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peko's lips were not soft. had never been, for as long as he had known her, always chapped and bit. just like the inside of her mouth, he had had the pleasure to discover, a habit that revealed her otherwise well hidden anxiety. but they were big. a mouthful. fuyuhiko's lips, just as everything else, were small, thin, pale. there was never enough of him, he thought, when it came to his body. he had never been tall enough, or fat enough, or even calm enough, never smart. he couldn't help but feel, sometimes, that it was as if he had been made, then someone had come and taken off a 10% of him. but peko, she was more and more than enough. more than he ever needed, more than he even deserved probably. her waist was large, the layer of fat covering her abdominal muscles and perfectly fitting in his hand as they kissed. and he tasted her sweet saliva, almost drinking it like a desperate man lost in the desert. he could gladly attest that the taste was familiar to him at that point. "uhm... may i...?" he hesitated, unsure, the familiarity of the situation still unable to take away his fear, take away the hesitancy when it came to touching her. it used to be anywhere, he used to be afraid to even lay his hand on her waist, to hold her hand, to touch her face. his family had never been the hugging kind, being rather whatever sat on the exact opposite of that spectrum, and he was pleased to have been started on physical contact with her. but still, he was afraid. he was tentative with his touch, terrified of doing something wrong, of finally touching a place that she didn't want him to, of getting rejected by her. as he mentioned, there was a lot to her, so how could he know? maybe there was a spot, in the back of her knee, or just above her scapula, that she didn't want him to touch, so what would happen if he accidentally did? and he had touched her chest before, of course, but he still couldn't be really sure that maybe the forbidden spot would be just below her right nipple, or on the side of her left breast, and then the magic would be broken. she would get angry at him, ask him who gave him the permission to touch her there, wrap it all up, and the magic would end. so now, like an idiot, he was standing there, unmoving, holding his right hand out, a couple inches away from her white shirt, waiting for her approval. she smiled, just a bit, her "smile" consisting of the ever so slight raising of the two sides of her mouth, that instead of pointing downwards were now almost in a straight line. he loved that smile. she had never shown it to anyone else as far as he knew. she gently grabbed his hand, looking so weak compared to her calloused, tan one, then laid it on her chest. he held his breath, the feeling being exactly the same as the first time he had touched her. or well, the first time she had moved his hand to her chest. and despite having been months by then, it had been a cute ritual of them. or at least, he found it cute. he was pretty sure that she also did. he assumed that she did, he knew her well enough to, but her unreadable expression was a terrible weapon in the hands of the voice that told him that she secretly hated him. he squeezed the mound of flesh resting above his hand, feeling the wire of her bra below the cup. she had slowly been switching her sports bra for cuter ones, something that could be considered out of her character, considering that they were probably less comfortable. realistically, she probably did it for him, but he couldn't be really sure. his hands were trembling when he tried to unbutton her shirt and she didn't fail to notice, despite looking very focused on kissing his neck in a straight line that went from his shoulder up to his ear. she held his hand, her filed, clean nails creating a stark contrast against fuyuhiko's chewed fingers. "what is it, master fuyuhiko?" he blushed and looked away, embarrassed by the honorific, especially in a situation like this. he didn't even like it that much when she did it in mundane situations, this was too much to bear to keep a straight face. "i told you not to..." she kissed the hand she was holding, then gently turned his head until they were facing each other once again. "i know." she "smiled", once again, reassuring him despite maintaining her monotone voice. had he not known so well, he would've let himself get convinced that she was making fun of him. but even if she didn't tell him, her smile signaled to him that she was just having fun. he knew she liked it when he got flustered and, unfortunately, there was nothing but respect for him in her heart. "are you thinking about it again?" had she hated him just a bit, had she known him just a bit less, hadn't she been able to read him so well, he'd like it more. it was easier when people disliked him. he could do the worst of the worst and people would only hate him more. it's very easy to make someone hate you. meanwhile, it was even easier to make someone stop liking you. and he lived in the fear that one day she might. one day she might open her eyes, look