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The power of observation was a beautiful gift. A gift that only few knew how to use, and Ichimatsu was one of those lucky individuals. Having presented as an alpha late in the puberty game when his eldest brother had already claimed the title, but then having no choice whether or not he even wanted to enforce his status before his parents put him on suppressants to avoid a showdown between their children, Ichimatsu had lived his life rather quietly and picked up on the habit of, well, observing .
With everyone in the household being hyper aware of him, treating him like he was a volcano on the brink of unpredictable eruption, and with Osomatsu so damn wary of him for the first few years that Ichimatsu sometimes felt he couldn’t breathe without having his eldest brother even be threatened by that … well, Ichimatsu really didn’t have much else to do but fill his time observing. Especially when his body had first been adjusting to the major suppressants and he was left with little to no energy to do much of anything else.
He’d gotten quite good at his observational skills, and he would be proud of that if it weren’t for the fact that he felt so damn lonely all the time for them. He could see the way his brothers, bar Osomatsu, tip-toed around him. He could see the way they couldn’t meet his gaze for too long, if at all. He could see them deliberately keeping him at arm’s length, and whether or not that was to keep Osomatsu’s paranoia about him sated or because they were genuinely paranoid about Ichimatsu himself... Ichimatsu didn’t know.
He didn’t care to know, because the answer would probably just make him feel worse.
The cats were nice, though. He had a lot in common with them. They were just as quiet as he was and just as tired , even if his chronic fatigue was just a side effect of his years of heavy suppressant use it was nice to have friends who napped as constantly as he did. Nice to have friends who watched as much as he did.
Ichimatsu could see a lot. Lots more than his brothers could, probably. He supposed his extreme skill only grew as intensely as it did because the suppressants he was forced onto had muted and dulled his other would-be important senses to such an extreme extent, so his sight was really all he had going for him to make up for it. He needed to be good at observing the scene and interpreting it because he couldn’t scent when Osomatsu was reinforcing his status as the eldest, alpha, and all around dominant brother, and he couldn’t hear the beginning rumbles of a low, warning growl in his eldest brother’s chest-- things that even a beta could do without as much difficulty as Ichimatsu had to deal with.
No, Ichimatsu had to rely on what he could see, and during those times early-on that Osomatsu wanted Ichimatsu out, Ichimatsu had to see and then act fast. He had to see Osomatsu hold himself taller, tighter; he had to see Osomatsu’s jaw set and his fingers twitch for Ichimatsu to know that oh, now is the time to remove himself from his brother’s sight. Now was the time to pretend he didn't exist, for everyone else's comfort. For his own safety.
He didn’t like it, not at first when it was worse, but not even now when they were all in their twenties and mostly settled around each other comfortably enough that Ichimatsu and Osomatsu could be in the same room for an extended period of time without issue. Everyone might say it was better than it had been when Ichimatsu had first presented as a potential rival alpha to their little group; they might say relationships had improved because Ichimatsu and Osomatsu could now exchange words pretty casually, something that couldn’t happen for years at first-- but Ichimatsu knew better. He knew better because he could see more than his brothers could.
Ichimatsu could see that his dearly beloved, eldest brother was just as observant as he was.
He supposed that being the alpha of any type of group-- siblings, friends, a private militia-- commanded the alpha in question have sharp senses, too. So whereas Ichimatsu watched out of self-preservation, Osomatsu was doing the same due to obligation, which in some ways, if you squinted, was in the interest of self-preservation just as well.
As carefree and care less as the dominant brother came off to be, as he actually was sometimes, Ichimatsu could tell he was always, always paying attention.
Just like Ichimatsu was. Every moment of every day.
It wasn’t even strictly Ichimatsu that Osomatsu was watching, it was everyone else, too. Responsibilities of an alpha and all that nonsense. Mostly out of instinct, probably. Osomatsu, since they were all very young, had been put in charge of the rest of his five siblings even before any of them had presented simply because he was born first. The status later to come was purely coincidental, and no one could have predicted it.
Just like no one could have predicted that Ichimatsu would present as an alpha, too. Especially not when Karamatsu, Choromatsu, and Jyushimatsu all turned out to be betas, and Todomatsu a rare omega -- everyone expected Ichimatsu to be a beta as well, including himself. Statistics said that one out of four children would present as anything other than a beta, with majority of the 25% being alphas and only very few being omegas and they had both already with Osomatsu and Todomatsu. That should have been it. So who the hell could have ever predicted that he would bloom late as-- drumroll-- another alpha? Who the hell could have looked at their family and said that they were the statistical exception? That he was? Especially him of all of them?
Why him?
Hell, he would have even preferred it if he were a beta. He didn't ask for this-- didn't ask to be condemned by the whole of his family because they hadn't expected nor prepared for a second alpha son. He didn't ask to be put on such a strict and constant schedule of suppressants to the severity that the instant he missed a day to take his pills or missed an appointment for his tri-monthly injections, his body immediately took advantage of it, his own willpower be damned, just because his parents panicked and sought out the most immediate solution to keep their children from offing one another. He didn't even want the title or rank as alpha of their sibling group, it was too much work, and for someone who had known nothing but fatigue and extreme lack of energy their whole life, why would he want that title? Why would he even try?
He didn't ask for this.
As a sort of middle-finger then to whatever God or celestial being or higher-power of the universe had bestowed this terrible curse on him, Ichimatsu decided to take it upon himself to then be the worst possible alpha he could be. He did his best to take his suppressants on time, did his best not to challenge his older brother’s authority, did his best to ignore and do exactly the opposite of what the chained and imprisoned alpha nature inside of him wanted him to do. He stayed quiet most of the time, keeping himself under the radar as much as possible by keeping to himself and his cats. His eyes were always looking away, down, anywhere other than anyone else’s eyes. He'd even taken up to wearing a medical mask to avoid ever possibly bearing his teeth at anyone for any reason.
He wasn’t known for trying much at all, but with this, he tried .
He really did, but like with all things, accidents happen.
They were bound to.
