Chapter Text
The first time Leo woke up after the chaos, it felt like no time had passed at all. And in that sense, it also felt like nothing had changed. Again, he was hidden tensed under bed covers, eyes screwed shut and fists gripping white sheets.
It was difficult to think or feel at all, not that he wanted to. He hadn't done anything wrong - not once, not twice, not thrice either - but the reality he didn't want to deal with was that he had been punished regardless. Not once, not twice. But not even thrice.
The first time, they could sure make a case for it being his fault. He definitely wasn't innocent but he only did what he had to. So the first punishment made sense. At least why it was dealt, certainly not its severity.
He didn't know he would survive and didn't know how to feel about being separated. Was it wrong of him to keep watching everyone else? From his tiny quiet room where he could now see all of the secrets but had no power to help the rest of them. Them on the TV screen, wondering about the outside world and how much better it must be out there. Yeah, right... It didn't matter anyway. He couldn't leave the room even if he tried: watching was the only thing better than not watching.
Especially because of her though. Faith. Always aware of the security cameras watching, he was there to see it when she addressed the camera directly, asking who was behind it. And she asked whoever was watching...if they were bored. This many people, this dangerous a situation, she understood there had to be at least one person monitoring the cameras at all times, including the middle of the night. And wouldn't they be bored?
Did she know it was him? That he wasn't controlling them but could see them? Everything she said. The empathy she had for someone so cruel. The singing, the jokes, the storytelling. She wasn't doing it just because she knew what it was like to be bored, because she wanted to give the security guard something interesting to see, because she wanted something to take her mind off the murder? It was for him...right?
It didn't make sense that she knew he survived. How could she find out? She was clever, he knew that. Her wit and intellect were quicker than his fastest home runs, and she always had an air about her that felt like she knew a bit more than she let on.
So it wasn't really impossible, was it? Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but it gave Leo infinite comfort to think that there was someone else who was on his side, talking to him every night before bed. It couldn't be a coincidence that she only put on her show when he was free. He'd caught a glimpse of the TV very briefly throughout the day amidst his errands and saw her largely ignoring the camera, busying herself with other things. She made the commitment every night to stay up and entertain whoever was watching, and in turn, he made the commitment to lose sleep just to forget the hell he now lived through every day.
And that was perfect. While it lasted.
His second mistake. One day, she announced she was tired and would go to bed early. Something about needing to prepare or to conserve her energy for something. She told the camera that "you should probably get some sleep too. It's for your own good."
Was it really? It didn't feel it at the time.
What it felt like was a stab in the back.
Leo spent that night shouting and cursing at the TV. The screen displayed only footage of her in bed, fast asleep.
He didn't get a wink. Laid atop his covers, staring at the ceiling. Tossing and turning. Nothing.
The next day, she ignored him. And he didn't know what he did wrong. But after losing everything - his freedom, his dignity, his will to live - this funny little show put on every night was all he had. Now there was nothing. And he was sure it was somehow his fault and had no idea how to fix it.
This was the loss of his friend, Faith. But the next day he gained a new one.
George had made a mistake like Leo's and wound up presumed dead, like Leo. Stuck on the other side, nothing to do.
Leo didn't have enough energy to care about what George did. He couldn't say he was exactly a saint, and they were in the same boat anyway. No use fighting if there's nothing to gain.
But instead... He at least wanted to know one thing.
Before George's death was faked, he spoke to Faith in private. They spoke in low, hushed tones, careful to cover their faces from the cameras and not to let slip to anyone what was discussed.
"What did she say?" Was it anything to do with him? Did she say why she stopped speaking to him? Does she know that he's sorry?
"I can't tell you."
"Why not?"
"Seriously, man, I can't. I promised. It's a secret."
"Yeah, but they don't even know I'm alive. You can tell me, right?"
"No, it's- It's not a secret from them, it's a secret from..."
He didn't need to finish the sentence for Leo to understand: he nodded his head towards the exit. Their captors.
"Well then, why don't you just whisper it to me like you did with Faith?" But George just solemnly shook his head. "Really??"
"I made a promise. I'm not gonna tell anyone."
"Man..." One betrayal after the next, Leo gave up. He hadn't had enough sleep to waste his energy on arguing any further.
"... Can you at least just tell me if it's good news or bad news?"
"Dude. No."
"Fine..."
