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It was a late night in April when it happened. Jisung was never usually the one to go to parties within their university, but after Chenle had told him that he’d rented out a hall and that they were going ‘all out’ for this one, with even Renjun going— that wasn’t something he could ignore.
Which is why he stood a reasonable distance away from the bar, watching Chenle trying to clumsily dance with Kun on the makeshift dance floor, Renjun next to him with a peach vodka and Coke in hand.
Renjun was like a motherly figure to him, so it was only natural that conversation was easy between them. “Do you have your eye on anyone, Jisung?” Okay. Well he wasn’t expecting that as much.
“No, not really…” he admitted, more shameful than he would’ve liked. “I think that there’s definitely attractive girls, but I’m just not looking for a relationship whatsoever. I want to be as prepared as I can be for my next year.”
He didn’t realise that Renjun’s eyes had practically blown out at his response. “Did I say something wrong?” Jisung mulled over his words, trying to think of what he could’ve said that transfixed the other male into a sense of shock (actually, scratch that, didn’t Renjun say he was a demiboy?).
”No, no…” Renjun reassured him, taking the weight of his shoulders. “It’s just— you’re straight?” To this question, Jisung nodded. Renjun still seemed to be mildly bewildered as he continued on. “It’s just, I always thought that you and Chenle were in some sort of relationship given how close you two were.”
Jisung only chuckled, having received the compliment (can you call it that?) many times before.
“Chenle and I’s friendship is probably one I treasure over my other friendships… we’ve just been friends for so long, and he gets me like I get him, he’s always looking after me…I call him the sun and he calls me the moon. We just balance each other out.”
Jisung’s eyes trailed back to Chenle during his spiel, noticing that Chenle had now moved on to trying to get Donghyuck and Jaemin to stop frotting against each other in the middle of a crowd. Even Jisung could agree that was a little inappropriate, and he’d had to listen in on the multiple hookups that his best friend found no pleasure in.
If he wasn’t so focused on that, he may have realised the puzzled look combined with one of knowing that Renjun sent his way. Nonetheless, a loud slurp of his drink next to him brought him back to his surroundings.
Now staring at Renjun, who he had never seen dress this formally, he wondered how he could handle so much alcohol given the fact that he never came to parties just like Jisung.
His thoughts seemed to materialise out loud, as Renjun was now questioning him back.
“You don’t drink much either, from what I can remember. What are you doing here?”
Apparently too dazed to even think of a response to Renjun questioning him, he ended up blurting out his response anyway. “Chenle invited me, and all of my friends were going. There was something close to fomo— actually no, it probably was fomo, that got me here.”
Luckily, it was Renjun’s first drink, so he wasn’t exactly tipsy yet. This unfortunately meant for Renjun to make the suggestion that he and Jisung should do a tequila shot each to give themselves some ‘liquid courage’, which Jisung couldn’t help but question because they were all a part of the same university, but he put it aside and nodded in agreement.
The saying that once Jisung started drinking, he couldn’t stop was something that didn’t come to fruition that night, but he instead found Renjun following that formula. After two more tequila shots and one Jagerbomb, it was pretty obvious that Renjun was plastered and that Jisung didn’t exactly want to palm him off to somebody, but it was in his best interest if he didn’t want to be questioned by Mark in the morning.
Which is why Jisung made quick haste in passing Renjun off to Mark’s boyfriend, Jeno, who was studying the same minor as him. “Woah! Renjun, are you okay?” Jeno gasped, when Renjun had leaped from Jisung’s arm to Jeno’s chest. The three boys had to move themselves from the middle of all the action to a seating area behind the big stage that Chenle said they were ‘allowed to use for whatever reason’. ‘Just don’t let any of that architecture bunch back there, you hear me?’ he’d said—forgetting that Jaemin did that exact degree.
The time backstage was pretty short-lived for Jisung at least, because Donghyuck and Jaemin had come backstage in the middle of a pretty heated kiss, to which Jisung let out a squeal of terror. Someone he considered a big brother and his self-proclaimed mom were trying to have sex backstage, and it wasn’t something he wanted to be a spectator of.
His wishes were slightly misconstrued when he was grabbed on the arm by none other than Na Jaemin. “Jisungie~ where are you going..?” Jaemin had cooed, the younger boy turning around to notice that Donghyuck was mouthing at Jaemin’s neck like he was nothing more than a lamb.
Slightly flustered, Jisung responded. “Jeno and Renjun are back here because…Renjun’s quite drunk. So be mindful, for the love of god.” That seemed to sober Donghyuck up a bit, as he went from sucking the life out of Jaemin to screaming Renjun’s name as he disappeared behind a set of curtains.
Jaemin just chuckled at his antics, almost stumbling forwards onto Jisung. Please save me around these drunkards, someone… is all Jisung could even bear to think.
