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“Buck! Let's pull Eddie up and all go home.” Cap shouts over the thundering storm above them and Buck’s heart settles for just a moment, soon he’d be back at the firehouse getting ready to leave and Eddie would be safe next to him, the two would go home to find Christopher and Carla hopefully finishing homework so the three boys can relax for the rest of the night, especially after the day they’ve had. That’s all Buck had on his mind: the comfort of the Diaz household and his two favourite people nearby.
But of course, nothing goes smoothly for the 118.
“Cap! CAP !” Buck shouts, he doesn’t even register what he is doing until Bobby is on the ground under him, tackled out of the way of the disaster.
Looking up to see the rig gone, mud covering where there once was a hole… covering up the only way Eddie had to get out, Buck’s entire chest contorts.
He’s on the move before he even realises, digging and pawing at the mud, screaming, but not even aware enough to hear himself, to know the anguish in his voice as he shouts for the other man.
Panic. Dread. Despair.
Buck can’t believe what’s in front of him, he hears his name being called, hands grabbing his shoulders and pulling, but he can’t… he can’t look anywhere but the 30 feet of mud that is now buried on top of his best friend.
He knows he argued with his team, spitting out possible ideas, accusing them all of thinking Eddie’s dead when his idea’s got shot down but it’s almost like that was another person, an out of body experience as cliche as that sounds, Buck’s not seeing the world straight right now, it’s almost like there’s a film over everything, a weird lense of the world, tilted off of its axis, one with the possibility of not having Eddie in it anymore.
Buck feels helpless—he would have gotten down on his hands and knees and dug through that mud himself if Chim hadn’t shot that idea down too.
He knows Hen’s reassurance was for everyone and not just him; they would find him eventually It’s just—could they do it in time?
What would Buck tell Christopher ?
How could Buck tell Christopher?
Eddie—
Buck shakes the thoughts from his head. He knew they had every right to pull him from this, he had already acted out but Buck also knows that Bobby would never do that to him, keep him from the worst of it maybe but never pull him from the entire case.
There are people rushing around everywhere, most he doesn’t know. Cap’s levelheaded but heatedly talking to someone on a phone—or a walkie, Buck isn’t sure.
Hen and Chim are getting supplies ready from the truck, supplies someone who had been buried in mud might need, and Buck? Buck is sitting helplessly, watching everything unravel.
Cap eventually rounds everyone up, big speech about what’s going to happen, what supplies will need to be used and the ground they’re going to cover. When Bobby speaks about finding Eddie, his voice doesn’t waver one bit, he’s looking Buck dead in the eyes promising to bring him back… Buck just wasn’t sure if Bobby meant alive or dead, how long could Eddie survive, that’s even if he did make it through the initial collapse, all these anxieties and worries running through Buck, not even Bobby’s reassurance could fix it this time.
Buck is barely even listening at this point, he knows what his part of the help is and that is all that really matters, everything else fades into the background, his mind almost like a montage of all these moments he has had with Eddie over the years, his mind crumbling around him at the thought of these being all he has left of the man.
And just when Buck thinks he’s going to spiral beyond coming back from he hears it, “ Won’t be easy. ” And then the group just parts, and he spots the unbelievable.
And then it’s like his whole world just slots right back into place.
Eddie’s Alive.
Alive and standing in front of them all looking like he’d just crawled back from hell to be there.
Buck rushes over before he’s fully aware of where his feet are taking him and the first thing he does is slot his hand in Eddie’s, it’s not warm and comforting like the man’s touch normally is, it’s actually terrifying how cold Buck can feel the man is even through his gear, but there’s a pulse, Eddie’s chest is falling and rising, Eddie’s alive.
“Can’t get rid of me that easy, Buckley.” Eddie smiles up at him from his hunched position, barely able to stand on his own two feet, and it’s nearly enough to have Buck’s own knees fold underneath him, but then suddenly Eddie’s eyes are rolling back into his head, and he becomes dead weight in Buck and Bobby’s arms.
“Quick! Warming blankets! get him in the back of the truck!” Bobby is quick to pick up the weight of Eddie and start pulling him to the ambulance, Chim running ahead and grabbing the supplies he had been ready-ing earlier.
