Chapter Text
"whatcha doin'?"
"listenin'."
a few minutes before, hikaru had dropped his copy of master + master volume 2 and burrowed himself underneath yoshiki's arm like a puppy, nuzzling his cheek against his chest. it took until now for yoshiki to ask why.
"listenin' to what?" he scoffs nervously, a flush working its way across his freckled features. "do souls make sounds?"
"no, but hearts do."
that makes yoshiki fumble his own book, the open manga falling on the bed beside hikaru's. he's listening to his heartbeat? he must have heard it skip, because he snickers softly as yoshiki tries not to panic over how close he is right now.
"i thought ya only cared about souls , not bodies."
"i used ta', but ever since ya told me i gotta take life more seriously i've been thinkin' about bodies a lot more."
before yoshiki can cobble together a response, hikaru is sitting back up, pressing a hand to the warm dip in yoshiki's chest where his cheek had been.
"like, it's just movin' all by itself in there. that's pretty amazin', ain't it?"
his fervent gaze catches yoshiki's for just a second before he's glancing off self-consciously, his heart thumping under hikaru's palm.
"yeah... i guess."
"and ya can feel it all over, too."
he trails his fingers down one of yoshiki's now-limp arms, following the throbbing course of blood down to his wrist before snatching up his hand and holding it against his own chest.
"this thing was barely movin' when i came across it, and now feel it!"
"hikaru-" yoshiki's voice breaks at the reminder of 光's death, as if it weren't already constantly on his mind. although his first instinct is to pull away, something keeps his hand lingering there on hikaru's chest even after hikaru's let him go- the comforting thought that, even though he's gone, this part of his best friend is still here, warm and alive in yoshiki's palm. hikaru continues, softer,
"i jus' think it's cool, is all. you were right, there's somethin' more to 'em than just boats."
yoshiki's gaze trails up from the hand spread on hikaru's chest to the boy's inquisitive face, finding his eyes bright with surprise and possible excitement that he hadn't fought back.
"wanna listen?"
yoshiki's fingers twitch, grasping at the fabric of hikaru's shirt as he looks away again, blushing deeply now.
"nuh-uh."
"c'mon, it's no big deal," hikaru insists, leaning forward to press his chest against yoshiki's hand. but it is a big deal, one that yoshiki can't articulate to him without taking a knife to his own gut.
"the only time i'd get that close to 光 was when i was wrestlin' him," he mumbles, hoping that this little slap on the wrist might get ヒカル behaving again.
"well, i'm not him."
yoshiki looks up again, finding his expression serious and his heartbeat steady, no sign of a tease in his demeanor at all. maybe it would be okay to get this close, just for a moment.
"...okay, fine. lemme hear."
hikaru's face breaks into an eager grin, and in a moment he's shuffled himself back against the pillows, sprawling comfortably out on yoshiki's bed and beckoning him over. yoshiki is frozen in the cold absence of his heart, muscles refusing to move until hikaru reaches for his still-outstretched hand and drags him down on top of him.
"there ya go!"
for a moment yoshiki's face is right up against hikaru's chest, and he gets a greedy lungful of his rich summer scent before quickly turning his head to flatten his ear against his heart. this, he finds, is even worse– not only is he now being assaulted with the full heat, smell, and shape of hikaru against him, he can't hear anything but the world within him. his heartbeat is much steadier than yoshiki's, its lively march leading a symphony of rushing air and gushing blood and gurgling guts all playing just for him. it's a profoundly different experience than plunging his hand into the slick void of his other insides, one he finds himself relieved and even grateful for as he finally settles against him.
"aw, ya like this, don't ya?"
yoshiki tenses up again immediately, shame creeping along his bones before hikaru snuffs it out by gently patting his head.
"relax... it's jus' me."
yes... this is ヒカル. not the 光 he knew before, who had crushes on girls and an internalized small-town sense of decency. this hikaru is free of those prejudices, open and inviting of every new experience unlike anyone yoshiki's ever met before.
he takes another breath. citrus and sweat.
his heartbeat falls in time with hikaru's.
"i didn' realize ya had all this, too," yoshiki murmurs, even though he knows that logically, he was aware hikaru could breathe and bleed and eat like normal.
"i'm human as ya 'till i open up that hole," he laughs softly, the sound amplified in yoshiki's ear. "at least, this body is."
"try to think of it as yours," yoshiki tells him, even though the thought brings a lump to his throat. "as you."
"that's the human way, huh?"
yoshiki feels a tingle along his spine as hikaru strokes down his back.
"...so this is you."
yoshiki can't help it; he hides, burying his face in hikaru's belly even though he knows the rest of him is left on the bed, feeling bare and vulnerable under hikaru's gaze. his arms come up to wrap around hikaru's waist, squeezing as he continues to grace his body with gentle touches.
"yer real pretty."
yoshiki can feel his pulse thundering, no longer led by the thumping he feels against his forehead– but even that has accelerated, drumming with excitement as hikaru's hand fixes itself square in the center of his back, feeling the reverberations through his ribs.
"inside ‘n out."
there's no way he deserves this praise– there's nothing pretty about his awkward teenage body, the harsh angles of his bones and the ungainly length of his limbs. 光 was always the pretty one, between them. the light that shined on everyone. but once again, this hikaru has no understanding of those things. no pretense. he gives this compliment with an abject sincerity that rips yoshiki open, his heart on display along with his searing soul.
"ya don't gotta hide from me," hikaru goes on, stroking down yoshiki's trembling back as far as he can reach. "it's not like ya can, anyway."
yoshiki's breath hitches at the thought of being so completely known. perhaps there are things this hikaru could understand without words, things his body, because it is his body now, could learn from yoshiki's by osmosis. he grips him tighter, his heartbeat hammering up in his throat while hikaru's flutters like a butterfly in his belly.
"wish i could jus' eat ya up," hikaru laughs, as yoshiki burrows himself ever deeper into him, "but ya wouldn't end up in there."
"hikaru,” yoshiki groans, mortification muffled in the fabric of his t-shirt.
"it's alright. i'm jus' glad ya feel safe with me."