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“I want to date Jeon Jungkook.”
Jeongguk laughs, because what else is he supposed to do?
He's live right now, thousands of ARMY around the world watching him happily. He can't do anything else except laugh and call Namjoon crazy for typing that out and sending it for everyone to see.
If Namjoon had said that to a younger version of Jeongguk years before, perhaps he would've genuinely gotten flustered, naively believing that Namjoon was actually confessing his secret love for him or whatever. He probably would've gotten too excited and blurted out that he ‘loved him too’ on live, forever documented on the internet for him to look back on and cringe at.
Thankfully, Jeongguk's matured. Not only that, but he's moved on. Moved on from his stupid immature crush on Kim Namjoon.
…
Okay, that's a shitty lie.
Jeongguk hasn't moved on. He pretends like he has, tries to convince himself after every interaction with Namjoon that he doesn't like, no, love him like that anymore. He certainly tries not to entertain the ridiculous possibility that Namjoon could ever feel that way back, to the extent that Jeongguk feels for him.
So, maybe he can't move on from his feelings, but he can deal with the misery of unrequited love better. The teenage boy who used to cry himself to sleep whenever Namjoon talked about girls is now a fully grown man who can suck it up and listen to Namjoon vent to him about his relationship issues.
It's fine. He's fine. Namjoon's just trying to mess with him on live. Maybe he's drunk and accidentally made that message about him instead of some other secret lover of his that Jeongguk doesn't know about (because he's not obligated to know) and just so happened to send it over his livestream chat. Maybe it's a stupid fucking reach, but it can't be more stupid than believing it's a real, genuine message that Namjoon means. Come on now. Jeongguk's not an idiot anymore.
So, he just laughs, calls Namjoon crazy, and moves on. Actually moves on. Just like how he moved on from his earlier message about “getting drunk on his voice”. And he continues to move on when he can see Namjoon's messages from the corner of his eye calling him “baby”, his “chic boy”, saying that he's “cute”.
What the hell is up with him tonight?
He's clearly drunk. There's just no other way, no other reason for his behavior. Jeongguk tries not to think about why Namjoon's drunk self decided to sit by and watch his livestream.
It doesn't mean anything, and it never will.
Namjoon has to leave eventually and it's probably the first time in Jeongguk's life that he's grateful for it. Jeongguk bids him farewell in the most natural unsuspecting way he's capable of, downing the rest of his drink to keep down the ache in his heart.
“I love Jungkook.”
Whatever. Whatever. What fucking ever.
Namjoon leaves, or at least Jeongguk assumes he's gone now. And of course, because his head is buzzing and the alcohol is fucking with his brain, he's suddenly running his mouth about how Namjoon was the only thing on his mind when he showed up.
He's not lying, but why was he saying it? God damn it, why would he say that? Namjoon's probably still around, too. At the very least, he's going to see that clip of his confession one way or another.
Fuck.
Jeongguk needs to get out of here. Now.
Restroom. Restroom break. Yeah, that's what he'll say. He just needs to go to the restroom and he'll come back later when he gets his head in check again. Perfe-
“Jungkook, I'm sorry. I came back to say this.”
Jeongguk doesn't try to hide the flinch that goes through his body at the sight of those words. Namjoon's back. Why is he back? Was he here the whole time?
Shit, shit, shit!
What is Namjoon saying sorry for? Sorry for what? What on earth could he possibly be sorry for? The messages from earlier? Was that it? Surely, that must've-
“Hurry up and work on music and release an album.”
Oh.
Oh, okay. So Namjoon was just talking about his music. Cool. That's cool.
Jeongguk can't tell if that makes him feel better or worse.
Before he can even say anything more, Namjoon is leaving again. For good, this time, or so it seems.
Huh.
He stays live for a little longer, talking about something that he doesn't even understand himself. It probably makes sense, but he's too lost in everything to make sure. Something about trusting himself and his self-confidence or something along those lines.
How painfully ironic when he can't even trust his heart right now.
Jeongguk ends the live. He keeps up his cheery demeanor for a minute or so even after he stops filming out of paranoia before flipping his phone over, face down on the table. He sits there for a moment, the lights of his galaxy lamp continuing to slowly rotate around the apartment.
His eyes linger on his phone. His fingers twitch. The urge to just text or call Namjoon to ask what the hell his deal was earlier creeps up on him, but he pushes it away as soon as he recognizes it.
What's the point? Why bother? Namjoon is probably drunk out of his ass right now anyway. Neither of them is going to benefit from a conversation right now.
Why does there even need to be a conversation? Why does Jeongguk care? He doesn't, but he does. He shouldn't, but maybe he should.
No, he shouldn't.
He shouldn't… but he does?
No, he doesn't. And he never will.
Jeongguk can feel his head starting to ache from his internal conflict. Fuck, he's just tipsy. He wouldn't feel like this if there wasn't a drop of alcohol in his system. Yeah, blame it on the alcohol. Classic defense.
…
Now that he thinks about it, he kind of does have to piss.
Oh well, he has to change regardless. He promised ARMY with another outfit. That was also the overall plan before he started this string of lives. He had everything planned, really. Ironic considering his whole spiel earlier about “not planning things”.
Small lies never hurt anyone. It's the big ones that take care of that.
Jeongguk would know a thing or two.
With a long, exasperated sigh, he shakily gets out of his chair and slowly makes his way to his restroom. Maybe emptying his bladder and changing out of his now sweat-covered clothes would clear his shitty mind.
Maybe.
ཐི𖹭𖹭ཋྀ
One over 45-minute live later, Jeongguk concludes that no, neither of those things cleared his mind.
The worst part about crushes is that your crush just can't seem to leave your thoughts the fuck alone. It feels like Namjoon is a parasite that has crawled into Jeongguk's brain, laid eggs, and now he and his freakish parasite babies are sucking the life out of him.
That analogy is going straight to his nightmares, holy shit.
Also, it's hot as fuck now. Why did Jeongguk believe that his big puffy purple jacket and white beanie wouldn't have become a burden to his body temperature? Sure, it's cold, but God damn, he's sweating worse than earlier now.
He's practically ripping off the jacket by the time he flips his phone over. He keeps the beanie on, though, because he likes his little white beanie, thank you very much.
The cold hits him again, and now he's shivering. Right, he's just in his thin black undershirt now. Not exactly the warmest article of clothing.
Shit, he should've just worn that old purple ugly Christmas sweater that an ARMY had gifted him at a fansign years ago. It barely would've fit and it probably would've itched like a bitch, but it could've maybe kept him more comfortably warm.
Whatever, the livestream is over. He can just go and get one of his more favorable sweaters.