There were times where he genuinely did forget about his tri-monthly appointment for his suppressant injection. There were times where he genuinely did forget that growling at Choromatsu, Osomatsu's partner in-fucking-crime , or at Todomatsu, the oh-so precious and fragile omega that had Osomatsu wrapped around his manicured finger, were really, really big no-no's. Almost as big as snarling at Osomatsu himself for any reason. It didn't matter if any of his brothers did it, but Ichimatsu was absolutely not allowed to. Couldn't let his inner-alpha get the satisfaction, could he? Couldn't let it get a taste of the freedom it wanted, the instinctive power it craved? No, absolutely not.
There was even one time, the only time, that he even forgot to refill his emergency suppressants. How he could forget those was beyond even his comprehension, because it was those that he and all his brothers relied on order to make the journey to the doctor's office to get his much-needed injection before Osomatsu and he literally tried ripping each other's throats out. Forgetting to get a refill that one and only time was a pure, absolute accident. Karamatsu, however? Karamatsu was no accident.
He was a consequence.
Marking him was an accident.
☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁
It had been a few days since the incident with Karamatsu had happened. After they had cleaned up and aired out the house of the scent of their ‘forbidden’ deed, their brothers had returned home, and Ichimatsu was prepared to be immediately approached by Osomatsu. He was prepared to be confronted and aggressively asked about why his scent permeated each room of the house in a way it wasn't allowed to. He was prepared to even defend himself a little if Osomatsu wasn't convinced, or if Osomatsu just wasn't in the mood to be convinced. He could even see his brothers getting ready and preparing to hold their eldest brother back, if it came down to it like it had so many times before.
What he wasn't prepared for was for Karamatsu to defend him so strongly that Osomatsu actually put up the smallest amount of resistance Ichimatsu had seen in years. He wasn't prepared for Karamatsu to defend him at all because that never happened .
No one spoke up for Ichimatsu, ever. Such a deed was silently condemned by all of them as an act against Osomatsu, and when it came to Ichimatsu, that wasn't a wise decision if they wanted to keep the peace in the house. It's just what made things work smoothly, no hard feelings intended.
So what the ever loving fuck did Karamatsu think he was doing, standing in front of Ichimatsu and yelling at Osomatsu like that?
"It was an accident !" Karamatsu had yelled, right in Osomatsu's face because there wasn't much room to squeeze in between the two alpha brothers to begin with, so Karamatsu had to make do.
"The doctor’s office is closed right now, but he's going first thing in the morning." The blue-clad brother had said at a more reasonable tone, seeming to have realized that yelling probably wasn't the best idea, and even looking surprised at himself for yelling in the first place. Almost just as surprised as everyone else did in that moment. When Osomatsu didn't look convinced, Karamatsu added on one more thing.
"When has Ichimatsu ever wanted to challenge you?"
That seemed to be the magic words, because with one last huff, Osomatsu backed off. For the first time in a long time, Osomatsu didn’t push back, even if he wasn’t satisfied at all with Karamatsu’s explanation and excuses.
"Alright, but he's not sleeping with us tonight." Osomatsu said, his eyes on Ichimatsu, piercing, warning . A look Ichimatsu hadn’t seen in so long. He clenched his jaw, feeling pain shoot through the roots of his teeth and focusing on the feeling. He couldn't properly bare his teeth or growl if his mouth wouldn't move. No matter how much he wanted to otherwise.
When Ichimatsu lowered his eyes, Osomatsu turned and walked out of the room, followed closely by Choromatsu and eventually by Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu, but not by Karamatsu. The blue brother in question had stayed behind with Ichimatsu, watching as his other three brothers exited.
That pissed Ichimatsu off.
"Phew, that was a close call. Good thing I was-- agh! " Karamatsu had started, turning to face his younger brother, but the instant he did the front of his sweater was grabbed and then his back became closely acquainted with the nearest wall.
Ichimatsu gripped Karamatsu's clothing in a white-knuckled grip, his teeth bared and his face close with the very beginnings of a rumble in his chest.
The fear in Karamatsu's face was immediate, his eyes wide and his features panicked and every instinct in his body told him to fucking flee -- but that was a bit impossible at the moment, and also there should be no reason for him to. The only reason he was reacting like this was because he could smell the aggression on Ichimatsu much, much more than usual, and that wasn't good. Not when they'd put so much effort into winding Ichimatsu down.
"Y-you're going to get yourself in trouble a-again." He struggled out, but he had to say it because if Ichimatsu continued this way, continued to let his moods and emotions get the best of him, all their previous work had been for nothing and Karamatsu was not about to let that happen, not when the mark on his shoulder as a result of what they did was still so new, too-- his efforts were not going to be fucking wasted because Ichimatsu lost his damn temper!
Speaking his mind was a little bit more difficult though, and Karamatsu decided not to.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Ichimatsu warned with a low voice filled to the brim with gravel, bagged eyes unyielding as they watched Karamatsu closely. "Are you trying to get us both killed, Shittymatsu?" He hissed, and it seemed to be only then that Karamatsu realized they were talking about his previous action.
"I thought it was pretty clear I was trying for the exact opposite-- and it worked!" Karamatsu exclaimed, wrinkling his own nose at his brother despite every fiber in his being telling him to not do that if he wanted to live. His shoulder throbbed dully where the bite mark was, and he ignored it, too.
The rumbling in Ichimatsu's chest grew in volume, and his fist tightened in Karamatsu's sweater, earning him a weak sound of protest from the other.
Ichimatsu clenched his jaw, knowing full well he was letting his nature and temper and everything he usually didn’t have get the better of him, and that wasn’t a good idea. He was well aware that wasn't a good idea. He was well aware he needed to calm down, otherwise Osomatsu would be right back in this room with them and then there would be a real problem. That wasn't allowed to happen. He couldn't allow it to.
With a good amount of willpower, Ichimatsu finally let go of his brother’s sweater, though not without one last hard shove that had the older of the two frowning with a displeased sound.
He watched Karamatsu rub the wrinkled front of his sweater down, having pulled the garment far enough for Ichimatsu to glimpse part of his brother’s neck. Oh, yeah. He better check on that .
Without so much as a warning, Ichimatsu reached up and gripped part of Karamatsu’s hoodie and yanked it out of the way.
“Hey, cut it out!” Karamatsu protested.
