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Joel stepped offstage, immediately letting his shoulders sag. Their third show of the tour had gone well, but he hadn’t expected it to be this exhausting after only three shows. His arms ached after drumming so hard, ears hurting even with the headphones he wore. He flopped onto the couch in their dressing room, leaning his head against the back. Jimmy sat beside him, looking equally as tired. Grian stood in front of them, crossing his arms.
“Don’t be—“ he started before his voice broke. Grian cleared his throat. “Don’t be dramatic.”
”I’ll be as blummin’ dramatic as I want,” Joel grumbled, dropping his drum sticks on the table next to him. “Even your voice hurts.”
”My voice doesn’t hurt.” Or so Grian claimed, meanwhile it sounded like he had been put through a cheese grater. Joel scoffed at that.
It was their first time on tour, opening for a larger band called Gem and the Scotts. The three of them had been ecstatic when they had gotten the offer, accepting immediately. It was for two months around Europe, taking flight after flight and riding train after train. Joel didn’t mind much, the opportunity had sounded fun and gave them an outlet to advertise their band. Hopefully at least one person went home afterwards and started listening to them.
He liked most of Gem and the Scott’s team. Gem, the lead singer and guitarist, was nice enough, as was her girlfriend Pearl. Impulse, the drummer, had even given him a few professional tips (he had gone to proper lessons whereas Joel had taught himself). There was one person, however, that he wasn’t the biggest fan of.
Scott.
Scott with his annoyingly blue hair and manicured nails and dumb perfect eyeliner. Scott with his taunts he pointed at Joel and how he could make him blush so easily and how he wormed himself into Joel’s thoughts late at night. It was stupid. Scott was stupid. And too hot for his own good. Not that Joel cared, but it was annoying.
“I’m going for a smoke,” he announced to his bandmates, pushing himself off the couch. Jimmy simply nodded at him, draping himself over the space Joel had previously occupied. Grian scoffed but made no move to stop him, simply pushing Jimmy out of the way. Joel snickered, grabbing the half-finished cigarette pack he had discarded earlier. It only took walking down two hallways to get to the back exit.
Joel took one cigarette out of the pack, stuffing the rest back in his pocket. He leaned back against the stone wall. It was cold out, so much so that he could see his own breath as he fumbled with the lighter. The flame clicked to life, singeing his finger slightly. Joel yelped, almost dropping it onto the icy sidewalk.
He took a deep breath in, taking the cigarette out of his mouth to watch the smoke waft into the air. Joel absently thought about how he should have grabbed a sweatshirt because the thin skull t-shirt he was wearing did nothing against the cold.
The door clicked open again. Joel turned his head to see who it was, only to catch sight of Scott. Of all the people to join him in the cold, it had to be him. Joel scoffed softly. “What are you doing out here?”
“Pre-show nerves,” Scott answered casually, making sure the door shut before turning towards Joel. He refused to look back.
“Liar. You love the attention, there’s nothing to be nervous about.”
“Lots to be anxious about, actually. Though I wouldn’t believe it if you told me you’ve felt anything other than a general hatred for your whole life.”
“I don’t hate everything.” Joel turned, finally, to glare at Scott. He, unfortunately, was still hot. For a moment, Joel let his eyes roam Scott’s features. Down his shoulder length hair, across his exposed collarbones, up to his lips and nose and eyes. He looked vaguely entertained. “I just hate you.”
“Give me a cigarette.” It wasn’t an ask; it was a command.
“No.”
“Joel.” And goddamnit, the way Scott said his name made Joel weak in the knees. It shouldn’t have. He hated Scott. He hated how his stupid voice could go from soft to assertive in a split-second.
Joel took out the pack and flipped it open for Scott to take one out.
Before taking one, Scott used the hairband from around his wrist and tied his hair into a ponytail. Joel had never seen it up before, and the way Scott had done it without any regard for the front pieces left several strands hanging around his ears. Joel hid his blush with another drag, mentally telling himself it was from the cold.
“C’mere,” Scott whispered. Joel frowned, but stepped closer to Scott. Scott took the cigarette from his hand, placed it between his lips and did the same to Joel, tapping Joel’s half-used cigarette against his mouth. Joel opened, rolling his eyes. Scott pressed the tips of their cigarettes together, effectively lighting his, before leaning back.
He assumed the same position as Joel, back against the wall. Joel just stared at him for a moment.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” he finally got out.
