Chapter Text
‘’Ryan! Look here!’’
‘’Over here! Mr. Evans! Here!’’
A chorus of shouting voices breaks out as Ryan walks out onto the floor, his publicist, Lana, a presence of comfort behind him. He places a careful smile on his face, trying not to trip over his own feet to the middle of the carpet. All the people who had once been milling about are now focused on him, sticking their cameras and microphones in his general direction. The shouts all muddle together as he hits a few casual poses, blinking hard. God . The lights always make his vision a bit spotty, but what can he do? Not appear in front of the cameras? As if. He doesn't bother answering any of the many questions thrown at him, just laughing occasionally and keeping his eyes on them. After what feels like an eternity, he feels a hand on his arm, and Lana ushers him away from the fray with a grin and a wave.
She pulls him off to the side, where other journalists are gathering around, doing more casual interviews. The type to put on social media, like tiktok and instagram. He can see a few people he recognises and relaxes slightly. Some guests he knows, and journalists he's seen before. ‘’Ryan Evans!’’ A familiar voice sounds from behind him, catching his attention. When he turns, it's with a polite smile, which turns more real as he recognises the logo on the microphone held out to him. Letterboxd .
Oh, thank god. This I can do.
‘’Ryan! Im Lillian, with letterboxd,’’ the journalist addresses him with a grin, handing a small mic over when he reaches towards it. ‘’So, first of all: Congratulations! This movie has been a long time in the making, so we’ve heard. But, now to the bigger questions. What are your four favorites?’’
‘’Well, I've got to put a musical on there!’’ Ryan grins, hoping it doesn't look as strained as he feels. These things are usually fun, but there's been so much stress involved with this film he just can't bring himself to fully relax. ‘’I feel like if I wouldn't, I’d be denying something integral about myself. I think I have to mention Falsettos. I mean, the story, the set design- everything is just so perfect. And for a silly one, I've got to say Bottoms. it's just so perfect.’’
‘’We love it!’’ Lillian smiles, nodding.
‘’My pretentious answer has got to be The Tree of Life. Gosh, that cinematography? I’ll never forget watching it for the first time. And, of course, a cult classic- Before Sunrise.’’
‘’Those are some amazing picks,’’ Lillian ends it with another grin. ‘’Thank you so much for your time. I hope you have a great premiere!’’
Ryan waves once more before his publicist is already pointing out another waiting person. It's a young man this time, holding a microphone with a steady hand. They quickly get introductions out of the way before he starts asking questions. ‘’Ryan, you've complained about tropical heat before- how was filming the majority of the film in Spain?’’
The journalist barks out a laugh, and Ryan has to do his best to stifle a groan. He can feel his publicist's eyes boring into the back of his skull, so he has to play nice. The last thing he wants is his face splashed on the front of People again. ‘’Well, I grew up in New Mexico, so it's usually low humidity back home. But, you know, living in Los Angeles for so long has gotten me used to it.’’
‘’Right,’’ the man smiles. ‘’And how was working with David Fincher? You've mostly starred in independent films until now, i've understood.’’
‘’Oh, David was amazing,’’ Ryan spits out quickly, thankful to have gotten away from the topic of his hometown. ‘’It was really exhilarating, to play in such a thrilling story and to be the lead. I really felt like I discovered something in me while making this movie.’’
A hand on his arm signals the end of the interview, and Ryan gives the man a curt nod before turning away. Before he can thank Lana, a familiar face catches his eye in the crowd. Is that- no. it can't be.
It's just a flash, but he could swear he saw somebody that- nevermind. Lana is gently, but firmly leading him away now, to the lobby of the venue where the media isn't allowed. Thank god. It's comfortable, a bar on one end with seating and standing tables around. An espresso martini sounds heavenly. Ryan draws a weary breath before letting it out in a huff, running a hand through his hair. ‘’You did great, Ryan. You're a star,’’ Lana reassures him, grabbing a champagne flute from a passing tray and handing it to him, watching him chug it in a second. ‘’...Okay. Are you okay?’’
‘’I’m fine,’’ he says quietly, eyes scanning the room. ‘’I just thought I saw someone I haven't seen in a bit. Its okay.’’