“Shut it.” Ichimatsu said, his eyes looking at his brother’s reddened and bruised shoulder.
There was the distinct outline of every single one of Ichimatsu’s teeth, accentuated by welts where the worst of the mark was and then speckled with the blooming, dull colors of purple and red and some sickly, vulgar mix of the two. He had broken the skin a little, but not much. It wouldn't scar. Shouldn't. It wasn’t deep enough, thankfully.
Yeah, it'll take a while to go away… but it would, and that's what mattered. Neither had any feelings of that kind for the other so it wasn’t as if there were any mutual feelings of need and breed between them to make the mark mean anything. So, eventually, the mark would disappear, leaving the skin anew for the next potential life-partner. Ichimatsu had no intention of claiming Karamatsu, and Karamatsu had no intention of being claimed in general probably, but especially not by Ichimatsu.
The mark would go away.
That was good.
“What’re we going to do about it?” Karamatsu cuts through the silence, doing his best to crane his head to look at his own shoulder as well but he wasn’t achieving much.
“We’re not doing anything about it.” Ichimatsu replied, releasing his brother’s hood from his grip and letting his hand instead travel to scratch at the back of his own messy head idly. “It’ll heal at some point, so until then you just gotta keep it hidden.” He added, his hand resting on the back of his neck now.
“How am I supposed to do that when we all get showered and changed in the same room together? Every day and night?” Karamatsu asked, straightening his hoodie once again and taking an extra long while to do so because he could feel Ichimatsu’s eyes on him, and he just didn’t feel comfortable enough to look up and meet his gaze.
"Good question," Ichimatsu said eventually, his eyes still fixated on where the mark was hidden underneath his older brother's clothing. Unfortunately, neither of them had any experience with this stuff, so he had no idea how long it would take the mark to fully disappear. It would be great if it did overnight, but Ichimatsu knew better.
"Well, not to worry!" Karamatsu spoke up, volume back to it's original headache-inducing level that had Ichimatsu wrinkling his nose. "I'm sure things will work out. Destiny is beautifully mysterious like that!" Karamatsu exclaimed. He had a large, determined grin on his face and Ichimatsu couldn't bring himself to do much else but avert his gaze with a huff of annoyance at his brother's never ending optimism. It was grounding, at best.
It was silent, then, and it dragged on between them. Karamatsu was busying himself with rolling up his sleeves, and Ichimatsu was watching him do so. Neither made a move to break the growing tension that thickened around them. Karamatsu was playing with his sleeves much longer than the average person would, but it was clear Ichimatsu was a pro at doing absolutely nothing for long periods of time without shame, so it left only one option.
"So," Karamatsu spoke, his volume lowered, his eyes still on where his sleeve was pushed up at his elbow, one hand pulling at the fabric idly. He swallowed, taking a moment to gather exactly what he wanted to say, feeling the need to be extra cautious out of pure instinct. "I guess you'll be on the couch tonight."
Ichimatsu grunted.
"You know when the doctor's office opens, right?" Karamatsu asked, but winced when he got a glare in return.
"Of course I do, Shittymatsu. I'm the only one who does." I'm the only one who has to, Ichimatsu thought silently to himself as a bitter taste touched the back of his tongue. He tried not to think too hard about anything in that moment.
Karamatsu was frowning, feeling a jab of guilt in his gut about his comment and feeling a little stupid for asking to begin with. He quickly tried to think of something else to say, anything else to say, but Ichimatsu beat him to it this time.
"Get out of here." Ichimatsu said, turning and beginning to make his way to the living room, not really fond of the idea that he'll have to spend all night on the sofa. It was better than being outside, he supposed. "Osomatsu won't like it if you stay out here too long." He added, ignoring the way his mood immediately soured at his own words.
"If you need anything, Ichimatsu," Karamatsu spoke, his voice a tone that he rarely used. "you know you can always ask me."
"Shut up, Shittymatsu." Ichimatsu replied in a low hiss, not caring to acknowledge his brother's words beyond simply hearing them as he exited the room, leaving Karamatsu behind.
☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁ ☁
Karamatsu entered the bedroom just as the rest of his siblings were setting up the bedroll, all of them already dressed down into their matching pajamas.
"What took ya so long, bro?" Osomatsu asked from his cross-legged seat on the edge of their shared sleeping space, his lop-sided signature grin in place and you would never suspect he was the absolute opposite of casual not even half an hour ago.
Karamatsu walked over to where they kept their pajamas, seeing two pairs sitting folded neatly on the self of the closet courtesy of their ever hard-working and devoted mother. He thought about how to answer his older brother, feeling Osomatsu's eyes on the back of his head as he stripped himself of his sweater, being careful to angle himself in such a way that his marked shoulder was mostly out of view. Not answering wasn't an option, no matter how calm Osomatsu seemed right now.
"Making sure Ichimatsu had a place to sleep." Karamatsu said eventually, knowing everyone was waiting for his reply because earlier he had practically faced death head-on by yelling at his older brother in defense of his younger one. Put his name in the Matsu headlines for the next week!
"And?" Osomatsu asked, curiously.
"He'll be on the couch, but he's heading to the office first thing in the morning. By the time mom makes lunch, he should be back to normal." Karamatsu says, buttoning the last button of his night clothes, tossing his laundry over in the corner where everyone else's was, waiting to be washed or even re-worn.
"That's a relief," Choromatsu says, slipping into his designated spot next to Jyushimatsu, who looked like he was already out cold, limbs spread as wide and far as possible. It wouldn't be long before the snoring started. "We can all forget this ever happened."
Karamatsu frowned.
"How stupid do you have to be to forget to refill your emergency suppressants? I never forget to get mine done when they expire, and he wouldn't have run out if he didn't forget his appointments so damn often." Todomatsu threw in his two-cents without filter, knowing full well he could pretty much say anything without fear of argument from anyone else, especially when Osomatsu was in the same room.
"He has a lot going on," Karamatsu tried.
"Like what?" Todomatsu was quick to retort. "Sleeping all day? Playing with his dumb cats? As if! I bet he does it on purpose. There’s nothing really wrong with him anyway, you know?” The youngest said, sitting in his designated spot on the futon.
