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See the sunlight through the pine
Taste the warm of winter wine
Dream of softly falling snow
Winter snow Vermont glow
As the winter days unfold
Hearts grow warmer with the cold
Peace of mind is all you know
Winter snow Vermont glow
“Hey roomie,” Harvey announced when walking into Donna’s office.
“Excuse me?” Donna raised her eyebrows in confusion.
“Didn’t Rachel tell you? You guys were one person short for your mountain cabin Christmas so Mike invited me,” Harvey said. He had a smirk on his face and was enjoying this more than he should.
“He did what?!” Donna exclaimed. “I’m gonna kill him! Or no, I think I’ll torture him first and then wring his neck nice and slow.”
Harvey actually looked a bit hurt so she made an effort to smile while delivering the hard truth. “Is it wise to do this right now?”
Harvey let out an exasperated breath.
“I don’t know Donna. But didn’t you say you wanted things to get back to normal?”
Donna peered at him.
“This isn’t our normal!”
“Neither is you not telling me you have a boyfriend but normal has shifted, hasn’t it?”
Donna held up her hands in defeat. “Alright Harvey, we’ll do this. But you are going to immerse yourself in the Christmas spirit. No sulking, no moaning about this holiday, its traditions, and its decorations. I want this to become a happy memory.”
“I can do that,” Harvey promised her.
Harvey and Donna had a flight to Burlington at noon on December 23rd. This was the most they could stretch it before Christmas. Louis was already talking about how it was a disgrace that the managing partner and COO were both unavailable for last-minute crises before the office closed for a week starting December 25th.
Rachel and Mike would already be there. They were not needed to tie up the loose ends and sign the last papers of the year so they flew out on the 22nd.
Upon arrival at the airport, Harvey stowed their bags in their rental car and hit the road for the last stretch of their journey.
The landscape was dotted with red barns, white steepled churches, and forests turned white by snow.
It was breathtakingly beautiful and Donna was mesmerized. Which, in turn, had Harvey mesmerized by her.
They came through small villages, covered bridges, and drove past pretty clapboard homesteads. Roof outlines were strung with lights and doors had green wreaths on them. The sun was setting and snowcapped mountains rose in the distance.
“Is that part of the ski area?” Donna asked.
“Yes,” Harvey replied. “That is Stowe. On the far right you see Spruce Peak and the top just left of that is Mt. Mansfield, the highest peak in Vermont.”
“You seem to know a lot about this?”
“Look through the trees,” Harvey ignored her question and pointed ahead.
“Which trees?”
“The ones loaded with snow in front of you.”
“But they are all loaded with snow.”
“DONNA, would you just look already? Right there,” Harvey pointed again.
“I see a lake and mountains and-. Oh cabins. Is one of those ours?” Donna turned to him with an excited look on her face.
Harvey smiled at her excitement. “Yes, the one on the far end would be ours if I’m not mistaken.”
They drove through the forest and followed the edge of the lake. Then they took a turn and the road meandered up the hill. Cabins were scattered across the mountain but with enough space between them to feel secluded.
They stopped at the very last one, at the end of the road. It was a large rustic cabin, with a porch wrapped all around it, a cathedral ceiling, and large windows going up all the way to the rafters. There was already a car on the driveway and thick clouds of smoke were coming from the chimney.
Rachel opened the front door and hugged Donna while Harvey followed behind her, struggling with their suitcases. Mike took one of them and ushered them all inside.
“Wow Rachel, this place is absolutely beautiful. Both inside and outside. You did well finding this gem,” Donna gushed but Rachel shook her head.
“Credits go to Harvey. He tipped this place to Mike when telling him about a mountain getaway.”
Donna looked at him surprised. She didn’t know he knew about this trip before he was asked along. “How did you know about this place?”
“My dad. He was away a lot but he always made sure he was home between Christmas and New Year’s. He’d pack us all in the car and drive to Vermont.” Harvey cleared his throat. “I have many fond memories of this place.”
Donna glanced at Mike and Rachel but they subtly shook their head. They had no idea this place held childhood memories for Harvey.
“I’m glad you recommended it, Harvey. I already love it. We’ll probably add some more good memories to your collection.” Donna smiled warmly. “Now let’s unpack. Where’s our bedroom?”
Mike pointed to the loft that was covering half the living space and was accessed by a spiral staircase in the corner.
Donna climbed the steps enthusiastically and uttered a “wow” when reaching the top. A large king bed was facing the ceiling height windows and it was a front row view of nature’s finest. White covered trees everywhere with branches drooping under the burden of snow, the lake, and more mountains in the background. It was a stunning sight.
Harvey sat down on the edge of the bed and took it all in. He hadn’t been sure what being here again would do to him and if everything would still be as he remembered. But it felt nice sharing this place with his friends.
Donna was on her knees next to him looking under the bed.
“Bears and moose tend to be where the food is. No need to check under the bed before going to sleep.” Harvey said while totally checking out her backside.
“Ha friggin’ ha, I was checking if these are two separate beds.”
“And?” he had noticed the bed was made up as one whole but hadn’t given it much thought.