“Oh, right! I remember what I was going to tell you now.” Jaemin bellowed, a slight slur pertaining to his voice. “Chenle was looking for you, but the last time I saw him he was trying to get Minhee to do body shots from him. You really don’t want to walk in on that.”
Jisung, nose slightly scrunched in disgust now, responded with a nod. “Thanks Nana. I’ll find him eventually, but Mark will probably know where he is if anything.”
Mark was one of the ‘designated drivers’ of the evening— Renjun was supposed to be one, promising he’d only stick to mixers, but that had gone out the window all of 10 minutes ago. Their secondary backup was that Jisung would have to call an Uber for the rest of them, and there is absolutely no way in hell that Jisung was paying for that uber if the likes of Jaemin went sick in it.
When Jaemin had scurried off to find Donghyuck behind the same set of velvet curtains, Jisung’s new task was finding Chenle. He didn’t think it would be hard considering Chenle was the organiser of the entire event, but you really couldn’t predict anything when it came to him.
A few years ago, Chenle had sent Jisung a photo of him dangling from the edge of a roof with the caption of ‘the air’s nice up here’. Jisung had run to that exact roof, cutting down a 15 minutes walk into a 9 minute walk, and Chenle was just sitting up there eating a pizza from the takeaway across the street.
He’d learned never to be kind again, or to never think irrationally. Both work in tandem, if you think about it.
Now back in the main hall where everyone was dancing to the DJ’s curated playlist full of dated clubbing songs, Jisung was meant to locate Chenle. However, as expected, he was able to spot Mark in a corner of the hall playing beer pong with a slightly more drunk Johnny by his side.
On the other side of the table, Sion was whispering things into Riku’s ear while he was trying to aim the ping pong ball at the other set of cups. Jisung made the visual note that they were losing terribly, and he thinks that the taller boy with his lips mouthing at Riku’s lobe now had something to do with it.
As Jisung got closer, the table erupted in cheers when Riku had defeated all the odds and actually landed it in one of the cups. Johnny’s composure was shifting slightly due to the fact that Mark kept complaining that he couldn’t drink too much because he was driving their friend group home, and he didn’t want to imagine how that would end.
Weaving his way through the crowd, Jisung tapped said boy on the shoulder. “Mark-hyung,” he said, a little louder than intended— but no one seemed to care as Mark seemed to scream back in response.
“Hi Jisung! What are you doing? Where’s Chenle?” being able to face Jisung because Johnny was too busy calculating the exact force he’d need to sink it into the other pair’s back right cup.
Mentally facepalming at Mark’s comment about his best friend, Jisung continued the conversation. “That’s actually exactly who I’m looking for. Have you seen him?”
The older boy’s mouth opened to respond, but the cheers from his side of the table were suddenly significantly louder, and his attention diverted back to the table to see Riku snatching the red plastic cup from Sion’s grip, downing whatever liquid was in there. Whatever they have going on, I guess, Jisung thought, as he and Sion had been getting closer recently. So much for friendship though.
This finally allowed Mark to respond to Jisung when the noise died down after Sion was complaining that he wasn’t going to throw the ball now. “I think I saw him earlier doing body sho—”
“I’ve heard that. Have you seen him after that? Please rack your brain a little.” Jisung pleaded, but only slightly. To this, it seemed like Mark was doing a full factory reset trying to retrace his steps to where he last saw the newly bleached-blonde.
Around a few moments later, a lightbulb seemed to go off in his head. “Oh right! He said he was going to hang with the Chinese crowd. I’m not sure where they are, but I know Kun is running around after all of them like a frantic mother, so if you find him they should be close by.”
Jisung nodded, about to take his leave before Mark’s voice called him back once again. “Has anything happened to us seven, minus you and Chenle?” It now dawned on him that he’d have to tell Mark about the fact that Renjun was on the verge of throwing up and that Jaemin and Donghyuck were on the verge of having penetrative sex, but maybe it’d be a little funnier for him to find out at the scene of the crime.
“If you head backstage in around 5 minutes, they’re all back there. They’re taking advantage of what Chenle said,” he told him, giving a reasonable timeframe as the ball that had been thrown from the other side of the table had missed.
Mark gave him a quick shout as he went off once again, this time on a mission to find anybody that identified as Chinese. Other than Renjun, of course. Luck seriously wasn’t on his side, however.
After seeing Jaehyun and Taeyong giving each other a sip of their much too intoxicated cocktails like a married couple, wondering how the fuck Sakuya and Ryo even got in, seeing Donghyuck and Yangyang talking in the corner— wait.
His mind on autopilot, Jisung made his way to Donghyuck and Yangyang, frantically searching the area around them to find the most sensible of the group. Kun wasn’t the tallest, but Jisung was tall enough to spot his pink hair in the crowd, and so made his way over from where he was talking (or was that shouting?) to Xiaojun and Kunhang.
