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Rain fell heavily down on the pavement, thunder rumbling close behind it. Playing a duet that held a calming chorus with the percussion alarming the audience with the banging of their drums.
Those with umbrellas thanked they had remembered to bring them, people without umbrellas rushed towards nearby shelter, complaining about how drenched they were. Soaking from head to toe they would say, shaking their sleeves off with the hopes that they wouldn’t catch a cold.
Yashiro Nene did not mind the storm, the rain soaking her clothes till she could feel her body shivering while she ran, not like she usually would.
Instead she was facing the storm head on. Trampling through the sidewalk, apologizing to those she pushed past as she carried her bag containing all her things; snacks, wallet, her bus pass, and a few cat treats she gave to the black and white street cat that stopped by her house. It might as well be swimming in a never ending sea.
But she'd bare it, she could bare it all.
“Amane!”
Yashiro barely avoided being hit by a car as she sprinted across the street. The horn from the silver car blared its alarm at her, stopping just in time to see the highschooler. Normally she waits by the sidewalk, watching the lights change from green to red from one side, and the small light that told her to wait flickers to a stick figure taking a step. She’d looked both ways before she strolled along.
This wasn’t her time to take things casually, she had to hurry, Yashiro would tell herself. Taking a right from the fire hydrant that held small thistle weeds under the small cracks on the ground. She would make it if she hurried.
“Amane!”
Her footsteps stop at an abandoned gate, now catching her breath. The surrounding greenery flushed and overtook anything that may have been in the place to begin with. Little flowers still tucked in their buds from the green bushed patches accepted the downpour. Showing their appreciation by showing a lighter hue of green from their stems with a sweet smell of a few of the buds that decided it would be the right time to bloom.
Some people would say this was simply nature untouched, no one would take down the trees, bushes or even mow the over growing grass. Because if they did it’ll simply grow back. Nature did have a way with going against all odds. Always coming right back up.
Yet the dull shades of red wood would remind them that this was once a home.
Shattered windows, tiles beyond repair as the dangled close to the rusted drain pipes, the final touch would be the stripes of tape and a "keep out sign' warning people that this was a place no one should be entering in the first place.
“Amane!” Yashiro shouted as she ripped the tape off to push the gate open, stepping on the lush greens, and into the doors of the red house. Feeling the stinging in her hands from catching tiny splinters when she manages to break open the locked door. Having to back away before she used her body to slam it open.
She made her way through the house, yelling Amane’s name in each room that she checked in.
"Amane!" her footsteps made the floor creak as she ascended up the stairs.
"Where are you-" Yashiro froze mid sentence when an owl she assumed could’ve been taking shelter in the abandoned house stared at her, perched on a vintage broken grandfather clock. Its beak clicked repeatedly, feathers ruffled, yet it held a dignified stature. She cautiously took a few steps and prayed it wouldn't choose to sweep down and attack her. The two only living creatures kept their eyes on one another till Yashiro made it to the last room in the house.
It was the room closest to a closet full of cobwebs and scattered vintage children’s books that she heard a voice call her name.
“Nene…”
—————
“Nene!” A voice filled with honey snapped her out from her thoughts. Sparking amber eyes gazed into her clouded ruby ones. He waved his hand towards Yashiro’s face.
Amane Yugi, a boy. A boy she had met in an abandoned girl’s bathroom a few years ago, the start of their freshman eyes. She remembered how puffy her eyes were from being rejected by a crush who didn’t even know she existed until found the confidence she needed it to confess to him. Yashiro had bawled all the way until she managed to make it to the side of the school that was closed up after the high school had upgraded to a more refined touch, went up three flights of stairs, skipping the third step on the second floor, and went straight first into the girls bathroom where she heard someone call out that they were in here. The door of the last bathroom stall opened and out a short choppy brown hair boy came.
She almost knocked the lights out of him, her fist colliding with his head and she screamed in fright when she swore she might have killed someone.
Yashiro had apologized over and over until he told her his name.
She felt touched when he sat with her till her voice didn’t crack with every word she said to explain why she was in the abandoned bathroom, and how she wanted to punch him again right after he openly told her that she had fat ankles.
Amane Yugi.
He was boy that would tell her all about the stars and the universe whenever she asked, helped her with her science homework because that was his favorite subject, constantly tease her about her legs, made stupid jokes that left her flustered, messed around with Kou and Mitsuba, gossiped with Aoi about rumors in the old school, offered to walk her home everyday after school.
