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Mac had just turned off the shower when he heard signs that Dennis was already doing his nighttime routine at the bathroom mirror. He took a deep breath as he shook his head and ran his hands through his wet hair. It wasn't odd for them both to use the bathroom at the same time, although Mac was a little surprised that Dennis was already in there. Then again, he was probably wishing for this day to just be over with. Mac had a brief vision of Dennis laying awake for many hours after they said good night, fixating on every detail of how things had gone wrong at the rehearsal dinners.
Mac knew he couldn't make it better and that he'd be foolish to try, but he still felt some things needed to be said before they parted ways for the night.
He reached his arm out of the shower and grabbed the towel without looking, dried off his hair and then moved down his body. The towel wasn't coming away orange, so he figured most of the tanning lotion had washed away. When he had mostly dried off, he peaked out the curtain and grabbed the clothes he had brought to change into. It was just some clean boxers and a thin sleeveless shirt. As he ducked back in the shower to change, he figured it was better to say something sooner than later, and plus he could use the privacy of the shower curtain to feel more brave.
"Dennis?" He started.
When Dennis answered, "What, Mac?" Mac realized he had spoken much louder than Dennis had and winced, just another reason for Dennis to be annoyed.
He tried to speak softer next. "I didn't mean to make you mad." He paused, pulling the shower curtain open and drying off his hair one more time. He hung his towel back on the rack, and turned towards the mirror, where his eyes met Dennis' reflection. "I thought I was doing good. I don't know how to be more better."
Dennis waited a moment or so before he replied, "You should know better by now."
Mac looked down, expression growing sad, ashamed. "Yeah I guess I should… You're right. I tried though, Den. I really tried."
Dennis sighed but didn't respond. tending to his face, switching from cleansers to creams. He was in an old T-shirt and boxer briefs— almost ready for bed, apparently.
"I mean, I told them I was straight. I thought that would work."
"You did say that…. And it backfired. Terribly."
"I did everything I could to be straight. Maybe I just can't hide it anymore."
Dennis laughed bitterly. "Maybe you never could hide it. Everyone always knew, Mac."
Mac pouted. "Well this time I pretended for you. I thought it would make you happy. But nothing makes you happy. "
"This was a disaster."
"They liked me."
"You lied to them."
"Yeah I did, but they didn't believe that anyway. But they liked me cause I'm bad ass. They thought I was cool. That was all me."
"No. They thought you were funny."
"Eh, close enough."
"You're not a stuntman. You almost got electrocuted, dumb ass."
Mac pouted as he exited the bathroom, passing beside Dennis. He lingered near the doorway, just barely in Dennis' room, trying to think of what he could say. He wanted to defend himself, and it took a lot of self control not to. Mostly, he wanted to cheer Dennis up, but on a day like this that was a hell of a battle. Hopefully he could at least mitigate the damage, as much as he could.
Dennis spoke up again, before Mac came up with anything. Dennis' voice wavered at first, while his fingers poked and prodded at any imperfection they could find. Mac noticed this after he crossed to the bed and sat at the foot, carefully. As he faced Dennis, Mac wanted to tell him the wrinkles suited him, which may in itself be a losing battle.
Dennis said: "They called me a fucking vampire. Like I'm old… decrepit… used up."
"C'mon, Den, vampires are super sexy. Everyone knows that. I think it's a compliment."
"They think I'm like…. the crypt keeper. Said I was scary."
"He wasn't even a vampire, dude. C'mon. They only said that cause of your scary face tape."
"Scary? You told me I needed more. You— and Dee— conspiring against me! I should have known! No one has my back." This was the most heated Dennis had sounded since everyone had left. Mac's heart pounded as he desperately hoped not to make it worse. "I'm sick of being the butt of everyone's joke."
"Calm down, Den. We were just joking. It was funny in the moment. I didn't realize you were taking it so seriously."
"I did everything I could to make you all take this seriously, but it was all a wasted effort," Dennis spat bitterly.
Mac forced himself to sound calm. "Man, I really think Charlie is right. We should just be us, who cares."
"Well… " He sighed, having to remind himself as much as Mac. "It's not like there's gonna be cameras here anytime soon."
"No… Well, besides…" Mac gestured to Dennis' dresser, where his video cameras were expertly hidden. But of course, Mac would be well aware where they were. "Always on camera, right?"He gave a cheeky grin but his eyes were wide and nervous, like a cornered dog.
