Chapter Text
I just finished my shift,it's raining,luckily i brought my umbrella with me. My mom used to say better save than sorry,dear. I made a quick stop at the grocery store to pick some errands and straight to home after that,well not mine actually i decided to go to Bucky's. It's been a while since my last stop to his place. My hell shift week just over today,my job sometimes force us to be patient to meet each other. Yes,i miss him so much, i miss his kiss, his touch, his cheesy-pick-up line, his dorkiness and most of all i miss doing netflix and chill with him,well there's a tv in his place,but it's so old and don't have netflix. So when i said netflix and chill i mean instead watching cheap soap opera, we busy cuddling,spooning,make out and yeah.. you already know the rest.
It's already 8 pm, i keep up my pace,the rain it's not getting better and i think soon enough it will be a strom coming. I made it to Bucky's apartment,it's old apartment with maroon paint. There's no lift in this place,i had to use stairs. Well,when you just finished your hellish week at the hospital as ER's doctor,to take stairs to 7th floor is an ultimate torturing for your legs. Finally i made it to his front door,i grabbed into my bag blindly for the key,he gave me his spare key so i can come to his place whenever i want. I put the key on keyhole and make a silent entrance. The lights still out, i walked in hallway blindly to the main room,which is convert as bed room and tv room too. It's a small yet old studio apartment,the windows has been cover with newspapers. I saw him sit in high chair at the kitchen counter,there's slight light in that spot from the billboard outside the building. He looked so serious with his pen and notebook. I didn't think he realised I'm standing behind him. He always did that,he writes journals about his past life and presents,he didn't like when i called it diary and always gives me grumpy cat look after that. He said it's importat to him to wrote as many as he can remembered from his past,and what he wants to remember about presents, in case he'll forget it again in the future. The fact that he's been through memory loss phase scared him so much and made him got nightmares. I thought it getting better now, than the first time i met him. There's no smile or warm on his face,just sadness,anger and the gloomiest aura I've ever seen. Now he made jokes,smiles and believe me his smile it's a sunshine in a rainy day. So warm and peaceful although sometimes when nightmares came he became silent and looked so depressed but at least now i know how to make him a bit cheerful with my lame-st jokes.
..
I put my bag in the sofa and the groceries at the the table next to it. I poked his back and gave a warm hug,kissed his neck and buried my face in his back.
He turned around,took my hand and kissed it. I knew it's cliché but i always like when he did a gentleman prince things like that, he gave me a light sweet kiss on my lips and forehead.
"Welcome home,darling" he said with a little smile on his lips.
"What are you writing right now,Buck?" I asked, as i turn on the lights and walk to get the paper bag and put the groceries into the kitchen cabinet and the milk, orange juice and blueberry jam in the fridge.
"Well,it mostly about you,babe." He smirked and give me naughty looks
"About me? Really?
It's good or bad?"
"It has to be a good things only don't you think,because I must be the nicest girl you've met for almost a century,right?" I see him with my eagle look and one side smirk.
Poured milk in a glass and drink it a bit
"Besides, why you write in dark place like that, it' not good for eyes you know"
He giggled, "Why don't you just read it yourself Gem." As he pushed his notebook to my direction.
"And don't you forget,i have upgraded eyesight,remember?"
I scoffed "Yeah you bet, Grandpa"
I dragged the notebook near me. I took a look of it. I just read the second page and it already give me blush, i bet my face is as red as mr.Crab right now. I closed the book in hurry and pushed it back to Bucky so hard that it almost fall from kitchen counter.
"Nope,that' too much for me,I better stop before i got nosebleed because it's just to embarrassing."
"What were you thinking,writing like that about me, even Fifty Shades of Grey looks like teenage book compare to that."
He burst to laughed.
"Why not?"
"It's the fact, i just become a little bit detail than i usually do"
"And you never complain about anything when we actually "did or do" that."
"In fact sometimes, you more excited than me in bed.. if you know what I mean" He put satisfied naughty smile on his face.
I choked myself,and throw dirty napkin to him. He retrieve it easily fold it and continue to write.
"Babe,i just want to remember how wonderful my life after i met you,it almost magical for me too,you know."
"I can imagined what life i will be through if I'm not met you at the market that day."
His eyes still stick in his book there's a warm smile on his lip when he said it.
I felt my chest filled with warm feeling that almost riped open my chest, my cheeks feels so hot and i thougt it became redder than before. I lost words. I turned my back from him and tried to get myself busy re-arranging the groceries in the cabinet.
It almost a year and half since i knew him,and about 14 months after we decided to become intimate. It's my second months in Bucharest before i met him in the market. After finish my residents in Columbia University NY Presbytarian Hospital, I took 2 years tour with Doctor Without Border. I traveled to many conflicted area and third world country as an emergency and trauma doctor. After a while i thought i need to settle down but i didn't think i want to get back to US. I always like challenge,i like travel to place where i don't even know the language. That's why when a friend offered me a job in Bucharest National Hospital,i took it without hesitate. It's been a hard weeks when i first got here. Well,for the first time in my life i was think that i took bad decision. I'm an optimistic person but that time was a down side of my life.
Romanian people doesn't talk in English at all i mean at all. Even the nurses, just a bit of doctors who can speaks English but their English is also not at their strong point. I pushed myself to learn Romanian as fast as i can,i bought dictionary and trained myself every night. I managed to get better in a month or let say i managed to bought myself some warm food and not mistaken with ice cream.Once I built my confidence and went to the market, try to buy some fruits.
That's when i saw him for the first time.
I accidentally bumped his abdomen with my elbow.I said sorry in Romanian,and he just starring at me with his killer look like he will murder me in second. I took myself away from him as soon as possible and thougt he was a gangster or mob or something awful and wish never met him again.
But somehow when destiny written there's nothing you can do about it.
I met him again,this time was in a valley , dark empty valley just like a murder or rape scene in Law and Order : SVU. He was standing with his backside in front of me. He didn't see me yet,and i thought it was the perfect time for me to run. But then i heard some meowing, i stop i decided to look closely and i saw a kitten brushing it fur to his leg. And suddenly he kneel down, at first i tought he's going to hurt the kitten. I almost scream no, but i stop because instead hurting it,he put his gloved hand on it head, stroked it gently. It purring calmly,he took out something from his bag, later i realized it was a box of milk,he poured the milk into a small can. The kitten drank immediately it looks liked that it was very hungry. He pat it head again and at that time i didn't believe what i saw,he smile. A warm peaceful smile. A beautiful smile. He didn't look like a murderer anymore,he just looked like a wounded man who has been through an agony. I felt something in my stomach,maybe it's sign that realized or not, i have feeling for him.
I met him again the other day in market,actually i have been searching for him for days but couldn't find him. That's way when i saw him that day i felt little bit excited. He was picking plums, i tried to get nearer to him,my head thinking hard what should i said to him.
"Hi,my name is Gemma,what's yours?"
Nope i sounded like a weird psycho lady.
..
Should i talk to him in English or Romanian?
God, why is so difficult. I'm battling in my head
.
I stand next to him. I didn't know what drove me,it's like my mouth had it owns mind,i said in Romanian
"That's not ripe,you shouldn't picked those."
"Here picked this and this and this instead." I picked 3 riped plums and handed those to him.
He looked at me with weird look and say "Thank you" in Romanian.
I glupped, my heart racing
"Yeah your welcome,hope you like it"
Shit! what did i just said. I took a step back,turn over my back and walk out as soon as i can. I felt so embarrassed.
I missed my chance to talk to him that day. I felt really stupid.