Karamatsu turned and furrowed his brows at his younger brother, usually one to appreciate his brother's ability to speak his mind, but not so much right now. He opened his mouth to reply, but decided it was probably better not to, especially with how closely Osomatsu was watching him in that moment.
"Light's out!" Osomatsu said, slipping into his space between Todomatsu and Choromatsu. The room was already darkened, but that was just their routine. However, Karamatsu stood where he had finished changing near the closet, eyes on the two empty spaces to the right of Todomatsu where he and Ichimatsu would normally sleep. He glanced into the closet, at the single set of pajamas left behind, and then back to the wrinkled pillow at the end of the bedroll.
Quietly, Karamatsu picked up the folded night clothes and then walked over and snatched up Ichimatsu's pillow, pausing when he noticed the amount of cat hair on the thing but quickly moving on with his task.
The rest of the house was dark and Karamatsu managed to navigate his way to his destination by pure memory of the layout. He and all his brothers could walk through this house without accident with their eyes closed if they wanted to.
Karamatsu eventually reached the living room, just as dark as the rest of the house, just as quiet. His eyes had already adjusted to the lack of light, so he could easily make out the couch, and the figure on it. This room was a little cut off from the rest if you wanted it to be, which was good in Ichimatsu's case at the moment, but Karamatsu could tell Ichimatsu's scent was slowly filling it up, spreading out at a casual rate, threatening to engulf the entirety of the household and make it his own much like Osomatsu's naturally did.
Ichimatsu's scent was very different from Osomatsu's, and Karamatsu hadn't realized how used he’d gotten to the smell of cinnamon that belonged to his oldest brother.
Ichimatsu normally smelled like a mix of things, mostly animals and old laundry, sometimes those weird sardine snacks he bought for his feline friends-- but right now it was very little of any of those. The scent that invaded Karamatsu's senses was much more pleasant than that. Something he could only describe as light, but very much there. Like the air right after it rains, or what you would breathe in while walking across a beach in the evening.
It was welcoming, Karamatsu thought. Very different from the hard, threatening scent that Ichimatsu gave off earlier. This one was nice, something Karamatsu hadn't ever noticed before. Was this Ichimatsu's natural scent? If Osomatsu and Ichimatsu's places were switched, would the house smell like this instead?
Karamatsu approached the couch, noticing that Ichimatsu was sitting up but leaning very heavily against his hand, elbow planted on the arm rest. His eyes were closed, and his breathing was even. Sleeping, and still very much in his day clothes.
The older brother decided to place the pillow on the opposite end of the couch, cat-hair and all, and then dropped the folded pajamas on top before glancing at his brother’s sleeping form again. Ichimatsu really did seem passed-out, though it had never taken him long to fall asleep anywhere, anytime, but Karamatsu supposed the events of today had taken its toll on Ichimatsu’s already-low levels of energy. Even he was feeling the drain, too.
Looking closer, Karamatsu noticed a light, light shine on the skin of Ichimatsu’s face, and the barest hints of a blush on his younger brother’s cheeks. He must be warm, then, and of course he would be with the usually-dormant hormones suddenly raging inside of him.
“You could at least take your sweater off and make it more comfortable for yourself.” Karamatsu said, not thinking twice about reaching for his younger brother, either to wake him or to try and gently remove the sweater himself. For a split second, he was reminded of younger years, when he and Osomatsu and sometimes Choromatsu, them all being the eldest three, would have to undress and help change the younger ones out of their clothes as they were too tired to do so. That was before their natures interfered with their lives. Simpler times.
Karamatsu didn’t have much more time to entertain the pleasant memories and thoughts though, because the instant his fingers made contact, Ichimatsu reacted. Aggressively.
Ichimatsu’s hand was wrapped around Karamatsu’s, and in an instant, the younger brother was twisting it at the wrist enough to cause the older to shout out in pain and quickly drop to his knees in an effort to keep the pressure off his pained wrist. His opposite hand flew up to grab at Ichimatsu’s arm for the same reason, but both his valiant efforts were in vain, and instead a low hiss came from his gritted teeth.
“Ichimatsu! Ichimatsu, it’s just me!” Karamatsu tried, noting the change in scent from his brother. It was no longer light and airy, and instead it seemed heavier, denser, more like another weight pushing Karamatsu further down. “Ichimatsu!” Karamatsu tried again, and was thankful when that seemed to work.
Ichimatsu blinked, glanced Karamatsu over, and then looked at where his own hand was gripping, taking only a moment to register the situation before he finally let go of his brother’s captive appendage. Additionally, he made an annoyed click with his tongue and raised up his foot to shove his brother away from him, standing quickly afterwards.
Karamatsu, after his back hit the ground, instinctively began scooting away from Ichimatsu while cradling his wrist to his chest, eyes wide as he stared at his younger brother.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Ichimatsu hissed, watching his brother’s efforts.
“I was just bringing your stuff!” Karamatsu replied, pointing to where the pillow and pajamas lay on the couch’s end.
Ichimatsu didn’t take his eyes of Karamatsu, and the older brother noticed. He swallowed thickly, averting his own gaze under the sudden pressure he felt to do so, pulling his hand back to himself.
Things got silent, just like before, and again, it grew tense and awkward, just like before. Ichimatsu was just standing there, watching him, and Karamatsu was still very much on the ground, holding his arm to himself.
With nothing better to do, really, Karamatsu began to get up-- but he was immediately stopped by a low, fierce growl that permeated the air and forced all his body hair to stand on end.
“Stay down.” Ichimatsu said not a moment later, and Karamatsu hadn’t yet raised his eyes to look at his brother, but realized now that he probably shouldn’t do that at all, and instead he stayed absolutely still in his half-sitting up position.
“Ichimatsu,” Karamatsu started, but Ichimatsu cut him off.
“Shut up, Shittymatsu.” Ichimatsu growled. “You’re as stupid as you look, aren’t you.” He added, the statement being phrased as just that, and not a question, and certainly not an invitation for Karamatsu to reply to.
He did anyway.
“Ichimatsu, you need to calm down.” Karamatsu said, slowly, matter-of-factly, because the air in the room was changing again. It was something overpowering, aggressive, challenging. If Osomatsu got a whiff of this, they’d all be in trouble, and Karamatsu couldn’t allow that. Wouldn’t.
