Work Text:
The street outside of the car felt distant, blurred as if existing on a separate plane.
The low hum of the car engine filled the silence, its vibrations bouncing off the walls of Jake’s skull and turning his creeping exhaustion into a dull, phantom migraine. He sat in the driver’s seat, staring through the windshield at the endless raindrops tracing down the glass in a race, merging into bigger clusters or melting into the edges of the frame as his hand gripped the steering wheel loosely.
Jake wasn’t sure how long he’d been parked there, lost in thought and dull to the world around him, but it was apparently long enough for his sandwich to get stale and for his fingertips to grow numb from the cold, the buzzing in his pocket becoming a white background noise. Another message. Jake didn’t even glance at his phone, he already knew who it was anyway.
The passenger door opened with a sudden click, momentarily jolting him from his daze.
“Afternoon, hyung.”
Jake raised his eyes, seeing the fury of dark, slightly damp hair and an edgy grin plastered onto the face of his partner, who slid into the seat with all the confidence and flair of someone entirely too young to be this self-assured in his front mirror. He held up two steaming cups of coffee, grinning boyishly. “Figured you’d need this more than me. You look at least forty without caffeine, no offense.”
He blinked at Ni-ki, unimpressed. “You’re late,” he muttered, accepting the cup despite his comment.
“And you are predictable,” Ni-ki shot back with a teasing eye-roll in a dramatic manner that should have been more annoying than it was, while already peeling the paper sleeve off his own cup. “Didn’t even bother to text me when you got here, though. I’m a little hurt, Jake-hyung, were you not even a little worried about where I’ve been?”
Jake shook his head with a sigh but said nothing. Ni-ki’s presence had only been official for a few days, and already the kid was everywhere — talking, probing, filling the silence he usually preferred, clearly sent to test Jake’s patience.
He let himself ponder.
“ Detective Sim Jaeyun? ” Ni-ki asked carelessly the first day, walking up to his workplace and offering him a dashing smile that was very out of place in the glum office during their introduction. His words were confident and sharp but laced with a certain playful undertone.
Jake looked up from his paperwork, feeling a headache work its way up his temples prematurely to see a tall, scrawny boy, likely in his early twenties, standing in front of his desk patiently. His posture was casual, but his sharp eyes scanned the room with precision, taking everything in like a sponge with an untamed enthusiasm. Jake gave him a slow once-over. The kid was wearing a freshly pressed suit that didn’t quite fit, the sleeves just a touch too long, the tie slightly crooked, and his shiny dress shoes way too new, his dark hair styled in a way that tried to scream effortlessly cool , but Jake saw through the facade immediately. This was a boy trying very hard to look like a man.
Jake raised an eyebrow. “ You lost, kid? ”
The boy’s mouth twitched like he was trying not to grin wider. “ Nope. Riki Nishimura. New recruit. Chief assigned me to your case, ” the boy had replied, bowing with a cheeky smile that made it impossible to tell if he was being respectful or sarcastic. Jake leaned towards the latter. “ Please, take good care of me. ”
Of course. Jake exhaled and leaned back in his chair, studying the kid — Riki , he supposed. Great potential, they’d said in the briefing. Top of his academy class with sharp instincts and a promising record, a so-called genius . He huffed tiredly, — geniuses didn’t mean much in this line of work anyway, this wasn’t about brains. It was about nerves.
“ High schoolers don’t last long here, ” Jake muttered, flipping a page in his file and waving his hand dismissively.
“ And cynics live forever, huh? ” Riki shot back without missing a beat. His smile was brighter now, more bratty as he shoved his hands into his pockets and tilted his head, as if daring Jake to argue. It was an attractive look on him.
Jake stared at him for a long while, one eyebrow quirked up in bemusement. “ Are you always this mouthy with your superiors, Nishimura Riki-ssi? ”
“ Only the ones who underestimate me, ” he chuckled, biting his lip to try and suppress his unreasonable, infuriatingly out-of-place excitement. “ And please, just call me Ni-ki. ”
A part of Jake wanted to tell the kid to get lost, but another part — the part that had been doing this job too long — couldn’t help but respect the guts it took to say that. His first impression was mixed but not necessarily negative, he will give Ni-ki that, his confidence was as big of a flaw as it was an advantage. Jake guessed that after a while, he could probably get accustomed to his foul attitude if he had to just fine.
Now, in the present, Jake stole a glance at the figure lounging in the passenger seat, taking a cautious sip of the coffee Ni-ki had just brought him. It was sweet — too sweet — but the warmth helped soothe the itchy bite of the frost on his palms. “Let’s just get to work, Ni-ki-ssi,” he said flatly, diverting his eyes to look straight ahead.
Ni-ki leaned back, stretching his long legs out as much as the cramped car would allow, the drops on his clothes and hair wetting the entirety of the right side of Jake’s car without much care. “Geez, Detective Sim, lighten up a little. We’ve been glued together for a week already, we should start getting more comfortable soon. I’m sorry I was a pain on the first day but please, smile a little, you’re stressing me out.”
Jake shot him a sidelong glance. “You’ve actually been a pain for the whole week but okay.”
That earned him a playful groan. “What the hell, hyung,” Ni-ki said, clutching his chest dramatically. “And after I brought you coffee! This is how you treat your poor partner? Cruel, man.”
Despite himself, Jake felt a corner of his lips twitch — it wasn’t a smile, not quite, but it was close enough to make Ni-ki grin triumphantly, stirring in his seat and leaning closer to Jake. “There it is!” he said. “I knew your facial muscles still remembered how to do that.”
Jake shook his head, exasperated, taking another sip of the too-sweet coffee. The now real smirk felt rusty on his face but was still pleasant. This drink wasn’t too bad once he got used to it, really.
Then, his phone buzzed again, the single ping enough to ruin the moment, a faint vibration that seemed louder than it should have been in the isolated quiet of the car. He stiffened.