around, realize the situation she was in, what he had done, the life his family had forced her to have, and all of the hate that he had deserved would rain on him at once. and there would be no more days like these. well, considering the grave situation they were in, there might actually not be any more days like these soon enough. summer was ending and school was calling. and while she'd be there, perfect, talented, ultimate, he had yet to receive his letter. his father had told him not to worry, that he knew everyone at hope's, down to the janitors that cleaned the classrooms, that he wouldn't allow such low institution to take his bodyguard away, and yet he was still waiting. was he good enough? "i just... what will we do if we don't attend together? i don't want a new bodyguard..." she caressed his head, the buzzed hair probably poking her fingers, and left a kiss on his cheek. "i'm sure your father will find the best of the best of bodyguards." fuyuhiko hit his fist on the bed. "i don't want a new bodyguard, peko. i need you... – he quickly corrected the aim as he realized how pathetic he had just sounded– to protect me..." she shook her head, the conversation had already been had so many times that there was nothing left to say. he didn't need her. not to protect him, at least. it was true, his father was going to find him a new bodyguard that would do his job just as good as peko, the best of all eastern asia probably. the commodity of having her live at their house and the strong bond that they had built was the main reason his family had never considered any replacement, but the moment she expressed the desire to go, replacing her would be a minor inconvenience. because he didn't need her to protect him. he needed her to be at his side, just out of his sight at any given moment, silent, behind him, to his left. he needed her presence, constant, every hour of the day, one word away from him. he would never be able to be without her. "you will be fine. i'm not going anyways." there she was again. he lifted himself up, now sitting upright on the bed and staring at her with a frown. of course she wouldn't. unless he was invited to hope's peak too, she'd never leave him. "you'd be sacrificing your future, peko! that's at least seventy years wasted because i'm a whiny kid! i won't allow you!" she moved until she was kneeling on her legs and their faces were one in front of the other. he already knew that she wouldn't change her mind. "i'm not living to ninety, fuyuhiko." he felt his blood boil as he heard her keen way of avoiding the discussion. her hands were on his shirt now, much less afraid than his had been on hers, her elegant fingers undoing the buttons one by one, slowly. he went to grab her hand, trying to stop her from succeeding at distracting him from the conversation, but her reflexes reacted as fast as a bullet, and she pinned his hand on the wall behind him. he tried to stay focused as his brain only focused on how hot what had just happened had been. he tried to wiggle himself free, but her grip was strong enough to leave him no chance but to surrender to her. "i can do what i want, peko. my father will send you to the school anyways, with or without me. i will make him do it." she was still unbuttoning his white shirt, struggling a bit to only do it with one hand. they were matching, of course, the shirts being custom made in the same place, the only difference being the straight cut of his and the fitted form of her, hugging her curves even more as she was bent down on him. she kissed just above his jawline, then bit his earlobe and sent chills down his spine. the wetness in his trousers was starting to become uncomfortable. she had finished unbuttoning his shirt now, leaving his dirty binder exposed to the air. he knew he didn't really need it, his chest peeking just an inch away from the rest of his torso, nothing but pathetic, tiny mounds resembling mosquito bites more than anything. he had never been enough of a woman just like he was never gonna be enough of a man. he wasn't even sure if he was really gonna insist, force peko away for her own good, if he wasn't that egoistic to ruin her life just to get a few more days of this. she ran her long index on the fabric of the binding, across his chest and down to his pale tummy, as sickly and bony as always. her hand had stopped holding his wrist and had instead turned to holding the appendix itself, their fingers crossed as fuyuhiko desperately tried to remember what they were talking about. "you have to go, peko..." he muttered as the sound of his belt coming undone covered his words. she moved forward to finally kiss him again, then gently positioned him back on his back, laying down, their fingers still intertwined as her right hand dove inside his expensive trousers. she wasn't afraid of him, she knew what to do all of the time, maybe even too well, she read his reactions like a book, knowing what he liked and disliked. he envied her so much. she never hesitated in moments like these, guided by her flawless instincts. he gasped when she grazed his wet folds with