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“What if Qu—what if he does come back?” asked Dream.
It was probably the dozenth time he had asked some variation of that question, always with a tone that was forcefully light and always while looking at Techno with an expression of barely restrained fear. Techno hummed to himself as he carefully turned the potatoes over. They were lined up as close to the lava as possible without catching fire to cook as best as he could. Anything was better than the raw potatoes that Dream insisted were fine despite the fact they clearly were a struggle for him to eat. Thinking about it made Techno rub his own jaw.
“I mean, it’s been a long time and he hasn’t shown up yet, man. I think we’re safe.”
At the word ‘safe’, Dream shivered and Techno frowned. The bruises had faded by now and most of the injuries had healed but it was clear just by looking at him why Dream didn’t believe it.
“Yeah, but… If he does come back, it’s—He’s got leverage, right? You’re here. He could, like. I don’t know. He could torture you so I talk.”
That thought hadn’t crossed Techno’s mind before and now that Dream had said it out loud, he couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a very obvious reason to have lured him into the same cell. He was kicking himself for not realizing that sooner but it had been so hard to wrap his head around the fact that even someone like Quackity could stoop to torture. He cleared his throat.
“Well, the simple solution to that, Dream, is you don’t talk,” he said as gently as possible.
Without a moment of hesitation, Dream rolled his eyes and said, “I would, though.”
Techno shook his head with a laugh, the smile on his face fond.
“Yeah, that’s fair. That’s fair. I’d probably talk, too.” He reached out and touched one of the potatoes, testing to see if it had softened enough yet. “Alright, look. I’ve got an idea.”
One of Dream’s eyebrows lifted. The skepticism was clear.
“What?”
“We get married,” said Techno.
“WHAT?”
Dream stared at him and it took Techno a lot of effort not to start laughing.
“No, no, I’m serious, Dream.” He really needed to keep a straight face because he wasn’t lying and Dream’s face was only getting more and more exasperated. “Listen, it’s a law, yeah? Spousal privilege. If you’re married, you legally can’t be forced to reveal anything about your spouse.”
“That’s—” Dream stopped and frowned. His brow was furrowed in thought, eyes squinting. “Yeah, okay, but he’s—he’s not going to listen to the law, Techno. He tortured me! That’s illegal!”
“Is it?”
That made Dream pause. He tilted his head up, the gears turning, and Techno turned back to the potatoes. They weren’t perfect but they were a whole heck of a lot better than they had been and his stomach was growling. If he was hungry, Dream had to be starving. He carefully pushed one in front of Dream.
“I-I don’t know,” Dream finally said and poked the potato with one finger. “I still don’t get how being married will help.”
Techno ignored the heat from the potato and carefully broke it in half. It was softer though not fully cooked. He didn’t think he could get them fully cooked without burning them, not without any sort of cooking utensil.
“Because then we’ll just tell him that legally he can’t make us say anything. He’d be breakin’ the law and even if he doesn’t care about that, I’m a law abidin’ citizen so clearly I can’t talk,” he said.
A laugh escaped Dream and he grinned.
“Since when?”
“Since always, Dream. I can’t believe you’d imply otherwise.” He scooted across the obsidian floor until he was next to Dream then grabbed his potato and broke it in half as well. He held out one piece to Dream. “I’m tellin’ you, it’s a fool proof plan.”
Looking from Techno to the potato and back, Dream groaned a little, knowing Techno wouldn't give up until he ate something. He took the potato and took a small bite, chewing slowly.
“So, what? We just lie and say we’re married?”
Techno sighed, relieved. It had been a challenge to get Dream to eat. He took a bite of his own potato and leaned against Dream’s shoulder. The other man pushed into him, mouth curling up into a grin. His hair was long enough now that it brushed against Techno’s arm.
“Exactly, man. Exactly.”
Dream rolled his eyes again but he was smiling and he took another bite of his potato as his free hand tapped absent-mindedly on Techno’s leg.
“Well. I still think it’s stupid,” he said around a mouthful of potato. “But it’d really piss Sam and him off.”
For a moment, Techno watched Dream’s fingers tapping gently against his thigh. There was a strange fluttering in his chest.
“Oh, I see how it is. You’re only marryin’ me as an act of rebellion.”
Glancing at Techno from the corner of his eye, Dream shrugged. He took one last bite of the potato before setting it down and it wasn’t until he had swallowed that he spoke.
“Don’t—Don’t be stupid. I’m technically not even marrying you.”
Dream started to pull his hand away, a faint blush on his face as if he had just now noticed what he was doing, and Techno stopped him, wrapping his hand up in his own. Briefly, Dream tensed and then wiggled his remaining fingers between Techno’s. Techno smiled.
“Oh, of course, of course. Still, we oughta make it look convincin’,” he said, squeezing Dream’s hand. “Y’know, just in case.”
Laughing quietly, Dream relaxed against Techno’s side.
“Right. Just in case.”