“No, it’s really a large king.” Donna sounded annoyed. “RACHEL”
Mike and Rachel were occupying the downstairs bedroom which consisted of two beds made up as one. However, they were not willing to swap. No matter how much Donna pleaded, they did not butch.
“Look Rachel and I already slept in that bed, maybe we even did some more,” Mike winked. “And there are no spare sheets.”
This sealed the deal for Harvey. He grabbed Donna’s arm while hissing “There is just no way that sharing a bed with me is worse than lying on sheets where they did that.”
“Fine,” Donna had no other choice but to resign to her fate. “But if you so much as cross a toe past the middle mister-”
“Donna! Just go unpack up there!” Harvey now sounded aggravated. Which was unlike him. He usually saved his stern voice for clients and used more hushed tones with her. So up the stairs she went.
-*-*-*-*-
After dinner, they set about decorating the living room in festive spirits. The resort provided a tree and decorations upon request. The bare tree next to the fireplace was waiting for them to put some colour and light in it.
The women took care of the tree while the men strung some lights along the beams.
“These are really nice baubles,” Donna said while hanging some more. “But I forgot how my own ornaments add personality to a tree.”
“Do you have a color scheme?” Rachel asked but Donna shook her head.
“My ornaments are a mishmash of old and new. My mum let me pick out a new ornament each year and gave them all to me when I left home. The newer ones are mainly baubles that I picked up at special places. Somewhere I travelled or hand-painted ones at a vintage store.”
“Oh, I love that idea. I’m going to keep that in mind when we have a child.” Rachel shared a look with Mike.
“I think this tree is done. Do you want to put the star at the top Harvey?” Donna said.
Harvey looked surprised that the honors went to him to do this but he grabbed the star nonetheless. However, when looking at the top of the tree he knew there was no way it was going to fit.
“That top isn’t straight, it has all these blobs and lumps on the side. The star isn’t going to slide on top with how it is now.”
“So what do you suggest?” Mike asked.
“The top needs to come off,” Harvey replied.
Mike nodded in agreement.
“Are you crazy? That thing is like 8 feet tall,” Rachel couldn’t believe these men.
Mike was already looking in the adjacent garage and came back with a stepladder and a hacksaw.
Rachel and Donna’s eyes grew wide at the sight of the items Mike carried back into the house but they refrained from commenting and just watched instead.
After rock paper scissors, they determined that Harvey would get up on the ladder. Once up there Mike handed him the saw and offered some unsolicited advice.
“Mike shut up. I can saw a top of a tree. It’s not rocket science.” Harvey shot an annoyed look at Mike and by doing so he leaned too far backwards which caused the ladder to topple over. Well almost because while the women could only cry out in fear, Mike grabbed the stepladder and prevented him from falling to the ground.
“Holy snowball that was close,” Mike said after Harvey regained his balance.
“Who invited you?” Harvey replied.
“I was just hanging around.”
“I thought you were gonna stay in the museum. Round up some tugs.”
“How ‘bout, nice to see ya? Glad you’re here to save my life,” Mike delivered the punchline with flair.
They looked pretty pleased with their quote off while Donna and Rachel could only mutter “Men-“
“Thanks Robin,” Harvey said sincerely.
“Anytime Batman,” Mike answered. “Because Batgirl seems to be more about shrieking than taking action these days.”
He glared at Rachel and Donna.
“Not cool girls, not cool.”
Rachel slapped his arm, “Hey, I said that thing is huge and you were crazy.”
Harvey had just managed to finally saw the top bit of the tree and threw it on the floor. “What’s that about being huge? Really guys I would appreciate it if we could not share any more bedroom antics from now on.”
Mike sniggered but Donna held up her hands in defeat. “Aaaand that’s it, I’m out.”
Rachel followed her to the kitchen and it was just the men left with a tree, a stepladder, a saw, and a star.
Harvey placed the star on top of the tree. “Was it something I said?”
*-*-*-*-*
It was the morning of December 24th, when Harvey woke up next to Donna.
He had never woken up next to her, not even after the other time. He had left in the early hours of the morning to avoid exactly this. He couldn’t stop staring.
He had gone to bed after her and when he approached he could see in the moonlight that she had pushed both of their pillows to the edges of the bed and had placed a throw pillow in between as if to establish a clear boundary between them.
He had climbed into bed in his boxers and a t-shirt and fell asleep quickly, facing away from her.
But opening his eyes, he had turned in his sleep and was dangerously close to the middle. Donna, still asleep, was facing him and was snoring lightly.
Harvey thought it was cute and then muttered to himself You’ve got it bad Specter.
To avoid any awkwardness when she’d wake up, he left the bed. With his back to Donna, he pulled on some sweatpants and took the stairs down. He didn’t notice that Donna had been looking at him the whole time.
After breakfast, they all went down to the ski shop and rented gear. Donna inquired about some ski lessons but soon learned that none of the others would be joining her and she pouted.
“I thought we’d all be in the same boat but obviously not?”
She looked expectantly at Rachel but her friend shook her head.
“I’m sorry Don, I have been doing this since I was nine. No lessons for me.”
Donna looked at Mike next.
“I’ve been tagging along with the Zanes’ the past few years. I’m proud to say I have now mastered the most difficult slopes.”