Lana gives him a disbelieving look, but drops it. Good. The last thing he wants to do is talk about Chad Danforth today. The man hasn't been a part of his life in years, and he isn't about to let the memory of him disrupt what should be an otherwise uneventful, perfectly normal, monumental-career-moment night. After a few drinks, he's herded into the theater with everyone else, but cut off and led to a set of stairs. The venue is older, with balcony seating- and fortunately for him, starring in a film usually means first choice. He can see the entire place from here, could count the heads in the audience if he wanted. He doesn't, just watches as the seats begin to fill. Eventually, the movie starts, and it quiets down.
It's only after the showing ends that Ryan gets up and actually goes to the edge of the balcony, looking down at the people below. A few people recognize him, waving from down below. Someone shouts out a positive review of the film and he laughs. He's about to wave back when a head of familiar hair almost causes him to drop the second champagne flute his publicist just handed him. There, in one of the front rows, chatting with a group of other celebrities, is Chad Danforth. As if magnetic, the man's eyes lift up to the balcony, meeting Ryans. They're both still for a second, Ryan out of shock. Holy shit.
Chad doesn't move, does not blink, just stares. He looks less surprised than Ryan, but that's a given. It's Ryan’s movie, he's the star, Chad knows he's here. But he still seems a little shocked that their paths have crossed. The moment ends when someone knocks on the balcony door, opening it slightly. It's security, waiting to bring Ryan back down and to his car to go to the afterparty. When he looks back to the floor, Chad is gone, as if he was never there in the first place.
-
‘’Do I have to go to the afterparty?’’ Ryan asks Lana quietly as they pile into the car amidst paparazzi flashes and screaming fans. They just left the venue and had some fan interactions, some pap photos. All perfectly fine and dandy, but Ryan’s heart is still racing from seeing Chad earlier. She gives him a look, but relents. ‘’Not necessarily. You did a few good interviews and photos tonight, I’ll get them posted in a few hours. If you go out some other time this week, sure. Maybe you can go to a restaurant with Sharpay, her birthday is in a few weeks. Just make sure you get some photos.’’
Ryan hums noncommitadly, already pulling his phone out to text his sister. Lunch Thursday? The rest of the drive to his apartment goes by in a flash, and he gives his publicist a quick peck on the cheek before walking into the building, waving at the doorman.
A bit of googling never hurt anyone, right? Doom scrolling on twitter would at least give him a bit of insight into what the man had been up to all these years. Once he's changed into pajamas Ryan plugs his phone in, pulling up his burner account.
@FilmUpdates: Ryan Evans stuns at movie premiere
@ryanevanslover: i knew he would serve you guys
He smiles softly before clicking on the search tab, typing in his former classmate's name. Hundreds of tweets are there immediately, most about his basketball achievements and such. After a bit of scrolling, Ryan finds what he's looking for: @ ChadDanforthUpdates
The latest tweet confirms what he saw. A photo of Chad at the red carpet, wearing that dastardly good-looking suit.
@ChadDanforthUpdates: Chad Danforth attends premiere of David Finchers's new thriller.
Then, underneath, another one catches his eye.
@ChadDanforthUpdates: Chad Danforth confirms divorce rumour with highschool sweetheart Taylor Mckessie. ‘’We are still good friends, and will continue to be so. Sometimes things just don't work out.’’
Holy shit. Oh holy fuck . There's no way.
The last time Ryan saw Chad before tonight was at his wedding. He was surprised to even get an invite, they had never been overly close, but it seemed that their fleeting friendship had meant something to Chad, unlike Ryan had thought. The wedding was beautiful, close enough to Albuquerque that Ryan and Sharpay could go there together. They sat together at the reception, nudging and whispering to each other whenever someone from high school caught their eye. But they quieted down when it started. Troy was the best man, of course, and Gabriella the maid of honour. They had always been a cute little foursome, and it stayed that way even in the year after highschool. Taylor and Chad were only nineteen, and Ryan had already expressed his opinion about that to Kelsi and Sharpay before. “ They're way too young to get married,” he had said adamantly. “ I mean, Chad just got his NHL contract. They aren't even financially stable yet!”
Kelsi had sent him a disbelieving raised eyebrow, but Sharpay was the only one to say it like it was. “ I think you're just upset because the guy you had a crush on for three years is getting married.”
He had scoffed, of course, brushing it away with a wave of the hand, but her comment had stuck with him. Had Ryan been that obvious, all those years? Sharpay was right, she usually was. He had had a crush on Chad, and still sort of did. For a while, he had thought it was reciprocated- lingering eye contact during a drama club meeting, hands brushing a moment too long. And that's not even touching on that summer in the country club.