Eddie comes back to rather quickly, “I-I’m pretty c-cold g-g-guys.” He mumbles and Buck is quick to hoist Eddie into the back of the ambulance and onto the gurney, grabbing the warming blanket from Chim.
Buck can hear everyone cheering behind them, applauding Eddie not only for his heroic save but for his comeback, too. However, the 118 are still panicking, doing their jobs of course, but panicking.
It’s like a small electric current under all of their skin and until Eddie is given the all clear from a doctor at a proper hospital with proper scans, none of them will lose that feeling.
“I-I’m Okay, Buck.” Eddie slurs out, reaching for his hand again.
“Yeah— Yeah, Buddy, you’re okay.” Buck breathes out.
“J-just… make sure…” and then he’s gone again, eyes rolling back, body slumped.
“Hen!” Buck shouts through gritted teeth, and of course, she’s there already, assuring Buck that it’s okay.
“Once his body is warmed up, he should stop. It’s his body’s way of trying to preserve energy to keep him warm.” She’s slipping an oxygen mask over Eddie and gently moving Buck in order to let Eddie lie fully down on the gurney, wrapping more heating blankets directly over him.
“Chim! Let’s go!” Hen is calling to the front of the ambulance as Bobby closes the back doors behind them, promising he will meet them at the hospital.
No one questions Buck riding with them in the ambulance, his hand is still holding Eddie’s and until he absolutely has to he is not letting it go.
Eddie’s back again within minutes.
“Oooh, m-much better.” He mumbles and does what Buck thinks is trying to snuggle down into the gurney and warming blankets. Buck’s sure he’s somewhat delirious with the exertion of today.
“Hey, hey!” Buck doesn’t mean to be as aggressive with it, but he needs to see them again.
Suddenly, as if Eddie knew exactly what Buck needed, he opened his eyes and looked directly at Buck, “Didn’t do anything stupid trying to save me, did you?” A small smile breaks out on the edges of Eddie’s mouth, and Buck can’t help but sigh in relief.
There he is.
His heart sings it at him.
His Eddie, with those big, soft eyes and warm smile.
“Like we’d let him.” Hen scoffed, causing Eddie to laugh, which in turn caused a coughing fit that had Hen turning in alarm.
“How much water was down there?” She asked, obviously worried and as if the universe's timing couldn’t be any better, suddenly Eddie’s cough’s turn wet and water starts coming up with them, all over Buck of course.
“Can’t have been much more than that, I’m sorry Buck.” Eddie has the nerve to look sheepish like Buck would be mad or something, but all he can feel is worry bloom even more through his chest.
With quick ease, Hen has a stethoscope to Eddie’s chest, shushing the two of them.
“Hen, I promise you, I’m f-fine.” Eddie tries to brush her off. “I didn’t swallow that much water, just a s-small amount in the initial collapse.”
“And were you conscious the entire time you were down there?” Hen counteracts, shutting up Eddie rather fast.
“I’m going to let them know that you will need a chest X-ray asap, this could lead to acute pulmonary edema, that’s not something to take lightly, you’re slightly short of breath and your lungs may sound pretty clear, but that doesn’t give you the all clear. But we do need to get you sitting up, lying down is not good for you right now.” Hen word vomits at the two of them and Buck quickly helps Hen, with his free hand, click the gurney into a more upright condition, even with Eddie’s protests.
Hen continues to do her checks the whole drive to the hospital while Buck sits in silence, just listening to the commotion of Hen's worry and Eddie trying to reassure her, but after a while the questions become few and far between.
“Eddie?” Buck looks at Hen when he says it, as if asking permission to be able to talk to Eddie, she simply nods slightly and goes back to filling out whatever paperwork she has on the clipboard nursed in her lap.
“Buck?” Eddie flops his head over to look at him.
“You were telling me something before, telling me to make sure of something… what was that?” Buck squeezed his hand, and it was like Eddie finally realised they had been holding hands, his eyes floating down to where they were intertwined on the side of the bed.
“Mm, ring Carla, make sure they weren’t watching the reports, make sure Chris doesn’t see.” Eddie’s eyes are full of panic, of course, he is still thinking of his son and protecting him at a time like this.
The thought hadn’t even occurred to Buck until that moment, too worried about Eddie. Reporters had shown up at the scene the second they caught wind of the story, some even stayed during the torrential downpour, really thinking about it, Buck can remember walking past the few of them that were left when they took Eddie to the ambulance.