So, Jeongguk does just that. He gets up and heads on over to his bedroom. When he opens up his closet, he's not feeling particularly picky, so he pulls out the first nice-looking sweater he sees, a brown and green knitted one.
Just as he's walking out of his room, pulling the sweater over his body, he hears his doorbell ring.
What the hell?
It’s past 23:00 right now. Who could possibly be at his door this late? Surely no one from the company.
Fuck, is it a sasaeng?
Motherfucker, do those weirdos have nothing better to do with their lives? How the hell did they even get his address? Whatever, doesn't change anything, really.
Just the cherry on top to a shitty and miserable night, huh?
A second doorbell ring. Jeongguk has just about had it.
He's storming over to his door, swiping his phone up from the table in the process. He's already opening up his Phone app ready to dial the police, as well as gathering up a good handful of insults and threats to give to whoever is at his doorstep right now.
Jeongguk swings the door open, fully expecting a creepy young woman breathing heavily, maybe with a knife in her hand or something. He can't help but nearly stumble on his feet when his slightly-tipsy brain finally registers the person at his door.
Namjoon.
Jeongguk didn't think there could've been a worse outcome, but Namjoon has always liked to break boundaries. Damn it.
He can't tell how long it takes for one of them to speak again, the two of them staring at each other like complete idiots. Well, Jeongguk feels like the idiot here. Then again, Namjoon showing up at his place at this hour after what he had said in those livestreams makes him just as likely of a candidate for that title.
“Hey,” Namjoon finally greets, a small smile painting his face, his dimples showing.
Jeongguk has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep his gaze focused on his eyes.
“Hey,” is what he offers back.
Namjoon rubs the back of his neck, a tiny nervous laugh leaving him. “Ah, sorry for the late visit. Just, uh, thought I'd stop by for the fun of it, ya know?”
Jeongguk doesn't know, but he nods like he does.
Namjoon tilts his head to look over Jeongguk's shoulder before meeting his eyes again. “Can I come in?”
Jeongguk blinks. Oh, he has to give an answer.
He should say no, shouldn't he? That's the only logical answer. He doesn't think he can handle Namjoon being in his apartment right now. Tomorrow? Maybe, but not right now. Not when those messages are fresh in his conscience.
But then he dares to glance down at Namjoon's shy dimples and he knows it's over.
“Ah, of course, hyung!” Jeongguk steps out of the way far too enthusiastically for either of their own goods. “Come right on in!”
Why are you here, Jeongguk wants to ask. It's what he should've been asking before happily letting Namjoon march inside his living space.
The question never reaches his tongue, though, and before he knows it, he's closing the door behind them as Namjoon casually makes his way inside after slipping his shoes off.
“Shit!” Namjoon exclaims as his feet touch the floor of the apartment. “It's cold in here, Guk!”
Jeongguk chooses to sigh. “I know, hyung. Sorry, the heater's been shitty lately. You can use those slippers there!”
Why he's offering his slippers, he doesn't know. He doesn't know what's going on anymore.
As expected, Namjoon looks apprehensive. “Are you sure? I would hate to-”
“Take them, hyung.”
Namjoon takes them, because of course he does. He can never say no to Jeongguk, or at least that's what his other hyungs like to say.
”Joonie hyung is always favoring you!” Taehyung would jokingly complain to him. “Seriously, remember when you had asked him for his leftovers that one time? Yeah, I had asked him for them first and you know what he said?”
“No,” Jeongguk would answer back.
“Exactly! He told me no. But when you asked him for them, he let you have them! You're literally his favorite, Gukkie, ugh!”
Jeongguk knows he's Namjoon's favorite. He's always known. That's partly why he's harbored this stupid crush for as long as he has. Namjoon adores him, but not in the way Jeongguk wants, and that somehow hurts more than if Namjoon ignored his existence.
Fuck, he's always been better at not thinking about it when he's around Namjoon. It's the alcohol. It's always the alcohol. He should've told Namjoon that he was too drunk off his ass to let him inside. Ugh, but then Namjoon would've barged in anyway and try to “take care of him” and some sick part of Jeongguk almost wishes that that were the-
“Guk?” Namjoon's voice cuts through his thoughts. “You good? You've just been standing there.”
Jeongguk shakes himself out of his internal torment, a nervous laugh cutting through without his permission. “Ah, sorry hyung! I'm just, er, lil’ buzzed right now.”
Namjoon chuckles. “Ah, right, right. You've been drinking. I almost forgot.”
Shit, speaking of drinking…
Why does Namjoon look so damn sober right now?
Jeongguk ignores the pit in his stomach at the realization and wills his way fully inside the apartment, stopping halfway of the living room to watch Namjoon get himself seated. Jeongguk's eyes then catch the sight of his discarded cup, ice long since melted down fully.
He figures that picking up his mess would stall his time in having to sit by Namjoon, so he changes his course and grabs the cup before turning to his kitchen. He can feel Namjoon's eyes on him the entire time and it's driving him mad.
Why is he staring? Can't he look anywhere else? His galaxy lamp is still up and running. He has plenty else to gawk at that aren't him.
“Want anything to drink?” Jeongguk asks to calm his nerves, placing his cup into the sink along with some other dishes he has yet to wash.
He's already making his way to his fridge when Namjoon answers. “Nah, I'm good. Water's fine, though, if you don't mind.”
Why would he?
More importantly, why doesn't Namjoon want drinks? Why the fuck is he even here then if he wasn't planning on drinking his ass off with Jeongguk?
That's probably for the better, considering what happened the last time they drank together.
…
No wonder it's been years since they got wasted together.
Fuck.
Jeongguk bites his lip, teeth fidgeting with his piercing. He figures it's best to take his sweet ass time in walking over to his refrigerator, hand lingering on the handle for a moment.
He feels a small lump in his throat and curses at himself. Man the fuck up, Jeongguk. He's done this before, he can do it again. Some insignificant messages on his livestream shouldn't matter. That's literally what “insignificant” means.
Finally, he opens up his fridge, the water bottles on the lowest shelf. He bends downwards to grab two, biting harshly at the inside of his cheek again, this time to distract himself from Namjoon's suddenly even more piercing gaze.
He's not even going to entertain what that means.
Slamming the fridge door shut, Jeongguk turns around and finds himself actively speed-walking towards Namjoon, the antithesis to what he was trying to do this entire time. Before he can slow himself down, though, he's already handing the cold water bottle out to Namjoon, who takes it with a smile that stabs at Jeongguk's insides.
“Thanks, Guk.”
“No problem, hyung.”
He can't sit down yet. Why does Jeongguk only have one fucking couch?
