Chapter Text
It was early September, the kind of lukewarm day that made the un-air-conditioned classroom humid and uncomfortable. It was the Monday after the big math test, and rumor had it the test had been brutal for almost everyone. Ruby shifted uneasily in her seat, fiddling with the pages of the old paperback under her desk: Les Fleurs du mal. She tried to steel her nerves. No matter how many times she told herself grades weren’t everything, she couldn’t deny the pang of dread in her stomach.
The teacher began calling names: a few students trudged forward and collected their test results. Sighs, complaints, some subdued relief. Then:
“Ruby Rose.”
A spike of embarrassment hit her chest. Rising from her seat, she took the walk of shame to the front and accepted the paper with trembling hands. She caught sight of the red marks splattered across the page: 52. She swallowed back her disappointment.
"Try to work a little harder next time."
She returned to her desk, heart pounding, eyes skimming the bright red scribbles. Around her, the sounds of quiet snickering mingled with sympathy from some classmates. She kept her gaze down, cheeks hot.
“Next—Weiss Schnee. As always, excellent work.”
Weiss stood, tucked a strand of immaculate white hair behind her ear, and moved with effortless grace to collect her paper. Ruby watched, heart fluttering. It was no surprise Weiss excelled in every subject. She came from a wealthy family—her father was a famous entrepreneur in town. But more than that, Weiss’s intelligence, her composure, her crisp uniform, and her unwavering confidence felt almost… otherworldly. While many admired her, to Ruby, she was something else entirely: a vision of elegance and moral purity, as if she walked off the pages of a storybook.
Ruby couldn’t recall exactly when the infatuation began. Maybe it was a year ago, when Weiss had patiently helped her study in the library, never once condescending. Or maybe it was the first time she heard Weiss sing at a school assembly. Ruby had been so mesmerized that she forgot to breathe. In her mind, Weiss was a beacon of untainted light in a bleak, ordinary town.
Just seeing her in class made Ruby feel safe, like the world was a place of shining possibilities. She wanted to be good, to be worthy of someone like Weiss noticing her. Like a poet longing for an angelic muse.
As Weiss returned to her seat, she settled in smoothly, then—unexpectedly—glanced Ruby’s way. For a brief second, Ruby froze, her breath catching in her throat. Then, to her utter shock, a soft smile curved Weiss’s lips—brief, but unmistakable.
Ruby’s face burned as she immediately looked away, her heart pounding. Our eyes… our eyes met!
The teacher cleared his throat and spoke again. “Cinder Fall.”
Ruby turned her head slightly. A figure slouched behind her: tall, dark hair pinned back, with a few strands curling around her face. Cinder’s amber eyes flicked up as if the world were an annoyance she had no patience for. Slowly, she stood, crossing to the front.
He held out the test. “Cinder,” he said, voice wary, “this is the worst score in the class.”
Cinder didn’t even glance at the paper. “So?” she drawled.
His face reddened. “So,” he echoed, “perhaps an explanation? Have you been studying at all?”
“Shut up, shit-worm,” Cinder snapped without skipping a beat. The whisper of uneasy laughter rippled among a few classmates, but most averted their eyes, refusing to witness the blatant show of disrespect.
A hush fell over the class. Nobody spoke to a teacher like that. Ruby’s mouth went dry. The tension in the air was immediate. But Cinder didn’t appear fazed. She stared at the teacher, who was spluttering in a mixture of shock and fury, and gave him a crooked, scornful grin. She walked back to her seat, dropping into it with a casual arrogance that left the entire class stunned.
Finally, he cleared his throat loudly. “...Come to the office after school.” He shot her a furious glare, but she only shrugged. The tension gave way to hushed whispers as the teacher moved to the next name.
Ruby looked down again, mind spinning. She’d never paid much attention to Cinder before. Even though Cinder sat behind her, Ruby didn’t interact with her. Most people avoided Cinder; rumors about her were always swirling—she came from a troubled home, she had altercations with teachers in the past, she was on the verge of dropping out. But she never got expelled; the principal always gave her one more chance for some reason. Perhaps she had a powerful family or some complicated situation behind the scenes—nobody was certain. Ruby didn’t know, nor did she want to. I just need to stay out of her way, she thought.
-
By the time classes ended for the day, Ruby was more than ready to leave. Shouldering her backpack, she walked alongside her group of friends, blending into the stream of students heading for the exit.
“What’s her deal?” one of them muttered.