her fingers. it was a rather uncomfortable position, her wrist bent unnaturally to reach his opening, but she didn't complain. they could solve this by taking their clothes off but the silent agreement was that no one was ready for that yet. it was almost professional at times, the formality of their relationship clashed with the emotions that they felt for one another and the shame that had permeated their lives was hard to get over. they didn't like being exposed, even to one another. when her two fingers, after circling the opening for a moment, plunged inside of him he yelped, as softly as he could manage. he was still fighting his instinct to moan, though he had learned that it came very hard for him to suppress it. he extended his arm and she immediately moved down to get hugged, their hands still intertwined and her position getting more uncomfortable as she was now kneeling completely over him, her two legs bent to the sides of his body, ass up and face down, her arm bent to reach between his legs. thankfully, due to his body being so reduced in size, it wasn't too hard to keep her movements steady. her lips were all over him again, her boobs grazing his flat chest and her beautiful fingers pushing inside of him with force and making his entire body tingle. she wasn't avoiding his sweet spot, rather focusing on getting as deep as she could, sweetly flustering him and letting him know what she wanted. she wanted him to let go, relax his muscles, give in to her touch, whisper in her ear and ask to be fucked properly. and so did he. he wanted to so bad. abandon himself in the hands of the goddess above him that never seemed to get anything wrong. she knew that the pace she had picked was fast, that this was what he liked, despite being quite hard on her on a physical level and on him on a mental level, his brain already feeling cloudy, struggling to keep his lucidity as her gentle lips seemed to whisper that he was in good hands, he was safe. she knew he could make him come just like that, if he asked, she knew where to press, what to touch, without any stimulation from the outside. just him, her, their locked fingers and her fast pace. but he couldn't. they were alone, he knew that. the door was locked and the people in the house had long figured out what was happening. in true japanese style they hadn't addressed it directly, but had been extra careful as to never catch them doing anything. no one was going to disturb them, walk in on them, even see them, he knew that right there, in that moment, it was only him and her in the whole world. he wasn't dumb, he was able to figure out stuff like this. but he couldn't. the same way he couldn't take his clothes off. he moved his hand to her chest, just above her breasts, still afraid to offend her, halting the moment. she understood before he even talked, he saw it in her eyes. "i..." she didn't let him finish. she left a peck on his lips and with a brisk movement, before fuyuhiko could even realize, their position was switched. he didn't know how it was possible, but now, he was on top on her, his left knee between her legs and the other next to her thighs, her cheek slightly flushed from the sudden movement. her two braids laying around her head, framing her beautiful face. he liked to pretend that she didn't know, that she didn't understand what was going on, that she really just liked to be on the bottom, yet it always went exactly like this. she'd demand, sweet, leading, that he'd let himself go. promising that if he fell, she was there to catch him, but he couldn't. he knew that it would only be the first of his descent, knowing that he was already on the edge, and his father only waiting for him to fail to blow the final strike. fuyuhiko knew his father didn't want him to inherit the clan, no one in his family really did, and they were all waiting. for his first misstep. he couldn't just let himself go. even if his father wasn't there, even if his father would have never known, he couldn't. he had to be strong enough. "i'm... sorry..." she smiled, caring, understanding. without saying a word she had understood everything. she undid the first two buttons of her fitted top and caressed his his cheek. "it's just you and me now." he looked away and smiled, embarrassed. yeah. of course she had understood the situation perfectly. he forced himself to focus on the time being, of the beautiful woman laying below him rather than some relative who hated him. looking back at her, he recognized a new bra, black, lacey, two tiny clasps in the front for a reason he couldn't quite catch. it was different from the others he had seen, the shape being rather straight, the cups looking almost halved, the straps sitting too far apart. she looked at him straight in his eyes, her penetrating stare diving directly into his soul, until he couldn't do anything but stare back. "unclasp it." she said, and he blushed as his hands, started trembling again, fumbling around until he could catch the two ends of the clasps and pulling them together, then away, just as she had taught him. his strong rejection for