If Chris saw that…
Buck hated reporters.
“I’ll call them when we get to the hospital, promise.” Buck reassured Eddie, who in turn simply squeezed Buck’s hand and went back to resting his eyes, “ Not passing out, just tired.” Eddie had reassured Buck after he freaked out the first time he’d done it.
Buck kept his promise, finally letting go of Eddie’s hand once they reached far enough into the hospital that Buck could go no further. While stuck in the stupid waiting room he called Carla, checked in on ger and Christopher, glad to hear the two had been nowhere near a TV all afternoon.
“I’ll be over to relieve you soon, once I know what the hospital is doing with Eddie, don’t tell Chris just yet, just let him know we’re stuck at work, I’m not sure what Eddie will want him to know just yet.” Buck explains, the unsure tone clear in voice.
“Buck, our Eddie will be okay, he always is. Do not worry, I’m sure you’ll both be back to Chris in no time, and meanwhile, you know I don’t mind some extra hours with our favourite boy.” Carla eased some of the anxieties rushing through Buck’s mind, of course Eddie would be fine, it’s Eddie. Buck said his goodbyes and see you soons, declining the offer to talk to Chris, unsure if he could hold it together for him right now.
Something from the call kept running through Buck’s mind over and over again.
Our Eddie.
Our? Chris and hers—surely she meant… surely not his right?
“Buck!?” Suddenly Bobby was jogging into the waiting room and scooping him up into his arms.
“Bobby.” Buck’s voice wavered.
“I know, Kid. I know. But he’s okay. It’s all going to be okay .” Bobby assured, patting Buck’s back before pulling away, moving to slump into the seat next to him and wait along with Chim and Hen, who sat opposite them, talking quietly amongst themselves.
“Mr Buckley?” A doctor was eventually calling, all of the 118 rising to their feet, and the confusion of the doctor was clear before Buck moved towards her, “That’s me, sorry this is our team.” Buck explained.
“Okay… Well, Mr Diaz is fine, you guys are lucky he got out when he did, any longer and I doubt he would be coming back to you all in one piece. He is resting now but once he wakes we’d be happy to let him leave with you.” She smiles softly at Buck and nods before looking to the rest of them.
“Uh… I do however, only have permission for Mr Buckley to come through. Visiting hours are over, so anyone not listed as an emergency contact…” She sheepishly looks towards the rest of his team but they obviously understand.
“Go and get him, Buck. We’ll see him another time, ‘bout time the rest of us got home to our own families anyways.” Cap reassures Buck, having to push his shoulder slightly in order for him to actually follow the Doctor.
Buck is surprised to see Eddie awake and moving when they enter the room, a nurse talking softly as she removes what Buck can only assume was a drip for fluids.
“Mr Diaz, nice to see you up.” The Doctor greets, and Eddie goes to reply to her before the nurse in front of him moves, and he can see that Buck is with her.
“Buck.” Eddie sighs and Buck nearly folds right then and there, the soft smile lighting up his face has Buck filled with so much relief, these last few hours really have helped Eddie, they’ve cleaned all the obvious spots of mud from him and the fluids and such had done wonders to him, no longer pale and deathly looking, Buck assumes he’d gotten a bit of rest on top of that but the man still looked exhausted which was totally expected after the days events.
“Ready to go home?” Buck laughed, moving to stand beside his bed, hand coming out to squeeze his leg.
“More than anything, you’re staying the night.” Eddie didn’t phrase it as a question, more like a request, and—Well, Buck wasn’t exactly about to turn him down, even if Eddie’s lounge was the last thing he wanted to rest his aching body on, he needed to be close to his boys right now.
“That’s okay with me.” Buck laughed, but he truly felt tears pulling at his eyes, and it was as if the doctor knew, calling the nurse to leave and stating that she would be back with discharge papers in a short while, closing the door softly behind her.
“Buck?” Eddie questioned when Buck couldn’t even look at the man, he was desperately trying to blink away his tears, he hadn’t been the one buried alive just hours ago, what right did he have to cry?
“Hey, hey! Look at me, please.” Eddie’s voice cracked on the last word, and Buck couldn’t will himself not to look.
“There he is, come ‘ere.” Eddie held his arm closest to Buck out and Buck quickly ducked into it.
