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The sheets are softer than her's at home and smoke is still lingering on the ceiling, dispersing with every passing second. Her heartbeat, which she attempted to ignore but ultimately succumbed to, is throbbing in her chest.
She distracts herself with exactly three things in the room: postcards depicting a marmor built school, topped off with clashing neon stickers, the partially rotting cactus set out on the window sill and the low music now turned off (of course it's turned off).
Caitlyn's eyes start burning whenever she isn't looking at Violet. Violet, who is standing with an ashtray in her hand, pushing the butt of her finished cigarette into the ceramic. Violet, with tattoos raining down to her forearms, kissing around her neck.
Violet, who she wants to take into her mouth and never let fade. Caitlyn is lying on the bed and propped up on her elbows, pushing out her chest so her breasts, covered by a shirt, no bra, are on display.
When Vi turns around, she gives her a sweet smile, sparing a quick look at her cleavage.
“You look good today.” Caitlyn says. Vi doesn't react, once again her back to the bed, but Caitlyn knows in this silence that she's affected. “You always do.”
Vi hums the tune that had already passed several minutes ago and shoves the tray into a drawer, the sun crawling through her burgundy strands and settling sparsely on Caitlyn's body.
“You're so greedy, Kiramman.” She does a quick motion to stretch her shoulders before turning to her, still very amused, lingering somewhere in the breath Caitlyn isn't able to take.
“Don't you like ambitious women?”
Vi's crescent lips grow wider. She makes her way crawling up to Caitlyn who fully lies down on the bed, her hands grasping Vi's shoulders.
God, she almost pushes her hips up simply from the desperation snarling in her legs and she missed this so bad. Vi kisses her cheek and nuzzles into her neck.
“I like ambitious you. I only like you.” She says, and maybe she doesn't mean it, maybe it's just what happens when Caitlyn comes back to town after months and hugs her for a little longer than she's supposed to. Messages, a few calls, but nothing is ever going to beat this. So it might be intoxication, but Caitlyn can't care enough now as Vi laps at her skin, up to her jaw, unfazed by the bitter taste of her perfume.
“Good ol’ times.” Vi adds, her body slotted into Caitlyn's, the rough material of her jeans pressing against her bare thighs. Her skirt has risen up to her hip bones and she's already overwhelmed.
Caitlyn's moves one of her hands up to Vi's face, past her cheek and to her lip, where her thumb is taken into a warm mouth that she knows but not enough, not like this, not with this kind of fidelity.
Vi sucks on her finger and kisses it until she's either bored or too turned on to stay here. Caitlyn feels her pulse simultaneously pound at her ribs and in her abdomen, and she thinks Vi might feel it too in both places within her.
Sliding down a bit, Vi takes hold of her waist with the entirety of her large hands, the beads of her bracelets rubbing against the fabric of her shirt. With no warning, she puts her mouth to one of Caitlyn's nipples, toying with it until there's a visible ring of saliva on her shirt. Her back arches instinctively and Vi's weight is holding it down. She whimpers into oblivion and gasps when one hand takes her unoccupied breast and properly grips it, spit gathering in her mouth with the shear wave of arousal that hits her.
She puts her hand (nails manicured - something her mother always insists they have to do when Caitlyn returns, and one of the rare times they resist going off on each other) into Vi's hair and tries to believe that she's not submitting to this, every time, all the time. She lets her neck roll back a bit and closes her eyes, breathing unsteady.
“Love these so much,” Vi says as she leans out, pressing a kiss to both of her breasts. “One day I'm gonna make you cum just from playing with your tits, Cait.”
“Vi,” She says, not yet opening her eyes. “You are crazy.”
A hum of agreement, maybe a taunt. “Look at me, c'mon.”
When she's back, Vi is eye-to-eye with her again, running her fingers through Caitlyn's open hair. She puts a kiss to her lips and that's death. That's where Caitlyn goes down.
“How do you want me, hm?” A kiss to her jaw.
Caitlyn doesn't feel like replying yet. She wants to stay here a moment, wants to still be sane for a moment before Vi takes that from her too. She grasps Vi's head and pushes her back in for a kiss, too impatient to wait so she pushes her tongue into the heat of her mouth, past her teeth until they meet.
