Work Text:
It was late afternoon on a cloudy winter day. The sun was setting and Kaiser was sitting behind the front desk of his tattoo parlour. His last booked client had already left and the only sounds inside his shop were coming from Hiori’s side of it, where he was attending a client that wanted a piercing. It almost worked as white noise, helping him tune out everything as he reread Thus Spoke Zarathustra, fingers rhythmically tapping on the book cover. He almost didn’t notice when someone crossed the doorway, stopping in front of the desk. He looked up, blinking a few times to get his eyes to focus on the stranger. It looked as if he was glowing, the setting sun shining behind him, making his features hard to discern.
“How can I help you?”
The person was staring at him without replying, a pair of big doe eyes not seeming to want to leave his. He was starting to get irritated, his eyes narrowing, and he was about to tell him to stop staring and fucking speak when a voice finally came. It was soft and melodic, unlike any he had ever heard before.
“Uhm, I actually wanted a tattoo… is it too late for a walk-in?”
The words registered in Kaiser’s brain a beat too late, his mind busy processing how chillingly relaxed that simple sound, a stranger’s voice, involuntarily made him. He eventually closed his book, saying, “We close in about two hours, so it depends on what you want to get.”
The stranger smiled softly and pointed to one of the flash-tattoos designs from a board hanging on the wall. It was one of the floral tattoos, a long stem made to wrap around an arm, adorned by several forget-me-nots in soft hues of blue.
“I’d like that one.”
Kaiser looked at the guy one last time before nodding, turning on his chair to grab something.
“Sure. I’ll have you sign a couple of forms while I set everything up.”
He handed him the forms before getting up to fix his tattooing chair and organizing his supplies. The stranger diligently filled the forms, not making a sound. It looked like a quiet tattoo session was coming up. To say that Kaiser was glad would be an understatement, after all entertaining the customers was his least favourite part of the job. Once he was done, he walked back to the front desk, checking the forms before beckoning the other to follow him to his part of the studio. Previously it was probably an open space, now divided by black plasterboard walls that made the space more private. The lights didn’t hurt the eyes, there was a TV hanging from one of the walls, currently turned off, and a shelf filled with books was resting against the adjacent wall. The station was neat and tidy and the whole space felt minimalistic yet not without personality. The stranger, which he now knew was named Alexis Ness, sat down on the tattoo chair and Kaiser looked at him, his eyes scanning his body.
“First tattoo?”
Ness nodded, his melodic voice once again registering into Kaiser’s brain.
“Yeah… I saw it while walking past this place and decided to get it.”
Kaiser took the stencil from the printer while replying, “That’s pretty impulsive.”
Ness’ eyes lingered on Kaiser’s from before he quietly said, “I don’t think so. Something good happened to me and when I saw your tattoo I decided I wanted to celebrate by getting it done.”
Kaiser hummed noncommittally. A lot of clients did things like that, it was nothing new.
“Where do you want it?”
“My right wrist.”
Kaiser brought him the stencil, placing it near his wrist while looking into the mirror in front of them.
“Is the size alright?”
Ness looked at it silently before nodding. “Yeah, looks good.”
Kaiser hummed, applying the stencil to his wrist, double checking whether it was centered or not. He then moved away, letting Ness look at it in the mirror.
“Alright?”
There was a pause, Ness’ eyes trailing to his wrist, lost in thought before he nodded.
“Yeah.”
Kaiser nodded back and started to prepare the tattoo gun.
“How's your pain tolerance?”
“Normal I think…” a quiet, almost embarrassed voice, replied. Kaiser rolled his eyes, that answer didn't mean anything. He sighed.
“Did you eat before coming here?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. If you feel like passing out, tell me.”
He then finally brought his stool near the chair, making Ness lie down so that he could easily work on his arm. He didn't say anything else, briefly making eye contact with him to check if it was fine to start before beginning to tattoo him. Surprisingly enough, Ness didn't flinch.
The first thirty minutes went by in complete silence. Kaiser didn’t mind, he could focus on his work without getting distracted. It was only him and the artwork, his client being only a canvas, a means to spread his work. Despite his one-way focus, he could still feel a pair of magenta eyes following his every movement. It was fine at first, but it was starting to be upsetting.
“Worried that I’ll mess up your arm?”
Ness’ eyes widened and he was quick to reply, “No, not at all.”
“Then why do you keep staring?” Kaiser asked back, his eyes never leaving the piece.
Ness hesitated before finally saying in a quieter voice, “It’s mesmerizing.”
Kaiser didn’t reply to that. It wasn’t the first time someone had told him that, besides, it was his way of working. He respected his canvases and even more than that he respected his art. He didn’t do half-assed jobs.
Silence enveloped them again. Then, the melodic voice asked, “Have you been doing this for long?”
“Most of my life.” He replied without missing a beat
Ness hummed, his eyes landing on the blue rose on Kaiser’s neck. “Do you like flowers? I’ve seen you have a lot of them among your flash-tattoos… on your body too.”
“I don’t mind them.”
Kaiser’s replies were dry and Ness ended up not asking anything else. The rest of the session went by in complete silence, the only sound coming from the tattoo gun. Once it was finally done, Kaiser got up, placing the gun away. Without looking, he asked, “Like it?”
Ness was quiet for a long time, his eyes tracing the graceful lines that had been engraved on his body, how they gently hugged his wrist, how flowers looked so vibrant against his skin. “It's… wonderful.”
Kaiser was now looking at him and he briefly replied, “I'm glad you like it.” He then proceeded to wrap the tattoo up before walking to the register, Ness following behind. He paid and Kaiser handed him some prints.
“Those are care instructions, follow them if you want the tattoo to heal well.”
Ness smiled and nodded, “Alright, thank you.” His gaze lingered on Kaiser before giving him a nod and heading out.
Kaiser sat down behind the front desk, his eyes following Ness until he was out of view. For some reason, he felt like there was something odd about him, yet he couldn't quite place his finger on it. In the end it didn’t matter, they probably won't cross paths ever again.
He then heard a noise from the other side of the studio and he saw a cyan head come out as he led a customer outside. Once they left, Hiori turned around, giving him a slight smile.
“Good work today.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Kaiser replied, getting up and cracking his back. He glanced at a clock hanging from a wall, it was time they closed. Hiori made his way to him, leaning against the desk.
“Ya seem unfocused, is something on yer mind?”
Kaiser raised an eyebrow as he put on his jacket, Hiori chuckled quietly.
“Don’t look at me like that. Did a client piss ya off? But I didn’t hear shouts… or groans… or someone getting knocked out.”
Kaiser huffed, he wasn't that bad at dealing with insufferable clients. He usually just kicked them out before even starting to tattoo them. He glared at Hiori. “Quite the opposite. Got a walk-in, an odd guy, he was quiet as hell during it and kept staring.”
Hiori tilted his head, “Isn't that good?”
“Yeah, but it was odd. We're talking about someone that had virgin skin.” Kaiser replied noncommittally.
Hiori hummed as they walked out of the parlour, the cold air of the winter hitting them in the face. “Seems like ya found yerself a nice canvas then.”
Kaiser clicked his tongue, his back turned on his as he locked the door, “Doubt it. It was some kind of celebratory thing, he probably won't come back.”
“Never say never.” Hiori replied with a small smirk.
Kaiser rolled his eyes and tucked his nose in the scarf as another cold gust hit him. He glanced at the sky, completely cloudy. He gave a nod to Hiori before walking away, not wanting to get caught by snow.
Hiori shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. “See ya tomorrow.”
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
To say that Kaiser was surprised would be an understatement. He stared at the cup of coffee on his desk for a couple more seconds before his eyes locked with big magenta ones and he raised an eyebrow.
“What is that?”
“An espresso doppio.” Ness replied, tilting his head.
“Why?” Kaiser asked again, eyeing the cup.
Ness smiled slightly, his eyes crinkling at the ends. “I work at the coffee shop nearby, thought I might bring you a gift. I really like the tattoo.”
Kaiser sighed, accepting the cup and taking a sip. It wasn’t sweet, just how he drank it at home. He put the cup down, finally saying, “There was no need for this.”
“Yet you seem to like it, I'm glad. You look like someone who enjoys espresso.” Ness replied, looking at him.
Kaiser's eyes narrowed and he stared at him before looking away, “I do.”