“Thought you were gone,” Buck mumbled.
“Couldn’t leave you to have all the fun now, could I?” Eddie laughed but then sniffled discreetly.
“It’s been a rough day.” Buck sighed, pulling back out from Eddie’s arms.
“Yeah…hey… I’ve got one here with me, but I think I need to see my other favourite guy too, take me home?” Eddie’s eyes shone and Buck's heart leapt at the request.
Chris.
Oh god, he could really use some Chris time right about now.
“Anything you want.” Buck laughed.
“Ooo, maybe I should milk this while I can. Anything you say?” Eddie tilted his head teasingly.
“Nice to know that not even 30 feet of mud can break your spirit,” Buck mutters, rolling his eyes just in time for the Doctor to re-enter the room.
“Forms are all there, bring them to the nurses station when you’re done and then you’re all free, I’ll need you to come back in a few days for a check up on your lungs just to be sure but I’m certain you should be back to full health with a few days rest, I’ve sent a report to your Captain stating that you should not be back at work for at the very least 3 days.” She explains while handing a clipboard to Buck , smiling and bidding them both farewell.
Within two hours, both men are dragging their feet through the threshold of Eddie’s house, keen to lay eyes on Christopher, even though they both knew he would be asleep by this hour just the mere sight of him would be enough.
Eddie had said in the car that in the unlikely scenario that Chris was still awake, he didn’t want to tell him, they could tell him what had really happened tomorrow after Eddie could get some rest and deal with it all himself for a bit first.
Buck obviously understood. He didn’t think he could take the emotional turmoil that conversation would bring them right now.
Carla is quick to pull both of them in for hugs, confirming that Chris is in fact asleep, although apparently it didn’t go without some struggle.
“He hadn’t spoken to you since this morning; he was worried!” She explained, squeezing Eddie’s shoulder before gathering her things and bidding them farewell, leveling Buck with a grim smile before leaving.
“Wanna just stick our heads in?” Eddie’s look was one of pleading as if he was asking Buck for permission.
“Duh!” Buck nearly tripped over his feet in a rush to see the boy, Eddie right beside him.
A sea of warmth settled over Buck at the sight, Eddie watching his son sleep soundly just feet from them both, not a single worry etched into his features, just how it should be.
Buck didn’t know how long the both of them stood there, but eventually Eddie softly padded his way across the room, whispering a goodnight to his son before kissing his forehead and nodding at Buck, time to go.
Once Eddie shuts Chris’ door, it’s like the day catches up with him, and Buck can see that he isn’t holding it together very well anymore.
“Hey, you need to shower, think you can do that first?” Buck grabs Eddie’s hip when his balance falters.
“Mmm, shower might help,” Eddie mumbles more to himself than anything, and Buck walks him to Eddie’s bathroom. “Yell if you need anything, yeah?” Buck makes Eddie look at him.
“Yeah, Buck, I’ll be fine! Go get some sleep yourself, you know where everything for the couch is.” Eddie simply dismisses him, and Buck knows it’s because he’s tired and not to take it personally.
Buck tells himself that he will rest his eyes just until Eddie gets out the shower, he’d only allow himself to sleep once he knew Eddie was fine and in bed but after setting up the lounge and changing into the comfy clothes he always kept at Eddie’s he found that sleep simply snatched him quickly, his aching bones and heavy shoulders succumbing to sleep faster than they ever had without an injury present.
Buck doesn’t know how he knows it, but he knows hours have passed when he next wakes, he isn’t sure what causes it at first, but then he hears it, teeth chattering and the soft hum of a microwave close by.
“Eddie?” Buck whispers into the dark house, manoeuvring into the kitchen with ease even in the darkness.
“Sh-sh-shit! S-S-Sorry.” Eddie looks sheepishly towards him and Buck can’t help but smile, Eddie was bundled up with his bedding wrapped around him like a child, but somehow still shivering.
“Are you okay?” Buck whispers, moving closer to the man so that they are nearly chest to chest.
“It’s l-l-like the cold is i-i-in my b-b-bones,” Eddie explained helplessly.
“Let me in.” Buck sighs and Eddie quickly opens up his arms, blankets and all, to Buck, who quickly ducks inside them and wraps his arms around Eddie, who just seems to completely slump against him.
“Better?” Buck tightens his grip.
