Chapter Text
“Do you ever think about what your life would be like if you weren’t a Jedi?” Ahsoka asked. She sat with Anakin on a balcony overlooking the city lights of Coruscant. At nighttime, it looked like dozens of miniature stars. Ahsoka swung her legs back and forth over the edge, and Anakin fixed a concerned frown in her direction.
“What’s this about?” He asked.
“Just wondering,” Ahsoka said, eyes fixed at the moon high in the sky. “You seem like someone who would.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Anakin asked. “I’m not that much of a failure that I fantasize about a Jedi-less life.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure you fantasize about other things,” Ahsoka said slyly.
“Ahsoka!” Anakin exclaimed, appalled.
“Oh, come on, it’s the biggest open secret. You don’t have to play dumb with me.” Ahsoka laughed, nudging Anakin’s shoulder. He winced at the touch.
“Sorry,” Ahsoka said. “I forgot.”
“It’s okay,” Anakin replied. “Most of the damage was healed by the bacta, but it’s still sore.” He shrugged. “Could be worse.”
“Yeah,” Ahsoka said. They fell into silence for a while. “At least she’s okay.” Ahsoka said finally.
“Yeah.” Anakin said. “I can’t imagine what I would do if-” he broke off, unable to finish the sentence. Ahsoka laid her head on his shoulder. Anakin closed his eyes and sighed. It had been such a long day.
“You should probably check in with Obi-Wan,” Ahsoka said. “He’s probably worried after you ran out of the medbay.”
“Probably.” Anakin agreed. “Let’s go.”
“You go on without me,” Ahsoka said. “I’ll catch up. I’m feeling a little tired.”
“Alright.” Anakin said. “See you later.” Ahsoka waved goodbye to Anakin as he picked himself up and headed away.
“Where have you been?” Obi-Wan exclaimed once he noticed Anakin headed his way. He ran up to meet Anakin, grabbing his shoulders once Obi-Wan caught up to him. Obi-Wan stared into Anakin’s face for the longest time. Uncomfortable, Anakin broke free from his grip.
“You good?” Anakin asked, laughing nervously. “I just needed some air, so I was out on the balcony with-”
Obi-Wan interrupted him with a sigh. He pinched his temples between his fingers. “Look, I’m just worried about you. After what happened…” He placed a hand on Anakin’s shoulder again. “I’m here for you if you need to talk.”
“Don’t worry, I’m okay.” Anakin said. Sure, it was a bit of an ordeal, but nothing special. Why was he acting weird? “Just a little bruised, but I’m not dead and that’s what matters.” Obi-Wan flinched. Noticing, Anakin softened his tone.
“I appreciate the concern, but I’m okay. Really.” What was up with him? Obi-Wan never acted this… well, whatever this was.
“Well, I just wanted to let you know that we’ll be doing the memorial in five days.” Obi-Wan said. “Just to give everyone time to process things.”
“That sounds fine,” Anakin said, though he wasn’t really listening. His thoughts lingered back to Padmé. He hadn’t seen her since the incident, and he was worried.
“About the senators that were there…” Anakin started, before cutting himself off. Ahsoka knew, but Anakin wasn’t super inclined to talk about his relationship with Padmé in front of Obi-Wan.
“Actually, there’s a debriefing going on with all of them.” Obi-Wan said. He looked distinctly uncomfortable. “Unfortunately, you won’t be able to see Padmé today.”
“Why? She’s okay, isn’t she?” Anakin asked. Nevermind the fact that Obi-Wan seemed to know exactly why Anakin was asking about the senators. What did he mean that Anakin wouldn’t be able to see her?
“Do you want to find where to sit so we aren’t standing awkwardly in the hallway?” Obi-Wan asked. “Or at least we can start walking.”
“Fine,” Anakin grumbled. “So, what were you saying?”
Obi-Wan sighed. “It’s for security reasons, mainly. After what happened, everyone is incredibly uptight.”
“She’d probably be safer around me, if anything!” Anakin argued. Realizing what he said, he coughed, shifting his eyes nervously to the side. Surprisingly, Obi-Wan didn’t comment on it.
“I get it.” Obi-Wan said. “But after what happened, we all need time to heal.” Anakin didn’t understand why Obi-Wan kept talking about “healing.” He’d already been to the medbay, if that was what he was getting at. In fact, he’d been there for the past…
“How long was I in the medbay?” Anakin asked suddenly. “My head is a little fuzzy.”
“Err, the first time, or the second?” Obi-Wan asked. “Anakin, if this is about going back, I don’t think that’s a good idea. She’s… well…”
“Just in total,” Anakin interrupted. Obi-Wan was harping about healing, and now he didn’t want Anakin to go to the medbay? Someone needed to make up his mind.
“Wait, ‘she’?” Anakin said. “Is Padmé hurt?”
Obi-Wan sighed. “Anakin, we talked about this, don’t you remember?” Anakin didn’t respond. “I guess you don’t remember. Padmé’s not doing well, but she’s not in critical condition.”
“What??” Anakin exclaimed. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“Actually, I did.” Obi-Wan said. “You were just in shock at the moment, and I don’t think you processed much of what I said.”