Ness’ mouth quirked up and he said, “I'll keep that in mind then. My work here is done, I'll see you around.” With that he waved at him before walking out.
As the door closed, Hiori’s head poked out from the doorway of his station. “Seems like you got yerself a new regular.”
Kaiser raised an eyebrow skeptically and Hiori shook his head, walking up to him. “I saw how he was looking at ya, he either finds you hot or he's trying ta get in yer graces ta get a discount. Either way, he’ll come back for another tattoo.”
Kaiser glared at him, his fingers tapping on the paper cup of the coffee. He briefly replayed their encounters in his mind, trying to profile the guy. Quiet, introverted, an overall weak personality, yet… he thought about when he had walked through the threshold of the parlour, of his soothing voice- he shook his head. It was just his mind playing tricks on him. Just a normal client, the kind of person that was too gentle for his own good. He looked at Hiori.
“I still don’t think he'll come back again.”
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Famous last words they say. The next day he had a later shift than usual and when he got to his desk, he found a cup of coffee on it. He stared at it, almost burning holes through the paper as if it had done something wrong. Hiori walked in on that scene and smirked.
“Yer little admirer left it here earlier.”
Kaiser eyed the cup suspiciously before eventually deciding to take a sip, sitting down. He looked at the ceiling, trying to make sense of what was happening. Was that guy really just trying to make a move on him? Why was he so desperate? He thought back to a couple days prior, how those eyes followed his every move relentlessly. Maybe it was lust? He was attracted to his beauty and body so this was just a way to land a hookup with him, yet… that didn’t seem correct either. Based on the way he spoke and behaved, it seemed very unlikely. His gaze wasn’t the one of someone who wanted to get fucked by him, it looked just like… he frowned, his fingers tapping on the half empty cup. Admiration. Pity. He put the cup down, shaking his head. Even if the guy looked like someone that could have a savior complex, he shouldn't be behaving like that on a first meeting. It came down to two options then: either he was really empathetic and for some twisted reason felt bad for him just based on guts, or he knew something about him and his past. The latter was really unlikely because no amount of digging could make it resurface, he was the only one still alive that knew the truth, hence it was the first. So someone that feels self fulfilled because they’re helping someone they deem miserable. Great. The worst type. He groaned. It was going to be absolutely hellish.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
The coffee exchange went on for a while. Most of the time, Ness left it on Kaiser’s desk before he arrived, this time though, Kaiser was already there when Ness walked through the door. He smiled softly, his eyes filling with something Kaiser couldn’t quite place. Not admiration nor pity this time, was it gentleness? He got up, walking up to him.
“Good morning.” Ness said softly, handing him the cup of coffee.
Kaiser took it with a nod, his fingers warming where they touched the cup.
“How's work going?”
Kaiser looked at him, his eyes taking in his expression before replying, “Normal, as always. Are you free this evening?”
Ness tilted his head, blinking a couple times. “I am. Why?”
“Wanna get drinks? When does your shift end?”
Ness looked at him with wide eyes before agreeing, “Yeah, sure. My shift ends at 7.”
“Good, I'll pick you up then.”
Ness smiled before checking the time. “I have to go, see you later then.” With that he waved at him and left.
Kaiser sighed, leaning back against the desk. Hiori, who had witnessed the exchange from the other side of the room, raised an eyebrow at him. “What was that?”
“What?” Kaiser asked curtly, glaring at him.
Hiori sighed. “Relax dude, I was just wonderin’. ‘S unusual for ya ta ask people out like that. ‘S there a reason?”
Kaiser rolled his eyes. “I just want him to leave me alone. If his goal was to strike an outing, then he should be satisfied after today.”
Hiori hummed, a sly grin on his lips. “If he was really bothering ya, ya would've told him outright. The Michael Kaiser I know is pretty ruthless with words. I wonder why he gave in this time.”
Kaiser shot him a bone-chilling glare and Hiori raised his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright, I won't pry. I know you must have your reasons. I just thought it would be funny if the one ta melt yer heart was a soft-looking, cavities-inducing sweet twink.”
Kaiser clicked his tongue. “Unfortunately for your sick mind, that’s not it.”
Hiori hummed. “If ya say so. He just looks like a good match tho. Yer manipulative ass is into submissive people.”
“Said the one who's dating fucking Itoshi Rin.” Kaiser replied coldly, unamused. Hiori didn’t have the right to have a say about him given his own twisted preferences.
“He's not manipulative.” Hiori retorted, frowning.
Kaiser snickered. “Sorry, I meant hyper-possessive and with constant mood swings.”
This time was Hiori glaring at him. “He's actually nice, y'know? And he's workin’ on himself. Stop badmouthin’ him just 'cause I've ruffled yer feathers.”
“Then stop trying to butt into my private life.” Kaiser retorter, glaring back.
Hiori sighed, shaking his head, his tone now more serious. “I'll stop then. I was just trying ta make ya think about yer behaviour by poking at ya. He seems like a sweet guy, don't hurt him just because.”
Kaiser bore holes into Hiori's skull. His voice inadvertently raised as he said, “Do you think I fucking do it on purpose, am I that fucking shitty in your opinion?”
Hiori didn’t budge, replying, “Ya don’t do it on purpose, but yer the kind of person that gets defensive when someone tries ta get ta know ya. Ya also like toyin’ with people, making them think they're close ta the real ya, until ya get tired and discard them. ‘S just an observation, but if your exes just called ya a douche and left ya with a slap on the face, it's because ya were decent enough ta choose strong people like that. He's not like that tho and ya know it. Don’t scar him.”
Kaiser glared at him, the urge to punch him in the face getting stronger by the second. “Fuck off, Hiori.” He then put on his jacket and walked out of the shop, lighting up a cigarette to smoke to calm his nerves. He couldn't tattoo like that and he had a booked client in 20 minutes. Somehow he managed to cool enough to get back inside about ten minutes later. After that, the work day went by almost smoothly if not for the way he was outrightly ignoring Hiori.
It was around ten to seven when he left the parlour, walking to the coffee shop around the corner of the street. As he walked inside, he was met with a sweet smell of baked sweets, a warm voice saying, “Welcome!”
He raised his gaze and they made eye contact. Kaiser nodded in his direction, walking to the counter.
“Am I early?”
Ness smiled at him before looking at the time. “Just by a couple of minutes. Do you want anything?”
Kaiser shook his head. “I'm alright.”
“Wait for me here then.” Ness replied before walking into something that looked like a storage room. He came back soon enough, his work apron nowhere to be seen. He smiled at Kaiser.
“Shall we go?”
Kaiser's eyes lingered on his clothes, a warm white fuzzy sweater, black chino pants and a black coat, a blue scarf around his neck. He soon looked away, leading them both outside. It was a cold winter evening, the street lamps casting weird shadows around them. Once again, it looked as if the man by his side was glowing, reflecting the warm light that fell on him.
Ness was following him quietly, looking around curiously. “Where are we going?”
“There’s a nice bar down this street.” Kaiser simply replied, tucking his hands into the pockets of his puffer jacket.
As they approached the end of the street, dim neon lights came into sight. Kaiser led him inside, strong bass lines starting to vibrate through their rib cages, and they sat down on some stools. Ness looked around, eyes big with wonder. The place had neon blue and purple lights and big speakers hidden in the dark corners of the room. It was still quite empty given how early it was, most of the tables, from the ones with the small sofas to the big one near one of the walls, completely clear. The music wasn’t overwhelming, but loud enough to feel your body quiver with it.
“It's a nice place indeed.” Ness said, his eyes focusing on Kaiser’s face, faintly lit by some neon blue.
Kaiser nodded. “What are you taking?”
“A gin tonic I think.” Ness replied after some brief thinking.
“Alright.” Kaiser said before calling over the bartender, placing their order. “A gin tonic, a whisky ginger and something to eat with it.”
Their drinks soon arrived along with some appetizers. Kaiser took a sip before asking, “Have you moved here recently? I don't remember seeing your face around here.”
Ness’ eyes widened slightly and he put down his drink, replying, “Yeah, pretty recently.”
“Was the tattoo to celebrate you moving?”
Ness hesitated, looking at him. “You could say that, yeah.”
