Work Text:
NEW ORDER RECEIVED
It’s the first notification Wonwoo sees on his phone when he opens his eyes for the first time at two in the afternoon. It makes no sense to him out of context, until he sees that the email is from Etsy. The previous night comes back to him suddenly.
“Oh no.”
Wonwoo opens the Etsy website, which he actually has no idea how to navigate, because someone has purchased something from his Etsy shop. He’d kind of thought that he’d hallucinated actually letting the shop go live, but apparently not.
Which is unfortunate, because Wonwoo does not have products. Wonwoo has a singular listing advertising his magical abilities, and someone has purchased it. He doubts Etsy fraud is an imprisonable crime, but he feels anxious anyway.
Wonwoo rubs the sleep from his eyes as he reads the order.
Joshua
Order Number: #7783444868
Hex Your Ex
Quantity: 1
Order notes: hiiiiii oh ym gohs i dont believe in this at ALLLLlLLLLlL but im like 4 shots de ep and i saw my ex can u kill him if not its okay maybe just mkae it rain on his stupdi date tomorrow thx xoxoxo
Tomorrow, being today, judging by the timestamp on the order form, which reads as 4:32 in the morning. This guy had been up even later than Wonwoo.
And he’s given Wonwoo two entire American dollars to deliver on a spell. He has no idea where this guy is based, but Wonwoo hopes it’s not California, considering he’s asking for rain.
Wonwoo spends the next ten minutes consulting YouTube, Reddit, and Yahoo Answers on how to deliver a digital product on Etsy. Once he figures it out, he fulfills the order, including a message in the chat box available to him, so he can speak to his customer.
WitchyWoo: hey thanks for buying :) you caught me right before i close up shop. no promises on rain but some spilled food should get the job done. good luck with your hangover!
Wonwoo presses send, and then plans to close his ridiculous Etsy shop the second he gets out of bed.
It had mostly been a joke. Wonwoo and Mingyu had been several beers deep, depressed about feeling stuck at their jobs, and with access to various free editing programs.
Mingyu had definitely been kidding when he suggested Wonwoo become an Etsy witch for extra cash to spend on Valorant skins. Wonwoo had opened Canva anyway.
It had taken at least two hours of messing around with the images for Wonwoo’s shop, and asking the Internet exactly how to start a shop in the first place, and in the end, while he wouldn’t use “pride” to describe how he felt, he’d at least created something.
“What a scam,” Mingyu had said, slumped over on Wonwoo’s desk as the alcohol pulled him into sleep.
Wonwoo definitely didn’t disagree, but it wasn’t like he’d get any customers anyway.
Wonwoo falls asleep again, his hangover overpowering his attempts to stay awake. When he blinks his eyes open again, his head is pounding, it’s dark outside, and he can’t remember when his last meal was. Wonwoo feels a bit like he’s existing outside of his body.
He also has another email from Etsy. His singular customer, Joshua, has left a review.
Review from Joshua on this product:
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
this did not work at all, but buying it made me feel better. also if you read the fine print it says no guarantee to work so you get what you pay for and that it’s being used to fund valorant skins. five out of five stars but please upload a generic spell in case i ever want to waste my money again.
Wonwoo blinks several times, wondering if he’s simply making up what the words say. It’s nice to hear that he’d been honest in his fine print, because he absolutely does not remember doing that in the middle of downing overpriced IPAs. Is he an ethical scammer? Potentially.
The review asking for more products is ridiculous, and of course, Wonwoo is going to close his shop and not upload another product. That’s definitely what he’s going to do.
Wonwoo stretches, setting his phone aside. He needs a shower, food, and definitely water. Perhaps an intervention of some sort.
But his eyes drift over to his computer anyway. Granted, it’s blurry because he hasn’t put his glasses on yet, but it’s calling to him like a siren song.
His singular customer wants more products. And Wonwoo wants more Valorant skins. He also really wants to order take-out right now because of his hangover.
He doubts this Joshua guy will even come back. Surely it can’t hurt anything to just leave the page up as a joke. And maybe another product to make his shop even sillier isn’t a bad thing.
Wonwoo sits up and grabs his glasses, and while his life needs are calling out to him in desperation, instead, he settles at his desk.
Just in case Joshua comes back.
Joshua comes back a week later.
Wonwoo is actually at work when he gets the email notification. He’s having a terrible day: he’d been screamed at by two people mad about the warranty policies on their laptop, had cut into his lunch hour helping an eighty-seven year old woman navigate her iPhone, and his boss had delegated him his least favorite task of data recovery for the week. He’d seen more people’s homemade porn than he could ever list when he transferred their data from their blue-screened laptop to another.
Joshua
Order Number: #4068031094
Generic Spell
Quantity: 1
Order notes: no way you actually uploaded another listing. here’s two more dollars for my own entertainment. use this one on a game that’s not valorant, though.
Wonwoo reads it, reads it again, then reads it a third time just to be safe.
Joshua has willingly given him money for nothing again. And he’s pretty sure Joshua is also insulting his taste in video games.
What the fuck.
Wonwoo opens Etsy and clicks into the chatbox that’s open again, but hesitates before he starts to type. Is this weird? What if this Joshua guy is an Etsy secret shopper who’s trying to out him as a scammer? Would he immediately admit in a review that it hadn’t worked? Do secret shoppers leave reviews?