“Someone’s popular,” Ni-ki whistled after observing this exact scenario unfold at least ten times already, but Jake didn’t respond. When he looked at his phone, his mind was unfocused, but he didn’t need to read the sender’s name to guess anyway.
BLOCK AND AVOID
The contact was burned into his memory, to the point where he would recognize the digits even if he was woken up in the middle of the night under the barrel of a gun, barely suppressing a full-body shiver. The messages had been coming in all week — casual, playful, even apologetic at times. The most recent one had simply read:
BLOCK AND AVOID 12:36
i miss you :(
Jake swallowed hard, his hand tightening around the coffee cup as he thoughtlessly turned his phone face-down on the console and stared out the window again. The chill that ran down his spine was impossible to ignore, but he’d gotten good at pretending — he knew it was selfish and would cost both him and some innocent stranger greatly, but Jake was just so, so tired, he prayed god would forgive him for his sins somehow.
“Everything okay?” Ni-ki asked, his teasing tone softening just a fraction, seemingly catching onto his partner’s sudden shift in mood.
Jake nodded curtly and readjusted his grip on the wheel. The crows sat on the wires by the road ominously. “Yeah. Focus on the job.”
The police station was as busy as ever when they arrived, the fluorescent lights flickering faintly above the desks and monitors, people in uniforms walking around the office in unhurried flow. Jake made his way to his place with practiced ease, almost on a mindless autopilot, Ni-ki trailing behind him like a baby duckling with an enthusiasm that reminded Jake of himself in some faraway memory. His chest clenched and he caught himself passively hoping the kid’s spark would burn for longer than his did.
“Detective Sim.”
The chief intersected them on the way to their workplace before Jake could sit down, a thick file in his hand, his expression grim. Jake felt his heart drop, looking at the unfamiliar folder. “We’ve got another one.”
They didn’t need to ask what the chief meant.
Ni-ki immediately perked up, his usual playful demeanor replaced by sharp focus and professional pragmatism as he leaned closer over Jake’s shoulder to take a look. “Same deal?”
The chief nodded, handing over the file and Jake’s stomach twisted with dread as he flipped it open, fingers trembling ghostly. The victim’s photo stared back at him — dark hair, lean frame, tan skin and sharp features, about Jake’s height. The guy was young and had a bright, puppy-like smile on one of the photos attached to the case, his eyes crinkling at the corners from bubbling laughter, brimming with life. Jake’s hands tightened on the sheets as he skimmed the report, heart pounding while he pieced together the killer’s movements. It was all too familiar, — the precision, the pattern, the taunting deliberateness, — always the same, like a cruel punchline to a joke only one person found funny.
“Definitely fits the profile,” Ni-ki muttered, scanning the details. “This guy’s not subtle, huh? He’s got good taste though, that guy.”
Jake flinched at the remark. “Don’t say that.”
Ni-ki skimmed through the folder himself next, humming thoughtfully while flipping through photos and reports. “Why not? I think it’s pretty accurate. They do have a type — pretty dark-haired guys who look like they just walked out of a fancy magazine cover shoot,” Ni-ki looked at him unreadably, as if studying his reaction, a hint of suppressed worry flickering on his face before it took its usual, neutrally sassy calmness. “You should take that as a compliment, by the way. You fit the bill.”
Ni-ki’s chatter faded into the background as Jake’s thoughts drifted, chest tight. He tried not to think about the images of the new corpse, the lifeless body posed and arranged meticulously, almost lovingly, the work done like a piece of art with hands tied up and folded neatly, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, blood pooling like spilled ink on the pristine white sheets of the victim’s bed. Chillingly beautiful.
His next exhale was weak and a bit shaky. Jake could see the room in perfect detail if he closed his eyes: the faint smell of iron, the way the dim light had cast long shadows, the rough press of silk bands against his wrists. His heart picked up its pace even as his face remained carefully blank.
Ni-ki didn’t have to say more. He knew the type well, perhaps even personally.
The buzz in his pocket came again, except this time Jake couldn’t afford to ignore it. He willed his nerves to steel and pulled out his phone, staring at the screen.
BLOCK AND AVOID 12:49
dinner tonight?
BLOCK AND AVOID 13:20
i’m starting to feel neglected
His fingers hesitated over the keyboard for only a moment before he typed out a single word in response.
You 13:22
Okay
“Jake?” Ni-ki’s voice pulled him back.
The flash of the message sent Jake’s heart flying off a high-rise rooftop along with it, leaving only suffocating numbness and unnatural fear in its wake. Jake shoved his phone back into his pocket, standing abruptly, slightly startling the kid who was looking at him expectantly. Their eye contact was tense and uncomfortable.
“I’ll handle the paperwork,” Jake said eventually, his voice weirdly hoarse.
Ni-ki gave him a long, complicated glance like he wanted to say something, but ultimately chose to remain silent. He didn’t push. “Got it, Detective Sim,” he said instead.
Jake closed his eyes, his heart pounding in his chest, willing the images of big deer eyes, honey skin, and a sweet, clumsy smile to disappear and let him breathe for just a second.
They agreed to meet at a nice restaurant this evening.
Jake tugged at the collar of his shirt for what felt like the hundredth time, his fingers brushing against the fabric in discomfort. It wasn’t that his clothes didn’t fit — they did, perfectly tailored, in fact — but they felt wrong and suffocating, ironically matching the situation he was putting himself in. Stifling. He should be turning around, deleting the damned number, and preferably moving far, far away, but Jake was gradually proving himself to be nothing more than just a pathetic fool. Instead of saving himself, he rubbed at the back of his neck, his skin prickling with unease as he stepped into the softly lit restaurant like a mouse into a trap.
The place greeted him with an ambient murmur of conversations and clinking cutlery, the waiters circling the tables with plates and notepads, clad in nice, semi-formal uniforms. It was warm and inviting, the interior cozy and well-thought-out, but Jake felt a chill settle over him anyway as his eyes scanned the room searching for a familiar face.
And there he was.