“Kun-hyung!” Jisung exclaimed, slightly exasperated— but it seemed to get his attention nonetheless. Kun just smiled at him before Jisung jutted his head out to the side, so Kun turned around to give the two boys some sort of warning before he met Jisung outside the crowd.
The easy smile remained on his face. “What’s up, Jisung-ah? We haven’t talked in a while.” Kun reminded him. Feeling suddenly guilty now, his face seemed to betray him as Kun continued speaking. “It’s not a bad thing! I get that you have your own commitments, as well as keeping Lele out of trouble.”
Chuckling slightly, that was probably something that Jisung could use on his CV. Keeping Zhong Chenle out of trouble. Which brought his focus back once again, as that was exactly the boy that he was looking far.
“Speaking of him, do you have any clue where he might be? Jaemin told me he was looking for him and I’ve had no clue where to find him ever since I lost sight of him when Renjun almost threw up.”
Completely forgetting Renjun’s nationality, he watched as Kun went paler than usual at the mere mention of ‘Renjun’ and ‘throw up’ within the same sentence. He breathed out through his nostrils, the easy smile on his face now seeming forced.
“I did see him a little while ago, I think he was near the front of the dancefloor. There’s no guaranteeing that he’s moved or not though.” Kun advised, before turning the conversation back to Jisung’s supposedly off-hand comment. “What did you say Renjun was doing?”
Jisung gulped. “Just… go in that door there and behind the blue curtains,” as he was pointing at him to go backstage. “There’s only…our friend group there, but I’m sure they won’t mind.”
Kun didn’t even have time to nod as he walked off speedily into the door that led backstage, Jisung noticing the slight jolt of the door from where he’d forgotten to lock it. Oops.
Now, Jisung was having to find his way through multiple bodies to see if he could even see anyone that resembled Chenle. The boy had quite a recognisable face, but it didn’t help when multiple other boys had decided to dye their hair blonde and were probably the slightest bit taller than Chenle himself.
For once in the evening though, his luck didn’t betray him. He saw Chenle talking to Johnny now, presuming the beer pong game had ended like he thought, which meant that Mark was probably also backstage.
Tapping him on the shoulder, Chenle turned around and— oh god.
Chenle was drunk. Not just any drunk, no, he was hammered.
A flush that was too dark to be considered as endearment because Chenle was completely heterosexual and not in love with Johnny, his feet slightly wobbling when he noticed Johnny in the background being used as an armrest for Chenle. More like a coat hanger, perhaps.
It was the extremely slurred speech that gave him away within a few seconds. “Jijeongie! Oh my god, I haven’t seen you all niiiight…” It was in a matter of seconds that Chenle had forgotten that Johnny existed, clinging straight onto Jisung instead. The heat that radiated from Chenle’s body from where he’d been mingling for most of the night made it’s way into Jisung’s own system, his own flush appearing but not from the drunken mood.
“Sorry, Chenle. I had stuff to deal with.” Jisung replied as nonchalantly as possible, before Chenle just laughed a little too hard in response.
“You think I’m serious? I’m glad you’re talking…to…everyone. Yeah. All the people here.” he stammered out at the end, the effects of alcohol seeming to be causing carnage in his mind.
With any rational sense, Jisung dragged Chenle out of the crowd by hooking his arms under the other boy like a trust fall, the other boy clinging onto him in his tightly fitted white shirt. Chenle had been wearing a suit, but he didn’t want to know where that got discarded too once everyone had told him that he was doing body shots.
Ignoring Chenle’s drunken whines, he decided to tell Chenle something that might make him sober up a bit. “The reason I was gone for so long was because I had to care for Renjun after he drank a little too much.”
His suspicions were soon confirmed when Chenle’s eyes widened, Jisung thinking they could be the size of bowling balls if they popped out of their sockets. “What the fuck? We need to see him right now!” the Chinese boy shouted, and now Jisung was the one getting dragged on autopilot.
Chenle didn’t even know where Renjun was, so how he went backstage on impulse is a mystery. Jisung couldn’t help but remember that Chenle had wanted to see him specifically for something, and so it made every sense to ask him while they were alone.
“Jaemin told me that you wanted to see me. What’s that all about?”
An expression similar to Mark’s earlier in the evening seemed to duplicate onto Chenle’s own features. They’d just passed the door for the backstage area, and the older’s head slightly looked towards the left.
Turning back to Jisung, he explained in the best of terms. “I need to go up there and say something. If I go alone, it’ll be awkward. You’re coming with me.” Chenle attempted to drag Jisung for the second time that night, but Jisung stayed rooted to the floor.
“Are you crazy? Why do I need to come on the stage with you? Just say what you need to say!” Jisung blabbered, before Chenle had met his gaze once again.