Wonwoo shakes his head. He’s either over or under thinking this, but he’s too curious to resist.
WitchyWoo: what’s wrong with valorant?
There’s no immediate response, which isn’t surprising, considering it’s the middle of the work day, but Wonwoo still thinks about it a lot as he gets back to helping customers. He’s so distracted that someone has to explain to him twice that they’d spilled coffee on their laptop.
By the time he’s off the clock and able to check his phone again, he has a message from his singular customer. Tired of the emails about it, he downloads the Etsy app, which he thinks means there’s no going back now.
Joshua’s response is waiting for him.
ShuaHong: valorant just gives me bad vibes
ShuaHong: like i feel like the people who play it all scream at the girls on their team and are scared of they/them pronouns
Wonwoo can’t even be offended. Joshua had just described his random teammates from last night almost perfectly.
He doesn’t even get the chance to reply before Joshua sends another message.
ShuaHong: i suppose it could be worse, like league of legends
Wonwoo sighs.
WitchyWoo: i play that more than valorant
ShuaHong: oh
ShuaHong: wait a second
Wonwoo gets another notification a few minutes later.
Joshua
Order Number: #8605560666
Generic Spell
Quantity: 1
Order notes: manifesting better taste in video games for the seller
The laugh that comes out of Wonwoo is sudden, startled out of him. He’s sitting in his car, in silence, outside his workplace, because a guy named Joshua is buying his obviously fake product on Etsy and entertaining him. He’s literally making fun of Wonwoo, and Wonwoo is enjoying it.
His life might be a little sad.
WitchyWoo: ???
WitchyWoo: are you a gamer? what do you play?
ShuaHong: no
ShuaHong: i help my mom when she gets stuck on a level of candy crush
WitchyWoo: so why do you keep giving me money for my video games
ShuaHong: i respect the hustle and i’m coping with a breakup
ShuaHong: you have so much extra money when you’re single
ShuaHong: do not say anything comforting or i’ll report you to etsy for fraud
Wonwoo pauses, feeling something ache in his heart a little. Then he types his response.
WitchyWoo: i’m buying valorant skins, i’m not going to judge how you spend your money
ShuaHong: 👍
ShuaHong: i’ll leave a five star review again if you can get higher than my mom’s level in candy crush, she’s level 809
Wonwoo doesn’t respond because it’s been thirty minutes since his shift ended, and he’s still sitting in his car outside of his job in his stupid polo shirt. And because he wants to leave Joshua hanging a little bit, since Joshua doesn’t know that Wonwoo had a really depressing Candy Crush phase after his own breakup several months ago.
So he drives home, takes a shower, and settles at his desk. He’s meant to be logging in to play League with Jihoon, but first, he unlocks his phone and scrolls to the second page of apps, where he keeps Candy Crush by itself.
Wonwoo opens the game and takes a screenshot of his level: 2,031.
He sends it to Joshua in their chat, and then forgets about it as he joins the call to play with his friends.
Review from Joshua on this product:
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
bought this to get better at candy crush. waste of money because the seller is already the best candy crush player. five out of five stars.
Wonwoo gets his next order from Joshua at two in the morning while he’s in the middle of stealing things from Mingyu’s storage in Minecraft. Which is fair for him to do, since Mingyu had also stolen it from Chan, and Wonwoo is simply executing a rescue mission. He’s in a call with them, and he’s vaguely aware of them arguing about where to build a farm in his ear, but he’s not really listening, because his phone lights up.
The notification catches his attention right away, and Wonwoo would be embarrassed at how quickly he checks it if anyone else were in the room to see him.
Joshua
Order Number: #2761905240
Generic Spell
Quantity: 1
Order notes: literally begging to be less gay i’m so tired
The words settle into Wonwoo in a way that makes his limbs feel heavy. His own journey with his sexuality hadn’t always been the easiest, and someone choosing to share such a heavy sentiment with him makes his heart ache.
Not that Wonwoo thinks personal experience makes him qualified to offer anyone advice or comfort, but the urge is there anyway. He’s vaguely aware of chaos happening on his monitor: Mingyu and Chan are both online now and seem to be unintentionally beating Wonwoo’s character to death while trying to fight each other. He doesn’t really care about that right now, though.
Instead, he clicks into his chat with Joshua.
WitchyWoo: hey, everything okay?
Joshua, predictably, doesn’t immediately answer his Etsy chat messages, so Wonwoo has a bit longer to think. He starts typing again.
WitchyWoo: i know that it can be hard sometimes but you don’t need to want to change anything about yourself. other people are the problem, not you. like i know my spells are bullshit but yeah, even if they worked, i wouldn’t do that for you because there’s nothing wrong with you.
Wonwoo considers typing more, but Joshua responds before he can.
ShuaHong: what the fuck are you talking about
ShuaHong: OH MY ORDER
ShuaHong: lmao omg sorry i didn’t mean it in a serious way, i just hooked up with this guy while i was kinda drunk and when i saw him the next day he was not cute and i just think if i was slightly less gay i’d be pickier when i’m sad
WitchyWoo: oh
ShuaHong: yeah, just regular breakup sad, not like… internalized homophobia sad
ShuaHong: your advice come from personal experience? 👀
Wonwoo sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. His cheeks are burning with embarrassment, even though only Joshua is a witness to this.