Mac was clearly trying to lighten the mood with a joke. But much like Dee's attempts at humor, Dennis did not find it funny. However, he finally stopped picking apart his face and wiped his hands on a towel.
"Frank knew we couldn't swing it," Dennis said, facing away from Mac. This thought had clearly been weighing on him.
"Man, fuck Frank, that was a bitch move."
"Frank would never care enough to show us off. He never cared about us at all."
"Frank is an asshole, Den. Always has been. We don't need him."
"He pays for everything. He basically owns the bar… owns us."
"Yeah but… he's not really in control. We'll just keep using him for his money, as much as we can, to do whatever we want."
"Sometimes I think he's why I'm so fucked up. He made me this way. Fucked up like him."
"You're not like him, Den. Not really."
Dennis was quiet as he finished up in bathroom and turned out the light. Then he leaned against the doorframe, watching Mac in a casual facade.
"No one knows me like you do," Mac began, relatively quietly.
"God help me." Dennis rolled his eyes but was not sounding quite as harsh as earlier.
"Sometimes I think I know you really well," Mac continued, fingers twisting together between his hands. "At least more than most people. But uh, I know I miss some of it…." He took a deep breath and then paused before continuing, "I feel like such a dumb ass when I can't figure it out. I should know you more better by now. We spend every day together… almost."
Dennis sighed and rubbed his temples. "Mac, I can't do this right now. I just need to relax, okay?"
"It's just… even though I don't, uh, always get it. I don't want you to think you're alone. 'Cause you're not alone. You've always got me. Best friends." He was apprehensive at first, but soon a grin spread over his cheeks and he loosened the grip of his hands and gestured to either side, a pale imitation of jazz hands, as if presenting himself to Dennis.
"I know, Mac. Uh… thanks."
"I just want you to be happy, Den."
Dennis didn't meet Mac's eyes. Glancing just over Mac's head, he looked fragile. However, he had been teetering around there ever since his initial recovery from the dramatic speech and focus group fallout.
Mac was still sitting at the foot of Dennis' bed as Dennis approached the head of it, clearly ready to turn in. He didn't say anything to Mac as he lifted his sheets and slipped between them. Usually he would have told Mac to get out already or at least move off the bed. Mac was hesitant but took the present lack of that instruction to mean it was worth waiting. Maybe Dennis didn't want to be alone just yet. Maybe Mac could still help. It was worth a try, at least, until he inevitably got kicked out.
"You going to sleep?" Mac asked timidly.
"Not yet," Dennis replied which was enough of a reason for Mac to chance staying there. Dennis' feet stretched out and he playfully kicked Mac on his hip. He turned towards Dennis and lifted his hand to rest on an ankle over the sheets.
"I know today sucked. I tried to be good… I wanna be good for you, Dennis." His wide eyes shone, growing wet as he spoke.
Dennis sighed. Why did Mac have to look so young still? He looked too pure and innocent for someone capable of his annoying, destructive ways. "I know, Mac. I know."
"It's never enough for you. Why do we always have to pretend we're other people? We aren't like other people. We're us."
"I don't know, Mac." Dennis answered honestly. He sounded weary. "Why don't you come up here?"
"What?"
"Come up here, next to me." He gestured to the free half of the bed. The proposition was inviting as fuck. Mac almost didn't trust it. But he took his chances, walking around to the other side of the bed and even slipping under the blanket and sheets.
Dennis turned out the lamp beside him, and as the darkness settled they stayed silent and still.
Eventually, as their eyes adjusted to the dark room, Dennis murmured. "Mac?"
"Yeah, Dennis?"
"Just be quiet for a few minutes, okay?"
"Uh, oka-ay?" Mac said, obviously confused. A couple of seconds later, he felt the mattress shift and Dennis move closer. "Oh," he exhaled, once Dennis wrapped a arm around Mac's torso and pressed his face into Mac's chest, feeling warm and solid through the thin fabric of his shirt.
Mac stayed quiet, even though his mind was running fast. Before long though, something unexpected happened: His thoughts became less frantic as Dennis stayed there against him, as their breathing slowed and synced and they both seemed to calm down.
It made Mac's heart ache to experience how good this felt. He knew how vulnerable Dennis must be to initiate this kind of contact, and so he held on tightly to Dennis' back, keeping him in place, keeping them pressed together.
In no time, Dennis was curled up even closer against Mac, arms clinging to him, reaching up to his shoulders.
