Chapter Text
“Are you ready yet, Red?!”
I bark at Amora, getting ready in her room, and I tap my foot impatiently. God, I know she's my best friend, but God, she needs to improve her time management skills.
“I'm coming,” She groans back.
She whines a little, and I roll my eyes in response. As soon as I see her come out of her room, I gasp slightly. She looks stunning. I feel my heart thumping out of my chest, so I mask it with an annoyed expression. The way her rust hair falls over her face makes the thumping more persistent. She's wearing her micro jean shorts and a baby blue polo, god, she knows how to show off her curves. She slips on her favorite brown boots that match the brown belt on her shorts, the ones I got her.
“Finally, we’re going to be late.”
“It's just a movie?” she barks back,
Her tone was different from normal, filled with annoyance and hatred. I feel my chest tighten with hurt and anger, because it's not just a movie,
“Red, you know it's not just a movie,” I growl back, pointing at her. She puts on her strawberry lip gloss, the smell leaks into my nose, I look at her in disbelief, and I'm hurt by the fact that she knows it's a hard time for me, and she's just…. Putting on lip gloss. I grumble to myself as she rubs her lips together,
“Let's just get this stupid movie over with.” She struts past me. I stood there, stunned, my eyes widening, my jaw clenched. I don't protest, knowing it will only escalate the situation, so I push down the lump in my throat and follow her to my car. I get into the driver's seat, gripping the steering wheel tightly; my knuckles turn white from my grip. She gets in, snapping her gum,
“Spit that out, you know how I feel about gum in my car,” says my voice, stern but also hurt.
She rolls her eyes, spitting it out the window,
“Happy?” she says, annoyed. I nod slightly and start the car. All I can feel is hurt.
Why is she treating me this way, especially now? After everything?
“You know why we are seeing the movie, right?” I ask, my voice shaking from being on the brink of full rage,
“Because you’re a weirdo who needs to see this weird kid movie,” she says back, picking at her nails uninterested.
She forgot
“Are you serious?”
I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. She held me when it happened, she was at his funeral, she was there to witness the pain I went through, and she forgets? This was our other best friend, Turner's favorite movie; he had been waiting for it to come out for a long time. He died in July of this year. It's October.
She doesn't reply
“Amora, this was Turner's favorite movie; he was waiting for so long for this movie, how can you forget?! He was your best friend and your twin brother?! How self-centered have you become? Where you can't even remember your twin brother's dying wish?!”
I say my face is turning red from how aggressively I'm screaming at her. I look forward to the car; I can feel the steam leaking out of my ears. For a few seconds, I experience exasperation towards Amora for the first time. The lump comes back to my throat, and I bite down on my lip hard to stop myself from breaking down, but the lump is too strong. I feel my eyes well up with tears, and I think to myself, don't you dare cry, you're better than this, you pussy, be strong for him, be strong for her, but as soon as I thought of her, I broke down. I lean my forehead on my steering wheel, and I just sob, my shoulders shaking aggressively from my sobs. My breaths come out in hiccups, and I clutch my chest, hitting my head against the steering wheel. She just watches. I can see the pain in her eyes; she's screaming at herself to help me. I can see it.
“Amora, please,” I choke out, weeping.
“Oh, Leto,” she says. I
can hear the pain in her voice; it's very soft and comforting, the same tone she used on the kids she used to babysit. She unbuckles her seat belt, crawling over to my seat, tucking herself in my lap, holding me.
“I tried to save him,” I choke out into her shoulder, weeping,
“I know, Leto, I know,” I hear her voice start to crack
“If I just took those pills away,”
I say, my eyes stinging from sobbing. I look at her, she doesn't say anything, but she doesn't have, the aching in her eyes says it all. Her eyes are glossy as well. She wipes my face with her thumbs, and I lean into her touch, my eyes closing. Just like how my mother used to do it. I open my eyes slowly, making eye contact with her. Tears start to fall, and she breaks down as well. I pull her into my chest, my hand firmly on her back, and cradle her head.