Kaiser hummed, his fingers tapping on his glass. He eyed Ness, who quickly looked back at him. The corner of his lip twitched and he drank a little more than half of the glass before asking, “Is there something you wanna say?”
Ness tilted his head, confused. “Why?”
Kaiser rested his chin on his hand before replying, “You keep staring.”
Ness hesitated, his gaze dropping to his glass. He eventually replied, “You just remind me of someone really dear to me.”
Kaiser's eyes narrowed. “Really? Are they a relative?”
Ness shook his head. Once again he had that unreadable expression on his face. That mix of pity, admiration and longing . His thumb glided over the edge of his glass. “More like an old friend I guess.”
Kaiser looked at him, his fingers tapping on the marble counter. “I see…” Was he trying to find a replacement for what he had lost, looking for it in Kaiser? How miserable. He sipped from his drink again. Ness’ gaze was back on him. Kaiser could see him bite his cheek, probably keeping himself from saying something. “What is it?”
“The rose tattoo on your neck… it’s really nice. Did you do it yourself?” Ness eventually muttered.
Kaiser’s fingers grazed it mechanically, he had to stop himself from instinctively grab at it. Ness seemed to notice that motion, his eyes narrowing, but he didn't say anything. “I didn’t. Had someone do it for me…”
“Well, I really like it.” Ness simply replied.
Kaiser just looked away, downing what remained of his drink. He then put down the glass before looking at Ness. “Why the coffee every morning?”
Ness blinked a few times. “You don’t like it?”
Kaiser inwardly sighed, his hand clenching and unclenching around the empty glass. That guy could be really irritating. “I don’t mind. Just why?”
Ness stared at him as if he was asking him the meaning of existence. He eventually replied, “Because you enjoy it… and it's a reason to talk to you and Hiorin… we work close to each other and I've moved recently, so I think it's a good thing to do if I want to fit in…”
He trailed off, his gaze falling to his half empty glass. Kaiser stared at him, his mind trying to process how someone could be that good-natured. He then shook his head, calling the bartender to get another drink. Ness then spoke again. “Have you lived here your whole life?”
Kaiser rested his chin on his hand, his gaze following the movements of the bartender.
“No. I moved here a couple years ago to open the studio and it wasn’t the first time I had changed city.”
Ness hummed, a small smile playing on his lips. Kaiser could swear that he could feel warmth radiating off him. “That sounds interesting… you know, I'm not really someone who enjoys changes honestly…”
Kaiser hummed noncommittally, starting to sip on his new drink. Ness glanced at him, fidgeting a little with his fingers. He glanced away again before muttering. “Say… would you like to do this kind of thing more often?”
“What kind of thing?” Kaiser asked, looking at him. Ness was still avoiding his gaze.
He made a vague gesture with his hand as he replied, “ This , you know, going out together… I want to get to know you better I guess…”
Kaiser just stared at him silently, his fingers tapping on the counter. This whole encounter had been an excuse to make him understand that he had to lay off and stop inserting himself in his life. Was it not clear enough? He closed eyes. He couldn't deny that the guy was amusing , desperate even, yet what were the pros of keeping him around? He looked at him and his gaze met with Ness’, who glanced away. He was fidgeting, his leg bouncing up and down. He thought back to what Hiori had said. He could really see the appeal now, yet… ‘Don't scar him.’ He inwardly rolled his eyes. Hiori should keep his fucking mouth shut sometimes. What if he wanted to toy with him? It's not like someone is capable of loving him either way, so he might as well take what he could.
“Sure.”
Ness’ eyes widened, a smile creeping up his face. “Really?”
“Yeah.” Kaiser replied, his gaze briefly falling on Ness’ lips. He didn’t seem to notice, focused on finishing his drink.
The bar was starting to get crowded, people now filling the tables. At some point the music had been turned up too, some people dancing or rather, grinding, in the middle of the dance floor. He felt Ness’ gaze on him once again.
“What is it?” He asked, making eye contact.
“I… uhm… wanna dance? It seems fun.” Ness replied, looking at the dance floor.
Kaiser's gaze shifted from him, who was squirming on the stool, avoiding eye contact, and the dance floor. He sighed.
“Let me have a couple more drinks first.”
Ness smiled at him. “Sure!”
About half an hour later, Kaiser found himself in the middle of the crammed dance floor. The bar was becoming fuller by the minute, the noise of the chatting almost overshadowing the music. Nevertheless, Ness seemed to be having fun. He was dancing around, enjoying the music. They made eye contact and Kaiser let himself be pulled closer by the wrist.
“You aren’t even trying to dance.” Ness said, smiling.
Kaiser huffed and slid an arm around his waist, pulling him flush against his chest. He looked down, their eyes meeting. “Maybe I just need a partner.”
Ness blushed and looked away. Despite that, they started to dance together, Ness avoiding his gaze. After a couple songs, Kaiser was starting to feel dizzy, the music pulsating uncomfortably through his skull, the neon lights burning his eyes. He grabbed Ness’ wrist and led them both outside. He leaned against a street light, his eyes closed, the cold air of that winter night brushing his face, alleviating the discomfort.
Ness looked at him, worry painted all over his face. “Are you alright?”
Kaiser nodded. After a beat he opened his eyes replying, “I am. I'm just tired.”
Ness walked close to him, examining his expression before saying, “You look tipsy to say the least.”
Kaiser rolled his eyes, straightening up and replying, “I'm fine.”
Ness looked at him, “I'll walk you home.”
“No need.” Kaiser replied, starting to walk in the direction of his house. Ness didn't reply, just following behind him.
Despite Kaiser not wanting him around, Ness was being of help, catching him when he stumbled on some misplaced tile on the pavement, and, thank god, he wasn't talking, hence not fueling the headache that was beginning to pound in Kaiser’s head.
Kaiser eventually stopped in front of an apartment complex. It didn’t seem like a bad place but the street where it was located looked a bit sketchy, the kind of alleway where you would expect to get pickpocketed or find a straggling drug dealer. But it might just be Ness’ imagination. He was brought back to reality when he heard Kaiser cursing while fumbling with some keys, trying to open the front door of the building. Ness appeared beside him. “Need a hand?”
Kaiser glared at him but he didn't stop him from taking the keys from his hands and opening the door himself. In the dark of the night, it seemed once again like there was a soft light radiating off him. He was almost sure he could see the specs of dust in the air around him.
“You’re glowing.” He said as they both walked up the stairs.
Ness giggled. “Am I now?”
Kaiser didn’t reply and looked away. He must be seeing things. They reached his floor and once again he let Ness open the door of his apartment instead of fruitlessly trying to open it himself. They walked inside but Kaiser stopped and looked at him.
“Why are you following me inside?”
Ness smiled. “I wanna make sure you'll be alright before leaving.”
Kaiser clicked his tongue. “I'm not drunk.” Still, he took his shoes off and didn’t say anything when Ness trailed after him. If he wanted, he knew he could tell him to go away, still, that night, in that moment, he couldn't find it in himself to do that.
He crashed down on the couch, the room spinning for a split second. He closed his eyes, massaging his forehead. He could sense Ness crouch down by his side, his soft melodic voice soothing his headache.
“Where do you keep ibuprofen?”
“The cabinet near the mirror in the bathroom.” Kaiser replied, his eyes still closed, his voice hoarse.
Ness hummed and went to look for it. He had to open the door of a few rooms to find it eventually, bringing him a tablet along with a glass of water. He gently tapped his shoulder, muttering, “Here,” and helping him sit up before handing it out. As Kaiser took his time to swallow it down and empty the glass, Ness leaned against the armrest of the couch, looking around.
It wasn’t a big apartment by any means, but large enough to live comfortably alone. While looking for the bathroom, he had found the kitchen, the bedroom and a small storage room. Not so surprisingly, it all looked pretty empty, not in the minimalistic way that it was his station at the parlour, but in a dry, unlived way. There weren't any pictures around, the only signs that someone lived there being the shelves, both in his bedroom and the living room, filled with books to the brim, and some dishes in the kitchen sink. There weren't any distinctive furnitures, carpets, curtains even, that made that place capable of not looking like a freshly acquired apartment.
While Ness was lost in thought, Kaiser looked at him through the corner of his eye. “Still here?”
