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Aphrodite had not been happy, but the fault had ultimately been her own. She was the one who told Olympus that she gave birth to the son of War. What being was better fit for the task?
“Hide this in the folds of your gown,” she had said quietly, wrapping Seungkwan's hand firmly around the gold dagger. It felt heavy in his hand. Felt cold. “Enchant him. Please him. He is a God, but a man is a man. Do what you must, and strike when he is most vulnerable.” She then took his chin with her slender fingers, forcing him to look into her eyes. “You are my son. If he ever raises a hand to you, show him what fire truly is.”
And so, Seungkwan found himself on the step of the Underworld, Styx already far behind and sunlight even further. Sconces along the walls that once held bright flames near the river were now a low glowing orange, hardly enough to see by. Before him stood a tall ledge and an opening in the stone wall, but no way to reach that high. Even if there was, no light penetrated any further beyond.
There was no one here at the end of this terrifying path. Even in the Underworld, Seungkwan assumed they had some decorum. He had been expected, after all.
He hadn't been privy to the details of how this scheme began. Some say that Hades was pestering Olympus to give his son a lover, much like Zeus had given Persephone to Hades once so long ago. Others say that the Underworld needed convincing, that the son of Aphrodite had to be sold to them like one trying to give away an old mule. But once agreements were settled, a plan was put into place. To not send so much the son of Aphrodite but also the son of Ares, to put an end to the Underworld's treachery and deep-seeded evil plots, to stop Hades' bloodline before it could continue and prevent darkness from ravaging the world.
This mission was asked of Seungkwan, and he could do nothing but accept the task. He was afraid of death. He was afraid of the dark. He was afraid of being alone. He was afraid of many things and did not wish to be here.
But here he stood, wrapped in delicate silver silks, bare feet stained black from the dirt and stone. On the surface above, he knew he must have looked a vision in this finery, but down here was a different situation. There was no Sun to glow against his skin, no wind to tousle the fine locks of his hair. Here, he felt like a mud ball that Charon himself had rolled out of the river and shoved into this tunnel, stinking and trembling like a freshly born lamb.
Why, after such a long journey, was no one here to greet him?
Perhaps they had changed their minds. Perhaps they knew what Olympus was plotting. Perhaps Hades' son was shown an image of Seungkwan and curled his lips in disgust.
The air was humid and thick, but Seungkwan took a deep breath and stood to his full height, forcing himself to stop clutching at his robes like a child. Going back was not an option. “Is anyone there?” he asked loudly, only his echo answering back. “I am Seungkwan, the son of-”
“I know who you are,” a voice answered.
Seungkwan took a step back, refusing to let himself shriek hardly a few moments into his mission. But-... He squinted into the dark opening. “Hello?” he asked, getting no answer. He stepped forward again. “I- I've come to-”
“I know why you're here,” the voice said.
Seungkwan froze for a fraction of a second. He felt his cheeks redden, somewhere between embarrassment and frustration, refusing to let intimidation seep in. “There's no reason to be so theatrical! Come speak like a normal person if-... if you-...”
There, in the darkness, hardly seen and so small, two tiny pinpricks of light so dim that they could be distant stars in the night sky. But these were next to each other, staring, unblinking, unmoving, ever watching. Seungkwan could see nothing else but the small inhuman glow of these eyes. He had to ask. “Who are you?”
After a moment of stillness, the eyes moved and a figure emerged slowly from the darkness. A man of Seungkwan's age with sharp features and an expression that may as well be marble. His clothing was dark, peppered with small holes probably to purposefully show the skin beneath. His brow was furrowed, chin raised, and he looked down on Seungkwan from his high ledge as if assessing his worth.
Seungkwan wanted to scowl at him but couldn't summon the courage. His hands were back to clutching his robes, only able to stare up at the man, wanting to pass his test. Never before had he felt so insecure, and as the son of Aphrodite, there were already many times he had to paint on confidence and bravery. Those skills felt as if they left him now.
But this must be him. The son of Hades.
The man stepped forward into empty air, stone appearing beneath his feet like it had always been there and simply hidden by a trick of the dark. And he continued to step down this way, unhurried, slowly getting closer to Seungkwan. He moved with all the grace of a predator, and Seungkwan was helpless to but clutch his robes tighter.
Then the man was in front of him, less than a pace away, standing still and staring. Seungkwan could not see his eyes, his brow shadowing his gaze aside from the dull glow shining unnaturally beneath. He seemed so tall like this, taller than Zeus himself, but he was only a few inches taller than Seungkwan.
He could not cower now. Seungkwan took another deep breath to steel himself, squaring his shoulders, staring defiantly back into the glowing pinpricks.
In truth, he was terrified.
The man stepped to the side, back to the slow gait he had a moment ago, moving around Seungkwan in a tight circle, his cold gaze on the back of his neck, still assessing.
Seungkwan stayed still, looking straight ahead. His eyes tried to follow the man's movements, but he was too afraid to look upon him again.
But then the man stopped his walk after a single revolution, facing Seungkwan once more, his expression unchanged. And finally, he spoke. “I have no need for a lover. Leave.”
Seungkwan… blinked. Leave? Leave? He glanced behind himself then back to the horrifying man in front of him. “I- I was promised to you. I'm not leaving!”
The man tilted his head, his expression still unchanged.
Seungkwan scowled without even needing to gather courage. Offense had already been taken. “I'm the son of Aphrodite! And you try to spurn me away!?”
“You think highly of yourself,” the man said in the same tone. “I don't care whose son you are.”
Seungkwan may have gone his entire life being compared to his mother and falling shy of her infinite beauty. He may have always faced impossible expectations because of her, always failing, never truly succeeding in the eyes of Olympus all because of her.
But no one insults his mother. “I am Seungkwan! I am the God of Passion and Ember! You will show me respect!”
“Respect?” he asked like it was a laughable suggestion even as his expression still remained the same.
Seungkwan grit his teeth. “It's the least of what I deserve!” he shouted back. “If you're so high above me, then tell me! Who are you!?”
The man stared back, eventually chewing on his bottom lip for hardly a second. “I am Hansol,” he said and turned away. Slowly, at his same pace, he began to ascend the floating stone steps, pausing halfway up to look back. “Are you coming?”
What a confusing man. Seungkwan rushed to follow, not allowing his fear of these strange steps to make him hesitate. By the time he was at the top of the ledge, he finally remembered his fear of this man, of this place, and of the inky darkness that still lay before him.
Hansol stepped through the opening and immediately disappeared from sight.
Now, Seungkwan hesitated. He tried to speak, but didn't know what to say, afraid of judgement or wrath or anything else Hansol may do in response. The only option was to walk forward before Hansol got too far ahead. If he could not do this, then how was he to survive here-
Light. A bright blue glow suddenly ignited, making Seungkwan jump in place. And there stood Hansol several paces ahead, half turned to face him, a blue flame dancing in his hand. Like this, suddenly in some measure of light, Seungkwan could fully see his face and his eyes. Deep warm brown orbs looked back at him, not whatever terrifying nightmare Seungkwan had imagined. In fact, he was… handsome.
He said nothing, made no different expression. Hansol simply turned and continued walking, the light source kept in his palm.
Seungkwan took another deep breath and followed.
The hallway had been terrifying. Long and dark, the stone walls holding nothing discernable. If Seungkwan had heard anything good about the Underworld, it was the ornate architecture and gilded halls, the lavish gems and minerals and riches beyond what any mortal could dare imagine.
Thus far, his experience had only been cold and damp and dark.
But the hall eventually opened into a larger room. Seungkwan couldn't see beyond their small pool of light, everything just an inky black, until the light found a wall and then a door. Finally, something different. The door was still stone and looked quite heavy, but there were etchings of brambles along the sides and a wrought iron handle that Hansol pushed against.
Inside, the room was… warm. Sconces of blue fire were set into the walls, a great bowl hanging from the ceiling with a fire lit inside it. There was a basin of clear water, intricate rugs across the floor, and a large bed on a short dais covered in furs. What intrigued Seungkwan most was what lay across the room. If he were anywhere else, he would swear he was looking upon a balcony.
Hansol stood to the side, unmoving and not speaking, so Seungkwan merely blinked at him before stepping forward to explore. And indeed, it was a balcony. The platform was caged in by ornate stone bars that weaved through each other like flower stems in a crown. Beyond was a deep chasm, the floor of which was too far or too dark to see, but the ceiling high above was dappled in jewels and crystals that gave an unnatural blue glow. The light it emitted was dappled in places, burning bright here and dimming softly there.
Seungkwan had never seen anything like it. “Is-... Is that fire? What is that light?” He almost did not expect an answer.
But Hansol spoke. “Algae,” he said. “Bioluminescence.”
Seungkwan slowly looked away from the light, turning to Hansol in confusion. These are words he did not know.
Hansol merely shrugged. “I've heard that Poseidon has such a thing as well. In his seas?”
“The shore!” Seungkwan gasped. “In some places, the sea glows!”
“It's the same thing.”
“Wha-” He turned back to the light, captivated anew. Perhaps there were pleasant surprises to be found down here. “It's beautiful…”
Unfortunately, Hansol only allowed him to enjoy the scene for a mere second. “You need not lie.” Taken off guard again, Seungkwan turned back to him. “It is a pitiful imitation of the skies above,” Hansol continued. “You and I both know that. There is no need to attempt currying favor down here.”
“I-” Seungkwan quickly swung from surprise to offense once again. “I do not lie about such things! No, it's not like the sky, but I can still believe it to be beautiful in its own ways.”
Hansol stared at him. Still, his face remained impossible to read, and Seungkwan could not tell if this was on purpose or if that was just how Hansol was. Then, suddenly, he turned and began to leave, taking the small fire in his hands with him. “Tell me tomorrow if you need more furs for your bed. I'll procure them for you.”
Was… this not Hansol's chambers?
“Wait!” Seungkwan darted after him, stopping short when Hansol suddenly turned back to face him. “Is… that it?”
Finally, a facial change, even if it was only a single raised brow. “What else would you like?”
Seungkwan could at least be thankful that his terror had been so thoroughly replaced with unending confusion. “What do you mean?” He stepped closer, inching forward until he was fully within Hansol's space without touching him. The other man still looked at him with the same blank expression, but Seungkwan did not let it deter him. “I was promised to you,” he reminded softly, carefully reaching out. “If you wished, I could-”
Hansol stepped away, firmly out of reach. “I have no need for a lover,” he said again. “If you want to fulfill your obligations to Olympus, you may stay in the Underworld. For that, you don't need my help.”
Seungkwan had never been turned down before. Not ever. Not once. Not by anyone. Perhaps- Perhaps Hansol merely liked a different sort or- or- He stepped closer. “A companion, then.”
“I do not need a companion either,” Hansol said before turning away. “I will find you in the morrow. Call me if you must.” The flame in his hand extinguished, and he walked into the darkness, instantly vanishing from sight.
Seungkwan stayed rooted to the spot, not even hearing footsteps echo against the stone as they should. It unnerved him… He stepped forward and closed the heavy door shut, taking another deep breath.
His mission could still be fulfilled. Hansol could be difficult all he wanted, but Seungkwan will see this through. He must, if he wished to return to the surface.
The thought of committing such a deed still filled him with dread, though. He put a hand against his hammering heart and walked back to the balcony. The lights may soothe him yet.
Hansol remained firm in keeping his distance.
As time wore on, things stay the same. The environment never changed, Hansol's expression never changed, and no other soul ever visited Seungkwan. It would be possible to lose one's mind in the darkness, he thought, if not for his mission keeping his thoughts buzzing.
Well, his mission, and trying to figure Hansol out in other ways. The man had an unnerving stare at times. And the way he spoke, like his words held more meaning than Seungkwan could understand…
It took a while before he realized that he was not really confined to his quarters either. He could, theoretically, leave any time he wished. Whenever Hansol left his presence, he always left the door open. It was Seungkwan's own fear keeping him trapped inside the room.
There was always the fear of running into someone else down here, though. He had not seen nor heard anything of Hades thus far, and Seungkwan desperately wanted to keep things that way. Hansol was terrifying enough, though Seungkwan was growing less scared of him by the day.
Regardless, with a new idea in mind, Seungkwan decided to venture out of his rooms for once. If he kept his hand to the cold wall, he thought, then surely he couldn't get lost in the dark. And if he did, perhaps he only needed to call out for help and Hansol would silently lead him back like he silently did everything else. The only hurdle was to take the first step.
Quite the hurdle indeed.
Seungkwan stood within the light inside his doorway, chewing on his bottom lip while he looked into the void beyond. He had never seen such darkness before coming to this horrible place. He clutched at his robes again for the first time since the day he arrived.
Hansol travelled through the darkness so easily. Why couldn't he do the same?
Not one to be outdone, Seungkwan squared his shoulders and stepped closer, only having the strength to reach out a hand into the cold darkness. When nothing happened, he stepped closer, his hand staying against the wall as he slowly enveloped himself into the dark.
Then he felt something and froze. Something against his face- There it was again. A breeze- A breath. Seungkwan shuddered, feeling something feathery soft brush against his hand, arms, legs, beneath his robes-
He screamed and darted backwards into his chambers, slamming the door shut.
“You screamed.”
Seungkwan screamed again, whipping around to find Hansol standing there, the light of the room only enough to reveal a furrowed brow and deep frown, his eyes hidden again as they so often were.
Seungkwan did not care at the moment. “There's something in the darkness!”
Hansol's brow furrowed deeper, his head tilting. “There is nothing in the darkness,” he said, not even moving from his spot.
“There is!” Seungkwan shouted, anger overtaking some of his terror. “It touched me! I felt its breath!”
For a moment, Hansol merely stayed in place, and Seungkwan considered shouting at him again to at least check. But then he suddenly stepped closer, stopping just before him and raising a brow-
Oh, right. Seungkwan moved away from the door, taking a place behind Hansol while he opened it. Of course, there was nothing there to be seen. Only the void greeted them. But then Hansol walked closer, reaching out a hand much like Seungkwan had done before. Granted, with much more courage, but the gesture was the same.
Then he hummed. Hansol's head tilted more, his arm twisting like he was feeling the same tendrils that had tried to ensnare-
Hansol turned back to him. “There is nothing in the darkness but the darkness itself,” he said. “It seems… to like you…”
The darkness, then, had a mind of its own. Of course, it did. It was unnatural and otherworldly. One could merely look into it and feel its presence. But that did not make Seungkwan feel any better. He clutched his robes tighter. “It likes me?”
“It… wants you,” Hansol elaborated, his voice the same tone as ever, but his gaze felt heavier now.
And Seungkwan had no idea how to feel about any of it. “Oh…” A rather undignified response. Perhaps this was the opening he had been needing, but he didn't know how else to react.
It seemed he did not have to, though. Hansol reached out a hand towards him, the first time he ever reached out at all. “I will show you there is nothing to fear,” he said almost gently. “The darkness will not touch you so long as you hold onto me.”
There were many things he could say, many doubts he could utter, but he had to take this chance while it was presented. No matter how afraid he was of the dark or of Hansol, Seungkwan took his hand and allowed himself to be led back into the void.
No sooner than he was out of the doorway, Seungkwan clasped Hansol's arm and pressed himself to his side. His mission was not forgotten, nor was his fear of the man, but Hansol was his only beacon in this space. No walls were anchoring him, no landmarks could be seen, even the light from his rooms was swallowed behind them. So he clung to Hansol and tried not to tremble.
