Chapter Text
Geto Suguru had everything he wanted in life—he told himself that over and over. He had a good job. He had two loving daughters who had just entered university. He had friends whom he saw occasionally. Sort of. He was turning forty-five and also had a failed marriage, but everything else was perfectly good.
And maybe he was sitting alone in a cafe on his birthday because Shoko had to cancel at the last minute (and he’d already arrived since he always got everywhere early), but that didn’t have to be a bad thing.
It was fine.
Everything was fine.
He ordered a café latte and a slice of dark chocolate cake. He thought about calling the girls, but it was Monday night and they were probably busy with schoolwork. They’d arranged to visit over the weekend anyway. He didn’t want to seem desperate.
A bang on the glass of the shop window startled him into nearly knocking his drink over. Annoyed, he looked up to see the last person he’d ever expected.
“Suguru! Oh my god, it is you. I’m coming in!” The man burst through the door and hurried to Suguru’s table, dropping into the seat across from him with a grin. “I seriously can’t believe you’re here. I was just thinking about you.”
“Why?” It was a stupid thing to say, but Suguru felt like he’d just been hit by a train and it was the only thing he could think of.
“Well, it’s your bi-“ He stopped himself, scowling. “No reason. I’m not allowed to fondly remember my college ex-boyfriend?”
Suguru hadn’t seen Gojo Satoru in over twenty years, but clearly, he still had the same lousy personality that Suguru loved so much at nineteen. Gojo looked the same, with his tousled pale hair pushed back from his forehead and a pair of small, dark glasses perched on his perfect nose. He wore a long jacket over a pair of slacks and a button-down shirt with the blue necktie pulled loose like he’d had a long day at work. Fine lines gathered near his bright blue eyes and at the corners of his mouth, more obvious as he smiled at Suguru. Age suited him, like everything did.
“I’m gonna get some cake. You want anything else?”
“I’m good,” Suguru ground out past the lump in his throat.
“Be right back.”
Suguru stared at Gojo’s broad back. His heart was pounding in his ears. He didn’t want to do this now. As if his already disappointing birthday couldn’t get worse, his mind was already supplying him with memories he’d pushed down so far that he believed he’d forgotten them. Seeing Gojo brought back recollections of hot summers, fingers sticky with ice cream, stealing kisses behind the literature department building before Suguru went to the library to study.
University was the first time he felt like himself; far from his small hometown, his parents, and without anyone who knew he was the weird kid at home. Feeling free, he got his ears pierced and dressed how he wanted. He kissed a boy for the first time in the back of a club while a rock band he didn’t even care about filled the small room with cacophonous noise. He kissed Gojo Satoru for the first time nearly a year later, after some sciences major party Shoko had dragged him to, where he was drawn to a boy with white hair and the bluest eyes; the same boy everyone was looking at but to Suguru no one else mattered because Gojo was only looking back at him.
They’d been together for two years. They’d been together until they weren’t. That was Suguru’s fault.
“You feeling okay?” Gojo set his tray on the table with a clatter and sat again. “Feeling the weight of another year settle onto your shoulders?”
“You’re one to talk, old man,” Suguru grumbled, though not without fondness.
Satoru grabbed his chest dramatically. “You wound me. I’ll have you know I look amazing for my age. Good genes, I guess.”
Suguru narrowed his eyes. “Are you saying I don’t look good?”
Gojo’s lips parted on a quick retort, but he stopped himself and smiled a little sadly. “You look tired. But you’re still the most handsome guy for miles.” He poked his fork into his cake. “Except me.”
“Of course.”
“So what’s the second-most handsome man for miles doing here all alone on his forty-fifth birthday?” He scooped a huge forkful of cake into his mouth and watched Suguru, waiting for an answer.
Suguru swallowed heavily. “My kids are at university in Kyoto. They’ll come up this weekend. Shoko was going to meet me today, but there was a big accident, so she had to stay at work.”
Gojo’s eyebrows lifted. “Shoko? No kidding, you guys are still friends? Wow.”
“We meet up when we have the time.” Which wasn’t often, but they tried to talk on the phone at least once a week. Shoko had been supportive after his divorce and helped him move back to Tokyo.
“How many kids?”
“Huh?”
“You said you have kids.”
“Oh. Two. Twin girls. They’re eighteen.”
“How’s your wife? Same one?”
It felt artificial for Gojo to ask all these questions he didn’t care about. Someone must have taught him to be polite somewhere along the last twenty-something years; to ask even if he didn’t care because it was the nice thing to do.
“Divorced a few years ago,” Suguru admitted. He stared into the creamy depths of his latte to avoid making eye contact. He’d forgotten how captivating Gojo’s eyes were, how blue and youthful even now. “Same girl I was with during university.”
“That’s too bad.” The liar. Like he cared.
Suguru shrugged. “Not really.” Time to change the subject. “So what are you doing now?”
“Teaching, actually. Back at our old school.” He grinned around a mouthful of cake. “Surprised?”
“A little. You never expressed any interest in teaching. Your parents must hate that.”
“Oh, they do. Unimportant job, no wife, no kids. It drives them crazy.” Gojo had been set up for success in life from the start. He could have worked at any of his family's many businesses and, as the sole heir, could expect a generous inheritance on top of the money he already had from his grandparents. Suguru had never been introduced to his family, because by the time they hooked up, Gojo was in an off stage of the on-again, off-again contact he kept with his family. But he told Suguru about the pressures they’d put on him his whole life, the need for perfection and good behavior. He and Suguru had so little in common, but they shared the mutual need to escape where they’d come from.
“But you’re happy, right? That’s all that matters.”
“Yeah, I guess I’m pretty happy.” Gojo shrugged and Suguru couldn’t find a lie in it. “I worked in the US for a bit and in Germany, but I like being back in Japan.”
“Sounds nice. Travelling. We never really had the money to go anywhere after the twins were born, and now I’d have to go alone, so it’s less exciting.” It came out more honestly than he intended, from a raw, bitter place in himself that he hated.
“Don’t knock solo traveling,” Gojo said, completely ignoring Suguru’s moody words. He then went on and on about the summers he spent in Europe, Mexico, or Thailand. “Next time, let’s go together. You’ve got nothing tying you down now and-“ He frowned a little, perhaps thinking better of what he wanted to say, but continued, “We’re still friends, aren’t we? I know it’s been a long time, but I really missed seeing you.”
Suguru was quiet for a moment, chewing the inside of his lip. Why would Gojo want to be friends? “Even after what I did?” He finally asked.
Gojo’s smile was instant, placating, but not patronizing. He waved his hand around. “Doesn’t matter. It was a long time ago.”
“Okay. I guess we’re still friends then.” They’d never been just friends before. They’d skipped that part, gone right to dating and never looked back. Maybe being friends was what they needed now.