Mac kept holding on tightly, focusing on even breaths and the sensation of shared warmth.
He didn't know if Dennis was counting on continued silence, but eventually Mac's thoughts wandered to the day's events and he felt the need to speak, "I think you're beautiful. Just like this. You don't need tape or anything."
Dennis scoffed, turning his face to his side to speak clearly. "I had makeup on earlier and you still called me old."
"You're always beautiful. You can be beautiful and not young. We're not that young anymore, but we, y'know, still got it."
"I don't want you to think you were right"
"But I am right? You're stunning."
"Mac, I mean about… acting like we're together. I don't want you holding it over my head that we're here right now."
"Then, I won't expect more, if that's what you mean. I'm happy just being with you… however you want. I just… it's like… I can't exactly help the way I think about you, Den. It's almost like I… forget the right words to use. Cause you're like… my partner…. In most every way. Just not like that kind of partner. But like… you know? We're a package deal and…"
"Mac… stop."
"What?"
"You're just going on and on and… I can't… just…"
"What do you want me to do? I can shut up? Or do you want me to go away or—"
"No, just stay here for now, okay? Just… I failed. Big time. Okay?" He half mumbled his next words, already obscured by him turning of his face back into Mac's chest. "I want it to be okay. That I failed. It doesn't feel like it's okay."
"That shit doesn't matter, Den," Mac replied confidently. "It's totally gonna be okay."
"You think so?"
"Definitely. We're never even gonna see any of those people again. Mark my words."
For all Mac's faults and ignorance, Dennis chose to believe him, at least for the night. He needed reassurance. He didn't know how to trust anyone enough to ask them and believe them. Well he usually didn't. Mac wasn't doing too bad so far tonight.
Mac started stroking Dennis' hair, softening it by combing out product as he pet him. Dennis knew it should be too much to allow, but he let it happen. It felt good. He couldn't remember anyone ever doing this to him— maybe one of his nannies had a long, long time ago.
Mac was familiar with touching Dennis' hair, as he dyed it regularly— which Dennis could tell Mac enjoyed; it was its own version of intimate. However this was a different sensation, a different feeling even. What had gotten Dennis so over-saturated with feelings lately? He couldn't even play this role right on-and-off for a month. What had happened to him? He used to have everything so well under control hadn't he? Even recently, he had been deep breathing and unclawing left and right. This whole Golden Bachelor thing had really gotten to their heads (but most of all his.)
"It's really okay," Mac eventually continued. "Now we don't have to pretend anymore."
Dennis snorted at that comment. Mac paused, as if waiting for more of a response.
Dennis felt like he had to pretend all the time. Every day. Just to be… a regular person. A regular guy— what he had to convince everyone he encountered and often even himself. He knew he couldn't be honest about this though, not with anyone. Not even with Mac.
Eventually Mac spoke again, strangely clued in. "You don't have to pretend right now, okay? Not in here. You can do whatever you want. It's just us here, Den. You're not gonna scare me away. Not at this point. I even locked the front door tonight, because of all the strangers, so y'know. It's really just us. I promise. It's safe."
Dennis did not have much of a reaction right away, besides pressing himself closer to Mac. His arm tightened around Mac's waist.
Eventually, Dennis surfaced from his spot against Mac to ask. "There's not anything that would scare you away? Not anything?"
Mac responded almost immediately. "Not even if you were actually a serial killer." He was still petting Dennis lightly, his other hand steadily pressed against Dennis' lower back.
"You'd totally freak out. God wouldn't approve."
"So? You're my best friend. I would never turn you in."
Dennis thought back to Maureen's death and those awful tapes. "Mac… you literally made a movie about me 'killing' Maureen."
"Yeah but that was only funny cause you didn't. Obviously."
"Right."
Though he would hate to admit it, it was better now, having Mac there, close to him, mostly distracting him while trying to comfort him. It felt like it might be helping him survive this night, spoiled by failure.
It was odd to feel like he could count on anyone for anything. He was nervous about developing a false sense of security here, because Mac would fuck up eventually. It was inevitable. But at least part of Dennis wanted to believe that Mac meant what he said— nothing would scare him off. Even if they weren't who the audience thought they were— boyfriends or vampire lovers or whatever else— they shared a bond unlike any other that either of them had ever known.
No one chose either of them like they chose each other consistently, albeit often begrudgingly. Despite all the terrible things they did to each other and brought out in one another, they always ended up back together, on the same side, somehow.