“I’m trying.” Ichimatsu’s reply came, somewhat belatedly, and it caused Karamatsu to finally look up at his brother and he realized that yes, indeed, Ichimatsu was trying .
Ichimatsu’s face looked pained, like he was fighting something, or trying to convince himself of something in his head. Trying to maintain his composure, control. Any semblance of it. Even his hands, which were usually hidden inside his hoodie pocket, were instead at his sides, fingers flexing, pulling into fists and then stretched out again in a way that looked almost displeasurable.
The silence dragged on again, heavy and ragged and getting increasingly uncomfortable, nearly suffocating. Karamatsu needed to do something before the scent got out of hand and Osomatsu was barreling into the room to put a final end to it.
“Outside,” Karamatsu said, and Ichimatsu’s eyes narrowing at him was the only response he got.
“We have to get you outside, before you wake the others,” Before you wake Osomatsu, Karamatsu thought. “Maybe the cool air will help. We don’t have to go far. Just… Not inside.”
Karamatsu had an idea, a half-formed, panic-ridden idea, but one better than them just staying put while Ichimatsu’s hormones raged uncontrollably, despite how hard he was trying.
It was a long moment before the younger brother responded, and even then, it was only with a single nod, and a tight close of his eyes.
“Okay, I’m gonna get up now.” Karamatsu stated clearly, slowly moving to his feet, eyes never leaving Ichimatsu’s face. Ichimatsu just nodded again, eyes still screwed shut. Karamatsu continued with his hasty plan.
“I’m… I’m gonna take your hand now, alright? I’ll lead you out the front door, and maybe a little way further. I think it’ll help to get away from here.” The older brother said, not waiting for a reply this time before his fingers wrapped around Ichimatsu’s hand. He nearly jumped with how hot his younger’s palm was, and realized that, yes, the cool air would definitely help his body temperature, if nothing else.
It didn’t take long to navigate the house to the outside. The worst of it was trying to remain quiet, as they both kept bumping into things, or tripping over stuff, or even running into each other-- but eventually, they had made it on the opposite side of the front door.
“Alright, let’s just… go down the street a little. It’s dark and no one’s awake, so it’ll be fine.” Karamatsu said, wondering if he was talking to himself at that point. He ignored how his own heart had been racing too through this whole ordeal, a small trickle of ever-present fear in his veins.
He wondered if Ichimatsu could tell he was afraid. Of him.
They were a good couple yards away from the house before Karamatsu decided stopping there was good enough. The air was cool, not chilly, just as he had hoped for, and it was even helping to calm his own nerves.
Karamatsu turned and looked at his younger brother, still holding his hand, and raised his brows when Ichimatsu was nearly doubled over, his free hand on the knee of his sweats. He was breathing hard, and Karamatsu couldn’t see his face.
He could smell him though.
Clear as day, even when they were outside in the open, the thick, hefty scent of arousal hit Karamatsu’s nostrils. It was only then that Karamatsu realized Ichimatsu was gripping his hand so tightly, Karamatsu wouldn’t have been able to let go even if he wanted to.
“Ichimatsu,” Karamatsu said, softly, and he wondered if Ichimatsu could scent his tension in that moment.
“I’m sorry,” Ichimatsu said, still bent and heaving, body shaking where it could. Palms burning. “I’m sorry.”
Karamatsu wasn’t quite sure what Ichimatsu was apologizing for, whether it was for what happened earlier, or what was happening now, or even if it was for the situation as a whole-- he didn’t know.
“I don’t…” Karamatsu began, but closed his mouth as he rethought his sentence, deciding at that moment to put the rest of his imperfect plan into action. “It’s okay.” He says, and he’s saying it to himself, mostly, because he needs to hear someone tell him this is okay, that what he’s about to do is okay , because in reality it is very, very much not.
They’re by a building, and maybe its someone else’s house, maybe not, but there’s a wall and it’s dark out and the area is out of the way of anyone who decided to glance out their windows, and Karamatsu ushers Ichimatsu to lean against it, with the excuse that the cool material will help. Ichimatsu doesn’t let go of his hand, not once.
Ichimatsu’s panting, clearly over-heated, even outside in the cool air, and Karamatsu insists that he take his sweater off, please. After a few moments full of stubborn Ichimatsu, the purple, sweat-soaked sweater is in Karamatsu’s hands while Ichimatsu remains in his sweatpants and a sleeveless undershirt, also soaked.
Their hands are no longer joined, but that’s fine.
Karamatsu stares at the sweater maybe a little too long, but Ichimatsu’s eyes are closed again and his head is leaned against the wall and he’s trying . The older brother swallows thickly, the air no longer clear and he himself was feeling a little suffocated in that moment, almost enough to want to back away, enough so he could breathe, and maybe even further than that.
He couldn’t just abandon Ichimatsu, though. He didn’t the first time, and he wasn’t going to now. Karamatsu was consistent in his morals, if nothing else.
He ignored how doing anything with your brother was probably not moral at all. Whatever . Technicalities.
He dropped the sweater on the ground at their feet.
His knees landed on top not a moment later as he lowered himself to be at crotch-level to Ichimatsu, his mouth going dry at the obvious growing tent in Ichimatsu’s sweatpants.
The younger brother, upon feeling fingers at the hem of his pants, opened his eyes wide to stare down at where the older one knelt. Immediately his hands gripped Karamatsu’s and pulled them away, squeezing painfully, and he hissed.
“What the hell are you doing?”
Karamatsu gritted his teeth, trying to loosen the grip on his hands. “I’m trying to help , again.”
“You think sucking me off is going to help? Anything?” Ichimatsu said, unconvinced, unmoving, ignoring the bulge in his pants that clearly wanted attention.
“Rutting against me in the bathroom did something for a while, didn’t it? Do you have a better idea? Or do you just wanna stand out here and advertise to the world that you’re ready to fuck the nearest moving object? Which, may I remind you, happens to be me at the moment!” Karamatsu said, growing frustrated, especially when Ichimatsu didn’t answer and instead just stared at him.