WitchyWoo: i wouldn’t say from experience but from being queer, yeah
ShuaHong: well are YOU cute?
The question catches him so off guard that Wonwoo drops his phone, the sound of it falling onto his desk loud enough to be caught by his microphone. He’d forgotten he’s on a call until he hears Chan’s voice in his ear.
“Wonwoo, you good?”
Wonwoo clears his throat. “Yeah, I just dropped my phone. I’m getting pretty tired, honestly. I might hop off for the night.”
“Aww, alright. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” Wonwoo replies hurriedly, disconnecting from the call as he picks his phone back up.
Joshua wants to know if he’s cute. Wonwoo isn’t sure he can give an objective response to that. He knows he’s got height going for him, and he does take care of himself, but it’s not like he has any concept of what Joshua thinks is cute. He also has no idea if Joshua is cute.
WitchyWoo: i don’t know, are you?
Wonwoo instantly locks his screen and pushes his chair back from his desk, staring at his phone as if it had typed the message for him. Part of him wants to hop back on the voice call and ask his friends if this is as insane as it feels, while the other part of him hopes he dies with this secret. Preferably within the next few minutes.
His phone buzzes. Wonwoo thinks maybe he should ignore it and deactivate his Etsy account. Instead, he picks up his phone to read the response.
ShuaHong: i asked you first
ShuaHong: you have my email from my orders, right? send a pic
Wonwoo definitely shouldn’t do that. He can’t even remember the last time he took a selfie. Not that it matters, because he’s not going to do that.
But also, surely it wouldn’t hurt to just open his front-facing camera and see if he looks any good right now. Which he does, and he blinks his eyes into focus to take in his own appearance. He supposes there’s nothing to be unhappy about. His dark circles are mostly hidden by the frame of his glasses, and he’s only had his headset on for an hour, so he doesn’t have a dent in his hair yet.
Wonwoo holds up a thumbs up, smiles without teeth, and takes the picture.
So it’s already insane enough that he’s taken the picture at all. If he’s going down this road, Wonwoo may as well fully commit to the bit, so to speak.
He finds Joshua’s email in his order history and opens his own email.
To: [email protected]
From: [email protected]Subject: hi, i guess
this is kind of insane. but here you go.
Wonwoo attaches the photo and presses send before he can talk himself out of it. He kind of immediately regrets it, but there’s nothing to be done about it now.
He’s not sure where Joshua will respond, or if he’ll respond at all, but luckily, his best and only customer doesn’t make him wait long to find out.
From: [email protected]
Subject: RE: hi, i guess
definitely cute. my number is in my email signature.
Wonwoo is a little too stunned to process what exactly Joshua is saying to him. He’s even more stunned when he gets a notification of yet another order.
Joshua
Order Number: #3197427098
Generic Spell
Quantity: 1
Order notes: manifestation spell that the seller texts me
So Wonwoo might be a bit slow on the uptake here, but he doesn’t really think it gets any clearer than that. He finds Joshua’s number in his email signature and makes himself send a text without thinking too hard about it. This has to be the most ridiculous thing he’s ever done.
wonwoo
hey, it’s wonwoo
wonwoo
i realized i’m not sure if you know my full first name
joshua
it’s in your email
wonwoo
oh yeah
joshua
here you go by the way
Joshua sends a selfie next, and Wonwoo’s jaw actually drops. Apparently, the customer who’s been knowingly and happily purchasing his scam products is drop-dead gorgeous. The area code of his phone number tells Wonwoo that Joshua is in California as well, but even without that hint, he thinks he could figure it out. He thinks Joshua wears California as part of his appearance, his soft, smug smile proving he knows just how pretty he is, with a sort of humility to his gaze.
wonwoo
you’re really pretty
joshua
thanks 🙂 what part of california are you?
wonwoo
LA
joshua
nice, me too
joshua
i’m going to keep buying your scam product btw
wonwoo
😭 why??
joshua
it’s funny to me. how did that even get started??
wonwoo
my friend mingyu suggested it as a joke when we were drunk and here we are
joshua
and i bought it as a joke when i was drunk
joshua
kinda meant to be
joshua
it’s late though, i’ll let you get back to your video games
wonwoo
how did you know i was playing video games?
joshua
be serious
joshua
goodnight wonwoo
wonwoo
goodnight joshua
Wonwoo has no plans to get back online to continue playing with his friends. He’s not sure he could possibly think about anything else right now, too focused on the knowledge that his Etsy customer is hot and also into men.
And also they text now. Wonwoo isn’t the type to make assumptions, but it feels like this progression is a very obvious move from point A to point B.
He just hopes he doesn’t mess it all up along the way.
Joshua
Order Number: #9924817813
Generic Spell
Quantity: 1
Order notes: trying to get a good morning text from an etsy witch
Wonwoo is on his second cup of coffee and into the fourth hour of his eight-hour shift when he gets the email from Joshua’s new order. The shop is slow today, he’s just watching over a data transfer while doomscrolling on his phone.