He glances around his apartment, desperately searching for something else he can stall himself with. His eyes land back on the table from before, the condensation from the cup lingering. Perfect. He can waste more time in getting a napkin and wiping the surface, maybe pull out the disinfectant wipes and-
“Aren't you gonna sit down?” Namjoon suddenly asks, shattering Jeongguk's plans.
Great, now he has to sit down. Right next to him, too.
Jeongguk doesn't fight it, knowing he'll only make himself look more suspicious. The last thing he needs is Namjoon figuring out his dilemma and offering his help like he can even do anything. Well, he can leave, for starters, but Jeongguk would never tell him to leave. They both know that.
They both know a lot of things, so it seems. Not everything, though, and that's how it should remain.
So, Jeongguk doesn't protest. Instead, he forces a sheepish smile and waddles over to the other side of the couch, carefully sitting down in the most natural way he can.
Natural. Act natural. That's the key.
He opens up his water bottle and downs a large gulp, not even realizing how dry his throat was. He puts the water down on the coffee table, the one where Namjoon also has his placed currently.
No fucking shit.
Jeongguk expects Namjoon to say something, but he doesn't. Not for a good while, actually, and boy, is it scaring the shit out of him. He's just staring down at the ground, almost contemplating something, but what? What the fuck could Namjoon possibly be thinking about right now?
There's nothing to think about. Absolutely nothing. If Namjoon is just going to sit there and waste Jeongguk's time and concern, then he might as well slip his shoes back on and go home. Jeongguk is too tired and emotionally distressed to deal with this right n-
“So… you saw my message, right?”
…
“What message?” Jeongguk responds.
Like he was going to say, he cannot handle this ri-
“You know which one.”
Does he, now?
“You sent a lot of messages, hyung.”
“And?”
“You can't possibly expect me to know what you're talking about if you don't just say it directly.”
“Why state the obvious?”
“Why not?”
The air is tense. So fucking tense. Jeongguk fears that if he moves an inch, the air is going to break into pieces.
Namjoon sighs. “Gukkie, look at me.”
No.
“I said look at me, Guk.”
And Jeongguk is saying no.
“Jeon Jeongguk!”
“What, hyung?!” Jeongguk shouts at the ground.
“What's with you, Guk?” Namjoon sounds confused.
Jeongguk can't help but laugh. “What's with you, hyung?”
“Gukkie, I just want to talk about it.”
“There's nothing to talk about, hyung!”
He doesn't mean to yell, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. He barely notices how badly he's trembling.
“Jeongguk,” Namjoon's voice softens, “listen. Whatever's making you upset right now, I promise that if we just talk about-”
“Stop it, hyung!” Jeongguk snaps, fists clenching onto his beanie. “I-I don't care!”
The silence is deafening.
Namjoon stutters. “Wh-what do you-”
“I don't care, hyung! I don't give a shit about what you have to say about it! I-It doesn't- it never-...”
“Jeongguk, I don't understand-”
“We both fucking know what you said didn't mean anything so why don't you just go home and leave me the fuck alone?!”
Jeongguk rips off his hat just as he feels something wet drop onto his thigh. When he blinks his eyes open, they're burning as more wet streaks begin to tumble down his cheeks.
He's crying. He's fucking crying.
The realization only makes him cry more.
When Jeongguk tries to inhale, his breath gets caught in his throat, a hiccup morphing into a choked sob as he feels his entire body breaking down, the emotional dam overflowing and bursting open.
He's crying in front of Namjoon over a fucking livestream message.
Is this what hell is like?
And of course, because the universe is so damn cruel, he feels Namjoon scooting closer and closer under he can feel his body heat radiating. And to top it all off, Namjoon is wrapping his arms around Jeongguk oh so gently and all Jeongguk can do is melt.
He wants to push Namjoon away, curse him off again, but he knows he could never do that. They both know. So instead, he's giving into the embrace, burying his wet face into Namjoon's chest as he bawls even harder than before.
Jeongguk doesn’t even know what he's crying for anymore. It's all so much, too much right now. His tears are carrying so much more than just a couple livestream comments that played too close to his heart.
They're carrying Jeongguk's decade-old heartbreak, the unshed tears of a baby gay whose gay awakening was never meant to be anything more. They're carrying the years of jealousy and envy towards the ones that Namjoon gave his heart to instead, forever leaving Jeongguk to pine alone in the darkness. They're carrying the rage and confusion from that one night four years ago, the one where they had gotten too drunk together and ended up kissing. The night that only Jeongguk remembered. The night that Namjoon, when told about it, laughed off and said it was a silly thing that happened and that it wasn't all that serious. That it didn't mean anything. That they were both crazy for it.
Jeongguk doesn't think he'll run out of tears to shed, but they, too, are short-lived. He finds himself crying less and sniffling more, body aching in Namjoon's arms. Namjoon just held him through it, ran a hand through his hair softly, whispered soothing words on top of his head. His beanie has been left discarded on the carpet below.
“Better?” Namjoon whispers.
Jeongguk just hums, not knowing how else to respond right now. He's utterly drained. He just wants to collapse on his bed and sleep this nightmare away.
Namjoon tucks a strand of his hair behind his ear, fingers lingering on the skin where his ear and jaw connect. “Tired?”
Jeongguk hums again, more enthusiastic this time around. At least that was true.
A beat.
“Do you want me to let go?” Namjoon asks. “Or do you want me to keep holding you?”
Jeongguk’s brain is begging him to choose the latter, but when has his heart ever listened to his brain?
To demonstrate his answer, he wraps his arms around Namjoon's body, giving a small squeeze to really get the point across. Namjoon chuckles lightly.
“Guess that's a “no” on letting go.”
Another beat.
Then another, until Jeongguk hears Namjoon gulp loudly. Either that, or the apartment is just that quiet right now.
“I'm sorry,” Namjoon finally says.
Jeongguk sighs internally. There's a lot he has to be sorry for.
Namjoon just continues. “I didn't mean to scare you, Gukkie. I'm sorry. I didn't… I should've been more transparent from the start instead of just… dropping it all on you right now. That's my fault, Guu.”
Jeongguk knows that when Namjoon says “the start”, he's talking about when he first showed up at his doorstep moments ago, but a part of him wishes that he was talking about the actual start. The one where they met for the first time. It would've saved a million sleepless nights.
“I didn't mean to upset you,” Namjoon keeps going. “Honestly, I… didn't think it would've. I don't know why I thought you would've… been happy about it… Guess that was hyung's dumb misunderstanding.”
Namjoon utters that last sentence with a small self-deprecating laugh and by God, Jeongguk wants to scream.