Vi moans, trying her best to keep up. When Caitlyn leans out, she's rocked with something too.
“You gotta tell me, Cait. I've been thinking about it all week and I need to fuck you, baby. Please.”
Hits every spot. Gets her wet. Gets her going.
“Go fetch it.” Caitlyn breathes onto her lips, grinning. She feels Vi's emotions shatter through her as her mouth goes agape, her hands squeeze Caitlyn's hips and she takes a while until she gets up, walking to her closet.
This tight room. Caitlyn legs are beginning to shake from very little (impressive) and she's trying to memorize the husky taste of Vi's cigarettes.
She sits up and begins to strip just as Vi turns and walks to her again, the look of astonishment on her face loud and pretty.
Upper body bare, safe for a necklace with her birthstone. Vi puts down the harness and just looks at her, which makes Caitlyn flush.
“Let me undress you.” Caitlyn says as she peels off her skirt and gets up from the bed, standing before Vi, who puts her hands to the side of her ribs and just takes her in, giving her some sweet laughter for the little bow stitched into the front of her underwear.
When it's all silent again, Caitlyn takes the hem of her shirt and Vi lifts her arms, the fabric sliding off with little error, practiced after all, and Caitlyn makes her turn around so she can unclasp her bralette.
Vi's back tempts her with even just the little movement she triggers, inked skin molding after muscles. She has touched herself just to the image of it before, and that's a secret she's going to keep for now.
Once that's done, they face each other again and Caitlyn leans in for a short kiss. She works her hands down from her abs to the button of her jeans, which pops open in one satisfying sound and she unzips with regained patience, Vi doing the rest of it as she slips out of the denim.
Her body, defined by a loyalty to herself and an effort that Caitlyn adores her for, unravels beautifully and Caitlyn stands between crying and laying them down on the cold wooden floor and clinging to Vi until she tumbles over.
“Everything okay, Cupcake?” Snaps her right out of it. She nods and presses their bodies together, her arms cuffing around Vi's neck as they make out, no coordination, two hands roaming her back and hair. Vi could undo her entirely. Play her like a cello.
“I love when you call me that,” Caitlyn finally admits, after years, and that is a confession in and of itself. Vi chuckles as they continue kissing.
“Change of heart?”
“Less stubborn.”
“Mhm,” Vi draws. “That's sexy.”
She puts both her hands to the back of Caitlyn's thighs and with a supporting little jump she wraps around her, her body splayed down on the bed again while Vi begins to slide out of her boxers.
Naked, finally. Caitlyn lets the summer heat envelope her body.
Vi, haphazardly, makes her way into the harness and adjusts the size until it fits. Caitlyn watches her, lets the perversion not pass by but through her, and she almost puts a hand into her panties but resists to honor the woman that has been very enthusiastic about giving her the sex she needs.
The scene unfurls before her: Vi gestures for her to take her underwear off and she does, moves across to the nightstand to grab some lube, smears it over the dildo because she wants Caitlyn to always feel above it all.
Her stomach clenches and unclenches remembering the first time they tried the strap-on, igniting a new and deeper sensation, Caitlyn's face in the pillow as she was breathlessly asking for more. Vi had enjoyed every second of it, came just from the little friction she got and the look on Caitlyn's face as she looked back at her.
“Did you use it with other girls while I was gone?” She asks, not opposed to the idea of Vi's indulgence and, admittedly, turned on by the idea of her fucking other girls. That's something she's going to have to unpack later, in the solitude of her childhood bedroom.
“Nah,” Vi says, rubbing her nose. “I didn't fuck anyone, actually.”
“Vi,” Caitlyn says, a poignant flood swerving through every crevice of her being. “Are you being serious?”
“It's not like,” She interrupts herself, a bit bashful. “I'm not doing it on purpose, I think. And there were people interested in me.”
She looks directly into Caitlyn's eyes for the next words: “But they're not you.”
Too much, an implosion in her belly. She starts breathing harder.
“Vi, let me fucking ride you right now.”
In a smooth, prosaic moment, Vi is sitting against the head of the bed frame, chest lifting with anticipation. Caitlyn crawls closer to her and kisses her lips, leans out, watches as Vi tries to lean in for another. She puts a hand around the dildo and strokes it once, letting Vi become a voyeur to her own body.