Lee Heeseung sat at a corner table, all relaxed grace and soft laughter, his hair messily falling over his forehead, giving him a gentle, youthful vibe, his handsome features illuminated by the low light, every detail soft yet striking. On his face was a pretty, shy smile, the kind that made his eyes crinkle at the corners, blinding the entire room and making the stars dull as his attention focused on the young waitress standing beside him. She was grinning too, her cheeks flushed as she hung onto his every word, her eyes sparkling as if the man before her was someone she waited for her entire life. Jake was sick.
Then, slowly, Heeseung turned his head, as if sensing his piercing gaze, and their eyes met.
The world seemed to stop and all the noise faded out like they were in a movie, except instead of falling in love for the rest of his happily ever after all Jake felt was scorching, nauseating dread.
“Jake,” Heeseung said warmly, his face lighting up with bright, genuine happiness, the kind of expression that would undoubtedly disarm anyone, including himself from a year ago. He spared the waitress a brief glance and humorlessly wondered if she, by chance, mistakenly thought he was the luckiest man in the world while Heeseung stood, his movements fluid and natural, and gestured to the seat across from him. He really was so charming. “I was starting to think you wouldn’t show,” he said, his tone light, a little teasing.
Jake forced a polite nod as he made his way to the table, taking the seat and smoothening out the folds on his dress pants mechanically. “I said I’d be here,” he replied, his voice clipped but steady, attempting to mask his disdain.
Heeseung’s smile didn’t falter. If anything, it softened, his gaze lingering on Jake in a way that made his skin crawl with how honest the affection in them seemed even to himself. It really messed with his head. “I really appreciate it,” he said, breathily. “You’ve been busy, haven’t you? Work must be exhausting.”
Jake looked away, focusing on the menu in front of him even though he had no intention of eating, his gaze was distant but he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to avoid Heeseung’s eyes. “It’s alright,” he replied.
The waitress returned soon enough, perhaps a beat too fast, standing a little too close by Heeseung’s side, her voice overly sweet as she asked if they were ready to order. Heeseung glanced at Jake but didn’t press when he shook his head, opting to order for himself first, his voice calm and polite as he thanked the waitress with another of those heart-melting smiles. Jake had been looking at the exact same page for the past few minutes and he was sure Heeseung noticed, but his mind was hazy enough to let it happen, ignoring how dangerous his disinterest was.
As soon as she left, though, Heeseung’s attention snapped back to Jake, the switch so subtle yet unnerving that it made Jake’s throat tighten and the temperature in the room drop a few degrees.
“Am I making you uncomfortable, Jaeyun-ah?” Heeseung asked casually, but there was an edge to his words, the curve of his lips turning taunting. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
Jake met his gaze evenly, though his hands tightened into fists beneath the table, fighting off the tremor that seemed to be his body’s natural response to Heeseung’s presence. “I’ve been busy, hyung. You said so yourself,” he repeated.
Heeseung tilted his head, studying him. “Busy. Right, I did,” he echoed, a trace of amusement in his tone. “I suppose I can forgive you. After all, I know how important your work is to you. So cute.”
Jake didn’t respond, ignoring the mockery laced into his words and keeping his face carefully neutral as Heeseung leaned forward slightly, resting his chin on one hand. The shifts in his behavior were so imperceptible and soft and yet Jake couldn’t afford to miss a single one.
“I missed you, though,” Heeseung continued, his voice softening back into that sentimental, lovely mutter that sent Jake’s head spinning. Heeseung sounded almost unsure. “It’s not the same without you around, you know.”
Jake swallowed hard, forcing himself to keep holding his gaze. He mentally counted to five. “I can’t make time for you whenever you feel like seeing me, Heeseung-hyung,” he blurted out, his tone sharp enough to cut through the tension, voice sounding bolder than he felt and foreign to his ears. “You didn’t have to hurry me up so abruptly.”
Heeseung blinked, face unreadable, then smiled — slowly, maybe a little apologetically — and leaned back in his chair. “Still, I really wanted to see you,” he admitted simply, scratching the back of his neck, a blush coloring the tips of his ears. Heeseung always seemed so unbothered, unshaken by Jake’s coldness, as if he found it endearing rather than frustrating and acted shy at the most random times after doing horrible things, and it made everything all the more confusingly terrifying.
Their conversation was mostly one-sided, despite Heeseung’s words flowing out nicely and engagingly, like a picture-perfect boyfriend looking out for his lover and taking them out to a nice meal after a hard day of work. He treated him so tenderly, sharing stories and listening when he did talk, yet Jake remained distant, feeling like prey before a skilled sniper hidden in the bushes of sweet pleasantries and considerate attentiveness. When their plates arrived, Jake’s appetite was nonexistent and he barely touched his food, opting to poke at his salad while Heeseung took his time cutting up and chewing his steak. He didn’t comment on it. Jake counted seconds.
Eventually, after finishing his meal and giving their waitress one last charming smile with the request of the bill, Heeseung reached across the table, his hand brushing against Jake’s in a gesture that was almost hesitant and Jake froze, his breath catching as Heeseung’s warm fingers settled over his ice-cold ones weightlessly.
“Jake-ah,” Heeseung said softly, his voice carrying a vulnerability that felt entirely too practiced, natural to Heeseung yet way too wrong with everything Jake knew about the man. He looked up at him through dark lashes, his smile faint but heartbreakingly sweet, so good at playing pretend that Jake wondered if there was a chance it was genuine. “Do you want to go home with me tonight?”
The words hung in the air, suffocating, heavy, and not really a question at all.
Jake’s heart pounded in his chest, his nerves fraying with every second of silence that followed. He forced himself to stay calm, to mask the fear and dissociate from the traitorous excitement creeping up his spine, thorny and wrong. Heeseung’s touch was gentle, almost comforting, loving , but Jake knew better.
Still, he nodded, once, his voice a barely audible exhale. “Yeah,” his head spun as he averted his eyes. “Yes, hyung.”
