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Sighing, Hyunjin rubbed his hand over his head. The short buzz cut that his stylists had insisted he try felt alien and anxiety bubbled in his chest. It reminded him of the Maxident era when he had received a lot of hate for his hair.
Turning to his latest sketch, his distraction, he felt his fingers stall. His previous train of artistic direction no longer present. Glancing at the page he saw his usual: heart shaped lips, freckles, doe eyes…
Pushing the sketch pad away, he dragged himself from his desk and flopped onto his bed.
Felix.
Stayville, or a good bit, believed they were dating. Sometimes Hyunjin believed it too, but it was never official. Moments between the two men stuck out in his brain like core memories. When they stole each other's first kiss as trainees, when it got heavier and some lines were definitely crossed, the time they risked a bit of intimacy by the Seine River, and many other scattered moments in time when he and Felix were just more. The most recent was the gift of the Cartier ring (and subsequent thanking…) that Felix had yet to take off. It reminded him of the shared rings from before, but he knew that his Angel recognized the deeper meaning, didn’t he?
The discussion around the topic was always brief since neither had an answer to their very blatant issue. Both knew they liked/needed/desired one another like no other, but more than that? That was unclear and very much left unsaid. The pressure of schedules and their idol image always a heavy weight to carry. All Hyunjin knew for sure is that his life wasn’t a life without his Angel.
Sighing once again, Hyunjin picked up his phone and instantly froze…
HeyFeeelix: Are you up?
The text was sent almost fifteen minutes ago and he couldn’t fathom how he had missed it.
Hyunjenius: Yeah, what’s up?
Shifting in his seat, the new “kiwi head” waited for a response.
F: can I come over?
Hyunjin swallowed hard. YES, he wanted to reply. PLEASE.
H: if you want to ;)
Tossing his phone onto the bed, he groaned and leaned back. After dragging his hands down his face, he took a deep breath. It would be okay, he l- liked Felix a lot after all. He desired him, but he also craved his friendship. He would take whatever the freckled Australian gave him, even if that sounded unhinged and wrong.
Suddenly, the magnitude of the possibilities of this “hang out” hit him like a slap and he was instantly on his feet. He hadn’t showered since his trip to the gym with Changbin a few hours ago and the hard earned sweat made his skin tacky and his clothes chafed in places. Shedding his outfit and tossing it into his laundry basket, Hyunjin quickly made his way into his private bathroom.
It was nothing too lavish, but certainly served its purpose with a hint of luxury. Smoke gray tiles gleamed and gold accents shone as the idol flicked on the lights. Disregarding the tub, he directed his attention to the large glass shower stall. Soon, steam filled the room and Hyunjin relaxed under the spray, once again running his fingers through his unfamiliar hair.
Then the door clicked open and Hyunjin froze. “Jinnie?” The low voice called, sounding slightly uncertain yet somehow seductive. “Can I… can I join you?”
Squeezing his eyes shut and letting out a breath, the older member answered, “you know you don’t have to ask.”
There was a shuffling sound and then the glass door opened and Felix stepped inside.
The steam wrapped around the newly black haired man's lithe, muscled, and very naked body and Hyunjin felt like he couldn’t breathe. It seemed like no matter how many times they saw one another like this, it was always a new and heartstopping experience.
Felix’s eyes lingered for a moment on Hyunjin’s face before shamelessly raking down his body. “Like what you see?” The blonde said with feigned confidence and perhaps a bit more trepidation than usual.
“Always,” breathed his beloved as his chocolate brown eyes flicked back up to look at the older’s. They were filled with warmth, understanding, and an irresistible spark of feral need, causing Hyunjin to shamelessly reach out and pull Felix into his arms.
Felix’s skin felt cold in comparison to Hyunjin’s shower heated body, and the older shivered slightly at the contact, yet it only made him hold him closer. The feeling caused the blonde to gasp as the younger man wrapped his arms around his torso and squeezed almost too tightly. “I missed you,” mumbled the deep voice by his ear and Hyunjin swallowed thickly.
”I missed you too, but I’ve been right here.”