No one had ever told Chenle how persuasive he was when he was drunk, or maybe that was just him, Jisung thought— but his eyes had suddenly glossed over in record time and he was tugging at the taller boy’s arm limply.
“Please? It’ll be quick…you don’t have to say anything…” Chenle trailed off. All the cons had suddenly disappeared in Jisung’s head, because if everyone was as drunk as Chenle then there’s no way that any of them would remember it.
Only nodding in response, Chenle’s delayed nerves still took it as a sign to continue trying to drag Jisung up the stairs like a sack of potatoes, in which this time he was given all the leeway in the world to drag the other. When they got up there, the curtains were still closed, but Jisung briefly noticed a lectern and a rope which would pull the curtains back.
“Do you know if the microphone’s on?” Chenle had said, which— how the hell would he know if the microphone was on? Nonetheless, he gave it a tap, and luckily the sound of Jisung’s finger hitting the material made an echoing sound through where the music was being played through the DJ’s boombox.
Taking this as a sign, Chenle scurried over to the curtains before drawing them back to reveal the two on stage. Some had paid attention to them and were staring at Jisung at the center of the lectern, while others were still caught up in their own events.
Fortunately, Jisung wasn’t alone for too long, as Chenle had hurried to the lectern himself, slightly moving Jisung out of the way so he could scream into the music.
“TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!” came Chenle’s slurred voice, however the screeching that came as a result of that made the music stop with a halt. Even the DJ had turned around to see the spectacle, but now everyone who was on the dancefloor had started cheering and whooping for Chenle.
Jisung just stood there, shaking slightly in his tailored waistcoat that Renjun had forced him to get. Noticing his nerves, Chenle held Jisung’s hand behind the lectern— Jisung’s hand feeling unusually sweaty as a result of this. He brushed it off as it being the product of everyone’s body heat.
Now that Chenle had successfully garnered everybody’s attention, it was down to him to finally time for him to begin speaking about what he wanted to, and Jisung still couldn’t help but wonder why the boy was so adamant for him to be up here.
“Hi…everyone!” Chenle started, his already loud voice threatening to break the speakers from being so close to the microphone. Jisung swears he’s close to dribbling all over it, and that wouldn’t be a sight that anyone would forget.
Nonetheless, Chenle continued after Jisung had straightened his posture in the slightest. “Thank you all for coming…it’s been fun, right? I had fun. You’ve all been very fun..! I have something I want to say though. So hear me out. Okay?” The crowd didn’t seem interested, so Chenle shouted into the microphone once again. “I SAID OKAY?”
This got everyone’s attention— Chenle being the entertainer as he usually was. “You guys see this person right next to me?” was all Chenle had to say next, and Jisung wanted to move, run away from the spotlight that was inadvertently put on them, but Chenle’s hand kept him in his place.
“This is my best friend Park Jisung. Some of you may know him because he does astrophysics, some of you may know him for being a loser.”
Chenle chuckled, ignoring Jisung’s slight protest if the scowl on his face was anything to give.
“I told him that I needed to bring him up here so he could help me talk about something, but I actually want to talk about him for a second! So I’m gonna need eveeeeeryone’s—” he scanned his finger around the crowd, making Jisung realise that Renjun and everyone else were filtering in from backstage. “attention. Good!”
Chenle cleared his throat, before leading Jisung to the side of the lectern. “Don’t move, or I’ll hold you in place again. That’s not a threat, just advice.” Chenle had said, letting go of their hands, to where the older boy’s body heat had seemed to linger on his palm.
“Jisung is a great person. He’s very tall, taller than me even. He has red hair at the moment, which makes him look like a cherry. I think if you compared our cheeks right now, they’d look the same colour. I am aware that I’ve drunk…a lot…but that’s okay. Jisung is a great friend, and I’m pretty sure every one of you here would be lucky to have him as your friend.”
Jisung felt his heart soften a little bit. Chenle had never been the sentimental type, so even if he was drunk, hearing these words about him would be something that he’d never let the others live down.
“But,” Chenle began, and Jisung could swear he heard some gasps in the crowd. His mind was racing once Chenle said this, because he couldn’t even fathom what Chenle was going to say as his expression was unusually unreadable.
That issue was soon solved, however, as Chenle’s face broke out into a scowl with a twinge of something that Jisung couldn’t identify. “He’s my best friend. While that makes me really happy, it makes me really sad, because…” Chenle trailed off the microphone, bringing Jisung back to the lectern for a second.
“I have something to say to Jisung.” Chenle broke out, completely forgetting where he was going to finish his other sentence. He then turned to face Jisung, “Can you tell everyone yes or no as to if you want to hear what I’m about to say?”