Dennis knew he was being soft, thinking about Mac this way, but it was apparently enough to inspire him to pay Mac a compliment. "You looked good tonight," Dennis revealed, trying to sound neutral and matter of fact but coming off as shy.
"Really? I thought you said I looked bad. Like a queen."
"You looked like Freddie Mercury, who was definitely not straight… but it was still a good look. Especially with the duster. Can't go wrong with that."
"You think?" Mac's voice lit up. "Even though it was too gay?"
"Too gay for the character. Not like in general."
"Oh. Thanks." Mac sounded satisfied. He buried his smile in Dennis' hair and stroked his hand up and down Dennis' back. "Even if you were a vampire, I don't think I'd leave or vanquish you or whatever."
"No?"
"Nah. Wouldn't change that I'm obsessed with you."
Dennis chuckled lightly. He adjusted his body against Mac's, extending a leg to rub against his.
Mac continued, trying to keep up the silly conversation. "If you were a vampire would you drain my blood? Or turn me into one?"
"Ooh, tough question," Dennis said. He pulled back and assessed Mac's face as he made a show of considering the options. "Maybe I would drain you, eat you up."
"Den..?"
"But I think I'd miss you too much, in the long run." Dennis admitted slowly, carefully.
"You totally would. I think we could still feed off each other though once we were vampires….. if you wanted a taste."
Dennis chuckled, watching Mac's expression carefully.
Mac swallowed, suddenly nervous to have all this attention on him. When would there be a catch?
Mac spoke honestly, unable to think of anything else. "Den, you just drive me crazy."
"You drive me crazy too."
"No, I mean like—"
"I know what you mean."
"Oh?"
Dennis readjusted his position relative to Mac, closing in on him, and before Mac could really process what was happening, Dennis initiated a kiss. Mac responded on instinct, even as his brain struggled to catch. The kiss continued on and on and was more heated and passionate than any kiss either had experienced before. It was fucking perfect, they met each other with force but also an unfamiliar tenderness.
Before Mac realized what he was doing, he climbed over Dennis, limbs supporting him at Dennis' sides as they kissed even more deeply.
Dennis made a pleased noise, and suddenly he propped his leg up and shoved it between Mac's. Mac's cock perked up immediately at the contact, and Mac whined in response. They continued to kiss as Mac rode Dennis' thigh. When his brain flickered on for a second, Mac realized how fast things were moving and pulled back reluctantly.
Dennis groaned, "What's wrong?"
"Don't get mad but… are you sure you wanna do this tonight? I can wait, y'know…" He didn't want to say it, but he was kind of scared he was taking advantage of Dennis. Dennis had been vulnerable and needy at first, although he was now eager and excited, as evident in every touch
"Today could use a silver lining," Dennis justified briefly.
That was good enough for Mac, who was grinding against Dennis' thigh again. He leaned down for another searing kiss.
"I wanna take care of you," Mac admitted slowly as he pulled back, stroking his hand over Dennis' cheek. "What do you want?"
Dennis responded quickly, like he didn't have to think about it for a second. "I want you to ride me."
"Really?" Mac's eyes were sparkling, filled with excitement and longing.
"Yeah. I know you want to… to fuck yourself on me."
"Den…"
"C'mon, 'bad boy.' Do you worst."
Mac looked down at Dennis, his eyes wild. "I want you. So bad."
Dennis laughed. "You're my dog. You'd do anything I asked of you."
Mac looked at Dennis with his impossibly wide eyes. "I'm whatever you want me to be. Just tell me. Tell me who I am, and I'll be that."
"You're Mac; you're mine."
"Den."
"C'mon I want to feel my bad boy."
Dennis reached his arms out as Mac crawled over his legs. He was trying to look coy but then he couldn't help himself from giggling. He wanted to be a bad boy so bad, but he also wanted to be very good for Dennis.
"Bad boy," Dennis repeated sternly.
In response to these words that really did something to him, Mac dove down towards Dennis' crotch and pressed his open mouth against Dennis' boxer briefs, wetting them quickly.
"Oh, Mac. You're so bad."
Mac surfaced with a frown.
Dennis shot up, lifting his back off of the mattress. "What?"
"You said I'm bad?" he asked, voice meek and pathetic.
"I meant… you're a bad, bad boy… baby boy."
As soon as the words hit him, Mac grinned widely. "Den…"
"You're gonna fucking eat me alive," Dennis predicted warily.
