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The place was empty, dark, and felt abandoned due to Shadow Milks lack of appearance. Black Sapphire and Candy Apple had spent their alone time playing card games and starting more juicy rumors in the cookie kingdoms.
Candy Apple constantly threw herself at Shadow Milks door and Black Sapphire had to constantly drag her away like some single mom with a spoiled kid… poor black sapphire.
Shadow Milk didn’t plan on leaving his humble room anytime soon. And probably hasn’t eaten in days at this point. It’s not like he would be bothered by the feeling of starvation, since his body is more focused on more important or invasive feelings. And perfectly on the topic of Pure Vanilla cookie.
Black Sapphire was able to see through Shadow Milks Denial whenever he laughed and mocked Pure Vanillas idea to be his friend. He didn’t need Pure Vanilla, at least that’s what he told Candy Apple and Black Sapphire. But sooner or later Black Sapphire would tell Candy Apple about the lords undeniable feeling for Pure Vanilla.
A bunch of thoughts ran through his head. What was happening to him? Why was he feeling this way? Is it forced? Will? Why won’t Candy Apple leave him alone? Where is Pure Vanilla when he needs him— huh? No wait! That isn’t a question. He growled in frustration, gripping the roots of his hair. The answer to solving the problem would be simple if he knew what it was… he knew the feeling. Obviously. But he didn’t know why he couldn’t get rid of it… he’s been in denial about Pure Vanilla before, he managed to draw his attention away from that oddly nice, gentle, sweet man. But this time it was impossible. Plus, how is he supposed to when such sappy thoughts are running through his head?
He wasn’t going to bother asking Black Sapphire. Nope, NEVER! He would probably figure out the situation immediately and laugh at him because he’s having such thoughts! Shadow Milk couldn’t handle the thought, the thoughts. He paced his room endlessly. Maybe he could just pass out for a whole day and it will be magically gone?
’Why… why is this so complicated? What’s wrong with me?… Why is he the one invading my mind?! It’s not like he’s special or anything!’ He thought to himself. Suddenly a gentle knock managed to break his thoughts. He looks back at the door, it was too soft to be Candy Apple… not like she ever knocks anyways…
“Y-yes?…” He carefully brushed his chaotic hair back. He approached the door, opening it slightly. Awaiting outside was Black Sapphire… thank the wi- oh… never mind Candy Apple was there too. He groaned, afraid Candy Apple might jump on him like a dog seeing its owner. Shadow Milk opened the door more, Pure Vanilla suddenly entered his view as he creaked open the door. He let out a loud, shocked, audible, embarrassed, almost offended gasp. He stared at Pure Vanilla for a second. Then looking at Black Sapphire…
”what is this?…” (Hamilton reference) He asked with a threatening tone. Shadow Milk saw that sly smirk on the now proud Black Sapphire.
”Since you look a bit stressed I would assume you would need someone to talk to! Pure Vanilla is the best of the best from what we’ve heard… perhaps you can sort out your issues and come back to me and Candy Apple?” The dark, tall man spoke teasingly. He knew that Shadow Milk had feelings for Pure Vanilla, but it was evident on his on his face that Black Sapphire was clueless about the Jesters thoughts. He looked back at Pure Vanilla, he didn’t look too ecstatic to be here either. It was mostly just awkward tension since the last time he saw Shadow Milk, he was trying to terrify Pure Vanilla in a dream. Pure Vanilla smiled lightly at Shadow Milk, waving.
”you…. You what?!” Shadow Milk yelled, there’s no way Black Sapphire would set him up like this… he must be dreaming! “you know I-… Pure Vanilla!! I hate him! What makes you think this pathetic fool would help me?!” He hissed with his words.
”well since you’ve been…” Black Sapphire paused, looking the Blue Jester up and down. The gesture made Shadow Milk infuriated. “—more… aggressive than usual. I think it’s best for you to talk to someone.”
Shadow Milk looked back at Pure Vanilla. They share a soul jam, it makes him wonder if that innocent, gentle soul staring right back at him can feel his emotions, know his thoughts. Would that be possible?
”w-well send him back from where he came from! I’m fine I’m just—“ Shadow Milk paused, thinking of an excuse. “I just need to regain some of my powers…”
Black Sapphire raised an eyebrow. A sudden noise coming from Candy Apple.