Karamatsu grumbled, yanking his hands out of Ichimatsu’s and planting them on his younger brother’s hips. He was already down here, and he had already made his intent clear, and Ichimatsu’s lower half was clearly ready for him, too. He wasn’t about to just stand up and turn back now.
“We just have to get you calm enough to last the rest of the night. It worked the first time. This will be just enough to finish the job, right?” Karamatsu added, fingers hooking into the hem of Ichimatsu’s pants, but he couldn’t pull them down. He hesitated, something cold running through his veins at that moment, as if the weight and wrong of the situation caught up to him just then.
“Right?” He asked again, glancing up at Ichimatsu, who was still staring at him with a look that said he was just as lost. Just as hesitant, and in no place to give any validation.
Karamatsu looked back down, pressing his lips together in a straight, firm line before he pulled down Ichimatsu’s pants, his expression changing immediately when he learned Ichimatsu wasn’t even wearing any underwear.
“Really?” He commented, looking a bit put-off, and also trying not to look at the dick that was half-hard in front of his face. “I expect this from Osomatsu, but not from you--”
“Why’s that? Do you offer to suck him off, too?” Ichimatsu cut Karamatsu’s sentence off, and his voice was sharp, cutting, angry almost.
“Of course not.” Karamatsu said back too quickly, insulted, “Forget I said anything.” He didn’t look up at Ichimatsu, and instead he immediately leaned forward and took the tip of Ichimatsu’s cock into his mouth, the fingers of one hand moving to the base and squeezing.
Ichimatsu’s reaction was instantaneous; his head fell back hard against the wall, a deep, guttural groan reverberating out of his vocals and the tips of the fingers of one hand found themselves sliding into Karamatsu’s hair.
Karamatsu, meanwhile, grimaced a little at the taste, and perhaps at the action as a whole. He tried not to think about what was happening too closely, knowing full well he’d probably freak himself out-- but goddammit! Ichimatsu needed someone’s help right now!
What was once a half-hard member soon became a fully erect one, thickening and hardening in Karamatsu’s mouth. The thick scent of arousal was strongest where he was right now, and it was causing his own head to get a little dizzy, but he did his best to stay focused. He pressed his tongue to the underside of Ichimatsu’s dick, sucking lightly at the tip as his fingers pressed and stroked the rest of it he was sure he couldn’t fit into his mouth as well. Ichimatsu groaned above him again, breathing hard.
He didn’t know if it was because he had a cock in his mouth, or if it was the heavy, intoxicating smell, or the sounds from his brother-- but Karamatsu himself began to feel his own dick start twitching to life. Memories of what he and Ichimatsu had done before began flooding back and it was, quite frankly, really distracting.
He tried not to think about it, and sucked more of Ichimatsu’s cock into his mouth, fingers working against the hot flesh while his tongue swirled the tip.
Ichimatsu’s head was swimming. Had been swimming, even before they’d left the house. He didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him-- well, that was a lie. He did know. He was going through an unplanned heat, the first in years he was being forced to ride out for at least a portion of it, so of course he’d be a little less than clear-minded and well-coordinated. However, that didn’t explain why it was Karamatsu’s scent that was doing most of the fucking damage to his mental state.
His older brother might have been trying to be nice by bringing his clothes and pillow down, but Ichimatsu swears that’s what started up this second rut. Even before he awoke, he could sense his brother enter the room, and get into such close proximity to him, and by the time he was fully awake, that was it. Of course it’d be Karamatsu that would want to make sure he was comfortable through the night, but for once, couldn’t his brother be a little more of an asshole like the others? There was just something about his scent now that just… it was intoxicating , if he had to put it simply. It was different, somehow, and Ichimatsu felt himself drawn to it.
He’s sure that’s why he didn’t protest harder against this blowjob offer, because it was Karamatsu on his knees before him, and it freaks Ichimatsu out that if this were any other circumstance or any other time, or maybe any other brother, Ichimatsu might reject and push away and deal with his problems himself-- but this was different. This whole thing was different, and he didn’t want to think about why it might be.
Instead, his fingers tighten in Karamatsu’s hair, and he jerks his hips forward.
He feels Karamatsu gag around him, immediately pushing back enough to cough and breathe and Ichimatsu lets him, opening his eyes and looking down at his brother, ignoring how nice he thought the other looked like this. It was just the heat talking, probably. Heats could make anyone do and think all sorts of wild, unreal, irrational things.
At least, that’s what he told himself.
“Can’t take it any further than that, Shittymatsu?” Ichimatsu said, tilting his head a fraction as the corner of his lip quirked up into a nasty smirk, though he still looked as wrecked as he was before this started.
Karamatsu wants to glare at him, probably, but doesn’t, and instead takes Ichimatsu’s cock back into his mouth with new determination, and without Ichimatsu even pulling his head down or pushing his hips forward, Karamatsu is moving down on his dick all on his own, as far as he can go, until his nose is nestled into the coarse hair at the base of Ichimatsu’s cock.
So, he has had some practice, somewhere, with someone. No cock-sucking beginner could pull something off like this, no matter how determined they were.
The idea that there might actually be some truth to Karamatsu sucking anyone else off sets Ichimatsu’s veins ablaze with a newfound anger, and at this moment he doesn’t care enough to try and rationalize it to the heat talking.
Instead, he pulls his hips back, and then jerks them forward, pushing his cock all the way back into Karamatsu’s throat, and holding it there. He watches his brother struggle a moment, but doesn’t get pushed away, so he continues.
Karamatsu does his best not to gag again. He feels Ichimatsu’s fingers tight in his hair, and it’s painful, and the cock pushing into his throat is also its own type of pain, too, and also the sweater isn’t doing much for his knees anymore and his own cock is now painfully, fully erect on top of everything else. He tries to ignore it, all of it, but he knows he can at least do something to relieve the pressure in his pants, and that seems to be what ends his self control.
While Ichimatsu is fucking into his mouth, Karamatsu tells himself he at least deserves to touch himself a little, just to make it all more bearable.
When he reaches down, though, Ichimatsu doesn’t seem to like that.
Growls from an alpha are their own type of phenomenon in that no matter the situation, they can and will always, always put the fear of God into the hearts of everyone who hears it, cock-in-mouth or otherwise.
