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Geto Suguru was not a jealous man. Except he was.
Naturally, the one person who could make him realise that was one Gojo Satoru. That, in an of itself, was a problem, one he'd hoped he could ignore or get away with for a while longer.
Then came the second of Suguru's problems, Patrick, or as he liked to call him, Patrick the Prick.
Why was Patrick a problem? Because he was all Satoru could talk about and Suguru simply could not take another rant about how nice, and lovely and easygoing and smart Patrick was, he’d kill somebody… Himself most likely.
Patrick the Prick had to go, one way or another, that's what Suguru decided after he started daydreaming about strangling Satoru if he mentioned Patrick to him one more time. He had a simple plan, go to Patrick and tell the Prick to shove off. Easy enough. Except it wasn't.
It wasn't, because Suguru has a third problem : he had no fucking clue who Patrick the Prick was.
To his knowledge, Patrick the Prick was just a mysterious individual whose name came out of Satoru's mouth one day and hadn't left since. It was simply enraging that for all Satoru talked about him, Suguru knew nothing useful about Patrick the Prick. He should at least know his last name by now, but no, instead the only thing he got was Patrick's alleged strawberry allergy. How Satoru got to that level of expertise in his knowledge of Patrick the Prick, Suguru really didn't want to know.
No, what he wanted was Patrick out of Satoru's mouth.
And, since he had no plan, no idea who Patrick was and no help from Shoko, who simply devolved into an hysteric fit of laughter when he tried to talk to her about his Patrick problem, he resolved to go and ask Satoru directly. But he couldn't be too direct about it, or he might just trigger another Patrick fueled rant which he would get nothing out of except anger and jealousy, apparently.
Luckily for Suguru, he only needed a last name and an address, or any location, and Satoru was easily bribed. A choco-mint ice cream will do nicely.
'Yo, Satoru!' he called out to the white-haired teen lounging in the shade of the bushiest tree of the school. 'I got you that frozen toothpaste you call ice cream.' It was no secret to anyone that Satoru was touchy when it came to his favorite foods, Suguru could see from afar the easy smile that had started to form on Satoru's face turn into his signature frowny, pouty face. He was so predictable.
'You say that every time, and yet I've never even seen you try it. One should not speak on things they do not know, Suguru.' The way his name rolled off Satoru's tongue got him momentarily distracted and he cursed himself immediately for it.
'Got nothing to say for your defense, eh?' Satoru goaded him.
'I'm not having this conversation again with you, I've already told you I won't try it.' He replied, handing Satoru his nasty ice cream.
'Your loss, you taste-bud-less individual.' Suguru didn't want to rise to the bait, but it was just too easy.
'Well, not everyone was born into riches and fine foods, mister Nepo-Princess.'
'Come on, Suguru, all Princesses are nepo babies, that's literally how it works. You can do better than that.' And damn it, he made a good point. He hated when Satoru did that, because the only answer he could ever come up with then was an undignified hmf.
They ate their ice creams in silence after that. It was rare for them to ever get moments of peace like this one, just the two of them, they were always traveling everywhere across Japan, mission after mission, curse after curse, and the monstrous taste the curses left on Suguru's tongue never faded. And when they weren't chasing after curses, or in class, Suguru didn't spend that much time alone with Satoru, especially since he'd started watching a new medical show with Shoko on his off days.
But here, under the rustling leaves of the millennium tree, in the fading heat of the late summer, with the cool caress of the wind on his skin and Satoru's citrusy smell intertwining with the light fragrance of hibiscus flowers, Suguru could almost forget the lingering nightmarish taste.
'I bet Patrick would eat choco-mint ice cream with me.' Satoru muttered in-between bites (yes, bites), and brought Suguru right back to his plan. Now was as good an opportunity as any.
'I'm sure you would be delighted. He sounds like the perfect guy, you should marry him.' It was extremely blunt, and not really the degree of subtlety he was going for, but Satoru had always had a talent for screwing up his plans.
'That's stupid, why would I do that?' Satoru's raised eyebrow disappeared behind his bangs. But beyond the confusion clearly painted on his features, there was some kind of bafflement, like he genuinely didn't think Suguru was capable of saying something so stupid. It irritated him, but he had to keep his goal in mind.
'Well maybe he has a good last name, strong, something better than Gojo.'
Satoru pondered on his answer, seemingly deciding if he should be offended or not.
'Hmm, well you're not wrong, on principle, except I already know which last name I want to replace mine.' He winked at Suguru from above his sunglasses, proof that he hated his clan enough to not be offended by Suguru's jab.
'Oh, and Patrick's last name is not up to your standards then?' Suguru knew he was insisting too much for this to pass as a regular conversation between him and Satoru, but if he stopped and brought up Patrick's last name again later, it would be worse.
'More like he doesn't have a last name, you should know that.' Satoru answered matter-of-factly.
'And how could I possibly know that, hm? I don't even know Patrick.' Satoru chocked on his ice cream at that.