The drive to Jake’s apartment was quiet, the tension thick and sticky between them. Heeseung looked different in the moonlight, the wind from the open window blowing his soft fringe away from his face, exposing the sharp, edgy angles that were smoothed out by the artificial lighting of the restaurant and overshadowed by his big, deceptively innocent eyes. The number the waitress slipped in with their bill burned away between his fingers, lit on fire by the butt of the cigarette Heeseung had in his mouth which he occasionally passed over to Jake. Marlboro. Heeseung let the half-burnt paper slip from his hold and fly out the window, his now free hand finding its way to rest over Jake’s leg instead. He seemed perfectly at ease, humming prettily to the music playing on the radio, while Jake stared out at the flashing streets, his jaw clenched, coughing at every intake of smoke from the inexperience.
By the time they reached his apartment, Jake’s hands were trembling, the nicotine doing little to calm his nerves. He supposed it was better than nothing anyway, as he fumbled with the keys, finally managing to push the door open after what felt like forever and stepping aside to let Heeseung in despite all his instincts screaming at him to run . The smile on Heeseung’s face was predatory and Jake closed his eyes to convince himself it wasn’t there.
The rest of the night passed in a haze. Heeseung’s touch was gentle, his kisses soft and unhurried, but Jake couldn’t shake the feeling of being trapped like a moth drawn to a flame it couldn’t escape, its heat burning away at his flesh in the form of lovebites to his trembling thighs and greedy embraces caging him in. His legs shook and his moans drowned away the scattered prayers Jake repeated in his mind, begging the gods desperately to let him wake up to see one more morning and have the strength to finally walk away, fear mixing up with desire into a toxic, addictingly honey-like blend.
An hour after they both came down from their highs, Jake lay awake in the darkness of his room, staring at the ceiling as Heeseung slept soundly pressed beside him. He could feel the weight of Heeseung’s arm draped over his chest, the warmth of his breath against his shoulder, so soft, pliant, pretty in his slumber, the curve of his lips softened into a cute pout and complimented by the dull light bouncing off his messy hair gorgeously, the sight almost enough to trick Jake into seeing a human in Heeseung. Almost. Jake was intimately familiar with the monster lurking behind those soft features, the careful choreography of every smile, every word, every little touch. Heeseung didn’t mix well with feelings. His kindness, his affection was a razor blade wrapped in silk and Jake had tasted the edge too many times to be fooled now, yet here he was, pressed into the sheets by a warmth that felt more suffocating than comforting despite being fully aware of the poison. The juxtaposition of Heeseung’s very being left him delirious and made Jake hate himself every time he let the man get to his body and his head.
In a way, Heeseung had always been beautiful, Jake thought bitterly. Too beautiful. Too sweet. Too perfect.
And far too dangerous.
It was well past sunrise when Jake stirred in his seat at the precinct, dragging himself back to consciousness as the sounds of ringing phones and clattering keyboards filtered in around him. The office had come alive with the usual morning buzz, and through the fog of exhaustion, Jake’s mind drifted dazedly between their case and the events of the night before, pulsing with Heeseung’s contagious breathy laugh. He didn’t want to think about it, not now, not ever. His fingers instinctively went over his shirt in places on his body that still hurt faintly, brushing against the marks Heeseung had left on his collarbones and he pulled his collar higher, obscuring them as much as he could, though the fabric felt a touch too rough against his skin.
“Earth to Jake-hyung.”
The chirp broke through his thoughts like a ray of sunlight forcing its way through thick curtains. Jake glanced up just as Ni-ki plopped down at the desk across from his, a paper bag in one hand and his usual lazy grin on full display. “I brought doughnuts. And no, I didn’t get any plain ones. We’re not doing plain.”
Jake hummed absently, his attention shifting back to the paperwork scattered across his desk, a ghost of a smirk on his face. “That’s considerate.”
“You’re welcome,” Ni-ki replied breezily, leaning back in his chair as he rummaged through the bag, pulling out a glazed doughnut and taking a bite with exaggerated satisfaction. “So, how’s the old man holding up this morning?”
Jake didn’t answer, used to tuning out Ni-ki’s snarky cheekiness, his pen scribbling across a page with a report he was preparing for the higher-ups. Eventually, though, he raised his head after dotting the running sentence, questioning his partner’s sudden silence when he caught the way the younger man’s eyes flickered over him, pausing mid-bite as his grin faltered ever so slightly.
“Hyung,” Ni-ki said, his tone shifting, almost imperceptibly. “What’s that on your neck?”
Jake froze, the habitual spin of his pen coming to an abrupt halt. He exhaled slowly, his expression carefully guarded as he met Ni-ki’s gaze. “Nothing,” he said, his voice sharper than he intended as he covered a particularly high-up hickey with his palm self-consciously.
Ni-ki’s brow furrowed, his playful demeanor faltering for the briefest moment as his eyes lingered on the faint marks just visible above Jake’s collar. Then, just as quickly, his usual smile returned, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Aha, gotcha,” he said lightly, brushing a crumb from his lap. “I guess you had a fun night, then.”
Jake didn’t reply, but he saw it — the flicker of something in Ni-ki’s expression, a shadow of irritation that disappeared as quickly as it had come. For a moment, Jake felt a pang of something uncomfortably close to guilt. Ni-ki was smart, but he wasn’t discrete, everything he felt and thought worn on his sleeve and clumsily masked as cool indifference through his attitude, a clinginess he tried to play off as natural friendliness. There was still an innocence to him, a naivety that Jake found himself almost unwilling to taint with the reality of his own burdens.
Jake sighed after a bit. Without a word, he rose from his chair and made his way to the breakroom. He wasn’t sure why he did it, he knew he shouldn’t indulge his subordinate in whatever silly feelings he was entertaining, but he found himself pouring a fresh cup of coffee, adding a generous amount of cream, sugar, and more milk than actual caffeine — exactly the way Ni-ki always ordered it. He guessed he had grown soft.