”Not like this you haven’t,” came the rumbling response as a cool hand slid down the curve of his back and gripped his ass without hesitation.
A small, breathless, “fuck,” escaped his lips at that action and he was rewarded by a low chuckle that reverberated throughout his chest.
Then it was as if a tap was turned to full blast. Felix’s other hand wrapped around the back of Hyunjin’s now very exposed neck and drew him into a kiss, which quickly became deep and messy. Felix tilted his head and licked into the blonde’s mouth, battling his tongue for dominance before pulling back to bite and suck at his full bottom lip.
Tingles shot up Hyunjin’s spine as his mind went blurry from the assault. He could feel his half hard cock fill out further and perk up between their bodies, brushing against his partner’s, which was in a similar condition.
The kisses only grew in intensity as tongues, lips, and even teeth became involved, until Felix pulled away to suck gently down Hyunjin’s neck. Gasping slightly, the blonde gripped the younger man harder in a warning to not make any marks.
As if reading his mind, Felix moved away with a wet pop and looked deeply into Hyunjin’s eyes, “even after all this time, you think I’d make a mistake?” The tone was soft, gentle, and there was even a twinkle in his eyes as his Angel suddenly smiled his megawatt smile that made Hyunjin weak at the knees. Possibly the whole world weak at the knees.
”No,” he quickly responded. Realizing he was staring, he glanced down and back up before continuing in an awed whisper, “you are so…so beautiful.”
The incredible smile brightened and then wavered for a second before Felix dove back in and began trailing open mouthed kisses down his chest. The younger man paused to tease at Hyunjin’s nipples, licking over one repeatedly while carefully twisting the other, causing the older to gasp and lean back against the cold tiles of the shower stall, which only intensified the sensation.
Soon, Felix slid his tongue down to Hyunjin’s belly button, where he took some time to lick into the small divet and nip at the soft, taught, skin surrounding it. Sucking in a breath, the blonde instinctively slid his long fingers into the newly darkened locks. He definitely missed the icy bleached hair of the past, but there was an odd thrill in seeing the midnight colored strands wrapped around his hand. Almost like they were different people and maybe things could be different for them…
Then, the younger’s devious tongue licked across the head of Hyunjin’s cock and all coherent thoughts left him. “Shit, Lix,” he gasped out as the man on his knees suddenly swallowed him down without any warning.
Felix was caringly brutal and Hyunjin was addicted to it. When he gave head it was intense, thorough, and relentless. As soon as the older’s cock hit the black of Felix’s throat, he swallowed and hallowed his cheeks. His hands were never still either, one massaging Hyunjin’s balls, while the other pressed at his base or dragged its nails along the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.
In no time, the blonde was a mess. His thighs shook and while one hand was wrapped in the black hair of his lover, the other gripped the small shelf that was supposed to hold soap and other shower essentials. Heat coiled in his stomach and he gasped as sparks flashed in his vision. “Lix, I can’t…” he panted. “I’m gonna… oh my god!”
Strong hands gripped his hips to steady him as he came, holding him in place against the tile and not allowing him to collapse. Shuddering, he continued to feel a hot mouth and attentive tongue work him through a mind blowing orgasm.
“Shit,” he breathed out once he had collected himself enough to realign his feet under him. Glancing down, he got to witness a naked Felix, soaking wet, on his knees, licking his reddened lips while gazing up through his dark lashes and he almost came again on the spot. “Shit.”
”Can we go to bed now?” The younger man asked as he stood up, tilting his head to the side with a little quirk of his lips.
”Yeah, yes, we can,” Hyunjin answered, still sounding like he’d run a marathon.
The two stepped out of the shower and Felix grabbed a fluffy towel from the shelves by the door. Turning, he carefully wrapped it around Hyunjin, before taking one for himself. The blonde couldn’t help but smile at the domestic action.
In the bedroom, the two men gravitated towards one another once again. Felix slid his arms around Hyunjin’s neck as the older wrapped his arms tightly around the small, yet muscular waist of the other. Their lips collided and they stumbled towards the bed as their towels fell to the floor.