Jisung partly thinks that Chenle might have gone crazy with the way he was practically being put on blast in front of a bunch of people he knew and some strangers, but curiosity got the better of him as it wasn’t often that Chenle showed any sort of emotion.
“If it’s good, you can say it!” Jisung teased, with a slight smile, and Chenle’s expression was once again hard to read, but it was definitely positive.
Said boy took a deep breath that could be heard in the microphone, before he began rambling like his mouth to brain filter did not work whatsoever. Which, well, it definitely wasn’t.
“Nobody here knows that I’m completely in love with Jisung. Every time somebody would say that we’re a couple I’d be like… Wow! You’re so funny! Then it would remind me that I can’t be with Jisung because he’s straight and I’m straight but he’s the prettiest boy I’ve ever met. He really looks like a hamster and he clings onto me when he’s scared and it makes me nervous because if he squeals sometimes I end up squealing because he attaches himself to me and then it makes me aware of our proximity. I also think he’s the sweetest person ever because he adopted a cat from the street whose leg was broken, and paid all of the expenses to get it treated so that the cat could live a good life, and now Jisung is breaking the no pets room in his apartment to let the cat live there. The cat is called Salem. It’s a great cat, but it could never rival my Daegal. That’s not the point though! I’ve never said this to Jisung in person, but…I love Jisung. I have loved Jisung for what seems like a while, but I’ve only realised it recently, and I’m not going to remember this, but I don’t care what I think right now because it’s been the best night of my life. Don’t you all love Jisung too?”
The cheers were the loudest that they’d been all night, even hearing the odd whistle and somebody blasting air horn noises from what could only be assumed to be a speaker.
Meanwhile, Jisung was in complete shock. Throughout the speech, he noticed how Jeno’s face was going through every single expression while Chenle was speaking, and he could only imagine that’s how he appeared too. Even now, when he stood in the center of the lectern with Chenle having confessed his love right in front of him— he didn’t know what to feel.
Jisung and Chenle were both straight, after all, and not once had Jisung ever considered their closeness a sign that the latter might like him in a way that wasn’t platonic. However, he’d be lying if something in his body didn’t move at the sudden admittance, he just couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Disgust, maybe.
He was still standing in shock, because he only noticed the cheers dying down when Chenle wrapped his arm around his shoulder instead, and everyone started cooing instead. “I’m not going to let Jisung say anything, but I’m going to do something. Everyone get your phones out, take photos, take videos, record it all.” Chenle announced, before turning to Jisung to evaluate his expression.
The younger is pretty sure that he’s exactly what Chenle had described earlier— a hamster in a state of shock. His mind was still reeling from what was said just a couple of minutes ago, and now Chenle was about to do something else. Why hadn’t he left, even though Chenle had let go of his hand for what seemed like an eternity long?
He didn’t have much time to wallow in his thoughts, rather fortunately or unfortunately.
Chenle had wrapped his hands around his neck, bringing him down slightly so that Chenle could give him what he could probably disguise as the wettest press of lips to his cheek ever.
His mind was once again sent into inner turmoil when Chenle’s lips, which were seemingly soft if he ignored the saliva coating them that Jisung had somehow missed, kept going back in for several kisses. Every time Chenle leaned in he could smell the alcohol that reeked off him indicating that he was drunk, but he could also identify the slight baby powder scent that Chenle always applied before going anywhere. His signature scent, if you will.
After what seemed like a lifetime but what was in reality only a few seconds, Chenle pulled away after the fifth cheek kiss. Jisung was a statue, and he wasn’t exactly sure if he could blame the flush on his cheeks to the heat of the venue anymore.
“That’s all I wanted to say. Oh, but Yangyang did want me to say something…if you guys want to sign up for the…” Chenle’s voice was becoming increasingly more slow, and before he and everyone else knew it, he’d fallen backwards from where he was speaking at the lectern.
Jisung had to be there to catch him, because otherwise he would’ve smashed his skull on the wooden floor, but he was silently thinking in his head of the humiliation of himself catching the guy that’d just confessed to him.
As he brought Chenle back up to standing position, his eyes half lidded and staring into Jisung’s, his senses were reawakened for the umpteenth time that night.
“Did you…save me?” Chenle whispered, the words leaving his lips like a yearn for the other’s heart. Jisung’s words suddenly got tangled in his throat, as the way Chenle’s hair fell over his face, stopping just before his eyes to accentuate how dilated his pupils were made his head spin. He noticed that Chenle’s lips were still slightly chapped after all of the saliva had faded, but they were considerably plush after he’d been kissing Jisung repetitively on the cheek. Everything was happening all at once, and he was only at the start of the rollercoaster.
Jisung looked around. “Um—” his attention was brought to the still open curtain, the torches that were shining on him and Chenle, and the scream of Mark Lee. “SOMEBODY GET A FUCKING MOP! HUANG RENJUN JUST THREW UP!”
