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It was an average morning in Smileyland. Quack-Quack the duck walked to the fridge for his morning yogurt. To his horror, when he opened the fridge, he found it empty. He knew there was supposed to be yogurt inside - he'd counted them before bed last night. The only logical conclusion that could be drawn from this was that there was a yogurt thief.
The first thing he did was dig up all the anthills in Smileyland. After what had happened last time, he needed to make sure it wasn't the ants again. If it was, great - that solved his problem. If it wasn't - oh well, the ants deserved it for stealing his yogurt the previous time. It turned out to be the latter.
The next person Quack-Quack decided to ask was Stumpy.
"Quack?"
"Sorry, pal, haven't seen 'em," Stumpy said nonchalantly, not even looking up from his video game.
Quack-Quack immediately knew that the culprit wasn't Stumpy. Stumpy was a terrible liar and a complete idiot, so there was no way he could have lied in a way that wouldn't have instantly outed him as the thief.
The next person on Quack-Quack's list was Olaf. Quack-Quack stopped in at Olaf's igloo and saw Olaf and Olga eating frozen yogurt together, prompting him to go ballistic and accuse Olaf of being the thief. A very embarrassed Quack-Quack was thrown out of the igloo by Serguei after Olaf showed him the receipt from the store.
Maybe Quack-Quack should think of someone who had a motive for stealing his yogurt. Aha! Kaeloo had tried to confiscate it before, claiming that she was doing it for his own good. She might be the thief. Quack-Quack knocked on Kaeloo's bedroom door. Kaeloo answered, clutching a bathrobe around herself.
"Oh, hello, Quack-Quack!" Kaeloo greeted. Quack-Quack stared at Kaeloo. There was something white and sticky dribbling out of the corner of her mouth.
"Quack…" he pointed at Kaeloo's mouth, enraged. As he prepared to punch her, Mr. Cat appeared behind her, clad in only a pair of boxers.
"What's going on here?" the tomcat demanded to know.
Quack-Quack froze - Kaeloo was wearing nothing but a bathrobe, and worse, Mr. Cat was in nothing but his underwear, in her bedroom. With growing horror, he realized that the white substance dripping from Kaeloo's mouth was definitely not yogurt. The duck bolted from the room, horrified.
"What happened to him?" Kaeloo asked, scratching her head.
"Who cares? Let's get back to having fun ~ " Mr. Cat purred seductively.
Kaeloo giggled and followed him back into the room, shutting the door.
To take his mind off the horrifying thing that he had just witnessed, Quack-Quack tried to think of more suspects. Game Rule was far too lawful to ever consider stealing. Stumpy hadn't brought any of his sisters around to visit. His girlfriend, Eugly, had expressed anger over him paying more attention to the yogurt than to her, and allowing his addiction to interfere in their relationship. Maybe she had… No. Eugly knew what a lack of yogurt would do to him. She'd never. Which left only one suspect.
His future sister-in-law, The Disease.
Quack-Quack opened his phone and pulled up social media. The Disease was an influencer, after all. He typed in The Disease's username and went to its account page. Sure enough, there was a video of The Disease taking his yogurt out of his fridge.
"I'm pranking my sister's boyfriend by stealing his yogurt," it said smugly, an irritating grin on its face. Quack-Quack wanted to wipe that stupid smirk off its face forever. He marched over to the cat flap and entered without permission. He tried his best to ignore the noises emanating from the bedroom, where Kaeloo and Mr. Cat were "playing a game" together, and borrowed a bazooka. It was kind of surprising that someone as paranoid as Mr. Cat wouldn't keep his weapons locked up. Oh well, all the more convenient for Quack-Quack.
Quack-Quack barged into The Disease's bedroom.
"Ew, what are you doing here, loser?" it said disdainfully.
Quack-Quack pulled the bazooka out and blasted it. Repeatedly. Until he ran out of ammo. He looked at the chunky salsa on the ground. Ah. That was what it would look like if a bazooka was used on someone who wasn't indestructible.
Quack-Quack walked around the mess on the floor and went to The Disease's fridge to retrieve his yogurt. While he was there, he also took its money - it wouldn't be needing it in hell, after all. Maybe he could use it to pay for therapy now that he knew that his bully was banging his mom.