Nothing touched him as before. Even the breaths were gone. But the presence hung close, something unseen, yet Seungkwan knew it would be there if he reached out. So he made himself smaller, tucking deeper into Hansol's side, not even noticing his own actions until the other man put his arm around him and held him close.
“You really are afraid of the dark,” Hansol spoke quietly, softly. “I promise, even if you ventured through it on your own, it would never harm you. As I said, it… likes you.”
Seungkwan was not sure that he liked it back. He could not find the words for anything else. He could only fold himself closer until Hansol was holding him entirely.
A hand touched against his hair, almost like Hansol was attempting to sooth him. “You must miss the surface,” he murmured. “Tell me what you miss about it.”
Seungkwan had to force himself to swallow the lump in his throat and breath before he could answer. “The sight of the Sun,” he answered in a whisper, afraid to speak louder. “The touch of the wind…” There were other things. Fields of green, seas of blue, birds singing in their nests, his mother smiling upon him. But somehow, in this moment, he missed the most simple of things.
Hansol's lips pressed softly to the crown of his head, but Seungkwan could not believe it was the kind of kiss he needed at that moment. “I'm sorry.”
Seungkwan closed his eyes tight and held Hansol closer against him.
Eventually, he was led back into his chambers.
They did not speak of their moment in the dark.
Hansol seemed to realize that Seungkwan was confining himself to his chambers out of fear, because something changed in him after that day. He came by more, coaxed Seungkwan to go on walks with him, and Seungkwan would always go. There was no choice if he wanted to get close enough to Hansol to complete his mission, but every walk through the dark left him more and more conflicted.
He already did not want to kill anyone, but Hansol had to show such simple kindness in this cold place on top of that reluctance. At the same time, after every walk, Seungkwan's resolve was hardened even more just because he missed the surface, he missed the Sun, he missed his mother-
He hated this mission. Hated that it was given to him, that the burden was placed on his shoulders because of a birthright he didn't even have. In turn, it made him hate this place just a little more.
Then one day- “I want to show you something,” Hansol said with an offered hand, the same gesture he made every day before their walk. But there was never anything to see in the darkness.
Seungkwan took his hand because he always did. “What is there to see in this place?” Perhaps it was childish and petulant to ask such a thing, rude at best.
Hansol merely steered him towards the open door and the darkness beyond. “I'll show you.”
At first, this walk proved no different than the others. Seungkwan always lost all sense of direction not a minute into each stroll, so he merely clung to Hansol and focused on placing one foot in front of the other.
“Careful here,” Hansol quietly muttered, and the flat path suddenly became stairs. Hansol adjusted them, his arm weaving around Seungkwan's waist in a close grip, and they began to descend.
Seungkwan could at least say that he wasn't afraid of the darkness when he was with Hansol. It was still unnerving, a presence still following close at his heels, but terror never threatened to consume him if Hansol was there. He hadn't quite realized how safe he felt in the other man's proximity until he was descending a flight of stairs in darkness so thick that he couldn't see the very man he was clinging to.
He should certainly be more frightened. This was his mark, after all. Son of Hades, Heir of the Underworld, a man who moved through the darkness like it clung to him, shadows incarnate.
But Seungkwan didn't want to think of such things right now. His hand stayed wrapped around Hansol's wrist, greedy for his safety.
The descent continued further and further, a much longer path than any of their previous walks, until a soft glowing blue light met them up ahead, illuminating the bottom of the stairs. Seungkwan felt something in his chest unfurl at the sight, his breathing a little easier, until they were finally at the landing and walking through the opening.
Hansol released him at once, but Seungkwan barely registered the gesture. He was too enraptured in the scene before him. Even on the surface, this view would have been dazzling.
It was… a grotto of sorts. They stood upon a rocky beach that welcomed a large pool of still water. It was so still and so dark that the water looked like a mirror perfectly reflecting the ceiling above. And the ceiling was high above, as high as some hills or large mountains, dazzling blue light dappling across the large expanse, growing brighter and dimmer in intervals, much like-... much like-...
There, on the cliff face to his right, he could see high above them a small opening with light pouring forth. “That's my chambers,” Seungkwan pointed, turning back to Hansol. “This is the view outside my balcony.”
Hansol stood behind him, all of his usual dark and terrifying aura still there yet somehow a bit awkward. He shifted in place, eyes hidden in the shadows, yet his body language seemed to say more. “I thought it might remind you of the surface,” he said after a brief pause. “It is not a very good copy but-... In time, you can learn the path to come down here whenever you wish. Or I can carve a new path for you.”
Carve a new path… Seungkwan hadn't considered it before, but these things must have been placed here somehow. What was the Underworld before Hades took control of it, he wondered? But then he looked back to the water, the reflection of the glowing crystals up above. This was the second time Hansol had mentioned that they were a pale imitation of the sky.
“How did this pool come to be?” he asked after a moment. When he got no answer, he turned back to Hansol. “Did you make this place?”
Hansol did not respond. His shifting had stopped, too, still as a statue, looking exactly like he'd been carved from marble and left here in the dark.
If Seungkwan didn't know any better, which he did, he would say that Hansol was embarrassed. Shy, perhaps.
But that couldn't be. Seungkwan slowly lowered his hand, chewing on his lip, anxiety plucking at his heart. He did not want to say the wrong thing to this man. “Sorry. I… shouldn't have-”
“A long time ago,” Hansol began quietly, and Seungkwan instantly went silent, “when I was a child, my mother brought me to the surface with her.”
His mother… His mother. How could Seungkwan forget? Just like Seungkwan himself wasn't just the son of Aphrodite, Hansol wasn't just the son of Hades. He was the son of Persephone, too.
“Father didn't want me to leave while I was still so young, but mother wanted me to see her home from before so-” He paused and shrugged, again looking almost awkward. “She wanted me to see the trees and the birds, but I was most obsessed with the sky.” He looked above them, the shadows almost leaving his eyes enough for Seungkwan to just barely see him. “I don't remember it very clearly now. Just that it would change colors and move about with the season. It looked endless. I thought that, with the crystals, I could-... But it's not how I remember. I thought it could help you get more used to this place, but it's-... I know it's different here…”
Hansol made this for him. He made those chambers for him. He made this pool for him. He made the sky for him.
Seungkwan could not speak. This revelation was too shocking, too sudden. But no, Hansol asked him to leave upon their very first meeting. Why would he- No. Seungkwan must be wrong. He must- His voice came out too quiet, too high, too uncertain. “You made this for me?”
Hansol turned his face away from the ceiling, looking down to the stony ground, features hidden in shadow entirely again.
This cannot be. Seungkwan didn't know how to react otherwise.
But Hansol suddenly seemed to take a deep breath, standing to his full height. “I don't remember the sky very well,” he began, walking forward and past Seungkwan without even a glance, “but I do remember the trees.”
He stepped into the water, the rippling causing a blue glow to emit from the water's surface, the whole lake slowly coming to life. Hansol did not seem to notice, did not even slow his stride. He walked slowly into the shallow pool until the water was barely to his waist before coming to a stop.
Then he began to lift his hands and the ground trembled. Seungkwan caught himself on a boulder jutting out at the water's edge, but he could not look away even to gather himself, not even to feel an ounce of fear.
The earth quaked, the water trembled, and Hansol raised his hands higher until something finally burst from the surface in front of him. A great pillar rose into the sky, twisting on itself and branching across the sky, casting a haunting shadow against the blue light shining above. The branches forked, splintered, and black leaves appeared in clusters across the ends until the entire tree top was covered. Then vines began to snake across the trunk and toward the high branches, large white flowers budding and opening in a flourish.
Seungkwan could only stare in open astonishment at the sudden sight before him. The trunk of the tree was so wide that if he and Hansol were to hold hands and stretch out their arms, he was certain they could scarcely cover half of it. He had seen many miracles on the surface, but nothing so surprising or grand as this.
A bright blue fire caught in Hansol's hands before he swept his arms in arc, the fire rushing towards the tree, and Seungkwan almost shouted in terror. But the fire dispersed, spreading into separate pinpricks of light amongst the leaves, and Seungkwan recognized them as the glowing beetles from home. Fireflies.
Seungkwan slowly walked into the water, the glow of the algae suddenly secondary in his mind as he moved through the still rippling waves. The tree's great roots were jutting out of the water in places, and he pressed a hand to one as he followed it to the soft glowing shade.
Hansol turned as he approached, the shadows gone from his features again, but eyes still so hard to decipher. He didn't seem to be apprehensive, shy, or even boastful about such an achievement. He simply looked at Seungkwan, as if waiting for a response.
And Seungkwan had to give a response. He must. “It's-... This-...” He kept walking until he stood beside Hansol, head craned back to track the blue fireflies moving from limb to flower and back again. “This is beautiful,” he said, breathless.
Again, Hansol's head ducked down, but the darkness did not cling to him like before. “I know it's not like the surface,” he said again, picking up his gaze to look upon Seungkwan, “but I hope it helps.”
What a terrible habit, to look down upon the remarkable things he was creating as if they were not good enough for Seungkwan to behold. As if Seungkwan had anything to give back in return.
He reached out, palm finding Hansol's jaw without him even thinking it, wanting to show his gratitude, wanting to make him understand how wonderful this gift was, how no one had ever even thought to give him such a gift as incredible as this- But then he realized-
The touch of Hansol's cheek was just as warm as his hand, so much more life beneath the surface than Seungkwan had first assumed, so much easier to see without the darkness there. But the darkness was not there only because he'd spent himself entirely. He was weak now. Vulnerable. Hansol had shed his unyielding armor just to give him this.
Thoughts of harming Hansol did not come to mind. Seungkwan did not think of Olympus or his mother or the surface world. His mind was only for the man before him now, the thoughtfulness in his gestures, the prices he was willing to pay just because he thought it would make Seungkwan more comfortable.
He did not notice that Hansol's breaths stopped when he touched his face, how the air itself seemed to still. Seungkwan was so full of affection and gratitude, that he simply leaned forward and shut his eyes, pressing his lips to Hansol's gently and briefly.
When he leaned away, Seungkwan was surprised at the boldness of his own action, but it was not enough to temper everything else he was feeling in that moment. He swallowed hard and murmured in the strongest voice he could manage, “Thank you.” The words came out muted and muffled. Seungkwan was aware that there were tears clinging to his lashes.
Hansol said nothing in response, staring down at him in no small amount of shock, even if his quiet aloofness was still trying to peer through.
The stare was going on for so long that it was enough for Seungkwan to second guess himself. A kiss? Why had he-? Why was that his response? Hansol had made himself clear on his lack of interest. He shouldn't have-
Seungkwan felt color rise to his cheeks, and he tried to look away. “You shouldn't say such bad things about your creations. I think it's beautiful. On the surface, this would be a gem among-”
Hansol took Seungkwan's face in both hands and turned him back to face him, suddenly stealing a kiss. Seungkwan was shocked by the gesture, the breath shuddering in his lungs before he melted against him, hands finding Hansol's broad shoulders as Hansol's hands fell down to his robes, the kiss deepening as they clung closer to one another.
Seungkwan's fingers were gliding up Hansol's neck, beginning to settle into his hair, when Hansol slowly began to pull away. As Seungkwan took deep breaths to soothe his drumming heart, only thinking of dragging the other back in to continue exploring one another, Hansol had pulled one of his hands free and was looking down at it. His eyes were filled with hurt but not surprise. Seungkwan looked down, too.
Aphrodite's dagger rested in Hansol's palm.
At first, panic threatened to overwhelm Seungkwan, but he let out a breath and didn't feel as much fear as he expected. Perhaps it was Hansol's presence, as always, making him feel safe. So instead, he placed his hand atop the dagger and answered with as much honesty as he was allowed. “My mother gave me this before I left,” he quietly explained. “She said that if you were to raise a hand against me, I should show you what real fire is… I do not foresee you ever harming me, but it is all I have left of her now.”
Hansol seemed to lose some unseen tension, a breath leaving him along with most of the strength in his posture. It was not a gesture of relief, though. To Seungkwan, it looked more like acceptance. Like giving up. Hansol reached out with the hilt, offering the dagger back.
And the very image was enough to break Seungkwan's heart into a thousand splintered pieces. To give back the instrument of his own demise, a sadness in his eyes as if he knew what he was doing.
So, in a moment where his heart spoke louder than anything else in the world, Seungkwan decided to do something very stupid. He took back the dagger. “I do not wish to remember her like this, though.” And he dropped it into the water at the trunk of the great tree. “I do not need it.”
The pain was lifted from Hansol's features, surprise absolutely making itself known now. “Your mother-”
Seungkwan pulled him back into a kiss, deeper than his first but still just as brief. “I feel safest when I'm with you,” he said quietly, words only for them to hear.
There was a brief moment of stillness again before Hansol's hand found Seungkwan's waist and he took a deep kiss once more.
Their walks through the darkness became more frequent. Hansol claimed it was so that Seungkwan could learn the path to the tree without the need for help, but he always stayed even when they weren't walking. And then, finally, they began to talk.
Hansol had grown up in this darkness, only setting foot on the surface once. His mother leaves once a year for three months, as Seungkwan already knew, so Hansol had stayed for the same length of time. He didn't remember much about the trip, but he did recall missing the Underworld, missing his father.
Hades, in Hansol's words, was not the cold and calculating manipulator that Olympus had so often claimed. He was a stern man, Hansol said, but kind and warm and patient. Not at all like the evil beast that stole Persephone away in Zeus' propaganda, but merely a man who found love with another, the two running away together even if it meant the total disruption of the world order.
Neither Hansol nor Hades had to inform Seungkwan that Zeus was not always right, but that was another matter. He was not surprised to hear of these revelations, though.
The Underworld also went much deeper than this, Hansol told him. He said that there were towering chambers and grand architecture, just like the stories, but he was afraid of the heat and pressure harming Seungkwan, so they had not ventured further.
“I'd like to try it,” Seungkwan said as they left the pool's still water behind, ascending the darkened staircase once more. “If I'm allowed to see these places, I would like to try experiencing them.”
In truth, he knew that he could withstand the heat, but some secrets were tucked so closely to the chest that keeping them was simply a habit. But if Seungkwan were to truly stay in this place, if he were to completely abandon his mission and be Hansol's as was promised, then he needed to learn his new home. He needed to stop being so afraid of it. He needed to become like Persephone and acclimate his nature for something more important than himself.
He would rather like to meet her, Seungkwan thought, but it was a wish he was still too anxious to voice for now.
“We can try,” Hansol answered, the sound of a smile in his tone. Seungkwan had not seen these smiles in the light yet, but he liked to hear them. “Whenever you wish, we can venture further. And if it is too much, I can simply step into the shadows and take you back to your chambers in an instant.”
Ah. “That's how you do it,” Seungkwan hummed. “I was wondering why I could not hear footsteps when you would leave my chambers.”
“Oh.” Sheepishness in his voice now. Hansol was surprisingly shy at times, Seungkwan found. “I'm sorry if it frightened you.”
“It did not,” he rushed to confess.
A pause. He imagined a smile on Hansol's lips again. “They say that I'm the God of Shadows and Silence, so I suppose that was very apt of me to do.”