What the hell just happened?
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The morning after wasn’t exactly something out of a movie, as Jisung was in a state to remember everything from last night. That was, after he’d woken up in Renjun’s apartment because it was the only place that had space for 3 of them— Donghyuck, Jaemin and Chenle had all gone home with Mark.
He remembered that he was stuck with two drunk people, and then internally sighed, before remembering the drunk person that had done something very out of character for him, which then led to an external sigh.
It also caused his brain to short circuit in just the slightest. Why did Chenle, his straight best friend, confess to him that he liked him? Why was Jisung so oblivious to not notice it up until now?
So, in times of need, there was no one better to confide in than said 2 drunk friends who are more often homosexual than not. Getting up from the guest room that he’d put himself in last night, he went into Renjun’s room at around 10am to find the other boy still sleeping. So that was a no go.
As if luck was suddenly on his side, he noticed Jeno flip flopping on the sofa, but the other boy was on his phone giggling. There was a glass of water and some aspirin down by the side of the sofa, and it was very like Jeno to be proactive. He could only assume that he was giggling at his phone because Mark was messaging him or something similar.
Jisung trudged down the stairs, alerting Jeno of his presence at the same time. The other boy mustered the biggest smile he could, before speaking. “Fun night last night?” he teased, and Jisung could only groan before sitting in the swivel chair across from him.
Attempting to divert the conversation, Jisung turned back to Jeno’s habits just moments ago. “What were you laughing at anyway?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” came Jeno’s voice, and curiosity was Jisung’s number one enemy at this point because it could be Jeno sexting his boyfriend or cute cat videos. There was no in between.
After Jisung’s admittance, Jeno turned the phone around and it was probably what he should’ve been expecting. The secret third option if you will.
It was the video of when Chenle had told everyone to turn on their phones so he could have video evidence of him giving Jisung a fat kiss on the cheek. There was hammering going on in his mind, but not from a headache.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, as he was fixated on the video, he couldn’t help but notice that the lighting of that video didn’t capture how beautiful Chenle’s eyes looked when they were glossed over and staring into his—
Woah. Now that was unchartered territory.
Jeno, ever perceptive, noticed Jisung’s facial expressions and decided to play therapist for the day. “Do you think you like him?”
Completely blown away by the questions, Jisung just let out pointless gasps of air before responding. “You’re asking me to sign a contract that I don’t even know the terms of now. 12 hours ago my best friend said he loved me and you’re asking me, a straight man, whether or not I like him back?”
“Reconsider.” Jeno simply said.
“I’m sorry?”
He suddenly played it off by laughing. “Sorry, I was just thinking of a really silly photo. Seriously though— do you mind if I ask you some things? It’ll be interesting for the psychology lecture that I randomly walked into one day and really enjoyed learning about.”
Jisung shrugged, not seeing the problem with it. He knew what he would respond with anyway.
Jeno typed away on his phone before speaking again, maybe he was actually messaging Mark this time.
“You and Chenle are both straight, right? Have you noticed that Chenle might not be?”
Jisung, while spluttering, managed to come up with an answer. “Well– it’s not like I ever really paid attention! He would always talk about his hookups in front of me and they were always with female pronouns, so I never assumed…as such. Didn’t he say last night that he was straight as well?”
Jeno only hummed. Ever so cryptic. “What’s your favourite thing about Chenle?”
“This is like asking me what’s my favourite food. I can’t tell you! I really like Chenle’s sense of humour because he’s just naturally funny, and his laugh is really bright. His eyes are really cool too, they’re like a cat but then they can get really wide—” Jisung gestured that part with his hands, “sort of like how they were last night…and then his hair too! I like the blonde on him. It makes him look like an angel.”
There were noises of laughter coming from the top of the stairs. Renjun had woken up, heard Jisung’s supposed answer to Jeno’s question, and was now thundering down the stairs in a blanket that was all too long for him.
“What are you laughing at?” Jisung said, offended.
Renjun was still laughing, leaning on Jeno from where he’d forced him to shuffle up too. “I’m sorry— it’s just, there is no, and I mean zero heterosexual explanation for that. Jeno asked you what your favourite thing was and then you go to say he’s an angel? Are you hearing yourself?”
Okay, maybe Jisung was the tiniest bit oblivious, but he couldn’t be sure because Chenle wasn’t even here and it’s not like he could even say that he meant the confession. It might’ve been something he said while he was drunk! Jisung even remembers him saying that no one would remember this when they wake up.
As Jeno was about to ask the next question of his so-called interrogation, a knock at the door rang out. Jisung didn’t know who would knock this early after last night’s party, maybe the…postman?
Renjun got up to open the door, not caring about his appearance. The door clicked, Renjun gasped a little, and then motioned for Jeno to come into the kitchen with him. Jisung watched them scurry in, cautiously getting up to go with them, but then the door slammed and his attention was diverted there.