“God, why did I think trying to ask you out during your livestream was a good idea?” Namjoon's hand in Jeongguk's hair clenches. “What am I, a dumbass? What did I think was going to happen? I waste years of your life pining for me and that's what I do to give back? I refused to see what we could've been for so long and that's what I do to make up for it? You didn't deserve that, Gukkie. You never did. Your hyung's an idiot and I'm so sorry that he is. I'm so fucking sorry.”
…
What?
Jeongguk must've been hallucinating. He must've been dreaming that up in his head to block out Namjoon's actual words. He didn't just… he wasn't just…
Namjoon is shaking. He's trembling as he's resting his head on top of Jeongguk's. Something wet seeps onto his scalp.
No, Namjoon isn't…
“Y-You don't have to forgive me,” Namjoon chokes out, voice strained. “I can't make up all those years where I made you suffer. But please know that… I meant what I said, Jeongguk. I meant every word I typed out earlier. It does mean something, I promise. You mean something to me. You mean everything. You always have. Even if I made you think you didn't. You were always everything to me.”
Jeongguk is speechless. He can't even comprehend what he's hearing. Namjoon, the crush he had long since accepted as a failure, as something that was never going to happen… had always felt the same? No, there's no way. There's just no fucking way.
He wants this entire thing to just be one fat joke that Namjoon had planned. Jeongguk doesn't want to believe that Namjoon was within reach this entire time. How long had he had a chance? Since when? Where were the signs? Why didn't the universe give him some kind of message about it?
Namjoon's crying. He's crying and suddenly that's all Jeongguk's heart can focus on right now. He doesn't get to see Namjoon cry often, but the few times he has, he always felt the need to ease him of whatever was tormenting him emotionally. All of those issues before were ones that Jeongguk had no control over, though.
This time is different, and Jeongguk knows what he has to do.
He doesn't move from his position, moreso because Namjoon is squeezing the lights out of him and he can't escape even if he wants to, which he doesn't. Instead, Jeongguk clears his throat and takes a deep breath, taking a moment to think his words through and figure out the right things to say.
“Hyung,” he starts, to which he hears Namjoon's quiet sobs stop immediately, “you're not stupid. Please don't say that.”
Namjoon sniffles, but remains silent otherwise.
Jeongguk continues. “I'm not mad at you. Well, not anymore. Whatever, the point is… I'm sorry for getting mad at you like that. I was… there was a lot going on in me and it just kinda… bursted out all at once, I guess.”
Namjoon hums.
“Why, hyung?” Jeongguk can't help but ask. “Why now? What made you… realize?”
Namjoon clears his throat, sniffling. “I, uh… I think it was there for… a while. Maybe since… 2018-ish?”
2018?!
“But I didn't really, like, recognize it until… uh… God, I-I don't know if you remember that… one night. The last time that we… drank together…”
Oh.
Oh.
Jeongguk is too stunned to answer properly. Thankfully, Namjoon doesn't wait for him.
“W-Well, if you don't, then uh… we actually, uh… kissed. Like, on the lips. And I pretended I didn't remember the next morning and said some shit about how it “didn't mean anything” when it was actually, like, the only thing I could think about for a while.”
Namjoon trails off into a laugh. Jeongguk is still in a state of shock to do much.
“Eventually, I kinda snapped, though. I'm not sure why, but one night, when me, Hoseok, and Yoongi hyung were in the studio together, it somehow led up to us venting out our issues and stuff and I… told them about that night. And I told them how… weird and funny it made me feel, how I couldn't stop replaying it in my mind and how I could barely even look at you for a while because of it.”
Seriously? That was why Namjoon was ignoring him for that short period of time? Okay, Namjoon has to at least apologize for Jeongguk getting approximately zero hours of sleep during that time. He would never wish the suffering he placed upon himself on his worst enemies.
“And when I had told them about it, Yoongi hyung looked me in the eyes and just straight up said, “Joon, you like Jeongguk”. I tried playing dumb and acting dense about it—”oh, of course I like Jeongguk! He's a great friend of mine!”—but Yoongi hyung shut me down real quick.
And then, they kept pushing me to confess to you, make a move, just to do something about it. But of course, I kept saying no like an idiot, and now here I am, four-to-five years late and crying like a bitch about it. They'd both be laughing in my fucking face right now, let me tell you.”
…
…
Jeongguk has a lot of different options.
He can cheer and jump for joy at the revelation that Namjoon actually likes him back. He can cry even more from the heartbreak of realizing just how much time they've wasted. He can even get angry again, slap Namjoon across the face, kick him in the balls, and curse out his bloodline for making him suffer all these years.
All of those sound pretty good, if Jeongguk is being honest. He kind of wants to do all three. At the same time. He can probably achieve it if he tries hard enough.
Jeongguk doesn't feel like trying, though. He's been trying his whole life and, honestly, does he have to put in the effort to do so much right now when his one impossible dream has finally come true?
“Guk?” Namjoon's voice is cautious. “Can you say something?”
Ah, he's been quiet this entire time.
Jeongguk begins to shift, trying to move himself back. Namjoon's grip is still tight as hell, though. If only he could just…
“Wanna look at you,” Jeongguk pleads, wiggling a little. “Please.”
Nothing wrong with a little politeness.
Namjoon listens, though, and his grip is loosening quickly for Jeongguk to move far enough back to look up at his face.
They both have a similar reaction when their eyes meet.
Namjoon looks an utter mess. His eyes are red and puffy, his cheeks are covered in tear streaks, his nose is running, and his lips are bruised and chewed. Jeongguk knows he doesn't look much better. He surely doesn't look as beautiful as Namjoon still does.
Jeongguk loves and hates how pretty Namjoon is. He could never wrap his head around why Namjoon was never always confident in his looks. It used to piss him off just how gorgeous he was, how sharp his eyes are, how big his smile is, how his dimples shine like crescent moons on his face, how tall and beefy he is, how big his fucking thighs are.
Oh God, his thighs. Don't even get Jeongguk started.
Namjoon is so smart, too. Well, maybe not as smart as he thought, but he's still smart as shit. Jeongguk could listen to him chatter about random trivia for days on end. He's a literal walking encyclopedia, somehow managing to know everything whenever Jeongguk needs it.
Hot nerds. That's Jeongguk's type. Hot nerds who can write and rap and produce and- …okay, so maybe Namjoon is, like, the only person Jeongguk has ever been genuinely into in his life. Twenty-five years alive and counting.
That used to be depressing as fuck to think about until right now, staring up at the love of his life who apparently also loves him. He thinks so, at least. Maybe it's not on the same level, but it's better than nothing.