His ears would get a little red when their hands brushed against one another.
He was a boy she could find herself finding feelings for. Maybe, she didn’t really know if she was crushing on him, or if this deep feeling in her chest was love.
Even if she did have a crush, it was long gone now.
He’s not here anymore.
“Nene!” The familiar voice snapped his finger in her face this time. His brows furrowed with every second Yashiro wasn't answering back.
Because this “Amane”.
“Hey! Nene!?”
Wasn’t her’s.
——
“Nene…”
Yashiro’s hand turned the knob, opening the door to see a large hole on the floor. Her mind grew hazy, she couldn’t move from her spot, like someone had told her to stop right where she was. As quickly as her eyes blinked, the hole she saw was gone. All she saw now was Amane.
“Nene?” He was staring right through her. From the spot she swore she saw the hole. His eyes weren’t warm and comforting, they were more curious. They way he said her name felt like he was trying to practice saying her name out loud.
Amane was never nervous when he was with her. Flustered at times yes, but he didn’t stare at her with a look of a stranger.
Nor did he have this creepy grin on his face.
——
“Nene! Come on Nene! We have to go before we have to wait for the bus again!” ‘Amane’ grabbed her hand and led her in the direction towards the bus stop. His backpack was unzipped to hold his rolled up poster board for an upcoming project, but his things somehow never fell out from the bag each time he ran.
“Right…” Yashiro mumbled in response, catching up to meet his pace so he wouldn't be dragging her the whole time.
Her eyes lingered in the hand that held hers. It was warm, comforting, safe even, it all felt the same but...
This wasn’t her Amane.
She noticed it when she found him in the Red House hunched over that he wasn’t the same person. His reaction to seeing her in the house was frightening enough. Her heart dropped when that look masked into what the real Amane would do in that scenario. Hand scratching the back of his head and uttering his reasonings for how he ended up here, how he didn’t even realize entrance to the house was locked or brushed off Yashiro’s mention of a hole on the floor, before he took notice of Yashiro's appearance and fussed over how drenched Nene was. Tossing in a perverted comment that made Yashiro's face burn, her hand swiftly came down on his head. Proceeding to yell at him for the next five minutes.
It acted just like Amane, she made a note. Worried more for her than for himself.
As they both left the Red House while ‘Amane’ was calling a ride for them, hands clasped around hers. The rain stopped while the stood underneath the porch. Yashiro was looking back at the house, "Amane" looked ahead. Yashiro's body felt heavy, the feeling of an intense weight pressing down on her, keeping her from fleeing, or confronting what had happened in that house with "Amane".
But she ignored it, and she let ‘Amane’ take her home. Leaving it at that.
That was almost a year ago. Fall started back up again. Students flooded the hallways of the school, talking about tests, clubs they were excited to join, preparing for their future, and mainly gossiping about everything every highschooler has to talk about. Winter brought chills, complaints, holiday events, and a new year spend with family and friends. Spring brought new beginnings, Yashiro's new hamster; Tanaka which everyone in her friend group found it surprising when her newest hamster was given a normal name unlike the ones before. And summer brought them a break they needed from classes, time to explore and figure out new things without a deadline, to enjoy their youth while they still have it. Up until the cycle of the season went right back to fall.
Nene acted normal for the most part, ‘Amane’ did so too, as if the events in the Red House never happened and it was simply Amane messing around. Pulling everyone’s leg all for a laugh.
Yashiro couldn’t remember the last time she slept well. Tossing and turning and waking up from a dream of a bottomless hole promising to make her wishes come true, that she could be happy with the right price. The running of Tanaka feet scratching as he ran in his hamster wheel faster and faster somehow made Yashiro feel like she wasn't going insane. Like he too could feel the horrid aura in the room every night she woke up.
She had bags under her eyes that she had to cover with makeup right before classes started, reassuring Aoi who always knew something was off about Yashiro since the events that she was simply studying every night, and making sure the gardening club had everything they needed. Their senior year would be their very last year after all. It's important to let colleges know she was up for the challenge and ready to face anything head on! Nothing else she would tell her best friend of many years, nothing in the shape of a boy who lingered in their friend group, smiled with every conversation, and joked till Yashiro had to shut him up with her fists, and that lie will stay with her until she is dead and buried.