“So, where do you want to go on the trip?”
Suguru couldn’t help but laugh. It felt good. “I sort of thought first we’d try being friends before we commit to international travel.”
“Fine, fine. But seriously, think about it. It’ll be fun.”
Suguru’s initial panic over seeing Gojo again had dulled into a mild anxiety, tempered by his forcing himself to admit he did need more friends. He’d been lonely since the divorce and poured all his free time into reading and working off his dad bod. He’d considered dating again and even downloaded an app, but had never been able to stomach filling out his profile. Aside from his employees, there was no one he saw regularly. Shoko was always busy, not that he blamed her. Gojo might be a welcome distraction from how wrong things felt in his life sometimes, like he had no purpose and was just drifting until the inevitable end. Except for his daughters, he didn’t feel he had much to be proud of.
Outside the cafe, Gojo wrapped a scarf around his face. “Do you live around here?”
“No. Shoko works nearby. I’ll take the train back home.” His phone chimed, and Suguru looked down to fish it out of his coat pocket.
Gojo’s hand appeared in his line of vision, fingers reaching to brush his bangs back and tuck them behind his ear. “Happy birthday, Suguru.”
Suguru knew his face was bright red. He could feel the heat in his cheeks. Gojo’s fingers were cold as they slipped away. Suddenly, he didn’t want to let him go.
“Satoru.” It felt strange to say his name after so long.
“Hm?” Satoru turned back to him.
“Do you want to-“ He stopped himself, frustrated. No, he needed this. He needed one good thing today. “Do you want to go somewhere?”
The annoying grin that slid onto Satoru’s face made it clear he knew exactly what Suguru meant. “Oh, like where? Another cafe?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Do I?”
“Fuck. Never mind. I’m going home.” Suguru turned, fully accepting that he was too old for propositions and excitement after all.
Satoru caught his wrist in one chilly hand. “Come on, Suguru. You just have to ask.”
Suguru groaned, annoyed. “Do you want to go to a hotel?”
Satoru reeled him closer, leaning down a little and getting way too far into his space. “We haven’t seen each other in twenty years and you’re already asking me to fuck you?”
Suguru shoved at his chest. “Yes! Do you want to or not?”
“You don’t have to ask me twice. Come on.” Satoru pulled him to the corner and called a car on his phone. “My driver will be here in five minutes.”
“Where are we going?” Of course, Satoru would have a driver. His hand was still around his wrist, but Suguru didn’t pull away.
Satoru rolled his eyes, like that was the most ridiculous question he’d ever heard. “I’m not going to take you to some cheap love hotel on your birthday, Suguru. We have to go somewhere nice.”
Suguru noted that Satoru didn’t care if his driver knew he was going to a hotel with a stranger. Maybe he did this often. It wasn’t the sort of thing Suguru would do himself, but it had been a long time since he’d needed a hotel for anything other than sleeping alone, and Satoru had never known subtlety.
Twenty minutes later, they were in front of a huge, luxurious five-star hotel building. Satoru walked in like he owned the place -did his parents own hotels? Suguru couldn’t remember- and went straight to the front desk with Suguru trailing after him.
The penthouse suite Satoru led him to was opulent; far too nice for what Suguru intended to be a one-night stand. There was a sitting room with a view of the city, brightly lit and spread around them. The bedroom was through a door to the left, where a pristine white bed stood in the center of the far wall.
“I’m going to wash up,” Suguru called to Satoru, who was fiddling with his phone again. He padded through the bedroom and into the attached bathroom. He’d showered in the morning, but that was before the idea that he’d be having sex that night occurred to him.
Suguru wasn’t normally impulsive anymore. He planned things, and then he did things according to that plan. He had a daily routine and he was comfortable with it. Maybe it was boring, but it was familiar. However, he knew an opportunity when he saw it, and it was his birthday after all. Younger Suguru had never minded a one-night stand. He’d thrived on a little chaos now and then. That had been what he liked so much about Satoru. Maybe it was what Satoru liked about him, too.
He showered quickly after pulling his hair into a messy bun to keep it out of the water and pulled on one of the hotel bathrobes. No point in re-dressing, now that he’d committed to the current plan of action.
Satoru was sitting on the edge of the bed when he came out of the bathroom with a plastic convenience store bag beside him. “I had my driver get us some stuff. Let me shower, too, and then I’ll give you your birthday present.”
With Satoru gone, Suguru inspected the contents of the bag. Lube and condoms were to be expected, but there was also a can of cola and several snacks, both sweet and savory. Suguru felt bad for Satoru’s driver and wondered how often he was sent on these convenience store runs that made it even more obvious what was about to happen.
“So, how do you want to do this?” Satoru reappeared a few minutes later, face flushed from the shower and hair dripping onto the shoulders of his bathrobe.
Suguru tilted his head to the side. Part of him wanted Satoru to just push him over and take him, but he wasn’t surprised Satoru would defer to him now, after they hadn’t seen each other for so long. “Sit down.” He tipped his head toward the bed.
Satoru sat and Suguru sank to his knees, pushing Satoru’s legs apart.
“Shouldn’t I be doing this for you?” Satoru asked with a nervous chuckle. “It’s your birthday.”
“This is what I want for my birthday,” Suguru purred. He didn’t know where he was getting the confidence suddenly, but he didn’t question it. He needed this. He needed something nice today.
Satoru’s fingers stroked across his cheek and back to his hair, pulling him forward a little. Suguru let him, rubbing his cheek on Satoru’s bathrobe-covered thigh. He smelled like the hotel body wash.
“You don’t think it’s weird this is the first thing we’re doing after twenty years,” Satoru asked, voice strained. The tent in the bathrobe was becoming increasingly obvious.
Suguru shook his head. “It's the first thing we did when we met, isn’t it? You weren’t complaining then.”
Suguru had been pleasantly buzzed when Satoru finally approached him at that long-ago college party. In less than a half hour he was on his knees in some random upstairs bathroom with Satoru’s cock in his mouth. After, Satoru had pulled him onto his lap on the closed toilet and jerked him off as he sucked bruising marks all over his neck. Suguru thought that would be it, but instead, they stayed locked in the bathroom and talked for hours.
Despite his looks and the way girls hung all over him, Satoru was a nerd. He was only at the party because he lost a bet. He would rather have been at home playing video games, and he didn’t like drinking. Suguru’s opposite in so many ways. Satoru had never dated a man before, never even kissed one, until Suguru gave him a crash course. And yet Suguru found himself giving Satoru his number.
They saw each other again the next day and the day after that and the day after that. Suguru had never been in love. He’d never had butterflies in his stomach or felt his heart race over the thought of another person, but by the end of that first week, he knew it couldn’t be anything but love. He fell so hard and so fast for Gojo Satoru, who always laughed too loudly in public and said what he was thinking with no filter. Satoru was a rich, spoiled brat. He’d never done his own laundry or taken a city bus. There were so many reasons not to love him, but Suguru loved him anyway.