"Whatever you want, baby."
Mac dipped his face back down and hovered, fingers dipping into Dennis' waistband on either side.
"Off?" Mac asked quickly.
"Yes," Dennis whined and lifted his hips to help, so Mac took care of the boxers immediately. Mac stared at Dennis' erect cock as he ran his hand down Dennis' nude hips, and then cupped each buttock in a hand, pressing into them roughly. He raised one hand up higher, under Dennis' shirt, and graciously traced over his skin, as his other hand grasped onto Dennis' erection. He leaned forward and licked over the hot pink head, collecting precum and musk on his tongue, which seemed to short circuit his brain. His body, however, moved on instinct. He opened up and took more and more of Dennis inside until his mouth was full. Mac moaned, reveling in the sensations— the feeling and weight of his smooth cock, the scent of him, his taste…
"Mac," Dennis moaned gratefully, clearly already extremely into it.
Mac continued to take more in, until the tip was seated just inside Mac's throat. Mac swallowed around Dennis and soon took him completely in, obstructing his throat and giving Dennis that rare sensation he hadn't felt in so long. Leave it to Mac to be this good at deep throating. He was taking it great, breathing through his nose as he kept swallowing and then began to lap his tongue firmly against the underside.
"I'm not gonna last like this. Jesus Christ."
Mac did not make any move to quit.
So Dennis continued, "Get off Mac. I'm not staying awake until I can perform again. We've got plans."
Mac quickly unsheathed Dennis' cock from his throat and mouth. He kissed over Dennis' upper thigh and looked up at Dennis through his lashes.
Mac eventually lifted himself and moved up the bed, hanging over Dennis, face to face.
"Was it good?" Mac asked shyly.
"What do you think? Fuck."
Mac shrugged.
"You're really fucking good at that, Mac."
"Good enough for a next time? So I can taste you cum?"
"Come here," Dennis beckoned, hands grasped behind Mac's shoulders and pulling him closer, for a long kiss.
"You're insatiable, aren't you?" Dennis teased.
"For you? Always. Uncharted territory but familiar too like… it's you."
"Just me."
"Dennis, it's you. It's you and me. Like it's supposed to be."
"You're supposed to ride me. Grab some lube from over there." He gestured to his bedside table and Mac carefully reached for it without fully moving off of him.
"You want me to do it?" Mac asked, popping the bottle open.
"No, let me get acquainted… Are you clean?"
"Yeah."
"Let's switch spots."
Mac stood up and slipped off his boxers.
"Take the shirt off too," Dennis requested.
Mac complied, throwing the shirt across the room before taking Dennis' spot at the head, as Dennis had crawled to the foot of the bed. Dennis shoved a pillow under Mac's hips to prop his ass up.
Mac reached out for him and Dennis slipped forward quickly, bending and spreading Mac's eager legs. He enjoyed the view of Mac spread out for him like that for a long moment, and then he took Mac's cock in a lube covered hand and gave him a few slow but tight strokes.
"Den…"
In no time at all, a lubed fingertip from Dennis' other hand pressed against Mac's asshole. He circled over the tight puckered skin before slowly pressing inward.
Mac seemed to swallow the finger eagerly, as Dennis began to prepare him. Once he had inserted a second finger, he began to fuck them in fast, then pull firmly but slowly against Mac's inner wall. It took only a couple tries before he hit Mac's prostate hard enough for Mac to have a short spasm through his body.
"There we go," Dennis commented lowly.
"Den, please…"
"Please…?" Dennis stilled his fingers inside and around Mac.
"I can take more," Mac swore.
"Really? Cause I think you'll take whatever I give you."
Dennis let go of Mac's cock, and Mac actually whined. But then Dennis stuck three fingers inside, and he was moaning once more.
"Moaning like that already, but I'm bigger than this…"
"I have plenty of moans for you," Mac promised.
Before long, they were both confident in the state of Mac's stretched ass. So Mac stood up again and helped Dennis get comfortable against the pillows.
"I got you," Mac said softly. It felt off the cuff yet was strangely moving for Dennis to hear. He helped ease Dennis' t shirt over his head, and finally got to take the sight of him all in.
"Goddamn it, Den."
"What?" He met Mac's eyes, and Dennis' unaware glance transitioned into a deep blush.
"You're beautiful," Mac reiterated. "I'm so…"
"Come have me," Dennis invited, spreading his hands out at his side.