“We were really worried about you, Amane. That day you took off after class back in our junior year.” Yashiro spoke as they walked. Earning a small hum from ‘Amane’ who turned his head to look back at her.
He deflected her question with his own, "That was so long ago, Nene. You're still thinking about that?"
“Kou kept messaging you wondering where you were, while Mitsuba and Aoi were on the phone with the police. Even Akane was concerned about where you ran off to.” She shook her head. Pointless, this was all pointless.
“I know, but I told you guys I was fine.” He answered softly, he stopped in his tracks.
“Wait?" "Amane" covered his cheek his free hand, We’re you concerned about me leaving you earlier that day? Aw, Yashiro, who knew you had such feelings for me~?” He teased, a faint blush tinting his skin. As if Yashiro’s worry wasn’t a concern she should be overthinking, but he knew it was.
Just like Amane would be doing in the first place. Using jokes to lighten the mood, to avoid conflict.
“I was worried!” She added, her voice getting louder.
"Amane" was quiet when she snapped at him. Letting go of her hand and holding his hands out in surrender.
He scratched the scuff mark on his right cheek, his smile dropped a little. Worried he offended Yashiro by trying to make light of things. Another thing Yashiro noticed that was off about ‘Amane’ was he seemed to be constantly scratching the right side of his face. Normally he lightly scratched his left cheek when he was embarrassed or nervous. He hardly ever did it since she found him.
“Well…I told you I was okay…” He muttered quietly, kicking a pebble by his foot. Looking at anything else but Yashiro's questioning gaze.
“Just a little trip I made on my way home." "Amane" continued, "Nothing I wanted you guys to worry about— Nene?” ‘Amane’ words cut short when Yashiro breath charred into a broken hiccup. Her body quivering in both pain and anger.
“You’re…” Nene vision blurred with tears, using her sleeve to hide how much the truth hurts. How his hands reached out to her.
“You’re not..” She tried not to flinch when ‘Amane’s’ hands hesitated before they cradled her face. Tried to ignore how her stomach tightened when his thumb wiped away her tears and how calming his voice was as he tried to calm her down.
“Nene..” ‘Amane’ spoke gently, the same way Amane did when Nene would cry her heart out over overwhelming things she couldn’t understand the reason for. He would comfort her, reassure her that everything was okay, that he would make it up to her. In any way, shape, or form, he'd do whatever he could to make her happy.
"It's okay, Nene. I'm right here."
If only they could go back to the way things were, before that night. Before everything.
She wanted Amane back.
“You’re not the real Amane, are you?” She asked.
The hands that held her face recoiled like they touched fire, his lips parted into a gasp.
‘Amane’ was surprised, no he was shocked. A familiar expression Yashiro didn’t know she missed since she once had Kou help make Amane’s favorite food, donuts. She would never admit it to them, but it was a relief to see that look of pure shock.
“I…” ‘Amane’ took a few steps back, bringing his hands close to his face. “I thought I captured him perfectly..” he meant to say to himself, but here he was, confessing to what Yashiro knew.
Yashiro felt the air thinning. No one was around, no birds flew above them, or even a faint breeze. The weather mentioned it being a bit windy to help with the heat this morning. Yet it was like time put them in a pause.
This feeling was the same as it was back in the Red House.
‘Amane’s’ shocked expression altered into a more viscous expression. A chilling smile that showed Amane’s fangs that Yashiro wondered if they were there since the beginning, followed by darkened eyes that held excitement rather than a shocking frightened look. Making Yashiro tense in place when he enveloped her in a hug.
“I was hoping this would last a little longer, Nene~ This is first time I’d ever had something like this. Friends to hangout with everyday, parents who’d complain about me coming home late, reminding me to eat breakfast, school where I can learn so much and…” ‘Amane’s’ voice was different. It wasn’t soft, caring, or anything. It was mocking, eager, and curious.
The side of ‘Amane’s’ right face distorted into pools of black, making Yashiro feel sick. Those same pools of black formed into what she could describe as tentacles. Waving along the side of his deformed face much like fields of grass being blown from the wind.
"And having someone like you." He said, feeding off of Yashiro’s fear. His hands moved up until his finger tips hovered close to Yashiro’s neck.