“I won’t even have to ask you,” Donna muttered at Harvey. “You’ve been coming here since you were little.”
“Actually,” Harvey said. “It’s been years since I last skied. I don’t need lessons but I’m not about to throw myself downhill on a double diamond trail either. Have you never skied at all?”
“I have once, when I was 19. I was not that bad but that was like 20 years ago and somehow the prospect of breaking a leg is not that appealing.” Donna zipped up her jacket and was still contemplating whether she should sign up for classes by herself.
“I’m good with sticking to just the moderate slopes for today. I might even remember enough to give you some tips.” Harvey hadn’t finished his sentence yet when he saw Donna beaming at his suggestion.
He’d happily stick to the baby slopes all week if it made her smile at him like this.
The four of them took the gondola up the first part of the mountain and then a chairlift to access different slopes.
Harvey took Donna to an easy slope. Rachel and Mike hesitated.
“Look, do you guys mind if we do a difficult slope and come back to check on you?” Rachel said.
Harvey gestured for them to go. Donna would feel more relaxed without them around, anxious to hurry her along to advance to more difficult trails.
“Alright let's cover the basics first. Do you know how to stop?” Harvey asked Donna.
Donna nodded. “Pizza”
Harvey chuckled. “Right. Also turns. So let’s go down this slope with your skis in a slight pizza shape and making long wide turns. Follow me, I’ll go slow. If you feel like you’re going too fast just push your heels out more to form a bigger pizza. This will act as a brake.”
Harvey set off at a slow pace and Donna followed him.
The slope was not steep and was designed for beginners so she managed just fine.
They took the drag lift back up the slope and did this run a few times. Each time Harvey would up the pace just a little bit more and looked around to see if Donna was keeping up and she was always following his lead. If he turned, she turned.
“How does it feel?” Harvey asked at the bottom of the slope.
“Not as scary as I thought. I don’t feel like the skis are running away with me so that’s something.”
“You definitely remember more than you thought. Let’s try another slope.”
Harvey led her to the chairlift that brought them to the top of the mountain.
They got off at the start of a moderate slope.
Donna looked down and said, “Okay this is exactly as scary as I thought.”
“You didn’t fall once. You can do this,” Harvey replied confidently.
“Yeah at a slope that had three-year-olds mastering it. Don’t think I didn’t notice that,” Donna grumbled. “This one is steep.”
“Just keep doing the same thing and you’ll be fine.”
Harvey set off and Donna had no choice but to follow.
Harvey had just hoisted her up again when Rachel and Mike came whooshing by. They waved and Rachel put her thumbs up at Donna. Donna however looked like she was just about ready to throw her skis in the canyon.
To her credit, she didn’t say a thing and immediately followed him again. They slowly made their way down the trail until she took a turn too sharp and was back to inhaling snow again.
“You are getting much better,” Harvey said while pulling her to her feet.
She looked at him astonished. “Better? All I do is kiss the ground you ski on.”
“Well, my reputation has earned me that kind of worship.”
Harvey had a twinkle in his eyes and Donna threw some snow at him.
“Come on, we’ll follow this nosedive trail and then there’s a restaurant right on the edge of the slope. I’ll text Mike to meet us there.”
Donna threw him a dirty look. “That’s not funny, Harvey.”
“What?” Harvey honestly didn’t know what he said to piss her off.
“I know I have taken a lot of nosedives on this last slope but even for you that was a bit low.”
Harvey roared with laughter.
“Donna, the name of the slope is nosedive trail. I wasn’t having a dig at you, I swear.”
She gave him a look of disbelief.
“Look it is right here on the map.”
She grabbed the skimap from him and sure enough it was on the darn map.
“Who does that, naming a slope nosedive and lower nosedive? That’s just jinxing it!”
Harvey chuckled while folding the map away and gave her a little push down the hill.
Mike and Rachel met them at the restaurant and inquired about how Donna was doing.
“I thought I was pretty flexible with all those years of yoga in me but I’m aching in body parts I didn’t even know existed.”
Mike grinned. “That sounds familiar.”
“I’m more in the snow than on the snow. I’ll be covered in bruises tomorrow.”
“Nonsense,” Harvey interrupted her. “She is doing well.” He turned to Donna. “You just need to adjust your weight a bit. The natural response is to lean back but you actually need to lean forward. Bend your knees just slightly.”
“Not that easy when on two large plastic slats though,” Donna said with a mouthful of pasta. Being on the mountain made her hungry.
“It’s all about trust. Your skis are designed to make that turn. You need to have faith in the ski’s.”
“I haven’t known my skis for 13 years yet so my faith in them is still a little low. Not all connections are instant.”
Mike and Rachel shared a look. Almost everything these two said had a double entendre, yet they kept on denying their feelings.”
During their lunch, a conversation sparked between Mike and Harvey about their experience on the slopes.
Harvey revealed that after his parents broke up, he had never been back in Stowe or on skis again. Mike sensed an opportunity to beat Harvey at something and took it.
“So how are your squeaky joints doing old man?”
Mike flashed him a grin and Harvey knew he was riling him up but he decided to take the bait.
