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Mafuyu's eyes snapped wide open, her body springing upward, breathing heavily and gasping; eyes blurry from tears, with sweat evident on her whole body. Mafuyu just had a nightmare. She couldn't properly remember what the nightmare was all about, but she remembered the sensations. It was cold and suffocating. It felt like she was drowning and she couldn't swim back to the surface to breathe. It left her there, drowning in the dark, unable to make a noise or a gasp.
“Mafuyu, why did you call?”
Mafuyu flinched and looked down at her hand. She had unconsciously grabbed her phone and called Ena. Her breathing wasn't calm still and Ena could hear this.
“Mafuyu? Are you okay?” Came the worried inquiry.
“E-Ena…” Mafuyu's voice trembled, still stricken with fear from the nightmare.
On the other side of the line, Ena, upon hearing the frantic voice from Mafuyu, immediately sat up from her bed and focused on calming Mafuyu down. “Hey, hey. Mafuyu. Can you breathe for me? Breathe for 4, hold till 7, and exhale at 8. Can you do that for me, Mafuyu?”
Ena can hear the shaky hum from Mafuyu's line and proceeds to the breathing exercise. She made sure to keep her voice levelled and calm, so as to not agitated the still panic stricken lyricist.
“... 4, 5, 6, 7, 8… Mafuyu?” She murmured, after running through five cycles of the exercise to check up on the lyricist.
“Ena…” Responded Mafuyu, a little less panicked than before.
“Are you okay? What happened?” Ena softly asked, patiently waiting for her to reply.
There was shifting heard from the line before Mafuyu replied. “I'm okay now. I had… I had a nightmare.”
Ena frowned at the statement. Worry began to seep through Ena's body as she replied to Mafuyu. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.” Came the immediate response.
“That's fair.” Ena thought. She hummed, trying to think of what to do.
“It was cold, Ena.” Continued Mafuyu, her voice cracking for a moment.
Ena blinked at the follow up and pursed her lips. Her brows furrowed and her chest ached at the tone. She looked at her phone and an idea formed in her mind.
“Hey, could you lay down on your bed, Mafuyu?”
Mafuyu blinked at the request, but heeded it. She laid back down on the bed and used her hand to prop up the phone. A little later, Mafuyu's screen lit up and showed Ena's face; she was also laying sideways on her bed. Mafuyu opened her camera, allowing Ena to see her, who immediately noticed the bags under the former’s eyes.
“Haven’t you been sleeping well?” Ena asked, softly.
Mafuyu hummed in reply, her head shaking slightly. “I haven't. I keep having recurring nightmares.”
Mafuyu watched as a frown made its way to Ena's face. Ena looked at her with a worried gaze, then closed her eyes as she sighed before looking back at her with a determined expression.
“Would you feel at ease if I slept with you?”
Huh?
Mafuyu blinked rapidly as she slowly registered what Ena had said. “What do you mean? How?”
Mafuyu saw Ena smile sweetly, her eyes reflecting adoration despite being slightly blurry from the signal. Immediately, she felt a little at ease seeing Ena smile like that.
“You can call me every time you get nightmares. Then, we'll do just this, us laying down until one of us or the two of us falls asleep. What do you think?” Ena murmured, her eyes so soft.
Mafuyu liked that idea. It made her feel warm. And if she's being extra honest, just seeing Ena's face is enough for her. But Mafuyu knew that the artist is always tired and she rather not waste too much of her time.
“If it isn't a bother…” Mafuyu hesitantly replied.
“I wouldn't suggest it if it's a bother.”
Mafuyu could see her exasperated look, and she couldn't deny the warmth that surged from deep inside. Mafuyu sighed quietly, closing her eyes.
“Thank you, Ena.” She murmured. I love you. The words left unsaid.
“Always, Mafuyu.”
Mafuyu slept without a dream that night.
Ever since that day, Mafuyu and Ena find themselves on call on most nights; long gone are the initial premises that started the calls. It just casually turned into late night talks turned into a routine. It's not like Mafuyu gets nightmares almost everyday like before.
In fact, the nightmares lessen ever since Ena initiated the idea of calling each other. Mafuyu thought she could just call Ena regardless if she has nightmares or not—that and, she gets to hear Ena talk and she gets to sleep more peacefully than ever before. She couldn't tell that to her face though.