Ness tilted his head to look at him, blue eyes locking with magenta ones. He briefly bit his lip before saying, “Maybe I should go… you seem alright…”
Kaiser put the glass he was holding down onto the coffee table in front of the couch as his free hand snaked around Ness’ waist, pulling him closer and almost making him fall onto the couch. Kaiser's face was now only inches apart from his. They looked at each other and Kaiser whispered, leaning closer, “You don't have to if you don’t want to. You could spend the night.”
Their lips were a hair’s breadth away but Ness turned away, a blush creeping up his neck. “Maybe another time…”
Kaiser let him go with a sigh and he leaned back against the couch. He could feel an odd warmth spread from where he had touched him. He glanced at him and he was met with a sheepish smile.
“See you tomorrow.”
“See you.”
With that, he closed his eyes. He could hear the muffled sound footsteps walking away and the click of his front door closing. Maybe it hadn’t been that fruitless of a night.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
The next morning, he heard that familiar voice announce itself again as he crossed the threshold of the parlour. He was reading, completely tuning out the sounds, as he waited for his booked client to come. When he didn't sense Ness approaching though, he glanced up and noticed that he was chatting with Hiori. He didn’t listen to their conversation, but took in the fact that it had been quite long. Eventually, he heard a cup being put down on his desk.
“Good morning.”
He glanced up and he was met with a smile. He put his book away and started to sip on the cup. “‘Morning.”
“How’s the headache?”
“Better.” He replied, looking up at him. “Slept well?”
“Yeah, I'm still kinda tired tho…”
“I see.”
Ness smiled at him before saying, “Well, I have to go, see you.”
“See you,” Kaiser replied, resting his cheek against his fist.
Hiori, who had been watching the situation unfold, finally asked, “How did it go yesterday?”
Kaiser didn’t look at him, picking his book back up. “Well.”
“Did anythin’ happen?” Hiori asked again, now standing in front of him.
Kaiser stopped turning the page of his book for a brief second before replying. “Nothing.”
Hiori eyed him before sighing, shaking his head. “Ya know he's head over heels for ya, right? Don't think I didn't see those puppy eyes he gives ya.”
“I know.” He simply replied, looking up at him. “So what?”
Hiori crossed his arms. “He's not aware of yer habits. He's gonna end up heartbroken.”
Kaiser didn’t reply, going back to his book. Hiori's gaze lingered on him before he eventually said, “I've got a client in 10, so I'll leave ya alone, but ya should at least tell him yer not serious about him.”
“That’s none of your business.” Kaiser replied, not even looking at him.
It was around lunchtime when Hiori placed himself in front of him again, staring at him. Kaiser sighed as he was finishing attending a client who just had her whole thigh tattoed, handing her the care instructions. Once she was out of the parlour he finally asked, “What?”
“Let's grab lunch together.” Hiori simply replied, pulling him by the sleeve of his sweater.
Kaiser glared at him. “Why would you want to do that? Besides, don't you usually have lunch with your ‘perfect boyfriend’?” He asked, enhancing the last couple words.
Hiori didn’t budge. “Yep, and yer taggin’ along. I wanna know what happened but I ain’t ditchin’ Rin.”
Kaiser harshly pulled his sleeve away from his grasp. “Hard pass. And stop trying to mess with my life.”
Hiori crossed his arms. “Ya know, I can always ask Alexis for what happened.”
Kaiser flinched for a brief second but quickly masked it with a cough. “Do whatever you want.”
Hiori stared at him. “Ain’t ya worried I might tell ‘im the truth about ya?”
Kaiser tapped his fingers on the desk, his cool façade never falling. “I said do whatever you want. I don’t fucking care.”
Hiori sighed and made his way to the door. “See ya after lunch then.”
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
When Ness saw Hiori walk through the threshold of the café, he smiled at him. “Hey, welcome! What can I do for you?”
“Ya have anything ta munch on fer lunch?” Hiori asked, approaching the counter and looking at the menu hung behind Ness. Behind him followed a tall guy with teal eyes partially covered by bangs.
“We have some savoury crêpes or club sandwiches.” He replied, looking at him. Hiori met his gaze and smiled before turning to look at the other man.
“What do we get, Rin?”
Rin looked back at him before replying, “The club sandwich.”
Hiori hummed before turning back to Ness, “Then make two for us… also two iced teas, whichever you have is alright.”
Hiori paid for lunch, much to a grumbling Rin's dismay, and they took a table near the window. At that time, the café was pretty empty, except for a girl drinking coffee on a stool.
Ness was pretty quick with their orders, soon bringing them to their table. As he was setting down the glasses, Hiori asked, “Got any time for a little chat?”
Ness glanced around before looking back at Hiori, “I'm technically at work…”
“I'll let ya go if any client comes in.”
Ness’ gaze shifted between Hiori and the other guy, who was ignoring him completely, just looking at Hiori. He sighed. “Alright.”
Hiori smiled. “Thanks.” He then glanced at Rin, who looked back at him.
“What?”
“Are ya gonna introduce yerself or shall I do it for ya?”
Rin didn’t reply, shifting his gaze to Ness before briefly saying, “I’m Itoshi Rin, nice to meet you.”
Ness smiled back at him. “Alexis Ness, a pleasure.”
Hiori hummed, looking at Ness. “I hope yer gonna excuse him. He's a little like this sometimes but he's a really nice person. I've been tryin’ ta get him ta loosen up since gettin’ together with him.”
Rin shot him glare, to which Hiori grinned back. Ness looked between them and smiled slightly. “Don't worry, I wouldn't have taken it to heart.”
Hiori smiled at him. “That's nice ta hear, yer really kind… anyways, can I ask ya somethin’?”
“Uhm… yeah, I guess?” Ness replied, a little confused.
“What are yer intentions with Micha?”
Ness tilted his head, even more confused, “Micha?”
Hiori stared at him before huffing out a laugh, “Sorry, I meant Kaiser… I usually call him that when he's not around… he gets real mad. Don't call him that if ya don't want a nasty glare with a side of silent treatment.”
Ness blinked a few times, quietly repeating the question, “My intentions with him?”
Hiori nodded. “Yeah, ya know, he’s a handful.”
“I don’t really mind… he's nice.” Ness replied without hesitation. Hiori and Rin exchanged a glance, the latter seeming to want to say something but he was promptly stopped, a hand reaching for his arm across the table. Hiori cleared his throat.
“Uhm… I don't really know how ta say this, but… are ya looking for anythin’ serious with him? ‘Cause he's not really the type to do serious things, ya know?”
“Uhm… I…” Ness hesitated, the nail of his thumb scratching the corner of the tray he was still holding against his chest, “I had kinda guessed it… but I hope he'll have me around, whether romantically or not…”
Hiori blinked a few times. He had met some of Kaiser's previous hookups before, he knew most of the time they had been charmed by his looks, trying to have it all for themselves. Not that Kaiser cared about that as long as he had someone to use as a distraction. But Ness had been clearly bewitched. That was bad. After a beat of silence Hiori sighed.
“Ya know, ‘s not really my business, but yer gonna end up badly with that mindset. Kaiser’s… pretty difficult as a person… we've been workin’ together for almost 4 years now and I still feel I don’t understand an ounce of him. He's closed off and won't let anyone in, and that's paired with a bad temper… he can be quite the tough choice romantically in the long run.”
There was a beat of silence, but then Ness’ melodic voice came out quietly, as if soothing Hiori's worries. “I… had taken the hint… but I won't back down. I appreciate the worry though, you're a good friend, Yo…”
Hiori looked at him before sighing again. “Alright, I won't try ta tell you off then…” he paused before muttering almost to himself, “I wonder what happened tho, ta make you so whipped. Can't be just looks.”
Ness smiled at him. “I just feel like there's much more to him than what he tries to be perceived as…”
Hiori leaned back on his chair. “Maybe… but sometimes ‘s better if things stay hidden.”
“I'll be careful.” Ness replied, his gaze softening.
Rin, who had been silently listening to the exchange, finally says, “He's a douche, you know? He doesn't deserve the effort.”
Hiori pointedly elbowed him. “Don’t listen ta him, he's got a bone to pick with Kaiser.”
“I'm telling the truth,” he replied, looking straight at Ness, his eyes narrowing, “and you'll end up torn to pieces by him. You're too soft.”
“Rin!” Hiori said in a warning tone, glaring at him. Rin just shrugged. Hiori sighed, shaking his head.