any sort of bra for himself had made him particularly clumsy when it came to hers, which seemed to get more complicated by the day. she used to take them off herself, back when she wore sports bra, and then had tried, to complete failure, to teach him how to open the traditional ones. this one seemed easier, the clasps being fairly visible, despite being black on black, but not very grabbable, considering his agitation. it was on complete accident, trying to catch the loop that held the garment together, that it accidentally opened by itself, almost exploding in front of him and revealing like a treasure the desired sight. he was amazed. he knew how her boobs looked, but he had never experienced something like that. she blushed, ever so slightly, and he tried to fix his staring, but to no avail. he grazed her nipple, which had hardened being exposed to the cold air, then immediately retreated it as he realized that he hadn't asked for permission. in response, she gestured him to get closer. she moved her mouth up to his ear, leaving a kiss on his earlobe then whispering: "go on". fuyuhiko hesitated before diving his face between them, the plump hugging his face almost completely, almost taking his breath away as he smelled the sweat, probably accumulated from her training session earlier. she was so much. his hands couldn't even grab all of her breasts, spilling over between his fingers as he tried, egoistic, to hold all of her. she breathed hard when he started kissing it, sucking one of her nipples as he kept trying to push her chest together, the fat escaping his fingers like jelly. how could he ever be enough, how could he ever accommodate such wholeness, such perfection? she giggled, watching him struggle, the shame evaporating for just one second, as he bathed into her, trying to smell and touch everything of her, down to her blood, down to her bones. when he recomposed himself, with great hardship, he tried to pretend he wasn't aware of how much he had let himself go, but she only rewarded him with a kiss, sloppy, leading with only tongue and licking his lips and trying to take everything about him. "touch me" she whispered, and he hesitated, unsure where to start. this was just his problem again. he never knew what he was supposed to do first, what the correct order of things was supposed to be, what she meant with touch. was it touch, was it tease, was it take? he struggled, frozen, as he tried to figure out what the ideal first move would be. she raised her bust, just enough to reach his ear, guiding him once again. "first, i need you to take my thighs off." she whispered, and he mentally thanked her, a bit flustered that he hadn't figured it out by himself that he couldn't get anywhere if she had a layer of nylon covering her entire lower body. he did a terrible job at taking them off, failing to understand how to properly grab the thighs without tearing holes in them, but he eventually managed, with some help from her to take them off. he hesitated for one second, keeping his hand one moment too long on her calf, before breaking the contact that he had craved so much. she didn't wait one moment before raising her knee, and he jumped at the sudden contact of her thighs with his excitement, losing the focus for a second. "take my panties off." he stuttered, embarrassed by her bluntness, once again scared that even in doing something so simple he might get something wrong, touch the forbidden place, ruin everything. he decided still to try, deciding that if he had to risk it or lose it, he'd rather fail trying. she was wearing black panties, lacy and matching with her bra, something that he thought couldn't be a coincidence, and he watched them as she moved her legs to ease him. her legs were so long. soft, just enough hair growing back from her last wax, a nice little texture under his hands as he ran it on her shin. her feet, just as polished as her legs, clean, with short, unpolished nails, seemed more beautiful than fuyuhiko could ever be as a whole. he wondered how she'd feel if he got got down to kiss them, worshipping down to her lower parts to show her his devotion. she truly was perfect all over. "now, touch me, lightly, feel me around." she whispered once again, her tone sweet, though ordering, and fuyuhiko felt as if he had no other choice. but he moved back, just one moment, starting at her lifted skirt and admiring the masterpiece she hid all of the time, every day, the one thing that he couldn't stop thinking about every hour of every day. it was all there, exposed, out for him to gaze upon, to feast on with his eyes, to touch. he still waited for a nod from her before moving his middle finger across it, staring from the bottom to the very top, spreading the slick to every part of her. she shuddered, sensitive, despite the light graze. his finger inevitably always landed there, the hole calling his name and asking, gaping, for him. "may i...?" he couldn't resist asking, moving closer with the intention of kissing her again. "fuck me, fuyuhiko." a jolt of excitement ran from his sternum down to his pelvis hearing