“Some muscles feel like I haven’t used them in forever. This is a different kind of workout alright.”
“So no double diamond for you this week then? Wouldn’t want you to break something at your age. Those elderly break so easily and it takes so much longer to heal.”
Mike was treading on thin ice now but when he heard Harvey huffing he knew he had him right where he wanted him.
“What are you saying Mike?” Harvey stared at him.
“Want to race me on the Lookout trail? Or are you too afraid to break something?”
“Oh bring it on, puppy. I skied those trails when you were still in diapers.” Harvey closed the clasps of his ski boots and zipped up his jacket.
Mike zipped up his jacket too. “Which was how long ago exactly? A hundred years?”
Donna grabbed the ski map and searched for the Lookout trail the men had mentioned. It was in fact a double diamond slope.
Mike gave Rachel a kiss and gestured out of the window next to their table. “You can see the Lower Lookout from here. You should be able to declare me the winner.”
Just before he walked out of the restaurant Donna grabbed Harvey’s arm. “No pun intended when I say look out. It is more important to me to have you back here in one piece than to see you win.”
“You’ll have to work even harder with the managing partner out of the running you mean?” Harvey said but Donna didn’t look amused. “Don’t worry Donna, I know what I’m doing and I definitely know my age.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze.
After a ride in the chairlift, Mike and Harvey found themselves at the top of the mountain.
After the countdown, they raced down. Mike had only seen Harvey on the easier slopes with Donna where he kept a low pace for her so he was a bit surprised to see Harvey come alongside.
Donna and Rachel had their noses pressed up against the window to see how boys will be boys.
“There!” Rachel exclaimed and pointed up the hill. Mike and Harvey came down not far apart from one another.
“I don’t claim to know much about skiing and you are going to say I’m biased but Harvey is a hell of a lot better than he let on,” Donna said surprised.
“You are not biased. That man can ski alright. In fact, his technique is flawless.” Rachel was just as surprised at Harvey’s performance on the most difficult run out there.
When they got to the bottom part of the slope Harvey suddenly took a turn to the left and while Mike raced down to claim his victory, he entered the fun park.
Mike crossed the invisible finish line and looked around for Harvey. He was just in time to see Harvey make his first jump, and another and another pretty impressive one. Harvey rounded it off with a few jibs and then raced towards Mike at high speed and covered him in snow spray by braking at the very last second.
“Like I said, I’ve been doing this since you were in diapers.”
-*-*-*-*-
“Are we doing presents tonight or tomorrow morning?” Harvey looked around the dinner table at the others.
“Christmas morning!” they all yelled in unison.
“Good,” Harvey flashed a smile. “Because I need to pick up my last present in the village.”
“Leaving it to the last minute again Specter?” Donna comments while clearing the table.
“Special things take time,” Harvey replied and winked at her. “Anyone want to come? We can have a dessert on the way.”
Mike groaned. “I’m still full from dinner man. Like seriously stuffed.”
“Even better, you can walk it off on the way there.”
“You can walk to the village?” Donna felt like it had been much further by car yesterday.
Harvey nodded.
“It’s about 25 minutes one way.”
Mike made his way to the couch. “I feel like I need to lie down. Count me out.”
Harvey rolled his eyes and looked at Rachel. She gestured to Mike. “Someone needs to keep an eye on him.”
“He truly is like a pup sometimes.” Harvey sniggered. “Donna?”
“Yeah, I’d like to come if that’s okay?”
“Of course,” Harvey gave her a warm smile. “Just gear up though. It’ll be cold.”
Half an hour later they left the house and Harvey, sporting a torchlight, led them straight into the forest.
“You know what you’re doing right?” Donna looked a bit anxious.
She was glad Harvey had told her to wear appropriate clothing because it was freezing and the ground of the forest was covered with snow. Her snow boots and thermal underwear would keep her warm and dry.
“The quickest way down is through the forest. It’s an official track with signage and I’ve walked it hundreds of times.” Harvey reassured her.
“Okay I trust you completely to not get us lost in the woods at 23F”
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, they reached a clearing in the woods and Harvey turned off his flashlight. The moonlight cast its glow on their surroundings.
Trees were soaring upwards, their branches succumbing to the weight of a fresh load of snow.
Donna inhaled the crisp winter air and the smell of the forest. It felt magical here, a lifetime away from Manhattan.
Harvey put his finger to his lips and pointed at the ground near a large pine tree. At first, Donna wasn’t sure what she was looking at but then she saw a set of eyes shooting rapidly from side to side. It was a snowshoe hare so apart from the eyes and the top of its ears it totally blended into its surroundings.
Harvey looked at Donna. The soft light of the moon gave her an almost ethereal glow. She looked happy and relaxed. He hadn’t expected to ever find himself back here in this place but with her near he could handle it.
Suddenly a loud cracking broke the silence. Donna gasped and Harvey instinctively grabbed her hand.
“Are there bears in this area?” Donna whispered.
“Yes,” Harvey replied truthfully. “But they’ll be in their den at the moment.”
“And they won’t come out?”
“No they are hibernating in there so it can’t be a bear. Might be a moose though.”