“I should kill you…” "Amane" could snap her neck and be done with it, play it off as an accident that happened on the way home.
He wasn’t looking—
She was too distracted—
“Yet…” ‘Amane’s’ voice faltered, sounding lost as his hands dropped from her neck and instead gripped Yashiro’s body tightly back into a embrace, as if she was going to disappear into nothing. His head buried in the crook of her neck, making Yashiro release a breath she didn’t know she held in. He was really cold, and that same weight Yashiro felt for the last few months was heavier with him hugging her. She felt tears on her skin, and it wasn’t hers.
“I can’t bring myself to— No. Don’t tell anyone about me. I don’t want to kill you, Nene…please don’t let me..” He suddenly pleaded, his voice shuddered at the thought of doing so.
Yashiro could feel his nails digging into her skin, his hold was strong, he wouldn’t let go, she could compare it to a child refusing to let their parents take away their toy.
Yashiro should feel scared, god, she should scream at this thing for taking Amane away. Fight him, kick him off of her and run towards safety. Not let him hold her so tightly and cry in her neck, begging her to not let him kill her, as if she had the power to control their outcome.
But she didn’t, she couldn’t.
Some part of her didn’t want Amane to leave her. A selfish, cruel part of her wanted him to stay with her forever.
They were supposed to go to the moon together, explore each and every star in their spaceship with all the hamsters she could ever want in small tiny seats, and they would have all the time in the world to listen to Amane’s description on each and everything that was related to space.
Yashiro didn’t want to let go of the boy that was left alone in the red house.
He wasn’t supposed to go anywhere in the first place.
He said he wouldn’t.
——
“Hm? Oh? I decided that I’m not going anywhere.” Amane from last school year leaned from the back of his seat. Arms swung from the back of his head, legs up on his desk whilst Yashiro had to refrain from yelling at him on how it was disrespectful to be doing that.
But his words only made her ask him why. They only had the rest of this year and the next year before graduation, why the sudden change?
“Because, it’s just what fate decided for me.” He leaded back into his seat, putting his legs back down on the floor to cupped his face with the palm of his hand. Picking up Yashiro’s judgemental stare was enough to get him to listen.
“But I thought you wanted to go to the moon? Wasn’t that what you always dreamed of?” Yashiro was confused, Amane would always talk about how he wished to someday go to the moon like those astronauts did. To see planet Earth from miles and miles away and experience just what was outside of their stratosphere.
“It is. It still is…” He concluded, looking out the window into the sun beginning to set. If he didn’t hurry now, Yashiro would miss her ride.
“But if I stayed here…would you be right beside me?” Amane murmured quietly, his hand gripped the side of his left cheek tightly.
“What was that?” Yashiro asked, zipping her backpack up and placing it around her shoulder.
“It’s nothing." He waved her concerned look off, "Nothing for you to worry about, Nene. Just tired. It’s getting late anyways.” His grin lifted the depression their conversation was heading towards. “Let’s go home, okay?”
“Right!" Yashiro smiled back, "I have to make sure Tanaka is doing well, he seemed to enjoy listening to this song I played a few days ago.” She laughed when Amane looked extremely confused about a hamster could enjoy music while the two gathered their things and left their classroom for the day.
How stupid was Yashiro to ignore how tired Amane sounded when they spoke in that classroom. How he didn’t have the energy to hang out as much as he used to over the weekends, how his messages got shorter or he would leave her on read. All of it she brushed off with a feeling that he might just be busy and she would just as Kou to check up on him later when they meet up.
Stupid, very stupid.
——
Yashiro felt her tears coming back. "Amane" only clung to her more, his weight pulled her down from a breakdown Yashiro was ready to have.
She’ll wish, pray, give anything to make sure he doesn’t go away again. Yashiro couldn’t find herself to believe this reality, that Amane was gone. Somewhere she couldn't follow, or even understand why he did this in the first place. Was it school? His parents? Their friends?
Did she have something to do with it?
Yashiro bit her lip, her hands scrunching up into fists.
She can’t let him leave her like this…
She’s not ready to let go. She can't, not now.
Yashiro doesn’t pick up on how ‘Amane’ stopped crying. How his grip loosened from his strong hold, his eyes that were stone cold dead now held something else.
She simply takes a deep breath and lets it cling to her.
“Fine…I won’t tell anyone..” Her hands return the embrace.