They were quickly inseparable. Satoru had an apartment not far from campus, and within a few months, Suguru gave up his dorm room to live with him.
It was no good to remember the past. Suguru wasn’t that hopeless romantic boy anymore. He just wanted to have a good time and go home.
He pushed aside the bathrobe to reveal Satoru’s rapidly hardening cock, flushed and eager for whatever treatment it was about to get. He took it in hand and gave it a few experimental pumps before licking up the underside and then swirling his tongue around the head, tasting the salty bitterness of Satoru’s arousal. Satoru moaned, hips jerking forward a little. Taking that as a good sign, Suguru didn’t hesitate to wrap his lips around the head and bob down a little. Did a gag reflex come back if you didn’t practice? If so, his clearly hadn’t. He went down further the second time, until his lips met his own hand, sucking hard before pulling off and working his tongue over the slit and around the head again.
“Fuck.” Satoru’s hand brushed over his hair, fingers tangling in the bun. “I forgot how good you are at this.”
“I guess it’s like riding a bike,” Suguru joked. “You never really forget how to do it.”
Satoru tugged at his hair again until Suguru looked up at him. “How long has it been?”
Suguru shrugged. He wanted to get on with it and get Satoru’s dick back in his mouth. “Well, I was married to a woman for twenty years. You do the math.”
“Shit. I bet you were so good at eating pussy, too. You’re so attentive.”
“I was. But you’re talking too much.” It was easy enough to shut him up again. It was easy to keep working him over with mouth and tongue until Satoru pulled at his hair more forcefully.
“Come up here.” Satoru patted his thigh. “I want to touch you.”
Suguru climbed onto the bed, thighs spread over Satoru’s lap. Satoru immediately tugged at the belt until the robe fell open, sliding off one of Suguru’s shoulders. Suguru didn’t have time to feel self-conscious because Satoru was already running his hands up and down his body. “Am I allowed to kiss you, or is this not that sort of thing?”
“Kiss me.”
Satoru didn’t hesitate. Their lips met once, twice, three times before he was licking into Suguru’s mouth, one hand on the back of his neck to hold him in place.
It felt good to be touched. Satoru’s affection had always bordered on worship. For all his jokes about Suguru being the second-most handsome, he knew Satoru in all seriousness had always put him first. Did he still? The bags under Suguru’s eyes had only gotten deeper and he knew he had a few grey hairs. There was what seemed to be a permanent crease in his forehead, probably from frowning too much. He hadn’t taken very good care of himself the last few years, gotten too far into his own head and back into bad habits.
Suguru pushed the robe off Satoru’s shoulders until he was forced to let him go to untangle his arms. He looked fit, still the type to wake up early every morning and hit the gym before work. Suguru appreciatively ran his hands over Satoru’s toned pecs, giving them a little squeeze and pinching his nipples until they were rock hard.
Satoru had his hands on Suguru’s ass under the robe, kneading it, fingers so close to where Suguru wanted them. Suguru let the bathrobe slide off and drop to the floor. Satoru’s hands slid up his hips and squeezed his waist.
“God, you’re so much thicker than you used to be,” he breathed, pressing kisses down Suguru’s neck. It sounded oddly like a compliment.
Suguru squirmed. “Don’t remind me.”
“I like it.” He emphasized this by digging his fingers into Suguru’s thighs. “You look so fucking good.”
Suguru laughed. “I let myself go after the divorce, but I’ve been working out a little the last few months. Should I stop?”
“Mm. Yeah. You must have been so cute. Chubby Suguru.” He nuzzled against Suguru’s chest. “I can’t believe you took your nipple piercings out.”
“I’m old. I don’t need nipple piercings.”
“They were so hot, though.” He nipped at Suguru’s nipple, releasing a pleased groan when Suguru’s body acted on its own, back arching and pressing closer to Satoru’s hot mouth. “Still sensitive, I see.”
“Shut up.”
He let Satoru play with his nipples for a few more minutes, sucking and biting until they were swollen and red. Satoru’s hair was soft under his fingers, cropped shorter than Suguru had ever seen it and shaved on the sides and back. Less to hold on to but still satisfying. Satoru moaned with every little tug, tongue pressing harder against Suguru’s abused chest.
When Satoru kissed back up to his neck, Suguru reached around him for the lube. Normally his endurance was pretty good but maybe because no one had touched him in so long he knew he wasn’t going to last and he at least wanted to get Satoru’s cock in his ass before he came.
“I’ll do it,” Satoru said, batting the bottle out of Suguru’s hand. “Let me do it.”
Suguru bit his lip. He should tell him. He should be honest. “Satoru.”
“Hm?”
“Go easy, okay? I haven’t-“ He hid his face against Satoru’s shoulder, suddenly embarrassed. What was he doing here fucking his college ex in a hotel on a weeknight? He had work in the morning. “It's just been a long time since anyone touched me there.”
“How long?”
Suguru ignored the question. “I use my fingers sometimes, but-“
“How. Long?”
Suguru sighed and squeezed his eyes shut. “Since the last time we were together.”
Suguru was not prepared for Satoru’s enthusiastic reaction. “Oh my god. Oh my god, Suguru. That’s so fucking hot.” He hauled Suguru higher on his lap with both hands on his ass, sliding their cocks against each other. “You seriously mean to tell me you haven’t let anyone else wreck your ass since me?”
Suguru’s hands clawed at his back, overwhelmed with the sensation of Satoru’s cock hot against his, his fingers digging into his flesh, his breath hot against his ear. “I- I told you-“ Suguru gasped. “I was married to a woman.”
Satoru snickered. “Sounds like you guys had a pretty vanilla sex life. She never got to know how kinky you can be.”
“Stop talking about her. I want you to fuck me.”
“Yes, yes.”
Suguru heard the cap on the lube pop open and a few seconds later, Satoru pressed a cold finger to his rim, circling around it. “Relax, baby. I’ll go easy on you this time.”
There wouldn’t be a next time, but Suguru didn’t say that because the next thing he knew, Satoru flipped them over and he was on his back on the bed. Satoru crawled over him, between Suguru’s spread legs and kissed him again like he was trying to devour him. Suguru wondered when the last time Satoru had kissed anyone was. Did he kiss everyone like this? Was it all part of his routine, along with the driver and the hotel?
Satoru’s finger pressed into him unexpectedly, the intrusion not unpleasant but unexpected. Suguru clung to him, rocking his hips to meet Satoru’s finger, begging for more as Satoru slowly worked him open. He kissed him and kissed him until Suguru was gasping for air, body strung tight and needy, barely aware that Satoru was now three fingers deep in him. He felt drunk, lost in the haze of pleasure he’d so long been denied.
