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Shovels clank in the back of the 1989 Dodge Caravan, adding another layer of sound on top of the death metal that blasts from the car’s speakers. Mary turns the music louder, their other hand gripping the wheel as he drives down the empty road.
”This is the best song on the fucking album!” they shout over the noise as Burning In Hell by Possessed begins to play. The CD is so well-worn that it stutters occasionally, but that doesn’t stop Mary from being as hyped up about it as he always is.
You feel their hand dropping to rest on your thigh as you sit in the passenger seat, watching the rural scenery rush by, and you can’t help but smile at their enthusiasm.
Then, a cloud of smoke appears from the backseat: ”Are you serious? Everyone know’s that it’s The Exorcist!” Tom exclaims and leans forward between the front seats, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. Mary meets the blonde’s eyes through the rear-view mirror, shooting him an unimpressed glare.
”They don’t know shit. C’mon, give me a hit, Bones.”
Tom rolls his eyes, but reaches his hand out to place the cigarette on Mary’s lips, letting them take a long drag. You watch how the smoke escapes from between his lips, and despite it being a sight you’ve seen many times before, it never fails to make you a little weak in the knees.
Now, it’s not your first time grave robbing with those two nutjobs, but the place is new: an abandoned cemetery somewhere in the outskirts of town. Mary and Tom had heard about it only recently and they decided to check it out – with you, of course.
But this time you're slightly on edge: even just the thought of an abandoned graveyard makes you feel more nervous than you’d like to admit, so you try your best to push those thoughts of haunted graves and ghosts aside.
”So, do you guys know anything about this place?” you clear up your throat, watching as Tom rolls down the window to throw out the cigarette butt.
”Oh yeah, there’s a mass grave from, like, the 1700s or something. People died of plague and they dumped ’em all in one hole! How fucking insane is that?” he informs you excitedly and opens up a can of beer. It splashes everywhere, adding just another stain to the musty, old fabrics of the seats.
Oh, great. A plague pit, you think to yourself. Not creepy at all.
”Don’t forget about the priest, Blondie. That fucker is buried there somewhere. Gotta piss on his grave if we find it,” Mary snorts, earning a chuckle from Tom. You, on the other hand, groan:
”Gosh, you’re disgusting.”
But Mary’s smile just grows into a full on grin and he glances at you, noticing the hint of amusement on your face, even though you’re feigning annoyance. They decide to play along to this game of teasing, sliding their hand to your inner thigh and giving it a firm squeeze as they quip: ”And yet you still keep me around, or dare I say, love me.”
”Yeah, yeah, just focus on driving, dumsnut,” you mutter as a bashful grin spreads on your lips, the kind that Mary counts as a victory, so he just turns his attention back to the road, clearly pleased with himself.
The drive takes a while, but soon the car turns to a dirt road, the headlights cutting through the dark to reveal an old stone wall in the distance. You feel a shiver run down your spine as Mary drives closer, parking the car right next to the rusty cemetery gates. He kills the engine and steps out into the crisp autumn night.
”Home sweet home,” he muses, the smell of spruces hitting him instantly as they tower over the graveyard, framing the area with their dark, gloomy silhouettes. You and Tom follow suite, setting foot on the wet ground.
Tom wolf-whistles at the sight: the graveyard has been reclaimed by nature, moss covering up the names on the gravestones and plants climbing up the walls of the weathered, crumbling chapel.
It’s clear that no one has stepped foot in here for decades, and the cemetery has been left to rest in peace, completely unbothered – except for the wild animals that have made it their home. A crow greets the three of you with a chilling croak as it sits there on the gate, staring at you ominously.
Mary walks around to the back of the van, completely unfazed by the view, gesturing for you and Tom to join him and grab the supplies. There’s a shovel for each one of you and a couple flashlights, and soon you’re all ready to desecrate the holy ground.
”Jesus fucking Christ… sweet,” Tom breathes out as he takes a step away from the car, slowly making his way closer to the stone wall that surrounds the cemetery. Dirt crunches under Mary’s boots as they follow suit, their long hair swaying as they turn to look at you over their shoulder.
”Too eerie for ya?” he teases you with a smirk as you stay put, but you just flip him off and join the two despite feeling awfully creeped out by this place.
”Jävla idiot,” you mutter under your breath, but Mary just chuckles and places their hand on the small of your back. ”Just relax, the dead aren’t gonna hurt ya,” they murmur, leaning in to give a quick peck on your temple.
You all enter the graveyard, slowly stepping into the sea of crooked, old gravestones. Dead leaves and overgrown weeds cover the pathway that leads you deeper into the darkness of the cemetary and its deafening silence.
The three of you look around in morbid curiosity, reading the names on the tombs and picturing who the deceased once were: some were young when they died, some tombs are completely missing a name, and some stones were clearly more expensive than others.
But one thing stays the same: no matter who they were, they all ended up here to rot, and that’s a thought that Mary finds especially beautiful.
In fact, he looks at home as he wanders the holy ground, keeping a hand on your back as you walk beside him. And unlike popular belief, Mary doesn’t rob graves just for shits and giggles, no: they actually have a meaning behind it. It’s a way of keeping the memory of the people alive, they always say.
Now Tom, the hyperactive bastard he is, walks a couple steps ahead of Mary and you. He kneels in front of graves that pique his interest – ones that look especially haunted and weathered – and he inspects them, only to stand up and continue his search for the mass grave.