Jeongguk wants to be more greedy, yet as he gazes into Namjoon's deep brown eyes, he feels as though he doesn't have to be. This is all he needs, all he's ever needed.
…
Okay, that's also a bit of a shitty lie, because as Jeongguk's eyes trail down to Namjoon lips, he realizes that he is still very much greedy. So, so greedy.
Because he doesn't just want Namjoon, he wants everything of Namjoon's, including his body.
Namjoon licks his lips to wet them, yet Jeongguk can't help but take that as a taunt, a dare. “You want my lips? Come and get them.”
“Jeonggu-”
He doesn't let Namjoon get his name out. He just bites the fucking bullet, does what he's wanted to do again for years and properly for even longer, and forces Namjoon's face down with his hand into a kiss.
Jeongguk has a vague recollection of how Namjoon's lips felt from that first improper drunk kiss, but what he could always remember was their softness.
That hasn't changed. They're still as soft as before. Softer, even.
Namjoon takes a second to get with the program, letting out a surprised noise against Jeongguk’s lips. Thankfully, he doesn't leave him hanging, lips immediately moving to return the kiss.
Fuck taking things slow. Fuck actually talking about things properly beforehand. Jeongguk just needs Namjoon, craves him, desires him.
Their kiss is passionate from the start, lips dragging and smacking together loudly, hands gripping on each other for dear life. Jeongguk finds his hands up in Namjoon's hair and around his neck, Namjoon's own frantic hands the same. Jeongguk tilts his head to the side, opening up his mouth to let Namjoon's tongue slide inside.
Namjoon opens his own mouth in the process and their tongues meet. Jeongguk moans, not caring to hold any of his noises back. Their kiss turns sloppy, the noises downright filthy, and Jeongguk is shivering, whimpering as he feels Namjoon's lips wrap around his tongue and sucking.
He can't help his disappointed whine when Namjoon breaks the kiss, even though he's well aware that they're both nearly out of air. Jeongguk allows them to take a couple large breaths before he's bringing Namjoon back into the kiss. Namjoon groans and Jeongguk isn't ashamed to admit that his dick jumped at the sound.
Shit, he's hard. He's already so damn hard just from kissing.
Fuck.
His body is also on fire, Namjoon's hands rubbing down his burning back. It's the sweater. This goddamn sweater. He never needed it if he knew he was going to have Namjoon's tongue down his fucking throat.
This time, Jeongguk is the one breaking the kiss. He swears he hears Namjoon growl and, fuck, he's never been ripping off his sweater this fast in his entire life. And of course, Namjoon's hands are enthusiastically helping him peel it off.
It doesn't even feel cold when the air hits Jeongguk's bare arms, deciding to keep his undershirt on for the hell of it.
He doesn't reconnect their lips immediately. Instead, Jeongguk removes his arms from Namjoon's body and moves them behind him, leaning himself back on the couch. Namjoon's eyes are all over him, trailing down his body, burning holes into his undershirt. Jeongguk catches Namjoon's gaze locking onto his painfully evident erection, tent standing hard and proud in his sweatpants.
“You clean, hyung?” Jeongguk huffs out. No use in beating around the bush anymore.
Namjoon nods, eyes still not moving from his dick. He feels it twitch at the attention and he sees Namjoon's eyes darken at the movement.
Jeongguk's own eyes trail down to Namjoon's crotch. He's hard, too. Perfect.
“Good,” Jeongguk hums, licking his lips before looking back up at Namjoon's face, “because unless you leave right now, your dick's going inside me.”
That seems to be all it takes for Namjoon to snap.
Jeongguk expects him to pin him down on the couch, so he's a bit surprised when Namjoon is, instead, grabbing onto his waist and pulling him back up. He has little time to react before they're kissing again. Well, “kissing” is a strong word for it. It's less actual kissing and more tangling their tongues together, biting each other's lips, and clanking their teeth. Jeongguk doesn't even know what to call what they're doing, but it's hot as shit, so who cares?
He barely even notices Namjoon shifting them around to where Jeongguk is straddling him, or rather one of his legs, until Namjoon is gripping onto his ass and Jeongguk is bucking his hips with a gasp, crotch brushing against Namjoon's thigh.
His thigh. His thigh. Namjoon's fucking thigh.
Jeongguk wants to personally thank whatever higher being has granted him the blessing of being able to achieve his adult life-long dream of humping Namjoon's thighs. He's fantasized about it far too many times to count at this point. Perhaps the universe figured he deserved it.
Shame no longer exists in Jeongguk's world. He can't find himself to care as his hips grind on Namjoon's thigh again, and again, and again until they're no longer kissing and he's putting all of his energy in rocking against the limb like the first time he discovered the religious experience that was pillow humping.
Except this is, like, a thousand times better, because Namjoon is watching him, watching him so intently like Jeongguk is giving the performance of a lifetime. He kind of hopes that he is.
And as if it couldn't get any better, Jeongguk feels Namjoon's hands on his hips and, holy shit, Namjoon's fucking guiding him now.
“That's it, baby,” Namjoon rasps out. “Feels good?”
Jeongguk whimpers, shutting his eyes and digging his nails into Namjoon's shoulders as he speeds his hips up. Namjoon called him baby. He called him baby. He doesn't know how else to respond other than to grind down harder.
Namjoon flexes his thigh muscles and presses it up oh so slightly against Jeongguk’s dick and Jeongguk is just about on the verge of passing out.
He's close. He's already so damn close. He doesn't want to come right now but he knows his body isn't going to stop anytime soon. He's in fucking heaven, and when he feels the bottom of his stomach burning, he just chases after the feeling, chases after his release.
Namjoon groans lowly. “You gonna come, baby? Yeah? Gonna come just from my thigh?”
“Yes!” Jeongguk whines high-pitched, his own thighs starting to burn from the exertion but he's so fucking close that he just pushes through. “Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Fuckfuckfuckfuck-”
The last “fuck” comes out as a hellish squeal as Jeongguk's whole body locks up, hips stuttering as he's coming. Hard. Like, way harder than he probably should be considering he was just humping at Namjoon's thigh, but then again, it is Namjoon's thigh, so…
“Fuck yeah, baby.” Jeongguk vaguely hears Namjoon's grunt through the ringing of his ears. “Good fucking job. Look at you, already coming on my thigh. Wanted hyung so bad, didn't you?”
Jeongguk mewls. “Yeah. Fuck, Joon. Want you, want you…”
His ability to express himself is hindered by his post-orgasmic bliss, but Namjoon doesn't seem to mind. Instead, he latches his lips onto Jeongguk's neck, kissing roughly like he's trying to eat his flesh off. All Jeongguk can do is moan, drop his head to the side, and grip the back of his head, tugging at his roots.