“Tell me, what's it like to have sex with me.” She says, beginning to climb Vi's lap until their bodies are pressing together, the toy brushing barely against the small of her back. Vi pets her thighs, kissing the area of and around her throat.
“Okay,” Vi exhales, looking back up to her as a temporary calm overtakes her. They're both sweating, and it feels like god is twirling around with the already-gone smoke.
“You know me, I know you. In this room, nobody knows me better than you do. I like to think it's the same for you.”
One hundred percent. Forever.
“You make me feel real important, because you give me your body, your body, Cait — and trust me to get us somewhere. And I trust you with that, too.”
Caitlyn brushes the subtle sleep from her eyes. And Vi puts her hands to her ass, squeezing the flesh like it belongs to her.
(Not up for debate. Not when Caitlyn couldn't go to the pool with her friends last summer because she had teeth marks sitting deep in her skin from nights spent in this very bedroom.)
“Missed you so much, Cupcake. Not just the sex, but everything we do. I don't want to have sex with anyone else when I know that it won't ever match up to this. I'd wait even longer if it means you'll be back someday.”
Caitlyn kisses her forehead and lets it all hit her, and knows it'll crash in harder later.
"You're gonna to make a girl quit college and stay in this stupid fucking town if you keep talking like that.”
Vi kisses her sternum. “Not happening. You have to be a lawyer when I marry you.”
Fuck you, Violet. rings through her head. She's impossibly wet and also overtaken by it all.
“Thinking about marriage already?”
“Always if it's you. You in a pretty white dress, me feeding you cake and then the honeymoon and shit.” She bites into Caitlyn's shoulder. She twitches in Vi's grip. “Giving you my babies.”
“That's what you want, yeah?” She breathes.
Vi looks to her and her pupils blow out.
“I'm so fucking in love with you, Caitlyn. I feel insane just looking at you.”
That's real. That reaches right into her stomach, her chest, her entire body and soul until she's drowning, cascading deeper into the person before her, and she realizes what this means: Vi wants her. Vi wants her, in every possible way, and she's saying that before she's even inside her. This is reshaping the future Caitlyn had imagined for herself where they lose each other among their twenties and reconnect soullessly but with longing on odd town celebrations, like a drippy ice rink or a mellow easter Sunday.
She wants Vi to be there all the time. She wants Vi to be inside.
“Do you mean that?”
A little anxious, a bit deer-like in her eyes. “I'm being dead serious. I love you.”
Caitlyn plants multiple pecks across all of her face. “You're everything, Violet. I'm marrying you.”
“Say it.” Vi demands.
“I love you.”
Even bigger eyes. “Again.”
“I love you, Vi.”
Vi exhales, shaky, and puts a hand between them to get a hold of the dildo while Caitlyn matches it up with herself. She holds her breath as she lowers onto the toy, and Vi grabs the back of her skull to push their heads together, watches her intently, fucks her with just her eyes. Caitlyn's bitten lip quivers under that stare, and she's really fighting the need to cry with every passing second. Vi whispers sweet nothings on her skin.
“That's it, Cait. You're perfect.” She says as she bottoms out, hitting the base of the harness soundlessly. Caitlyn puts two fingers to her clit just out of habit and falls into the shoulder before her at the sensation. Vi places two fists to her shoulder blades before those hands blossom open and try to grab her skin. “Attagirl. Just relax on it, okay?”
“Vi, shut up.” She mewls and gathers all the remaining discipline left to stop herself from touching herself any longer. Her hips twitch and Vi groans, lips in her disheveled hair, the room booming with warmth.
Two fingers run down her spine, precision in their little trace of her bones, and Caitlyn's body unfurls just like that. She puts a hand to Vi's collarbone, and doesn't interject as it gets lead to her girlfriend's bicep. Vi props her up again like a doll and smiles.
Caitlyn wants to take that fucking smile from her face and then feed it back to her.
“Where did you learn how to ride, huh?” Vi huffs, two claiming hands on her thighs, stroking the soft skin with a mission. Her piercings gather all the color of the room.
“It's none of your business.” Caitlyn replies playfully. She has gotten used to the feeling inside her. Vi inside her.
“It's not.” Vi's smile twists into a grin, “Just a bit jealous, is all.”