“Huh?” Ruby blinked, distracted.
“That girl, Cinder. She’s crazy. No idea what the hell she’s thinking.”
Ruby’s grip on her backpack tightened. “Yeah…” she mumbled.
“She doesn’t have any friends, does she?” another friend added. “Creeps me out.”
Ruby didn’t respond. She just kept walking, hoping the conversation would move on.
Luckily, the topic shifted to more familiar ground—crushes, dates, fantasies. Ruby had just started to tune them out when someone brought up Weiss.
“Now, Weiss Schnee? There’s someone I’d want to take out,” one of them declared.
“Maybe she’s a freak if you actually get her alone,” someone snickered.
Ruby’s stomach clenched. “Shut up!” she snapped, sharper than she meant to. “You can't talk about girls like that.”
A beat of silence passed before they exchanged glances. “What’s the big deal? It was a joke.”
“You sounded pretty defensive,” another friend said, eyes narrowing with a knowing glint. “You got a crush on her, Ruby?”
Heat shot straight to Ruby’s face. “Wh-what? N-Hell, no! I just...”
They laughed, tossing a few playful jabs her way, but Ruby could barely focus. Her thoughts were already spiraling—equal parts frustration and something far more embarrassing.
Then, just as she thought she’d escaped the conversation, a horrible realization struck.
“Oh no,” she groaned. “My book! I left it at school! I'm gonna go get it.”
Her friends rolled their eyes. “Sure you did,” one of them said, smirking. “Running away, huh?”
“No! I really did leave it!” Ruby insisted. “I swear.”
“Fine, go,” another sighed, waving her off. “Hurry before the janitor locks it up.”
-
She jogged through the empty halls, her footsteps echoing against the linoleum, anxious to retrieve her beloved book before it was lost or stolen. Eventually, she reached the classroom door, which remained slightly ajar.
Inside, the lights were off, curtains partially drawn. She found her desk and let out a relieved sigh—there it was. The Flowers of Evil, still in the small compartment beneath the desk. Relief flooded her as she scooped it up and clutched it to her chest.
Then she noticed something else, near the back row: a small, neatly folded white bag adorned with delicate floral patterns. She approached, curiosity pricking at her. On closer inspection, a tiny embroidered patch on the strap spelled out a neat name in silver letters: “W. Schnee.”
Her heart thudded in her chest. Weiss must have forgotten her gym uniform. Ruby’s mind spun: she knew she should walk away. But an impulse blossomed out of nowhere—an intrusive thought that demanded her attention. Her mind flashed to Baudelaire’s words about hidden darkness lurking in every soul. This isn’t wrong, she told herself. I’m just going to do the right thing—give it back.
She bent down, intending to pick up the bag, but an odd, prying curiosity seized her. I wonder what it smells like… The thought was horrifying—and yet her fingers acted before her brain could stop them. Her hand slipped inside the bag, pulling out the folded uniform. Stop! She tried to tell herself. This is wrong! But her heart hammered, blood pounding in her ears, drowning out any sense of logic. The cotton fabric of the gym shirt felt strangely soft between her fingers. A sense of shame burned hot in her stomach.
A sudden noise echoed in the hallway—footsteps. Without thinking, she shoved the gym uniform into her own bag. Her face burned, and her mind screamed protests that this was insane, disgusting, perverted. She whirled around, nearly tripping over a chair in her rush. She made it to the hallway and bolted down the corridor.
By the time she got home, a deafening roar of shame echoed in her head. She holed up in her room, the walls feeling both suffocatingly close and yet not enough to hide her. Setting her bag down, she pulled out the uniform with trembling hands. The moment she saw it, the enormity of what she’d done crashed over her. She felt sick. This was Weiss’s property—Weiss, the girl she admired, the girl she practically worshiped from afar. And now Ruby had done something truly horrible, something that spat in the face of the ideals she cherished.
She flung the uniform back into her bag, almost wanting to throw it out the window. She sat on the edge of her bed, burying her face in her hands, ignoring her mother’s faint call from downstairs about dinner. She didn’t want to face anyone.
“What kind of degenerate am I?” she whispered to herself. Hot tears pricked her eyes. “Weiss… I’m sorry.”
She felt the weight of a guilt she had never experienced before in her life. Nothing to do now but shake, cry, and choke on her own private shame.