They're far from done and they're both more than aware of that.
“Bedroom,” he shudders out, tugging more incessantly at his hair. “Bed. Please.”
The grip of Namjoon's hands on his hips tightens impossibly so, and before Jeongguk knows it, he's being lifted up at the same time that Namjoon stands up. Jeongguk has grown beefy himself, yet Namjoon still manages to pick him up like he weighs nothing.
Needless to say, it doesn't take much for his dick to start stirring up again.
Jeongguk is in a daze the entire trip from the couch to his bedroom, too hyper-focused on Namjoon's strength, until he feels himself being pushed back. He lands on a soft surface, most definitely his bed, and he's barely able to blink himself back to reality before Namjoon is pouncing on top of him and kissing his brains out.
Their lips dance together, tongues exploring and marking every living cell on their lips and inside of their mouths, spit pooling out from where their faces meet. The sounds are somehow even more erotic than before, Jeongguk whining helplessly into the kiss as Namjoon's hands explore his body.
His jaw is aching by the time they part, to which Namjoon doesn't give either of them a second to breathe as his hands are already tugging up at Jeongguk's undershirt. Jeongguk lifts his upper body from the bed and raises his arms up, helping Namjoon slide the garment off, removing the final upper clothing restriction.
As soon as Jeongguk's upper body is fully exposed, Namjoon begins kissing down his neck, trailing downwards until he reaches his chest. There, his kisses start moving to the side until they inevitably land on one of his nipples. Just the brush of Namjoon’s puckered lips against the fully-erect bud makes Jeongguk flinch with a choked gasp.
A low moan rumbles in his throat as Namjoon's lips wrap around his nipple, licking and sucking the nub slowly yet firmly. Namjoon's hand trails up to the other nipple, rubbing it in circles at a teasingly excruciating speed, taking his sweet ass time in toying with them to see Jeongguk's reactions to every movement, every sensation, every pattern.
“Hyung!” Jeongguk whimpers as Namjoon's fingers pinch down on the aching bud. “Please, please, please…”
Namjoon tugs at his nipple with his teeth, Jeongguk's back arching at the feeling, to which Namjoon just chuckles. “Patience, baby. Hyung's making up for everything right now.”
Jeongguk's heart flutters, the last sentence filling it up with so much love and adoration that it damn near makes him feel sick.
“So pretty,” Namjoon mutters, resuming his kissing downwards. “So beautiful. You're so beautiful, Jeongguk. Gonna show you how beautiful you are. So gorgeous. My pretty boy. My pretty man. Mine. Mine. Mine.”
Namjoon punctuates every sentence with a kiss, like he's sealing it into Jeongguk's skin, and fuck, Jeongguk actually wants to cry again. What the hell. Since when has Namjoon viewed him like this? For how long?
Jeongguk's thoughts are interrupted by a sudden spark of pain around his abs. He looks down to see Namjoon biting on the skin, sucking on the bite mark harshly, bruising up on his muscles. He drags his tongue across the hickey before moving down and starting a new one.
Holy shit. Jeongguk is getting marked up by Namjoon. On his stomach. Where he can hide them. Holy fuck.
It feels like something straight out of Jeongguk's wet dreams, watching as his stomach blooms more and more aching purples until he just can't take it anymore.
“Hyung!”
“Shh,” Namjoon just shushes him, kissing his naval right above his soiled sweatpants. “I got you. I got you.”
His hands slide up and down Jeongguk's hips, fingertips stopping at the top of his waistband. His thumbs caress it, eyes darting to the incriminating wet spot right where Jeongguk's new erection is straining itself.
Namjoon's fingers hook onto the waistband of both his sweatpants and his underwear, eyes looking up to meet Jeongguk’s clouded eyes before pulling them down slowly. Tantalizingly slow.
Jeongguk almost complains until they're pulled down enough to where his wet, aching cock springs out, bouncing off of his bruised stomach.
Freedom.
He lays there, humming in bliss as the chilly air meets his dick. Namjoon has the courtesy of speeding up the removal of his pants, pulling his socks off with them.
It's when his pants are tossed somewhere on the floor that Jeongguk realizes that he's the only one fully naked. Namjoon, on the other hand, is still completely dressed, jacket and everything.
That's not fair. Not at all.
Before he can point it out, though, Jeongguk is suddenly being flipped around onto his stomach. The change in position punches a gasp out of him, blush deepening as his legs are pried apart, shamelessly exposed for Namjoon to see.
Jeongguk feels Namjoon's animalistic gaze on him and it's driving him insane. He doesn't think he's ever been more aroused in his life.
For a moment, nothing happens. Namjoon doesn't do anything except stare, and while Jeongguk is flattered beyond belief, his already low patience is only dwindling with every passing millisecond that Namjoon isn't touching him.
That's why Jeongguk flinches when he feels Namjoon's big, warm hands touch his upper back, tracing the muscles as he caresses down his spine. Jeongguk lets out a quiet moan in his throat, breathing growing harsher as Namjoon's hands go lower and lower. It doesn't take long for them to reach the curve of his ass.
“Fuck,” Namjoon sighs out, palms slowly massaging at the flesh. “Such a pretty ass, baby.”
Jeongguk whines, burying his head into the sheets. He's practically on fire when Namjoon spreads his cheeks apart, the cold air hitting his fluttering hole. Namjoon growls, and all of the blood in Jeongguk's brain is flowing down to his leaking cock.
He gasps when he feels Namjoon spit on his hole. He barely has time to relish it when he feels a wet drag of a limb slide against his hole, gasp trailing into a moan when he figures out that what he's feeling is Namjoon's tongue.
Jeongguk getting his ass eaten out wasn't exactly on his plans for them tonight, but what the hell. He doesn't like to plan things, anyway. This is better than he could've ever planned for.
And dear lord, Namjoon is a starved man. He's eating Jeongguk out like he hasn't had a proper meal in months. He's mouthing and lapping at his rim so enthusiastically, wiggling his tongue at a speed that Jeongguk can't even begin to comprehend, all while he's digging his nails into the skin of his asscheeks.
And the noises Namjoon makes. The euphoric hums, the desperate moans, the primal groans. He's been wanting to do this for so damn long and he's not even trying to hide it.
All Jeongguk can do is moan loudly and take it, fists clenching at the sheets, hips stuck between grinding back on Namjoon's face or down against the bed. He feels an absolute waterfall of spit dripping down his perineum and balls and-
“Hyung!” Jeongguk is gasping out, eyes wide as his toes curl, bottom of his stomach cramping. “I'm gonna-... fuck! Fuck, I'm gonna come! I'mgonnacomeI'mgonnacome! Hah! Hah! Ah-! G-... F-F-Fu-!”