“That doesn’t make me less frightened. Those things are huge and they kick.” Donna’s voice was quivering.
“Donna, turn around very slowly,” Harvey whispered.
“Do I really want to?” she whispered back.
“Trust me, you do.”
She had known him for approximately 4800 days now and there hadn’t been a day she didn’t trust him to take care of her always. Thus she turned around and mouthed a silent “oooooh.”
Between the trees stood a white-tailed deer and a few feet behind the deer she even spotted a fawn.
Donna was enthralled by this rare sight and Harvey softly squeezed her hand.
Donna could’ve stayed there all night but Harvey pulled her along. He had an errand to run and the track back up would be enough of a challenge already. The later they started their return, the colder it would be.
They arrived at the village decorated in Christmas lights, a big lit tree at the town square, and even some carol singers.
Loving all things Christmas, Donna was in her element and while still holding hands with Harvey she grabbed his arm with her other hand and beamed at him.
He gave her a wide smile in return. Seeing her happy was his main purpose every day.
Harvey left her listening to carol singers while quickly dropping into an artsy store to pick up his package.
He returned with a small brown paper bag that gave nothing away and took her hand again to pull her away from the caroling.
He led her through the snow-covered street filled with decorations. Trees were wrapped with soft white lights, store windows outlined with green garlands. It was everything described in Christmas stories come to life.
Donna only knew Harvey to always ignore everything Christmas but he had been dipped head to toe into the festive season in his younger years, that much was clear.
He stood still in front of a historic building with two large windows on the side and a door in the middle. The windows had red-white striped awnings and were outlined with garlands. There was a tree covered in lights on each side of the entrance.
Harvey quickly glanced at their hands, still intertwined, and with a smile on his face, he looked Donna in the eyes. “This is Pie in the Sky, probably the best pie store in all of Vermont. If not the entire country. Are you up for a slice?”
Donna nodded enthusiastically and they entered the store.
In front of the windows were several tables and chairs and the back of the shop had refrigerated pie displays filled with all different kinds of pies and colors.
They sat down in the seating area and Donna looked eagerly at the displays.
Harvey handed her a menu and while reading she kept glancing over to the display to see if she could spot it.
“So what’s good?”
Harvey grinned. “Everything is good. And by good I mean you want to try them all.”
“I was afraid of that. That’s not going to narrow down my choices.”
“Well if you stick to our holiday specials, there are only ten to choose from.” A woman in her sixties approached their table.
“Only ten?” Donna laughed. “That’s still an impossible choice. There might be no other option than to bring some back to our cabin, Harvey.” She gave him a cheeky smile.
“She just might be the perfect girl, Harvey Specter,” the woman said with twinkling eyes.
“She is,” Harvey said softly before getting up to gently hug the older woman. “Rose, how are you? You look like you haven’t aged a day since I last saw you.”
“Well, you have.”
Donna chuckled at the woman’s sassiness.
“You were still in law school back then. Did you pursue that law career or have you turned your music performances into a livelihood after all?”
“Music performances?” Donna gave Harvey a surprised look.
“Gordon turned every night into a music fest. He brought his sax everywhere and he and Harvey have played plenty of Christmas tunes in my store.”
“I was more interested in practicing baseball than in an instrument. When my shoulder prevented me from pursuing a baseball career I turned to the law. Haven’t looked back since.”
“Harvey is managing partner at Specter Litt,” Donna said proudly.
“And Donna here is my COO,” Harvey’s face was a picture of pride. “The firm wouldn’t be where it is today without her. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her.”
A blush crept up on Donna’s face. It had been a long and rough year and her friendship with Harvey had suffered from the consequences of her actions.
For him to acknowledge her importance in his career meant everything right now.
“I’m very glad to see you doing so well Harvey.” Rose signaled something to one of her waiters. “Doing something you love and sharing it with someone you love is what life is all about.”
A waiter placed two hot chocolates in front of them.
“These are on the house,” Rose said. “I’m so very pleased to see you again after all these years Harvey.” She gave him a very warm smile. “I’m afraid the evening mass is almost over though and then we’ll have a line outside the door with people wanting pie so I need to get on. And you-,” she turned to Donna. “Need to make a choice now or it’ll all be gone soon.”
“Maple syrup pie, pumpkin gingersnap ice cream pie, grasshopper pie, candy cane pie. It all sounds so delicious. How does one choose?”
Donna looked at Harvey but he just laughed.
“Don’t look at me. I didn’t choose. I just had a different slice of pie every day. Kept me occupied the entire vacation.”
“Why am I not surprised. You still eat like it's vacation every day.” Donna finally closed her menu. “ A piece of eggnog cranberry pie please.”
“Maple syrup for me please, Rose,” Harvey added.
“Coming right up,” Rose noted it down on her pad. “Promise me you’ll stop by again after Christmas and not wait another 15 years?
“I promise.”
By the time they finished, the place was packed as Rose had predicted.
Donna went up to the counter to pay for their slices and took one pumpkin gingersnap ice cream pie to bring back to the cabin.
“Last time he was here he looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.” Rose took her credit card. “They stopped coming the year after.” She handed Donna her receipt and the pie. “He still looks a bit troubled now but when he looks at you he glows. I have never seen Harvey Specter glow.” Rose chuckled. “Don’t ever let him go. You’re good for him.”