Karamatsu is pulled off Ichimatsu’s wet dick with a lewd pop sound, saliva already dripping off his chin from the corner of his mouth, but before he can do anything to react, the front of his pajamas is grabbed and he’s hauled to his feet, and the next thing he knows is that he’s the one with the back against the wall, with a very, very riled up alpha brother in front of him.
“Ichi--” Karamatsu starts, but his voice turns into a sharp gasp when Ichimatsu’s hand shoves down the front of his pants and grips his dick a little too hard, and when he reaches down between them, Ichimatsu’s other hand is gripping one of his and pinning it hard against the wall as the younger brother pulls out his cock to the air, too.
“We’re outside!” Karamatsu says in a hushed tone, looking around them on the dark street.
“Really? You were about to jerk yourself off while sucking a cock and now that’s what bothers you?” Ichimatsu snarks, and with a minor growl he grabs Karamatsu’s free hand and wraps it around both their cocks, his own hand coming overtop his brother’s, keeping it in place.
“S-still, this is--” Karamatsu starts, but doesn’t finish because Ichimatsu squeezes. He winces.
“This way is just better. For us both.” Ichimatsu says, and it’s the last thing that’s said before Ichimatsu starts pumping he and Karamatsu’s hand along their lengths.
It feels good, Ichimatsu thinks. Probably feels better for Karamatsu than it would be if he jerked himself off while on his knees, and for some reason, that matters to Ichimatsu right now. He tries not to think about it. He also tries not to think about how, for some reason, he felt he probably couldn’t get off on just Karamatsu’s mouth alone, thus prompting him to pull up this particular scenario.
He just… tries not to think about anything but the way his dick feels being stroked in tandem with Karamatsu’s. Which is a pretty damn good feeling, and if Karamatsu’s breathlessness is anything to go by, Karamatsu seems to agree.
Ichimatsu’s dick was already wettened from Karamatsu’s mouth previously, and the stand-in lubricant really helped get this whole thing started on the right foot without any awkward pain, but now both their cocks were leaking all over their hands and dicks and if Ichimatsu didn’t already think of himself as a gross person, perhaps he’d be grossed out right now. As it was, though, he wasn’t grossed out, much rather he felt more… enamored than anything. With how their cocks looked together. With how Karamatsu was breathing, ragged, uneven. With the way his eyes were screwed shut and his thick brows were furrowed and there was some sweat at his temple.
He looked good, Ichimatsu thought. Really good. He smelled especially good, too, more now than ever before, and maybe it was the intoxicating scent that caused him to lean forward and capture Karamatsu’s mouth with his own.
That was a mistake, though.
Karamatsu immediately pulled his face away after the initial shock, not saying anything, but keeping his face turned pointedly away, despite continuing his stroking with Ichimatsu’s. Ah, of course there wouldn’t be any kissing allowed. That was too intimate, too familiar, too weird to digest, on top of everything else that was happening. Ichimatsu didn’t think much of kissing, but knowing his romance-inclined brother-- it probably had a different weight for Karamatsu altogether.
Damn.
Ichimatsu settled for pressing kisses against Karamatsu’s jaw and what was visible of his neck above the collar of his pajama top. The front of his body was practically pressed against Karamatsu’s and it was a nice sensation, paired with how they were both thrusting up into their stroking hands. It was a burning fire in the pit of Ichimatsu’s stomach, and he knew he was getting close.
He let go of Karamatsu’s hand he had been previously holding captive against the wall in favor of gripping his brother’s leg and hiking it up to wrap around his hip, pulling their bodies ever closer.
“Ichimatsu--” Karamatsu pants out, and it’s not a protest, which is important. Karamatsu’s hand landed on Ichimatsu’s shoulder, and the younger notes he’s not being pushed away. Okay. That’s also important. As hazy as he felt right now, as out-of-control as he seemed-- Ichimatsu didn’t want to ever be the type of alpha that pushed himself onto others. He didn’t want to be an alpha at all, but if he was damned with this nature, he was going to be damned sure he’d be the kind he wanted to be.
Ichimatsu sucked at the skin on Karamatsu's neck, licking and nipping at it, biting at his ear, hearing the sounds he was making in response. Moans, sharp intakes of breath, whimpers, and it all only served to feed the burning fire inside Ichimatsu and oh, God, he was so close. He was so close but there was something missing, or at least it felt like it. Something that was keeping him at bay, keeping him from getting his full release and it was frustrating, really frustrating, to say the least.
"G-God... Ichimatsu, I'm..." Karamatsu forced out, his voice all but wrecked, both from the earlier mouth-fucking and the current situation at hand. Karamatsu's hip movements and hand movements became erratic and uncoordinated then, and like clockwork, his body practically vibrated as he came all over both of them, a lewd sound belonging in a porno escaping his throat, and God, if Ichimatsu could, he would've came right then and there, too.
As it was, he didn't, because something was missing. And it was really pissing him off now.
"Ichimatsu? Are you... is any of this helping?" Karamatsu seemed to notice the issue now, too, which was just great, and bless his heart for not stopping the stroking movements even after he no longer needed them.
"I don't know what's wrong," Ichimatsu confessed aloud, sounding as grumpy and frustrated as he felt. Thrusting into their hands felt good, great even, but it wasn't enough.
There was a beat of silence, and Karamatsu soon spoke up again.
"Here, give me my hand back, but keep going." Karamatsu said, pulling his messy hand away from their cocks and watching Ichimatsu's wrap around only his own now, since Karamatsu's was currently spent and no longer needed the attention.
Ichimatsu watched as Karamatsu began undoing the top few buttons of his pajama top, and for a moment he was pretty confused, until Karamatsu pulled aside his collar to reveal the ugly bruising that was Ichimatsu's previous mark on his skin.
Ichimatsu's eyes widened, and suddenly, the mark was all he could focus on, all he was drawn to. It took a great amount of willpower not to sink his teeth back into their place in that very moment, because it was then that he realized what was fucking missing.
"It... you did this last time, before... you know..." Karamatsu says, unable to say anything further despite having jacked off into both their hands moments prior. "It didn't... affect us the first time, so I think one more time, before you actually get to the doctor's office, won't... be an issue."