Jeongguk is burying his face back into the sheets as he screams, his second orgasm hitting him like a hurricane.
Every wave throughout his body forces a strained moan out of him, hips unable to decide whether to rut against Namjoon's thrusting tongue or hump the mattress through his release. He can hear his heart pounding up in his head, his only reminder that he's still alive.
Jeongguk doesn't register that Namjoon has stopped and pulled away until he hears his rough voice in his ear. “You okay?”
Is he okay? Emotionally, he's doing great. Never felt better in his life. Physically? Well, he's… hanging on. Tired. Exhausted. He already feels like he's been fucked about ten times and not a single inch of Namjoon's dick has even entered him.
Oh shit.
Jeongguk has come twice and neither of them have involved Namjoon's dick.
Not only that, but he doesn't even think Namjoon has come a single time this whole night.
“Tired out?” Namjoon asks. “We can stop here if you are. I don't mind. We have time.”
Oh no. No no no, fuck that. Jeongguk doesn't give a shit about how exhausted his body feels right now. He's getting that dick even if it kills him.
Once again, he has to thank whatever higher being is giving him the strength he needs to push himself up, throw his arm around Namjoon's sweaty neck, and tug him into a searing kiss. He focuses less on the kiss, though, and more on his hands fumbling to actually get Namjoon undressed. Really, the kiss is meant to serve more as distraction, but Namjoon sees through it quickly.
Him and his goddamn intelligence.
“Got one more in you, baby?” Namjoon chuckles. He thinks this shit is a game.
Jeongguk just grunts, tugging his jacket off and flinging it somewhere to the side before pulling at his shirt. “Get this shit off of you!”
Namjoon laughs again, clearly not understanding the dilemma Jeongguk is facing. “Alright, alright! Slow down, Guk! You're gonna rip it.”
“That's what I'm gonna do if you don't get yourself naked in the next five seconds!”
“Oh, so you just want my body, is that it?”
“Yes, hyung! That's exactly it!”
“Wow. So my heart's not enough for you?”
“I'm ripping this shirt off on in threetwoon-”
“Okay, okay! I'll get naked! Sheesh!”
“Don't ‘sheesh’ me, hyung! Your tongue was in my ass just now.”
“And your dick was on my thigh right before.”
“...Get your pants off, hyung.”
Namjoon finally shuts his mouth and does as told. Took him long enough.
Jeongguk is a little disappointed that he's not the one taking his clothes off, but there's also something hot about watching Namjoon essentially strip for him. He's already drooling when Namjoon peels his shirt off and reveals his godly torso, muscles sculpted by the horniest bisexual Greek artist imaginable.
Namjoon stumbles off the bed, swiftly unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. He shoves both his pants and boxers down together, and Jeongguk almost blacks out from the most glorious sight in the entire world.
Namjoon's absolute monster of a cock.
He knows what his dick looks like. He's known all the way back when the group would share showers together. And of course, he's had many fantasies about what it could've possibly looked like when standing tall and rock solid.
Jeongguk's expectations have been surpassed. By many miles. Many, many miles.
“You're drooling, Guk.”
Yeah, he knows he is. He doesn't care, though.
Instead, he slowly starts crawling over from the middle of his bed to the edge, eyes never leaving the delectable beast twitching before him. He stops when the appendage is inches away from his face, relishing in the precum dribbling out so beautifully.
He's always wondered what Namjoon tasted like.
So what else can Jeongguk do except let his tongue fall out to lick at the slit?
“Shit,” Namjoon groans above.
Salty. Bitter.
Perfect.
Jeongguk takes a deep breath through his nose before wrapping his lips around the tip, swirling his tongue and letting his spit bubble up. He sucks firmly before willing his jaw open and sinking down about halfway down the base, head already touching the back of his throat.
Good God.
As much as he would love to challenge himself to deepthroat this grandiose beast of a cock, Jeongguk has already had his body put through the ring, and as wonderful as getting his throat fucked sounded, it's not what he needs right now.
So instead, he lightly bobs his head back and forth, letting the limb sit in his mouth, savoring its taste and weight. He feels Namjoon's hand tangling itself in his hair, to which he opens his eyes and looks up.
In contrast to Jeongguk's easy-going pace, Namjoon looks utterly debauched. His chest is rising up and down rapidly, his eyebrows are furrowed, his eyes are half-lidded and clouded, and his mouth is dropped open, panting as he watches Jeongguk take his sweet fucking time in giving him the laziest blowjob in history.
Maybe he can take this as payback for teasing Jeongguk so much earlier.
Namjoon eventually pulls him off and Jeongguk can't help the pout that forms on his aching lips. He can hardly protest, though, as Namjoon is suddenly picking him up again and tossing him onto his back, mirroring the first time they entered his room, Namjoon pouncing on top and everything.
“Where's your lube, baby?” Namjoon whispers against his neck.
“Drawer,” Jeongguk pants out. “O-Over there. Somewhere.” He makes a vague gesture with his arm to the bedside drawer behind them.
Namjoon gets up, to which Jeongguk's body loses its warmth. He also just didn't want to let go of Namjoon. He's always been clingy with him.
Thankfully, he comes back quickly, fingers somehow already lubed up and circling around his entrance. Jeongguk flinches at the contact.
“Sorry,” Namjoon mutters before his first finger is already sinking inside.
Jeongguk figured that he would've asked him for permission, but he's grateful that Namjoon is already getting straight to the point. He knows that Jeongguk wants this and unless he were to interject and say otherwise, Namjoon is just going to wordlessly oblige.
Or maybe Namjoon has thrown his whole “patience” mantra out the window and he just wants to get into Jeongguk's hole, to which Jeongguk is one hundred percent supportive of.
With that said, the prep goes by quickly. One finger, then two, thrusting and some scissoring, then three, then a short little prostate massage that has Jeongguk sobbing and trembling before Namjoon stops short of Jeongguk’s release.
The bastard edged him.
“Hurry up,” Jeongguk croaks just as Namjoon begins coating his dick with lube. “Hyung, hurry up!”
The slap that meets his thigh makes him gasp. And also moan. Because Namjoon essentially just spanked him and holy fucking shit, he needs his insides destroyed. Now.
“Where's your manners, Guk?” Namjoon hisses, rubbing his tip against Jeongguk’s gaping hole. “Where's that good boy from before, hm?”
“Namjoon!” Jeongguk sobs, body pushing back against the limb. “Please please please!”