An interesting choice of words. They say that he is this God, but he does not. Hansol was always like that, it seemed. Always an interesting choice of words. Always layered meanings to his voiced thoughts.
Seungkwan tried to perceive this new information with those layers in mind. “That sounds… relaxing.”
“Not scary?”
“No. Not anymore.”
Hansol's arm wrapped a little tighter around him, pulling him just a little closer. Seungkwan's heart felt warm and heavy from the gesture.
He wondered, then, if he should go about the darkness by himself. He would have to eventually if he wanted to stay, but he did not like the idea of walking these halls without Hansol's embrace for an entirely different reason. Seungkwan still felt safe in his arms, but he no longer felt in danger when he was without them. Even this thing within the darkness, he had become-
Seungkwan stopped as they crested the top of the stairs, Hansol humming in question. But there was nothing in the darkness but the darkness itself, so that-
“The darkness,” Seungkwan began slowly, trying to form his thoughts. “It's an extension of your father's power, isn't it? That presence that I feel.”
Hansol went rigid next to him. A confusing reaction. “It's… not. No.”
Seungkwan looked at the pinprick light of Hansol's eyes beside him. Because, of course, it wasn't Hades. “Then it is you.” The God of Shadows and Silence, his own presence weaved into the darkness that consumed this place.
“It seems to like you.”
“It wants you.”
“It would never harm you.”
“It was always you,” Seungkwan said into the quiet that followed.
Hansol's eyes blinked away into the darkness, his body shifting next to Seungkwan's. “It is an extension of myself. It is my shadow.”
Of course. Seungkwan felt so ashamed to have been scared of it before. He looked around them, seeing nothing in the void but seeing it anew at the same time. It was no longer the terrifying unknown but something welcoming. Something more like home.
“Is there a way I can walk through it like you?” Seungkwan suddenly found himself asking. “Can I see it like you do? Embody it like you do?”
When he turned back, Hansol's starlit eyes were on him again, pinning him in place. “That-...” He began and restarted his words. “Yes, but you may not like it.”
“Why not?”
“The darkness will become a part of you,” Hansol patiently explained. “You may change or be exactly the same. I do not know what will happen… If something does, I can remove the darkness from you again, but the process of all this may not be pleasant… I don't know.”
A big ask, then. One that should require much more thought before being put forth. Except- “If I am to stay here for the rest of my days, I need to not be so separate from the dark… I would like to try. Is that okay?”
“Yes,” Hansol replied, his voice raspy and breathless, though Seungkwan was unsure why. “It's okay.”
“What should I do?”
Hansol hesitated for a moment longer before unwinding his arm from Seungkwan's torso. He gently took Seungkwan's hands into his own. “I will let you go,” he said quietly, “and you will accept the darkness into you however you see fit. You will know what to do… If you become afraid, I will be right here. I'll chase away the shadows. You need only wish it.”
Seungkwan squeezed his hands, unafraid of this new venture. “Kiss me.” Hansol's lips immediately pressed to his, calming whatever anxiety was left in his bones to a dull thrum. With whatever left still wavering in his resolve now hardened, Seungkwan slowly pulled away from his kiss and stepped back, letting go of Hansol's hands.
The difference was immediate. He felt unmoored and weightless without his anchor there to guide him, and a part of Seungkwan desperately wished to panic and run back into his waiting arms. But Hansol was right there, Seungkwan knew even if he could not see. He was safe here, even as the darkness began to close in and touch him just as before.
Gentle brushings here and there, even reaching gently beneath his clothes and along his chest where physical touch shouldn't be able to exist so easily. He did not feel exposed, though, not in a bad way. It felt… comforting, strangely. It felt secure. Safe. Like Hansol.
Though, this shadow was certainly more bold.
Seungkwan reached out a hand to the darkness, and the darkness immediately reached back, enveloping his hand in a soft touch as it snaked along his wrist. He raised his arms, allowing it to spread further as it wished, offering himself to this unseen entity that held his complete trust. His head fell back as the tendrils reached his neck, gently feathering along his lips, and Seungkwan opened his mouth to welcome it. He could feel the darkness along his tongue, down his throat, and warmth filled him.
He drifted.
An eternity later, a hand touched along his jaw, and Seungkwan opened his eyes to see Hansol standing before him. The Underworld was still just as dark as before, but it was as if he had finally adjusted, the darkness no longer oppressive, simply welcoming him into the fold. He could see the tall arched ceilings and stone walls, detailed engravings etched painstakingly into each stone. He would have to observe these surroundings properly another time.
For now, he only wished to look upon Hansol in a way he hadn't seen him before. The shadows still clung to him, his eyes still shining their light underneath, but Seungkwan could see him completely now. Hansol looked awestruck, proud… and hungry.
“Seungkwan,” he breathed out before visibly gathering himself. “How do you feel?”
“Good,” Seungkwan answered, his own hand finding Hansol's face. “I can see you now… I feel no different. Just… better.”
Hansol nodded minutely, thumb brushing over his cheek. “Your eyes… One has changed color.”
Oh. Seungkwan hadn't expected that. His brow furrowed, unable to bite back a pout. “Does it look okay?” Though, even as the question left him, he supposed Hansol would only tell him what he wanted to hear in response to such a thing.
But Hansol's eyes grew heavy, his other hand coming up to brace against Seungkwan's neck. “Yes,” he answered, voice deep and gravelled. “You look-... You look… perfect…” The way he was looking at him, the way he said it, Seungkwan had trouble telling himself it was a lie.
He stepped forward, pulling Hansol into a kiss as deep as he could make it, and Hansol was instantly on him. Seungkwan found himself pressed against the wall, Hansol's body harshly caging him in. They had done a lot of kissing and heavy petting before, but this was as if a new beast had awoken in Hansol. He gasped away from Seungkwan's lips, his mouth finding his throat before going back for another deep kiss.
And Seungkwan wanted more. His hand slid into Hansol's hair, pulling him back. “I want you,” he said, no air in his lungs. “Take me. Hansol, please, I want-”
The wall behind him fell away, and Seungkwan would have given an undignified shriek if Hansol's hands had not been so securely wrapped around him. It was almost not a surprise at all when he fell back into his bed piled high with Hansol's collected furs, Hansol himself falling atop him before he could gather his bearings.
The shadows wisped across his body as Hansol's rough hands made quick but careful work of his robes. Every touch left shivers in their wake.
Seungkwan chanted his name like a prayer on his lips for hours.
Hansol made good on his promise to let Seungkwan explore more of the Underworld… eventually. For a time, both of them forgot all about the rest of the realm, far too busy exploring each other instead. Seungkwan had many admirers and lovers in the past, but none that he cared for like this and certainly none that were so attentive to his body or his needs. Hansol had so easily become a man obsessed, but Seungkwan could not speak as he was often the one reaching out first.
But alas, eventually, they did leave the bed chambers.
The darkness was so much easier to navigate now. What had once felt like the touch of a stranger was now the caress of an old friend gently leading him along. Of course, he still wordlessly clung to Hansol's side the second their walk began, and Hansol said nothing to make him stop.
As a matter of fact, a small smile seemed to grace his lips from the gesture. Something shy and intended to be hidden, something that he ducked his head to conceal even in the darkness.
Seungkwan found it incredibly endearing, but he said nothing to make Hansol embarrassed. He only weaved their fingers together and left it at that.
There were many halls and doors in the dark that Seungkwan had simply been unable to see before, the etchings and runes above each archway seeming to be either decoration or guides. He wasn't sure, but he was excited to learn once he had time. For now, he let Hansol lead them through a long hall with a vaulted ceiling, taking turns here and stairs there, slowly getting lower and lower into the catacombs, far lower than where his tree must be.
The time passed pleasantly, as it always did by Hansol's side. They talked of the carvings along the stone, stories from Hansol's childhood about running through these halls and getting scoldings from his mother, Seungkwan's own scoldings when he would hide from his mother in a sea of peonies as a boy, different kinds of flowers that grew on the surface, plants that could only grow underground, the fireflies' role in keeping the plants alive, Persephone's wit in discovering this loophole- so on and so forth until light finally met them.
Greenish-blue hues filtered through the darkness, not unlike the cerulean glow of Hansol's algae in their grotto. But this was a light bright enough to cast shadows through the wide arch. And when Seungkwan turned the corner, he found himself on a balcony overlooking a cavern so wide and so vast that he could not see the ends despite the distant glows of reds and yellows and whites.
Below was a river, the main lightsource of the bright green, so bright that it stung Seungkwan's eyes after being in the dark for so long. He could see in the distance from this great height the other end of the shore, but aside from the dark sand, he couldn't make out anything else beyond. There was a fog covering the land, a gigantic shadow moving within it, like a beast larger than a mountain.
The area was so vast, so consuming, that it took Seungkwan's breath. Hansol's hand pressed against the small of his back, reminding him of his presence. “Is it too much?” he asked quietly, suddenly unsure. “We can go back.”
Seungkwan could not go back now. He had far too many questions. “No, I-” But some questions were more urgent than others. “What is that? There, in the fog.”
“Cerberus,” Hansol answered easily, looking out to the massive shadow, a rare smile at the edge of his lips while he was in the light. Shadows still melted into him as they often did, but they were not so intimidating anymore. “He's my father's loyal… beast, I suppose you could say. I would like for you to meet him, eventually. He would like you a lot.”
“He would?” Seungkwan's eyes went back to the shadow of the beast, so many legs, so many heads- He had heard of Cerberus before. The Underworld's hound, they say. Hades' three-headed guard dog. For all the terrifying things said about this place, it seemed there was neglect in mentioning the beast's size.
“He's sweet,” Hansol continued. “When I was young, I would ride him all over the Underworld, like an affectionate ship passing through. He's working right now, though. He's better at patrolling the river than the rest of us.”
“Patrolling the river?” Seungkwan could not help but parrot back responses, more questions filling his mind as Hansol spoke. The wording of us, for instance, seemed to imply that Hansol had duties to attend to in this place. As expected, even if Seungkwan had not considered this before, but he now wondered what those duties were and if he was abandoning them lately. It seemed like they spent every moment together now.
Not that Seungkwan was complaining-
“The souls,” Hansol said, looking down to the river. “Most are already at peace, but some have trouble accepting their fate.” Seungkwan stepped closer to the ledge to peer down, finding that the light was not from water but from wisps of smoke. “They often try to climb from the river along the banks, so we have to coax them back in. If not, they would be left to wander and would never find rest.”
“These are spirits of the dead,” Seungkwan exhaled, suddenly looking at the Underworld at an entirely new angle. Of course, he knew, of course- Everyone knew what purpose the Underworld served. But death was a tragic thing, something horrible, often something violent. And yet, to see it in this way-... “There are so many.”
Hansol's voice grew quiet again. “The world is a big place,” he said in a murmur. “We do not have to go deeper.”
And for a moment, Seungkwan did consider turning his back on the river. All he'd ever known of death was unpleasant and depressing. But this- “No,” he found himself saying, hungry to know more. “Can we go along the banks? I'd like a closer look.”
Silence met him for a moment. “If that is your wish.” Hansol took Seungkwan's hand gently into his own, steering him to the side where a wide staircase descended down from the balcony and to the shore below. “If you wish to leave, you need only say it. I'll take you far from here.”
“I am not afraid,” Seungkwan replied and found that he meant it. “When are they to be sorted?”
“Sorted?”
“Into the good and bad,” Seungkwan explained, not looking away from the river as they walked. “The loyal and traitors. Hell and- Well-”
“There's none of that,” Hansol answered with a shake of his head. “Perhaps many deserve a bad place and others somewhere good, but all we offer them is rest after life. My father believes that every soul deserves some measure of peace. Whatever is left comes from their own thoughts. Hell is a making of your own mind, as they say.”
Seungkwan fell quiet, processing Hanol's words. The term Hell had taken on a new meaning since he had arrived, and to hear it now used like this… He did not know what to say, so he watched the river of souls until their feet touched black sand.
Up close, it was hard to tell if the river was flowing like it seemed to be from above. Here, it looked like swirling mist so thick that Seungkwan knew he would get lost inside if he got too close. And yet-
“It's beautiful,” he heard himself say, stepping closer, hand safe in Hansol's. “This is how souls truly look?”
“Yes,” Hansol answered. His head was turned in the periphery of Seungkwan's vision, looking at him and not the river. “Some are brighter than others.”
Were they? Seungkwan could not tell. In the mist, they all glowed as one, drifting towards somewhere unknown. He moved closer, wanting to see these brighter souls Hansol spoke of. “Can we-?”
But his voice and thoughts were drawn to a sharp halt as the river rippled. Seungkwan froze, and translucent hands appeared from the mist, reaching out towards him.
Hansol gently tugged him back. “They can feel the life within you,” he explained in a whisper. “They are drawn to it… I should have guessed they would be.”
Seungkwan stumbled away, not wanting to upset the river or the souls within, wondering if he should be worried or afraid or neither. “Can they not feel you?” he asked, but the question seemed to land on deaf ears.
One hand had grasped the sand between bony fingers, clawing its way forward, slowly but surely pulling itself from the river's flow. A hallowed shoulder emerged, followed by a head with empty sockets for eyes, jaw agape and heaving for breath.
Again, Seungkwan wondered if he should be afraid.
Hansol tugged him again, ushering him back before he himself walked forward, leaving Seungkwan behind. Without being able to cling to him, Seungkwan felt oddly exposed, but Hansol stepped to the river's edge with purpose and poise. He carefully crouched down next to the soul as they finally got a second arm free, but they stopped and looked up at him as if they could see. Hansol reached out, gently taking one of their hands into his own, whispering words that Seungkwan could not hear. The tension from the soul seemed to lessen, their eyes growing heavy, and Hansol placed a hand upon their shoulder to slowly lay them back into the river. Even once they were back in place and began to drift, Hansol held their hand until the soul let go.
When he stood again to his full height, Hansol looked back to Seungkwan.
And Seungkwan came to two conclusions. The first was that he could not run forward into Hansol's embrace lest he upset the souls again. So he reached out and motioned to Hansol. As beautiful as he was against the multicolored backlight of the Underworld's atmosphere, he would always be better up close.
Naturally, he immediately turned away from the river, immediately back to Seungkwan's side. And, naturally, the first words he spoke were those born of insecurity. “Are you all right?” he muttered, a hand taking Seungkwan's as his eyebrows furrowed. “I know that sight must have-... It had to be terrifying.”
“No,” Seungkwan answered just as quietly with a shake of his head, his free hand caressing Hansol's cheek and jaw. “No, it wasn't terrifying at all.” His fingers dipped into Hansol's hair, pulling him closer into a kiss.
The second conclusion was that Seungkwan was deeply and truly in love for the first time in his life.
The vastness of the Underworld could not be overstated. Hell seemed to stretch into eternity. In some areas, Seungkwan could only see a distant horizon lit by the glow of souls or flame (he often could not tell which). In other places, the halls webbed out into endless tunnels, some ending in stately dining halls while others seemed to be chapels of some sort.
Seungkwan had stopped asking so many questions early on. He was still hungry and desperate for knowledge, but now he felt that it would all come in time. If he tried to learn everything in one hour, in one day, he would surely overwhelm himself.