He’s looking for treasures, maybe something that he could sell to buy more cigarettes or weed. Altough, sometimes he ends up taking the findings back home, just to make his space more jättekul, as he says it.
The cemerary is rather small, so it doesn’t take long for him to finally find what he’s looking for: there, right at the far back, stands a large tombstone. Tom rushes to it as he sees it, his blonde locks swishing wildly.
”Fucking found it – the plague pit!” he announces triumphally, shining the flashlight on the names carved to the stone. ”We’re gonna find some cursed corpses here, guys!”
”You do realize that there’s only skeletons there, right?” Mary snorts as they reach the mass grave with you, their hand snaking around your waist in subtle reassurance.
Tom’s face visibly drops: ”Oh, you’re right… well, even just cursed skeletons are cool as fuck!”
”Sure, sure. Now, let’s get digging. We’ve got friends to make from beyond the grave.”
Dirt begins to get tossed to the side as you all start digging, shovels hitting the cold ground with determination. It’s not an easy job, by all means, but the adrenaline and curiosity keeps all of you going.
Mary’s in their element, completely focused on the task at hand, unlike Tom who just seems eager to get to the price. He huffs and puffs dramatically, which results in Mary throwing a pile of dirt his way.
”Oi! Vad fan?!” the blonde shrieks as he tries to dodge the dirt, but it lands on his face and battle vest. Tom’s expression turns to one of betrayal, causing Mary to snicker while you let out an amused huff of laughter – there they go again.
”Quit it with the moaning,” Mary quips and swipes a lock of brown hair away from their sweaty forehead.
”But I thought you liked it when I moan, min käraste,” Tom teases, grinning like an idiot before more dirt flies his way. Soon the two are engulfed in a battle of throwing mud and soil to each others faces, and you watch the scene unfold with enjoyment, letting them bicker all they want while you continue your search.
Then, suddenly, your shovel hits something hard, and the feeling of fear gets overpowered by excitement.
”Bingo!” you exclaim, causing Tom and Mary to freeze and turn their heads to you. ”There’s something peaking out down there,” you mumble with a focused gaze. Mary grabs the flashlight from the pocket of his jeans, and the light of it reveals something old and yellow in the midst of the soil – a bone, perhaps from a leg.
All of you grow silent as the weight of the situation dawns on you: there lies a plague victim, the remains that used to be a part of somebody. But that silence doesn’t last for long – with Tom it never does.
”Well, well, well. If it isn’t my new drum stick.”
”Nuh-uh, y/n found it first. Dig up your own shit, that’s ours,” Mary points out and jumps into the hole to inspect the newly found treasure.
You follow him, your curiosity getting the better of you as you carefully stick your hand into the cold dirt, grabbing the bone with your bare fingers. Mary looks oddly proud as you examine it, and they can't help but think that you look so naturally attractive when you’re deeply focused.
The bone is quite long, and you wonder if it’s a thighbone, but further inspection reveals dozens of tiny holes in it. ”Ew, I don’t want this – it’s corroded or something,” you huff and crinkle your nose, showing it to Mary who doesn’t think much of it, but listens to you anyway:
”Alright, I take it back. Tom, you can have this,” they say, taking the bone from you and handing it to Tom who sits down on the edge of the pit. Meanwhile, you continue your search by hand, and it doesn’t take long for you to dig out something bigger.
The moment you see it, you yelp and quail, scaring both Mary and Tom as well. Quickly, they turn to see what you found, shining the flashlight on the round object:
It’s a skull, grinning up at you all from its tomb, the eyesockets pitch black and bottomless as they stare coldly.
”Guys… we have to take this home,” Tom breathes out in awe, his eyes almost sparkling in morbid fascination, and Mary isn’t looking much different: a wicked grin creeps up on his face and he picks up the skull. The bone feels chilly under his dirty fingers as he rotates it, and then he turns to you.
”Wanna see me kiss that beautiful smile?”
”Mare, you do that, and I’m never kissing you again,” you declare as you try to catch your breath, recovering from the scare.
”Hmph, you’re no fun,” they huff and set the skull to the side, but not before pressing a quick, gritty kiss on your lips instead.
The excavating continues, accompanied by the sounds of your joking and laughter, which echoes in the otherwise quiet cemetery. Your own fear and nervousness slowly dissipate as time goes on, because it turns out that it’s actually much more convenient to tomb raid somewhere abandoned: no visitors, no guards and less chances of getting caught. It allows you all to actually have fun this time without having to tiptoe around and stay quiet.
As time goes by, more bones come into view, and soon you’ve almost dug up a whole skeleton. You wonder how many of them are still left in this mass grave (not that you’re going to dig them all up, even though Tom tries to convince you and Mary otherwise).
Then suddenly you feel it: something cold and sharp, buried in the dirt. Your heart jumps – it doesn’t feel like a bone. You dig further, revealing this mysterious object, which you soon recognize.
A crucifix.
It’s so old that it doesn’t even shine under the light of Mary’s flashlight. Tom’s eyes lighten up immediately. ”No way… you’re telling me the priest got dumped into the plague pit along with the peasants?”
”Yeah, seems like it,” you say with surprise. ”Even priests turn into the same worm food as all the others.”
Then before you know it, you hear the sound of a belt unbuckling, and you turn to your side to find Mary fumbling with their zipper. ”Vad i helvete-”
Mary just gives you a wolfish grin as he cuts you off, yanking his jeans down just enough to free himself.
”Found the priest. Gotta take a leak.”