“Liar Liar Pants on fire! Black Sapphire can see right through your lies, see how much better I am!?!? I—“ Candy Apple was suddenly cut off as Black Sapphire covered her mouth.
“it’s best we get going..” He rolled his eyes, dragging Candy Apple down the hallway. Leaving Pure Vanilla and Shadow Milk alone. The Jester stared at Pure Vanilla in silence… walking backwards into his room and trying to shut the door. But the door was stopped by Pure Vanillas hand.
”I didn’t come all this way for nothing, did I?” He asked. Tilting his head. “I would appreciate if we could get on better terms… we’re already quite fine with each other. But obviously there’s still things bothering you.” He slowly stepped in the room, closing the door behind him.
”seriously, what makes you say that? I just don’t like you, of course I’m bothered!” The Jester rolled his eyes, stepping away from Pure Vanilla.
“I could tell you’ve been acting differently towards be for the last couple of days. You’re being much more rude and not tormenting me as much…” He nervously chuckled. Causing a faint blush to rise on Shadow Milks face.
”…you… you noticed?…” Shadow Milk snickered in disbelief. But the healers face looked genuine. Pure Vanilla softly nodded before speaking again.
”would you like to talk about it? I’d like to be closer to you…”
‘get closer?… gosh, I think I’m close enough with those thoughts of mine… ’ Shadow Milk thought to himself. He adverted his gaze, that warm, invasive feeling twisting like a knot in his stomach again. Just then he realized the blush on his face, just as he was about to raise a hand to cover his face. Pure vanilla softly grasp the back of his hand, sending a shiver down his body. A small mewl of panic escaped his throat as his body tensed.
”sorry… did I startle you?” Pure Vanilla questioned, loosening his grasp. He slowly opened his eyes, his beautiful blue and yellow eyes looking right back into Shadow Milks. Almost immediately, Shadow Milk felt urgency to escape, but he also wanted to stay. It was something about the healers touch that made the anger in his body fuel like crazy, but also gave him a tint of relief. He hasn’t been touched in years, decades.. many years. But to be touched like this, in a time like this, when he feels like this… it was a whole other message. The feeling of Pure Vanillas gaze setting on his flushed faced sent him into a panic. Just the feeling of his eyes made him blush more, it was far past saving, he’s already seen his face.
“I… yeah.. sorry I just wasn’t looking.. w-wait— WHO gave you the right to touch me?!?!” His denied pleasure snapped back into anger. The blush on his face still evident. But he never removed his hand out of Pure Vanillas gentle, soothing grasp.
“ah, sorry. I wasn’t thinking about that. Please forgive me..” He nervously smiled, removing his hand from Shadow Milks. Pure Vanilla hasn’t considered if Shadow Milk even likes to be touched. Last time when he placed a supporting hand on his shoulder, Shadow Milk was infuriated. However, there was no evidence he wasn’t denying it. As Pure Vanilla pulled away from touch, Shadow Milk looked down at his hand. That sudden warm, pleasant feeling of relief was gone and the feeling in his body returned to just suffering and desperation. The feeling was written on his face, there was no hiding it from Pure Vanilla. The Jester looked back up at Pure Vanilla, a moment of awkward silence falling upon them before the Healer spoke up.
”You haven’t eaten for a while, have you? Let alone leave your room.”
The sudden confrontation left Shadow Milk speechless, could he really tell?
“I… suppose not… I don’t really have an appetite…” Shadow Milk admitted shyly. Letting his hand fall back down to his side. Pure Vanilla caught his hand in falling, sensing his urgency for touch. He tensed once more at the touch. There’s no way he could possible enjoy this… he doesn’t like Pure Vanilla.
“you should really eat today if possible, please?” The Healer inspected The Jesters hand, caressing his palm with his thumb. This caught Shadow Milk off guard. Really only Black Sapphire reminded him to eat properly and take care of himself. The mix of sappy and intimate thoughts as he glanced at Pure Vanilla threw him off his game, way off. Was there even any use to hide it? It’s like Pure Vanilla could read him so easily, maybe because they were almost the same.