that, such lewd words pronounced with so much authority, her tone flat as always. he couldn't deny the feeling of anxiety that joined his excitement, hanging on his back, between his two scapulas. this was it. it all depended on this, this was the moment, his final test to prove to her that he was worth it. he was enough, at least for her, at least in one thing he was good, and she would be the one counting on him instead of the contrary. he needed this to go well. he touched the wet hole with the tip of his two fingers, before slowly pushing them inside. peko breathed hard, exhaling through her mouth as he struggled to keep it together. she was so impossibly tight, even with only two fingers, he struggled to move around, a bit frozen by his anxiety, but also adoring of the almost vacuum seal that her body was creating with his hand. he tried to pull his fingers out and he felt himself getting sucked back in. he looked at her for any sign of discomfort, or, well, also to search for a bit of approval, and she smiled, flushed, her usual cold smile that he loved so much. he knew she didn't need to smile, he knew that she was forcing it, not to fake it, but to make sure that he knew that she was okay, that she was happy. she smiled only to him, to reassure him that everything was okay, that she still cared for him. "move." she stated, and he didn't need to hear it twice. he took his fingers out, then pushed them back in, slow. her knee jerked up in reaction, and he found her thigh was now painfully close to this own bits, and he, almost involuntarily, losing control of his body, brushed against it to get a bit of friction. he repeated the movement with his hand, his useless little fingers not being even remotely enough to reach as deep as he wanted. he set a repetitive pace, not slow, but not as insanely fast as she had done to him. "curve your fingers upwards." she gasped, breathing loud and flushing all over. it was a good sign, she liked it. he was good. he did as he was told and she mewled, the first proper sound to leave her mouth as her knee jerked up again and fuyuhiko couldn't resist the sweet feeling of it rubbing on him. he moved once again, with both his fingers and his hips, trying to do both but failing miserably, both the paces becoming erratic and peko's face more tense. he tried to pick up the pace with his fingers, trying to satisfy her instead of just teasing, but he knew he couldn't keep this rhythm going long enough, his stamina being perhaps more pathetic than the voice in his head telling him to simply give up and ride her thigh like a horny dog. not even a horny rottweiler, a horny chihuahua humping the pillow at a stranger's house. he kept doing his job regardless, pushing in and out of her, but inevitably collapsing on her chest from the physical strain of it. she started petting his head, her silent enjoyment of gasps and hard breathing filling the room together with the sloppy sounds of his fingers exploring her wetness. "o-one more..." she ordered, her voice much less firm now, the slight stuttering revealing that yes, he was doing a good job. but despite everything, despite the way she was enjoying herself, he knew she wouldn't come. he had figured she simply was not like him, she needed to be stimulated from the outside, in a certain way, with a certain pace, in a certain point. which translated meant: only she knew how to do it. he had tried, she had tried to guide him through, explain it to him, but ultimately the embarrassment of talking about such things so openly had gotten to him, and it only ended up with him hiding in her chest and contemplating if that situation was worth killing myself to regain his honor. she was too special, and he was not enough. and there was a reason why they were still dressed, awkwardly having to push their garments around to share just a bit of skin. he wondered if maybe his fingers weren't long enough, he dreamed of being able to completely fill her up with himself, touch her cervix, push against it, maybe, in another life, come together at the same time, filling the cavity with his orgasm. but an excuse of a man could only dream, and he watched her hand joining him, from the outside, moving around in circles around her clit. the difference was stark. in a way, this was better. he knew she wouldn't be mad at him because he was this incompetent, she was kissing the top of his buzzed hair and holding his head like a beloved prize, and now he could focus just a bit on the knee between his legs, that was moving together with the rest of her body. she was growing unresting, grabbing his head by the back of his neck, whispering his name, desperate, close, her body trembling. "i-i'm gonna..." she breathed next to him, working herself through her orgasm, his pathetic little fingers almost cramping up while keeping the pace through her squirming as she breathed his name, his surname, his honorifics, everything about him, holding him by his neck and keeping him exactly where she wanted him. it felt good. seeing her come apart and only hearing his name, feeling that it was him, in a way, the