“I don’t.” Scott breathed out, gray clouds rolling out of his mouth. “Just wanted to see how flustered I could get you.”
Joel laughed weakly. “Not at all.”
“That’s debatable, honey. I can see the blush.”
“It’s cold.” Joel didn’t miss the pet name, rather skillfully chose to ignore it. “People tend to get red in the cold. Are you stupid enough that you didn’t know that?”
Scott snickered quietly. “Are you stupid enough to not catch the hints? Do I have to dull it down for you?”
“What?”
“Christ.” Scott blew out another smoke cloud. “You really are stupid.”
“Am not!” Joel threw his cigarette on the ground, stomping on it to snuff out the embers. “What’re you on about?”
Scott shifted so he stood in front of Joel, virtually trapping him against the wall. Joel sneered. His heart rate picked up, slamming against the inside of his chest.
“You seriously don’t know?” Scott sighed. “Let me spell it out for you: I’m flirting, Joel.”
“What?” He asked for a second time, mind going blank. Scott wasn’t flirting. He was just… pushing back against Joel’s teases. Ignoring the pet names and long stares and small points of lingering contact, it was all normal stuff. Things that people who didn’t like each other would normally say because they didn’t have crushes on each other. Normally.
“With that out of the way,” Scott drawled like he hadn’t just sent Joel into a spiral of emotions. “Do you want to try flirting back, or are the threats of violence your way of saying you like me?”
“Uh,” Joel stammered. “You’re—you’ve got to be pullin’ my leg. You’re flirting with me?” Joel honestly was finding it hard to believe. “Have you seen Jimmy, dude? Or—or Grian? Me?”
Scott snickered again. “Yes, you. I’d say you’re the best looking out of the three of you. And the most aggressive." Scott took a small step forward. He was so close to Joel now, eyes darting down to his lips. He smelled like smoke and cherry blossoms. “I like my men aggressive, you know.”
Joel swallowed. “Yeah?”
“Mhmm.” Scott seemed to consider him for a moment. “But I also like when they know how to draw back and let me lead.” He brought up a hand to grab Joel’s chin and force him to retain eye contact. “You know how to do that, don’t you honey?”
Without thinking, Joel nodded. Scott was right there, in front of him. It would be so easy to lean forward just a little bit…. Joel didn’t, he was too scared that Scott would pull away and exclaim that it was all a joke, but he thought about it.
(Joel realized that he did, in fact, not hate Scott.)
“Can I kiss you?”
“You better fucking kiss me, idiot.”
Scott pressed forward, capturing Joel’s lips with his and pushing his head back against the wall. Joel gasped into the kiss, forcing himself back against Scott and wrapping his arms around his neck. It felt new, exciting, dangerous to be kissing Scott. If they got caught, Joel would never hear the end of it. It was exhilarating.
Kissing Scott was nothing like Joel would have thought. It was rough, like he was trying to take as much of Joel as he could. It felt less like an act of love and more like a confession, a secret whispered in the cold November air.
Joel pulled back for a second to catch his breath before diving back in. It was addicting, the way Scott tilted his head at the right angle and bit at Joel’s bottom lip and kept his face where he wanted it with the hand still gripping his chin. He would have happily stayed forever—no matter how cold it was—but Scott pulled away eventually. Their breath mixed in front of them, making Joel’s face warmer that it already was.
Scott brought the forgotten cigarette back to his lips, taking a drag and blowing it out.
“Hot,” Joel muttered, pulling Scott back into a quick kiss.
“Nice to hear you say what you actually think of me.” Scott dropped the cigarette, not bothering to put it out. “Anymore compliments before I have to get onstage?”
Right. Scott had a show. A show that was probably starting very soon. “I could tell you that you’re fucking annoying.”
Scott tsks. “Feel free to shut me up anytime.” He pulled away fully, taking his hair out of the ponytail and producing a lip gloss tube from his pocket, reapplying it. “Especially if you think of anything other than your tongue to shove down my throat.”
Joel flushed and looked away, running a hand down his face. “Go do your show, asshole.”
“Seeya, sweetheart.”
Joel followed a minute after, staying just offstage to watch the performance. He caught Scott’s eye more than once, rewarded with smug grins and the occasional wink (especially during the songs Scott sang). Once he waved goodbye to the crowd and stepped foot backstage, Joel was grabbing his arm and leading him away from it all, intent on keeping Scott busy for a while.