The conversation died and they brought their attention back to the TV. Faith was putting on a show again tonight, but if there were any hope that it was for either Leo or George, that had surely disappeared by now. It was definitely a show. Just...not too distracting of their reality. Leo sighed and turned the volume down.
The next day was explosive.
She stood up against their captors. Tried to make a deal with them. Gave a big speech about mercy and forgiveness, and said that she'd let them off the hook and never seek revenge if they just decided to free everyone peacefully.
Of course, they said no. But this was their last chance, she announced.
Faith explained that in three days time, she would break everyone out of the cruel game they were trapped in and kill the three security guards holding them hostage. She even showed that she knew all of their names. Solon. Magdelaine. Lucile.
"Ooh, you know our names, I'm soooo scared," called the voice from the speaker.
"Yeah, I bet you fucking are," Faith replied, poker face cold and voice steel. Hearing those words, Leo dared to hope.
The downside to this was that Faith said she'd be ignoring the all seeing eyes of the cameras until the third day came. But it wasn't so bad. Leo had George, and also, Faith was the only thing that the cameras broadcast from then on.
They imagined that it was because they were taking her threats seriously and were watching to see how she would escape. Strangely though, she didn't really do anything suspicious. Mostly, she just took care of George's friend Tao, who was grieving his apparent death. She took him on walks, distracted him, tried to get him to eat, sleep and shower. On the first day, she found art supplies and made flowers out of paper and some crochet, and placed them all at the beds of their deceased friends. The second day saw her doing lots of cooking and apologising to Julius, who she'd said the wrong things to in the heat of the moment. It was quite sweet seeing them make amends followed by baking banana bread together.
Things were quite peaceful for a while, and on the nighttime of that last day, she put on one last performance and sang and sang and sang and sang. Both Leo and George slept soundly then.
But again. Again, things found a way to backfire. They always do.
He didn't know why, but he had to kill in self defense. He didn't know why, but Faith had to stop talking to him.
He tried to know why, but he never found out why George never told him his secret.
The day of, everything went fine. Faith did it. She tricked their captors, distracted them, and found a way out. The three guards in the building were never found. She'd done it.
The others had gone free.
Thank God... Thank God they're free... They got out...
And God save our souls.
Maybe he should've expected it. He should've known by now that hope comes with strings attached.
"What did she say to you?" "Did she tell you about the escape?" "Did you have something to do with this?"
"George..." Leo pleaded. The two of them blindfolded, tied up in a room decorated with a variety of different weapons. "W-would you tell them that I don't know anything..?"
"Oh, no. You spoke to her too. You're both in on it, aren't you??" their captors cried. "You both knew this would happen. What did she say to you??"
"I- I didn't- But I just- I hardly spoke to her the whole time!"
"As if we'll believe that."
Leo was tied kneeling to a pole, only in boxer shorts. He knew George was in the same room, could hear his breathing. He begged, pleaded, screamed.
Please just tell them what she said.
I don't know anything. I really don't. It's you who knows. Just tell them, please. I don't know anything I don't know anything I don't know anything I don't know anything I
The thorned whips met his back. The lighters met the soles of his feet. The calloused hands met the soft flesh of his throat.
George said nothing.
...
"Leo... Leo... Leo..? Leo...?"
"..."
"I'm sorry..."
...
The second time Leo woke up after the chaos, he felt calm. There was only relief. He felt more awake this time, more aware of his steady breathing, less aware of the pain.
But this time he could open his eyes. Not much more than that but it was something. He was tucked up in a bed, covers pulled right up to his neck. A hospital bed, he gathered from context clues. Beeping sounds. A bedside table with IV bags and painkillers and other random hospital junk.
And across the room, the bed closest to him. George, watching him with face bruised and bloody, eyes sunken and tired, bandaged all over.
"Leo."
He looked back at George dimly. Gave a yawn and blinked.
"Leo." His voice was strained and forced, audibly difficult to get out. "... Leo... Leo."
"..."
"Leo."
"What."
"..."
If he had any energy, Leo would have laughed. For after all that, George again had nothing to say.
He almost fell back asleep waiting, but soon- "I'm sorry."
"..."
"I'm sorry, Leo... I'm so sorry..."
He blinked.
"I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry..." He could hear George's breath stutter and hasten with every apology. "I'm so so so sorry... I'm sorry, Leo...
"I'm sorry I never told you. I'm so sorry. I couldn't. I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't tell them. I couldn't. I'm so sorry."