He opens his texts with Joshua, intending to ask the obvious: why not just text good morning himself?
Wonwoo’s been overthinking Joshua’s shenanigans, though. He wonders what it could be like if he stopped questioning every single ridiculous thing Joshua chooses to do and just strapped himself in for the ride.
wonwoo
good morning
joshua
🥰 good morning witchy woo
joshua
what are you up to at 10 AM on a tuesday
wonwoo
i’m at work, what about you?
joshua
same, but it’s slow today. what do you do for work?
Wonwoo feels his cheeks heat up, that sort of embarrassment he gets when he sees other people his age with careers and jobs that feel like something actual adults should be doing. He doesn’t really know why Joshua’s opinion matters to him either, but he won’t lie.
wonwoo
i work at a small tech repair shop
wonwoo
you?
joshua
similar vibes, different products
joshua
i work at a music store, like renting instruments, kids can take lessons, repairs, that sort of stuff
Wonwoo personally thinks that’s infinitely cooler, but something in him settles at the knowledge that Joshua seems to be a pretty regular guy just like him. Well, excluding the running bit where he keeps willingly giving Wonwoo money for a scam. And he’s certainly not judging Joshua for that either, considering Wonwoo is the creator of the scam.
wonwoo
that sounds way cooler than what i do
joshua
have you ever heard a 9 year old play the trumpet?
wonwoo
okay point taken
joshua
my purchase today is meant to be recurring by the way
joshua
so make sure you follow through or i’ll report you to etsy for scamming
wonwoo
and what i’m doing now isn’t scamming to you?
joshua
no, i’m your only customer and i’m getting exactly what i want
joshua
have a good day at work, wonwoo
Wonwoo doesn’t bother asking Joshua to clarify what it is that he wants. He doubts he’d get a straightforward answer, anyway.
Joshua
Order Number: #5178841990
Generic Spell
Quantity: 1
Order notes: another selfie please
Wonwoo doesn’t even bother having an internal crisis about it. He just pauses his attempts to clean up the mess Mingyu and Chan have made of their Minecraft house to take a selfie, gaming headset on and all. He texts it to Joshua and gets a response just a few minutes later.
joshua
i hate that your gamer boy thing does it for me
joshua
do you have enough for the valorant stuff you wanted to buy yet
wonwoo
what does THAT mean
wonwoo
almost, but i have time because the one i want probably won’t be back in the shop for a bit
joshua
it means i think you’re hot
joshua
whatever that means, please know i’m genuinely rooting for you
joshua
here’s what i did today
Joshua sends a photo in return. While the first photo he’d sent to Wonwoo had mostly been cute, this one is a much different environment than the up-close selfie from before.
Apparently, Joshua went surfing today. In the photo, his hair is wet and pushed back off his forehead, he’s smiling brightly, and he’s glowing and tan in the California sun. He’s wearing a rash guard, but that doesn’t hide the shape of his upper body, which Wonwoo’s eyes trace greedily. It’s worse when he sees Joshua’s thighs, muscular and exposed in his board shorts.
Joshua texts him again.
joshua
i’m assuming you’re gaming tonight
joshua
have fun :)
Wonwoo types and deletes several things: are you flirting with me, do you know how gorgeous you are, are you buying scam products from other Etsy witches or am I special?
That last one makes him cringe at himself.
Finally, Wonwoo settles on a message.
wonwoo
i do have gaming plans but i can cancel them to talk to you instead
Surprised by his own boldness, Wonwoo means it, too. Joshua doesn’t make him wait long for a response, thankfully.
joshua
no, that’s okay, have fun
joshua
just knowing you would is plenty for now
Wonwoo may have just met Joshua, if he can even call it that, but he thinks he already knows the other well enough to recognize the for now for what it is: a promise for later.
Joshua
Order Number: #0884552426
Generic Spell
Quantity: 1
Order notes: call me
The timestamp on Joshua’s latest order is from a few hours ago; Wonwoo is only just now waking up on his day off. He’s not sure if he’s meant to call Joshua right away or text him first to see if he’s available.
He decides to just call, figuring Joshua wouldn’t commit to this particular bit if he was at risk of being too busy to answer.
His hunch was correct because Joshua does pick up on the second ring.
“Hi, Wonwoo,” Joshua says, and the feeling of hearing his voice hits Wonwoo harder than he expected. It’s a nice voice; warm, and somehow exactly what he was expecting. It soothes the nerves coursing through him.
“Hi, Joshua,” Wonwoo responds, voice a bit hoarse. “Sorry, I just woke up.”
“It’s okay, I figured. Is your voice always this deep or just in the mornings?”
Wonwoo considers that. “Uh, a little bit of both, I think.”
Joshua hums, and it reverberates in Wonwoo’s ear in a way that makes him shiver a little. “I like it. I didn’t expect you to sound like that.”
“What did you expect?”
“Annoying,” Joshua answers easily. “This is nice. You sound warm.”
Wonwoo doesn’t know what to do with that. He doesn’t know what to do with any of it, really. Joshua is forward in a way that doesn’t make him uncomfortable, but that’s unfamiliar. Wonwoo wants to keep it, and he’s realizing that rather suddenly.
