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And then, there was dark. Ironically so, as the opposite, it woke him up, too.
The lobby was somber already. Even the street was. Wow. Is it past six?
Osamu sat down. His trench coat, a loyal blanket, fell to his knees. His mouth tasted bitter; his back hurt. The world wasn’t made with people taller than one and seventy-five in mind.
Stretching cracked one vertebra or two. Tapping into his pocket, his phone wasn’t there. On his desk, then.
Firm steps marched in his direction. Windows closing, chairs being pushed, turning keys on doors. The figure passed by, ignoring the lobby couches and onto the kitchen.
What did I dream of? It had turned to smoke already. It’d been at the tip of his tongue. It wasn’t important.
“Good morning.” Kunikida appeared. The lantern of his phone was on in one hand, and a glass of water was in another. “Did you sleep well?”
“Believe it or not, I did.”
“Uh-huh.”
Osamu got the glass. Complaining was out of the picture when it was welcome. “What time is it?”
“Ten past six.” Kunikida pointed the light at his watch. Winter is coming… “I’ve closed everything.”
“I figured.”
“Good thing you seized the chance. It won’t happen every day.”
“I was about to ask if it would…”
“No, it won’t.”
Osamu gave him back the empty glass. Kunikida disappeared to the kitchen. From there, came the sound of dishes, sponges, a rag, and the cabinet.
“You can doze off. Today is fine.”
Before that text arrived, a loud complaint did. He didn’t even remember the topic. “Go tidy your desk”, “stop tapping your foot”, “answer the client’s emails”? It could’ve been any or all, and a “quit goofing off” ended it. It’d have fooled the unaware.
“So,” Osamu said, “do you wanna talk about something?”
Back from the kitchen, Kunikida didn’t respond on the spot. Instead, he took a different breath, nervously sighing. With the lights off, it was all. He does.
“If it’s no bother.” Kunikida tilted his head to the side, at the office. “Please.”
As expected. Osamu grinned, more to himself than anything. He stood up, throwing his trench coat over one shoulder.
They walked up to the windows. Watching the outside world, Kunikida had the topic stuck in his throat. If he’s sitting with the question… I believe I know what it is. And if I say something off the wall…
“Care to join me in a jump?” Osamu suggested.
“If we could fly freely.”
It was funny, gotta give you that. “Any plans for today?”
“Do you?”
“Staring at you.”
“Do you like it?”
“It’s a hobby. I’d do it for hours on end.”
Kunikida laughed. “Bogus.”
It’s not. The casting lights and shadows favored even the unfavored. Under bright light or in the dark… I have a lot to see.
“It’s about that… offer,” Kunikida said. “The one from last week.”
I was right. “Did you give it good thought?”
“A lot of thought.”
“Considering is already flattering.” Osamu ignored his chair and sat on the desk. “So, what do you say?”
I think you should.
Kunikida, with his back to the office, watched the nth passing car down there.
“If you need a second opinion…” Osamu said.
“That’s not it.”
“First times are like that.”
“Still giving me that one?”
“You’re untouched till proven touched.” Osamu was swinging his legs. “I gave you many tips…”
I’m kidding. You know I am. You also know I could solve that.
“There’s something I wanna clear up,” Kunikida said. That tone again. “The answer is up to you. I won’t be offended, whatever you say.”
Why are you taking so long?
“It’s not a matter of ‘will I or won’t I’.” Kunikida shook his head. His ponytail swung. Come closer. Take your clothes off. Damn it, do something. “Choose without thinking in those terms.”
At least, look at me.
“What you decide won’t change what I do or don’t do.” Kunikida straightened his back and turned around. “So…”
“What is it?”
“Are we dating?”
Ah. “That’s…” A laugh escaped him, like a strike to the stomach. “How sudden.”
“It’s not,” Kunikida said. “I thought for how long it seemed necessary.”
“It’s just improper overtime. Do you need that?”
“Not what I asked.”
Why talk about that now? “No fun allowed. I’m not surprised.”
Kunikida stepped forward. He put his hands on the desk, leaning on. Close, but not enough. “You don’t have to say yes,” he said.
I know.
“No one has.” Kunikida looked elsewhere. “Just tell me. Are we, or are we not?”
It’s not fair. You could think. He began, “Another time—”
One hand lifted his chin. Thumb and index finger. It didn’t press. It wasn’t loose, either. No trembling, no cold.
Don’t look at me.
“It’s a yes or no question,” Kunikida whispered. “It can’t be that hard.”
What if I had a heart attack? What if the world ended now? “What if”…
What if?
“Sure.” Osamu grinned, his eyes closed. “If you’re asking.”
I didn’t dream of that.
“…Right,” Kunikida said. “Okay.”
It was early… late? To correct himself. They’d met each other, face to face, zero gap. No. No. I can’t believe it. What have you done?
What if the Sun engulfed Earth in flames? What if he woke up the next moment?
At the tiniest signal, it’d stop. All he had to do was ask. You? “You”, my foot.
What have I done?
The hand on his chin let go. It bloomed to cup his cheek. Their eyes were half-open, at best.
They were apart for no reason. After all, they had done nothing much; nothing but tests and rehearsals. Like one’s feet in the waves, cuffs turned up.
The desk had nothing to hold onto. In front of him, there was. Neck, and shoulders, and waist. All so, so firm. He had to…
No, don’t let me speak. Making him shut up, or trying to, was commonplace. That way, well, there was a first time for everything.
Such gorgeous lips.
He’d often stare at them. Its unique quirks. The escaping sigh, lost in thought, through a part lasting till he counted to three. The specific twist of a doubt. Lines of expression, together with the forehead ones, and the eye ones… Wrinkling so early a face so lively.
Do you notice that? I don’t think so. There’s a lot you don’t see.
I could do this forever.
Little by little, they gained traction. Naturally so. Experience? He wouldn’t bet on a lot. Some people had a knack for it. Scouting and trying it out.
Too much pride could be the ruin of a kiss… but so could chastity. He’s a fast learner… Who deserved gentle pressure and caressing. One bite or two. Or the world.
Osamu let go of his waist. On to the hips, then. I’m so lucky.
Now, as for your luck today…
“Hey,” Kunikida interrupted. “What’s that?”
“Huh?”
Dizziness took him. His fingers stopped by the belt.
What’s with this palpitation?
“What are you doing?” Kunikida insisted.
Keep your breath. You need it more than me. “Don’t you want it?”
“Here?”
“Why not?” Rhetoric question, et cetera. “Do you wanna go somewhere else?”
No?
“Can we…” Kunikida looked away. “Can we take it easy?”
“Yes…?”
“But?”
How can you tell? He repeated, “Why not?”
Silence. Aren’t you into it? You look into it.
“Well.” Osamu skipped a sigh. “Doing ‘just this’ exists…”
In the sense it’s a thing you can do.
“Don’t you like it?” Kunikida asked.
“I do.”
“I mean. If it’s a problem, break up with—”
“Already?” Osamu lifted his gaze. “It just started.”
And you’re thinking of the end. Am I able to judge?
“You’re right,” Kunikida admitted.
Don’t make that face. “Come back here.”
Tongue, now, please.