The skin to skin contact without the distraction of the water elicited a joint gasp from the pair as they fell onto the blankets, Felix on top.
The younger man quickly straddled the other as he firmly slid his hands up to cradle the sides of Hyunjin’s face. He tilted it as he deepened the kiss and the blonde relaxed into the pure need of the other. It was more than lust, more than desire, it was a desperation to be one and to be together. It almost felt like lo-
And then Hyunjin remembered, with a certain amount of embarrassment, when he cried in Paris. They had fucked, made love, had sex, been together intimately, whatever you want to call it and when it was over, tears had flooded his eyes. Felix had kissed them away as they rolled down his cheeks while he lay on the rumpled, white sheets. “Shhh,” that intoxicating deep voice had whispered, “it will be okay.” And for some reason that simple statement had made a difference.
Now, with Felix’s hot, damp body wrapped around him and lips that left searing kisses behind them, Hyunjin made a decision.
He was going to fuck the shit out of the gorgeous man that was the reason for all of his wet dreams, romantic dreams, and dreams for the future. And then, then, he was going to make sure Felix realized how serious he really was…
***
”Did you find it?” Felix asked from where he lounged on Hyunjin’s bed.
”No,” the blonde groaned unhappily, as he continued to sift through his side table drawer.
“Baby,” the endearment caused Hyunjin to instantly stop his movements, “it’s not in there. You’ve been looking for almost ten minutes.” He glanced up to see the younger man smiling at him fondly, looking far more relaxed than he himself felt. “Now, where did we use it last? I mean, I assume you only use it with me… so, assuming that, was it in the bathroom? You know, that time? Or wait, you brought it with you didn’t you? Just in case?”
Hyunjin huffed out a breath. Felix was right.
“Yes, yes I did,” and he got to his feet, doing his best to ignore the soft chuckle from the younger man as he made his way back into the bathroom, ears tinged red. Sure enough, at the bottom of his travel toiletry kit, sat the lube he’d been so desperately searching for. Taking a moment, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror above the sink and was greeted by flushed cheeks, blown out eyes, and kiss swollen lips. “Well, fuck me,” he whispered to himself.
”I’d love to, but not tonight. Tonight I want to ride you until you can’t see straight.” Hyunjin whipped around to see Felix casually leaning on the door frame, a slight smirk on his lips, and one eyebrow raised. “I wanted to see what was taking so long. If I was wrong, I wanted to help you look.” The younger man’s expression suddenly gentled and he moved towards Hyunjin, taking his free hand and pulling him towards the bedroom. “C’mon Hyunjinnie, why do you look nervous?”
Swallowing thickly, he replied, “I’m not, I think, I don’t know…” Was he nervous? It didn’t seem to be the right word, but there was definitely something besides horny excitement swirling around his brain. Before he had a chance to analyze this emotion further, Felix reached up and gently ran his thumbs over his cheeks, cupping his head in his slightly smaller hands.
“We don’t have to do this, you know that?” The shorter man’s eyes were full of sincerity as he gazed into what felt like Hyunjin’s soul. “I know we’re both tired,” he continued in a soothing tone, “and you know I would understand, right?” His eyes flicked between the blonde’s as if trying to read him like a book.
”No, I just…” and then, like a flip of a switch, Hyunjin recognized his hesitancy. His desire to not just be with Felix, but to BE with Felix was clouding his brain and causing a storm that wouldn’t go away. He knew he had to change his plan. “Um, can we talk for a bit?” Uncertainty was clear in his tone, and the blonde winced at the worry that instantly filled his partner’s eyes.
“Sure, yes, of course,” Felix’s voice mirrored the emotion, quickly looking down and dropping his hands to his sides. His usual commanding presence replaced with something small and dejected in seconds.
”Lix, it's not like that, please!” Hyunjin was suddenly desperate. How could he already be messing this up? He supposed this must be why he was a member of Paboracha. “Lix-ah, really! I just, I need to talk about… us?” Gently, he lifted Felix’s chin with his fingers so their eyes met, and he poured as much devotion as he could into his gaze. “I… can we clear some things up?”