Thankfully, Hansol was a patient and dutiful guide. He always gave information before a question could fully form in Seungkwan's mind, though the things he said often left even more questions in their wake. But he was ever gentle as they moved along from place to place, never questioning Seungkwan's bravery or stamina but always making it known that he was open to returning to their chambers at any time. He clearly did not want to overwhelm Seungkwan. Or, worse, scare him.
It was always Hansol who called an end to their adventures around the Underworld, though Seungkwan never complained. It was only after hours of walking and learning and exploring that Hansol would leave more to see for another time. If it were solely up to Seungkwan, he would have most likely exhausted himself long ago.
But there was time to see every crevice the Underworld had to offer. They need not rush.
They were resting together after one such expedition on a chaise out on the caged-in balcony overlooking their great tree. Hansol on his back with his arms around Seungkwan, who rested atop him with an ear against his chest, letting his lover's slow heartbeat lull him into a perfect doze.
He was content in this place. In the Underworld. In Hell. More content than he could ever recall. The circumstances of his arrival may have been… unfortunate, but he did not regret any of his actions or choices thus far. It all led him here.
And there had been something on his mind for a time. He still had not met Persephone or Hades, but-...
His eyes peered open. “Hansol?”
The other hummed beneath him, the sound coming out like a gentle purr from deep in his chest. His lips were pressed to Seungkwan's hair, the hand not around his waist gently massaging against his scalp. Seungkwan could imagine his face, especially now that he had seen him in his most vulnerable and most beautiful states. His eyes were likely closed, dark lashes fanned out over pale cheeks, the tiniest upturn to the left corner of his lips, exuding a rare kind of happiness that only few could find.
A happiness that Seungkwan shared. “They say up above that your mother ate seeds from a pomegranate and was bound here.”
Hansol hummed again. “It was her idea,” he muttered gently. “My father was completely unaware until she returned ninety days later.”
Seungkwan frowned. Once again, that was not the story he had heard. “He didn't know anything?”
“No,” Hansol answered. “I know they claim he tricked her, though. In truth, between the two of them, my mother is much better at wits and tricks than him.”
Seungkwan huffed a breathless laugh. He wanted to meet her so badly, but he still did not have the courage to ask. He bit his lip and decided to ask for a different thing. “I have not seen any fruit since I arrived. Even in the dining halls we walked through, the platters and goblets were bare.”
“There are fruits here,” the other answered, the breath of his voice brushing through Seungkwan's hair like a small breeze. “I've kept them away so that you wouldn't accidentally eat one and find yourself bound here as well.”
Oh. Knowing what he does now, Seungkwan thought that to be a typical answer coming from Hansol. Of course, he would do such a thing. “What if I wanted to eat one?”
Hansol… frowned. It was subtle to tell from this position, but Seungkwan could feel the shift. “You want to?” he asked.
And Seungkwan found the answer very easy. “Yes.”
Silence answered him for the longest time. Hansol did not tense up, though. His body did not go rigid, his fingers still carefully carded through Seungkwan's hair. But then, after what felt like such a long time, Hansol finally answered, “I would not allow it.”
He-... Seungkwan raised up to look into his eyes. “What do you mean? You wouldn't allow it? What's that supposed to-?”
“My dearest gem, do not be sad.” Hansol had a touch of a smile on his lips, but there was a twist in his expression like he was in pain. His hands had moved to cup Seungkwan's face in his hands. “It's so difficult to deny you anything, did you know that? But I-... I cannot grant this.”
Despite himself, Seungkwan could feel his pout become sharper. “Why not?” He could not help the hurt in his tone. He wanted everything with Hansol. He wanted eternity with him like he'd never wanted anything else. He had found the courage to ask, so confident that they felt the same for one another. But this-... The matter being put aside so easily. It felt like the most painful rejection one could face. For Hansol to reject him now, when Seungkwan was trying to give him his heart…
Hansol sat up. “Darling,” he whispered, pressing a careful kiss to Seungkwan's forehead. “I cannot shackle you here.”
“Shackle-?”
Hansol's lips brushed against his own. “I know you still miss the sight of the Sun and the touch of the wind. These are things I could never give to you. You may want to stay now, but I will never let that choice become a regret later.”
Seungkwan's hand found Hansol's arm, traveling its length to twine their fingers together against his face. “Hansol…” He could feel hot tears against the back of his eyes. Understanding the decision did not make it hurt any less. Don't you want me to stay? He could not bring himself to ask such a question. The answer would surely rend his chest open.
Hansol brushed his lips against Seungkwan's temple, ever gentle, ever sweet. “You need not eat the fruit,” he continued. “The Underworld will always belong to you so long as you want her.”
Seungkwan did not want the Underworld. He did not want the architecture or the wealth or the legions of souls. He did not want towering beasts or sprawling cathedrals or endless horizons.
He only wanted Hansol.
Hansol, whose hand rested against his cheek, whose lips peppered comforting kisses across his face, whose eyes looked sad and conflicted even this close. Hansol, who perhaps… did not want him as much as Seungkwan thought…
Seungkwan willed away his tears before they could fall. He was being selfish and childish. Hansol's logic was… sound… He tucked his face into the crook of Hansol's neck, pressing his weight until they both fell back into the chaise. Seungkwan found Hansol's heartbeat with his ear again, now only wanting to forget the conversation.
Some things might as well be impossible to forget, though. The more one tries not to think about it, the more they do, and Seungkwan's mood had plummeted for days. He did not mean to show his sadness, attempting to hide it behind smiles and kisses, but Hansol appeared to see straight through him. More fireflies flew around their grotto, more furs adorned Seungkwan's bed, and the conversations had become quieter and quieter.
They could discuss it further, Seungkwan supposed, but he felt like they would only go around in circles. He felt that he would only come out of it more hurt than he already was, and Hansol would not be hurt at all.
He felt childish. He felt silly. Hansol was right. Maybe Seungkwan would like to visit the surface again someday. He missed his mother, didn't he? Fields of green and meadows of gold and rivers of blue. The Sun, the wind, and so on. Eventually, Seungkwan may miss it enough to leave Hansol's side for a while.
The thought was abhorrent right now, though. He did not want to leave Hansol's side for anything. That feeling would fade, Seungkwan knew, but he also knew that his love was real. He wanted to prove it to Hansol, to show how much love he held within him, to give everything of himself.
But Hansol refused him, and despite how rational and thoughtful the explanation was, it still felt like a painful rejection. So even though it was the last thing Seungkwan wanted, the two of them began to become more distant. Not physically, for they still certainly spent every moment together, but the talks stopped, the walks slowed, the touches were stilted, and even lingering looks were avoided.
Perhaps they should talk. Perhaps Seungkwan should just brave the sword and fall atop it. If that was what it took for this awkwardness to cease, for the pain in Hansol's eyes to fade, then maybe the hurt of a second rejection wouldn't be so bad.
Seungkwan stood with his toes inches away from bubbling lava, contemplating his new choices.
Despite the new growing rift between them, Hansol was still showing him different parts of the Underworld everyday. He had been nervous when they first set out on this most recent expedition, citing the heat and pressure in a self-conscious mutter, but Seungkwan simply shook his head with a smile and reassured him that he would say something if he wanted to leave. Before, Seungkwan perhaps would have gone further, would have made up a story or pretended to be even a little anxious, but he was too tired to fake anything these days.
The flow of lava always calmed him, the warmth making him feel comforted, the pressure like a hug. His mother did not want him anywhere near lava, though, explaining that the son of Ares would not like such an environment. Appearances and all that.
For others, maybe it was uncomfortable. Seungkwan didn't know. And he was too tired to guess. He was too tired for many things these days.
But today, Hansol had taken him to the deep lava pools scattered at one of the lowest rungs of the Underworld. There was not much to see, Hansol explained, but he thought Seungkwan might want a peek. He had been surprised when Seungkwan approached for a closer view but said nothing.
The pools were of varying levels, some filled to the brim and nearly overflowing while others were much lower. Large, black stone steps were set into the side of the pits, allowing anyone who dared to lower themselves down to the lava's level for one reason or another. Again, Hansol had been surprised when Seungkwan began to follow the stairs down. Again, he said nothing.
Seungkwan wondered how deep these pools were, but the thought was unimportant. His mind turned to Hansol as it inevitably did, especially with the man standing beside him in his own quiet contemplation.
The lava was always silent. It made everything simple, made everything a little more clear. Hansol did not want to shackle him here, as he said, because he knew he missed the Sun, knew he missed his mother, and the possibility of being locked here for eternity was high whether they intended it or not. Persephone was lucky to be able to travel to the surface as much as she could. Seungkwan may not be so lucky. This was a decision that could not be made with haste and certainly not based solely on emotion.
At the same time, the rejection still stung and his feelings should not be ignored on the matter. But Hansol's view of himself and his self-worth was evident the hour Seungkwan arrived. In one of their very first conversations, he was already denouncing the beauty of his own creations. Seungkwan was not sure where such thoughts were coming from, but he did know that it would not be so farfetched for Hansol to believe that all of this was temporary. That Seungkwan's love was conditional. That one day, Seungkwan may randomly choose to leave for good. And if he did, Hansol would likely let him go with only silence at his back.
That thought hurt as well. The idea that Hansol would show that he did not care would be painful, but worse was that Hansol would hide his deep pain for him alone to bear.
Yet more reasons to eat the Underworld's fruit, to prove to Hansol that he would never leave him. But even that would come with its own problems. For Hansol's sake, he would be so worried and anxious that Seungkwan would eventually want to leave and could not, would think that Seungkwan would grow to resent and hate him. Maybe after time passed, his mind would change, but Seungkwan knew that the anxiety would fester. And for Seungkwan's sake, he could not make such a decision about his own well-being based on the problems of someone else, no matter how much love he held for Hansol.
For both of their sakes, this decision had to be thought through completely, leaving no room for doubt in either of their minds. Seungkwan would be bound to Hansol and the Underworld. That was also a matter he had to face and consider before doing this. He liked the Underworld very much, obviously, but there was much responsibility here. He still had so much to learn.
Someday, with time, he would be able to prove his love to Hansol. Until then, he could not allow these slights to continue hurting him. Better yet, he could slowly open up more discussions about this pain in Hansol's heart. If he made his lover realize that the pain he carried was also hurting Seungkwan, maybe he would be willing to let him help.
Time, then. Patience. They could do that.
And no more doubting. Seungkwan knew that Hansol cared deeply for him. He could not let himself doubt that again.
“The God of Ember,” Hansol muttered next to him. Seungkwan turned, thrown from his thoughts, to see Hansol watching him like he was a particularly difficult puzzle that was suddenly presenting a solution. “This is quite a bit more than embers.”
Seungkwan could say nothing, could wave it away, and he knew that Hansol would let it go. But the truth was already at their feet. The look of understanding in Hansol's eyes was enough.
And perhaps it was the distance from his mother, perhaps it was the trust and love he held for Hansol, or perhaps it was the exhaustion weighing him down… Regardless, Seungkwan was unafraid and merely offered back a smile.
“My father is not Ares,” he spoke for the first time in his life. “I am the son of Hephaestus.”
Strangely enough, at a time when Seungkwan thought he could feel very little of anything, the weight lifting from his chest as he spoke the words into existence was somehow palpable.
Hansol was unsurprised by the truth, but he did tilt his head cutely, seemingly confused. “Why would Aphrodite lie?”
It was a good enough question. Hephaestus was the one she was promised to, after all. It was her that chose to sneak away, to visit Ares and others who were willing to share their hearts and beds. Then, to have a son outside of this union- It did not seem to owe her any favors.
But the answer was quite simple really. “She did not want to be bound to him anymore than she already was.” He was unsure how Hansol would take such a truth, given their own situation of binding oneself to a lover. But it was the truth, and Seungkwan continued to smile. “No one else knows this secret.”
“I will never utter it,” Hansol promised.
“I know,” Seungkwan answered, reaching out to gently take Hansol's hand in his. “On the surface, to keep appearances, I was not allowed around the lava much. I was never able to stretch the bounds of my power. But, for some reason, being in a place like this makes the world seem simple. I'm able to put things into perspective…”
Hansol squeezed his hand. “I'm sorry,” he said quietly, surprising Seungkwan but continuing before he could ask. “I hurt you. That was never my intention. I wanted the opposite.”
“Sweet Hansol,” Seungkwan sighed, tracing his fingers over Hansol's brow and into his hair. “I know that. It did hurt, but I understand… We'll take things slow. I'll prove my feelings for you and make myself worthy of this place. Then, once we're both sure and the time is right, we'll… revisit the conversation… All right?”
Emotion had overtaken Hansol's heavy gaze. It was complicated and overflowing, more than what Seungkwan had seen from him yet. Then he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Seungkwan's waist, pressing their foreheads together- “You are worthy,” he whispered beneath his breath, voice wavering with something unnamed. “You are more than worthy.”
Heart in his throat, Seungkwan brushed his lips to Hansol's, the kiss featherlight for all of a moment. One of them deepened it, then another tugged on their robes, and Seungkwan pulled them down to the stone as the lava began to rise, molten heat nipping at his heels as his heart swelled. If the mere pressure was a hug, being engulfed might as well have been an embrace, and Seungkwan opened his mouth for the warmth of their love.
After some time, the lava began to lower, and Hansol led Seungkwan out of the pit by his hand, the lava flowing away from them like water off a lilypad. Their clothes, though-...
Hansol's eyes scanned down his body with an interest that never seemed to cease.
Seungkwan happily smiled back. “Perhaps I should wear robes of black from now on.”
“Wha-”
It seemed like every time Seungkwan woke, Hansol had some kind of surprise to show him. It was usually accompanied with no small amount of giddy anxiety, but Hansol seemed to have a confidence about him today, an excitement making his smile wide and eyes glitter.
It was wonderful and precious, but that did not help Seungkwan's confusion. “What is this?”
His room had been changed somewhat. Now, what was once a bare corner of the room had been transformed into a small yet deep tub of molten lava set into the stone.
Hansol stood beside the pool with the widest smile Seungkwan had seen on him yet, making him return the smile all too easily. “You said that you couldn't stretch the bounds of your power on the surface,” Hansol explained. “You said the lava made you feel more comfortable, too. More centered. I wanted that for you… I can bring more, if you want. It'll light the halls, too, and-”
“No.” Seungkwan reached out to squeeze Hansol's hand. His lover seemed surprised to suddenly be turned down but- “I like the dark,” Seungkwan continued, and Hansol melted back into a happy grin. The affection Seungkwan felt for him then was nearly overwhelming, so he bowed his head and bit his lip. “Hansol… Thank you… This was so kind of you.” He did not know how to translate what he felt into words or actions. This was no problem for him usually, but to feel this much for someone-
Seungkwan lifted his hand and placed a gentle kiss on his knuckles. “No one's ever done something like this for me. I don't know how to thank you.” No one has done any of the things Hansol has done for him…
“You do not have to thank me,” Hansol answered quietly. His finger reached out, tucking beneath Seungkwan's chin to lift his face. “I only wish for you to be happy.”
A breath left Seungkwan in a laugh, squeezing Hansol's hand tighter before suddenly embracing him. “I am happy.” He was happier here in the depths of the Underworld than he had ever been in his life, but to put the feeling into words sometimes felt like far too much. For now, what he could manage to say was true enough. He was very happy…
But-... He pulled away from Hansol's arms to look into the lava. “Only… I am not sure what to do with this gift. I don't know the depths of my power. I don't know anything that I could do.”