“it’s not like I care about what you want from me… I’m just sorting things out! I don’t need to eat.” He groaned, adverting his gaze once more. But he can’t erase that blush off his face.
“Then can you at least sleep properly? You look tired. Can you tell me what’s wrong? I can help you no matter what it is.” Pure Vanilla said sincerely, placing a hand over his heart. But from the healers perspective, he could already partially tell what was wrong. Not exactly, but he definitely got the jest of it. Shadow Milk looked angry again, removing his hand from Vanillas.
“help? Help me?! How could YOU help me? Stop acting as if you like me.. acting as if I like you!!” He shook his head. He wouldn’t stop to even consider following his feelings.
Pure Vanilla gently placed a hand on the Jesters cheek, sending him into a fury of different emotions.
”I like you. And I want you to like me… so we can be friends.” He spoke softly.
‘ friends…? How could he touch me like this and then ask to be just friends?! ’ The words reeled in his head. He hated the warm feeling as he touched him. Well, he hated having the feeling. There was no possible way he could ever have feelings for Pure Vanilla! His mind was in ruins, this was all just a big misunderstanding. He didn’t like him, he doesn’t like him, he won’t like him, he can’t love him, he’s his enemy. They were so perfect to be enemies, how could he like him? So why was he thinking to way. He can’t be friends with him… there’s no way! He hates him, he hates him so much. He took his soul jam. He took what he was. He IS what he was. He hates him!
how can he sit there and ask me to be friends? I hate him… how can he, a beloved ancient possibly like me? How can he be so perfect? Why, why does he like me? Don’t like me !’ He didn’t want to say anything. He was at a loss for words. It was torture. He’s constantly in his head, as if their roles have switched. His constant thoughts rambling were shattered like glass as Pure Vanilla spoke again, placing his second hand on his opposite cheek.
“Do you need a hug?”
He said in a gentle voice. Something in his voice felt so safe it almost disgusted Shadow Milk. But it was overpowered by the feeling of need and desperation. He looked down at his feet, pondering. Then looking back up at The healer before him that was holding him so gentle. He couldn’t reply, he felt as if he wasn’t in the right to answer such a question.
“Do you want a hug?”
He asked again. But it sounded different. Silence filled the room, it was deafening. Shadow Milk hesitantly nodded, his face facing down, adverting his gaze as his bangs fell and covered his eye. Pure Vanilla gently moved his bangs out of his face, carefully hugging Shadow Milk. But he didn’t reciprocate the gesture. He stared down at the floor on the Healers shoulder. His vision suddenly became blurry as tears welled up in his eyes. Shadow Milk remained quiet. Getting caught crying would be devastating. How long was it since he’s been hugged? Has he ever? He tries to remember but even before the beasts corrupted and fell, they never reciprocated such gestures. Let alone the only feeling he’s ever had was a hand on his shoulder, harmful or gentle. Pure Vanilla tightened their embrace softly, almost like a gentle reminder that the jester could cry if he needed. Shadow Milk shakily raised his arms, wrapping around Pure Vanilla in return. Just as tears were about to pour like rainfall from his glazed blue eyes, a certain very annoying cookie broke down the door.
“ARE YOU GUYS DONE YET?!?!”
Candy Apple yelled, stepping into the room. Black Sapphire followed behind her, groaning. Shadow Milk quickly removed his arms, pushing Pure Vanilla off of him. Candy Apple gasped, yelling once more. “OH MY WITCHES!! Black Sapphire you were right they’re making out!”
”The hell?!? When did I say that?!?!” Black Sapphire picked up Candy Apple with ease, shaking her. Pure Vanilla turned towards Shadow Milk. Speaking with a light chuckle.
”is there something I need to know?” He smiled light heartedly. Shadow Milks face became flushed once more.
“What?! You know what! Everyone out!”
He quickly wiped his running black makeup from under his eyes away. Then pushing Pure Vanilla out the door with Black Sapphire and Candy Apple. Pure Vanilla let it happen, waving at Black Sapphire with a warm welcoming smile. Before Candy Apple could speak, Shadow Milk slammed the door shut. Followed by silence, they all looked at each other then at the healer.
“so, anything new?” Black sapphire asked, tossing Candy Apple onto the floor.
”hm… well… I didn’t know he wears mascara..”