“I know. I'll take the risk.” Ness suddenly replied after an extended moment of silence. He then looked at Rin. “And I don’t know about your relationship with him, but I don’t like people talking about others behind their back.”
Rin looked away, refraining from rolling his eyes after a particularly harsh pinch on his arm delivered by Hiori. “I wasn’t trying to. I was just warning you. He's really the worst sometimes, I wanted you to know that.”
“And that's enough.” Hiori interrupted him, shooting him a meaningful glare before looking at Ness. “Please forgive him. Those two bicker like cats fightin’ for their territory. Rin has some… reservations ‘bout him, hence his judgement isn't completely reliable, even if I can see what makes him say that. I'd say go for it tho if yer so sure. Maybe this'll be the time he changed fer good.”
Ness was about to reply something when a group of teenagers walked through the door. He just smiled at Hiori and Rin, saying, “Thanks for the concern. Now I gotta go though.”
“Sure, lunch break ’s almost over fer us too anyways.” Hiori replied, returning the smile.
Ness soon left them, attending now the other clients. Hiori and Rin finished their lunch, chatting quietly.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
“Are you free this weekend?”
The words hung up in the air as Kaiser sipped from the customary coffee cup. He glanced at Ness, who was looking at him earnestly. He put the cup down.
“Why?”
“I found out there's a nice botanical garden nearby and I thought it might be nice visiting it.” Ness replied, fiddling with the string of his hoodie.
“You like plants?” Kaiser asked, raising an eyebrow. A botanical garden outing is not what he would've expected from the other.
“I'm not really big on them, but it seemed like a nice place nevertheless…” Ness paused, glancing around before adding, his gaze falling to the board of flash-tattoos, “Besides, you seem to like them.”
Kaiser didn’t reply, asking instead, “When?”
Ness smiled, replying, “I was thinking of this Friday's afternoon, is that alright?”
“I'll meet you there then.” Kaiser said, his eyes softening in the slightest, before he diverted his attention to a client that had just walked through the door. Ness took the hint and left.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
Ness was waiting inside the greenhouse of the garden, sitting on a bench under a wisteria. The flowers enveloped the space, their faint smell clinging to the air around him. Kaiser was late. He wasn't all that worried, but he couldn't help but play with the fringes of his scarf, which had been taken off once he got into the greenhouse. He figured it was better to wait there instead of staying in the cold outside. After what seemed like an eternity, but were 20 minutes at most, he saw the familiar figure walking inside and spotting him on the bench.
“Hey.”
Kaiser looked down at him, his lips twitching in displeasure as he said, “There was an issue with a client… someone who didn’t take good care of his tattoo and wanted to sue me for it being ugly… that’s why I'm late.” He carefully left out the part where he would have almost punched him in the face if it weren't for Hiori holding him back and talking the client out of the shop.
“Sounds rough.” Ness replied, looking up at Kaiser. “Good thing you’re here now.”
“Yeah…” Kaiser's gaze lingered around the scenery, the bench enveloped by flowers, before it fell back on Ness. Once again, he could swear the guy had some kind of aura around him. His eyes must be starting to play games on him. He should start to wear glasses more often and not just for reading.
“Is there something wrong?” Ness asked, getting up. Kaiser shook his head.
“No, I was just thinking. Where did you wanna go?”
Ness smiled. “There's the water plants section over there… shall we go?”
Kaiser nodded, following behind him. They ended up looking at every plant in the garden. Kaiser even took some pics when he found flowers he thought would look good as tattoos. It was evening when they finished the tour. Ness was going through the gift shop, Kaiser waiting for him at the entrance, when he spotted a section with bookmarks made with preserved flowers. He found one with wisteria and one with a blue rose. He decided to get them both. Kaiser saw him approach with a small paper bag and looked at it.
“Got anything?”
“Uhm, yeah… actually,” he opened the bag, taking out a small paper envelope and giving it to him, “For you… thought you might like it.”
Kaiser took the envelope and looked inside, his hands stilling for a brief second. He glanced at Ness then back at the bookmark. A blue rose. He put the envelope in the pocket of his coat without saying anything. He looked at the time before looking at Ness.
“Say, wanna have dinner at mine?”
Ness’ eyes widened and he hesitated before replying, “Sounds nice.”
“It's set then.”
Kaiser then walked outside, followed by Ness. They soon reached his apartment. Like the first time Ness came, the house looked pretty empty, the only difference being that it looked cleaner.
“Take your shoes off and make yourself comfortable.” Kaiser said as he walked to the living room, putting on some classic music as white noise while he cooked, before disappearing into the kitchen.
Ness sat down on the couch, the music lost to his ears as he was deep in thought. Kaiser had to look behind his back a few times while he was cooking to make sure the other was still alive and there.
“Is something on your mind?” He eventually asked as he set the table, the semmelknödel cooking in the broth.
Ness jolted, suddenly snapping back to reality. “Huh, yeah, kinda I guess…”
Kaiser walked to the couch, sitting beside him. He glanced at him. “Are you uncomfortable?”
Ness was quick to reply, not breaking eye contact, “Uh, no, not at all… I just have things on my mind, that’s all.”
Kaiser’s eyes narrowed. He didn’t wanna delve into that guy's psyche. He never did that with his hookups, unless it was for the very act of getting the hookup. Asking what was on his mind would just spoil the evening. Ness was a hookup . Nothing more, nothing less. He suddenly thought of the bookmark, still in his coat's pocket, of the blue rose. Ness had probably seen the tattoo on his neck, yet gifting something like that to him without knowing what it meant for him- he closed his eyes, calming down.
“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
Ness smiled softly at him. “Not really… may I ask you something though?”
Kaiser raised an eyebrow. “What is it?”
“Why do you not keep any pictures around? Your house feels kinda… minimalistic.”
Kaiser's expression darkened for a split second before he heard the timer for the semmelknödel go off. He got up, turning off the stove and plating the dish. His back was turned to him as he replied, “I don’t like cluttering. Besides, I don’t have any pictures worth being hung up.”
“Not a picture guy huh?” Ness asked, his expression soft but unreadable as he helped him set the dinner on the table.
“No.” Kaiser replied, sitting down.
Ness was the first one to take a bite of the dumpling, his eyes lightening up. “It’s so good. Did you make them yourself?”
Kaiser took a bite off his own plate before replying, “Yeah, I usually make them when I can. They're pretty quick to do.”
“I didn’t take you for someone who liked cooking.” Ness remarked with a smile.
“I just do it, whether I like it or not.”
Ness glanced at him, a fond look in his eyes. “Well, you’re good at it. You should be praised.”
Kaiser didn’t reply, changing the topic instead, “Did you like the botanical garden?”
“Oh, yeah, it was so nice! The plants were all so beautiful, I'll totally go back when I can.”
Kaiser listened quietly, his gaze falling to the other’s relaxed features, how even while talking his eyes were crinkled and the corners of his mouth turned upwards, as if he was always able to smile no matter the situation.
“I’m glad you’ve enjoyed it.” Kaiser then saw that they were both done with dinner, so he proceeded to put the dishes into the sink, his back turned.
“Did you enjoy it?” Ness asked curiously.
Kaiser glanced back at him, his gaze falling to his lips. “Yeah, but I was busy looking at something more enjoyable.”
Ness’ next words died in his throat, a blush spreading across his face. Kaiser huffed out a chuckle, walking up to him and leaning down, their faces inches apart.
“What? Cat got your tongue?” He asked in a low, teasing tone. He could see Ness squirm under his gaze. He really liked it, making people look vulnerable like that.
Ness cleared his throat, muttering a quiet, “Too close,” before getting up from the chair, trying to put some distance between them.
Kaiser was quick to wrap an arm around his waist, pulling his flush against his chest. Their gazes locked together. Ness' eyes widened, the redness spreading down his neck. Kaiser grinned.
“You’re quite shy despite your extroverted demeanor.”
Ness breathed out, his voice unsteady, his arms weakly wrapping around him, “I- yeah… maybe…”
Kaiser leaned down, their lips barely brushing together before starting to place kisses on his neck, sucking but not enough bruise. Ness closed his eyes, squirming in his hold. When he felt Kaiser’s teeth brush against his neck as his back hit the kitchen's wall, he tensed up, breathing out, “Michael- wait-”
At that Kaiser stopped, giving him a questioning look. Ness bit his lip, his head dropping onto Kaiser's shoulder, his face hidden against his neck.