“We can learn,” Hansol answered simply, brushing a lock of hair from Seungkwan's eyes. “Using the lava to forge new things seems to be what most can do with a gift like yours.”
Was that true? Hephaestus could do such things, Seungkwan had been told, but could he do something like that? His head tilted a bit. “But I am not sure what I would make,” he said quietly, feeling a pout on his lips and unable to suppress it. Then he looked around and his pout grew. “Or what I would make anything from.” Metals and gems were aplenty in the Underworld, but how could one use these resources? His options felt limited or perhaps he was thinking too big…
Hansol hummed, running careful fingers over Seungkwan's scalp. “Nothing has to be done today,” he said in the slow, contemplative tone he often carried when trying to help Seungkwan solve a problem. Except, he suddenly froze, gasped- “I have an idea.” Then Hansol vanished from Seungkwan's side, evaporating into the shadows of the room.
Seungkwan didn't like it when Hansol vanished like that, but he had not told him yet. It was always a little scary, though. He would be there one moment and gone the next. It made Seungkwan want to cling to him tighter. It certainly made his pout even more pronounced. “Hansol-”
As if answering back, Hansol stepped from the shadows at the far wall. There was a smile on his face and something tucked tight in his grasp as he approached. “I apologize, my darling.” A teasing glint was in his eyes that Seungkwan did not point out, simply happy to have his lover returned. But then Hansol opened his hands and- “The idea came to me, and I had to retrieve this.”
In Hansol's palms, once again, sat Aphrodite's dagger.
Seungkwan had disposed of the thing so long ago now, it felt as if months or years had passed in that time. Seeing it again after so long felt like waking from a dream, getting drenched with reality. The dagger he was meant to plunge into Hansol's heart… The mere thought of it now-
Hansol closed his hands around it again, and finally, the anxiety that seemed to have escaped him all this time had found its way back. His brow furrowed, the shadows gathered, his smile bled away. “I should not have-... I'm sorry. It is only that… you said you did not wish to remember her like this. I thought-...” His voice trailed away, whatever thought he had fading with it.
But Seungkwan wrapped his hand over Hansol's before he could turn away. Because while the thought of his original mission was still more painful than he could bear, Hansol's wish for him was so much more than that. “My sweet Hansol,” he muttered between them. “This is so thoughtful, I-... My love, thank you.” For a fraction of a second, Hansol looked up with surprise in his eyes, but Seungkwan was quick to kiss his lips and make him forget the weight of his words.
Confessions were for another time. A later time. Let him think it is a simple pet name for now.
But no sooner than their lips parted- “Seungkwan-”
Seungkwan looked down to the dagger, ignoring whatever Hansol was about to utter. “I should make something for you,” he said instead, lifting it from his hands. It felt heavier than before. Colder. “What should I make?”
“Not- Not for me,” Hansol answered, swallowing thickly but quickly returning to the moment. “I want you to make something for yourself, not me.”
So sweet. So precious. Affection could choke Seungkwan in his slumber. “But I do not know what to make,” he said with a sad smile. “I do not even know how to make it.”
Seeming to have gathered himself, Hansol rested his hands along Seungkwan's arms, his thumb brushing gently over a line of exposed skin. “You do not need to know. Just let yourself feel whatever you must and the rest will come naturally. That is how I work with the dark and the plants and the stone. It must be the same.”
“Feel whatever I must,” Seungkwan repeated, voice trailing away.
“For your mother, maybe,” Hansol suggested.
While Seungkwan turned the words over in his thoughts, Hansol guided him near the rim of the lava's pool. They looked inside at the haunting glow for a moment in contemplative silence, but then Hansol began to move, rolling up Seungkwan's sleeves without a word.
It was such a simple gesture yet such a quietly intimate one. Again, Seungkwan wanted to voice his feelings and found that he could not.
But the very object he held was what led him to this place. This great mission from Olympus, his mother refusing to speak on his true lineage, Seungkwan's own need to please others to the point of agreeing to take a stranger's life- The grandeur and insanity of the surface world. But it was also true that Seungkwan missed his mother. He missed the birds' chirps and the rushing streams and the crunch of snow. And he would give it all up forever if it meant he never had to see this blade again or leave Hansol's side.
It was so complicated, so confusing. He was not sure how to feel…
Seungkwan dipped his hands into the lava, letting the fire consume his mother's dagger as he closed his eyes and tried to decipher the emotions in his heart. He held so much love for his mother and the surface, but there was so much fear, too. So much anger. For them to threaten Hansol's life, for making Seungkwan involved in their plots, for sending him away from everything he had ever known. But also for giving him the most precious gift in the universe, a gift that even Gaia herself could never grant willingly. For all of those terrible things, he was given Hansol. He was given companionship and understanding and family and love. He only had to give up everything he once loved to have it.
But he would always make the same choice. The surface, Olympus, Zeus, Aphrodite, all of it. Every day, Seungkwan would make the same choice. Bitter, though it tasted, the price was worth every drop.
Seungkwan opened his eyes and slowly pulled his hands from the fire… And he blinked. “Oh. I-... Did I do something wrong?”
For in his hands, there was a lump. A strange, curling, spiked lump, golden in color and not shaped like anything Seungkwan had seen before. His lump was pointed on all ends, perhaps like a sea urchin of some sort or a strange shell. Seungkwan could not understand.
But Hansol- “You did it,” he gasped with a smile in his voice. “It's wonderful.”
“It is?” Hansol did not sound like he was lying, but Seungkwan could not quite see the beauty that his lover seemed to be imagining.
Hansol's hand brushed against the jagged edges, fingertips tracing the curves. “It is a start,” he admitted but did so quite happily. “You reshaped it. If you had not, these points would not be here. See? You can forge metals. That is no small thing, Seungkwan. It is incredible.”
The fact that Seungkwan could do something like this was pretty incredible, he did have to admit that much. In fact, after hearing Hansol's words, he could not suppress his own smile. “But what is it? What did I make?”
“I don't know,” Hansol said with a tilt of his head. “Whatever you wish it to be.”
Seungkwan snorted, handing it to his lover. He did say he would make him something. “What would you do with it?”
Hansol hummed and took the lump from his hands. That had been easier to give away than Seungkwan expected. But Hansol turned the strange lump this way and that, holding it far more carefully in his hands than was necessary, and certainly giving the thing more thought than was warranted.
But then Hansol turned to him and deftly affixed the curling strange lump to Seungkwan's ear. “Is it uncomfortable?” he asked, a happy smile on his face as if he'd just tucked a flower into his hair. “It looks so pretty on you like this.”
“It does?” Seungkwan had seen people along the shores of the ocean wear such jewelry. It looked good on them. He had never tried it. Now, he reached out to gently touch the golden piece. “It is comfortable,” he absently answered. “Does it really look okay?”
“It looks amazing,” Hansol answered, cupping Seungkwan's face in his hands. “You are beautiful. My most precious gem, I-...” Hansol blinked, his words trailing away, but his smile remained and his thumb brushed Seungkwan's lip. “You are beautiful,” he said again, whispering the words.
Seungkwan would not allow himself to speculate on what his words could have been. Instead, he closed the distance between them once more.
Time seemed to pass more easily afterwards. Melting down the dagger had given Seungkwan some strange form of closure, not really enough for him to forgive what could have been, but enough for his heart to rest easier over his part in the plotting. Truthfully, he would have never harmed Hansol. Perhaps if his lover had been an evil man, had tortured Seungkwan, had pushed him to the point of necessity, maybe Seungkwan could have allowed himself to take a life.
Now, Seungkwan would do anything to protect Hansol. He would do more for Hansol's life and comfort and happiness than he would ever do for himself.
But it did not matter now. The one thing that could harm him in this place was destroyed. Seungkwan slept more peacefully because of it, not even realizing before that the anxiety remained at all.
The only problems anymore were about timing. Seungkwan did not want to keep anything from Hansol, wanted them to share their every thought with one another, but he could not voice his feelings for him just yet. He must be more patient or risk coming to the same rejection that he had faced before. It was still too soon for Hansol, he knew.
Seungkwan was left showing his love for Hansol in other ways, in nearly any way that did not require verbalizing the thought. Small gestures here and there, sometimes bigger things when he took Hansol to his bed, but none of it truly felt like enough. He could not give Hansol a grotto and a flowering tree, after all.
So, practice with the lava became a daily occurrence, much to Hansol's happiness. Together, they explored who Seungkwan really was, the things that he could really do. A slow process, but one he would not want to do with anyone else. And perhaps, someday, he could give Hansol something wonderful, too.
And, for a while, time passed by in perfect bliss.
Then one day, Hansol tensed in his arms. “Someone is here.” He pulled away from Seungkwan's embrace, sitting up and looking around in the darkness.
They were beneath the great tree, lounging along the rocky shore. It had been Seungkwan who had pulled them down to the sands, as it often was, but Hansol had been all too willing to go. But their peace had been broken, the serene smile on Seungkwan's face falling into nervousness. “Your parents?”
Time was strange in the Underworld, but it must have been many moons since Seungkwan arrived. He'd only encountered a single other living soul in all his time here, if Cerberus' hulking shadow in the distance did not count. It was long since past the time for Seungkwan to meet Hades and Persephone, and he had been eager to do just that.
But… perhaps some amount of warning first… He must make a good first impression-
“No,” Hansol answered, cutting through his thoughts. “It is someone else,” he said, scanning the walls as if he could see through them. “Someone is at the entrance.”
The entrance. The steps. Seungkwan had not been to that place since he had arrived. “Who?” he asked, also rising.
But instead of answering, Hansol took his hand and whisked them away into the darkness. They had done this together only a few times before, most often when passion and lust had become overwhelming and their current location was deemed… ill-suited for such activities. But now, Seungkwan only felt curiosity and a small dose of dread.
Seungkwan himself had made the trek to the Underworld, after all. He knew how long and difficult the road was. No one would come here idly. Most would choose to never come at all, if they could. Then who-
The two lovers materialized into the long corridor that Hansol had first led Seungkwan down, and a shouting voice met them.
“Hades!! I know that you keep him here! Come out of your dark hovel, you coward!”
And though the voice sounded much angrier than he was accustomed to, Seungkwan recognized it. He pulled away from Hansol's grasp and walked into the light of the ledge, the very place where they had first met. And below him, standing in fiery glory, soot and ash staining her perfect skin and anger marking her beautiful face-
“Mother,” Seungkwan gasped and rushed down the hidden steps.
Aphrodite, initially shocked at his sudden appearance, rushed forward to meet him at the foot of the ledge. They embraced, and Seungkwan was flooded with memories of the surface world, the scent of flowers and fresh air still clinging to his mother's robes, the warmth of her tight hug taking him back to the much simpler days of his youth.
Just as the memories began to get overwhelming and tears threatened to spring from his eyes out of sheer longing, Aphrodite backed away to hold him at arm's length. He smiled but she was not smiling back. Her brow was furrowed, something frightened on her face. “Seungkwan… Your eyes…”
His- Oh!
Her hand was on the side of his face, her body leaning closer. “What has happened? Were you hurt? Did they-?”
“No, no.” He did not know what she was going to say, but he would absolutely stop her from saying it. “No, mother, it's not that. This helps me see in the darkness of this place. It doesn't hurt.”
She leaned away from him again, her brow furrowed even more, confusion all over her beautiful features. “Helps you see in the darkness,” she slowly repeated, looking him up and down like she was unsure of who he was. “What has happened? Saying such things…”
Of course, all of this only made Seungkwan confused, too. “What?”
But Aphrodite was looking around like some threat could jump out from behind a rock at any given moment. “What of your purpose here? What has happened to-?” Then her eyes caught on something behind him, and Aphrodite froze much like a prey meeting a predator, as if she suddenly thought doom was imminent.
Seungkwan swiftly turned, looked up at the ledge, and only found Hansol still in the shadows of the doorway, his starlight eyes shining in the dark. To Aphrodite, he must look like how Seungkwan had seen him on his first day here.
That was easy enough to resolve. “Oh, mother,” he said, turning back to her with a relieved smile. “That is only Hansol, son of Perseophone and Hades. He is kind but shy to new people.”
“Shy?” she asked in an odd tone.
But Seungkwan had already turned back around, excited for them to meet. “Hansol,” he called up to him. “This is Aphrodite, my mother. Please, come meet her. I want her to know you.”
Perhaps it was a bit of a mean thing. After all, Seungkwan was frightened to meet Hansol's parents merely a few moments ago. But he knew an exploit that would make Hansol do as he wished, and that was to only wish it aloud. If Seungkwan wanted something, Hansol would see it done.
Like now, though awkward and stiff, Hansol stepped out into the light of the ledge. His face was cold like marble, a stern sort of confidence shining from him, something that Seungkwan thought he must take from Hades as a type of shield. Hansol was so easily hurt, after all, but they were working on that.
And, of course, there was the entire… plot of his assassination, but Aphrodite would not mention it in present company. She would see that Seungkwan has found love in him, and would look at him for herself to find it. She would understand Hansol as Seungkwan does and understand that this was all insanity from the start.
But when Seungkwan turned back to her, Aphrodite was still frozen, still terror deep in her eyes, but a grimace set upon her lips, her hands flexing minutely against Seungkwan's arms. She appeared to be ready for fight or flight, and with her son between them, the former was taking precedence.
Seungkwan made to speak, confused.
But Aphrodite pulled him closer, her eyes set harshly on Hansol. “Snake,” she hissed. “You've bewitched him, haven't you? You spawn of demons-”
“Mother!” Seungkwan, aghast at what he was hearing, pulled himself free of her. “Why are you saying such things!? I am not bewitched! I've-”
She grabbed his forearm in an iron grip, yanking him back to her side like an unruly child. “You- Seungkwan, my son. You're coming back to the surface with me. Right now. Immediately.”
His heart stuttered to a stop within his chest. “What? No, I'm- No!” He tried to pull free of her again, but her strength was suddenly more than his own.
“Yes!” Aphrodite argued. “This man- This place has transfixed you, Seungkwan! Don't you see it! You must return with me now!”
Seungkwan's heart, now restarted, was racing at such implications, a wild beat in his heart that made his mind go to terrible places- But he tried to breathe. He thought of the lava in his chambers, of Hansol's arms around his waist, and tried to not let this get out of hand anymore than it already was. “Mother,” he tried again, more calmly this time. “Mother, listen. I have not been bewitched or transfixed or any of these things. I was promised to Hansol, and I have found a home here. This is-”
“Home?” she spat. “Do you hear yourself!? Home is beneath the sky, Seungkwan, not beneath the mud!”
Seungkwan was beginning to lose his patience. “Mother, please-”
But her grip only tightened. “If you do not come back with me right this instant, I will have Zeus and Poseidon come and drag you out themselves!”
This threat stopped him. Normally, he may say it was a bluff. Aphrodite may be bold enough to ask them, but why would they do such a thing for a lesser god like himself. But this was not a normal case. He had been sent here on a mission, and their coming here could possibly mean they intend to see it through. At best, it could be all three brothers meeting in awkward talks. At worst, it could be an open war between the Underworld and Olympus. Anything in between could mean death for Hansol.
“You wouldn't,” Seungkwan said, but knew he was wrong. Aphrodite would do anything for her son. “Mother-” He tried again to pull his arm free. “You don't understand. Please, listen-”
“I cannot!” she nearly screamed. “You have been changed by this place! Even your very eyes have changed! Seungkwan, this man has done something terrible to you.”