Obi-Wan led him to a side hall and opened a door. It led out to one of the gardens in the temple. Though it was dark outside, the garden was still well lit. Short stone walls surrounded trees and flowers, and Obi-Wan sat down on one.
“Sit,” he said, patting the space next to him. Anakin sat.
“Okay, so Padmé was hit with a lot of shrapnel from the explosion. And she was shot, but nowhere fatal.” Obi-Wan explained. Anakin opened his mouth to say something, but Obi-Wan held up a hand, cutting him off. “Save questions for the end.”
“She was also knocked out, and is currently suffering from a concussion. She’s awake now, but she’ll have to take it easy for a while. She’s lucky Ahsoka was there to save her from any worse damage.” His voice softened. “We’re all lucky.”
Anakin let out a sigh of relief. So Padmé was (mostly) okay. Ahsoka had looked fine back on the balcony, so Anakin assumed she had been deemed well enough by the healers to leave the medbay.
“So will I be able to see her tomorrow?” Anakin asked.
“I don’t see why not,” Obi-Wan said. “But I’ll clear it with her security and the healers.” That was good. Anakin didn’t know what he’d do if he couldn’t be with Padmé soon. Even hearing about her from Obi-Wan wasn’t enough. He needed to see that she was okay with his own eyes.
“Well, thanks for telling me,” Anakin reluctantly.
“Of course,” Obi-Wan replied. “Anakin, about your relationship with Padmé…” Anakin shifted on the stones nervously. Here it was.
Instead of berating him or scolding him, however, Obi-Wan broke off. He and Anakin stared at each other for an uncomfortable moment.
“I’m sorry, nevermind. This isn’t the time.” Obi-Wan said. “I’m glad you have her to lean on. We’ll talk about this later.” Anakin stared at him in surprise. What? He was just going to leave it at that?
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Anakin asked. “You’ve been acting awfully weird today.”
“It would probably be weirder if I was acting like everything was fine,” Obi-Wan said bitterly. Anakin was startled at the sudden change in tone.
“What do you mean?” He asked. Obi-Wan stared out into the garden for the longest time.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s your business.” Obi-Wan said. “But going on like this isn’t healthy. I hope seeing Padmé at the memorial might help you, but in the meantime-” his comm suddenly chimed.
“Excuse me,” Obi-Wan said. He got up and walked a few paces away. Anakin watched him go, confused. What in the world was he talking about?
Obi-Wan talked into his comm for quite a while. His expression shifted a number of times, going from confused, to concerned, to angry, to resigned. Anakin wondered what we were talking about. After a while, he put the comm back and went back over to Anakin.
“Sorry Anakin, I’m going to have to leave now. The Council summoned me for an emergency meeting. Can you manage on your own while I’m gone?”
Anakin snorted. “I’m not helpless. What’s the meeting about?”
Obi-Wan shifted. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you that. But we’ll talk later.” With that, he headed out, leaving Anakin alone in the garden.
***
“He’s just been so weird !” Anakin said to Ahsoka, gesturing wildly. They sat alone in the cafeteria. Anakin munched on a tasteless ration bar. Glancing over, he noticed that the space in front of Ahsoka was empty.
“Not going to eat anything?” Anakin asked, wiping crumbs off his lap.
“Not hungry,” Ahsoka said with a shrug. “Besides, why would I want to eat something that tastes like dust?”
Anakin laughed. “True, but dust doesn’t fill you up with nutrients quite like these do!”
Ahsoka scoffed. “You would know,” she said teasingly. Anakin shoved her playfully and she responded by smacking his shoulder.
“Hey, not the shoulder again!” Anakin exclaimed. Although it didn’t hurt this time. Take that, Obi-Wan, he was healing!
“So, how’d the conversation with Obi-Wan go?” Ahsoka asked.
“Fine,” Anakin said. He stretched back in his seat before pushing away his empty tray. “He just wanted to ‘check in’ with me. Kept going on about how he was worried about me. He was kind of being strange”
“Are you worried about you?” Ahsoka asked.
“Why would I be?” Anakin asked. “I survived the explosion. Anyways, I’m more worried about Padmé. She got hit harder than I did. Good thing…” Anakin trailed off. Nevermind. Think about something else.
“Speaking of Padmé though, Obi-Wan didn’t even scold me for wanting to see her. Isn’t that weird?” Anakin said. Ahsoka nodded.
“For sure. Although considering he’s got you-know-who, maybe it isn’t all that weird.”
A smile broke onto Anakin’s face. “You know, I completely forgot about that. Maybe he feels weird berating me about that when he’s got his own thing going on.”
“Exactly,” Ahsoka said. “How’s she doing, by the way? Padmé, I mean.”
“She’s hurt, but not in critical condition,” Anakin said, relaying Obi-Wan’s words back to her. To be honest, “not in critical condition” wasn’t exactly the most reassuring thing ever. “But I can see her tomorrow, so that’s a relief.”
“Maybe I can tag along, unless you want to be alone,” Ahsoka said with a smirk. “Hey, want to get out of here? This cafeteria is kind of bleh.” She stuck out her tongue and Anakin laughed.