“Give me a second… and can we go on the couch?”
Kaiser’s grip loosened around him and he slowly made them both walk to the couch, his thumb drawing circles on the other’s lower back. They both sat down, or rather, Kaiser sat down on the couch, while Ness still hid his face, now basically straddling the other’s lap. Kaiser looked at him, almost concerned.
“Are you alright?”
Ness nodded weakly, raising his head at last, a full blown blush on his face. “Yeah…” He fell silent, not seeming able to look at Kaiser. He then began again, still not meeting his gaze, “I'm kinda new to this kind of thing… I don't really want to… do everything…”
Kaiser blinked a few times. Shit. The guy was a virgin. Not completely unexpected, but still. He wanted to slam his head against the wall. He was hoping he would finally be able to blow some steam off, but that did not seem like the case. His hand remained on his lower back, asking, “Is making out ok?”
Ness nodded shyly. He then felt a hand under his chin, their lips meeting in a slow kiss. They soon parted, Kaiser saying, “Stop me if I'm crossing the line.”
Ness replied with a quiet, “Alright,” before another kiss overwhelmed his senses. Kaiser's tongue brushed against his lips and Ness found himself parting them, the kiss deepening and depriving him of air, leaving him breathless. They separated and Kaiser’s mouth soon latched onto Ness’ neck, this time nibbling and biting on the skin, wanting to leave marks. His hand found his way under his sweater and trailed over his back. He could feel Ness shudder in his arms, his breath heaving. As he was now leaving small bites on his collarbone, his hand suddenly brushed against a thicker patch of skin, at the height of his shoulder blades. His touch faltered, his mouth leaving his skin to look at Ness, checking if he had grazed something he shouldn't have. Magenta eyes locked with blue ones and, for a second, it looked as if sorrow heavied Ness’ features. It went as quick as it came, warm and soothing words now being whispered into Kaiser’s ear. “Go on. It’s an old scar, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Kaiser didn’t say anything, now placing soft pecs on his jaw before raising his free hand to his nape, pulling him in for another kiss, his tongue plunging in, drowning everything else out. He hated how Ness’ voice could make his brain shut down, spreading the warm feeling of his touch to every limb. He didn’t want to think about it. It wasn’t worth it.
Despite the roughness, Ness could feel Kaiser’s careful yet deliberate touch, promptly avoiding where he had earlier felt his scars. Soon enough though, he had to push him away, breathless. He was panting, his forehead falling onto his shoulder. As he caught his breath, he could sense that Kaiser was aroused. He weakly glanced at him.
“We should stop here…”
“I agree.” Kaiser quietly replied, his voice a little hoarse.
Ness settled down on the couch beside him, his head back on his shoulder. Kaiser’s hand reached out, starting to mindlessly brush through his wavy locks. At that point, the best course of action would be letting Ness compose himself before sending him home. Despite that rational thought, seeing him almost fall asleep against him, defenseless and warm, made something twist inside him. He nudged him with his shoulder, quietly asking, “Wanna sleep here?”
Ness glanced at him before nuzzling his shoulder. “Yeah… it'd be nice…”
Kaiser brushed through his hair one last time before getting up, saying, “I'm gonna get changed. Do you need me to lend you anything to sleep in?”
Ness straightened against the couch. “Uhm, yeah, if it's not too much of a bother…”
Kaiser nodded and walked into his bedroom. He came back with an oversized hoodie and a pair of sweats, neatly folded, and handed them to Ness.
“I'll be changing in my room, you can use the bathroom.”
“Thank you.” Ness replied with a small smile.
Soon they were both ready for bed. Kaiser walked into the living room, his gaze falling onto Ness’ curled up form on the couch, his clothes slightly big on him.
“You know, if you prefer you can take the bed with me.” Either way, he had accounted for them sleeping together, Kaiser thought.
Ness turned, suppressing a yawn. “I don’t mind taking the couch, I wouldn't wanna impose…”
“You choose, but the couch is clearly too small for you.” Kaiser replied, leaning against the doorway of the living room.
Ness looked at him, seeming to ponder his options before getting up, saying, “I'll take you up on that then.”
Kaiser gave him a nod and walked into his room, Ness following behind. The room had a queen size bed with two pillows. Kaiser laid down, taking the left side. Ness did the same on the right, getting under the blankets, trying to get comfortable. Feeling him shift around, Kaiser glanced at him.
“Are you alright?”
Ness hummed. “Yeah… just trying to find the right position…”
Kaiser turned to lay on his side, making eye contact with him. He grinned slightly, teasing, “Need someone to use as a pillow?”
Ness blushed, looking away. “No need… I'll be alright…”
“If you say so.” Kaiser replied before turning his back to him. Ness did the same, a faint redness covering his face down to his neck.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
The next day, Kaiser woke up early as always. What he did not expect was finding Ness in his arms, curled against his chest. He had probably shifted during the night and they had ended up like that. He sighed, trying to get up without waking up the other. Despite trying his best, Ness still shifted, weakly gripping his PJ shirt. Kaiser stilled, glancing at him, but he seemed asleep. His gaze trailed across his sleeping form before it stopped where the hoodie had risen up, showing his back. He focused where he could see a peek of the two vertical scars he had felt the previous night. It looked as if they started from his shoulder blades and reached down to the upper part of his waist. They almost seemed like surgical scars. He looked away, carefully taking the hand that was gripping his shirt and placing it away before finally getting up. He looked at the time: it was barely 7 am. He sighed, walking to the kitchen to make some breakfast.
Ness woke up around an hour later. Guided by the noise, he walked into the living room, where he found Kaiser already dressed for the day, sitting on the couch while reading a book, the news channel playing in the background.
“Good morning.” Ness said after a yawn.
Kaiser glanced at him, finally acknowledging his presence. “‘Morning. Your breakfast is in the microwave… it’s probably cold by now, you should heat it up… the coffee should still be warm tho.”
“Thanks.” Ness replied with a soft smile on his lips before disappearing into the kitchen.
He came back some time later, dressed in the clothes from the previous day, and sat next to Kaiser, taking a peek at what he was reading: Kafka's Metamorphosis. He smiled slightly. “The eggs were tasty.”
“Glad you've liked them.” Kaiser replied, not raising his gaze from his book.
“Have you been awake for long?”
“About an hour, I don’t need much sleep.”
“I see…” Ness’ gaze fell to the other’s focused face, to the sharp cut of his eyes, how his eyebrows seemed to be slightly furrowed even now, as if he wasn't relaxed despite being in his own house, to the curve of his lips. He looked away, his head falling onto the other’s shoulder, who didn’t budge.
They were in silence like that for some time, Ness mindlessly listening to the news on the TV. Then, suddenly, “You don’t really like blue roses, do you?”
Kaiser paused, his eyes now boring into Ness’, who looked right back at him.
“What makes you say that?”
“Yesterday you reacted weirdly to the bookmark… are they a reminder of someone's death perhaps?”
Kaiser looked away, going back to his book. Then, “They're a reminder of a promise I've made to myself, nothing less, nothing more.”
“A promise?” Ness quietly asks, trying to meet his gaze. Kaiser ignored it.
“A promise that I'll never be stagnant, that I can make the impossible possible.” Kaiser eventually replied, looking up. Soon after saying that, he put the book away, getting up. “We should both start heading to work.”
Ness glanced at the time before nodding, “Yeah, you’re right.”
The walk to work was a comfortable silence, neither of them feeling the urge nor the want to speak. Once they were in front of the café where Ness worked, Ness smiled at him.
“See you tomorrow?”
Kaiser gave him a subtle nod. “See you. Have a good day at work.”
“You too!” Ness replied before walking inside. Kaiser headed to work too.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
Since that day, their encounters outside of work hours had become more frequent. Ness was crashing at Kaiser’s more often than not, they would make out, never going further than that despite Kaiser's subtle displeasure, or, more frequently, just coexist in the same room. They would sometimes watch movies together, or just spend time near each other. For some reason he couldn't quite explain to himself either, Kaiser found Ness’ presence comforting. He was quiet, never meddling where he did not belong, never asking uncomfortable questions, and when he did share by accident, he was never met by pity or concern, despite the very first impression he had of Ness, just by silent understanding, as if he already knew what to do and how to behave.