"Are you sure?" Ichimatsu asks, and they both know full well he's not asking about whether it'll adversely affect either of them.
"I'm okay, you can go ahead and... if it'll help." Karamatsu finishes, reaching down with a free hand to take Ichimatsu's hard cock, knowing it was better to get jerked off rather than jerk yourself off. Anything that'll help, Karamatsu thinks.
It isn't even a whole second of hesitation on Ichimatsu's end before the younger brother is gripping Karamatsu's shoulders with both hands and yanking him forward before violently planting his teeth into the already-wounded flesh, a low rumble in the back of his throat accompanying the gesture.
The sound that ripped itself out of Karamatsu's vocals was nothing less than a scream, but he firmly planted his free hand over his mouth to muffle the sound and not wake anyone in the neighborhood, doing his damned best to focus on jerking his brother off and not to focus on how much it fucking hurt.
He supposed he should've did this earlier, before he got off, because maybe a nice orgasm right about now would be a good enough distraction from it all.
Speaking of getting off-- Ichimatsu didn't take long after that. His movements became almost sloppy, fingers bruising Karamatsu's shoulders and tongue licking against his skin in between hard rows of teeth. It was a deep, low, rumbling moan that signaled his peak, right before his mess joined Karamatsu's on both their fronts.
Karamatsu pumped his brother through his orgasm, feeling the tension slowly ebb away. He winced when Ichimatsu pulled his teeth from Karamatsu's flesh, choosing now to simply lick long, hot strokes against the re-opened wound, making it sting, at best.
Ichimatsu's grip loosened on Karamatsu's shoulders, and he pulled his face away finally from Karamatsu's neck.
"Oh, God," Karamatsu said suddenly, eyes going wide at the smudge of blood at the corner of Ichimatsu's lips. He raised his own, shaking, hand to the mark on his skin and pulled it away with fingers covered in a mix of saliva, blood and sweat. "Holy shit!"
Ichimatsu's brows pulled together, a look of concern on his face as he watched his brother examine his own hand and then themselves, and then the street around them.
"Are you alright, Shittymatsu?" Ichimatsu asks, the insulting nickname second-nature and not really intentional.
"Huh? Oh, yeah! Everything's fine! I mean, why wouldn't it be? I'm fine," Karamatsu says, way too fast, way too excitedly. "I just got done sucking and jerking my brother off, in the middle of the street, and now my shoulder's bleeding and-- you know? Maybe I'm not okay." And then he adds, in a quieter tone, eyes going distant. "I'm really dizzy, Ichimatsu."
"Ah, shit," Ichimatsu says, right before catching his collapsing brother. "At least pull your pants up before you pass out." The younger states, doing his best to cover them both up again.
"Sorry," Karamatsu mumbles into his shoulder, but doing nothing to help. A second later, he groans, like he's going to be sick, and Ichimatsu really hopes he doesn't puke.
"Try not to think about it." Ichimatsu states, because that's a perfectly healthy bit of advice. Another groan from Karamatsu is all he gets in response before he maneuvers them so he's carrying his brother on his back. His knees are a bit shaky as he begins walking the short distance back to the house, and he chalks it up to the fatigue from the recent orgasm. Talk about great timing, he thinks.
Karamatsu's quiet the entire way, all the way up even until Ichimatsu drops his limp body onto the couch. The silence gave Ichimatsu a chance to think things over for himself, and he didn't like what he found.
Ichimatsu sat on the edge of the couch, staring down at his sleeping brother, both their cheeks still flushed from their previous action together. sweat curled some of Karamatsu's bangs at his forehead, sticking them there, and his pajama top was still partially unbuttoned, and Ichimatsu could glimpse the worsened mark.
"I think we have a problem," Ichimatsu says aloud, reaching a hand forward and stroking some of Karamatsu's black hair out of his face. His brother didn't stir. "I think marking you did mess me up a little." He finishes, watching himself as he dragged the back of his knuckles against his brother's cheek.
"Which sucks, honestly, it sucks a lot, because that's gonna bring more problems than I want to deal with." Ichimatsu continues, frowning, working the rest out on his head for a moment. He then reaches with both hands to start buttoning Karamatsu's top back up.
"It's fine, though. The suppressants will push everything down, and I'll get something for you, too, to help heal it, and until I can figure out how to fix all this..." Ichimatsu says, fastening the last button. He pulls his hands back onto his lap, and watches his brother for a second. He thinks about everything that had happened in the past day to lead up to this moment, and thinks about the things they did, and the things it made him felt, and why everything felt different, now. For a second, he thought this was all some sort of sick trick; some sort of karma he deserved for rejecting his nature so strongly, and now he was being punished by imprinting on his own goddamn brother.
"Until I can fix it, the fact that you belong to me now can be our little secret." Ichimatsu says, not sounding hopeful. Then he smirks something bitter. "Hell, maybe I'll even keep it a secret from you, spare you all the trouble that I'm going to have to deal with. You'd probably just pass out again, anyway, which isn't helpful."
Ichimatsu felt stupid talking aloud like this, but in a way it also made him feel a little better, like he was confessing something and a weight was lifted, even though Karamatsu definitely couldn't hear him right now. It was good enough, and Ichimatsu had made his life about settling for just good enough anyway.
With a deep sigh, Ichimatsu stood up, pulling the blanket hidden behind the couch out and messily placing it onto his brother's form. A moment passed after that, of him just watching Karamatsu one last time, memorizing the angles and rounds of his brother's face.
For a second, he wanted to kiss him, but stopped himself. Instead, he left the house, and began making his trek to the doctor's office, deciding that waiting there the rest of the night was better than being in the same room as his brother. At least in his current state.
The entire way, Ichimatsu busied himself with thoughts about Karamatsu, tried reminding himself why he hated him, finding any excuse to do so-- but coming up almost empty. He kept at it though, because it was a lot more pleasant thread to think about than the alternative, which consisted of Osomatsu and the rest of their family, and everything he would no doubt be struggling with when he got back.
If Osomatsu found out about the mark, about anything they did behind his back, he definitely wouldn't like it.
Ichimatsu grinned and realized, in that moment, that he didn't particularly care.