When he returned to the office, he placed the cup on Ni-ki’s desk wordlessly before sitting back down on his own and continuing his report. For a moment, there was silence between them, the usual banter absent but then, out of the corner of his eye, Jake caught the way Ni-ki’s face lit up with a shy, almost childlike grin that was unlike the sharp smirks he usually sported as he looked at the coffee, a blush tinting his cheeks a cute pink shade. It was a small thing, really, but the expression was so genuine, so completely Ni-ki, that Jake couldn’t help but feel his own lips twitch into the faintest of smiles.
***
The days seemed to go by in a blur of pointless investigations and menial reports, with Jake dancing around the serial killer case that he solved long ago but knew would ruin his perfect record anyway aimlessly. He wasn’t sure how to approach it, wasn’t sure if he could outrun the guilt of staying quiet or if it would consume him and make him join the array of corpses left at the murderer’s grace. A tired part of his brain supposed that the mundaneness of this pondering was somewhat relaxing when compared to the frantic pace of the detective job he had to do before he met the dead end in the face of a case where he knew the killer intimately.
His partner was sadly much less passive than he was.
Ni-ki sat across from him, lounged in his chair, his feet propped on the edge of the desk as he was flipping through a folder with the sort of aimless nonchalance that made Jake wonder if he was even paying attention. Jake brushed the thought away fairly quickly anyway, — by now he knew that Ni-ki’s edgy behavior was just a wall of pretense he built up to cover up the messy, tryhard seriousness with which he approached his work that he apparently deemed uncool. It made him giggle.
“Man,” Ni-ki said finally, snapping the folder shut with a sigh and sitting more appropriately, “I don’t know how you do this every day. Staring at these files is like trying to read a boring documentary script except half of the parts are missing and the rest are written in invisible ink.”
Jake glanced up from his own stack of paperwork, offering an amused half-smile. How poetic. “Welcome to homicide. Glamorous, isn’t it?”
“I was promised action and intrigue,” Ni-ki whined, the corner of his mouth quirking up despite the silent tantrum he was throwing. “Instead, I’m babysitting cold coffee and pretending to look busy.”
Jake shook his head, a faint, high-pitched chuckle that tugged a satisfied grin out of Ni-ki escaping him briefly before he returned to his notes. He quickly grew used to the endless pestering and it became a welcome distraction from the growing unease gnawing at his nerves. He had been paying Heeseung more attention lately, responding within a day and agreeing to meet for quick lunch breaks occasionally, but the tension in the air felt like a heavy pause before a storm, and Jake didn’t like how he couldn’t tell if it was about to break.
“Seriously, is he on a vacation or something?” Ni-ki asked suddenly, his voice dramatically dropping a notch. He tried to play it off as a joke, but the glimmer of naive hope still slipped through his delivery. “Why’s he not doing anything? What if the guy’s gone quiet for good? Maybe he’s finished?”
Jake snorted at the eagerness, a dry, humorless sound that drew Ni-ki’s attention like a spotlight. “He’s not finished,” Jake said, the edge in his tone a bit too self-assured. He leaned back in his chair, rubbing a hand over his jaw, deep in thought. “Killers like this don’t stop, not unless they’re dead or locked up. He’s just stalling.”
Ni-ki frowned, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk. “You sound pretty sure of that.”
“Trust me,” Jake said, his voice softer now, almost bitter. He was never able to keep going for long, but he and Heeseung had a proper coffee date this weekend so the beast was temporarily tamed, Ni-ki really was worried for nothing even if he didn’t have to know that. “With him, there’s always a next time. Though it will probably take a bit.”
The junior detective studied him for a moment, his dark eyes searching Jake’s face for something unspoken with a frown. Ni-ki didn’t look convinced, the gears in his head turning almost visibly, but he eventually dropped the subject, muttering something under his breath as he turned back to his own desk. Jake let the silence hang between them, ignoring the tiny knot of discomfort, somewhat closer to unease that had lodged itself in his chest, a nagging reminder that while he had the upper hand for now, the line he was walking was thin. If Ni-ki ever found out just how Jake knew there wouldn’t be another murder anytime soon, it wouldn’t be suspicion he was dealing with. It would be betrayal and jail time.
After a beat of loaded silence, Ni-ki turned back around again, the tension in his posture dissipating slightly and his smirk returning like a shield guarding him from his own doubt. “Well, until then, guess we’ll just have to keep the coffee machine occupied.”
Jake couldn’t help but scoff openly at that, amusement in his tone slipping through. “Cheeky brat.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ni-ki shot back with a wink, his grin widening when Jake rolled his eyes and his face a little too honest, almost ecstatic to see Jake give him a reaction.
Jake didn’t mind it as much as he pretended he did.
It wasn’t the first time Jake had noticed his eagerness and it wasn’t the first time he felt Ni-ki’s gaze linger for reasons that went beyond professional curiosity. Aside from the small mishaps when Ni-ki’s quiet, contemplative pauses seemed to pierce through him almost physically and the times when his fooling around made Jake outright annoyed, he found the man’s presence increasingly more enjoyable. Despite his playful, almost cocky demeanor, there was a sincerity in Ni-ki’s company that Jake had started to rely on, even if he didn’t want to admit it outright, and Ni-ki’s texts — random, absurd, sometimes surprisingly heartfelt — broke through the haze of Jake’s stress in a way little else did.
It had started with the kid sending him memes — bad ones, mostly.
Ni-ki (Annoying) 21:30
hyung this reminded me of you lol
[IMG]
Jake had ignored it at first. He wasn’t a fan of humor via captioned animal pictures and he didn’t know how to react to being compared to a goofy-looking grumpy dog, but the absurdity of it had stuck in his mind longer than he expected it to. He didn’t reply to that text, but the next day, when Ni-ki sent him a picture of a croissant precariously balanced on a coffee mug on its edge, Jake had responded with a dry You’re going to spill that .
