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...these past few past few years have been... a lot to process.
To think, a decade ago, I was living in a small apartment with a single caretaker... Natasha always did do her best to take care of me, despite her circumstances. She taught me Russian and English, homeschooled me to the best of her ability, she even taught me her ice magic - she's the reason I wasn't stuck in that orphanage my entire life. I got very lucky that she happened to work there, and that she took a liking to me... It is nice to be back in contact with her again. I missed her greatly.
And then, of course, I met Girlfriend... hahah. It's a little funny, honestly. To think I resented her for so long, and spent so much energy trying to eliminate her, rather than focusing on the two people who actually ruined my life - the ones who were willing to go so far as to slaughter Anton... I truly did let my rage blind me. I committed to a plan that was effectively a suicide pact, in the hope that I would be able to eliminate her, and reunite with Anton in the process... what a fool I was back then.
After that plan inevitably failed, including the part where we were meant to die in the fire, Anthony and I had no other choice but to flee the scene and hide away in the alleyways... and that's when we first met мое пламя¹. That encounter... was it fate? I am not usually the superstitious sort, but the odds of that encounter happening in that exact moment, and then all of our subsequent encounters... I can still hardly believe it really happened, but here I am today.
One thing lead to another, we moved in with Aaron, I fell in love and started dating them, we all confronted Dearest and Mearest and had justice served for all they have done... and now, here I am. Free from the mark they left on me... and yet, sometimes, I can still feel their shadows looming over me, their red eyes gazing right at me in the dark, ready to strike and take it all away once more... I am safe now. I know I am safe now. But knowing that does not make these fears go away.
What that teenager from ten years ago would think of where I am today? What would he say if I told him what's going to happen to him? What would he make of it all? Would he be excited? Scared? Confused? Angry? Disappointed?
...what would he think of the person he became?
...
I wonder... what would life be like if I had never met her? If I had simply stayed out of the way of all this? Where would I be now? What would I be doing? What friends would I have? Who would I be dating, if anyone at all? What kind of person would I be?
...would I be happier..?
. . .
"Hey, fy pluen eira², are you alright?"
Caught off-guard, I jumped a bit, turning to face Aaron behind me, who was accompanied by Baxter, who followed up with "Yeah, Skull, you alright? You've been starin' off into space for a while now... somethin' botherin' ya?"
I take a moment to gather my thoughts, and as I do, I look at the two individuals in front of me... the two people in this world that matter most to me - мое пламя¹, Aaron, and Хорнс³, Baxter.
Aaron is standing closer to me, looking at me with a worried expression on his face- his ears are even lowered... Their right arm is down at their side, with his left hand holding his right arm around the elbow. Their tail is down, not moving very much, though it isn't completely still.
Baxter, meanwhile, is stood a little further back, with a somewhat concerned expression. His posture is a little less hunched-over than usual, and his hands are in his pockets. His imp-like tail flicks around occasionally, seemingly a little anxious about something... presumably, me.
I keep looking at them both a moment longer, remembering all the time we've spent together- all the memories we've made, the experiences we've shared- all of the laughs, the tears, the battles, the dates... and at the same time, I also take another look at their faces, though I don't pay as much attention to their expressions this time. Instead, I simply just... gaze at their faces- the faces of these two people who mean the world and more to me- and their true faces, at that... and I smile a little, before finally giving them my response.
"Yes, I am alright, дорогие⁴. I was just deep in thought for a moment." Baxter is a little quick to respond, asking "What about?", his tone now simply curious. "A lot of things." I respond, before adding "Now, how about we do a little stargazing up on the rooftop? The weather seems right for it." Aaron eagerly replies with a "Sure!", while Baxter responds with "Sure thing, Skull."
"Alright then, let's go." I say, before walking upstairs, with Aaron and Baxter following close behind. As we begin walking up the stairs, Eirglas hops up onto the banister, walking up beside us. I pet her soft, brown fur as we ascend the staircase, with her beginning to pur as we reach the top.
...on second thought... despite everything, I don't think I'd change a thing. After all, if I did, Dearest and Mearest would likely still be at large, I would have never made such incredible friends like I have now... I may have never even met the two people I cherish most in this entire world.
I'm happy as can be right here.