Chapter Text
I was nine years old when I met Charles Robert Sanchez-
A boy a year older than me with beautiful brown eyes and a god complex.
I later learned that Charles didn’t think he had a ‘god complex’ as I would call it. He actually found himself quite... ugly.
I called him Charlie.
He called me Bee, a nickname for Billy.
We became the best of friends.
He didn’t mind that the other kids would avoid me like the plague, and I didn’t mind that he had vitiligo.
We just... worked.
Like two peas in a pod.
But by the time I reached my teenage years, I had gained depression.
And Charlie had gained trust issues.
I got anorexia.
He got body dysmorphia.
I got bpd.
He got anxiety.
After nine years of knowing each other and three years of dating, he dumped me.
This... took a deep toll on me.
“Charlie, please, I’m begging you! I love you, Charlie! Don’t do this- don’t- don’t- Charlie?! Charlie please reply- I’m sorry I’m sorry! I’ll do better! I’ll do- I’ll do-“
Charlie hung up after the second don’t.
Of course he didn’t have the guts to tell the man he loved that he was dumping him in person.
And his reasonings?
Billy was too secretive.
And yes, this was true.
How is Charlie supposed to be with a man who won’t share anything with him? Not his past, not his wrongdoings, not his body. Not much at all. It’s not like sex is on Charlie’s mind a lot, he could probably go his whole life without having sex and still be fine. The issue is that Billy won’t show him his body. He rarely ever allows physical touch. That’s an issue for Charlie. How can Charlie love a man who won’t be vulnerable with him? How can he love a man who won’t let him hug him? Physical touch is his love language and it was hella tough dating Billy for 3 entire years.
“I’m sorry, cariño.” He whispers to the left side of his bed at night.
“I’m sorry, cariño.” He says to their shared cat, Prince, in the morning.
“I’m sorry, cariño.” He says quietly into the phone as Bee rants drunkenly about his love.
Both hold back tears.
“I’m sorry, cariño.” Charlie repeats,
Before he hangs up. He always hangs up after about 10 or 15 minutes of letting Billy rant at some insane time of night.
This happens at least once a week.
Has been for a year.
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