Eddie just nods into Buck’s chest, truly going almost limp, Buck the only thing holding him up. “Okaaaaay—Why don’t we get you back to bed?” Buck laughs, and Eddie freezes.
“Please don’t leave me.” He blurts, burying himself impossibly further into Buck.
“Hey, didn’t say anything about leaving, but you can’t exactly get back to sleep while slumped against me in your kitchen, can you?” Buck reasons, humour lacing his voice.
“I m-mean… I guess n-not?” Eddie mutters.
And that’s how Buck ends up in Eddie’s bed, Eddie attached to him like some sort of koala bear.
“Why are you always so warm?” Eddie mumbled, yet again burying himself into Buck further.
“I don’t know, ask Maddie, it’s just always been a Buckley thing, we run warm.” Buck tried to shrug off, “I don’t know, I think it’s just an Evan thing, human embodiment of sunshine and all that.” Eddie’s words come out slightly slurred and slow, sleep taking him fast.
Now listen… you’d think it would be the ‘human embodiment of sunshine’ thing that has Buck’s heart racing but if he was being honest with you, it was the use of his first name and don’t get him wrong normally Maddie was the only one he let call him that but… something about the way Eddie said it… he realised that when it came from Eddie he actually didn’t hate it as much as he usually would.
But that wasn’t exactly a revelation, there wasn’t much that Eddie would do that Buck could hate.
The next morning Buck struggles to leave Eddie, the peaceful look on his face just drawing Buck in.
But he had things to do, he had to cook for them and feed Christopher and get him to school, Eddie needed the rest and they could tell Chris everything over dinner tonight, which Buck planned to be at because there was no way in hell he was leaving Eddie all alone for the next few days, he’d stay on the lumpy uncomfortable lounge until Eddie inevitably hassled him out of their house like he had before, never because he didn’t want Buck there but because he felt bad for keeping the man from his own home.
But Buck knew where he felt truly like home, and it definitely wasn’t his loft.
Not long later, Eddie shifts from being dead to the world to feeling like he should be dead, his body feels like lead, and his joints ache as though he were a man of a much older age. The audible groan he lets out trying to get out of the bed should raise alarms for anyone in the house, but Eddie finds that he receives no noise back in return. Curiosity getting the best of him, he trudges his way out into the house, searching for its inhabitants but only finds a note taped to the fridge.
Took Chris to school and going to grab groceries,
your phone is on charge in the kitchen if you need to call!
- Buck
Eddie turns to find his phone close by and grabs it, groaning when he sees all the notifications, the team asking him if he’s okay, messages of support and hopefulness of quick recovery. Eddie shoots a few replies right there before realising he needs to sit before he passes out, quickly moving to the couch and continuing to scroll through the messages.
What Eddie doesn’t expect is a message from his sisters in their sibling group chat.
A: Abuela told us what happened, think you should see this.
S: Oh my god, Adriana, give the man time to recover! I thought we spoke about this.
The first text has a link attached to it and Eddie can’t help but be suspicious, it’s a news article about the story, framing Eddie to be a hero for saving the young boys life but after the well story the article seems to branch off to more about their team and the fight they had to save not only the boy but one of their own.
There’s a video, and before Eddie thinks any better he’s clicking play, the small summary below states it’s the moment that the equipment was struck and collapsed and LA nearly lost ‘one if its finest.’
Eddie feels weird watching it happen from the team's view, but what really makes Eddie’s blood freeze over are the screams.
Buck’s screams.
It truly stops Eddie in his tracks, his mind blanks, and he can’t help but let the video play on loop.
Buck diving for where the hole had once been, screaming and helplessly digging at the ground.
The screams.
Eddie feels them resonating somewhere deep inside him, breaking something deep amongst everything else inside of him.
And that’s where Buck found him twenty minutes later, he hadn’t been quite in his entering Eddie’s house, but he figures the man was too zoned in on his phone to notice.
Buck recognised the audio floating through from the living room immediately, and dear god, he wanted nothing more than to be a coward and walk right back out the front door.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t see that for at least a little bit longer.” Buck broke Eddie’s trance.
“Buck?” Eddie’s voice held so much raw emotion that Buck nearly didn’t know what to do, but his feet yet again had a mind of their own, moving to kneel in front of Eddie.