So here she was, sitting on her desk, pondering if she should call Ena. Sure, sometimes she just abruptly calls Ena whenever and wherever—Ena doesn't look like she minded the slightest—but still, a part of Mafuyu thought that maybe she's being too much. Which was ironic because she clearly remembers that she wasn't enough.
Pause.
She shook her head from the thought. If Ena could hear her thoughts right now, no doubt she will get mad at her for thinking that way. That too, is what makes Mafuyu feel warm around her.
Suddenly her phone rang. She grabbed it and saw that Ena was calling her. She answered it and put it on her ear.
“Ena?” Mafuyu tentatively called.
“Ah! Mafuyu. I was kinda wondering when are you going to call. Funny that we started this whole thing with your nightmares and then it turned out like this—calling almost every night.” Mafuyu hears her laugh.
“Does it… bother you?” The lyricist couldn't help but ask.
“No! I mean, it's nice… talking to you and all that…”
Mafuyu let out a silent sigh of relief at the answer. “I also don't particularly mind. Talking to you helps with the nightmares.”
“Really?” Ena bewilderingly asked.
Mafuyu hummed in confirmation. “I rarely get nightmares when I'm with you.”
There was a pregnant pause, long enough for Mafuyu to feel uncomfortable and worried at the same time. There was a swelling of unexplainable ache in her stomach as she waited for Ena to reply. Suddenly, there was a static and a loud clatter; seemingly like a phone landing on a hard floor, accompanied by a yelp.
“Ena?” Mafuyu called, raising her voice in shock.
“Ah… ah! Wait… sorry, my phone slipped from my hands. Give me a minute!” Came the flustered reply.
Mafuyu breathed a sigh of relief as she waited. It didn't take too long for Ena to speak again.
“Mafuyu. Please warn me next time. I don't think my heart could handle… all that.”
“I… I'm sorry?” Mafuyu apologized, confusedly.
Ena cleared her throat. “No. You're fine. I was just… caught off guard. I wasn't expecting you to say that.” There was a moment of pause. “Do you really mean it? You don't get nightmares when…”
Ena couldn't seem to finish the statement, so Mafuyu answered for her.
“Yes. I noticed this when we started our evening calls. It helped… a lot. I wasn't getting nightmares and I'm getting decent sleep. All thanks to you, Ena.” Mafuyu replied, sincerely.
Ena sharply inhaled and laughed. “Well, I'm glad! Does that mean this will stop?”
Mafuyu felt a sudden dread overcome her as Ena finished her statement. She shook her head vehemently, as if Ena could see. Her eyes turned watery and her hand gripped her phone a little hard as she frown.
“Do you want to? Because truth to be told, I would rather not.” Declared Mafuyu, bluntly.
“Mafuyu…”
“You can tell me if I'm boring or I'm taking too much of your time, I'll stop. But I want to stay this way. I want to talk to you all night about my day; your day, all the random things you wanted to talk about, I'll listen. So please… stay…” Mafuyu chattered, her anxiety skyrocketing, worry imminent on her tone.
On the other side, Ena was left frozen in shock in her bed. She wasn't expecting Mafuyu to express displeasure in cutting off their late night calls, as the artist was sure that she's taking too much of the lyricist's time. But with the way the latter is disagreeing with the notion of stopping, Ena thinks it's safe to assume that Mafuyu really does want to keep what they're doing. Well, it's quite evident with the way Mafuyu wanted her to stay.
Ena let out a smile and said, “You silly. I wouldn't be talking to you if I'm bored. Do you think I will stay put if things get boring?”
“No..” Mafuyu drawled.
“Honestly, I'm more worried if I'm taking your time at night, you know, being that you're an intern right now.” Ena said, fidgeting on the hem of her shirt.
“Not at all. I appreciate the company and like I said, you help me sleep better.”
Ena felt a surge of warmth enveloping her body as she listened to Mafuyu's confession. It made her feel appreciated. She lets out a soft chuckle.
“Then, we'll keep doing this until you get tired of hearing my voice!” Ena declared playfully.
“I don't think I'll get tired of hearing your voice, Ena.”
Ena blinked. She almost lost her grip on her phone again. Her mouth agape at the declaration. A rush of heat began spreading on her cheeks; and they're surely red! She couldn't believe what just came out of Mafuyu's mouth. It made her feel jittery. Electric and mind numbing.
“W-what the hell…” That was all Ena could respond to.
