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When Max was assigned as the personal guard to the eldest prince of Warnerstock, he was given one rule: do not, under any circumstance, let him out of the royal walls.
Max didn’t question it at first. After all, Yakko Warner was the heir to the throne—it was only natural the regency council would want to ensure his complete safety. Who knew how many people might try to harm him, kidnap him for ransom, or worse?
Except that, just as he was being led to Yakko’s chambers by Scratchansniff for the first time and Max asked if anyone’d ever actually managed to hurt the prince, the palace advisor stopped in his tracks and laughed.
“Hurt him? Nein, nein, he’s the one everyone needs protection from!”
Needless to say, after clawing his way up from being the son of the town fool to earning the rank of knight, Max was less than enthusiastic about the prospect of being stuck inside a palace to keep a royal in check 24/7. Especially one who was apparently too insane to be trusted even in his own gardens. He’d grown up on stories of brave heroes and legendary quests, and taming a bratty prince didn’t sound half as cool as taming a dragon—even if Scratchansniff had warned him that controlling Yakko was “a trial countless noble souls had undertaken, only to flee in terror.” Yadda yadda.
Meeting Yakko was all it took for Max to realize Scratchansniff hadn’t been exaggerating.
Yakko did not like him. To be fair, Max doubted he’d be fond of the person whose job was to keep him from tasting freedom, either. That didn’t mean, however, that he was okay with being the target of elaborate booby traps or not-so-friendly jabs on the daily, most of the time with Yakko’s siblings acting as his little sidekicks or fiendish cheerleaders. But if Max was anything, he was stubborn. So he learned to adapt, at first by trying to be as stoic as possible, hoping Yakko’d get bored sooner or later. But Yakko was too persistent, and Max wasn’t patient enough for that to work. In the end, he snapped and fought back, screw the protocol.
That’s when Yakko’s attitude toward him changed. It probably wasn’t noticeable to anyone else since he didn’t act all that different. But Max could see it crystal clear: the impressed expression Yakko wore anytime Max managed to dodge a sharp object thrown his way, the amused smile every time Max caught him before he could run off, or the glint in his eyes whenever Max gave back as much snark as Yakko dished out.
Eventually, Yakko started to ease up. Max was more than a little surprised to discover that when he wasn’t actively trying to be a terror, the prince was a lot less chaotic than one might expect. There were times when he’d simply lie down and read quietly, looking so peaceful that Max started to feel bad about not being allowed to leave him alone. And when Yakko was in the mood to do what he did best and talk Max’s ear off, he never failed to impress him with how brainy he was.
So yeah, it took a bit, but Max came to realize that Yakko wasn’t nearly as dangerous or out of his mind as everyone made him out to be.
After that, falling for him was entirely too easy (hiding the relationship they definitely weren’t supposed to have was a bit trickier, but they managed).
Not that Yakko ever stopped being a handful.
“I can’t believe you’re going to abandon me, what kind of knight in shining armor are you?”
Max couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the dramatics of his boyfriend currently sprawled across his oversized king bed. “I’ll be gone for one day. You’ll live.”
“You don’t know that,” Yakko whined. “I could very well die of boredom with Ralph replacing you.”
“You love bothering Ralph.”
“I like bothering you more,” Yakko retorted, pushing himself into a sitting position to look at Max, who was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “Got any fancy plans for your day off?”
Max shrugged. “Besides getting smothered by my dad? Not really. I’m probably just going to meet up with my friends, visit the market… the usual.”
Yakko hummed. “Sounds exciting.” After a beat, he added, “Maybe I could join you. Not that Ralph’d even notice.”
That caused Max’s brows to furrow. It wasn’t the first time Yakko threatened to break out of the castle, and it surely wouldn’t be the last—though as time passed, he tried less and less to put that into practice.
Max ran a hand through his hair. “Yakko, we’ve talked about this. It’s not that—”
“It’s not that you don’t want me to go out, you just don’t want me to get in trouble with the old men in charge,” Yakko said in a poor imitation of Max’s voice. “Yeah, yeah. I was kidding, Maxie. I’m not going to try escaping. At least until you’re back here to try and stop me. Pinky promise.”
After saying that, Yakko held out his pinky and batted his eyes in fake innocence. Max didn’t return the gesture, though. Sure, his boyfriend joked around most of the time, but Max had learned to read him well enough to notice that this time, a little bit of truth slipped through the humor—that the way Yakko said Max’s mundane plans sounded exciting was more genuine than he’d ever admit.
Max knew how badly Yakko wanted to go outside, but he wasn’t lying when he said he had Yakko’s safety in mind. He was probably the only one in the castle being truthful about that, Wakko and Dot excluded. And yet, he hated this: he hated that, whether it was because he had been caught one too many times or to do Max a favor by making his job easier, Yakko had almost seemed to give up on the idea of escape; he hated treating him like a child who needed constant surveillance; and, most of all, he hated being praised for doing a good job by the same people who saw Yakko’s behavior as a valid justification, rather than as a result, for his lack of independence.