That night, Ruby sat in her bedroom with all the lights off. The glow of her digital clock read half-past midnight, but she couldn’t sleep. She had pulled Weiss’s gym uniform out of her bag, and hid it in her closet, folded neatly. A roiling shame made her face burn.
“Why…?” she whispered to nobody. “Why did I do this?”
Because a part of her had wanted to touch something that belonged to Weiss, to feel connected—no matter how wrong. Now her guilt made her want to tear her hair out. In her chest, an ocean of regret churned. I’ll return it tomorrow, she decided, hugging her knees to her chest. But how would she do that? She couldn’t exactly slip it into Weiss’s locker; that would just raise suspicions. And she could never openly admit what she’d done. That would be social suicide, not to mention humiliating for Weiss.
The condemnation in her own mind thundered. She felt dirty, despicable—some hidden pervert who betrayed the admiration she claimed to hold for Weiss. She sank her head down, burying her face. She was already envisioning tomorrow, the thousand ways she might be discovered.
In the darkness of her room, the lines from Baudelaire’s poems seemed to echo in her memory, swirling with all their talk of beauty ruined by darkness. Am I proof that everything pure eventually gets tainted by some hidden rot? She swallowed hard, tears burning behind her eyelids.
-
The next morning arrived with Ruby hollow-eyed and dreading school. She’d barely slept, haunted by nightmares of Weiss discovering her and spitting venomous words in horror. In the kitchen, she picked at her breakfast before biking to school, each rotation of the pedals feeling heavier than usual.
Her anxiety exploded into full-blown panic when homeroom began. The teacher cleared his throat and addressed the class in a somber tone: “Before we start today’s lesson, there’s a regrettable matter we need to discuss. It seems that Miss Schnee’s gym uniform was stolen yesterday. If anyone has information regarding this incident, please come forward. The faculty is taking this seriously.”
Ruby slumped in her seat, sweat beading on her forehead. She felt as though every set of eyes was drilling into her.
She risked a glance at Weiss.
Weiss sat stiffly, her hands clasped tightly in her lap, her usually poised expression dangerously close to crumbling. Her lower lip trembled ever so slightly, and her wide blue eyes shimmered with barely contained emotion. She looked shaken—violated, confused, and on the verge of tears.
And it was Ruby’s fault.
The whispers started even before the teacher wrapped up his announcement.
“What kind of pervert steals gym clothes?”
“That’s so gross.”
“Ugh, seriously. Someone here’s a creep.”
Ruby forced her gaze down, feeling like she would vomit on her desk. The day that followed was a surreal haze. She barely heard her teachers’ lectures. Lunchtime came and went, her appetite destroyed by guilt. A few of her friends asked if she was feeling okay; she just nodded, lying through her teeth. She couldn’t bring herself to talk to anyone. By the time the final bell rang, her nerves were so frayed that she could scarcely breathe, let alone concentrate on anything.
She hopped on her bicycle and sped through the afternoon traffic, heading away from the main streets, away from anywhere that might be crowded with students from her school. She didn’t want to face any of them. She told herself she needed to figure out a plan: how to return the uniform secretly, how to atone for her transgression. But in truth, she had no plan. She just wanted to run, as far as her wheels would take her.
As she pedaled up a small hill, her breath ragged, she gritted her teeth, tears threatening to blur her vision. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for this,” she said to herself. “I’ll do anything to make this right.”
She cut through side streets, across a narrow bridge spanning a shallow river, and then out toward the foot of the hills where the roads sloped upward. The houses became fewer, replaced by patches of trees and old farmland. The sky overhead was tinged with the orange glow of late afternoon.
“All this… all this is so small,” she muttered under her breath, gaze sweeping across the sleepy town behind her. Everyone here will know what I did if it ever comes out. I’ll be branded a deviant forever. Weiss will hate me. Her chest tightened, an ache that nearly choked her. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, but there was no one to hear her.
That’s when she spotted a lone figure standing by the side of the street, leaning against the concrete barrier with her arms crossed. Ruby recognized the black hair, the sharp eyes, and the defiant stance almost instantly.
Ruby barely had time to react before Cinder stepped forward, blocking her path with an almost lazy confidence. The strange smirk on her face sent a prickle of unease down Ruby’s spine.
"Ruby. What are you doing?" Cinder asked, her voice smooth but undeniably curious.
Ruby gripped her handlebars tighter. “Uh… Nothing! Just going to the bookstore. Bye!” she blurted, hurriedly trying to steer past.
