Chapter Text
"I don't know if I'm ready to tell them, Cos.."
Lexa felt a hand gently grip her shoulder and tilted her head back slightly to see her girlfriend standing close behind her.
"You don't have to do it until you are, just know I'll be here by your side when you finally do tell them."
Lexa turned completely to face Costia, wrapping her arms around the shorter girls waist and pulling her in.
"Thank you, I just..I want to enjoy what we have now."
Costia draped her arms lightly over Lexa's shoulders and nestled her nose into the crook of her taller girlfriends' neck.
"I agree, Lex..."
She dragged out that final letter, allowing her warm breath to linger on Lexa's neck. It sent a small chill down her spine.
"It's late, we should get some sleep. You're parents know you're spending the night anyways, right?"
The two girls were in their final year of high school, both 17 years old.
Lexa knew her parents wouldn't be too fond of the fact she was only interested in girls, and she also knew she only had another year to go until she moved out of her parents house. Just a few more months until she heard back from Trigeda University, the college she'd applied to. All she had to do was wait until she was settled into her dorm, or new apartment, and she'd never have to worry about her parents accidentally finding out her secret. She didn't dare think about what they'd say to her, just the thought gave Lexa anxiety that she wasn't prepared to deal with on her own. That's why she was glad to have Costia.
"I guess that's one perk of being in the closet.. I get to have sleepovers with my girlfriend."
Lexa said with a smile and a small chuckle and began to lightly sway, still holding onto her favorite person.
Costia nodded against Lexa's skin and looked up at her.
"That's a good point, babe. But really, it's late. We should lay down and put on a movie or something."
Lexa nodded and Costia separated from her to get the two of them proper sleep attire. After a few minutes in her dresser, she tossed Lexa some sleep shorts and an old tee shirt. The two changed in the same room, almost shamelessly. Almost. Lexa was still bashful and tried to respect her girlfriend by facing the other way, and Costia could only poke her tongue out and laugh.
"You're so adorable, Lex. You don't have to be so shy."
The two finished changing and found themselves cuddled up in Costia's warm bed. Lexa laid down behind Costia and draped her arm around the smaller girls waist and Costia wiggled back into Lexa in response. Costia had managed to turn on the TV, and playing on the screen was something both girls had seen one too many times. Before long, both girls were sound asleep.
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When Lexa woke up, she realized two things. One, she had several missed calls from her mom, and two being that Costia was no longer in bed with her.
She took the time she had to herself to call her mom back, feeling a wave of anxiety course through her veins.
Her mother wasn't typically an angry person, but missed calls were a big deal. Lexa tried convincing herself before that it was because her mom loved her and wanted to make sure she was ok, but as she grew up she realized her mother just liked having tabs on her 24/7 to make sure she stayed out of trouble, because Lexa was supposed to be a perfect child who got perfect grades and who never slipped up. She found it harder to please her mother as time passed, and she seemed to be making mistake after mistake. Her anxiety had only gotten worse during high school, but luckily for her, it would be over soon.
She quickly dialed her moms number into her cell phone and held it to her ear while her hand, and whole arm really, shook.
"Hello? Mom?"
"Alexandria, why didn't you pick up when I called before?"
"I'm sorry, I was still sleeping. I tried getting back to you once I saw the missed calls."
When her mother began to speak again, the door creaked open and Costia stepped back inside and quietly shut it behind her, trying her hardest not to disturb the call.
Lexa rolled her eyes at her mothers tone.
"Mom, everything's fine. Her mom is making us breakfast now."
A smirk grew on Costia's face and she climbed over to the bed and at upright next to Lexa. The lie had her pretty amused.
"I gotta go, I'll check in with you later...yes I'll let you know when I'm going to drive home. Ok, bye."
She hung up her phone and tossed it to the foot of the bed, and threw herself back onto the pillows she'd slept on. Costia looked down at her and brushed some of the hair that had fallen out of Lexa's braids back behind her ears, and cupped her face with a hand.
"I don't understand why she's always so frantic about me being over here. I just want to have a nice day with you, I don't want to worry about anything."
"Lexa, you're safe here. Your moms got nothing to worry about."
She shook her head and looked up at her girlfriend.
"It's like I live in a glass house, right on top of an active fault line. And at any damn moment, my home could shatter. Just like that everything can be destroyed. It's fucking terrifying, Costia. I'm never safe."
A tense silence surrounded the two as they stared at each other. Neither of them were very good at talking about the things that hurt them, so they often found themselves not talking at all.
Costia gave in after a few moments and shrugged.
"Well, my mom wasn't the one to make breakfast considering she's out of town, but someone certainly did."
She bent down to plant a gentle kiss on her girlfriends forehead as her eyes lit up.
"It'll get cold if we don't get downstairs now."
"Is there bacon?"
Lexa could feel her mouth watering.
Once she got the nod of approval from her girlfriend, she got out of bed and took Costia's hand and led them into the kitchen.