Sharpay had elbowed him to shut up once Chad walked to the front, standing beside the officiant with a small smile. His eyes were downcast, hands folded in front of his perfectly pressed suit. Ryan stilled as another song started. He could hear the back doors open, the gasps as Taylor began to walk down the aisle. But he didn't look away from Chad, whose eyes lifted to look at his soon to be wife. His face lit up into that perfect grin of his, and Ryan's fingernails dug into the palm of his hand.
The entire congregation was silent as Taylor walked down the aisle, some instrumental music flooding the room. Ryan was still staring at Chad when suddenly the other man's eyes swept the audience, landing on his. His breath hitched, and he could see Chad's eyebrows raise almost imperceptibly before moving, looking back at taylor. Releasing a breath, Ryan looked back down, staring at his hands. Crescent-shaped indents were dug into his palms, deep enough to hurt. Sniffling, Ryan shook his head, looking back up.
Receptions were always the fun part of weddings. Everyone's looser, there's alcohol and music, and you can talk to people you've never met before. Ryan had always loved them, but this one was different. He had been nursing an espresso martini for at least an hour when he made his decision. The first dance was over, along with all the important things. Now there was just music and a buffet of hors d'oeuvres that tasted like dirt and ash. Chad hadn’t looked at him once since that moment, and Ryan didn't feel like standing there to watch him dance with his wife for another three hours. He pulled out his phone, dialing the number for a taxi service he frequently used. As it rang, he found Sharpay, telling her he was leaving. She sent him a knowing look, but let him go, watching as he walked outside onto the parking lot. He ordered a taxi quickly before hanging up, shoving his hands in his pockets. It was chilly, that transitional period between summer and fall just beginning.
‘’Ryan?’’ a voice suddenly sounded behind him, making him whirl around. Chad was standing a few feet away, illuminated by the venue lighting. Everyone inside was still laughing and dancing. Nobody had noticed the groom leave. They were alone. ‘’You're leaving?’’
There was something in his voice that Ryan didn't want to confront. Something pleading, perhaps. ‘’Uh, yeah. I have to go.’’ he croaked, looking away. The gravel crunched as Chad walked forward, closer and closer until they were mere inches apart.
Ryan couldn't help but look up, his gaze meeting Chads. The man's eyebrows were furrowed, almost worried. ‘’Congratulations, though,’’ Ryan managed to say quietly. A slow song came on in the main hall, and cheers erupt. Taylor would probably start looking soon. ‘’Taylor’s a lucky girl.’’
They both stood there, silent, unmoving. A yellow car pulled up on the opposite side of the parking lot, and Ryan waved a hand at the driver to signal that he was there. After what felt like an eternity, Chad nodded curtly, clearing his throat. ‘’Thanks, Ryan. For- for coming and stuff.’’
‘’Of course,’’ Ryan smiled tightly, heart beating fast. His face was pinched, he knew it, but he tried to loosen it up. Chad didn't need to worry about him, this was his night. ‘’My ride's here, but I hope you have a good night. And a good- marriage, of course.’’ he tacked on the end awkwardly, rubbing his neck. Before Chad could say anything else, he turned, walking towards the taxi. Sliding in, he softly gave his address to the driver before looking out the window. Chad was still standing there, hands at his sides. In the dim lighting, Ryan could see his hands flex, clenching and unclenching. The last thing he saw before driving away was the door opening and Taylor stepping out, shooting a look at the escaping taxi.
That was almost seven years ago. And now, Taylor and Chad are divorced, or at least in the process of it. And Ryan hasn't spoken to, or even seen, Chad Danforth since then. God.
After almost an hour of scrolling through social media, Ryan knows almost too much about his former classmate. First of all, Chad is in the city for a basketball game almost a week from now. Secondly, rumours that Taylor and Chad were separated started a few years ago, after Chad was seen going to a bar? Or something, alone. Ryan has to snort at that. At least it wasn't his face plastered on people's magazines. Thirdly, Chad does not seem to have anyone else in mind since his divorce. No dates, no women. So it wasn't cheating that ended their marriage, thank god. Ryan doesn't know what he would do if that was the case.
He slumps back in bed, tossing his phone onto the blanket. Groaning, he checks his watch. Its far too late to be obsessing over Chad. Ryan sighs, clicking off the lamp beside his bed. In the dim moonlight, he can see the outline of the city skyline, and above that, the moon, stars speckled around it faintly. He falls asleep to memories of high school, playing on loop like a broken tape in his head.