Work Text:
There it was- on paper- his new name. The words printed on the paper evoked a strong feeling within him.
Trevor Bean
The words signified his marriage to Chris- the man he’d been in love with for years.
It was a bit odd that he’d chosen to take Chris’s surname, Trevor reflected, seeing as the man himself wasn’t particularly fond of it.
That thought was quickly brushed aside in favour of other things though- the paper Trevor’s new surname had been on was part of a legal document for a lawsuit involving the Cornley Drama society, The British Museum and the penguins in London Zoo. (Chris was handling most of the paperwork, but Trevor could see how stressed his husband (husband! Wasn’t that a thought!) was getting and had been attempting to help out before he caught sight of his new surname).
The next day Trevor woke up feeling very strange indeed. Or at least Trevor assumed it was the next day- he couldn’t really remember much from last night. He rolled over in bed to check on Chris. To his horror he was met with the sight of blood pooling around him on the sheets. No, not blood. The colour was far too orange. He sniffed it. That was odd. The mysterious liquid carried the distinctive smell of baked beans- and, after some careful investigation, it tasted like baked beans too.
Trevor attempted to get up to further investigate, but quickly discovered he had no arms or legs. For he had been turned into a giant baked bean.
He screamed.
Trevor woke with a start, frantically checking his body to make sure it was indeed human and not a bean. Satisfied with his sufficiently non-bean status, he looked to his side and was relieved to find Chris actually asleep next to him instead of staying up for the 3rd night in a row. While the name ”Trevor Bean” printed on the paper may not have been real (and thank god for that) the lawsuit was very real (though didn’t actually involve the London Zoo penguins).