The shorter man didn’t look away for a beat, apparently considering what his next move would be. “Okay,” he said slowly, narrowing his eyes ever so slightly, before he let out a deep breath and visibly relaxed, but not fully - Hyunjin knew him too well. “Why don’t we go and sit on your bed and maybe put some clothes on?”
After the blonde nodded in agreement, the duo left the bathroom and Hyunjin handed Felix a pair of his own boxers and a t-shirt before dressing similarly. Turning, he felt his stomach clench at the way the younger man sat almost delicately on the edge of the bed, when before he was as comfortable as if it were his own.
“Angel,” he murmured, before dropping to his knees in front of him. “Sunshine?” There was no response and then, pausing for a split second, he rested his hands on the soft, honey skin of his lover’s legs, and rubbed light circles with his thumbs.
“Hyunjin,” Felix said softly, “please just talk to me? You know how I am, and I think I might already be dying.” His own drama pulled a tiny laugh, which soothed Hyunjin just enough to open his mouth.
”Felix, listen, it’s been years since this,” Hyunjin gestured between them helplessly for a moment and was rewarded with a small nod from the object of his desire, “started. And I know that we’ve made gestures…” At this point he gently lifted Felix’s hand and twisted the ring adorning his index finger, not being able to help the smile that broke across his face. This action brought a steadying effect, and he quickly looked up to lock eyes with Felix who was beginning to look a little flushed, his constellation of freckles darkening along with his cheeks. “I need to know…” he trailed off for a moment, but then took a deep breath, “I need to-“
”Know how much I love you?”
Hyunjin’s breath caught in his throat.
“Because, Jinnie?” The deep, melodic voice continued, as the man using it slid down to the floor in front of him. “I love you.” Warm hands gripped his own slightly sweaty ones as he attempted to take in oxygen while his heart pounded wildly. “I love you so much it hurts. But somehow,” Felix let out a shaky breath as their eyes locked on one another, “that hurt is worth every second of every day. You are funny, strong, talented, supportive… I could keep going. All I want,” those warm hands left his own and moved to circle his neck, making his heart stutter, “is to be with you, only you, for as long as possible, if not forever. All my lifetimes and more if I have anything to say about it.”
Without any recognition of it coming, Hyunjin let out a strangled sob that seemed to echo even in the small room. Instantly, arms wrapped around him, holding him firmly and with so much care that it only caused the next sob to come faster. The blonde buried his face into the crook of Felix’s neck and let loose. As his tears soaked through the collar of the shirt he had lent to the younger man, he felt all the anxiety, stress, and pent up feelings begin to melt away. Felix loved him. He LOVED him.
Trembling, he pulled in a few ragged breaths before leaning back to look at the most beautiful face in the world, which he wasn’t shocked to see was also wet with tears. Brown eyes locked and blinked a few times as if to stem the flow.
“I love you too,” Hyunjin whispered, lifting a hand to wipe away some of the glistening drops on the star spangled cheek.
”Good,” came the quiet reply, as the blinding smile he craved like air bloomed across Felix’s face. “So,” the black haired man said slowly, a bit more boldly, “now can I have my way with you? Or do we need to talk some more right now?”
Hyunjin snorted at the inappropriate response to a heartfelt confession and he couldn’t be happier. “Yes,” he answered, sniffing slightly as his cheeks flushed even more, “you can have your way with me.”
***
Clothes discarded on the floor, Hyunjin found himself lying between Felix’s thighs, one hand tangled in his hair, and the other gripping his hip hard enough to leave a bruise. They kissed one another thoroughly as if trying to pour every ounce of love they had recently confessed into every slip of lips, every lick of tongue, and every graze of teeth. The blonde, needing to taste more, slid to Felix’s sharp jawline and kissed his way down his throat, breathing in the indescribable scent of his skin underneath the various products he knew the younger used religiously. “God, you taste like heaven,” he murmured without thought as he licked along the prominent collar bone.