He let out a long sigh and pushed himself off the wall to walk closer to the bed. “You’re gonna be okay?”
Yakko blinked up at him before scoffing. “Of course I am. Who do you think you are? I’m not going to die without you.”
Max would’ve laughed at the hypocrisy if it weren’t for the fact that Yakko’s smile still wasn’t reaching his eyes. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to Yakko’s lips. “See you in two days,” he murmured before straightening up.
Yakko let out a pleased hum, but when Max reached the door to the room and glanced back, Yakko looked so uncharacteristically dejected that it broke his heart.
“Have fun tomorrow,” Yakko said, his voice quieter than usual.
Max gave a tight nod and forced himself to open the door. “Goodnight, Yaks.”
“Goodnight, Maxie.”
Once Max stepped into the corridor, he stood silently in front of the closed door. Several minutes passed before he clenched the hand still gripping the doorknob.
“I’ve got a plan.”
— — — — —
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“Good morning to you too.”
Max figured Yakko staring at him like he’d grown a second head overnight was a fair reaction. It wasn’t every day you woke up to your boyfriend throwing pebbles at the window from the tree right outside your room.
“That doesn’t answer my question,” Yakko said.
“I’m here to pick you up for our date,” Max replied smoothly, or at least attempted to. Being in plain clothes and awkwardly perched on a branch surely wasn’t doing much to sell the image.
Yakko raised a brow. “Where, in the gardens? Not that I’d mind, but if you’re wasting your day off when we could’ve done this any other day just to play cool boyfriend—”
“Okay, first off, I don’t consider spending time with you a waste. And second, we’re not hanging around the gardens, smartass.”
“Then where?”
“Outside.”
Max watched with satisfaction as Yakko’s composure slipped—the way his eyes widened slightly, the sharp inhale. “…what?”
Max gave a casual shrug. “Figured it was time for a change.” He flashed a grin and held out a hand for Yakko to take. “So? What do you say?”
Yakko shifted his eyes from Max’s face to his hand, his expression unreadable. “What about Ralph?”
“Wakko and Dot will keep him busy. Or trapped somewhere. I talked to them yesterday before leaving, you should’ve seen how excited they got when I asked them to do that.”
“So they’re not coming?”
Max’s smile faltered. “Um, look… I needed someone to cover for us. But they weren’t mad! Dot said, and I quote, that some fresh air might make you less of an insufferable prick.”
Yakko not reacting to his sister’s remark might’ve been the biggest giveaway he was still processing everything. He stayed frozen for a few long seconds before his face finally cracked into a huge smile. “No freaking way,” he breathed. Then, without warning, he leaned out the balcony and snatched Max’s hand so eagerly it nearly made him fall. “What are we waiting for? Let’s get out of here!”
Max had been working at the palace long enough (and had snuck out of his own home enough times) to know how to get his boyfriend past the gates without anyone noticing. He even gave Yakko some of his old clothes and a cap. He was practically swimming in them, but at least nobody would mistake him for a prince.
By the time they reached the market square, Yakko could barely contain himself. Max watched fondly as Yakko paused for a moment, eyes sparkling and smile wobbling like he might scream from excitement. Once he started exploring, it went pretty much as Max expected: Yakko darted from stall to stall, inspecting every oddity, chatting with every seller, and flooding those from faraway lands with questions.
Max would’ve appreciated his boyfriend’s sheer joy a bit more if he weren’t so busy scanning everyone and everywhere for potential danger while practically glued to Yakko, who, naturally, called him out.
“Relax, Maxie. You’re off duty today, remember? You can drop the bodyguard act.”
“You don’t know these streets like I do,” Max replied coolly, ignoring Yakko’s snort. “Besides, I’m not doing this as your knight. I’m doing it as your boyfriend.”
Yakko’s head jerked back as he blinked at him. Max hoped he’d blush, but Yakko’s signature smirk returned almost instantly. “Alright then, why don’t you act like a proper boyfriend and hold my hand?”
Max looked at his outstretched hand. They’d never been on a real date before, and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t daydreamed about it. He thought about it whenever he wandered the streets and saw another couple, a pang of envy hitting him each time.
He hadn’t considered it at first, but… now they had the chance.
Without wasting another second, he grabbed Yakko’s hand and matched the grin spreading across his face.
They spent the rest of the day like that: just having fun, walking freely without a care in the world like any regular couple. It was easily one of the best days Max had had recently.
Which meant, of course, something had to ruin it.
Yakko had just picked out souvenirs for his siblings when a loud voice caught their attention. A few feet away, a well-dressed nobleman was yelling at a young boy clutching his ragged shirt, tears streaming down his dirty face.
“—worthless little thief! I saw you eyeing my pouch!” the nobleman shouted.
“I swear, sir,” the boy whimpered. “I was just looking at the fruit.”
“A liar too! Someone should teach you some manners!”
Max’s jaw tightened as he took a step forward, ready to tell the guy to leave that kid alone. However, he froze mid-step when he noticed someone had been faster.