“Satoru, that’s enough. I can take it.” He didn’t really know that, especially given the size of Satoru’s cock, but logic had disappeared somewhere around the second finger.
“I know you can. I know.” Satoru murmured, pressing soft kisses all over his face. He looked wrecked and nothing had even happened yet. His hair was sticking up in wild points and his face was flushed, ears red. It made Suguru feel better about his own desperate state. “But I wanna make you feel good. I’m gonna make you feel so so good, baby.”
Baby. Over twenty years later and Suguru didn’t even question the old familiar pet name, nor did Satoru seem to care that he kept saying it.
“Then don’t make me wait anymore,” Suguru said, his impatience winning out. He reached down and took Satoru’s cock in hand, stroking it as best he could with Satoru pinning him to the bed.
Satoru withdrew his fingers and sat back on his heels. His eyes roamed hungrily over Suguru’s body. Suguru felt good. He knew he wasn’t as fit as he’d once been, that his more muscular build tended to carry weight differently than Satoru’s lean frame, but the way Satoru looked at him, pupils blown with lust, made him feel gorgeous. It was almost comical how Satoru had to tear his gaze away to reach for the box of condoms.
Suguru took the opportunity to admire him in turn. Older, of course, but no less handsome for it, now firmly a man and no longer a boy. There was a smattering of freckles across his chest and shoulders that hadn’t been there before; maybe from all those years of vacations in sunny locales. His body hair was still fine and pale but there was more of it. Suguru idly touched Satoru’s stomach, tracing the path from his navel downward. It didn’t seem fair that someone could be so impossibly perfect and age so well. Suguru wondered what all their years apart had really been like for Satoru. Suguru had never dared to dream he’d see him again, let alone be fucked by him. He’d never even looked him up on social media to see what he was doing with his life.
Satoru rolled the condom on and poured a copious amount of lube over himself, spreading it with one hand until he was satisfied.
“You want to stay in this position?” He asked.
“Sure.”
“Okay.” He grabbed one of the pillows and helped slide it under Suguru’s lower back before settling himself between Suguru’s thighs again. They kissed again and it was soft and warm, wet lips sliding against each other as if they’d never been apart. Satoru moved to nuzzle against Suguru’s cheek as he lined his cock up and pressed forward a little, until just the head was inside.
It hurt. Maybe not as bad as the first time Suguru had ever done it, but the stretch was unfamiliar. Suguru bit his lip. If he could just bear it, it would get better.
Satoru stroked Suguru’s bangs away from his face. Suguru shuddered as he slid in further with the movement. “Hey. Do you want to stop?”
“No.” His voice sounded weak even to his own ears.
“Okay.” He pressed their foreheads together. “But you need to relax. You’re so tight I don’t think I could move if I wanted to.”
Suguru squinted up into Satoru’s brilliant blue eyes. He needed this. He needed it.
“Shhh.” One of Satoru’s hands ran up and down his side. “Just breathe. You’re doing so good, baby. You feel so good.”
“I’m just-“ Suguru gasped as Satoru rocked forward. “I’m just out of practice.”
“It’s okay. We’ve got plenty of time.”
Their lips slid together again. Suguru focused on Satoru’s tongue against his, on his soft hands holding him so gently. Some tiny part of his mind was screaming that this was all too intimate. Hadn’t he gone out of his way and spent half his life making himself not want this? Hadn’t he made himself not want Satoru before? All of his work -his lies to himself and others- was being undone with a few sweet words and kind touches.
“There you go, baby,” Satoru murmured against his ear, tongue flicking across the lobe. “So good.”
Satoru had never been one for patience in their youth. He’d never have hurt Suguru but he would have complained and whined about going slowly. Now he was rolling his hips with care, keeping the pace slow and steady until Suguru fully adjusted and showering him with praise while he was at it. Normally Suguru had been the talker, telling Satoru what a good boy he was and how big his cock was.
Admittedly, it was bigger than Suguru remembered. It had been manageable in his mouth but he knew his ass was going to be extremely sore in the morning. He wasn’t about to give Satoru the compliment and distract him from his campaign of sweet talk to Suguru though.
“More,” Suguru moaned, wrapping his legs around Satoru’s waist, pushing him with his heels.
Satoru did as he was told, moving slowly and then gradually faster when Suguru didn’t complain. Suguru held onto Satoru’s shoulders with one arm and reached between them with the other, jerking himself off in time to Satoru’s thrusts. He let his mind go blessedly blank of anything but Satoru against him, inside him, around him, and the feeling of his own hand against his flushed cock.
Satoru thumbed over his swollen nipple and Suguru tightened around him, all pain and discomfort forgotten. He heard Satoru chuckle, rolling his thumb over the nub again and again until Suguru came hard, his vision going fuzzy and his toes curling.
Satoru lay over him and smoothed his hair off his damp forehead again. He kissed his temples, his cheeks, his eyelids. It felt like he wanted to say something serious and Suguru was thankful when instead he just asked, “Can I keep going?”
Suguru nodded. He would have let Satoru do anything to him at that moment.
Satoru buried his face against Suguru’s neck, inhaling deeply, nose pressed below his ear. Suguru rocked his hips up to meet his thrusts, hands stroking his back, feeling the muscles jump as he moved.
“Good boy, Satoru,” he purred, rubbing his cheek on Satoru’s hair. “You’re still so good for me.”
The words had exactly the intended effect. Satoru’s hands tightened, his back tensed and he came, panting Suguru’s name. Suguru had to wonder if either of them had really changed at all.
Satoru kissed Suguru’s neck. “Happy birthday.”
“Get off.” Suguru pushed at his shoulders with a smile. “I want to shower again before I head home.”
“Stay over,” Satoru whined, but he pulled out and slid to the edge of the bed to dispose of the condom. “I’ve got the room for the night. Ijichi can drive you home in the morning.”
“Who?”
“My driver.”
Suguru sat up. There was already a dull ache in his back and his thighs were burning from being pushed in unfamiliar directions. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I actually want to sleep, for one thing.”
“We can just snuggle. I’m sure you haven’t changed so much that now you sleep better alone. You always liked having someone with you.”
Suguru sighed and pulled away. His legs were trembling but he made it to the bathroom doorway and hoped it wasn’t too obvious how unstable he was. “I’m going to go home.”
“Fiiiine.” Satoru flopped back onto the bed. “I’ll call-“
“No, don’t bother him. I’ll take the train.”
“Trains are about to stop for the night. You’ll never make it.”
Suguru took a deep breath. He couldn’t even say he’d walk home because he had no idea where they were. Rude as it might be, now that he had gotten what he wanted, he wanted to get away from Satoru. His emotions were too complicated to spill to someone he’d just fucked after over twenty years apart.