“Oh no, we are not-“ Donna shuffled her feet awkwardly. “We are not together,” she said softly.
Rose raised her eyebrows. “Well find yourself a man that looks at you the way he does because that is how my Earl looks at me and we have been married for forty years.”
They left Pie in the Sky and walked back through the village. They passed the church. Its doors were open after the mass that had just ended.
Donna linked arms with Harvey and guided him inside.
Harvey sighed.
“Do we really have to Donna? I’m not really a church person.”
“This is not about you, this is about me.”
Harvey looked sheepish and quietly followed her to the front to a votive stand of candles.
Donna grabbed a candle and put a five-dollar bill in the offering box.
“As work prevents me from going back home more often, I always light a candle in memory of those who have passed. My grandparents and some friends.” She peeled at the wick that was slightly stuck in the wax.
“We are so busy with the firm that we often forget that there is more than work. And that we need to cherish the time we are given. So I light a flame to give warmth to the souls of our deceased but also to my heart and yours and my family and friends. The candle burns long after I have gone back to pick up the next mess at the firm and I always hope it will continue to spread its warmth into all our everyday lives and help us to feel that there is more.”
Harvey was clearly moved by what she had just said. He didn’t get to see this side of her very often.
Where he had often been incapable of dealing with emotions, Donna always very carefully guarded her emotions.
“You pray for me?” he whispered.
“Well, it is not so much a real prayer, as it is asking for guidance and helping me to help others to do the right thing. And we both know you have often needed that.”
Harvey smiled. He was a work in progress, alright.
“You deserve more warmth than you give yourself Harvey. You are worthy to be loved and more people care about you than you think. So yeah my candle is very much for you too.”
Donna was about to light her candle when Harvey stopped her.
Her explanation for lighting a candle had resonated with him.
“Do you think it would be okay for me to light a candle too, even though-,” Harvey’s voice was soft and barely above a whisper.
Donna gave him a heartwarming smile.
“Of course, anyone can light a candle and use the time to think, to reflect, and remember.”
Harvey nodded and grabbed a candle too. He pushed some dollars down the offering box and looked at her. Donna lit her candle on an almost dying one and then held it out to him. He lit his candle with hers and together they placed them in the stand.
They sat down in a pew together and stared at the dancing flames of all the candles for the longest time.
*-*-*-*-*
On Christmas morning Donna woke up before Harvey and he hadn’t had a chance to sneak off just yet.
She had ditched the throw pillow between them after the first night. In hindsight, it was a very silly action but she had recently overstepped their blurry lines so she had wanted to establish a clear boundary. To show him that he could trust her not to overstep again.
She lay on her back and listened to him breathing evenly.
She was so glad that after everything that had happened lately, they could be here. Harvey teaching her to ski, eating pie in a store where he used to sit with his dad, and even sharing a bed.
Though the latter still felt weird. This wasn’t their normal. In fact, seeing each other outside of work and being in a mountain cabin no less, was much more intimate than they had been in years. So sharing a bed was very much blurring the lines again.
She heard the rustling of the duvet and felt him turning. She looked to her left and was met by two brown eyes.
“Merry Christmas,” his sleepy voice said.
“Merry Christmas Harvey,” she replied and quickly got up and locked herself in the bathroom.
When she came downstairs in a Christmas sweater and her comfy pants, Harvey was in the kitchen dressed in a shirt and pyjama bottoms.
He chuckled when he noticed Donna’s sweater.
Donna sat down at the kitchen counter. “Where is yours then?”
“I don’t have a sweater so you’ll have to make do with my white shirt today.”
Harvey was standing with his back to her, pouring pancake batter into the pan.
So Donna tiptoed to the tree, picked up one of the parcels, and sat down again at the counter with the parcel in front of her.
“You know I-“ Harvey had turned around and noticed the package wrapped and tied with a bow in front of her.
“What’s that?” He eyed it suspiciously.
“I saw it and thought of you so I just had to buy it.”
Harvey returned to the stove to pour some more batter into the pan. In another pan, he had some bacon crackling and he also had some fruit cut up into pieces waiting to be turned into a delicious breakfast.
When he faced Donna again, he fainted annoyance.
“Don’t think I can’t guess that you bought me some Grinch sweater.”
Donna’s face was a look of pure innocence.
“Fine, I’ll open it but if you think I’m wearing a Grinch sweater in front of Mike then-“ Harvey had ripped the paper and was holding up a Christmas sweater indeed. Instead of the Grinch, as he suspected, it had a large cactus appliqué on the front wrapped in Christmas lights that could be turned on to blink in a hysterical sequence.
Harvey’s face broke into a smile and a laugh escaped him.
“You did promise me to immerse yourself in the Christmas spirit,” Donna said while crumpling the discarded wrapping paper into a ball.
“This is the only sweater I’m willing to wear,” he said while pulling it over his head.
“See, baby steps,” she winked at him.
“Thanks Donna” and he gave her a kiss on her cheek. Then he went back to the stove to finish breakfast.
Mike entered the kitchen and burst out laughing.
