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I've been dating my boyfriend Clown for 2 years now, and everything felt normal until my best friend, Rekrap, stayed over at the base last weekend after a particularly bad battle between himself and Mapicc.
Every night, Clown asks me to pat his head before falling asleep.
It first started about 3 or so years ago when we were both designing and building the casino, when he couldn't sleep from stress. As we got closer and he started to trust me more, he started to open up about some of his problems and worries, and I made it my mission to help him.
I tried various methods, such as convincing him to limit how many people he tries to fight, although as much as I wouldn’t like to admit, this method did not work nor last long at all. I also tried getting him to sleep earlier, but that didn’t work either, often finding the jester patrolling the lone halls of the partially built casino during the early hours of the morning, often scaring the living daylights out of the man.
I struggled finding ways for him to de-stress, but it started to come together when we started dating a few months later, after we had gotten considerably closer, and I started to fall for the masked man.
I remember it vividly- I was terrified. I was working on redstone underneath the floors, late one evening, trying to get the power to supply the whole building, when I finally heard his soft footsteps coming from behind me. The small area was only illuminated by a single torch, so I heard him much before I saw him.
I stopped what I was doing to stand up and look at the taller man, who was now only a few feet away from me. I will reiterate, again, I was scared. I called him down because I wanted to talk to him. To tell him how I felt. I knew if my feelings weren’t reciprocated this conversation would not go down well.
To say the least it did. Which was very surprising for me indeed. I was already preparing myself for rejection, honestly thinking he was on the aroace spectrum, where soon learnt I wasn’t too far off I guess, with him telling me rather shyly he is demisexual, as well as bisexual. But I could still barely wrap my head around him actually being into men. But I had been proven wrong before, and this incident was added to that list.
A few weeks into our dating, after he decided he could trust me not to kill him in his sleep, he allowed me to sleep with him. He also felt comfortable to take his mask off around me, which is also a pleasure, knowing he feels safe with me making me feel content and successful. And on that night, I ran my fingers through his hair, and he fell asleep almost instantly.
Now it's our nightly ritual.
Rekrap noticed it first when he was cooking himself dinner in our kitchen, and Clown and I were in the lounge room, lying on the couch together. Clown laid his head on my lap, and whispered "Can you pat my head, Branzy?"
I didn't think twice about it at that moment, but he pulled me aside the next morning, and confronted me about it. He asked if I thought it was strange that a grown man needed his head patted to go to sleep. I hadn't thought about it that way before. I just thought of it as a way of Clown to stop stressing and be able to sleep peacefully, as well as a cute thing we did together.
So last night, I tried something. When he asked me to pet his head, I pretended to be absorbed in my book. A deadly move, I know. It’s not the best idea to tickle a dormant dragon, is it?
He didn't say anything at first, but slowly shifted closer.
After a while, he gently nudges his head against my arm, waiting another minute, before whispering "Please?"
I watched him lying there fighting sleep, but refusing to drift off without our little ritual.
Maybe it is weird, maybe we're both a little broken, but when I finally put my book down and ran my fingers through his hair, watching the way he instantly relaxed, and gave in, soon falling asleep cuddled up against me, while I still run my fingers through his short, soft, brown hair.
It was now I realized I don't really care what anyone else thinks.