Mac straddled Dennis' hips and reached over his body, hands grasping at Dennis' soft pecs.
"Mac." And of course, Mac was well acquainted with Dennis' pecs from all those massages, but this felt so different. The reverence Mac held for him each touch felt warm and not suffocating but comfortable. Mac had a freeness in his expression and touches, and he was not avoiding Dennis' nipples in this context. He started to squeeze on both at once and Dennis writhed below him. "Goddammit Mac." It somehow made sense that the man would know what Dennis liked without having to guess. Dennis tried not to dwell on that terrifying realization and instead wanted to give into every sensation.
"C'mon, get on me," Dennis pleaded. "Let me feel you."
"Of course, baby." Mac adjusted and lifted his hips, then in no time he had lined Dennis' dick up against his hole. Dennis inhaled quickly and then felt like the air was forced out of him as Mac began to lower himself onto and around Dennis.
Mac was still pretty strong, and Dennis had never appreciated that as much as he did here, with Mac picking up his pace on top of Dennis. He was making Dennis feel sensations he had never felt before, working some kind of magic with his tight ass.
"You're a slut for learning how to do this on other men." Dennis meant it, too.
"They don't matter. Had to practice for you."
Dennis immediately became choked up, and as he willed that part of himself to calm, Mac changed his angle, arms planted beside Dennis' face, leaning down to brush their lips past each other.
"Don't be a tease," Dennis nearly begged, voice oddly shaky.
Determined to prove he was anything but a tease, Mac kissed him fiercely as he lifted his hips and hammered them back down over and over.
Mac was a virtual pro at this, fucking himself in such a way to drive them both crazy. Dennis could hardly work his brain enough to provide much power here. Occasionally, he would buck his hips up, hitting further up into Mac a little sooner, which got Mac to make delicious noises, but Mac was really doing all of the work. Mac lifted his torso up once more and steadied himself with hands on Dennis' sensitive tits.
"You're gorgeous," Mac managed between moans, still squeezing Dennis' chest hard. "Fucking perfect."
Dennis whined involuntarily, body beginning to tremble as he neared orgasm. His hands clamped down hard on Mac's hipbones. He couldn't get the words to leave his tongue, but Mac had to know with the way he purposefully slowed down his hips, drawing out every sensation he could from every inch of Dennis against his tight walls.
"Mac!" Dennis squealed, and then he was cumming into Mac's bouncing ass. Mac cried in pleasure, happy to feel the release within him. Mac pounded down a few more times then lifted, a trail of cum leaking from his ass as he pulled off and drew down Dennis' body.
"F-fuck," Mac stuttered, one hand grabbing his own neglected cock and stroking it fast.
"Mac," Dennis barely managed to make the sound, but he reached forward and knocked Mac's hand away and grasped him. He felt like the needed to do this for him. To pay him back for all he had done.
"Gonna look so pretty when you cum for me, baby boy. Let me be good to you… it'll be so good." Dennis used his other hand to tilt Mac's chin up. Mac opened his eyes and met Dennis' gaze. "Do it for me, baby. You can cum now. Cum for me, Mac."
And then Mac finally let go and came undone, white streaks lining their both of their torsos.
"Fuck," Dennis groaned, once he slowly worked the whole orgasm out of Mac.
"Dennis…." Mac whined, grabbing on to his arms tightly.
"You got me. I'm right here."
"Mm, that was so good, wasn't it?"
"Yes, you did very good," Dennis praised. "Let me get up. I'll clean us up so we can sleep. okay?"
Mac rolled off of him, into the middle of the bed. Dennis patted his sweaty hair a couple of times with his clean hand and then pushed himself up. It really didn't take much, to wash his hands, wet some towels, swipe over his own stomach, and then clean up Mac, but it took every bit of energy he had left. He didn't even properly dispose of the dirty rags, a boneless exhaustion taking him over. He collapsed into the bed. Mac moved nearer him, and Dennis rolled over towards him as if on instinct.
"Can I hold you?" Mac asked softly.
"Mm," was all Dennis managed to say, but he was understood. Mac pulled him closer until Dennis' head was tucked under his chin, his arms crossed around Dennis' back.
They relaxed into this position immediately. Before long, they were both asleep, clinging on to each other for hours.
Come morning, they woke up apart, separated through the night, sometime since Mac had fallen asleep. Mac turned his neck and saw Dennis' back further across the bed, putting him at the opposite edge.