'What do you mean you don't know Patrick?!' Satoru was getting worked up, he looked downright outraged, and Suguru was completely lost. This is not at all how he'd expected the conversation to go. 'You seem him all the time! Most certainly even more than me!'
'What do you mean?! I never even knew Patrick existed before you started talking about him after that hell of a mission in Sendai!'
Satoru didn't answer. He was looking at Suguru like a complex puzzle he was trying to solve.
Until suddenly, he gasped…
'Oh. My. God,' is all he said. And when he didn't add anything, Suguru burst.
'WHAT?'
Instead of giving him the answer he desperately needed, Satoru chuckled. He chuckled until he was laughing and kept going crescendo until he was almost rolling around on the grass, clutching his stomach. Satoru's laughter was very contagious, and it took everything for Suguru to not join in on the amusement.
After a few minutes, which might as well have been years for Suguru, Satoru settled a little and took off his glasses to wipe the tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.
'Are you ready to tell me what's going on now?' Suguru asked in the most monotone voice he could manage.
Satoru held up a finger to say 'Give me a minute.' And finally, he talked.
'Suguru, who do you think Patrick is?' Now he was talking to him like he would a toddler, crouching and with his hands together.
'I'm not a child, Satoru, get to the point.'
'This is the point, just answer the question.' He looked at Suguru expectedly.
'Fine,' he grumbled, 'Patrick the Prick-' he slipped and Satoru smiled, 'I mean, Patrick, is some random, possibly imaginary, guy you started fawning over three weeks ago after the Sendai mission, whom I've never seen and definitely never met' he emphasized, 'so I'd like the know why you keep looking at me like I'm crazy.'
Satoru closed his eyes and nodded, the universal language for 'I see'.
'Right, okay.' He started. 'I am going to hold you hand when I say this.' He did, and Suguru almost combusted. He was so focused on not letting the blush creep up his neck, ears, and cheeks that he almost did not register what Satoru said after. 'Patrick is your curse dragon.'
Instantly the blush was gone, even though his hands were still gently clasped between Satoru's and he was looking at him straight in the eyes, unwaveringly.
The words kept playing back in his head, Patrick is your curse dragon, Patrick is your curse dragon, Patrick… is… your… curse dragon. PATRICK IS-
'Oh. My. God.' He whispered. 'Oh. MY-'
'And there we have it.' Satoru patted his hand, as if to say 'Good job'. He was very expressive.
'But- but you said he-' Suguru stuttered. It made no sense, all this time, Satoru had been talking about the curse dragon?! But he babbled on and on about him like he was a human being! How-
'My, my, my poor Suguru, are you jealous of your pet curse dragon?'
Now it was Suguru's turn to choke.
'Am I what?! Wait. No, backtrack. Patrick is my curse dragon?'
'Yes, it's what I just said, don't dodge the question, Suguru, it's unbecoming of you.' He smirked. That bastard dares smirk.
'But, what about all your talk of Patrick being this perfectly nice, lovely, easygoing and, and, and smart being?' It made no sense to Suguru.
'Well he is all of that, in the way that a dog is loyal or friendly? I don't know what you want me to say.'
To be honest, he didn't either, but he had a feeling that beyond this absurd turn of events, he really, really didn't want to think about the fact that he had been so caught up in his jealousy that had not been able to tell the difference between a person and a curse dragon. Satoru definitely caught on though, and Suguru wanted to run and hide, this time he wouldn't be able to fight his blush.
'Oooooi! Lovebirds!'
Suguru turned to see Shoko standing at the bottom of the hill. He was saved!
'Oi Shoko! Guess what!' Satoru yelled back at her.
Or was he?
'Suguru thought Patrick was an actual person!' He definitely was not saved. Shoko was never going to let him live this down.
'You and Haibara owe me so much money!' She yelled. 'Suguru, be glad I'm not my way out! I'll see you in two days!' Suguru shivered, he knew a threat when he heard one.
Shoko waved at them as she left. And it was just him and Satoru again.
'Is there anything I can do to erase this afternoon from everybody's memories?'
'I can't believe you were so jealous of Patrick you didn't even realise he's not human.' Satoru marveled, completely ignoring Suguru's plea. 'I also can't believe you didn't catch my very obvious and embarrassing attempt at flirting with you.' He sighed.
'When did you ever do that?'
'It is very ungentlemanly to ask a lady to embarrass herself, Suguru.' He answered, berating him, before conceding. 'I told you I already knew which last name I wanted to replace my own, I meant yours, dummy.'
'Oh.'
Oh.
'You're not going to say anything?' Satoru asked rhetorically, as Suguru's face told him clearly that he was too stunned to speak. 'Wow, I have to do everything myself. You know what Suguru, there is one thing you could do to erase the beginning of this afternoon from my memory…' Suguru stared at him, unsure of where Satoru was going with this. 'You could kiss me.' He concluded with a smile.
A smile so bright Suguru couldn't possibly resist the offer.
*
The story behind Satoru and Suguru's first kiss was Shoko's favorite one to tell.