reason she had experienced something so good. even if his help was partial. when she came down from it he moved upwards, feeling the need to nest in her arms. it was pathetic, yes, but she was reserved enough to never mention this part of the sex post facto. she never mentioned anything about sex, really, outside of these moments. outside of this room they were back being a bodyguard and her master, exchanging nothing but longing gazes and fleeting touches, constantly desperate for closure to one another despite trying to hide it, even from each other. the most explicit thing they had ever done had been when peko had grabbed his hand, unexpected, hid themselves in the bathroom to kiss, their hands yearning for some parts of the other to touch, even their arm or their back. and now, he wished he had taken off his binder, that hellish device that was creating a layer between their chests, preventing him from feeling her skin, her boobs, her heartbeat against his. he wasn't sure if he was ready yet, though, to take it off. in a way, he still hoped that he saw him as nothing but a man, a generic guy like those you pass on the streets, even after seeing his genitals hundreds of time he felt that if the binder stayed there she wouldn't really know. as if she hadn't known him from the very first moment, as if she wasn't the one who buzzed his hair for the first time, as if she hadn't been the first to know his new name. in a way, he hoped that this facade, this pretending to be something that she knew he was not, would make him enough, at least to her eyes. they stayed there, for an amount of time that could've been from one minute to three hours, silent, hugging each other. she took the initiative, of course, because when did she ever not, raising his face to kiss him deeply, sensual, and he answered with just as much abandonment, trying to conceive his affection for her with just his actions, but he feared it wasn't enough. "may i go on top?" she asked, between kisses, whispering, as if making sure that even if someone was hidden somewhere inside the room, they may not hear it. he hated to admit that she knew how insecure he was. he nodded and once again he found himself in a different position in just a split second, and her between his legs, their pelvis touching in an embarrassed position, as if he was about to receive from her. the idea was so hot that his head spun, but he found it unbearably obscene anyways. what would anyone think, finding him in this position with someone, as if she was the man and not him. he hid his face between his hands and she patted him on his waist, trying to tell him that it was okay, no one was watching. "i need to take your pants off." she stated and he opened his hands just to see her, her apathetic smile trying to reassure him, that it was okay, that they were alone. he nodded and she got to work, until only his disgustingly damp boxers were exposed, and he went back hiding his face. her middle finger touched the elastics, then moved below it and she looked to him to ask for permission to take that off too, only not to find any of his features. "you know this doesn't make you any less of a man, right?" the words stabbed him through his heart. direct as always, peko, and always, always right. the accuracy of her words made him immediately regret ever thinking that hiding would be more honorable than facing the embarrassment with his whole chest. he blushed even more, and tried to sputter an excuse, but nothing but a stuttering "i-i..." came out of him. she used this moment to grab the elastics of his underwear with four fingers, now resting between her palm and his hot skin. "i'm not gonna force you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, m-... fuyuhiko." he shook his head, his body fighting against his mind and asking her to keep going, please, not listen to his pathetic fears and just do it, take him, own him. "please...?" he looked away, embarrassed, but she smirked and quickly lowered his boxers, exposing his unshaven privateness. she took the garment off too, and now fuyuhiko was glad to still have his binder and his shirt, something resembling clothes on his upper body, not fully exposed to her. she was too good. she knew how to read all of his desires like he had a goddamn screen on his forehead flashing his thoughts and she never feared acting on them. she was too much for him, he would never reach her level, it just wouldn't be fair for her to put them even to comparison. she didn't need permission, she already knew the answer, and yet she always did, knowing that his fucked up brain was more of an obstacle than his desires. she removed her glasses, laying them on the floor beside them, calm and collected as always, then without hesitation she moved down, until she was laying on her stomach, her face between his raised legs as she held him by his thighs. her breath only was enough to make him shudder, the anticipation killing him. "may i-" he couldn't bear any more words about it, afraid that his fear might catch up to him and make him run away from that moment, and interrupted her to