“I’m pretty sure I’m only an angel,” came the breathy response and Hyunjin couldn’t help but let out an unexpected giggle that turned into a gasp as Felix rolled his hips causing their rock hard cocks to be pressed between their muscled abdomens.
Not wanting to leave that statement alone, Hyunjin pulled it together enough to say, “you’re ridiculous, you know that?”
”Oh yes,” Felix rumbled beneath him, “that’s well known. Now, be a good boy and get out that lube and get me all ready for you, okay?”
Not wanting to disregard his love’s request, the blonde sat up and quickly snatched the precious lube off the side table. Deftly coating a few of his long fingers, he snapped the cap closed but made sure to place the small bottle nearby.
Leaning down, he resumed kissing Felix’s chest as he slid his slicked up digits between the soft yet muscular cheeks that he couldn't keep his hands off of even in public. Gently, he circled the puckered rim as his kisses descended to the cutest belly button imaginable. Taking a moment to lick the ridges of Felix’s defined abs as they flexed under his ministrations, he pressed his middle finger into the tight heat.
Felix gasped above him at the intrusion, but after years of getting to know one another’s reactions, Hyunjin knew it was due to surprise and not pain.
A rush of emotion filled him at this realization and he flailed his free hand for a moment before smaller fingers laced through his own and held on tight. The touch was grounding and encouraging, making Hyunjin’s heart flutter in his chest. Drifting down a bit further he decided to lick across the head of the younger man’s red and leaking cock as he wiggled his finger to loosen the tight ring of muscle.
His actions elicited a low moan and the blonde swiftly repeated the action with the same result. Reluctantly, he disengaged his left hand from Felix’s grip and quickly moved it to aid him in providing as much pleasure as possible.
Gripping the black haired man’s cock by the base he wrapped his lips around the tip and sucked gently as he wiggled a second digit into Felix’s ass. Carefully, he began to scissor his fingers before reaching as deep as possible to curl them up into that certain spot. Felix jerked and a small cry fell from his perfect lips as Hyunjin began rubbing small circles on his prostate. “Fuck, right there,” his beloved panted, spurring him on.
Feeling incredibly uninhibited, the blonde dipped down to take his partner’s cock to the back of his throat as he introduced yet another finger. The lewd sounds of squelching, gasping, and moaning filled the room. Suddenly, a hand frantically grasped at his shoulder and Hyunjin swiftly stopped and looked up to see the dazed and flushed face of Felix staring down at him. “I…” he mumbled, “I want you inside before I cum?”
”Was that a question?” Hyunjin teased, a smile on his face.
”No,” the younger man breathed out, dropping his head back to the awaiting pillow. “Not a question. Please fuck me hyung.”
Hyung. A shudder ran down the blonde’s spine. He knew that it was a mild kink of his, but when Felix chose to use it was always unexpected in a way that winded him for a few seconds.
”Anything for you, Angel,” he murmured before removing his fingers and pouring more lube over his neglected member. Shifting, he aligned himself with Felix’s entrance, sliding a hand up the underside of the enticing thigh to hook it over his shoulder, and leaned forward in order to be face to face. “Ready?” He whispered, as their eyes gazed into the other without hesitation.
”Yes,” came the breathless reply, and with that consent, Hyunjin pushed in.
It was always overwhelming, but this time, with the eye contact and the understanding that they were IN this, it felt unfathomable. As he bottomed out, he suddenly couldn’t take it and he squeezed his lids closed and dropped his face into the safety of Felix’s neck. “Holy fuck,” he muttered.
”You really need to leave religion out of our sex life.”
”Feeeelix,” Hyunjin groaned into the soft skin. “C’mon!”
”Sorry, sorry,” the younger said before his chuckle turned into a moan as the blonde began to rock his hips.
”Just… shut up,” Hyunjin said with a small smile before crashing their lips together and beginning to set a delicious rhythm.
Wanting to get deeper, the older man lifted Felix’s other leg and effectively folded him in half. In this position, Hyunjin knew he would be forever grateful for the dancer training and the constant stretching they both partook in daily. “Is this okay?” He murmured after a moment, breaking the constant kisses, conscious of his lover’s sensitive back.