The idea of sleeping beside someone wasn’t without its appeal though. Suguru did like curling up beside someone else. He liked cozy mornings in bed snuggled under the blankets with someone. If the train wasn’t running anyway…
“We’re not having sex again,” he said flatly. “I’m going to shower and you’re going to call down to the desk and ask for a clean blanket.”
“Sure thing, boss.” Satoru did a little salute and Suguru closed the bathroom door so he wouldn’t have to see Satoru’s naked body; the scratches Suguru left down his back, the red marks that bloomed so easily on his neck.
His bun had long since fallen into disarray, so he let his hair down. Before the divorce he’d always kept it short and appropriate for office work but it didn’t matter anymore so he’d let it grow again. He combed his fingers through it before stepping into the shower for the second time.
What were the chances of meeting Satoru again today? If Suguru had believed in a higher power he would only have been able to attribute the meeting as the mischievous work of a god. Satoru was exactly what he needed in that moment. In the morning, Suguru would go back to his dull, plain life but at least he’d had a nice birthday after all.
———
Suguru woke as the sun was rising. Despite falling asleep on opposite sides of the bed, Satoru was now plastered against his back, arms and legs tangled around him like a giant koala. Extricating himself without waking Satoru was impossible, but he had to try.
Each movement he made only made Satoru cling on tighter and press his face more firmly against the back of Suguru’s neck.
“Come on, you big baby. I know you’re awake now,” Suguru said, squirming. “I need to get home. Don’t you have a job?”
Satoru untangled himself, groaning as he stretched his limbs all at once. “My first lecture isn’t til two. What do you even do?”
Suguru pulled his pants on and stumbled to the bathroom; fuck, his whole body hurt and they hadn’t even gone that hard. “I’m running the bookstore.”
“What?” Satoru sat up. “You were at the bookstore the whole time? How’s your aunt?”
“She passed away and left it to me.” Suguru frowned at himself in the mirror. The kiss marks on his neck were too obvious. He was definitely stealing Satoru’s scarf and getting some concealer. “I haven’t been there the whole time, only about three years, and only full time for the last two. I moved to Tokyo permanently after- after everything.”
The divorce had been amicable but left Suguru feeling like he’d failed in some way. He knew he’d been a good father and he’d really tried to be a good husband but when they parted Manami told him he needed to think about what he really wanted. He’d pretended he didn’t know what she meant. The guilt at wasting her time was nearly unbearable. She could have married someone better than him, with a better job or money and who would have loved her with all of his heart. As it was Suguru had only ever given her a part of himself. He hadn’t been fair to her.
“I’ll stop by sometime. There’s this kid I sort of take care of and he’s a real bookworm. He’d probably love your shop.”
“What kid?” Suguru poked his head out of the bathroom. “Who would leave a kid with you?”
“Two, actually. It was a favor for a friend but then he never came back for them. I wasn’t really home much then either but I paid the bills at least.”
It didn’t surprise Suguru that Satoru hadn’t stepped up as a father figure but just some wayward guardian. He’d never wanted kids the way Suguru had; didn’t even really like them.
“Well, tell him to stop by sometime,” Suguru said. “I’ll give him a discount.”
“Oh, so we’re going to see each other again.” Satoru grinned. “I thought you were going to tell me you just used me for sex and that was that.”
That was what Suguru planned to tell him in not so many words.
“We can be friends at least, can’t we?” Satoru asked, perhaps sensing Suguru’s thoughts. “We’re adults so whatever happened in the past is past and it doesn’t really sound like you have any friends here in Tokyo besides Shoko.”
“Just friends though.” Weak. Weak, weak, weak. But wasn’t that how he’d always been with Satoru?
Satoru’s smile was bright, the lines at the corners of his eyes crinkling. “Good. I put my number in your phone while you were asleep. I promise I didn’t look at anything else.”
“Satoru!”
“The Face ID still works even if you’re sleeping.”
Suguru closed the bathroom door. How was it possible to hate someone and be so fond of them at the same time?
Fifteen minutes later, he was cleaned up and dressed with his tangled hair braided to keep it in check. Satoru pulled on clothes and insisted on walking him downstairs.
“You sure you don’t want a ride?” Satoru asked for the millionth time.
“Some of us don’t mind taking the train,” Suguru said, pulling up where the nearest station was on his phone.
“I’ll see you around. Text me when you get home.” Before Suguru could back away, Satoru leaned forward and kissed his cheek, then scurried back inside the hotel.
Suguru was left alone on the sidewalk, suddenly too warm in his winter coat and Satoru’s fluffy scarf. He stared after Satoru until his heart stopped pounding, then turned and made his way to the subway station.
—-
did u get home safe?
its satoru
Shit. He’d forgotten to text him. By the time he got home, all Suguru wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep until he had to go to work.
I’m home. Sorry.
im really glad we met up yesterday
Me too
its not weird for you?
Suguru sighed. He didn’t want to think about it. It’s not weird. I could use a friend.
wow so honest
What made you come into the cafe? You could have pretended not to see me.
i thought about it but u looked so sad
I didn’t like seeing you like that.
Wanted to make u smile for your birthday
Birthdays had always been more special to Satoru. His family hadn’t celebrated when he was a kid, so his first party with cake and friends was after he started dating Suguru. His childlike glee for celebrations had carried over to Christmas, Suguru’s birthday, Valentine’s Day and any other holiday he could make some excuse to have a party for, even if it was just the two of them.
Thank you. It was nice to have someone to celebrate with
🎂🎉🎂
anything for suguru
Suguru’s heart ached. He was too old to let long dead feelings get to him. He remembered the touch of Satoru’s hands on his hair and reached up to push his bangs behind his ear again. This didn’t have to be anything. They could just be friends. Satoru might not be married but that didn’t mean he wanted anything. Suguru should just be happy to have him in his life again.
I’m trying to sleep. I have to be at work in a few hours.
cant break the rules just for today?
Nope
Ok I’ll text you later
Get some rest
—-
The bookstore was the place Suguru felt most at home. He spent summers working there with his aunt as a kid and had continued to work there when he moved to Tokyo for university. When she got sick a few years prior, she’d asked Suguru if he’d consider taking over ownership. She owned the building, which had an apartment upstairs. He’d split his life between the shop and his family living in Kyoto (where his wife’s family lived and where she wanted to move when they got married) for the first year, taking the Shinkansen back and forth every few days. The original staff stayed with the store; the manager, Hamada, could have retired, but she stayed on to help Suguru and keep the part-timers in line. After the divorce, Suguru moved to Tokyo permanently and took over the management of the shop, though Hamada still regularly came in to make sure he was doing everything right, even all these years later and after she claimed she was really retiring.