“Thanks. You sound… very Californian.”
Joshua laughs, suddenly and brightly. Wonwoo has the urge to know what he looks like when he laughs. “And I guess you don’t.”
They fall into a silence that surprises Wonwoo in its comfortability. Everything that involves Joshua surprises him.
“Well, don’t let me keep you,” Joshua says after a stretch of time. “I’m sure you have things to do, so you can start your day.”
“Oh,” Wonwoo says, trying and failing not to sound disappointed. “Well, I guess I’ll text you later then.”
“What? No, I meant we can stay on the phone while you do those things. Don’t be ridiculous.”
Wonwoo thinks Joshua telling him not to be ridiculous is humorously hypocritical, but he doesn’t say that. If he speaks, he’s certain Joshua will be able to hear in his voice just how wide he’s smiling.
Once he feels like he can answer like a normal person, Wonwoo clears his throat. “Okay, my bad. Alright, getting up then.”
And maybe it should be awkward, but as Wonwoo goes about his day, Joshua is just sort of there on the other end of the line.
Sometimes they talk: once Wonwoo makes breakfast, Joshua asks him about his competence in the kitchen (perfectly fine) and admits his own (good because his mother would kill him if not), and they eat together, in their own way.
Sometimes they don’t talk: Wonwoo confesses that he usually likes to listen to music on his phone while he showers, so Joshua holds his own phone up to his computer speakers. The quality is terrible, and Joshua decides to play him video game soundtracks from games he doesn’t even know, and Wonwoo still can’t stop smiling the whole time.
“Is today your day off?” Joshua asks him after a long stretch of silence, once Wonwoo is showered and dressed, settling at his desk.
“One of them, yes. Are you off?”
Joshua sighs. “No, not today. I normally am, but a coworker is sick, so I’m covering for them.” He sounds further away from the phone, and Wonwoo assumes he’s starting to get ready for his work day.
Wonwoo considers something while he’s feeling brave from being on the phone. “You know you don’t have to keep placing orders to get me to talk to you, right? We can just talk anytime.”
“Is the cosmetic you want covered by my purchases yet?”
Wonwoo sighs, lips twitching in amusement. “I can afford it, Joshua.”
“Don’t care. I’ll stop when you can buy… whatever it is. What is it?”
“It’s a knife for my character to carry.”
The silence that follows feels like an eternity.
“...Okay. How much do those cost?” Joshua finally says.
“The one I want is about fifty bucks,” Wonwoo answers, trying and failing to sound like that doesn’t embarrass him.
Joshua is silent for another long stretch of time. Wonwoo wonders if maybe he’s deciding to cut his losses and run away from the Etsy scammer before he gets in even deeper.
Instead, Joshua says, “Then I have to keep giving you money, obviously.”
Wonwoo has a very strong feeling that Joshua wouldn’t listen to any arguments he could come up with. Something else unsettles him though: the idea of having enough, and Joshua not talking to him anymore.
“And when I have enough?”
Wonwoo can hear the smile in Joshua’s voice when he answers.
“It’ll be a good thing we have each other’s numbers when we get to that point.
Joshua
Order Number: #7427979204
Generic Spell
Quantity: 1
Order notes: just because. i think we’re at 18 dollars now.
Joshua
Order Number: #5273204566
Generic Spell
Quantity: 1
Order notes: your instagram handle. happy twenty bucks.
Wonwoo is well beyond asking questions anymore. He just texts Joshua his username with no context, and he gets Joshua’s follow notification a few moments later.
Wonwoo looks at his own account and tries to see it through Joshua’s eyes. His Instagram isn’t very selfie-heavy, but he thinks his feed is quite nice. He has a nice camera simply as a hobby, and the pictures he’s taken with it are what he features the most: scenery from going on hikes with Mingyu, his trips to watch professional gaming championships with Chan, and lots of Korea when he makes the trip to see his extended family.
Wonwoo thinks that maybe it makes him look at least a little interesting. He just hopes Joshua feels the same way.
He doesn’t get the chance to deep dive into Joshua’s profile in return after he returns the follow, instead distracted by another notification, this time for a comment from someone he doesn’t know, on one of his few posted selfies.
@booseungkwan: oh my god @chwehansol come here i found him
Before Wonwoo can really figure out what exactly that means, this Chwe Hansol guy is replying.
@chwehansol: @booseungkwan 👀
Wonwoo doesn’t really get followers or comments on Instagram, mostly because he’s pretty chronically offline. However, clicking on the profiles of the two people now starting to debate his level of cuteness (Seungkwan thinks he’s cute, Hansol doesn’t have a strong opinion), he can see that they have a follower in common: Joshua.
wonwoo
are these your friends in my comment section?
joshua
yeah
joshua
i finally caved and told them your name and seungkwan found you in my following immediately
joshua
they’ll def be annoying but you seem to handle me fine
wonwoo
there’s nothing to handle
wonwoo
you’re unpredictable, not annoying
joshua
that’s so romantic
Wonwoo rolls his eyes, smiling, before going back to checking out Joshua’s profile. He doesn’t really have expectations, and yet Joshua’s feed still manages to surprise him. There are a lot of photos of himself, but plenty of posts about his day-to-day life as well. He has several posts with a woman whom Wonwoo can tell is his mother, tons with his friends, and his comment section always seems to be filled.