”It’s okay,” came the slightly tight reply, but then, “can I get on top though? I did promise to ride you.”
”Of course, baby,” was all Hyunjin managed to get out before the molten heat around his cock disappeared and he was manhandled and flipped onto his back like he weighed nothing at all. A small “oof” escaped his lips as he gazed up at the vision straddling his waist.
The combination of beauty, masculinity, and otherworldliness would never cease to amaze him. He often wondered if he should ask Felix if he was sure he was 100% human, but then felt like an idiot to even consider the alternative. In moments like this, however, he wondered why he hadn’t. He knew he would only get laughed at, and he loved that laugh.
Confidently, Felix lifted himself up and guided Hyunjin’s leaking tip to rest against his hole. Then with deliberate slowness, he lowered himself down, effectively impaling himself on the older’s cock. Moaning, he then allowed his head to drop back providing an unobstructed view of the unblemished column of his neck to Hyunjin, who couldn’t tear his eyes away.
As Felix increased his momentum, Hyunjin seriously began to consider if this is how he was going to die, and how pleasurable a death it would be. Despite doing none of the work, he was breathless and trembling. Sweat dripped down the sides of his face as his hands gripped Felix’s flexing thighs, his fingers repeatedly clenching and unclenching.
“Fuck! You feel so good inside me Hyunjin-ah!” The younger man gasped out, his voice a bit gravely and strained. Leaning forward, he rested his hands on Hyunjin’s chest for more leverage and began an almost punishable pace.
“Felix!” The blonde responded, panting as he began to feel the familiar warmth of his orgasm on the horizon.
Not wanting to disappoint, Hyunjin reached down and began stroking the shapely, bouncing cock between them causing Felix to let out a keening sound that went right to the older’s dick.
”Come for me, Yongbok-ah,” he gritted out as he attempted to hold back his own pleasure.
As if those words were a trigger, Felix suddenly convulsed above him and his insides tightened almost painfully around Hyunjin’s cock forcing him over the edge as well. Streaks of white painted their heaving chests and abdomens as Hyunjin felt his own release fill Felix up to the brim.
The duo continued to move against one another to prolong the pleasure before easing off as over sensitivity took over. Once they stilled, Felix collapsed down onto Hyunjin’s chest without regard for the mess that lay there. “I love you so much,” he said softly in to the older’s neck, unknowingly causing little pinpricks behind Hyunjin’s eyes, which he quickly blinked away.
”I love you so much too.”
***
Not really having a choice but to take another shower was not unwelcome. The hot water was soothing and Hyunjin stood beneath it with his eyes closed reveling in how different he felt than his experience just about an hour ago. His reverie was broken by soft kisses along his shoulder from behind.
”Can I wash you?” That velvet voice asked, directly into his ear.
Not risking his own voice, Hyunjin nodded and was rewarded by warm, soap slicked hands running across his heated and hyper sensitive skin. Felix moved from his back to his ass, before traveling down his legs. The attentive thoroughness caused the older to bite his lip and let out a slightly shaky breath.
Sure, they had showered together before, countless of times honestly, but something had shifted. Hyunjin ruminated as Felix moved to smoothing the bubbling body wash across his chest. Was it the love confession? Was it the promise of always and forever? It must be… then Hyunjin’s eyes flew open and down as he yelped, only to see Felix kneeling with soapy hands by his left thigh, a bright mischievous smile on his face.
”Did you just bite me?!” The blonde’s tone was filled with disbelief.
”Yes,” the little minx admitted without remorse. “I could hear you thinking from here.” Standing carefully as to not slip, Felix leaned in to brush his nose against Hyunjin’s cheek, his voice growing warm and comforting. “We take this one step at a time. Don’t lose yourself in trying to figure out how things might be in six months, a year, two years…” He began pressing feather light kisses and Hyunjin clenched his jaw slightly in order to concentrate. “No matter what,” the younger continued, his breath like sunlight on the older’s skin, “we will be there for one another, right?” Pulling back, Felix locked their gazes and Hyunjin couldn’t resist but to reach up and push an errant strand of black hair behind his ear.