Caitlyn grabs both her cheeks and kisses her slightly pursed mouth. Vi releases from her with one enunciated pop.
“I always imagined it was you when I was riding them.”
Vi's brows deepen and release in one fluid motion. She tries to act all cool now. “Who's them?”
“Unimportant. I closed my eyes and pretended it was you. They were all you.”
“Hmm,” Vi grabs her hips and gives them a gentle rock. Caitlyn grimaces at the friction of pleasure igniting within her. “You don't actually believe what you're saying, right?”
Caitlyn tilts her head. She's going to have to pull herself together for this. “Why wouldn't I?”
“Because they couldn't have been as good as me.”
A church window explodes in her stomach. All colorful shards, just everywhere, cutting through her. And then she remembers who she is.
“I'm the one who's supposed to fuck you.” Caitlyn sits upright again, completely on display, taller here. “So let me fuck you, Vi.”
Vi's eyes blow wide and become cosmically dark. Softly, Caitlyn puts her against the head of the bed frame, the wood responding with a sigh of its own. Her girlfriend's fingertips stay pushed into the soft flex of her hips and thighs. Caitlyn inhales before she begins attempting to find a rhythm that's good for her.
Tilting her head back, Vi watches her through the curtain of her lashes, mouth open and all. It takes a few swirls of her hips before she settles on the right dance. Caitlyn gets the great liberation of knowing she's successfully pleasuring herself, hitting the parts of her that make her quiver on Vi's lap. She breathes harder, and gets more audible responses back, sharp breaths and stifled moans.
Vi trails one hand upwards, over the ladder of her ribs, over her breast, and up her throat to fuel her new obsession. She puts two fingers into Caitlyn's mouth and gasps at the immediate acceptance, the giving in that she so adores.
She puts in her best effort to relax her jaw. Vi is bold but she's careful, too, as she gives Caitlyn an asking look. She tries her best to portray that very agreement that the girl before her is searching for, and she does, because Vi resumes where she stopped until her fingers are knuckle-deep in Caitlyn's mouth and she closes her lips around them, sliding off with a perfectly wet sound.
“Oh my fucking god,” Vi whispers under her long breath, putting that very hand into Caitlyn's hair to pull her forward for yet another kiss. When they lean out, there's a trail of spit connecting them, and that shoots straight to her core with the heat of melted glass.
“Touch me, okay?” Caitlyn demands without a stop, becoming a bit faster, more confident. Vi nods and puts one hand to the upper part of Caitlyn's waist to hold her while the other finds its way to her clit. She curses something incoherent and sets her two longest fingers on it, working through both her own blend of desire and the rapid pace that she tries to keep up, rhythmically, deliciously.
Caitlyn bites so hard into her cheek that she draws blood while the pleasure pulls back taut.
“That's perfect, Violet.” She puts one hand to her breast. “Mhm, fuck. Vi.”
Vi is the one to grin now as she looks up. “You're unbelievable.”
Caitlyn's eyes shut as she senses the onslaught of waves that are coursing through her, closer, just a bit more.
She opens her eyes again and it bleeds in like this: Vi has come forward again to rest her head in Caitlyn's shoulder, her glistening mouth pressed against her skin. She's touching her just like she wants her to, and that seems to take a toll on her too. Her less busy hand travels down to grip Caitlyn's ass again.
“This is all mine,” She says like she just came down from crying. “You're all mine.”
Caitlyn nods as she cradles the toy to that spot within herself again that turns the tide and gets the wash over with. It comes in languidly, mercifully but still so heavy, her entire voice broken and her head on Vi's with her arms wrapped around her. The fingers working her don't stop until she quietly begs her to. Vi reciprocates the embrace.
They smell of sweat. The lenient and handsome smell of Vi's cologne is still lingering somewhere in here.
“I love you.” She says again, to solidify the moment. To not forget what this stands for, though she could never. Not when Vi is her skin. Vi owns her just as much as she owns Violet. They're so fucked. They're never going to get rid of each other like this.
“I know, I can feel it right here.” Her hand pushes down on Caitlyn's belly. It almost makes her cry.
“I really love you, Vi."
A laugh of disbelief. “I know. You'll have me all summer and then the rest of your life, Cupcake.”