Wonwoo feels something warm in his chest when he looks at it. Many people love Joshua, and Wonwoo truly understands why.
A comment on one of Joshua’s selfies from roughly a month ago catches his eye.
@booseungkwan: YOU’RE SO HOT HE DIDN’T DESERVE YOU
The validity of Joshua being really hot aside, it suddenly reminds Wonwoo of how he and Joshua had come to know each other in the first place: Joshua had gone through a break-up.
He returns to their text messages, typing before he can talk himself out of it.
wonwoo
you remember how you were sad when you first found my etsy page?
joshua
yeah i do
wonwoo
how do you feel now?
It’s a loaded question, and he knows it, so Wonwoo watches with anticipation churning in his stomach as the three little dots that indicate Joshua is typing appear and disappear over and over again.
Finally, Joshua responds.
joshua
i haven’t felt sad much at all these days
The answer is just as poignant as the question, and Wonwoo cherishes it.
wonwoo
good
Joshua just reacts to his message with a heart, but Wonwoo understands.
joshua
my etsy account got banned
Wonwoo is lying in bed, doomscrolling at two in the morning and unsuccessfully trying to sleep when he gets Joshua’s text.
wonwoo
???
wonwoo
what did you do 😭
joshua
i asked for a nude
Wonwoo doesn’t have his glasses on, but he’s certain he’s read that correctly. And maybe he should be surprised, but somehow, the only part that surprises him is:
wonwoo
you asked on etsy instead of just texting me??
joshua
so is that a yes? i’ll venmo you since my order didn’t go through
wonwoo
you’re offering to pay me for a nude?
joshua
sex work is real work, wonwoo
Wonwoo rubs a hand over his face, wide awake now.
wonwoo
just stop giving me money, i can afford the valorant knife
joshua
aw ok
joshua
i can go first if you’re shy
Wonwoo might be an Etsy scammer, but he’s not dumb. He’s learning very quickly to just follow Joshua’s lead instead of overthinking and fumbling something dropped right into his lap.
wonwoo
i’m not shy but go first anyway
joshua
damn, ok, one second
A terrible, delicious anticipation churns in Wonwoo’s gut while he waits. As always, Joshua doesn’t make him wait long.
The image comes through, and Wonwoo indulges himself in exactly two seconds of wondering if this is something he should be doing before clicking the notification.
His mouth goes dry.
It’s not like Wonwoo has been unaware that Joshua is ridiculously attractive. It’s just that this is way more Joshua than he’s seen before. He’d already had a general idea of what Joshua’s body is like from the photo of him surfing, but it still doesn’t prepare him for what fills his screen now:
Joshua, shirtless, face out of frame aside from his lips, where he bites at his own bottom lip in a way that sends a shudder through Wonwoo’s whole body. The angle allows Wonwoo to see the way Joshua grips his own hard cock over the fabric of his briefs.
Wonwoo feels a sweltering sort of heat all over, eager to get out of his own clothes just for relief. He puts on his glasses just so that he can take in every detail of Joshua, where he sets his phone on the blanket beside him, sitting up to peel off his own shirt. He leaves his sweats on but pushes them down his thighs, so that when he falls back into his pillows, he’s essentially in just his briefs like Joshua.
He doesn’t actually have a lot of significant sexting experience. But he does frequent the gym to make up for his otherwise extremely sedentary lifestyle, and so he thinks he can probably just let his body do most of the work. He snaps a photo with similar framing to Joshua’s, his half-hard cock visible through the fabric of his briefs.
Once he sends it, Wonwoo actually has no idea what comes next, so he really hopes Joshua continues to steer them here.
joshua
you’re so hot
joshua
i can’t believe an etsy scamming gamer is so hot
joshua
i want to see your dick
joshua
i want to know what i’m dreaming about having in my mouth
Holy shit.
Wonwoo doesn’t respond, instead just opting to pull his cock free from his briefs. It’s dry, but the thought of stroking himself to full hardness for Joshua’s sake pulls a groan out of him, and soon enough, precum that makes the slide better. He doesn’t stop working himself to take the photo, letting the movement of his hand make it slightly blurry.
He sends it to Joshua. While he waits for a reply, he doesn’t stop touching himself, breath falling past his lips raggedly.
joshua
i want that in me
joshua
in my mouth
joshua
fuck
Truthfully, it’s been a long time for Wonwoo since he’d last had sex. Just this is enough to have him feeling almost painfully hot in his own hand. Even just the thought of being inside of Joshua makes him groan, fucking into his own fist with enough determination that he nearly forgets that he needs to text Joshua back.
wonwoo
i would give you anything you wanted i think
wonwoo
this is so hard with one hand
Joshua must agree, because Wonwoo’s phone starts ringing almost immediately.
Wonwoo answers, and he’s immediately met with the sound of Joshua’s breathing and the distant slide of a slick hand sliding over a cock. It’s so sexy that Wonwoo groans immediately, not bothering to say any sort of proper greeting, instead just twisting his wrist as he strokes himself.
“You’re kind of crazy,” Wonwoo gasps out, eyes closing as he picks up the speed of his hand.