Leo found the small strength in his arm to bring his hand up to rub his eyes. The bright lights buzzed. Tears rolled down George's cheeks past the fragile attempt his shaking hands made to hide them.
"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he sobbed, shaking his head.
"She told me- she- Faith said that- She told me everything- She-" He took a deep breath against the hiccups to continue. "She said that- that she would help everyone escape and- and she would- she wouldn't leave us behind. She- she told me not to tell anyone- that- she had friends on the inside-"
Leo just stared at the sterile floor as he listened.
"She- They- they came to save us. After. They- W-we're free. They came- to get us. We're here. W-we're safe."
George hiccuped and sobbed behind his bloodied hands. A series of "I'm sorry"s repeated.
"... Okay..." said Leo.
His breathing was steady. The pain felt far away and numb. His pillow was dry of tears. And George was with him.
"... Leo..."
"..."
"... Are you mad at me..?"
"..."
Leo said nothing.
...
The next day, Leo felt fully awake with no fatigue to slow him down. He found more strength, bit by bit, and managed to sit up on his own, talk to nurses, look around. He ate soup, showered and checked over his injuries. His feet were, well, useless for the time being. Soles black and charred. Towards the end of the day, he hopped in a wheelchair and listened to the nurses explain their situation as they gave him a tour of the building.
It was an underground bunker made to home refugees who'd been through the same as them. He'd gathered that this wasn't the first game of its kind when he'd been separated the first time, but the nurses explained further that Faith had already known that it was going to take place beforehand and volunteered to take part in it to try and take it all down from the inside. The bunker was inhabited only by Faith and her allies, so because it hadn't been lived in for long, they were still figuring things out and setting everything up for more people to come in.
Leo and George had travelled to the bunker by helicopter, but everyone else had to take the long way and would arrive tomorrow. He looked forward to that.
The last time he'd seen everyone else, they had found out that he was a murderer. Maybe when they saw him again they'd hate him, ignore him, throw him back out into the wild, kick him while he's down. But he'd at least like to see Faith again.
When he came back to his hospital bed, he turned the other way and slept with his back facing George.
He was up way before anyone arrived, nervous or excited, possibly both. He eagerly ate breakfast and patiently sat while the nurses replaced his bandages, though he found it hard to sit still.
When Faith arrived, she was unconscious.
She lay limp and motionless in the arms of someone he'd never seen before and was placed in the vacant bed next to him. Quiet now, ignoring him again. The entertainer, the jester, class clown, comedian. No words leave her mouth now, slack and lifeless, wired up to life support, heartbeat faltering on the monitor. No more jokes, no songs, no threats, silly stories or cheeky cartoon references.
Just silence...
Maybe it's better this way. Leo didn't feel ready to talk to anyone else yet and he felt a bit relieved when he realised he didn't have to talk to Faith because he didn't really know what to say. But it was better with her there. In front of him this time, in the flesh unflinching. Right next to him.
He could no longer worry that something might happen to her that he can't prevent. She was the only one who defended him when everyone turned against him, despite being the one that he had tried to frame for his crime.
The bunker was never quiet again, and a few more people also joined them in the hospital ward. Two girls and Tao, who took up the bed on George's other side. He could never find George alone after that, constantly joined at the hip to Tao, always together.
It was very quiet though for Leo. No one seemed to hate him like he thought. They were actually a bit understanding, but Leo grasped that it was mostly in the spirit of putting the past behind them more than anything else. To his delight, no one really spoke about the horrors they experienced and thankfully didn't ask him anything about what he went through when he was separated from them. He focused on recovering and exploring.
What he found the most difficult about recovery was being so dependent on others and no longer having the freedom to just walk out of a place he didn't want to be. That led to many nights of awkward silences with George. Nothing to say there. But every day he spent dangling his feet off the edge of the bed, never able to touch the ground with them, the more he itched to go jogging and running and racing again.
He tried to satisfy this need to move around by just getting used to the wheelchairs and touring the surroundings every day. It definitely helped to get his strength back up.
Leo had gone on another 'walk' and was completing his third circuit of the dorms when he heard George and Tao talking from behind one of the doors. George had been recovering very quickly and was soon back to his usual loud self. That man could never shut up before, and Leo felt a reluctant relief to hear him sound so much more like himself again.
"I don't know what to do. It's not like I'm good at these things."