But Cinder wasn’t finished. “Hey,” she called, tone shifting slightly. “You’re always reading books. Why?”
Ruby stiffened. The question caught her off guard. She hesitated, unsure if she even wanted to answer.
Cinder continued, unfazed by Ruby’s silence. “And they’re always weird ones that nobody’s heard of. Are they good?”
Ruby’s heart skipped. “H-How do you know…?”
Cinder gave a half-laugh, tilting her head. “’Cause I sit right behind you.”
Oh. Ruby’s breath hitched. She hadn’t realized Cinder had paid her any attention, let alone enough to notice what she read.
“I don’t know if ‘good’ is the right word…” Ruby admitted, voice quieter now. She glanced down at the book peeking from her backpack. “I just… books changed my life. I guess not everybody would understand—”
Ruby barely had time to process what was happening before she felt the sudden weight shift behind her. Without warning, Cinder had hopped onto the rear part of Ruby’s bike, settling herself with a casual ease that sent Ruby into a panic.
"Hey, what—what are you doing?!" Ruby sputtered, twisting around as best she could.
Cinder’s smirk deepened. “Carry me past that mountain," she announced, pointing at the winding road that rose into the distance, climbing over the small mountain range that surrounded the town.
Ruby gawked. “Huh?! Why should I?!”
“Why?” Cinder repeated, feigning innocence. “Because I want to go.”
“That makes no sense! Listen, I need to get home—”
Before she could finish, Cinder’s hands slid firmly around Ruby’s waist, steadying herself. Ruby froze, her whole body tensing at the unexpected contact.
Cinder leaned in slightly, her voice dropping to a soft, almost amused murmur. “Ruby, you know what? I saw you.”
Ruby’s breath hitched. “W-what?”
“I saw you steal Weiss’ gym clothes.”
The world seemed to tilt beneath her.
“If you don’t want me to tell,” Cinder continued smoothly, her grip not loosening, “you better get moving.”
Ruby’s mind spun, adrenaline rushing through her veins. She could practically see her entire future shatter if Cinder revealed her secret. Everyone would know she was the thief who stole Weiss’s gym uniform. Weiss would be horrified, the teachers might expel her for such blatant misconduct, and her friends—and the whole town—would brand her a pervert. The thought made her stomach cramp. Yet the idea of being blackmailed by Cinder, of having to do whatever Cinder wanted just to keep the secret under wraps, felt equally suffocating.
Tears pricked Ruby’s eyes as her emotions swirled—a chaotic mix of shame, hatred, fear, and a sickening guilt that refused to let her pick the “honorable” path of confession. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to gather the courage to move. But something inside her snapped. The stress of the past day, the sleepless night, the claustrophobic sense that her world was caving in, all detonated in one violent moment.
“I… I can’t!” she shouted, voice cracking. Her heart hammered. She flung one leg over the bike and stumbled away from it, nearly tipping it over in her haste. With an anguished sob, she turned on her heel and bolted down the sidewalk.
She ran until she was out of breath, her chest burning, her bag slapping against her back. She didn’t dare look back. She had abandoned her bike, but she couldn’t possibly face Cinder again, not right now. All she wanted was to bury herself somewhere—anywhere—and never come out.
When she finally stumbled home, cheeks hot and tear-streaked, she rushed up the stairs and locked herself in her bedroom. Her mother called her name from downstairs, worried, but Ruby pretended not to hear. She stood in the center of the room, hugging her arms as though they could keep her from falling apart. Everything felt wrong: her stupidity, her obsession with Weiss, her mortifying theft, and now Cinder’s blackmail. She told herself she should own up to it, go to the teacher and confess everything. But the thought of the entire school—and Weiss—looking at her in disgust paralyzed her.
Her eyes flicked to The Flowers of Evil, which she’d dropped on her desk in her panic. She recalled lines about sin, about society’s judgments, about the roiling turmoil in the human heart. She had never felt so intimately connected to those dark, poetic laments. Baudelaire wrote of hypocrisy, shame, and the allure of the forbidden. Now, Ruby felt that shame coursing through her veins, a stain that wouldn’t wash away, no matter how much she scrubbed.
She pressed her hands to her temples, trembling. Cinder’s words echoed in her mind. She wondered if her secret would be exposed to everyone, destroying what little dignity she had left. She wondered if there was any hope for redemption, or if she was simply doomed to face the consequences of her actions.
All she knew was that, at this moment, she had never felt so trapped.