Buck’s hands came to grasp Eddie’s face.
“I’m so glad you’re okay, Eddie. I don’t think I can convey that enough.” Buck whispers, forcing himself to look directly into Eddie’s eyes.
“Buck.” Eddie’s voice breaks, tears slipping down his cheeks.
“I know, I know .” Buck quickly moves to sit next to Eddie and pull him into his side, Eddie’s head ducking to Buck’s chest.
Buck holds Eddie like his life depends on it.
“I nearly died,” Eddie mumbled after a while, pulling away only slightly, enough to be able to look at Buck.
“Hey, no! Listen to me, you wouldn’t have—we would have found you in time.” Buck’s voice is hard, demanding that Eddie believe him.
“You… your screams -“ Eddie felt a shiver run through him.
“I’m sorry, I… I panicked.” Buck was almost pleading, he wanted Eddie to understand, he couldn’t think rationally in the moment.
“I… I thought I lost you.” Buck moved to rest a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. “I… I couldn’t think straight, I just had to get to you . I need you.” Buck shrugged.
“Silly man, you’ll always have me.” Eddie smiled something incredibly soft and Buck felt his heart race.
Last time he felt like this with Eddie had been the Tsunami.
“ Always, cariño.”
That moment had bounced around in Buck’s head for weeks after, but nothing ever came about it, and Buck found himself only daydreaming of it when he was in need of great comfort.
Buck knew this was another moment like such.
“I’m sorry I put you through that.” Eddie eventually straightened up and moved to grasp the hand Buck had on his shoulder.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, you came back to us,” Buck spoke the last part so softly it was almost a whisper.
“I will always come back to you,” Eddie assured Buck with a squeeze of their hands, slowly sinking back into the couch but not letting go of Buck’s hand.
“Tired? Sore? Hungry?” Buck laughed. Eddie definitely looked rough, but Buck would never tell him that to his face.
“All of the above.” Eddie just laughed and tilted his head back, closing his eyes.
“Want me to make you something?” Buck questioned, starting to get up to do just that, but Eddie tugged at their joint hands.
“Want you to just stay here for a moment.” Eddie seemed embarrassed to admit it, but Buck didn’t question it, settling back down on the couch with Eddie, who slowly leaned to have his head resting on Buck’s shoulder.
“Never want to hear something like that again,” Eddie mumbles and Buck’s heart clenches.
“Mmmm?” Buck replies simply.
“Those screams are going to haunt my nightmares.” Eddie sighs.
Buck didn’t want Eddie to see the video because he was embarrassed ; he thought there was truly no such evidence of his overwhelming feelings quite like this out there. This was different from just bringing up Eddie in any conversation he possibly could, different from Hen and Chim’s banter about their close relationship, different from people assuming Chris was their son.
This was Buck’s heart served cold on a platter for the world to see. Clear evidence to anyone with eyes of Buck’s strong feelings for his best friend.
And Eddie couldn’t even stomach it.
“It’s…. It’s really not that bad?” Buck whinced internally when his voice wavered.
“Buck. I never want to put you through thinking you’ve lost me ever again.” Eddie sat up straight with this, looking Buck dead in the eyes and…
Oh.
Oh .
“I’ve gone through that with Chris, for that split second after the tsunami.” Eddie’s face scrunched up.
“It was the worst few seconds of my life,” Eddie whispered.
“And you felt exactly that for much longer than I did, Buck.” Eddie’s eyes filled with something Buck couldn’t decipher, not pity but… a shared mutual understanding of that horrible feeling.
“The feeling of losing a son?” Buck just had to, he needed Eddie to confirm it.
“Of losing someone you love .” Eddie corrected.
Buck’s entire being softened around the edges, and a smile graced his face slowly.
“Yeah…” Buck nodded.
“Can we message the people who posted the video and do something about getting it taken down?” Eddie wondered out loud, a frown deeply etched into his face.
“I’ll message Athena and see what can be done, but later, right now you need to eat.” Buck stood quickly and pointedly glared at Eddie when he tried to follow.
Eddie just groans and collapses back on the couch, mumbling something about-
“Always taking care of me.”
“Always.” Buck just agreed, running his hand softly through Eddie’s hair before leaving to make the man some food.
If Eddie felt his heart tug at the word… well… maybe that was something special blooming.