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MC Charlie stood on the street, staring at a bar window. It had been a long night of pranks for him, which wouldn't typically entice him to go out.
What was making him think twice was the fact that Party Phil was there. Not just that, he seemed to have quite a lot of cups next to him, so maybe just maybe, Phil was intoxinationated enough for Charlie to might actually get to have a chat.
Putting on a brave face, he walked into the bar, and sat next to Phil.
"Hey, Party Phil! Remember me?", Charlie greeted looking straight at him.
Phil turned his head over and said flatly, "No."
Charlie’s voice caught in his throat. He was panicking, but he also knew he had to respond with something to avoid getting too awkward.
“Then how about we get to know each other?” It was generic, but at least he said something.
Phil side-eyed him, but responded with, “Sure.”
“Great!”, Charlie squeaked out, “You see, I happen to run a show, kind of like yours! Mine has lots of fun pranks!”
Phil’s expression didn’t change, not even an inch.
Panicking again, Charlie looked around for anything that could help. He noticed some of the patrons were familiar, maybe they could mention how much fun they had? He picked out Mr. Lee, recalling how skilled he was.
“Hey, Mr. Lee! You enjoyed my minigames, right?”
“I did,” Mr. Lee adjusted his glasses, “I even mastered Crazy Escape after repetitive practice.”
Party Phil rolled his eyes, “Repetition gets really old, really quickly. One contestant I had kept coming for the same game every, single, time. He sucked at it too, and his only gimmick was to scream so loud, a microphone would keep blowing out. What a dudebro.”
MC Charlie looked around for another contestant. Maybe Nick would be more interesting?
“Nick, how about you? The pranks were fun, right?”
“Haha, yeah!”, Nick flexed, “Dressing people up in sexy Santa outfits was hilarious!” MC Charlie knew it was actually Nick that had to wear the sexy Santa outfit, but decided not to provoke him.
Party Phil slumped his arm, “Pranks can be hit-or-miss. Like when I had to deal with Captain Falcon riding a horse on live TV.”
“Sounds like a real man,” announced a large, bushy warrior shoving his way into the middle of the bar.
“Uh, who are you?”, questioned Charlie.
“I am Vargu, of the Wolf Clan. We take pride, by throwing bowling balls at our challengers, to show dominance over their crippling concussions.”
“That sounds like the most generic dudebro thing ever,” retorted Phil.
Vargu was unfazed, “Vargu is sure you would understand, if you have ever played Kinect Sports Rivals for Xbox One.”
Charlie confusedly said, “What the hell is an Xbox One?”
Vargu simply said, “ligma balls”
Party Phil got an empty look on his face, which made MC Charlie nervous. He tried changing the subject.
“So, uh, Phil? Um, I just really wanted to know. How did you get so successful?”
Phil stared at Charlie, “You think I’m successful?”
“Well, uh, more successful than me. Cuz, well, I haven’t actually been getting much business these days, but I see people still keep coming back to you.”
Phil sighed, “I take bribes.”
“...What?”
“I wouldn’t have gone though that bullshit I mentioned if it weren’t for extra incentive, alright?”
Charlie stared blankly, so Phil pulled him closer to continue.
“Okay, look. The thing is, just, Matt. You can’t walk one step in this town without seeing something Matt has touched. That includes me. If he decides having certain contestants on my show is ‘desirable’, I don’t really have a choice. At least he compensates me.”
“And you really aren’t going to fight it?”
“With the media increasingly making every excuse they can to defend Matt? Not a chance. I’d prefer not to wake up to Miichael and Miimi announcing that I’m a demon from hell or whatever."
Phil sighed again, “That said, I suppose I’m not totally complacent. I’ve tried to include diversity. Even long before ‘the incident’, I tried to have this Xbox Avatar, Silvana, be a contestant. Unfortunately, Miichael and Miimi caught wind of this and snooped backstage to try to get as much dirt as they could. I tried defending it to them, but eventually Silvana just got tired and dropped out.”
Charlie thought this over, “Why are you telling me this? We barely know each other.”
Phil looked at him seriously, “Neither of us are Miis. Closely related, but I’m gradually losing faith in that. Look, despite how much he gets exposed, Matt still continues to evade meaningful punishment. If things manage to get even more extreme than it already is, I’d at least like to live in comfort. Consider this a warning.”
Party Phil finally turned away, continuing his night alone. MC Charlie, having nothing else to do here, walked out.
But looking out into the streets, Charlie remembered what Phil said about even taking one step. Matt’s touched everywhere. He shuddered, wondering if he was being watched. Surely it was just all in his head, right?
Yet all the shadows, seemed to creep where he goes. He never stopped shuddering.