“Ex-squeeze me, good sir.”
Oh no.
Max watched with mild horror as his boyfriend strode toward the man, hands clasped behind his back. His first instinct was to rush in and stop things before they got ugly—Yakko could end up recognized, or worse, hurt. But Max also knew how stubborn his prince was and how upset he’d be if Max didn’t trust him to handle it himself. So Max settled for staying alert, ready to jump in if things went south, and motioned for the kid to hide behind him.
“I couldn’t help but notice your passionate display of civic duty,” Yakko said.
The nobleman turned to him with a scowl. “This doesn’t concern you.”
“Oh, but it does! You see, I’m something of a student of human nature. Tell me, do you always accuse people of theft for looking at things? Because that’s remarkable deductive reasoning right there,” Yakko rattled on, circling the man. “The only problem is… you’ve been eyeing quite a few things yourself: that woman’s jewelry, that man’s horse. Should we call the guards? Are you perhaps the most ambitious thief in the kingdom?”
By now, a crowd had gathered, and people were starting to chuckle. The nobleman looked around, irritated. “This is absurd—” he began, but before he could continue, Yakko pretended to stumble, catching the other’s arm for support. The man, thrown off balance, flailed and tumbled backward, landing unceremoniously on his bottom.
“Oh my!” Yakko gasped. “How clumsy of me! Though I suppose someone of your immense wisdom should’ve seen that coming.”
The crowd erupted in laughter, and the nobleman, red as a beet from humiliation, scrambled to his feet with a frustrated growl and stormed off, muttering something about impudence.
“Look at how careless he was,” Yakko said as he leaned down to pick something up from the ground. He returned to the boy who was still hugging Max’s leg and crouched to his level, revealing the nobleman’s coin pouch. “I believe this should go to someone who actually needs it.”
The kid’s face lit up. “Really?”
“Absolutely!” Yakko confirmed, ruffling his hair. “Go buy yourself something nice, okay?”
As the kid rushed off with a grateful grin, Yakko turned his attention back to Max, but stilled when he saw his expression. “What?”
Max couldn’t tell what face he was making. He just knew he still hadn’t fully recovered from the scene he’d witnessed. Of course Yakko would have no trouble dealing with a stupid snob. He felt like an idiot for ever worrying. He shook his head softly. “Nothing. We should probably get you home now, it’s going to be dark soon.”
By the time they made it back to the castle, the sky was already black. Max would’ve been perfectly satisfied that they’d survived the day in one piece and without being busted by any guards if it weren’t for one detail: he had expected Yakko to be as talkative as ever after the day they’d had, but instead he wasn’t saying a word.
When they reached Yakko’s balcony, Max was about to ask what was wrong, but Yakko beat him to it.
“Are you disappointed?”
“Huh?” Max asked, completely taken aback. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, y’know.” Yakko waved a hand vaguely, the kind of dismissive gesture he always used when pretending not to care. “You trusted me enough to take me outside, and look at how that turned out—with me making a scene and some guy ending up flat on his ass.”
“He deserved it.”
“Obviously. But that’s not textbook noble prince behavior, is it?” Yakko lowered his gaze, tugging absently at his sleeve before adding in a quieter voice, “Maybe those old guys aren’t so wrong about keeping me locked up here after all.”
For the next half-minute, there was only silence. Max was so stunned he might’ve stayed frozen in place if it weren’t for how clearly Yakko needed him to speak. He drew a deep breath and finally asked, “You really wanna know what I think?”
Yakko glanced hesitantly at him, then nodded. “Shoot.”
“You saw someone in trouble, and you didn’t think twice about taking matters into your own hands, even knowing it could backfire on you. None of those council guys would’ve lifted a finger to help a commoner, let alone a poor kid. So frankly, who gives a damn about their idea of a perfect prince?” Max placed his hands firmly on Yakko’s shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes before continuing, “All you proved today is that soon Warnerstock’s going to have an incredible king. So no, I’m not disappointed. I’m proud of you. And I’m sure your parents would be too.”
Yakko’s breath hitched. “You… mean that?”
“Every word. Wait, let me make this official.” Max dropped to one knee and looked up at him. “I, Sir Maximilian Goof,” he announced in an overly solemn voice, placing one hand over his heart, “do hereby swear to His Royal Highness Prince Yakko Alvin Warner of Warnerstock that I will use all my cunning and skills to let you out of this castle as often as possible until the day you make your own rules.”
Yakko stared, baffled, until a giggle escaped. “What are you doing, you dork?”
“Furthermore, I pledge to devise a plan to include the younger royals in future escapades. This I promise, as your knight…” He reached up, taking Yakko’s hand and kissing his knuckles. His tone turned genuine. “And as someone who really, really loves you.”
This time Yakko actually blushed. “Get up here,” he ordered, tugging Max to his feet. The moment Max straightened, Yakko threw his arms around him, holding him almost desperately. “Thank you,” he whispered against Max’s chest. “For today and everything else.”
Max embraced him back, pulling him even closer. “Anytime.”