After grabbing a coffee from a local cafe, he opened the shop and began his Tuesday morning cleaning routine. He wiped down the counters and took everything out of the window display. With spring arriving, it would be good to freshen things up with some new titles and bright colors.
He ignored the burning in his thighs and the soreness when he bent too far. Maybe he did need to work out more. His ass hurting was one thing, but he hadn’t prepared himself for all the other aches and pains.
Partway through the morning, he got a delivery, and by lunchtime his part-timer had arrived to help. Itadori Yuji was a bright boy, if not a bit over-enthusiastic, but he could lift any box with ease, and while Suguru was in good shape, he left carrying things down to the basement to Yuji when he could. Yuji was a student and hadn’t picked a major yet, but hoped the bookstore would be inspirational.
“If you want to go out for lunch, I can take care of things here,” the boy said cheerily.
“I’ll just grab something and be back,” Suguru said at the same time that his phone rang. He glanced down at it, aware he’d made a rule about only answering emergency calls at work.
Yuji grinned at him. “You can take the call if you need to. I won’t tell the boss,” he joked.
“Very funny.” But Suguru took his phone out of the drawer and stepped outside.
“Suguru! Am I interrupting something?” Satoru said the moment Suguru answered the phone.
Suguru leaned back against the wall, just out of sight of the store windows. “I’m at work, but it’s not too busy.” Had he told Satoru about the bookstore? He couldn’t remember.
“Hey, well, if you’re not busy tomorrow night, do you want to come out to dinner with some colleagues of mine? Since you said you wanted to make friends.”
Suguru knew a lifeline when he was offered one. Less than twenty-four hours in his life again and Satoru was reaching out. It surprised him how forgiving Satoru was, even with the long passage of time to dull the hurt Suguru had caused. Suguru would have felt better if he’d been mad or demanded answers.
“I’ll come,” Suguru said, “if no one minds.”
“Invite Shoko, too, if she’s not working. I’d like to see her again.”
“I’ll tell her, but no promises.”
He could hear Satoru’s smile in his words, sunny and cheerful. “I can’t wait to see you. I’ll text you the location.”
“Okay.”
Suguru’s head thumped back against the brick wall. Part of him hated himself for saying he’d go to the dinner because he just wanted to see Satoru, didn’t he? He was glad to meet other people, but really he wanted to see Satoru.
Though Itadori ran the social media for the store, Suguru logged on that morning before work to search for Satoru’s name. He’d come across an Instagram page with photo after photo of exotic foods, sandy beaches, and Satoru with his arm around a different man or woman in every picture. No one consistently appeared. Never the word boyfriend or girlfriend. He felt stupid for looking and more stupid for feeling better about it. Satoru appeared to be living a rich bachelor lifestyle happily, working because he wanted to, not because he needed to. He didn’t need some washed-up, old divorcee clinging to him.
—-
“The Gojo Satoru? Wow.” Shoko took a sip of the coffee Suguru had bribed her with. “It’s just your luck I’m not working tomorrow night.”
They were at the small cafe just outside the hospital grounds. It was as far away from work as Suguru had seen Shoko in months.
“Thanks, Shoko.”
She waved her hand. “I kind of want to see him, too. We used to be pretty close back in college, before you two got mixed up.”
“Sorry.”
She shrugged. “We kept in touch til graduation, but then I had my internship and everything else, and I think he was glad for a clean break from anything that reminded him of you.”
“Sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.” She rolled her eyes. She’d been listening to Suguru’s apologies about everything for years. “It was a long time ago. Things are different now.”
“How so?”
“Well, for one thing, all of our brains are fully formed, which especially seems to be a failing in men. We’ve got jobs and lives outside of the little college circle. Everyone has grown, I hope.”
Suguru didn’t add how everyone else was doing better than him. Shoko was doing exactly what she’d always wanted to do; had the job she’d always wanted and seemed content with her busy life. Never married, barely even dated, but she didn’t seem to mind. Like Satoru, she chased after what she wanted. He didn’t say anything. Shoko would scold him for being a downer, and he didn’t want to force her to list off what she considered his good traits, which he knew she’d do.
“I think it might be good for you two to clear the air, too. I can tell the breakup is still bothering you.”
Suguru looked away. “It’s not.”
She continued, ignored the denial. “I think it’s been bothering you for decades, but you distracted yourself with work and family so you wouldn’t have to see what you’re missing. It's not really about Gojo.”
Suguru frowned, resisting the urge to get up and run out of the cafe instead of have this conversation. “It’s too late for that.”
“Oh my god, Suguru.” The eye roll this time was truly impressive. “It’s never too late. You’re the only one that thinks that.”
“My family-“
“Your father is dead,” she interjected. “Your mom has her grandkids. I’m sure Manami figured it out over the years you were together.”
“The girls-“
The look she gave him was scathing and accompanied by a deep sigh that said she was too tired to be having this discussion with him. But Shoko was his friend, so instead she said, “Geto Suguru, do you really think your two exceptionally open-minded, smart daughters who adore their father are going to be mad at him because he's gay?”
Suguru spun his cup around in his hands, lips pursed“No. But it feels like I’ve been lying to them their whole lives.”
“They probably won’t see it that way. You’ve just been lying to yourself. And it’s not like being friends with Gojo means you have to date him or any other guy, for that matter. Just might be nice for you to have a gay friend.”
“You don’t count?”
She shrugged. “Haven’t been on a date in like three years. Not really interested in trying either. So I wouldn’t say I’m the best influence.”
“Married to your work,” Suguru said.
“And she’s very demanding. Maybe I’ll retire and come work with you.”
Suguru managed a small smile. “I’d like that. Let me know when you’re ready. And, thanks, Shoko. I just have to figure some stuff out.”
She waved him off. “I have to get back, but I’ll see you tomorrow night.”
——
Satoru’s friends were an interesting mix. Among them was Nanami Kento, who looked reluctant to be there and was seated next to his boisterous partner, Haibara Yu. Suguru was glad to be sitting near them and not the supremely annoyed-looking music and dance teacher, Iori Utahime. Suguru couldn’t figure out why Satoru invited her since she didn’t seem to like him at all, until he learned it was at the last minute after he found out Shoko was coming.
Satoru sat between Suguru and Shoko. He kept leaning into Suguru’s space, reaching over him for things instead of just asking him to pass them. He’d always been like that; overly close and touchy- no personal space to speak of.
“So what do you do, Geto? Are you a teacher, too?” Haibara refilled Suguru’s beer from the pitcher without asking.
“No, no, I own a bookstore.”
“That’s so cool!” Haibara exclaimed. “I’d love to stop by some time. Do you have a section for children’s books?”
“I do. The neighborhood kids give me recommendations.”