“And you go—fuck—along with it, so what does that say about you?” Joshua counters, voice low and fucked out. And Wonwoo supposes that’s a good point.
Wonwoo feels a bit like he’s wading through deep water as he tries to find words in his brain. It’s hard to think of anything to say when all he can hear right now are the sounds of Joshua stroking his own cock, and his labored breathing.
“I want to take you on a date,” Wonwoo says suddenly, the words coming out of his mouth being what makes him realize it’s true in the first place.
Joshua laughs, bright and clear through the phone, before his breathing hitches as something he does clearly makes him feel good. Wonwoo wishes he could see.
“You’re asking now? While we’re jerking off on the phone?”
Wonwoo thinks that’s a bit hypocritical, considering Joshua’s behavior, but he twists his wrist just right and chokes on the thought, eyes falling shut.
“As good a time as any, I think. Talk to me. Tell me what you’re doing.”
“You don’t know?”
“Joshua.”
Joshua sighs, but the sound is shaky, and Wonwoo knows he certainly has to be affected, even if neither of them can seem to be serious for too long.
“I was just thinking about you,” Joshua admits, low and breathy. Wonwoo’s cock twitches in his hand. “I couldn’t sleep, and I thought about what it would be like to have you all over me. Your hands, your lips.”
Wonwoo is impressed by Joshua’s coherence despite everything. His own thoughts are a bit more primitive at the moment. But he tries to string together words in the correct order.
“I want to fuck you.”
Which is probably as good as it’s going to get. Joshua laughs anyway, before cutting off into a groan.
“You can. Right now. Finger me open so I can take your ridiculous cock.”
Wonwoo isn’t really sure what makes his dick ridiculous, but he doesn’t question it, not when Joshua’s words have the heat in his gut reaching a boiling point. He’s going to come soon, just from one photo and Joshua talking dirty in his ear.
“I want to see you,” Wonwoo says suddenly, the sound of Joshua pumping his fist over his cock not enough. “Let me see.”
The line instantly goes dead in Wonwoo’s ear. He doesn’t stop, though, and his patience and willingness to go along with whatever Joshua does pays off when he gets a video sent to him.
Wonwoo presses play immediately.
Joshua’s cock fills the screen immediately, his hands wrapped around it and pumping himself almost desperately. Wonwoo can hear him gasping and whining with pleasure even if he can’t see Joshua’s face.
“Fuck, Wonwoo,” Joshua moans.
The tension in Wonwoo snaps. He fumbles desperately to open his camera app as he starts to come, managing to press record as his release spills onto his stomach, over his hand, whimpers of Joshua’s name falling past his lips as he fucks up into his fist to ride it out.
He’s breathing hard when he finishes, only stopping when he feels oversensitive, and he gets that on video too, the whine he lets out surely audible. He sends it to Joshua, hoping it’s not blurry but too fucked out to care.
Joshua replies with a photo less than a minute later. There’s cum on his stomach and hand, cock still hard in his hand, a pretty arch to his back. Wonwoo has no idea how Joshua takes such good photos of himself. If he has a lot of practice, he hopes that from now on Joshua only sends him the fruits of his labor.
wonwoo
that was crazy
joshua
everything about us is crazy
Something about that makes Wonwoo smile, setting his phone down to grab tissues from his nightstand and clean himself just enough so he can get out of bed and change. Joshua texts him again before he can get up.
joshua
so about that date
wonwoo
whenever and wherever you want to go
joshua
i’ll get back to you, it’s late
joshua
sweet dreams, witchy woo
Wonwoo sets his phone aside to get up and finish cleaning himself before crawling right back into bed. He expects to lie awake for a good while, too keyed up from what they’d just done to sleep. Instead, he’s asleep the second he closes his eyes, not even enough time to start considering date options.
They decide to go see a movie for their first date. Well, Joshua does. He laments to Wonwoo that he’s three days behind getting to see the Wicked sequel, and he’s getting stressed out dodging spoilers from his two friends who keep ending up in Wonwoo’s Instagram comments.
“Seungkwan is going to ruin it for me any day now. This is our only option,” Joshua had told Wonwoo, trying to convince him, as if Wonwoo wasn’t already on the website buying their tickets.
So that brings Wonwoo here, waiting for Joshua outside the movie theater. It almost makes him nervous that he doesn’t feel nervous. But the combination of how much he’s gotten used to Joshua’s unpredictability and the fact that they’ve already seen each other’s dicks does a pretty good job of keeping him from getting nervous.
“Hey!” Wonwoo hears from behind him, and the familiar voice makes him smile as he turns.
Joshua is there, and he’s smiling back.
“Hey,” Wonwoo responds, unsure what to do, which is why his hands are in his pockets. As always, Joshua takes care of it for him, holding out his hand. Wonwoo accepts it with a flush to his cheeks.
“Come on, we can’t be late. Also, don’t even try to make out with me in there, I’m not missing a single second of this.”
The lack of fanfare for their first meeting is almost comforting, calming whatever nerves had been bothering him. Wonwoo supposes it’s better this way. They’d already met so unconventionally, and Joshua had surprised him so many times, that doing something so normal like going to a movie together just feels right.