From there, it had snowballed into casual conversations — Ni-ki would sometimes send pictures of his workspace, complain about the office coffee, or poke fun at Jake’s perfectly average height. Jake would fire back with short, sarcastic replies that somehow kept Ni-ki grinning on the other end of the line which Jake knew from seeing him on his phone around the office during the day.
He knew about Ni-ki’s crush — how could he not? The boy wasn’t exactly subtle, and Jake wasn’t stupid, nor was he blind. But he also knew that Ni-ki didn’t expect anything from him, the flirting was harmless, a game Ni-ki played to see how far he could push before Jake responded with one of his rare, equally teasing retorts. Jake wasn’t sure why he let it continue when Ni-ki was this much of a risk and he had enough of his own things to deal with, his hands full with his unconventional situationship and work. Maybe it was the way Ni-ki’s cheeks would flush pink when he accidentally crossed a line, the way he’d stumble over his words trying to backtrack, his usual cockiness giving way to flustered shyness. Or maybe it was the way Ni-ki’s confidence returned tenfold the moment Jake threw a witty comment back at him, a silent acknowledgment that Jake didn’t really mind the attention all the time. Jake could tell that his partner, despite his bold attitude, was still just as unsure as anyone else when it came to navigating the space between professionalism and personal life. And maybe that’s what made it so easy for Jake to brush it off.
What surprised Jake about the whole thing, though, was how much Ni-ki unknowingly helped with handling Heeseung, the conversations with the man flowing much less tersely, perhaps due to the way Ni-ki’s thoughtless texts seemed a little too bold for people of their status and how liberated it made Jake feel about approaching someone as dangerous as Heeseung. The memes he got from his subordinate would sometimes find themselves in his chat with the man, easing the tension between them, seemingly endearing the latter and giving the next dark-haired, sharp-cheeked guy a little more time to live much to Jake’s relief.
Jake sat in his dimly lit apartment that evening, scrolling through his latest chatlogs. There was a message from Ni-ki from a couple of hours ago — a clip of a stuffed bunny being flung into a wall in rage, the caption saying how I feel after hearing them call me a kid. There was also an ongoing conversation he had with Heeseung, talking about places they should visit this winter, an argument about whether they should go for the mulled wine or the ice rink first, so ridiculously normal Jake was confused himself. Things were complicated there.
A new notification came and Jake thoughtlessly tapped it open, looking at a silly selfie from Ni-ki — the boy had scribbled black dots all over a rubber duck messily and proclaimed it a cheetah, holding it next to his face while sticking his tongue out. It was so ridiculous Jake couldn’t help the incredulous laugh that spilled from his mouth. Jake would never admit it out loud, but Ni-ki’s goofing around had a way of making his world feel a little less suffocating, offering a much-needed reprieve.
“ Y’know what I think? ” Ni-ki asked once, dropping into the chair across from Jake. He leaned forward, resting his chin in his palm as he watched Jake sip the coffee. “ What I think, hyung, is that you’re finally starting to like me. ”
Jake glanced up, his expression deadpan but a little amused. “ I’m starting to tolerate you. There’s a difference. ”
Ni-ki smirked, leaning back in his chair with a cocky shrug. “ Sure, Detective Sim. Whatever helps you sleep at night. ”
Jake found himself staring at the photo, debating whether to grace his partner with a reply. It wasn’t something he’d do unprompted usually, but as he scrolled through their previous conversations, he found himself typing.
You 00:14
What do you usually order for dinner?
The reply came almost instantly.
Ni-ki (Annoying) 00:14
hyung, are you asking me out? because yes. the answer is yes.
You 00:15
It’s a question, not a proposal
Ni-ki (Annoying) 00:16
still yes
thai food, why?
Jake hesitated for a moment before typing his next response. He felt bad for leading the kid on, and yet.
You 00:18
Because I owe you dinner for covering my report last Thursday. Let’s grab something after work tomorrow
The three dots indicating Ni-ki was typing blinked on the screen for a solid minute, disappearing and reappearing before the texts finally came through.
Ni-ki (Annoying) 00:20
wait are you being fr?
or are you messing with me
cause if youre serious i might actually cry deadass
Jake shook his head, a small, reluctant smile pulling at his lips.
You 00:21
Just don’t make a scene, Nishimura-san
The reply was immediate and predictably dramatic.
Ni-ki (Annoying) 00:21
literally no promises hyung
***
The cafe was a cozy, well-worn relic of the neighborhood, tucked between a small struggling bookstore and a cheap laundromat. Its faded green awning sagged slightly from years of rain seasons and dry snows, and the paint on the doorframe was chipped in places from old age and powerwash, revealing layers of wood underneath. Despite the shabby exterior, the inside always radiated warmth, smelling of freshly brewed coffee and faintly of cinnamon, a scent that mingled comfortably with the muted hum of conversation and soft jazz playing from a speaker in the corner.
They always gravitated toward the same booth in the far corner by the window at all stages of their relationship, it was secluded enough to avoid unwanted eyes but still offered a partial view of the street outside. Jake liked that — it made him feel tethered to reality, the slow tempo of people passing by the window and the whirring of the coffee machines enough to pretend that the fuzzy reflection of himself and Heeseung he saw in the glass was that of sweet lovers.
Heeseung dressed more casually today like he always did when they went to this particular cafe. He wore his favorite oversized plaid flannel that looked older than time and chunky, black-rimmed glasses, his hair in its usual cute mess, the whole look so youthful and awkward it made Jake reminisce of the time when he and Heeseung just met, two regular strangers bumping into each other by chance. Heeseung’s shy smile was so beautiful that Jake couldn’t fully blame himself for not having the guts to look away even after all this time.
The cafe owner, a cheerful woman in her late sixties with silver-streaked hair tied in a loose bun, approached their table with a warm smile, balancing two mugs of their usual drinks that they didn’t even have to order at this point on a small tray. She set them down with practiced ease, her movements careful but unhurried, a cup of caramel macchiato with cinnamon and a plain cappuccino with no sugar.