“That's not true!”
“The surface can cure you,” she continued. “Once you're away from this dark place, once you're back in the light where you belong, you will see!”
Seungkwan shook his head, but the moment also presented him with a solution. His thoughts turned to Persephone, and the idea was out of his mouth before he could think further. “I will- What if I went with you for a time? What if I went back and proved to you that I wasn't changed by this place? If you understand that this is my decision, will you let me return?”
That seemed to bring her to a pause for a moment, her eyes flashing, before she said, “A year.”
“A- No! No, I'm not leaving for a year!”
“A year, Seungkwan-”
“I meant, for a moment! For an hour!”
“A year!”
Damn it all, damn- He could not panic. Think of Hansol. “Three months,” he heard himself say.
Aphrodite did not appear to like this answer, anger consuming her features, but her tone remained level. “Six months.”
“Three,” Seungkwan shot back with a firmness he did not know he possessed. “Ninety days. That is the most you will get from me. That is all you will get.”
“Ninety days,” she hissed again, her eyes moving back to Hansol who had not moved an inch since the conversation had turned. “You've fed him the cursed fruit of this place, haven't you? Trapping him here just like your father had done to dear Persephone!”
“I have not eaten the fruits!” Seungkwan shouted above her. “It will be my choice to return, no one else's! And I will prove to you that this is what I want!”
Her teeth were grit with rage, but Aphrodite seemed to finally relent. “Fine. We leave. Now.”
Now? “I- Wait, no! Give me-!”
“No, Seungkwan! I have waited too long for your return! I will not wait a moment longer!”
His heart was sinking, a stone in water. He did not want to leave like this. He did not want to leave at all but not like this.
And Hansol had not spoken a word…
Seungkwan, finally finding strength in the thought of Hansol's quiet pain, managed to harshly wrench his arm free of his mother's grip. “You will wait!” he said, rushing back up the steps.
Aphrodite called after him, her tone sounding frightened, like he was going to disappear again. But he ignored her calls, and she did not follow.
“Hansol-” His hands found his lover's jaw, their eyes meeting, but Seungkwan could not read Hansol like this. The freedom of his expressions were gone, replaced with the statue he'd first met here. Was he afraid? Was he angry? “Hansol,” Seungkwan tried again, his thumbs soothing small circles into either side of his face. “I am sorry. I am so sorry. Just-... Let me put her heart at ease. She loves me and worries after me. She does not understand you or this place. Allow me the time to make her understand. I'm so sorry to leave like this, but if Zeus and Poseidon were to come-” Seungkwan swallowed. He could not think of it. “Ninety days. I will return to you in ninety days. I swear it. Sooner, if I can convince her, but ninety days if I cannot. I promise this to you, my love.”
Hansol's eyes were finally showing some form of emotion, something shining within them, but Seungkwan still could not decipher it. His gaze was raking across Seungkwan's face, as if to read him back or perhaps- perhaps to memorize him. Then, suddenly, Hansol seemed to find his voice. “You should not say such things,” he said quietly but in a tone he had not used since they met. “You will not return.”
Seungkwan-... Seungkwan was frozen, shocked, and did not react in time when Hansol stepped away from his touch. “What?”
The shadows seemed to swarm around Hansol, the darkness around him becoming ink once more, almost to the point that Seungkwan could not see his eyes. And when he spoke, there was a waver- “You will see the Sun and feel the wind and forget all about this place.”
Pain. There was pain in Hansol's voice. Of course, he would think Seungkwan was leaving him. Of course, he would believe such an awful thing. Seungkwan, in his haste to fix what he had not broken, had not spared a thought to how Hansol would feel. “No- That's-”
But Hansol turned and walked into the shadows, vanishing entirely before the stone swallowed the entrance. There was no door, a wall suddenly placed between them.
And Seungkwan- “Hansol!!” Before he could think through his actions again, his hands found the wall, pounding against, nails trying to bite into any crack he could find. “Hansol! HANSOL!!”
Aphrodite, having finally braved the steps, grabbed Seungkwan's arm and pulled him away.
Seungkwan should have known that Aphrodite hadn't made the great trek down to the Underworld like he had. She needed to only find a sliver of light in the river Styx, and they were both whisked away back to the surface in an instant.
That might have been the preferable option for both of them, because Seungkwan had been struggling against her the entire time.
Now, grass beneath his hands, birds in his ears, the Sun shining bright into his eyes- Everything was too much, too much-
“Seungkwan-”
“I've hurt him,” he managed to say through choked tears. “Mother, I've hurt him so badly. Please, I must go back. You don't understand.”
“Seungkwan!”
He opened his eyes, color and light assaulting his senses immediately. Seungkwan squinted through the cacophony, forcing himself to meet her gaze.
Aphrodite was crouched over him, hands gripping his arms, but she looked far more worried now than angry. “Seungkwan, please. What has become of you? Have you lost your mind in that horrible place?”
Seungkwan gasped a breath, fresh air filling his lungs for the first time in ages. But the taste was too sweet, too wild. Nothing about this was familiar anymore. It wasn't comfortable anymore. It wasn't home.
If he hadn't left the way he had, perhaps he could endure this, but-
He tried- He tried to steady himself, to gather his thoughts, before he truly lost himself in this turmoil. His hands shook in the dirt, his breaths trembling, but he had to get through to her.
Seungkwan shook his head, willing his tears to dry. “It was not horrible. Mother, everything we've heard has been lies. The Underworld is beautiful and vast. I was met with nothing but wonders and kindness there.”
“You've been in a dark cave-”
“It was not like that,” he continued over her. “Once I could see, an entirely new world opened up to me. Hansol helped me to traverse anywhere I wished to go.”
“Hansol,” she spat. “Seungkwan, don't you hear yourself? You've been in the company of that- that-”
Seungkwan furiously shook his head, refusing to hear whatever she had to say. “He is good!” he shouted, belatedly lowering his volume. “He is sweet and kind. He was nothing but good to me. He did everything in his power to make me comfortable there. He-” Seungkwan straightened himself, taking Aphrodite's hand. “Mother, he gave me a wonderful gift. He built a grotto for me, with beautiful crystals that hang from the ceiling as if they mirrored the night sky. The water was so clear and cool, and there were these things in it that would make every ripple glow a bright blue. And he- He grew this tree. This great tree, taller and grander than any that I've seen on the surface. Flowers would bloom over its bark and fireflies would nest in its leaves. It was so beautiful. He gifted me this hoping it would remind me of the surface. He used all of his power that day just to give it to me. He allowed himself to be vulnerable and mortal for a time just for me, just because he thought I may like it.”
“Seungkwan,” she sighed, cutting off his rambling with a disappointed shake of her head. “You should have killed him at the base of that tree.”
He snatched his hands back from her as if burned, pain lancing through his chest at the mere image this idea presented. How could she ever-? How could anyone-? “That's horrible,” he finally gasped out, tears threatening to spring from his eyes anew. “What a horrible thing to say.”
“You do not understand.” Aphrodite, frustrated and saddened, stood to her full height. “You do not understand this game you are playing, my son. You have gone against Zeus and Olympus for this man. Does he matter that much to you?”
Yes, he had failed his mission, but how was he ever to achieve it in the first place? “Yes,” he answered through his tears. “I love him.”
Aphrodite snarled. “He is the son of Hades, prince of the Underworld. You do not love him. You were blinded in the darkness… I never should have let them send you.”
“Mother-”
She knelt beside him again, taking his face in her seemingly delicate hands. “The surface will remind you of who you once were. The longer you are here, the more you will realize how you have been tricked.”
“I have not been tricked,” he managed to gasp out, unable to slacken his tears. “In ninety days, whether you believe me or not, I will return to him. I swore it.”
Aphrodite frowned deeply, anger spreading across her features again, but she only shook her head. “You will choose what is right,” she decided. “Until then, you will not utter his name. You will not think of him at all. This curse he's laid upon you- You will see the world for what it is, and break this vile thing. Do you understand? And this-” She then reached for his ear, tugging away the golden piece. “Whatever strange tokens he has given you, they will be dealt with.”
Seungkwan's heart plummeted again, panic surging his veins. It was all he had of Hansol now, and Seungkwan found himself lunging for the jewelry before he could correct himself.
Aphrodite kept it from his reach and threw it as hard as she could, the light glinting off of it from horizons far away until Seungkwan could no longer see it.
He found himself screaming- “NO!!”
“Seungkwan!” She took him by the face again, her grip harder now. “You will forget him! Do you understand? You will be my son once more. Starting now, we will not speak of any of this. You will never speak his name.” She shook him once. “Understand!?”
What was there that he could do? Seungkwan gritted his teeth, the salt from his tears coating his lips and tongue, trembling in his mother's desperate grip. What else could he do? “Yes.”
Persephone, ever gentle, ran her fingers through Hansol's hair. "My son," she whispered to him, careful to not overly disturb the silence. "It's been weeks."
Seungkwan had left 22 days ago.
After Hansol had sealed the entrance, he backed away into a corner of the tunnel near Seungkwan's chambers and had not moved from the spot since. It wasn't that he intended to stay there, nor did he intend to wait for Seungkwan's return that would never come to pass. He simply did not want to move from this place. He did not want to stay. He did not want to do anything.
So he laid himself down in the dark and let everything go quiet.
The small pool of lava in Seungkwan's chambers had ceased its glow days ago. Hansol was sure by now it had cooled completely. And the grotto, the tree- He could feel it withering. Every leaf that fell from its branches felt like shedding another shard of his soul, like slowly releasing a burden he hadn't known existed.
Everything had gone so still in the darkness. There was no need for light here anymore. No need for movement and noise and-
Hansol just wanted everything to stop.
"Darling," Persephone spoke again, "you always conjure the worst scenarios in your mind. If he promised that he would return, I'm certain that he would keep it."
If Seungkwan remembered that he made a promise at all. Why would he allow his mind to linger on such things when he was surrounded by light and life where he belonged?
"Persephone," Hades sighed, unseen in the darkness, but his voice was strong and tired. "You should not give false hope."
Her hand stilled. "I am not. You saw yourself how Aphrodite's son looked upon him."
"Seungkwan may want to return," Hades continued, "but would they allow it after what he's done? Or what he did not do?"
Her hand resumed its movements. "If Seungkwan wants to return, then he will. He has not allowed Olympus to stop his heart's desire before."
"It is not his desires I worry about," Hades replied.
His father had always been extremely observant, extremely cunning, and Hansol knew he should pay attention to his words now but could not bring himself to care. Hansol was still... bitter, though Hades had truly done nothing wrong.
It had come as a surprise to the Underworld that Olympus wished to make a match between their kinds and reconnect old bridges again. A betrothal of sorts. Hansol and the son of Aphrodite. While his parents had their suspicions, it was mostly shock that had taken them.
"I'd known Aphrodite for a long time," Persephone told them both then. "She loves fiercely and without abandon. For her to trust us with her son is itself an honor. Perhaps... she is finally willing to believe me."
"Your old friend has not spoken to you since our marriage," Hades had said in his even tone, unclear if he was arguing or agreeing. "Somehow, I do not believe that was the conclusion Zeus had in mind when he decided to set this up."
And that had to be true. Tales of Aphrodite's son had long since reached the Underworld, about how his unending beauty surpassed even his mother's, that his grace was wholly unique, that one could not look upon him without wanting to smile. His very presence was said to make anything better, to make one feel alive and joyful for it.
At the time, Hansol could not imagine Seungkwan at all. Mostly, he could not imagine Seungkwan in the Underworld.
"Regardless," Hades had said, waving an absent hand towards Hansol, "you should prepare for his arrival."
And Hansol hadn't known what to do. He barely remembered the surface world from his brief trip as a child, and he was far too embarrassed to ask his mother for suggestions, but he wanted to make Seungkwan's new home... familiar. Or comfortable, at the very least.
He recalled stories of his mother needing time to acclimate to the temperature and pressure, so Hansol chose to turn the Underworld's great foyer into a living space. It was his hope that by introducing Seungkwan to the Underworld slowly, he would not be overwhelmed. So, he opened the space up, prepared chambers and tried his best to make an incredible view. Hansol's own chambers, far deeper below, looked out upon the Underworld's vast horizons. He could not do that here, but staring at bare stone would surely make Seungkwan go mad.
So, Hansol built a deep chasm until water sprung from its base. He smoothed small stones into pebbles to make them comfortable to walk and sit upon. He dug crystals from the Earth and set them into the chasm's ceiling, rearranging them again and again until he could make something almost resembling the sky he could barely remember. But even once he thought it may be close, Hansol would take it apart and reassemble the look of it again and again. There was still so much to do, though. He wanted to bring plants in, give the space a little more life, perhaps hunt down moles or worms or centipedes, too. There were not many animals below the surface, but Seungkwan would surely enjoy some familiar companionship.
But this was when it all came to a halt. "You will send him away at the entrance," Hades had instructed. "You will look upon him, tell him that he is lacking, and order him to leave."
Hell had learned the truth of Olympus' plot. Zeus was not sending Aphrodite's son to be Hansol's betrothed. He was sending Ares' son to be Hansol's assassin. The very same Seungkwan that Hansol had heard these whispers of. The same man whose beauty could set a seed of happiness in people's hearts... was coming here to kill him.
It made more sense than the betrothal. Hansol never asked why anyone thought he would be worthy of being in such company, too concerned with ensuring his own company would be bearable. He had been foolish.
“I'm sorry,” Hades had said, resting a gentle palm on Hansol's shoulder. “I know you were looking forward to this.”
“I was not,” Hansol lied. “It was an ill match, and preparations were too much trouble.”
Hades lowered his hand and allowed Hansol the lie. Both of his parents knew the truth. That was why Persephone hadn't been there to tell him the news. Too heartbreaking, she had said later.
Hansol had ceased preparations then and tried to forget about Seungkwan's arrival. It would be a quick and easy thing to send him away. There was no point in dwelling on it.
But then, Seungkwan had arrived, and Hansol had forgotten everything else the moment his eyes rested upon him. Seungkwan was radiant, a piece of the Sun somehow buried beneath the Earth, his very soul the brightest and most beautiful Hansol had ever seen. And he looked small. And frightened. And Hansol remembered their parts.
He had been instructed to stay away, to keep his distance, but the pull was too strong. He had to get closer, even if for just a second. If he were to never see Seungkwan again, he wanted to see him now.
But he was almost immediately certain that his eyes would never get their fill. So he struck quickly.
And… Seungkwan struck back.
Respect, he had said. It's the least of what I deserve!
Hansol told himself that it would only cause a stir if he sent Seungkwan away now. That Seungkwan clearly did not wish to be here, that he would escape on his own in a matter of days, that this could all be resolved without making the Underworld look bad to Olympus.
That was what he told his father later that evening, and Hades had shaken his head at him in disappointment. “I knew Olympus would be offended. That was the point.”
Hansol stared at the floor between them, well aware of the truth, as they both were.
And Hades only sighed. “Do not be snared by his beauty, my son.”
“I'm not,” Hansol replied, sounding like a petulant child no matter how he tried to keep the whine from this voice.
Hades didn't react. “Do not forget the deed he is here to accomplish. Do not believe his innocence or feigned wonder. His only mission is to take your life.”