“Never thought I’d live to see the day Harvey Specter is wearing a Christmas sweater.”
“Yeah all my batsuits are at the dry cleaners so this is what I wear on laundry day,” Harvey quipped back.
He gestured to the table. “Sit ladies and… Mike, breakfast is served.”
Harvey put a plate in front of Rachel and Mike that had a pancake on it. On the lower part of the big pancake was a smaller pancake. Two banana slices at the side, two stripes of bacon at the top, two blueberries in the middle, and a raspberry underneath.
“OMG, it is a reindeer!” Rachel exclaimed. “Harvey, you are full of surprises.”
Harvey’s face was beaming but Mike cocked his head to the side.
“A reindeer pancake? That is what you do to impress women?”
“As a matter of fact, yes. Last year my eight-year-old niece loved it. Earned me the title of favourite uncle.”
“Aren’t you her only uncle?” Mike sniggered.
“Yes, but that’s not the point.” Harvey grabbed two more plates from the counter and placed one of them in front of Donna.
On her plate was a pancake with again two blueberries as eyes and a raspberry as nose. But this time the entire edge and lower part of the pancake were covered in whipped cream and at the top triangle slices of strawberry formed a hat.
Harvey grabbed the can of whipped cream and sprayed a dot at the top of the hat to round it off.
“There,” he said with a satisfied look on his face.
“A strawberry and whipped cream Santa?” Donna gave him a look.
“And pancake too,” Harvey pointed out.
Donna kept staring at him .“Strawberries and whipped cream, Harvey?”
Rachel gave her a confused look. “Don’t you like those Donna?”
Harvey smirked. “Oh, she likes it. She just doesn’t let herself indulge in it too often.”
Harvey had sat down with his own Santa pancake and his last remark earned him a nice kick in the shin from Donna but he wasn’t finished yet.
“How long has it been exactly Donna?”
“Apparently not long enough,” she answered through gritted teeth.
With a satisfied smirk, Harvey dug into his pancake.
After breakfast, they all sat down in the lounge to open the presents. They had agreed upfront that they all would buy one present each for the other three.
Mike and Rachel had given each other very symbolic presents which had involved a few tears from Rachel’s side and Donna and Harvey were very much feeling like the odd ones out at the moment.
They were seated on a couch opposite Mike and Rachel, at least a foot between them, and since the pancakes, they hadn’t really spoken directly to each other.
“Shall we open the last two presents then?” Harvey had enough of watching Mike and Rachel being very much in love.
Donna stood up and grabbed a rectangular-shaped package from underneath the tree.
“What to get the man who has everything?”
Mike and Rachel had stuck to some generic stuff he liked. Basketball tickets from Rachel and Mike had a scotch decanter engraved with Life is like this, I like this.
But Donna prided herself on getting Harvey a personal gift each year that he actually liked.
“Especially when it is the 14th time now?”
Harvey nodded.
“Since I’m COO, I’m not as tuned into your likings anymore as I used to be-“
This made Mike cough and share a look with Rachel while Harvey cleared his throat.
“Anyway, I hope you do like it.” Donna quickly pushed the present into Harvey’s hands.
Harvey carefully opened the beautifully wrapped present, which he knew Donna had done herself.
Inside he found a leather binder. The kind he used at work for his depositions and meetings.
However, it was the laser engraving in the leather that captivated him. He recognized it immediately. It was the sheet music of a song on his dad’s album.
‘Young and foolish’
He pulled Donna closer so he could give her a hug. “Thank you, Donna,” he said with a hoarse voice. “Once again the gift I didn’t know I needed.”
“You’re welcome Harvey, I’m just glad you recognized it,” Donna said while giving him a shy smile.
“Oh yeah, Dad always had his sheet music lying around. And this particular piece is what he had me practice back when he still thought he could make a musician out of me. He said the title applied to me.” Harvey chuckled at the memory. “Why did you choose this song?”
Donna looked at him intently. “I just liked the title.”
Harvey carefully picked up the last present and placed it into Donna’s lap.
“Okay, I know I have a reputation of awful gift-giver, if I don’t enlist your help.”
He saw Rachel and Donna share a look.
“Yeah don’t think I don’t know you girls gossiped about it.” He gestured to Donna and Rachel while giving them an indignant look.
“Now hey!” Rachel protested. Then adding innocently “Mike was there too…”
“Like I said, you girls gossip.”
Mike interrupted him. “I’m gonna let that go. For now. Because I know the suspense is absolutely killing Donna.”
Donna rolled her eyes.
“Fine, open it,” Harvey said with a hint of annoyance, and let himself fall back into his seat on the couch.
Donna unwrapped the present and out came a box bow tied with a red ribbon. The box had a logo printed on it which she recognized from the artsy store Harvey had entered last night.
She pulled the ribbon and inside she found a bauble. The bauble had a painting on it and that’s when her eyes brimmed with tears. She looked up at Harvey.
“How did you-?”
“Well once I knew we’d be spending Christmas here in Stowe, I remembered Hannah, she’s the owner of Hannah Craft in town, making these hand-painted baubles with Stowe’s characteristic buildings on them for tourists. Once I got her to agree on a specially commissioned one for me, I enlisted the help of the other Paulsen woman I know to help me with a photo for Hannah to paint.”