“Do you want snacks?” Wonwoo asks once they’re inside, and Joshua, still tugging him toward the theater, is an answer in itself.
“Nope, that line is ridiculous. I want to find our seats.”
Wonwoo smiles. “You know our seats are reserved, right?”
Joshua throws a glance at him over his shoulder. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
And while there’s still a lot about Joshua that Wonwoo has to learn, one thing he’s known since day one is that it’s useless to argue with him.
Joshua stays true to his word about focusing on the movie, not that Wonwoo had planned to try anything anyway. Despite his boldness on the phone with just the two of them, he’s still quite a shy person. He’s happy to just let Joshua hold onto his hand, smiling softly every time Joshua gasps beside him. He pulls out a tissue for Joshua when he starts crying toward the end, and then another for himself when he’s also not immune to the emotions of the movie. And he hadn’t even seen the first Wicked.
Wonwoo can’t help but lean over as the credits start, though, whispering in Joshua’s ear, “I’m starting to think you’ve got some sort of thing for witches.” It makes Joshua blush, enough so that Wonwoo can see it in the dim theater lighting as people start moving to leave.
So he’s not entirely impenetrable. That’s good to know.
It isn’t until they’re leaving the theater that it really sinks in for Wonwoo: they’re walking to their separate cars, hand-in-hand, and Joshua is going on about how he felt about each tiny detail of the movie.
Wonwoo tugs them both to a stop on the sidewalk outside, blinking at Joshua as if he’s only just noticed he’s there.
“Are you okay?” Joshua asks, sounding amused.
“We’re on a date right now,” Wonwoo responds, dumbfounded.
Joshua nods, encouragingly. “Yeah. We also showed each other our dicks.”
Wonwoo chokes on nothing. “You had to bring that of all things up?”
Joshua shrugs. “Well, I thought we were listing things we’ve done, and you already took the date.”
Wonwoo sighs, the sound morphing into laughter. What a ridiculous person Joshua is, and how wonderful it is that he’d found Wonwoo of all people on his search to do anything to feel better.
“You’re very unserious. Can’t you just allow me to be amazed that we’re here after we met on Etsy of all places?”
Joshua’s smile softens. “Not just that, but we met because you’re an Etsy scammer.”
Wonwoo uses the hand still holding Joshua’s to pull him into a kiss, and judging by the little squeak that comes out of the other, he thinks he’s finally managed to be the one to catch Joshua off guard.
Joshua is still smiling, even now as their lips move together, and it makes Wonwoo smile too. Objectively, it’s not an incredible kiss, with both of them smiling and Wonwoo overcompensating in how far he’d tilted his head down for their minuscule height difference, yet it’s still sort of perfect regardless.
When they break apart, Wonwoo blinks open his eyes and is met with the fact that Joshua still hasn’t stopped smiling. Considering they’d first met because Joshua had been sad over his ex, Wonwoo feels pretty proud of himself.
“You were right, I think,” Joshua says.
Wonwoo’s brow furrows in confusion. “About what?”
“I definitely have a thing for witches.”
Joshua laughs too hard at his own joke while Wonwoo rolls his eyes, impossibly fond.
“Hey, check your Etsy orders,” Joshua says from behind Wonwoo a few weeks later. He’s lounging on Wonwoo’s bed, scrolling on his phone, while Wonwoo is attempting to clean up the mess from the third turf war Mingyu and Chan have had in Minecraft this week.
Wonwoo glances behind him, pulling one side of his headset away from his ear. “I thought you got banned for solicitation.”
Joshua waves a dismissive hand. “Just check.”
So Wonwoo does.
Joshua
Order Number: #6987337912
Generic Spell
Quantity: 15
Order notes: this should be enough for your virtual knife thing. also ask me out for real, coward.
Wonwoo squints at the order as if he doesn’t believe it’s real. “You made a new Etsy account just for this?”
“Yeah, look at the username.”
Wonwoo does, and immediately rolls his eyes, taking his headset off completely now so he can turn and face Joshua. “Shua Hung? Really?”
Joshua raises an eyebrow. “Are you disagreeing?”
The ache in Wonwoo’s jaw from when he’d gotten on his knees the moment Joshua walked through his front door earlier certainly doesn’t disagree.
“Also, why are you so insistent on buying me my Valorant knife?” Wonwoo asks, getting to his feet with a smile. Joshua sets his phone aside, scooting over to make room for Wonwoo.
“It’s called committing to the bit; you should try it.”
Wonwoo joins Joshua on the bed, settling between his legs, draping his body over him. He props himself up on his elbows so he can look down at Joshua. He’s so pretty it overwhelms Wonwoo sometimes.
“I am committed to the bit, as a real and completely legitimate Etsy witch. I can prove it.”
Joshua tilts his head, grinning. “Yeah? How?”
“Will you be my boyfriend?”
Joshua bites at his lower lip, as if pondering. “Well, I guess since it turns out your spells work, I have no choice but to say yes.”
Wonwoo kisses him for that, slow and deep, with wandering hands that cling onto something tangible that he’d found in something so ridiculous.
It’s cheesy, maybe, but as Joshua threads his fingers through Wonwoo’s hair and deepens the kiss, Wonwoo can’t help what he’s thinking:
It feels like magic.