“Hm?”
There was a surge of fire; annoyance.
“What do you mean, “hm”?! Have you lost your mind?! What was that?! I—!!”
Ena is too flustered to continue. Her hand flew to her face, rubbing it harshly, as if to wipe off the heat permeating from her face.
“I'm only saying what I wanted to say. You told me to say what's on my mind, right?”
BUT NOT LIKE THIS!! Ena internally screamed.
“Ugh! I hate you so much, Mafuyu!”
Snorts.
Ena froze for the umpteenth time. Did Mafuyu just snorted?? Did Mafuyu just freaking snorted??!! What is happening?!!
Ena could hear breathy bouts of laughter on the other line. It seems that Mafuyu was indeed laughing. That woman was laughing at her misery. How dare she? And why the hell is it cute?!
“Ena?”
“What?” Hissed Ena, glaring at her wall. She was greeted by silence. She was about to retort when Mafuyu continued.
“Thank you. Good night.”
“Hah—wait!”
Mafuyu ended the call. Ena breathed a sigh. Sometimes, she just doesn't get Mafuyu. One moment she's all sweet, and the next cold as hell. But talking to Mafuyu was pleasant in all other ways. What happened today was… something else. Ena felt her ears and face start to heat up as she recounted their conversation. Ena gulped as she let herself fall to her bed, head on her pillow, swallowing the squeals threatening to come out of her throat.
She then laid on her back and stared at the ceiling, still flushed. Honestly, Ena thinks Mafuyu is going to be the end of her.
1 am on a Tuesday.
Ena couldn't fall asleep. Her mind was on high alert ever since being woken up by an unexpected night terror. Ena rarely gets night terrors; the last she could remember was back in highschool when everything was still chaotic at best. And her night terror bites. Like suckers with teeth ready to drag you down in the deepest corners of your mind. That woke up Ena at midnight. And an hour later, her body and mind just won't let her sleep.
Ena sighed as she pushed forward her sheets away from her, before sitting up. She felt lethargic. Although her body and mind is screaming for sleep, they wouldn't let her sleep. Suddenly, her phone rang.
“Who in an ungodly hour–??” Ena thought, sluggishly bringing her arm to her side table to grab her phone. An all too familiar name popped up on her screen.
“Mafuyu?” She softly answered.
“Ena? I didn't think you'd answer.” Mafuyu stated.
“Ahh. Yeah.” Ena replied absentmindedly.
“Ena? Are you okay?” Ena hummed in reply, blinking tiredly. Mafuyu noticed how tired she sounded and spoke. “Could you open the camera for me? I want to look at you.”
Ena robotically turned on her camera, meeting face to face with Mafuyu who looked like they just got out of the shower, judging from the towel on her neck.
“Happy?” She asked. She watched as Mafuyu stared at her before replying.
“Yes.”
Ena blinked, her eyes widening at the admission. Honestly, she really shouldn't be surprised. Ever since they started to hang out, Mafuyu was more honest, more expressive than her usual aloof self.
“Ena.”
Ena hummed.
“You sound tired.”
Ena scoffed, a smile making its way on her face. “Can't sleep.”
“Oh.” Ena began to see blurred vision on the screen, indicating that Mafuyu was doing something. And that something was getting in the bed. “Do you want to talk?”
“Hmm…” Ena hummed, not having the energy to talk.
Mafuyu noticed this and spoke.
“I'll talk to you. You don't need to reply or anything. Just like when I have nightmares.”
She watched as Ena inhaled sharply. She noticed the way Ena's eyes turned glassy and how her lips quivered. It made her feel uncomfortable, seeing Ena looking so… down.
“Sure.” Smiled Ena. “Tell me about your day?”
“I'm not sure what to share.” Frowned Mafuyu, thinking. She lets out a sound. “Ah. A colleague gave us a slice of cake earlier.”
That seemed to pique Ena's interest, so Mafuyu continued on with her recollection.
“I think it was her birthday, so she decided to give us cake. It's carrot cake.” Mafuyu recalled. She then noticed how Ena's face scrunched at the mention of ‘carrot’, which made her chuckle.
“What's funny?” Ena asked, glaring.
“You haven't changed, Ena.” She responded.
“Hah?” Ena replied.
“You still hate carrots.” Stated Mafuyu, watching as Ena rolled her eyes, huffing.
“Yeah, so?”