One morning, after one of their nights together, which had featured a particularly steamy make-out session, that had ended with Ness’ shoulders and collarbone covered in deep bites and hickeys, they were both laying in bed awake. It was early morning but Ness had started to adjust to Kaiser's sleeping habits so well that it was now easy for him to wake up with him. He was curled up against his side, drowsy, his fingers lightly tracing the blue rose on his neck. His gaze was then caught by faint bruises at the base of his neck, shown by the loose collar of the sleeping shirt. It seemed like the kind of bruise you would get from someone choking you. He let his fingers gently brush against it, asking a silent question.
Kaiser, despite not looking at him, could sense the shift in attention. He closed his eyes, sighing. He could feel Ness’ warmth transfer from his body from his from where they were touching. An addicting sensation really, especially when those tender fingers were wrapping around your neck.
“I did it myself. I haven’t been assaulted or anything.” Kaiser eventually said in a low voice. He fell silent before adding, “It’s a way to cope with stress. Once, when I was a kid, my father almost choked me to death. Years apart, I still find comfort in that. It reminds me that I can come out of difficult situations if I try hard enough.”
He didn't know why he had decided to tell him that. He didn’t even know why it felt right to tell him that. When he glanced at him and he was met with an unreadable gaze, that didn’t ask anything from him, he realized that maybe that was why. Ness understood and never demanded for more, just taking everything in. The perfect outlet.
After some time, he could feel his fingers starting to trace his tattoo again. He looked at him and in the light of the early morning, he looked ethereal. Words couldn't describe how much he wanted to see that face broken, completely at his mercy.
“We should make breakfast…” a melodic voice interrupted his thoughts. He cleared his throat.
“Yeah, we should.”
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
As things went on, even Hiori started to notice the subtle changes: how they would, more often than not, walk to work together and how in those occasions, Ness wouldn't bring him coffee anymore, as if they had breakfast together.
“Are ya two fuckin’?” Hiori finally asked one day, leaning against the front desk. Kaiser didn’t look up from the tablet where he was working on a tattoo design.
“No, not really.”
Hiori blinked a few times, staring at him. “Really? That's surprising coming from ya… are ya actually makin’ the effort ta know him?”
Kaiser paused for a split second. He didn’t know anything about Ness, except some trivial things, and Ness barely knew anything about him. Neither of them asked, neither of them pried. Maybe they just both didn’t care. “We just coexist together. And I want to fuck him, but he wants to wait.”
Hiori seemed more confused than before and sighed. “I don’t really know what that means, but it feels like an improvement. He’s stickin’ around longer than the others at least… and ya seem more relaxed, y'know? Ya lash out at me less. ‘S like he has ya under a spell.”
Kaiser glared at him. “He doesn't. Now stop bothering me.”
Hiori grinned, muttering, “Sure, sure,” before leaving him alone.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
“Ya know, I feel like Micha is changin’.”
Hiori was currently at Rin’s apartment, playing a horror game together. His legs were across Rin's lap while his back was on the couch's armrest, his eyes glued to the TV screen.
Rin briefly glanced at him. “What makes you say that, except that he's keeping someone around for longer?”
“It just feel like he's discarded at least two of the shields he had put up to conceal himself… he's also somewhat calmer, not just with me, but with clients too.”
Rin was silent, then, “Yo… don't take me wrong, but I don’t think his essence can change that easily… he might have improved, but changed is a strong word. Besides, a relationship can only do so much if there's no effort coming from the involved party.”
“What a buzzkiller ya are,” Hiori joked, lightly hitting his thigh with his foot, “but maybe yer right… maybe I'm just hoping that he'll keep improving…”
Rin paused the game, finally looking at him. “Why do you care so much about him anyway?”
They stared at each other before Hiori eventually said, “I just feel like he has a lot going on… ‘sides, we're coworkers and share the same space for hours every day, I'm bound to care about him even a little…”
Rin sighed, putting the controller down on the coffee table before pulling Hiori onto his lap, his arms wrapping around his waist and his head falling to his shoulder. “You’re too kind sometimes… he's an asshole through and through, he doesn’t deserve it.”
Hiori hummed, his hand starting to comb through Rin's hair. “Maybe… but yer not easy to deal with either and yet we're here.”
Rin huffed, munching down on his shoulder, not strongly enough to leave a mark, before saying, “Don’t put me on his level. He's much worse.”
Hiori chuckled. “Alright, alright. What I'm trying ta say is that Alexis could be the right person for him.”
Rin didn’t reply at first, leaning against the touch of Hiori’s hand. He closed his eyes, sighing before saying, “I just have a bad feeling about it, Yo… wouldn't want you getting hurt in the crossfire… willingly or not, you seem kinda close to both of them…”
Hiori smiled before turning around to peck his lips. “I'll be alright, don't worry.”
Rin looked at him, his teal eyes scanning for any trace of lying before finally giving in, his arms wrapping tighter around his waist. “Alright.”
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
It was an early Sunday morning. Sunlight was seeping through the curtains, bathing the whole room in warm hues. Kaiser sat cross-legged on his bed, staring at Ness’ sleeping form. It was the first time he had stayed overnight when they both didn’t have work the next day and Kaiser didn’t really know what to do other than making breakfast like always. Probably feeling his gaze on him, Ness turned, stretching his arms out of the blankets, his eyes slowly opening.
“Good morning…” Ness muttered drowsily before yawning.
“Morning.” Kaiser replied, still looking at him.
Ness noticed and slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. “Are you alright?”
“I am.” He replied quietly, his gaze falling to Ness’ exposed wrist. It had been a couple months but the tattoo had healed well. Ness followed his eyes and smiled slightly.
“I really like it, you know? Even more now than when you did it.”
“I'm glad. Your skin takes ink well, you should do more.” Kaiser replied, meeting his gaze.
Once again there was that look in his eyes, the look he noticed he reserved only for things that reminded them of him . Whoever ‘him’, the old friend he had mentioned back at the bar, was. He had never brought up the topic again, but Kaiser had guessed the moving and the tattoo were related to him. And that circled back to Kaiser himself. Whoever that person was, it was the reason Ness had taken an interest in Kaiser in the first place. He didn’t really care honestly, either way, he was the one gaining the benefits of the situation. While lost in thought, he felt a pair of lips gently brush against his. He instinctively wrapped an arm around Ness, pulling him into his lap while deepening the kiss, his tongue plunging into his mouth. His hand slid under his hoodie, touching him right above the waistband of the sweats he had borrowed from Kaiser, while the other pulled him close by the nape. Ness was struggling to keep up with the pace, eventually pulling away, breathless, but not before Kaiser got to bite his lower lip, drawing some specs of blood, leaving it swollen.
“Energic since the very morning…” Ness joked in a breathy voice, his chest rising up and down.
“You’re the one who started it.” Kaiser pointed out, licking his lips.
“I did not expect you reacting like that…” he muttered, red starting to dust his cheeks.
Kaiser smirked, quipping right back, “You did not pull back.”
Ness sighed. “Fair enough, point taken.”
Kaiser huffed out a chuckle, then, “I'll make breakfast.”
As he moved to get out of bed, he felt Ness’ grip on his waist, pulling him back. “Wait.”
Kaiser stopped, turning to look at him, and raised an eyebrow. Ness hesitated, his words dying on his tongue as he was being scrutinized by those blue eyes he cherished so dearly. He looked away, not able to hold his gaze.
“I wanna do it.” He eventually murmured, his voice barely audible.
Kaiser paused, his eyes widening ever so slightly. “Right now?”
Ness just nodded, letting go of his wrist. Kaiser climbed back onto the bed, one of his hands finding his waist while the other pulled him by the chin, so that they were now facing each other. Kaiser started to kiss down his neck, leaving a couple marks before his hand moved from his waist to under the hoodie, raising the hem to take it off, when he felt a hand being placed on his, stopping him. He looked up: Ness was avoiding his gaze.
“Michael… can I tell you something before we get to it?”
Kaiser straightened up, now focused only on his face. It was not a development he had expected, but he was willing to listen. “Sure.”