Jisung concluded that he should never think ever again, because standing in the doorway was just the person he’d been thinking about. Chenle.
“Don’t go in there. Let’s talk.” Chenle said firmly, which caused Jisung to debate between sitting back on the swivel chair or telling Chenle that he’s out of his mind because Jisung hasn’t had the grace period to admit that he may be in love– just a little– with his best friend.
The latter won. “What do we need to talk about?”
Chenle sighed, only dragging him by the arm so they could sit on the sofa that Jeno and Renjun had once sat on. “I thought you knew me better than this, Ji. You know I don’t get hangovers and that I remember absolutely everything. If the video plastered all over social media wasn’t enough?”
His face seemed to betray him then, as he only nodded and sat facing Chenle at the other end of the sofa. Although, it wasn’t exactly facing, if staring into his legs was anything to count for.
A gasp came out of Jisung a few seconds later, because Chenle had used his two fingers to grab Jisung by the chin and get him to look in his eyes. Maybe now, Jisung could understand what Renjun meant.
Chenle’s eyes were no longer glossy, but they held a certain resolve to them that made him seem like he wasn’t piercing him, but instead just merely gazing. His hair was more neatly styled, the sun peering in through the blinds making Jisung’s angel fantasies materialise even more by the second.
Neither of them spoke for a second, as if they were drinking in each other’s appearances. The fact that Chenle had the time to get ready and make himself look this good when he drank so— but he didn’t get hangovers. Seriously, what was Jisung’s mind doing?
“Like I said.” Chenle huffed finally, as if the staring was never going to end. “We should talk. Well, I can do the talking if you want.”
Afraid to say anything out of line, Jisung just nodded. “I’ll let you say your piece first.”
Chenle came straight out with him, because social anxiety does truly fear him. “I’m not going to beat around the bush and say that last night was a mistake because…I do like you, Jisung. I think I realised it about 3 months ago when we went to Shanghai again together, and your face when we went on the rollercoaster ride that wasn’t too high for you was sort of the thing that cemented for me that I do like you…so much.”
He sighed before continuing. “I know I’m rambling a little and I’ve probably been in love with you for a lot longer now, but I’ve never been in love with…well– a boy before, and it’s quite ironic because all of our friends are gay and the two only straight people are…like this…” he trailed off, chuckling. “All the hookups I’ve been complaining about recently are because, well…”
Chenle trailed off once again, and Jisung noticed a slight dusting of pink on his cheeks. He didn’t know what to say in response, but it was obvious that Jisung could tell he wanted to say something that may have an effect on them.
“You can say it. I won’t judge you.”
Chenle breathed out sharply. “Are you sure? I think it might.”
“What’s affected us before?”
“Okay, so, tell me this. Would it be that I didn’t enjoy them as much because I always thought that you’d be…better?”
Once again, maybe Jisung was considering that what Chenle said before would’ve been right, because he had the balls to announce that right in front of his face. He wasn’t sure of how to respond, so all that came out was a “...can you explain?” from him. It was more like a squeak, too.
“Aren’t you a virgin though? Won’t this wreck your little innocent mind?” Chenle teased slightly, and Jisung could feel the slightly heavier air around him lifting due to the fact that they seemed to be back to normal.
Nonetheless, Jisung pouted and shook his head, which made Chenle stutter a little before talking again. “Um, well, neither of us really know the ins and outs of gay sex necessarily but…I couldn’t stop thinking about ifyouwereundermeinstead—”
The words might’ve been jumbled, but the way in which Chenle said them made him gasp out loud once again in realisation. His face was on fire now, and if the way that he and Chenle were staring at each other to indicate something…actually, what was there to indicate?
Trying to salvage the conversation, Chenle turned to Jisung. “You- you can say your part. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.” he murmured.
Jisung so badly wanted to tell him that it was perfectly okay that he was sharing things with him, and that he shouldn’t be thinking about Chenle saying that he wanted him under him and the scenarios that were being visuali— okay. Maybe it was time for him to start talking.
He sighed slightly before speaking, as if it was a chore. “I mean, I didn’t…expect it. I don’t really know what to say about it. I can’t say yes and I can’t say no because you confessed your love for me and kissed me on the cheek…but…part of me, well, ah. It’s so hard to say. Wouldn’t m-mind…trying it out?”
Chenle’s eyebrows raised slightly, their eyesight interlocking with each other once again. “What are you saying, Jisung?” he uttered, voice dropping suspiciously low. It sounded like honey was dropping from his voice, and Jisung was just becoming attracted to it more and more.
Which is maybe why he spilled his entire truths. “Well…you didn’t even give me a proper kiss…” he said, and the pout that came from his voice didn’t mean to come out, but maybe he just did irrational things when he was around Chenle. This entire night had just sent him for one, and maybe these were the (fortunate?) consequences of it all.