“I work at a preschool,” Haibara supplied. He chattered about the kids, their parents and everything else. Suguru was happy to let him talk. It gave him something to focus on besides Satoru and Shoko laughing loudly beside him. Shoko was already a few beers in, but Satoru wasn’t drinking at all.
Not focusing on Satoru meant focusing on the happy couple in front of him, though. Nanami was quiet, interjecting with a fact when he could get a word in and also clearly trying to ignore Satoru. That Suguru could commiserate with. Nanami taught economics and also expressed interest in the shop. Suguru tried to explain that it wasn’t anything special, but the couple insisted he give them the address.
They’d been together a long time. High school sweethearts, Haibara said proudly. Which inevitably led Haibara to ask, “So how do you know Gojo?”
“We went to the same university,” Suguru said.
He could feel Satoru’s eyes drilling into the side of his face, waiting to see if he’d elaborate on that answer.
“We met again by chance the other day,” Suguru concluded.
Satoru groaned beside him. “So boring, Suguru. You can tell them we used to date. Back then, Suguru was my one and only true love.”
Suguru could tell Haibara was about to ask what happened, but Nanami elbowed him in the side.
“It was a long time ago,” Suguru said quietly.
“Suguru was pretty wild back then,” Satoru supplied. “He had piercings all up his ears and used to paint his nails black, fingers and toes. I’m really glad you never cut your hair,” he said to Suguru.
“I did.” He’d hated it. But part of playing the part of the model father was looking like one. “But I grew it back out when I turned forty.”
“I can’t imagine it. You’ll have to show me a picture sometime. You’ve got a few greys now, just here.” He touched Suguru’s temple.
“Don’t remind me.”
“I think they’re sophisticated. Maybe someday we’ll match.”
Suguru didn’t disappoint him by telling him that neither of his parents had gone fully grey, let alone white. He’d always envied Satoru’s hair, which he never had to bleach. On a whim, they’d dyed colored streaks into each other’s hair one time, and Suguru swore off bleach coming anywhere near his precious hair after that.
With a little alcohol in him, Suguru relaxed. It was easy to talk to Satoru, who was happy to ignore everyone else and turn toward Suguru for ther rest of the evening. Suguru completely forgot he was trying to ignore Satoru. It felt good. It felt normal.
Suguru had worked an office job in Kyoto, unable to find good work to support his family with his literature degree. Before the kids were born, he worked in a museum, but the pay had been too low, and with the twins, there was no question he’d have to set his dreams aside. He hadn’t counted on how much he’d love being a father and how much those girls made everything he gave up worth it. But working sixty hours a week and spending time with family didn’t leave any time for friends. He went out with co-workers when it was required, but never voluntarily. He clung to the moments he got with his girls or alone with his wife, and he didn’t think he needed anything else.
He hadn’t counted on the divorce. The kids would grow up, of course, they’d go on with their lives, but he always thought that would be when he and Manami finally got to do all the things they’d always talked about. Instead, she was doing those things with someone else. Suguru had been too busy to notice their marriage straining. And maybe he’d never loved her the way he should have, but she was his best friend for so long that the emptiness without her was unbearable some days.
So talking to Satoru felt healing. Suguru needed to pick himself up and start living again. Maybe this was the kick in the ass he’d been waiting for.
“I’ll drive you home,” Satoru said. “I don’t think you’ll make it on the train.”
Suguru blinked up at him. “What about Shoko?”
“Shoko left like twenty minutes ago,” Satoru snickered. “She even said goodbye to you. How many beers did you have?”
“Haibara kept refilling my cup,” Suguru complained.
When had everyone else left? He was alone with Satoru, and the restaurant was considerably quieter than earlier in the night.
“Come on.” Satoru hauled him to his feet.
Suguru stubbornly pulled on his jacket, though it felt tangled and unwieldy in his hands. It had been a while since he was drunk. Years. His face felt too hot and his hair kept falling into his eyes. Satoru paid the bill for the whole table, then led a very wobbly Suguru to the door.
The cold air outside hit hard, but Suguru’s hand felt so warm. Satoru held it, tugging him down the street to the parking garage. Suguru knew he should pull away, but excluding the mistake he’d made on his birthday, it had been so long since anyone touched him and he could use being drunk as an excuse. Pathetic. Really pathetic.
Satoru’s car was sleek and expensive, glittering silver in the low light of the garage. He held the door open for Suguru.
“What’s your address?”
Suguru gave it to him, watching as he typed it into the screen on the dashboard. A robotic voice said it would take twenty-five minutes to drive there.
Suguru leaned back in the seat, trying to enjoy the buzz and not think about the inevitable hangover. He was lulled into a doze by the lights flashing by outside and the soft sound of Satoru humming as he drove.
Before he knew it, Satoru was shaking him awake. “Come on, sleepy. Let’s get you upstairs.”
The familiar sight of the bookstore came into view when Suguru opened his eyes. Satoru stood beside the open car door with a plastic bag swinging from his fingers.
“When was the last time you drank? You’re a real lightweight now.” He followed Suguru up the stairs.
“I’m too old for this,” Suguru grumbled. “I noticed you still don't drink.”
“My body is a temple,” Satoru said. He took Suguru’s keys from his shaking hands, unlocked the door for him, and pushed him inside. “I got you some hangover stuff and a bottle of water. Do you need anything else?”
Suguru turned to look at him. His tall frame filled the doorway, nearly blocking the light from outside. He didn’t need anything. Satoru had already done so much just inviting him into his life when they hadn’t spoken in so long. He didn’t need anything.
“You can’t look at me like that.” Satoru’s voice was low, softer than usual.
“Like what?”
“Like you want me to kiss you. I think you’ll regret it when you’re sober.”
“Gojo-“
“Gojo? I’m not going to kiss some drunk who still calls me Gojo after I’ve seen him naked a hundred times. I saw you naked this week.” He handed Suguru the plastic bag. “Get some rest, okay? Don’t be late for work tomorrow.” He laughed and it sounded hollow. “Short commute.”
“I don’t need you to kiss me.” Suguru scowled and kicked off his shoes, not bothering to line them up properly. He stumbled into the wall and dropped the plastic bag with a thud.
“Oh yeah? You getting a lot of kisses from someone else?” Satoru tugged at the shoulders of Suguru’s jacket until it slid down his arms.
Suguru sniffled indignantly. “I don’t need your charity kisses.”
“Come on. Let’s get you in bed. I promise I won’t kiss you.” Holding Suguru’s shoulders he steered him down the hallway, poking his head into rooms until he found Suguru’s bedroom. “Sit.” He pushed Suguru down until he sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ll go get your water.”
Suguru dutifully drank the hangover remedy and half the bottle of water before flopping over onto the bed. “Next time, don’t let me drink so much. I’m too old for this.”
“So there’s gonna be a next time, huh?” Satoru pulled the blanket up around Suguru’s shoulders. “You didn’t mind my friends?”