Mafuyu shook her head with a small smile. “Nothing. I thought by now you'll be okay with carrots.”
“Nuh uh. Still hate them.”
“Even carrot cake?” She pondered.
“Weirdly enough, I like the taste of it. It's just, the carrot part keeps making me flinch.”
Mafuyu hummed, a thought passed by. “Should I bake you one?”
“You can bake?” Ena looked shocked.
“Yes.” Mafuyu replied. Ena grinned; it made Mafuyu happy.
“Bake me something then! Cheese—” Ena yawned, “—cake.”
“Sleepy?” Mafuyu asked.
“Honestly, yeah.” Ena replied apologetically. Mafuyu shook her head to say that it's okay.
“You should sleep then.” Mafuyu replied. Then as if a trigger, Ena began to look uncomfortable, frowning and biting her lip anxiously. “Ena?”
“Watch me sleep?” Came the hurried reply.
Eh? “Eh?”
Mafuyu saw as Ena turned red at the sudden realization of what she just said, and proceeded to panic.
“Ah! Sorry! Forget about that. Yeah! I'll sleep now, goodnight!”
Ena was about to turn down the call, but Mafuyu called out to her in time. Ena blinked at her and waited, looking confused. Mafuyu took a deep breath and replied, “I don't mind.”
Ena only stared at her.
“I'll keep you company until you fall asleep. Just like how we do it.” Mafuyu clarified.
“But… didn't you just… come home?”
“And? I want to spend my time with you, Ena. Also, I don't have work tomorrow.” Mafuyu bluntly replied, looking directly at Ena.
“Wha–! Mafuyu—you!!” Came Ena's flustered sputtering.
“What?” Mafuyu asked.
“Nevermind!” Ena shouted. “You smooth talker.”
Mafuyu couldn't hear what she said so she just tilted her head, which Ena seemed to understand, who only shook her head with an exasperated sigh. Mafuyu then shrugged, letting it slide without asking her.
“Sleep Ena.” She said.
Ena rolled her eyes. “Wow, why didn't I think of that?”
Mafuyu huffed and made herself comfortable in her bed by scooching down and laying on her side. “Just lay down.”
“Hai, hai.” Replied Ena, laying down on her bed properly.
As Ena laid down, the illumination of the moon casted a glow on Ena's face, making Mafuyu stare at her, realizing how pretty Ena looked. Ena noticed the silence after a minute and looked at Mafuyu.
“Earth to Mafuyu?” She called out to Mafuyu.
Mafuyu snapped from her stupor and fixed her gaze on Ena. “You look good under the moonlight.” Came the absentminded utterance of compliment.
“Oh god…” Ena hissed, not expecting a compliment from Mafuyu, rubbing her hand on her face. “Quit that shit, Mafuyu.”
“What?” Mafuyu asked. Ena could only sigh as Mafuyu pondered why Ena hated being complimented. “I like complimenting you. You deserve it.”
Mafuyu watched as Ena's face erupted red from embarrassment. She finds it pleasant to look at, especially since Ena's also fighting the urge to smile, which makes her more adorable in Mafuyu's eyes.
“Sleep now, Ena. I'll call you later in the morning.” Mafuyu said softly.
“Hah? After pestering me, you're leaving?” Ena grunted, clearly annoyed.
“I'm not leaving. I said I'll watch you sleep right? So sleep. Please.” Mafuyu replied as softly as she could.
“You better call me later then!” Ena said. “I'll wait for you!”
“I'll call, yes.” Replied Mafuyu, staring at Ena who's fighting the urge to sleep with her eyes fluttering close and then reopening again.
“You better be! I want to see your pretty face!” Stated Ena, seemingly unable to recognize what she just said.
Mafuyu chuckled at this and smiled warmly as she could at Ena, who blearily blinked at her. “Yeah. I'll see you later Ena.”
Mafuyu watched as Ena slowly relinquished herself to sleep, but her phone was still propped up steadily, allowing her to see Ena asleep soundly. She admired Ena's face in her screen and silently wished that their distance shortened. But for now, she's content with admiring Ena from a screen.
“Goodnight, Ena. Sweet dreams…” Mafuyu breathed, staring at Ena, contemplating if she'll continue what she wanted to say.
Just for today. With a sleeping Ena as her witness, she'll continue what she had been meaning to say all this time.
“I love you, Ena.”