Hansol had gone still with the reminder, though it was difficult for him to believe. Seungkwan seemed so fragile, so taken by the world. It was impossible to imagine someone such as him taking a life, even if it were just Hansol's.
These opposing views warred against each other over the following weeks while he tried to make sense of this new enigma in his home. Seungkwan was so beautiful, so glorious, and Hansol tried his best to keep his distance.
Even if Seungkwan were the type to attempt such a horrid deed, Hansol knew that he was safe in the Underworld. Hades or something else would intervene if Hansol's life was ever in danger, though it could be at the cost of Seungkwan's life. Unless, of course, Olympus had thought of this.
But, perhaps foolishly, Hansol wasn't worried. He could not focus on such things when thoughts of Seungkwan took most of his mind. So, he should have known sooner how his shadow across the Underworld would react to Seungkwan's presence. But for the other to be so frightened of the dark, to be trembling in Hansol's arms-...
Maybe there was some curse he had fallen under, some spell that Seungkwan had inherited from his mother, something. Because all Hansol wanted was to protect Seungkwan, to make him happy, to have him be comfortable and safe and surrounded with love. But Hansol did not think he could accomplish such a thing in the Underworld, and it had become obvious that Seungkwan was not leaving until his mission was fulfilled.
So maybe… if there was such a thing as death for his kind, it would not be so bad to be killed by one so precious. If he must die, if they all must someday, then he could look upon Seungkwan in his final moments. Heartbreaking, bitter, the taste of betrayal, but it would be a sweet surrender all the same.
It was this thought in the back of his mind that made him believe it was okay to spend so much of his strength to grow the tree. The kiss was… unexpected, and his reaction to it even more so. What should have been expected was the knife he found, but it… was not.
Seungkwan's delicate hand in his, the sweet half-truths on his lips, but Hansol could feel the dagger pulsing with power. This could end his life before Hades or anyone else could stop it. And now, suddenly, it had all turned real. Seungkwan could plunge this deep into his heart, and Hansol could look upon him one last time, but the thought was no longer romantic. It was only devastating.
But what else could he do? If Seungkwan made that decision-...
Hansol tried to hand the dagger back.
But Seungkwan threw it away.
And everything changed.
“That was foolish,” Hades had scolded Hansol later, Persephone, quiet but just as seething, off to the side. “You made yourself vulnerable. You found his weapon. Yet, he remains in the Underworld-”
Hansol, for the first time in his life, talked back to his father. “He is under my protection,” he said. “Seungkwan is not to be harmed.”
“Not to be harmed. Do you hear yourself? Or have you simply forgotten your place here?”
“He is under my protection,” Hansol said again, unafraid. “He will not be harmed.”
Hades tsked, shaking his head. “I have left this matter in your hands for long enough.”
Persephone stepped forward, her hand resting on Hades' arm. “And we will continue to do so,” she said, looking up at her husband with something unsaid in her eyes before she turned her gaze on Hansol. “We will continue to stay away, as you've asked. If this is the decision you've made, foolish or otherwise, we'll abide. He was promised to you, after all.”
Hansol did not understand why she took his side that day, but he did not need to. He only thanked them and left, spending his time at Seungkwan's side as often as could be deemed appropriate.
But once Seungkwan accepted the darkness into himself, Hansol had become ravenous for his attention. He wanted to be by Seungkwan's side at every moment, even if it were just to look at him, but they often… did more than look at each other. And by the time Seungkwan asked after the Underworld's fruits, thoughts of assassination had long since left Hansol's mind.
Their moment beside the lava, sharing a compromise and a secret, felt like so long ago now. To hear that Seungkwan felt as if he was unworthy-... The pain of that thought still bothered Hansol to this day, as if Seungkwan could be unworthy of anything.
He wanted to go back to the times they sat beside the lava, wanted to go back to watching Seungkwan remake things into something new and just as unique as himself, wanted to go back to clinging to each other and whispering sweet nothings and laughing into each other's skin.
Hansol was foolish for believing that Seungkwan truly wanted to stay. He was foolish for allowing Seungkwan's absence to hurt this deeply.
“My son,” Persephone whispered to him on the 46th day, running her fingers through his hair.
Hades said nothing, was probably not even here. Hansol wasn't sure anymore.
But he did turn his face into the stone, as if hiding from his mother's touch, and spoke for the first time in a long time. “I wish I could apologize to him,” he whispered to the Earth, voice rough and scratched from disuse. “The way we left things- I hurt him. It was selfish of me.”
“Hansol.” Persephone's voice was steady but distraught in the dark. “You were hurt, too.”
“I should not have said it,” Hansol quietly argued. “If he still thinks of me at all… I wish I could apologize.”
“Oh, darling,” Persephone muttered beneath her breath.
Hansol closed his eyes and tried to cease thinking once more.
To his credit, Seungkwan had tried to follow Aphrodite's orders and cease thinking of Hansol. It was not for her as much as himself, though. Every image of Hansol in his mind, from the shy smiles he used to hide to their last moment together, all sent a lance of pain through Seungkwan's heart.
He spent the first 10 days on the surface crying until Aphrodite had enough and forced him out into nature.
On the 34th day, once she had convinced herself that Seungkwan was truly moving on and had finally given him freedom away from her side, he began searching for the beloved golden trinket she had so carelessly thrown away.
Being back on the surface did have its charms, though. The breeze of fresh air could often help calm his racing heart, but it sometimes surprised him into a panic, already unused to sudden movement even as simple as this. The warmth of the Sun felt nice on his skin, but it did not feel as loving as the lava's embrace. The tree bark and grass beneath his hands reminded him of the pulse of life, but it did not feel as thoughtful as the etchings in stone down below.
He supposed the surface smelled nicer than the humid stale air of the Underworld, but he would only need to mention this to Hansol once and flowers would surely swallow every inch of his chambers...
Seungkwan placed a hand to his chest. He missed Hansol so much. What was the point of all these overstimulating wonders the surface had to offer if he could not share them? Oh, how Seungkwan wished he could pluck a star from the night sky and bring it down below with him. Maybe that would make a sufficient gift for Hansol… or maybe not. Stars emitted light. He would probably dislike it…
Oftentimes, whenever his thoughts inevitably turned to Hansol, he would stop his search and sit for a while, allowing his grief to consume him once more. He dared not voice his thoughts to the Sun or the moon or anything else. He simply let them exist before picking himself up again and continuing on.
His search had managed to give him some friends, at least. There had been some people who called Seungkwan their friend before, usually people who wanted him for things that went beyond mere conversation. Seungkwan had not seen any of them since he'd come back nor did he want to.
No, his friends now were the small finch birds who sang tunes to help him carry on and the tiny field mice who could reach into burrows that Seungkwan's hands could not. They were curious about the Underworld, and Seungkwan would tell them stories of the things he saw, though he was sure none of them believed him when it came to Cerberus' true size. The mice thought that they could probably dig deep enough to reach it, though, and promised to visit Seungkwan when he was to return.
Seungkwan never mentioned to them how badly he missed Hansol nor any of the other worries weighing on his heart. They seemed to know, birds perching on his shoulders and mice curling around his ankles whenever grief begged him to stop, but they did not ask.
After 72 days of being on the surface, Seungkwan finally found his treasured gold lump. It had been in the one place that the finches and mice could not help him look, where few mortals could find it without searching very hard. It was at the bottom of a deep stream, carried away on the current almost an entire league from where Seungkwan had been looking originally.
When the gold piece was once again in his hands, Seungkwan fell to his knees in the stream, his tears seamlessly mixing with the water flowing around him. Overwhelming relief mixed with the same exhausted grief that had been plaguing him since his arrival on the surface world threatened to drown him completely.
But his mission was done. All he had to do now was hide his treasure in the folds of his gown and wait just a little longer.
On the 89th night, when he should have been consumed with excitement and joy, Seungkwan finally broke his silence to his new friends through his tears. “What if he hates me?” he whispered to the mice in the tall grass. “What if he tells me to leave again? What if he won't even look upon me?” On and on, Seungkwan speculated about what the next day would bring, not daring to believe that Hansol could possibly be happy to see him, not after how he'd so harshly left.
But the sun rose on the 90th day, and Seungkwan's spirits lifted. Whatever was to happen, it was happening on that day. No matter what, he was going to finally see Hansol again. That much, he could be happy about.
“Mother!” Seungkwan ran through a grassy field to where his mother stood at the treeline, a rare but large smile on his face for what the day was going to bring. “Mother, it's today!”
“What's today?” she asked with a small smile once he approached.
As per her own instructions, they had not spoken of Hansol or the Underworld. So, Seungkwan did not think much of it when he had to elaborate. “I am to go back beneath the surface today,” he said with a happiness he could not suppress.
Aphrodite's smile fell.
Seungkwan clutched her hand, not letting her expression ruin this moment. “Mother, I'm sorry you don't see things my way, and I'm sorry that I'm leaving your side again. I missed you so much while I was there, but I will try to stay in contact. If I can, I will visit. That was why Hansol did not want me to eat the fruit in the first place-”
She yanked her hand back. “You still intend to return?”
Not this again. Seungkwan frowned, but he knew all along this would likely be an argument. “Yes. I want to go back to the Underworld. I want to go back to him.”
Aphrodite's lips thinned, her brow furrowing. “And your mission? You still do not intend to follow Zeus' order?”
“Of course not,” Seungkwan answered, confused on why she would think such a thing after all of this. “I was not tricked by them, mother. Hansol did nothing to my mind. I have spent ninety days on the surface to prove this to you. I could never seek to harm him.”
The shadows moved behind her, a figure stepping out from around a tree. Tall, imposing, strong, scowling with calculating eyes and thinly concealed fury.
Seungkwan took a step back.
“I have given an order,” Zeus said calmly, his voice deceptively even and calm. “Are you refusing to kill my brother's son?”
Seungkwan quickly darted his eyes to Aphrodite, but her face was stone, the same fear in her expression now as when she first looked upon Hansol. So, finding no help within her, Seungkwan felt that he only had his truth to wield. “Hansol has done nothing wrong,” Seungkwan answered with a strength he did not know he had. “If the Underworld and Hades are truly plotting something, Hansol is not involved. But I am certain that they are doing no such thing. The Underworld keeps to their own affairs-”
“I do not care what you have seen,” Zeus interrupted. “I do not care what the Underworld has done. I do not care what this boy deserves. Are you refusing to carry out my order?”
And suddenly, like an ironic bolt of lightning, Seungkwan realized that the moment Aphrodite came to collect him, it was already too late. He was never going to return to the Underworld. He would never see Hansol again. No matter what answer he gave now, whether it be the uncensored truth or an obvious lie, there was no possibility of him going back.
Zeus was still staring at him.
Seungkwan clutched at his gown. “I will not harm him. I cannot. He is good and kind and- and… I love him… And so long as he stays beneath the surface, you cannot harm him either.” That was likely going too far, pushing too hard, but Seungkwan could not quell his anger when Hansol's life was threatened again.
Aphrodite reached for him, her hand wrapping around his forearm in warning, but he did not look back.
Zeus took a deep breath. “Your eyes have changed color,” he began slowly. “The Underworld's darkness has seeped deep within you.” His hand began to cackle, an electric current raking up his arm as Zeus began to approach. “Allow me to introduce light back into your veins until you scream for his death… or your own.”
“Zeus!” Aphrodite put herself between them, pushing Seungkwan back.
But Seungkwan did not trust his mother any more than Zeus now. He turned and ran, the only option left, bolting beyond the trees. Then a great crack sounded through the air, the ground crumbling beneath his feet, and Seungkwan fell to the dirt. His gold piece tumbled from his robes when he landed, one of the larger mice taking it and running ahead with two others from its pack.
“Pests,” Zeus spat from somewhere above Seungkwan, his lightning arcing through the air and striking at multiple small points throughout the field.
Seungkwan cried out, screaming as if the pain was his own- “No!!” -but he was kicked hard in the side, turned onto his back to look up at Zeus.
“Zeus, don't do this!” Aphrodite called out, running towards them.
But Zeus did not seem to hear, looming over Seungkwan, who had become frozen in fear and grief. Then-
“You will come with me, boy.”
Hansol, despite himself, did not intend to count the days. It should have been too difficult to do so, anyway, but it was not so hard if one had been counting the minutes and hours… He did not mean to.
And he did not get excited when the 90th day arrived. Only fear clenched at his heart, his breath stuttering in his chest, and he was too exhausted to examine exactly why he felt this way. Seungkwan was not coming back. Or so he had constantly told himself in a desperate attempt to avoid the crushing heartbreak that such an outcome would bring.
Seungkwan would not come back. Seungkwan would forget him. Seungkwan would smile into the light and breathe the fresh air and see familiar faces and laugh beneath the clouds and never return. He would be so much happier on the surface world where he belonged.
But a small part, a selfish part, wished for Seungkwan's presence again. Hansol wanted to rest his head in his lap while Seungkwan played with his ears and rambled about anything that crossed his mind. He wanted to press kisses into Seungkwan's soft palms and hear him giggle like he had before. He wanted to hold him close and think about all the sweet things he knew he should not say.
And today would decide what would come to pass. Would Seungkwan choose his own happiness or would he try to keep his hastily made promise?
The hours trudged slowly by, each becoming more bleak than the last. When had Hansol become so hopeful? He did not mean to. He did not… He closed his eyes and let the darkness consume every crevice around him, allowing himself to cease this existence for a time, his thoughts halting and breath easing. The dark did not feel pain or longing or any of that foolishness. It just was and so too was Hansol…
Until he heard a scratching in the walls.
His eyes opened, coming back to himself as he heard the insistent clamoring. It felt so loud in this silent place that Hansol could even hear when the ground broke, the scratching of claws digging through Earth becoming a gentle tap on stone tile, curious squeaks following behind-
Hansol grabbed the first mouse to enter this hallowed place, a small yet crazed part of his mind considering crushing it for daring to step foot here. What was he to do with-?
While the mouse screeched and wiggled in his palm for freedom, two more approached, one with a familiar shadow around its neck. Hansol blinked before blue flame erupted in his free hand, scaring the mice into fleeing. But he dropped one and grabbed another before it could get away, finding Seungkwan's golden earpiece adorning it.
Had Seungkwan thrown it away? Or had he-? “Where did you get this?” he hissed.
The mouse ceased its panicked movements, looking up at him with wide eyes and a pulsing chest. It trembled in his hand as if he were death itself. He might as well be, Hansol supposed.
But then the mouse began to explain, clearly unsure if Hansol could even understand. It told him of Aphrodite's anger, of the long search ending in a running stream, of Seungkwan's grief and anxiety, of Zeus-
… Zeus…
Hansol clenched his fist, the fire snuffing out.
Mount Olympus. Seungkwan had been there only a few times before, most often when he was still a young boy at his mother's knee. That was when he first caught sight of Ares, who glanced at him once with something sad in his eye before looking away and never seeing him again. It was also the first place he had seen Hephaestus, who did not once look at him at all.
He had seen them again when Zeus dragged him into the Great Hall near the Pantheon's thrones. Soon after Poseidon bounded him in nets, however, they left along with many of the others. Perhaps they did not wish to see what was to happen or they did not wish to be involved. Either way, it did not matter. No one was going to help him.