As if he was acting on instinct too, Chenle beckoned Jisung to come closer to him. He had no other choice to comply, because maybe his frontal lobe had developed earlier than intended as his only thought was if Chenle kisses me and I don’t realise I’m gay or something I think I need to go to a psych ward.
Chenle just ran his thumb over Jisung’s cheek, edging dangerously close to his mouth. “Are you sure you want this, Jiji?” Jisung nodded. “Words.”
Something unhealthy pooled in Jisung’s gut at Chenle’s statement. “Well…if you want it as much as I do…” he wasn’t sure if it was his true thoughts or the rational ‘we’re trying things out’ side of his brain thinking, but it seemed to do just the trick.
Luckily, Jisung wasn’t a kiss virgin, so he knew what to do when Chenle slotted their mouths together. It wasn’t anything cliché like people intended, because in all honesty Jisung had forgotten the last time he’d kissed, so there was a lot of battling between the two on who would get dominance, their mouths never exactly meeting in harmony.
Whether it was a mistake or not, Jisung would never know, but Chenle had flipped their positions so that Jisung was lying on his back and Chenle was hovering over him. Their mouths were still connected, and Jisung was feeling the heat of Chenle’s breath in the same proximity to his—and suddenly he was hyperaware of everything.
It was like he let himself be untangled from head to toe. He let Chenle slip his tongue further inside his mouth, losing his battle for dominance as he couldn’t suppress the whine that came from Chenle exploring the caves of his mouth.
At some point, Chenle had accidentally pressed right down on Jisung’s crotch, but that had only caused Jisung to let out a low moan that couldn’t exactly be suppressed even with the position they were in. He felt his ears heating up, and Chenle didn’t seem to rest either, their two bodies intertwined so closely together that Jisung could feel the strands of Chenle’s hair on his own forehead.
Chenle had rested his hands on Jisung’s nape to make it less uncomfortable, and the way in which his fingers were moving along his bare skin, almost like coaxing a baby to sleep, kept making Jisung let out sounds that he didn’t think he was capable of, and maybe, just maybe, this is what it was like in the mov—
“ENOUGH!” came Renjun’s voice, with Jeno behind him banging frying pans. Jisung’s reflexes were working overtime, as he threw Chenle off him without even disconnecting their lips properly, causing Chenle to drag him from where his hands were so they fell on top of each other in an even more conspicuous position. Jisung on Chenle’s lap.
They made their way over, the banging from the frying pans long gone, and Jisung was so fixated on the way that Chenle stared at him with a sweet smile that could melt almost anyone’s heart that knew him this way. He was too busy thinking that he was the only one that knew Chenle this way, that he didn’t realise the cushions that were being aimed at them both now.
“Go do your shit somewhere else!” Renjun cried. “Jeno has a boyfriend, you two are making out, Donghyuck and Jaemin are sexual freaks— oh my god! Just please, go back to the guest room for a bit!”
They were involuntarily shuffled into the smaller guest room with the single bed that Jisung had woken up in this morning, now away from each other as Jisung sat on the bed while Chenle stood around awkwardly.
Jisung just patted the spot on the bed next to him, and Chenle was twiddling with his fingers like he didn’t know what to say for the first time. So, it was only natural for Jisung to break the silence.
“Do you think we should give it a try?” Jisung questioned.
“Being boyfriends?” Chenle responded.
Boyfriends. Now that Chenle had set it out loud, it was all becoming too real too fast. He would’ve never imagined that he’d be questioning his sexuality over his best friend that he’d literally seen eat his own boogers in high school, but the world worked in many different ways.
Jisung nodded. “Well…are you comfortable with your sexuality?” At this, Chenle stilled for a moment, before responding with something that seemed mature— even for him.
“I guess I could say I’m unlabelled? I’ve not really been with any other boys— at all, up until…just then…but I know the feelings I have for you aren’t fake. I’m willing to wait forever, you know.”
If Chenle hadn’t melted his heart already, Jisung sure thought he was on the way to needing it transplanted. Or was it the honeymoon phase, people said.
He could only giggle in response. “We’ll take our time. What if I say…you’re my person?”
“Sure,” Chenle said, nodding. “It’s a bit harsh when you consider that you’re leaving me hanging on that undying love confession, though!” Jisung could only turn away in embarrassment, before Chenle attacked him from the side again. “It’s okay, Sungie. I’ll be by your side every step of the way.”
(It didn’t take them long to get together after that, with a Lego rose from Chenle that they’d got 3 hours later being enough for Jisung to seal the deal. Maybe he was Chenle-sexual, maybe bisexual. It didn’t matter when their hands threaded together the way their hearts did metaphorically.)
No clue, but I liked it