Donna gasped. “You rang my mum?”
“How else was I gonna get a picture from your childhood home? Your dad? Harvey threw her a mirthless smile. “Your mum dug up this photo with snow and holiday decorations. It was exactly what I had in mind for this bauble.”
“Thank you, Harvey.” Donna passed the bauble, with a painting of her childhood home at Christmas time, on to Rachel to admire. “It is absolutely perfect.” And she softly kissed his cheek before giving him a hug.
It was quickly decided to hit the slopes briefly before they would take on the task of making Christmas dinner.
After a few runs on the moderate slopes together, Mike and Rachel were off to do one black diamond run.
Donna and Harvey decided to take the chairlift one last time to the Upper Perry Merrill Trail, their final run of the day.
About halfway up the mountain the lift stopped. This happened quite often when someone at the bottom station was having problems getting in the chair and the operator needed to pause the lift.
However this time it took longer than usual to start up again and it didn’t come as a surprise when they announced some technical difficulties and hoped to fix the issue as soon as possible.
Harvey sighed.
“Look at it this way. It’ll be a nice story to tell at the office when we get back.” Donna said while looking at their surroundings.
They were 30 feet up in the air. No other option than to stay put.
“Are we telling people about this trip then?”
Donna looked surprised. “Is it supposed to be a secret? Because Louis already knows so he told everyone as soon as we left the building, you realize that right?”
Harvey groaned. “It’s just that I remembered that I quite like this place but I don’t really fancy running into anyone others from the office in the future.”
“Pie in the Sky?”
“Pie in the Sky,” Harvey confirmed. “It might just very well be my favorite place on earth.”
“Rose seems very fond of you. And your dad. You should bring Marcus and his kids here. I think both sides would love that.” Donna shifted a bit. The chair wasn’t all that comfy anymore after a while and the skis and boots were a heavyweight. “She did assume we were together.”
“Everyone always assumes that don’t they?”
“Yep.”
“Although I doubt your last boyfriend did since we never met each other. Or did you tell him about me?”
“Really Harvey, now you wanna do this?”
“Seems as good as any. Not like we have anything else to do up here.”
“Well, you can’t just up and leave when it comes to you sharing your emotions either.”
Harvey looked down at the ground. Still 30 feet up in the air, dangling in a chair on a rail.
“I’m ready to talk about my emotions. In fact, I think I have expressed them several times in the past. It is you who wanted to put it all in a box and never talk about it again. You guard your emotions like Fort Knox.”
Harvey knew his words had been too harsh as soon as they left his mouth.
Donna felt like she could explode with anger. Or was it hurt?
“I was the one who asked you how. And I said I wanted something more.”
“I thought that having a seat at the table was your more?” Harvey looked puzzled now.
“The minute I said I wanted more, you got afraid. Again. So I thought you still weren’t ready for a relationship but turns out you just weren’t ready for one with me because you ran straight to her.”
Harvey closed his eyes and massaged the spot between his eyebrows. He felt a headache coming up.
Donna wasn’t done spewing her anger.
“I was the one who kissed you, not so long ago. But you made it very clear that was never to happen again so don’t say I guard my feelings when every time I showed them you didn’t want to follow through.”
“You made me a cheater! I don’t ever want that to happen again, indeed.”
They had raised their voices more and more so Donna tried to get a hold of herself and spoke in calmer tones.
“No Harvey, me kissing you didn’t make you a cheater. Not telling your girlfriend directly after it happened did that. Because if it didn’t mean anything there wouldn’t be a reason to withhold it from her.”
Harvey let the words sink in. She was right. Of course, she was right. That kiss had meant a great deal to him. She did the one thing, he never did. Take the risk.
“I was so afraid to screw things up with you that I didn’t follow through on the few times you called me out on my feelings. You are right about that.”
“What makes you think you would screw up?”
“Look at my track record. You were around for them all.” Harvey sounded defeated.
“Maybe that just wasn’t with the right person.”
“Yeah well, you are just too important to try and not have it work out again.”
Donna shifted in her seat so she could face him properly. “Harvey, you are not your mother. But I am not your mother either. You need to trust me to love you enough to not put you in that kind of position.”
“You love me?” Harvey said with a husky voice.
“Wasn’t that clear by now?” Donna whispered back. “Do you love yourself enough to trust that you won’t ever do what she did? Because I know you won’t. And I trust you to not screw this up.”
Donna took off her glove and cupped his face with her hand.
“Don’t you see? To me, you have always been perfect just the way you are.”
Harvey rushed forward and kissed her. It was fast and hard and then slow and soft and the world fell away.
His hand rested below her ear, his thumb caressing her cheek. She ran her fingers down his spine and pulled him closer.
“I love you and I trust us,” he whispered in her ear before kissing her again.
A wolf whistle could be heard below them. Mike and Rachel stood beneath the lift, clapping and cheering.
Suddenly the lift was set in motion again and Donna and Harvey were swept up on the mountain.
“Hey lovebirds,” Mike yelled and they turned around. “Merry Christmas”