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Another low-born sacrificed in her name today. I've been told that this will bring her gaze to our house, and for that she will find us worthy tools. I’m not sure if I believe it. I’ve lost track of how many lives I’ve taken, and yet we are still spit upon by the matriarchs of even our own house. Perhaps Lolth tests us, or perhaps she requires something greater. I’m no stranger to the smell of a freshly burnt corpse, or their screams as my blade slides through their body. I’ve taken lives while they slept, while they were awake, it didn’t matter. But now it felt like I was floating. Hell, where do I start? Another life taken today. A woman. The blows to her body thrilled me, her blood splattering on the altar she was tied to. I waited till she was almost dead, her ribcage visible through her scar covered skin. I could barely hear her whispered please for mercy.
“Oh mother dearest, I'm just repaying what you did to me. A sacrifice. Blood spilled. You sold me hours after I was born. So glad you made it out of the lower castes by the way. Unfortunately- you won’t get to experience it. Now - to finish this I suppose. Although I am quite enjoying that look of fear in your eyes mother dearest” that was when I slit her throat, the last of her blood pooling into the bowl upon the altar. The picture of her lifeless body burned into my head. She deserved it.
I know The Matriarchs would never forgive me. Lolth would never forgive me. I don’t know if they'll hunt me down, but I don't need them anyway. Not that I’ve met Him now.
It’s been some time since I last opened this journal. I don’t know why I’ve kept it with me all this time. I suppose it’s all I have left of home. Lucifer has granted me powers. Some kind of animal attacked me. I didn’t even think before I used one of the powers. Arms of Hader I believe it was. All I could see when I looked at its decayed corpse were the twisted faces of my parents. The feeling was exhilarating, although I haven't taken another life since.
I go by Vaeleen now. A name that is truly my own.