“You two are such a lovely couple,” she said this time with a bright, too-wide smile that deepened her wrinkles but made her face look impossibly kind. “Seeing you here always brightens my day.”
Jake’s heart pang with a phantom, hollow ache at the words, his lips automatically curving into a polite, habitual smile of his own that he hoped looked natural, but the tightness in his chest didn’t relent. Heeseung, on the other hand, chuckled softly, his voice smooth and melodic as he looked at her with genuine endearment in his eyes, his whole face shining with sincere appreciation that at first glance seemed to soak his very being and always drew people in.
“Thank you, halmeoni,” Heeseung replied earnestly with a bow, tilting his head slightly as if the compliment made him giddy. His gaze flicked to Jake, lingering just long enough to almost fool him, too. “It’s so nice to feel welcome.”
The owner beamed and cooed at them before bustling off to attend to other customers, leaving Jake to stir his coffee absently, the clink of the spoon against the ceramic mug the only sound between them for a moment. Heeseung was watching him, of course, Jake didn’t have to look up to know, but his prolonged pause was weirdly unfamiliar.
“You’ve been acting funny lately,” Heeseung said finally, his tone light, almost teasing but Jake couldn’t place if it sounded more pleased or speculative. “More than usual, I mean. Something happen at work?”
Jake looked at him then, taking a sip of his cappuccino. It was rich and bitter, the warmth spreading through him instantly, the taste nostalgic enough to throw a part of his mind in a time when things with Heeseung had been easier. “I guess you could say something like that.”
Heeseung leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table as he regarded Jake with a mix of curiosity and amusement. His tongue briefly poked his cheek, giving him an air of mirthful innocence and sweetness. “You really are terrible at relaxing, Jaeyun-ah. Has anyone ever told you that?”
Jake’s jaw tightened as Heeseung slowly slid his hand towards his and interlaced their fingers together, their tans complimenting each other prettily, but he forced himself to keep holding Heeseung’s gaze with a smile despite comfort being the last thing he actually felt. He caught the owner looking at them dreamily and wondered if they really did look good together, a sudden brief surge of sadness stinging him. “I didn’t realize this was a relaxation seminar.”
Heeseung laughed, a soft, breathy sound that somehow felt out of place. “It’s not,” he said, his lips quirking into a faint smile. “But maybe it should be. You’re wound so tight all the time around me, if you keep this up, you’ll give yourself a heart attack before pension for sure.”
Jake snorted, more out of habit than amusement. “Thanks for the honesty, hyung.”
Their conversation carried on mundanely after that, Heeseung’s words flowing easily, effortlessly filling the spaces Jake left empty. It really wasn’t all that different from all the times they played at that before — Heeseung talked, Jake deflected, and somehow, it still felt like Heeseung was winning, his every word chipping away at Jake’s carefully constructed walls, a mixture of fear, confusion, hate, and helpless, bittersweet attachment.
Then, Jake made a mistake.
At some point he reached for his phone absentmindedly, checking recent notifications as he placed it on the table beside his coffee cup. He glanced at one of the messages, his lips twitching into the smallest of smiles before he could stop himself.
Ni-ki (Annoying) 14:32
guess who finally fixed his car
Jake’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard for a moment, considering a reply, but before he could type anything, Heeseung’s voice cut through the moment like a blade.
“Who’s that?”
Jake bit his lip to suppress the fondness on his face, opening his mouth to respond mechanically. “Ni—”
He froze mid-sentence, his focus suddenly zeroing in on the person before him, his breath hitching as he looked up to find Heeseung watching him intently. The question had been casual enough, but there was something in the way Heeseung’s eyes glinted, sharp and calculating, that made Jake’s blood run cold with dread.
“Just a coworker,” Jake said carefully and slowly, too slowly, putting his phone away. He hated the way his voice wavered, hated the way Heeseung’s gaze seemed to pierce right through him and pick up on his fumble.
“A coworker,” Heeseung echoed, his tone still light but laced with something else that Jake recognized too well. “You seemed... happy. Must be a good coworker.”
Jake swallowed hard, his mind scrambling for a response. “He’s— he’s a rookie. We got assigned on a case together so I’m mentoring him. It’s really nothing, hyung. Do you want a dessert?”
The flicker in Heeseung’s eyes was subtle, a brief flash of something Jake couldn’t quite name before it vanished, replaced by the same warm, disarming smile Heeseung always wore that made Jake melt and burn all at the same time. He ignored his question.
“Well,” Heeseung said, his voice as smooth as ever, “I’m glad you have someone to keep things interesting at work,” he glanced at his watch, his expression shifting to one of mild surprise. “Speaking of work, I just remembered I need to head home early today. Something came up.”
Jake’s heart sank, the unease in his chest coiling tighter. Heeseung stood, smoothing out the front of his shirt with practiced grace before picking up his coat and moving closer to give Jake a soft kiss on his forehead, the hand on the top of his head weighing heavier than the sky despite the tenderness.
“Sorry for the suddenness. Thanks for the coffee, Jaeyunie,” he said, his face and tone as sweet as ever, but it wasn’t reflected in his eyes. “I’ll see you soon.”
Jake nodded numbly, watching as Heeseung turned and made his way to the door, the bell above it chiming softly yet sounding like a falling guillotine blade as he left. For a moment, Jake just sat there, staring at his half-empty coffee cup, his mind racing. He knew Heeseung too well to believe in coincidences or mishaps in schedule planning — the hollow smile, the sudden departure — it all felt too much like a warning and Jake wasn’t dense. He’s been careless. Ni-ki didn’t deserve to be dragged into this, didn’t deserve to be caught in the crossfire of Jake’s clear stupidity, and yet.