“Sure, just let me get rid of this tray.” Anakin dumped his tray, and was surprised to see Plo Koon standing there when he turned around.
“Master Plo?” Anakin said. “What are you doing here?”
“Can’t I enjoy some delicious foods like you?” Plo said with amusement. “Actually, I was hoping to find you here. Care to talk?”
“Of course, I just-” Ankain glanced over Plo’s shoulder, but it seemed like Ahsoka had already left. Hopefully she didn’t mind waiting.
“Looking for something?” Plo asked.
“No, I- it’s just Ahsoka,” Anakin explained. “Should we sit here, or…?”
“I understand.” Plo replied gently. “I don’t mean to take too long. Although the cafeteria isn’t exactly the most comfortable place to hang around in.” They found a place to sit anyway. It felt weird to Anakin, sitting in the cafeteria alone with a council member. Normally, that sort of thing only happened if he was in trouble. Speaking of…
“Am I in trouble, Master?” Anakin asked.
“Not at all,” Plo replied. “I just wanted to let you know that the Council requests your presence tonight. I’ll have Master Kenobi comm you the time.”
“Oh, okay,” Anakin said. Master Plo had come all this way just to tell him that? “And this information couldn’t simply be commed as well?”
“True, but I also wanted to check in on you,” Plo replied. Anakin frowned. This again? It was almost suspicious. Maybe everyone was buttering him up for a favor. He wouldn’t put it past them.
“I’m fine,” Anakin replied. He glanced back at the cafeteria doors, but Ahsoka wasn’t there. “I appreciate the concern, but if that’s all, I have somewhere to be.”
“This is hard for me too,” Plo said suddenly. “It’s not easy to lose someone you… care about.”
Anakin stared at him, speechless. Did everyone know? Wait, did Plo also…? He shook his head. It was all so confusing, and he was starting to get a headache. Maybe the bacta hadn’t been entirely successful.
“Thanks for the concern,” Anakin said again. He suddenly felt very awkward. “I’ll be going now.” Plo simply nodded, and Anakin walked away quickly.
Ahsoka wasn’t outside the doors when Anakin exited the cafeteria, but she was staring out one of the windows a few paces away.
“Finally done?” She asked. “Did you get stuck in the trash can or something?”
“Ha-ha,” Anakin replied. “No, Master Plo wanted to talk to me. I’ve got a meeting with the Council tonight.”
“Wow, you’re popular,” Ahsoka said.
“Yeah, I’m starting to hate it,” Anakin replied. “So, where are we going?”
***
The meeting with the Council wasn’t as interesting as Anakin would have expected. They simply had him recount what happened during the incident. Anakin did so to the best of his abilities, purposefully leaving out a couple details regarding what him and Padmé had been doing right beforehand.
The Council members didn’t interrupt, they simply listened to Anakin talk with frowns on their faces. Did I do something wrong? Anakin wondered.
Afterwards, they asked him how he felt about everything, and Master Yoda reminded him that attachments weren’t the Jedi way and that letting go was a part of life. Obi-Wan frowned even more at that, and Anakin wondered if the entire Jedi Order knew about him and Padmé. He wanted to crawl under one of the seats and hide. Surprisingly, nothing more was said. After an awkward silence when Master Windu asked if Anakin wanted to get anything off his chest (he said no), they dismissed him.
After the meeting, Obi-Wan pulled Anakin aside to talk.
“Unfortunately, you won’t be able to see Padmé until the memorial. Which is in five days.” Obi-Wan said apologetically.
“What?” Anakin exclaimed. “Why?”
“Her condition has worsened, and they’re forbidding anyone who isn’t family from seeing her,” Obi-Wan replied. Anakin wanted to yell that actually, he was family, but he figured that wasn’t exactly the smartest thing to say.
“That’s ridiculous!” Anakin exclaimed. “I need to- why can’t- ugh!” It was unfair. It was outrageous. What if she needed him? What if she was in pain and no one was there to hold her hand? What if she-
“Calm down,” Obi-Wan said, placing a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “It’s not all that unreasonable. I’m sure-”
“Not unreasonable?” Anakin said. He was aware that he was being loud and angry, but at the moment he didn’t care. “What if she needs me?”
“Anakin!” Obi-Wan exclaimed, snapping Anakin’s attention back to him. “Get yourself together. You’re not the only one who’s feeling upset right now. It’s unfair, okay. You need to rest. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
Anakin stared at him. “Don’t just cut me off! I’m not done talking. You’re the one who’s been weird this whole afternoon.” Obi-Wan scoffed at that. Anakin was about to reply, but he noticed Ahsoka behind him and nodded in her direction. It seemed like she wanted to talk to him. Obi-Wan noticed his nod and spun around.
“Fine, I’m going,” Anakin said. “See you later.”
“What was that?” Obi-Wan asked. Anakin brushed past him and hurried to catch up to Ahsoka. “Anakin, I’m talking to you!” he said, but Anakin ignored him. If Obi-Wan wanted to drop the conversation, fine.
He’d drop it.