“Shush, I'm here, ok, I'll always be here no matter how much you hate me, ok?”
I say, rocking her, each one of her sobs adding to my agony, but I persevere. The harder she sobs, the more torment I'm in, but she needs me to come on. Leto, not now, you can't have an attack now, wrong time, very bad time.
She gets a call
You have to be kidding me
She picks up her phone with shaky hands, it's from her boyfriend
Her boyfriends, this cocky frat guy, his name is Jake, of course, his name is Jake. When they talk, she always gets this look, it’s a look of longing and lust. I want her to look at me like that, like I’m the only one in the world. But I'm never going to get that, not to sound like some lost lover boy, but it's true. I'll never get that, no matter how much I beg, whine, or force. I'm never getting her. I glance down at her, and her eyes widen with a look of fear. I hear over the speaker of her phone, moans. A woman's moans. She screams into her phone.
“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!”
Her voice breaks with sobs, the kind of sobs that make your breathing turn into tiny hiccups. She hyperventilates, so I take the phone away, hanging up for her. She shakes, sobbing into my chest,
“I'm here, ok, like I said, I'll always be here, just breathe, ok.”
I kiss her head tenderly, hiding my excitement. I know this is shitty, but damn, I've never been happier. She lost that fucktard, so I can have her. Now she can be all mine. God, I love her. I could get lost in her eyes for hours; she's all I need in life. I will crawl to her if I need to, die for her. Her brother would want her to be with me; he trusts me, not Jake. Just saying his name disgusted me. How could he hurt my sweet Amora? The way her rust hair flows in the wind, how it sticks to her sweaty forehead when we work out. The way her curves glisten with sweat after a workout, I wish I could lick her clean. She would taste so sweet. And here comes Jake with his stupid grin and his cocky attitude, just sweeping her off her feet like a prince, total bullshit. She was nothing to him, just a pussy to fuck, but she's my everything, my whole world! She just sees Jake as her love, her world. I should be her world, I deserve her, I need her.
Shes mine
“Why does it hurt too much?”
She sobs, her face pressed into my chest, her words snap me out of my thoughts. My blood boils at the thought of Jake hurting her so much. I hold her tighter, my face red with anger at her hurt from this fucking loser, Jake. I fucking hate him.
“I know red, it hurts like hell, but it's for the better, he's out of your life.”
I tilt her chin up with my finger, I look into her red, puffy eyes, and her copper hair sticks to her forehead. Her gray eyes filled with hurt and enervation, my heart aches for her pain, my heart is getting ripped out at the idea of her being hurt so much. I start to tear up,
“And you'll find someone way better who loves you for you, and only you.”
My voice dropped to a pained whisper. I hold her close to my chest, giving her tender kisses on her head. She weeps into my chest, gripping onto my shirt like a lifeline,
“I thought he loved me, he said we were going to go to the same college, and live our lives together,”
She says weakly and pained into my chest. I kiss her head. I know I shouldn't be happy right now, but fuck, I'm over the moon. I'm so glad that dick head is out of her life. He's been cheating on her for years, breaking promises he never intended to keep. I need to show her what she's been missing, how much I've loved her. Should I lie and say that he only dated her because of a dare? I know it's not true, but I need her to hate his guts.
“Red?” I ask, my voice soft
“Yes,” she sniffles and rubs her eyes, smudging her makeup
“I have something to tell you”.
I cup her face, wiping her tears and cleaning her face, god, she's still beautiful even if she was just crying her eyes out. I feel my chest tighten. My breathing gets constricted quickly, but I barely notice, as the deep and important thoughts consume me in my mind: fuck, I can't do this, lie to her to make her hurt more? And what if she finds out I'm lying? She’ll hate me forever, and if she hates me forever and goes back to him, what will I do? I can't live without her. She's my one and only.
I can't breathe
I CAN'T BREATHE
Am I going to die
Please, I can't leave her, I can't die
Whats happing
All I can hear is her screams as everything goes dark