Namjoon slaps his tip against the rim. “You want this? Want hyung's cock, hm?”
“Yesyesyes!”
“Then are you gonna be a good boy for me?”
“Yes!”
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, I'll be your good boy, pleasepleaseplease!”
Namjoon smiles, leaning down to kiss away a tear that had escaped Jeongguk's eye. “Good boy.”
He finally, finally starts easing his way inside.
The Lord has spoken.
Namjoon is going in, deeper and deeper and deeper… and deeper… and… deeper?
“Relax, baby,” Namjoon cooes. “You're clenching.”
Oh. He is.
Jeongguk huffs. “Sorry.”
“You're alright, Guk.”
…
“H-How much more is…”
Namjoon glances down. “Mm, about halfway.”
Halfway?!
The horror must've been transparent on Jeongguk's face because Namjoon frowns. “You okay? W-We can stop if it's too mu-”
“No!” Jeongguk wraps his legs around Namjoon, keeping him from pulling back, hissing at the burn of him sinking deeper. “You are not fucking pulling out!”
Namjoon grits his teeth. “B-But what about-”
“I can fucking take it, Namjoon, now keep fucking going!”
Namjoon snickers slightly. “Now, good boys don't talk like th-”
Jeongguk kicks Namjoon's back with the heels of his feet. “Good boys need a reason to be good, so get the rest of your cock inside me or I swear to- fuck!”
Namjoon very much gets the rest of his cock inside of him.
Hurts. Fuck, it hurts. Why is he so fucking massive, holy shit. Jeongguk isn't a size queen for shit apparently because holy fucking shit, he's being ripped in half.
“I'll go easy on you, Gukkie,” Namjoon is panting on his lips, “but you gotta say sorry for making me do that.”
Namjoon actually thinks Jeongguk wants him to be soft with him. Good fucking joke. Not on his damn watch.
So, Jeongguk leans up, bites down and tugs at Namjoon's bottom lip harshly before growling.
“Ruin me first, hyung.”
Jeongguk has never seen Namjoon's eyes get that dark.
He's barely even prepared for when Namjoon is gripping onto his hips and pounding into him at a murderous pace within seconds. Jeongguk can't even do a damn thing about it, not like he wants to because he's just happy that Namjoon is fucking his insides into oblivion.
He's not even moaning, his noises of blinding pleasure more akin to that of screams and sobs. It hurts, but it hurts so fucking good. His senses are heightened yet numbed at the same time. If someone were to ask him right now where he was, what his profession is, what his name is, he wouldn't even manage to register the question enough to think about it. He can't think. His brain is gone. All he knows at this point in time is Namjoon. Kim Namjoon. Namjoon's monster dick that he can feel up in his fucking stomach.
Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon…
“You see that, Gukkie?” Namjoon groans, tugging Jeongguk's head up for him to look across his body. “Fuck, see me up in your belly? Right there? You feel me up there, baby?”
Jeongguk's eyes magically start working again only for him to see a fucking bulge at the bottom of his stomach, hickey-covered skin bumping up with every deep thrust of Namjoon's cock.
Screaming wouldn't have done justice to the feeling that runs through Jeongguk's entire body. He just throws his head back again, silent wails coming up in choked gasps.
Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon-
“Namjoon!” Jeongguk's scream finally manifests itself in the form of his beloved's name. “I love you! I love you! I love you!”
Perhaps an inappropriate response to experiencing a belly bulge, but Jeongguk’s scream isn't just about that and he knows it. They both know it.
They know a lot about each other.
And they know everything now.
“Jeongguk!” Namjoon… sobs? “Fuck, I love you, too! I love you so much!”
It's almost comical how their faces are depicting a deeply romantic scene, while their lower bodies are depicting an intense porno, specifically at the point where both of the actors are “close”, in a fictional sense, at least.
Ironic considering Jeongguk is close, but definitely not in a fictional sense.
With the way Namjoon is hammering into his prostate, Jeongguk doesn't even need a single hand on his dick for him to reach nirvana.
He can’t even begin to describe what that orgasm felt like.
His best, for sure. Probably the best he's ever going to get in his lifetime and beyond. What was his body doing? No clue. Probably shaking and twitching like a dying cockroach getting sprayed on. What noises came out of his mouth? Also no clue. Probably not human ones, that's for sure.
Oh, and Namjoon's also coming inside him. That feels pretty nice. Jeongguk is convinced he might just wake up tomorrow seven months pregnant with octuplets.
First cisgender man to get pregnant. Namjoon always liked to break boundaries, after all.
…
Is this a breeding kink?
That's essentially the last thought that passes through Jeongguk's half-conscious mind before he's knocking out cold, metaphorically and literally.
ཐི𖹭𖹭ཋྀ
“Do you really love me, hyung?”
Namjoon laughs, combing a hand through Jeongguk's bed hair. “Yes, Gukkie. I love you.”
“I know.” Jeongguk hums. “I just wanted to hear you say it again.”
Teasing with his voice is all he can really do when he's practically bed-ridden right now. Namjoon took the time right after he had fallen asleep to clean him up, give him a whole bath (Jeongguk doesn't even recall that even though he supposedly woke up a couple times during it), put him in his cold weather pajamas, and tuck him into bed. Well, not before changing the sheets out because, good Lord, Jeongguk isn't sure how many washes it's going to take to rid them of their filth.
Maybe Jeongguk doesn't want last night to be washed away, though.
“So,” Jeongguk begins again, “are we like… dating or…”
Namjoon blinks. “I mean… if you want… No pressure, of course.”
“You came in my ass, hyung.”
Namjoon playfully smacks his shoulder. “You asked the question, didn't you?”
“I was just making sure!”
Namjoon rolls his eyes. “Yes, Jeongguk, I would like to date you.”
Jeongguk smiles, teeth showing. “So, are we like… boyfriends now?”
“Yes, Jeongguk, we are boyfriends now.”
“Yay!”
Jeongguk tries to roll over and hug Namjoon, but his sore ass is quickly shattering his plans. “Owowow! Ow, ow!”
Namjoon laughs. Jeongguk is in absolute pain because of him and he's laughing.
“This is your fault, hyung! You're a sadist!”
“I'm not!”
“I don't even think you believe that.”
Namjoon just scoffs before being the one to roll over and bring them the hug they need. Jeongguk's complaints melt away all at once.
This is nice. He can get used to this.
…
“Oh, by the way, hyung,” Jeongguk breaks the silence, “you still owe me a lot of apologies.”
Namjoon sighs into the crook of his neck and Jeongguk can feel him smile softly against his skin.
“I know, baby. I know.”