“I don’t think I really talked to them much.” His eyes were getting heavy and he snuggled down under the blanket.
“Well, next time. I’ll call you in the morning so you don’t miss work.”
Suguru fell asleep. He didn’t see Satoru put a fresh glass of water on his nightstand. He didn’t feel the brush of soft lips against his temple or hear the click of the door as Satoru let himself out.
—-
“You seriously didn’t do anything on your birthday?” Nanako rolled her eyes with the scathing emphasis only available to teenagers. “You should have called us.”
“I figured you’d be busy with schoolwork.”
“We always have time for you,” Mimiko said, sliding her arm through his.
The girls loved visiting him in Tokyo. The spare bedroom in his apartment was exclusively set aside for them with two twin beds and the biggest closet in the apartment. When Suguru moved in, they’d been overjoyed to help him organize and decorate; Nanako told him in no uncertain terms that he would not live in a gross bachelor pad.
“I did run into an old friend that night, actually,” he admitted because he didn’t want to sound completely pathetic. “An old friend from college, back before I met Mom. And I was supposed to meet Shoko, but you know how that goes.”
Shoko had been in and out of the twins’ lives since birth, always invited but often missing holidays and birthdays because of work.
“What kind of friend?” Nanako took his other arm.
“This guy Shoko knew from the science department. We got into an argument and haven’t seen each other since, but we were sort of best friends before that.”
“Sounds serious. I hope you can be friends again. I do worry about you being alone in Tokyo,” Nanako said.
“I’m not alone,” Suguru grumbled defensively. “I’ve got Hamada and my employee at the store. And Shoko.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re really hanging out with your employees a lot,” she snarked.
“I see them almost everyday. That should count.”
The girls groaned in unison.
They got lunch at a local restaurant that Suguru liked. The girls sat across from him in the booth, and as they studied the menu, he wondered when they’d grown so much. Time passed quickly since they were born. It seemed like only yesterday he’d been rushing to meet Manami at the hospital, and now those same babies were at university and starting their own lives.
Nanako originally wanted to go to university in Tokyo, but stayed in Kyoto for Mimiko, who was the quieter of the two and needed her sister around. Nanako was outgoing and made friends easily. She had a bustling life, both in person and on social media. Suguru didn’t really get it, but she had 100,000 followers, so she must have done something right. Though Nana was the star, Mimiko helped her take photos and post content from behind the scenes. They made a little money from it, which Mimiko had explained to him, but Suguru didn’t really understand how that worked. He was proud of them though and encouraged it as long as it didn’t interfere with their studies.
Suguru let them talk. He missed living with them and seeing them every day. They texted, but it wasn’t the same.
“Maybe I can come stay with you for a few weeks during summer break,” Mimiko said as they walked back to Suguru’s apartment.
“Of course. You’re welcome here anytime. By yourself?”
She nodded. “It might be nice.”
Suguru was sure there was a reason, but he didn’t ask yet. She’d tell him when she was ready or otherwise Nanako would spill about whatever was going on. He loved his girls equally, but Mimiko had always clung to him a little more tightly. She’d always come to him with problems instead of her mother.
“You can help at the shop if you want, make a little extra spending money,” Suguru offered. “Speaking of money, I know you came to visit me, but if you want to go shopping for a few hours, I’m not going to stop you. I’ll make dinner later. How about that?”
Both of their eyes lit up and they hugged him in unison.
A text from Satoru was waiting when Suguru checked his phone a few minutes later.
wanna hang out?
They hadn’t seen each other since Suguru got regrettably drunk on a Wednesday night. The Thursday morning headache was enough to have him swearing off alcohol and he’d begged Hamada to open the store for him. Satoru had texted him to make sure he was alive and awake, but after Suguru confirmed that he was indeed alive, there was no follow-up and he’d been too embarrassed to text Satoru without reason.
Can’t
My kids are visiting
i want to meet sugurus babies
Maybe some other time
Surely you have better things to do
not really
There were a million things Suguru wanted to ask, like why Satoru had nothing better to do? Why hadn’t he settled down? Why didn’t he start a family? When was his last relationship and how long did it last? But it wasn’t any of his business. It really wasn’t.
If you’re free after school sometime this week we can hang out
It was the best Suguru could come up with.
yes yes ok 😸😸😸
will let you know
—-
“So when are you guys going to hook up again?” Shoko sounded tired, but that wasn’t anything new.
“We aren’t. What made you think that?” Suguru was taking another phone call at work. Itadori wasn’t there yet, but the shop had been empty all morning.
Shoko snorted. “Maybe the way you two did nothing but talk to each other and flirt the other night? You’re lucky I liked his friends, otherwise my feelings would have been hurt.”
“I didn’t-“ Suguru started, indignant, but she was right, wasn’t she? “Sorry, Shoko.”
“I’m aware the whole thing was probably just a cover to get you to come out anyway.” She laughed. “Get you drunk and flirty.”
“That’s not true.”
“He still wants you, my friend. You’ve still got it after twenty years. You should be proud.”
Suguru took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The hope her words sparked in him was truly pathetic. “I’m sure that’s not what it is.”
“I’m not going to say something stupid like destiny, but you are both completely unattached and still have feelings for each other after more than two decades.”
“I do not still have feelings!”
“Riiiight,” she drawled sarcastically. “But it’s kind of crazy it’s been so long and you two just picked things right back up, like you didn’t dump him on a sidewalk in public in broad daylight and run off with a woman just to prove to yourself you weren’t gay.”
Shoko always did have a way of cutting right to the point. She didn’t waste time on games.
“I like women, too,” Suguru mumbled, as if that helped.
“I’m sure you do.” Her tone was extremely condescending, but Suguru let it go. “I do, too. I gave my number to Gojo’s friend, the uptight one.”
Suguru laughed, glad to turn the subject away from his own love life or lack thereof. “I thought you said no more dating people in the arts?”
“Yeah, but she has a steady job, unlike the last one.” She blew out a heavy breath, which Suguru hoped was not because she was smoking again. “I’m just not interested in supporting someone financially. I’m too old for that shit.”
“Fair. Have you met again yet?” Suguru tucked the phone between his shoulder and his ear and began straightening items on the counter that he’d already straightened a thousand times.
“Not yet. Utahime said I need to work on my work/life balance, so maybe you two have something in common after all: nagging me.”
“I like to think we lovingly nag each other,” Suguru said, mildly offended. “And she’s not wrong. Honestly, giving up my office job for the bookstore has been really good for me. It’s still hard work, but it’s totally different.”
“I already told you you have to hire me if I quit,” she joked. They both knew she’d never quit. “But I suppose I could take more time off if I had a girlfriend.”
It was funny, Suguru thought, how Satoru had swept in and changed their lives again.