say. "just do it." it was a bit meaner than he intended but he was desperate. he needed her to touch him, make him feel ways that no one else ever could, do whatever she was that was pure magic, like a drug to his mind. she didn't hesitate one more moment before diving between his legs, her tongue licking him across and kissing between his folds. fuyuhiko's eternal fight against his own instincts started again, as the sounds in the back of his throats started begging to be let out, pushing against his vocal chords and causing him to mewl like an out of tune kitten. his hand ran to the bedding, grabbing it as hard as he could, his hand hovering around her head in a desperate attempt to hold her hair, but he didn't want to hurt her. or destroy her beautiful braids in a way. she started sucking on his clit, the feeling so intense he started squirming, needing to both get away from the touch and go deeper, the excitement pooling at the bottom of his stomach and his hips grinding against her face. her fingers moved back to his opening and he yelped, only to blush right after from the embarrassment, as she broke into him, once again, trying to reach the end of him. it wasn't hard to find, there was not enough of him even when it came to his canal, that was probably not more than ten centimeters long, and she began hitting it mercilessly, something that made him whine like a hurt dog. she looked up, locking her eyes with his, her busy mouth not stopping for a moment and he got worried for a moment about the vulgar expressions he might be assuming. she noticed his hand, his fist closed and desperately trying to stop himself from holding onto her and she stopped for a moment, without moving from her position, to say, calmly: "hold onto my hair. you can hurt me, master fuyuhiko." she punctuated her sentence with a particularly deep thrust, probably a sick game of her to see how flustered he could get, and the first, real moan escaped his lips. she smirked, content, then went back to her job, alternating between moving her tongue across his sweet button and sucking on it. he wanted to die, for a moment, unsure how a sound like that could ever leave his mouth, but he quickly forgot about it, the permission to grab her hair allowing him to establish the first connection with her. the honorific, so unnecessary, so ironic considering how much in her hands he was, as she controlled his life and death, his pleasure and despair. was she really below him in situations like these? he had just made him moan, goddamn it. his head was getting cloudy again and he couldn't even care anymore about the implications of what was happening, everything was peko, her hands, her lips, her tongue, her hair. there was nothing else in the world and he found himself letting go, just a little, bits of sounds, half moans, leaving his mouth because he didn't care anymore. there was truly only her in the world. as he got closer he tried to tighten his legs around her, trying to gain just a bit of space, away from that escalating and intoxicating crescendo of pleasure. he barely had any control of his body anymore, squirming, thrusting, grinding, anything just to get just an inch more of her, one centimeter closer to her being as a whole. his orgasm came too early, he felt it take over him and he muttered a pitiful "can i...?" he wasn't sure what he needed her approval for, he just knew he did, probably something about the anxiety of doing something wrong, as if that could ever be wrong. she looked at him in his eyes again to nod, focused and imperative and he let himself go. he came hard, his voice raising to a worrying level, the sounds coming out of him so wretched but for a moment, just these instants, he didn't care. he didn't care if someone heard him, if they walked in on him in that position, if they thought that he looked desperate, indecent, depraved, he didn't give a fuck. there was only peko, nothing else, not even the bed below his back. he moaned her name, tightened his fist around her hair, probably hurting her and tearing some out, but he didn't care. and when he came down, he stayed there, unmoving, blissful. she moved until she laid next to him as he caught his breath and caressed his head. it slowly dawned on him that he had been a true embarrassment, almost an insult to the fuyuhiko name, but he refused to let his dad's voice inside of his head ruin this moment. it felt good. still, he moved back to grab his boxers, putting them on despite the disgusting implications of wearing something so dirty. he needed at least one protective layer, his soul was already naked enough when he was with her. he turned to look at her, still dazed, she had put her glasses back on and she was smiling, the comfort of her forced expressions to calm his nerves. but he didn't need them, deep down he knew that what they had was real, that even if they didn't say it, she was thinking the same thing. i love you, he thought, and he looked at her, trying to send it to her mind with his mind, and for a moment he was sure she received it.
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