Mac turned his head forward and sighed. He knew things were not going to be normal this morning. Dennis seemed to be stirring, and Mac figured he was stewing over everything, which probably wasn't good. So Mac quickly asked, "Are you pissed?"
Dennis responded slowly, "No, not really."
Mac, confidence rising, turned over to face Dennis' back. Then he asked, voice soft and low, "What is it?"
"Mac," Dennis' voice sounded remarkably shaky. He must have been ruminating for god knows how long, Mac figured, while he had been sleeping soundly, completely unaware and unhelpful.
"This doesn't have to mean anything. I mean it does mean something— or it does to me— but it doesn't have to change everything, Dennis."
"How could it not?" Dennis' voice broke as he spoke so he paused before continuing, "You're gonna be weird about it… How could you not?"
"We can just see how it goes. Try to just be normal, be us. Not forget about last night but just see what happens."
Dennis turned himself over, to face Mac, keeping space between them.
"Just see what happens. All casual… You think you can do that?"
"Do you?"
Dennis took a slow, deep breath. "I don't know. Maybe. It's gonna be weird no matter what."
"It's already weird. But not bad, not really. It doesn't have to be."
"I don't wanna keep talking about it. But… We have to, some, don't we."
"We can take it slow, Den. We could do this again whenever you want, or never again. I only want to if you want to…"
"What about when we fight?"
"It might help sometimes," Mac predicted. "It would probably be hot."
"What if we get bored?"
"Heh, we won't get bored, Dennis. Don't be silly. I could never be bored with you, and I'll do anything you want."
"I don't want to be your boyfriend."
"You don't have to be, Den. I'm not…"
"I know. Or I think I do. But you also do want it, don't you? You have wanted it… You always let people believe it…"
"I argue with strangers enough, Den, why bother… And I want you… But I want you. I don't want you to turn into some totally different, boring, jabroni ass boyfriend. I just want to spend time with you… take care of you…. Wanna make you feel good."
"We're gonna fuck it up sometimes."
"A lot of the time, yeah. But I think we can handle it. You say the word, and we go back to other people or whatever, but… No one else needs to know, no one, but I can't pretend last night didn't happen… I don't want to. Not between us."
"We live in extremes. Our emotions… we're gonna tear each other apart…"
"Worth it to me. We always bounce back together."
"Mac…. You can't keep the sex separate from how you feel about me," Dennis accused.
"Can you?" Mac asked bluntly, face tentatively smug.
Dennis frowned but didn't argue.
Mac soon added, "We don't have to do this like we're supposed to… we can make up our own rules. We can do it different."
"You think we can?"
"We've figured things out so far…"
"Okay."
"Okay? We can try?"
"What other choice do we have? I… We'll see what happens, I guess."
"You just gotta keep me in line," Mac half joked. "When I fuck things up. You have to tell me what to do about it. You can't just… shut me out. All the time."
Dennis sighed.
"You don't have to tell me everything. I'm just scared."
"You know how I am. Scary."
"I'm not scared of you. I can't lose you. And if I fuck things up too bad…"
"You're getting ahead of yourself," Dennis insisted. "You said…. One day at a time."
"Right. Day by day. Yeah." Mac smiled broadly. He reached forward and took Dennis' hand, relaxing his clenched fist and squeezing it. Dennis squeezed back. They were both quiet for a long moment.
Dennis' voice sounded deadly serious as he broke the silence. "Don't fuck around anymore. You're not fucking anyone else while I'm around."
"Of course not. Don't need no one else. You wouldn't either then?"
Dennis confirmed, "No. No one else."
"Cool," Mac answered, clearly relieved.
Mac lifted himself up briefly to check the clock. "It's still pretty early," he observed.
"Yeah?"
"Let's stay here? A little longer."
"Okay." Dennis moved closer and then turned himself around, slotting the back of his body against the front of Mac's.
Mac reached around and held him tightly. His arm turned upwards from Dennis' waist, hand resting on his sternum. Dennis held on to his forearm, and they settled into the comfortable embrace. Mac's legs slotted themselves between and over Dennis'. They were truly entwined, Dennis mused. Their bodies were, but so were their very lives at this point. While the word 'entwined' brought to mind that line in his desperate pleas to a room full of strangers earlier in the night, Dennis was able to let the echo of the memory pass quicker than usual. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to be entwined to his roommate in more ways than he intended to be— and certainly more so than ever before.