Chapter Text
To say that he wasn't attracted to Zayn would be a lie- it was just that there was so much more to it. Not a single detail that made up Zayn Malik was looked over, not a single habit or personality trait unnoticed. What had started out as attraction had completely escalated until the blonde felt himself falling harder than a piano from a window.
Or, as a less comical example, a car falling off a bridge.
Alright, scratch the 'less comical' part, because it was comical, in a really mean sort of way. Him, Niall Horan, and Zayn Malik? It was laughable at best, really. Sure people supported it (come on, the other guys all read fanfiction- no use denying it), but it just didn't work. Yeah, Perrie was all management, but that didn't mean automatically that he had a chance. No, he would simply wallow in self-pity and eat gallons of icecream like a girl with her period (he still didn't understand that whole thing and never wanted to. Anyway, moving on).
"Niall!" Louis entered his flat, slamming the door behind him.
But, of course. He should have known that the all-knowing Louis would drag him out of his self-pity cocoon and make him do things. With people.
All joking aside, he hated doing things with people, but only if those people happened to be just one person and that person happened to be Zayn Malik who happened to be in a world-famous boyband and dating person who happened to be a girl. And now the word 'happened' looks and sounds weird.
"What?!" The hyperactive brunette leaped onto the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest as Niall yelled back uselessly.
"Harry has to date another girl!" Louis wailed hysterically. Niall almost facepalmed.
"Welcome to my life, Louis. Except it's all the time for me. And people actually ship them." Louis patted him sympathetically before wailing again.
"And she's pretty!"
"Prettier than you?"
"Yes!" Louis covered his face as Niall raised an eyebrow.
"I bet her butt's not as fabulous." Louis sat up.
"That's true."
"And Harry always did say your eyes were an impossibly unique shade of blue..." Niall continued.
"That's also true," Louis nodded.
"And he loves how your hair feels." Niall finished, knowing Louis was satisfied.
"True dat," Louis quipped.
"So you'll tell him?"
"NO!" Niall covered his ears as Louis shrieked in a very [un] manly way.
"Can't hurt to try," Niall offered. Louis pouted at him.
"You won't tell Zayn."
"We both know Harry swings both ways. Zayn has a permanent (although fake) girlfriend, and has never dated a guy."
Louis was silent for a moment. "Icecream?" he suggested.
"Definitely," Niall agreed.
__
"I...what?!" Niall shrieked. And that was definitely in a manly way, unlike Louis.
Okay maybe not, from the funny looks he was getting.
"Ahem," he coughed. "I said I would date a fan IF I WANTED TO. Meaning I was interested in said fan." He was currently facing down their manager, who had just insisted upon him picking a fan in the next two concerts and dating her.
"Listen, Niall. You haven't dated since One Direction began. Every girl dreams of dating a member, and you're the only single one. And, whether or not you meant if you wanted to, they won't know that you don't (or you might change your mind and decide you want to)." Niall sighed.
"Fine, but only for one month, tops."
"Three."
"One and a half." Niall narrowed his eyes at the man.
"Two."
Niall sighed. "Fine, fine. Two months. But you can't extend that unless I want to." Niall stood, rapping the desk with his knuckles out if habit. "Will that be all?"
"You may go."
He met the boys outside the office, as they'd all had meetings about various things. Harry groaned as the latest 'girlfriend' came up.
"How's it going, Haz?"
"Harry's fine," he said stiffly. Niall couldn't remember what she did- modeling for some weird clothing company. Who cared about what 'Victoria's Secret' was anyway?
"We have a date scheduled at three tomorrow, Harry." She sauntered off, Louis mimicking her perfectly chiseled expressions.
"I have to date a fan!" Niall blurted. All eyes turned to him.
"Oh...I'm sorry," Harry said, looking back after that model as if he suddenly considered himself lucky. Niall glowered.
"And apparently I'm just supposed to date her for two months and then tell her it's not working and not bother saying it's for publicity." Liam clapped a hand on Niall's shoulder.
"At least you get to pick, Nialler."
"I guess," Niall griped, before slinging his bag on his shoulder and heading out.