”Yes,” he said softly. “I honestly don’t think I could live without you.” He knew it sounded corny, but the revelation sunk into his bones nonetheless. He couldn’t live without Felix.
”Good thing I’m not going anywhere,” his Angel murmured.
Not wanting to be outdone, Hyunjin began washing his beloved in return. It was almost meditative to run the soap across the lightly flushed and freckled skin without any intention but to care for it. Even Felix’s more intimate areas became something different as his large hands cleansed away their previous acts, while knowing their was no negating them. The evidence may be swirling down the drain but the reality was branded into every cell.
Once they were both clean, they exited the stall and went to dry off. An odd sense of dejavu settled and Felix chuckled as he repeated the act from before and wrapped Hyunjin’s towel around him. “This time it’s better,” he murmured with a soft smile.
”It is,” Hyunjin agreed, pulling the younger man into a chaste kiss.
Before exiting the bathroom, they brushed their teeth and did some rudimentary skin care (insisted upon by Felix). The duo kept catching the other staring in the mirror and a fit of giggles soon alleviated any lingering tension.
Back in the bedroom Hyunjin hesitated after he hung up his towel on the hook on the door. Should he offer more clothes? Should he put on clothes? Deep down he knew that whatever he decided would be accepted, but his own insecurity was hard to navigate rationally.
As if reading his mind, Felix spoke up, “can we sleep naked tonight?”
Hyunjin turned his gaze to the younger man to see the shyness he was unconsciously hoping for. Just a dusting of pink along his cheek bones, but it was enough to fuel the blonde’s confidence. “I wanted to suggest that myself.” He grinned and strode towards the bed only to balk. “Should we change the sheets?”
”Yeah, we should.” Felix grimaced cutely at the mess of bedding before moving forward to begin pulling it off. Hyunjin assisted for a moment before going to his closet with the hope that his extra set of sheets was actually clean.
By some miracle they were and soon the pair was snuggled down in a clean bed, Hyunjin on his back and Felix’s head pillowed on his chest, limbs tangled. After a quiet moment, the younger man shifted, sliding a hand up to stroke Hyunjin’s short hair. “What are you thinking about?”
The taller man sighed softly. “I… I guess I’m wondering why this feels so different?” He paused. “Not bad different! But just, we’ve been in this ‘whatevership’ for years, so why do I feel different now?”
Humming in agreement, Felix looked contemplative. “Perhaps… perhaps it's because WE know for sure?” He spoke slowly, his deep voice a balm. “I think that I have always been knee deep in this, but sometimes it would feel like quick sand and not crystal clear water… does that make sense? Our lives are complicated and a certain part of ourselves wanted to protect what was precious, and for me, that is you.” Pausing for a moment Felix gazed in Hyunjin’s eyes before pressing a soft kiss to his plush lips. “Right from the beginning you were everything. You helped me learn Korean, you inspired my dance style, you introduced me to skinship-“
”I really only wanted that with you until the other members got jealous,” Hyunjin interjected with a chuckle.
”Yes, well, I was always a little afraid that I had imprinted on you like a baby duck.”
”Baby chick?”
”Shut up,” and Felix smiled, pressing his gorgeous face into Hyunjin’s neck. “But whatever bird you want to pick,” he continued, “It worried me. I needed to know that I wanted you for YOU and not just the safety and belonging that you made me feel.”
”Aren’t those good things?” The blonde tightened his hold.
”Of course they are my little kiwi,” and Felix bit back a laugh as his ass got swatted by the older, “but I needed to know how deep my feelings ran.”
”And you know now?” Came the breathless response.
”Yes, and I think I made that clear, didn’t I?”
“So…” Hyunjin smiled deviously, “when do I get to scream it from the rooftops? Post it on social media? Get a new contract from JYP?” He paused before gasping frantically, “how am I going to break it to the Chanlix/Changlix/Whoeverlix part of Stayville?”
”I repeat: shut…up…”
The kiss they shared next was deep and sensual. So full of hope and desire that it left them breathless, tired, yet wanting more.