Though, his mother at least tried. “He has a tender heart!” she begged, trying to stay between the two of them. “Is it a crime to fall in love!? Or better yet, is it a crime to be fooled by the Underworld's treachery!?”
“He has disobeyed Olympus, Aphrodite, and intends to continue doing so.” Zeus' voice was firm and steady. A powerful being who had already made his decision. “He will face our justice and let go of these fantasies in the process.”
Seungkwan continued to fight his bindings, knowing that it was no use. He could not even sit up, the net keeping him pinned to the floor, the webbing intricate and woven tighter than metal. His gifts with magma and lava were useless here. There was nothing he could do, and panic was clutching tight around his throat, tears streaking his face.
He had not yet tasted of the lightning, but he was certain he would not survive if these threats were true. Zeus was more powerful than any of the Gods, and Seungkwan was weak compared to the other lesser Gods at his stage. Perhaps, then, he would not be made to suffer for long. And if his life was taken quickly, then his mother would not have to watch for long either.
And, hopefully, Hansol would never hear of what happened on this day. He would grow angry at Seungkwan for breaking his promise, and that would pain him greatly, but he did not need to ever hear of this.
These truths did not stop Seungkwan from continuing to struggle, from continuing to panic. He wanted to live. He wanted to go home. He wanted the comfort of the Underworld's dark corners and the circle of Hansol's arms.
Lightning crackled across the room, and Seungkwan whimpered, clawing at his binds uselessly.
“Stay out of this,” Zeus spoke again, “or I'll see to it that you suffer the same fate.”
Footsteps grew closer, a shadow passing over him. Seungkwan could not look, focused on trying and failing to free himself, his fingers and palms bloody from his pathetic attempts.
And Aphrodite- “I would rather that than to stand aside while you-!!”
The room darkened, his mother's voice no longer echoing against the marble walls. The sunlight streaming between the great white pillars turned gray and dark. The fire in the sconces lessened and smothered. The air turned cold, silence ringing in Seungkwan's ears.
The heavy gilded doors groaned as they swung open, an inky mass sluggishly entering the room as three black dots darted from its confines in wisps of smoke. They ran to Seungkwan, grabbing at the binds with tiny paws and cutting them with small teeth, and he recognized the friends he thought had perished on the surface. He gasped, crying for their safe return, but what had-
The mass had begun to change shape, slowly growing taller, something like limbs stretching out as it dragged itself further inside. But as its shape began to settle, familiarities started to form. Shoulders and a head stretched back, arms pulling apart from the source and helping it to rise.
“Hades,” Zeus hissed.
As it finally stood to its full height with the shadows curling around it, a face slowly emerged, the eyes hidden in darkness if not for two pinpricks of starlight-
“HANSOL!!” Seungkwan cried, the binds finally loose enough for him to free himself from what remained of the nets. He found his feet and ran to him, embracing Hansol in a tight hug, the darkness weaving around him in a similar grasp. But Hansol's arms remained at his sides.
At the moment, Seungkwan did not care. “I'm sorry.” He choked on the words tumbling from his mouth, tears soaking into Hansol's shoulder. “I'm sorry. I tried to return. I wanted to. It was all I wanted all these months. I'm so sorry, Hansol. I've missed you so much. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I never should have left. I'm sorry-”
Then, finally, Hansol's arms rose. A hand gently but slowly found the small of Seungkwan's back while the other went to his jaw, lifting his face to see him. Like this, Hansol did not look like himself. He was encased in the darkness, his being a complete part of it, but Seungkwan was not afraid of him. Could never be afraid of him.
“My gem,” Hansol spoke, his voice slow and scratched, “you need never apologize… for anything… I am sorry…”
Seungkwan shook his head. “Hansol-”
“Did you bask in the Sun?” he continued. "Did you enjoy the wind?”
A sob wanted to crawl out of Seungkwan's throat, his heart shattering from the words. But he nodded, because that was the truth.
And Hansol's fingers brushed over his cheek, wiping away his tears. “Good,” he said. “That is all that matters.”
Seungkwan vehemently shook his head again. “It was not. It wasn't good, at all. Because all I wanted my entire time on the surface was you by my side.” The hand paused its motions, and Seungkwan took it to press against his face. “Hansol,” he pleaded. “My love, I want to go home.”
The room seemed to still, the starlight of Hansol's eyes shining brighter and softer. Slowly, he leaned forward and brushed a kiss to Seungkwan's forehead, who gasped and shivered and curled himself into his lover's chest.
A flash of light from across the room, thunder cracking like a drum against the walls- “No one is leaving,” Zeus spoke.
Hansol held Seungkwan tighter, his grip more sure, but his gaze was turned away with all of his attention on Zeus. Seungkwan, though frightened, turned his head to face him but was not willing to separate himself from the safety of Hansol's arms.
Zeus' anger seemed tempered, his chin rising as if merely facing a challenge. “Your father had a soft spot for pretty things, too,” he began, “but Seungkwan is not Persephone. He belongs on the surface world alongside his kin. Beneath the soil, he will simply wither and perish. If you have any heart at all for him, you will know what is best.”
But Hansol did not loosen his grip. “Seungkwan can decide for himself,” he merely answered, not giving away the truth of Seungkwan's parentage or how he'd already begun to make a home in the Underworld. No one needed to know.
And when no further information was given, Zeus grew a scowl. “Then, perhaps you will not want him in your home once you learn of his true intentions.” Seungkwan furrowed his brow, confused, but Zeus continued. “Do you know why Olympus offered him to you in the first place?”
No. No, not this. Seungkwan pushed away from Hansol's grasp and the dark wisps about his ankles. “Wait, no, you mustn't-!”
“He was sent to murder you!” Zeus bellowed out. “He was sent under my orders to bring us your head! Whatever he has told you, whatever tricks he has done, was to only get closer to you and see his mission through.”
“That's not true!” Seungkwan shrieked, turning back to Hansol. “It was not like that! Hansol, I swear!”
Zeus crept closer, and Seungkwan wanted to crawl out of his own skin. “The only reason he was brought here was because his mission was taking too long. But now that you have been drawn out-”
Seungkwan placed himself between them. “No!”
But Hansol's hand found his waist, pulling him back, his attention again only on Zeus. “Did you think that Hell didn't know of your plots?” he asked, and the entire room went still. Even Zeus, terrifying and formidable, froze in his tracks. “Hades- My father knew about your plans before Seungkwan even arrived,” he said, but then turned to Seungkwan, whose heart had all but stopped. “I was told to send him away at the gates, but I… could not. And after some time in his company, I thought it would not be so bad if his hand was the one to strike me down… but he did not…”
Moved but stricken by the words, Seungkwan turned to embrace Hansol once more, tears clinging to his lashes. The thought that Hansol had known and let him into his home, gave him so many comforts and gifts, opened his heart to him- “Hansol…”
Zeus scoffed behind him. “Fine. Then, I'll give you eternity together.”
Aphrodite screamed out, but the room had lit into a glorious light, and it was already too late. Except that Hansol moved, his shadows as fast as the lightning, but only fast enough to place himself between Seungkwan and danger.
And in that split second, Seungkwan felt magma in his veins.
Fire erupted around them, bright red flames turning blue then black, a great ball shielding them from the world. Seungkwan almost thought he had caused it somehow, but he was far more focused on Hansol, gripping hard at his bicep and scanning over him. By the time the fires died down, he could see that Hansol was unharmed.
Hansol's hand met his cheek as if to reassure him, and Seungkwan could only tremble in his grasp. He thought, for just a moment, that Hansol's life had ended.
His starlight eyes only looked upon him for a second before turning away, his gaze falling on a tall man with dark features and simple garments that Seungkwan had not seen before. The man only looked at Zeus when he spoke. “Hansol,” he began, voice firm and breaching no argument, “take Seungkwan and his mother away from this place, please. I must speak with my brother.”
Before Seungkwan could process who he was seeing, darkness took over his vision and a sensation of falling filled his stomach. But then he was standing on solid ground and the darkness fled away to reveal a dimly lit cavern. Behind Hansol were the steps to the Underworld, and Seungkwan knew they now stood in the same place they met once again.
He could hear Aphrodite's gasp and stumble, but Seungkwan could not turn to look. Hot tears welled in his eyes, and he was sobbing before he could stop it. He clung to Hansol, both of them falling to their knees on the hard stone, but he could only think to smother his grief and elation and fear into Hansol's chest. Absently, he could feel a hand brush through his hair, breath along his cheek, but it was all distant compared to everything that had just happened.
When he came back to himself, it was not Hansol or Aphrodite that Seungkwan first became aware of. The mice were pawing at his ankles, as if their small comfort could help sooth his deep pain. But it did, and Seungkwan began to struggle to catch his breath.
Once the trembling in his limbs lessened, he realized how quiet it was in this dark cave. Hansol and his mother had not spoken at all. Seungkwan was not even sure if she had approached any closer.
But Hansol distracted him from the thought, taking his hand away to sift through his robes, only to procure… his golden trinket. It sat simply in his hand, no fanfare, no words. He only held it out.
And Seungkwan, fighting back a fresh wave of tears, sobbed quietly and reached out to take Hansol's hand in his. “My love-” he began, trying to form words and finding them impossible to reach.
Hansol pressed a kiss to Seungkwan's hair and muttered, “I love you.”
Seungkwan clutched at his hand tighter and did not move for a long time.
Once Hades returned, he promised that Zeus and Olympus would no longer be a problem even if Seungkwan went back to the surface world. They had thanked him but did not ask what had happened. Seungkwan did not care to know.
Aphrodite ran her hand through Seungkwan's hair, her tears silently washing into his skin, but she did not speak. There was an apology radiating from her, but it seemed that words had failed. And when she looked upon Hansol, it was not with fear or disdain but with gratitude. She left to speak to Hades privately for a time, and many hours passed while Seungkwan simply tried to collect his thoughts in Hansol's arms.
Eventually, Aphrodite, Hades, and Persephone all returned. Aphrodite had been granted permission to traverse the Underworld whenever she wished so that she may visit Seungkwan at her leisure. He did not ask why it was not the same arrangement that Persephone had with the surface, but he again did not question it.
At the time, Seungkwan wanted nothing to do with the surface world.
But the three left them alone and time passed.
The mice left after a few days in search of food and news on the surface, but they returned regularly, explaining to Seungkwan that the birds were delighted to hear of his safe return home.
Aphrodite also visited at times, the conversations short and awkward until she finally apologized for her role in the plot. But Seungkwan, now calm and with plenty of time to think through the events, did not blame her and told her as much. She had only been trying to protect him, as she had always done. Their relationship slowly became normal again.
And after finally meeting Hansol's parents, Seungkwan was able to spend some fleeting time alone with them.
Persephone was lovely company, as he always imagined. She told him of her first trips to the Underworld, how she slowly acclimated to the climate, the way she quickly feasted on the native fruits behind her husband's back, and some cute tales of Hansol as a toddler.
Hades was a bit more intimidating to be around, but he was very wise and had much insight to offer. Without prompting or questions, he explained what the Underworld expected of her heirs, what his duties could be if Seungkwan chose to stay, and secrets of the mortal soul that no one on the surface was privy to.
And then there was Cerberus, who for all his size and musculature and many teeth, was a simple puppy with a soft heart and a love for fetch.
Most of Seungkwan's time, much like before, was spent alone in Hansol's company. They seemed to rarely speak these days, simply healing in each other's presence after all that had transpired. Words didn't feel like they had to be exchanged. Besides, Seungkwan could see with his own eyes what his absence had done. The lava in his chambers had turned to solid stone. The fireflies of the grotto were all dead. The great tree no longer held leaves, barren and cragged under a dark crystalline sky.
When Seungkwan saw the state of his grotto, his tears sprung anew. It was one thing to know he had put Hansol through great pain. It was another to see the evidence. But Hansol hugged him close and shielded his eyes from view, promising in soft whispers to fix what had been broken. Seungkwan did not know how to explain that his tears were not for the tree.
But Hansol kept his promises, the grotto returning to life quickly even if it was not fully the same. Even the stone was removed from the makeshift basin and replaced with new lava, as if Hansol had been trying to wipe away every trace that anything had happened at all.
So, Seungkwan made his own quiet promise to himself if he could not do so directly to his lover. He would not hurt him like this again. He would not leave things unsaid. And he would become more powerful to ensure no one could take him away again.
Seungkwan did not forget the surge of strength he felt deep within himself when Hansol was in danger. There was something there buried deep that he had ignored his whole life. They would find it together.
It had been weeks since they had been reunited and the grotto was filled with life again. Seungkwan sat upon the rocky shore, his feet dipped into the cool water as dots of blue light lazily swirled about. He had been sitting there for some time, lost in thought as he often was when alone these days.
The crunch of gravel sounded next to him, and he turned already knowing who would be there. Sure enough, Hansol stood to the side a little stiffly as if he did not want to be a bother while carrying something small in both hands.
Seungkwan quietly reached out to him, and Hansol immediately stepped closer and lowered himself to the ground, putting his small object to the side so he could take Seungkwan's hand instead. They fell into each other, arms wrapping around torsos, until they were tangled close and watching the fireflies together.
These days, Seungkwan enjoyed playing with Hansol's hands in silence. His long fingers and strong palms- There was something satisfying in running the pads of his fingers over each knuckle, reassuring himself that this was real. But today, he only stayed quiet for a moment before his eyes looked to the side. “What do you have there?”
Hansol looked at the small thing as if he had forgotten and then frowned like he hadn't meant for Seungkwan to notice it at all. But he reached out and picked it up for Seungkwan to have a closer look.
A dark fruit cut cleanly in half, white meat in the inside with bright red seeds that even the soft blue light could not wash out. A pomegranate…
Seungkwan looked up at Hansol in awe, completely surprised.
But Hansol only frowned down at the fruit, looking offended. “I had a speech,” he began, “but I do not want this to be taken the wrong way. The timing is… ill… I only wanted to make this promise of connection to you, to surprise you after you had asked so long ago, but-... Seungkwan, I do not want to keep you here out of fear. This is not a cage.”
Seungkwan's hand wrapped gently around Hansol's wrist, his lover's anxious rambling coming to a halt. “No, it is not,” Seungkwan answered. “It is my home. You were right before. I do not need to eat the fruit to stay here or be safe from those up above. I do not feel that I have to do this. It is only because I want to.”
Hansol's hand brushed his hair to the side, his thumb grazing over his temple. “Are you certain, my gem?”
“Yes,” Seungkwan answered easily, knowing Hansol needed the confirmation. And just to settle his own demons that still lurked in the back of his mind- “Are you?”
“Yes,” Hansol answered. “As I've always been.” He placed a kiss into Seungkwan's hair, his hand gentle on the back of his neck. “I always want you by my side, and the Underworld would flourish under your graceful rule. The rest is only what you decide. Your happiness comes above all else.”
“My darling,” Seungkwan sighed, a smile slowly blooming across his face. His hand found Hansol's cheek, gently cradling him while he looked upon his present and future. Then, he glanced down at the fruit briefly before his eyes found Hanol's again. “Eat this with me?”
Hansol grew a soft smile, happiness sparkling in his eyes. Without answer, he plucked a few seeds from the pulp while Seungkwan followed his lead. They held the fruit out to each other, their quiet laughs bouncing along the pond's ripples.
Hansol's thumb pressed down on Seungkwan's tongue and a sour sweet taste burst down his throat.