Ness bit his lip, twiddling with the fabric of the sweats beneath his fingers. After looking at Kaiser one last time, he turned around before taking off his hoodie. Kaiser silently took in the sight of his bare back, glistening in the morning light, with two deep scars going from his shoulder blades to the beginning of his waist. They looked even worse than they felt, almost as if someone had torn the skin of his back.
“What do you think they are?” Ness’ voice came quietly, almost unsure.
Kaiser pondered the answer for a short while. “An accident maybe? You fell through something that shattered and had shards piercing your skin?”
Ness didn't reply, turning his head around to meet Kaiser’s gaze. Kaiser could swear that he looked scared, as if he dreaded what he was about to tell him.
“Will you believe me even if it sounds crazy?” Ness asked after a beat of silence. Kaiser sighed, starting to grow annoyed.
“Whether I believe it or not isn't important, is it? You'll tell me either way as long as I listen.”
Ness smiled slightly. He took a breath before muttering, “I'm not actually human.”
Kaiser stared at him, raising an eyebrow skeptically.
Ness hesitated before adding quietly, “I'm kind of what you call a guardian angel… your guardian angel.. I was at least…”
The silence started to stretch, Kaiser never leaving his figure. The guy was probably mad, he rationally knew it, yet a weird itch was starting to form beneath his skin. He didn’t like it. Even if Ness was a guardian angel, it couldn't be his . No way he had a guardian angel ever in his hellish life. If he had it, then it hadn’t done its job properly. It wouldn’t deserve anything. Still, a hidden part of him prompted him to ask, “Do you have any proof?”
Ness looked at him before quietly replying, “The scars on my back are from getting my wings torn away… also the ‘glowing’ you've noticed is a residue of my grace… also-”
Ness trailed off, his back facing Kaiser once again. When he looked back at him this time, Kaiser couldn’t help but lower his gaze, frozen. The sheer aura of that being in his bed was enough to make him feel cold sweat run down his back. Another three eyes had appeared on his face, his hair was shimmering in tones of gold. He then heard a voice, almost a song echoing right through his head, only for his ears.
“This is what I can do with the remains of my grace, which is what made me a divine being. It's a half form, but it should be enough proof.”
He the saw a golden light with the corner of his eye before feeling a soft hand raising him by his chin, magenta eyes crinkling at his sight.
“Are you alright?”
Kaiser stared at him in silence before saying, “There’s no proof you’re my guardian angel.”
Ness sighed, sitting up. “Fair enough. I've been by your side for your whole life, feel free to ask me anything.”
Kaiser looked at him suspiciously, “Why don’t you tell me something only I would know?”
Ness fell silent. There were obviously plenty of things he could tell him, but how far was he willing to dig up the past? He glanced at Kaiser before hesitantly saying, “When you told me about your father… the reason why he was choking you was because you couldn't steal a pack of milk… that is also related to the reason why you don’t drink milk even now…”
Kaiser stilled, staring at the being sitting on his bed. There was no rational way he could know about that, he had never told anyone. If that was true, then it meant- he started to chuckle, a harsh sound, lacking any humour. “Holy shit- you are fucking crazy… you've really been there the whole time, haven’t you?”
“I have, that was what-”
“You’re sick, you know?”Kaiser interrupted him, staring at him, “You had been there this whole time, and yet you've never done anything? And you meddle now into my life, acting as if I'm everything to you?”
“Michael, please-” Ness tried to interject, reaching out to touch Kaiser’s shoulder.
“Shut the fuck up!” He shouted, glaring at him, avoiding his touch. “You were there while he was beating me until I passed out every day, and you did nothing! You’re a goddamn angel and you did nothing! And now you're trying to make me feel loved ? Are you fucking crazy?”
“Michael, please, listen-” Ness said as soon as Kaiser fell quiet, “I couldn’t do anything . I couldn’t interfere with your realm without risking my place as your guardian angel. Why do you think you're still alive despite the constant beating? Who do you think granted you nice dreams whenever you closed your eyes? I couldn’t give up my place at the time, that was the best I could do.”
“Then why are you here?” He asked, his eyes hard, carrying a deep hatred. “Why have you sought me out? Why are you doing this ? Why are you even on earth?”
“Michael-” Ness took a deep breath before starting to speak again, a look of pity in his eyes “I was given a choice now that your life was stable: move on to someone else or give up my status to descend here on earth. I chose the latter. I wanted to grant you what I never could when you were younger. I wanted to make you feel loved and cherished. I gave up my grace, I had my wings torn from me just so I could meet you. You’re an amazing human being, I just want to finally see you happy.”
“And you thought the best way to do that was getting in my bed?” Kaiser exclaimed. “Did you even fucking think about it? Besides, what makes you think I could ever love you . You've been watching over me my whole life, you should know better.”
“It’s because I've been watching over you that I thought this was the best way-” Ness retorted, his eyes wide. “Haven’t you been enjoying these past weeks? I thought-”
“You thought what?” Kaiser was staring at him, his glare venomous. “That I would love you just because we've spent time together? Do you think I'm even wired to love? After everything? Are you being fucking serious?”
“We could work through it together, you've been through so much, but-” Ness tried to say, his voice wavering. Deep down, he knew that Kaiser was broken under a lot of aspects. But he was an angel. He could piece him together someway. There had to be a way.
“Have you ever considered whether I even wanted that? Even if you made me able to love, who should I love? Another human being, who will probably hurt me as soon as they get the chance? You ? A being who is made to love and be compassionate and that can't do anything else? Do you think that would work?”
“I am my own being.” Ness said, yet his hands trembled where they were resting on his knees.
“You’re an angel . Angels can't hate. Maybe you like me more than you like the average human, but you can't love me if you don’t know how to hate.” Kaiser stated, his voice cold. He then got closer, harshly grabbing him by the chin, his thumb pressing against his lower lip. “What if I were to hurt you now? To make you miserable? Would you hate me?”
Ness eyes widened, something akin to fear crossing them. “Michael-”
“Answer.” Blue eyes bore into magenta ones, carrying the weight of the question with them. Ness realized that Kaiser was not afraid to hurt him. He looked away.
“I wouldn't. I'm the whole reason you're like this.”
Kaiser clicked his tongue, pushing him away, Ness’ back hitting the mattress. "Pathetic."
He got up from the bed, walking out of the room. Before doing so, he stopped on the doorway, sparing Ness one last glance. “Get out of my sight. I don’t want to see you ever again.”
“Michael-” Ness' eyes were glassy, his voice wavering.
“Don’t call me that. Get out. When I come back I better not see you still there.” He then walked away, locking himself into the bathroom.
Once he came back, the bed was done, the borrowed clothes neatly folded on top of it, the window open, the fresh breeze of a late winter morning spreading across the room. The swansong of winter made the cool seep into his bones as he stood in the doorway, the morning light not enough to warm him. He soon left the room, chills running across his body.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
Days passed. Ness never showed himself again. At the parlour, Hiori had started to ask questions. Kaiser was preparing the station for his next client, yet the cyan head kept buzzing around him
“What happened? Why’s not comin’ around anymore? Did ya two fight? I couldn’t find him at the café either.”
Kaiser harshly slammed his hands onto the counter where he kept his tools, the inks shaking inside the bottles. He glared at Hiori.
“He's probably moved out and he won't contact us anymore. Forget about him.”
Hiori stared at him. “What did ya do?”
He was soon met with a cold glare, a shiver running down his spine. “I said forget about him.”
Hiori shot him one last questioning glance before leaving him alone.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
Weeks passed and the questions died down. Hiori, once he had understood in the first couple days that he wasn't getting anything out of Kaiser, stopped asking. For some weird phenomenon, Hiori had started to forget about Ness, as if the memory of the angel was slowly being erased by his mind.
✮⋆˙✮⋆˙✮⋆˙
Weeks turned into months and Spring arrived. As he walked to work, Kaiser stopped, a forget-me-not growing in between the tiles of the pavement, bathing in the morning light. He crouched down, looking at it. A distant memory, alike to a dream, came into his mind. A tattoo he had done in the past perhaps, he couldn't quite remember. He decided to pluck the flower, storing into the copy of Notes from the Underground he kept in his bag. As he got up, he felt as if a warm hand had brushed his neck. He turned around, the road empty behind him. He shook his head, soon resuming his walk to work.