That night he turned around in his sheets restlessly, the quiet suffocating Jake with the weight of his own thoughts. He lay on his back, staring at the darkened ceiling of his apartment, the faint hum of the refrigerator in the next room being the only sound breaking the silence. Every time he closed his eyes, Heeseung’s face loomed behind his eyelids — pretty, bright, so perfect it was fucked up, and then he imagined him with Ni-ki, and the sight was…
Jake’s phone buzzed on the nightstand, jolting him from his thoughts with a start. He turned his head, glaring at the device as if it had personally offended him, reluctant to open it no matter who the sender was. The screen illuminated with a notification and he tiredly squinted at it, seeing a late-night meme from Ni-ki, something absurd, probably, something the kid thought might make Jake laugh or at least roll his eyes. Jake didn’t open it. Instead, he reached over, flipped the phone face-down, and closed his eyes, continuing to fruitlessly will himself into sleep.
The next morning the office was buzzing with sleepy, early-hours energy when Jake arrived, completely worn out, the scent of burnt coffee hanging thick and familiar in the air. He pushed open the door to the bullpen and made his way to his desk, his shoulders hunched and his eyes bleary from the sleepless night as he set down his coffee mug with a soft clink, lowering himself into his chair with the weariness of a man carrying the world’s weight on his back.
“Morning, hyung!” Ni-ki’s voice rang out, as bright and painfully cheerful as always. He spun around in a seat across from Jake’s desk, an apple in one hand and a cup of what Jake assumed was once again mostly milk and sugar masquerading as the big boy beverage in the other. “You look like you didn’t sleep at all. Rough night?”
Jake didn’t look up. “Insomnia,” he muttered, opening a case file and pretending to immerse himself in its contents, hoping his partner would take a hint that he wasn’t in the mood for his yapping today.
Luck wasn’t on his side today as Ni-ki frowned. “You sure you’re okay? You’ve been—”
“Get back to work,” Jake cut him off roughly, his tone snappy and irritated. He ignored the way Ni-ki’s expression flickered with surprise, the frown deepening for a moment before he subparly masked it with practiced nonchalance.
“Alright, alright,” Ni-ki said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Don’t bite my head off, hyung. I’m just asking.”
Jake didn’t respond, his gaze fixed firmly on the file in front of him. He heard Ni-ki mutter something under his breath as he leaned back in his chair, and the sound made him feel somewhat apologetic, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it.
It was a little less than a week later when the door to their office creaked open and the chief walked in, carrying somber news. Jake didn’t raise his head at first, too focused on the paperwork scattered across his desk, but the rough manner in which the chief cleared his throat drew his attention, and when Jake finally looked up, his blood ran cold. Heeseung has been quiet these days.
The chief glanced between Jake and Ni-ki, his gaze lingering on the latter for just a moment too long before he spoke.
“Victim was found this morning, I want you two on it. Keep me updated.”
Jake’s stomach churned with denial as he opened the file, his hands shaking just enough to make the pages rustle as he flipped through them. He glanced at Ni-ki just to make sure he was still there, paranoid thoughts engulfing him whole and he breathed a silent sigh of relief. When he forced his attention on the files, the victim’s photo stared back at him. Dark hair. High nose bridge. Full lips. The sight was exactly what he expected and what he was used to seeing every time, the killer’s signature touch in every detail, but it was the name beneath the photo that made Jake’s heart stop.
The victim was Japanese.
Jake felt the color drain from his face, his vision tunneling as the implications crashed over him like a tsunami. Could it be a coincidence? Surely not, not when it was him . Heeseung didn’t make mistakes.
“Hyung?” Ni-ki’s voice was soft, cautious, and very far away. Jake looked up to find his partner watching him intently, concern etched across his face. Ni-ki was nothing like him, right? As he looked over his features frantically Jake grounded himself in the thought that Ni-ki was way too tall. His skin was so much paler too, wasn’t it? There was simply no way. “What’s wrong?”
Jake shook his head, forcing himself to breathe, to think. “Nothing,” he said, his voice suddenly hoarse. “Just an upset stomach.”
Ni-ki’s brow furrowed as he leaned closer, his gaze flicking between Jake and the file, his next words slow and uncertain. “I mean, if you say so. Is something wrong with the case?”
Jake jerked his head to the side nervously, closing the file and setting it aside before Ni-ki could look any closer, for his sake or the kid’s he wasn’t even sure. “Maybe. We’ll figure it out.”
Ni-ki’s eyes were heavy like he knew.
The following week Jake had avoided Ni-ki along with his texts with a persistence that bordered on self-inflicted cruelty. His partner’s chirpy demeanor and relentless optimism had become unbearable — not because it was annoying, but because it was dangerous to him, to Ni-ki himself, and to the fragile equilibrium Jake had so painstakingly maintained with Heeseung that was clearly showing cracks.
Despite his efforts, Ni-ki seemed either completely ignorant or foolishly unshakable, making it a point to be a constant presence in Jake’s periphery. Every time Jake turned a corner, Ni-ki was already there, carrying two mismatched coffee cups or tossing a sarcastic comment over his shoulder, and every time Jake brushed him off, Ni-ki’s frown deepened, his carefree pretense slipping just a little more before hardening back into a weird kind of persistence. Jake pretended he didn’t notice the growing frustration on his face.
The silence from Heeseung didn’t help. They hadn’t really texted ever since their last outing to the cafe and it was concerning at best and outright creepy at most. Jake had tried reaching out once, a hesitant Are you alive? in the middle of a sleepless night, but it had been left on read. Now, even the lack of contact that Jake would have killed for a month ago felt like torture.
Jake remembers it being a Thursday when the cycle broke.
In this brewing misery, he has been dancing around this slump routine for days until Ni-ki suddenly made it his life goal to get him out, clearly fed up with Jake’s bullshit and adamant about breaking him in in his typical, unapologetic fashion.
“You’re coming with me,” he had declared that evening, his voice leaving no room for argument as he grabbed Jake’s arm and dragged him out of the station after their shift, masterfully ignoring all of the verbal protests and curses Jake was throwing his way while weakly tugging at the iron grip his partner had on him.
At some point, Jake just gave up and let it happen. He was a weak man. Jake was too tired to fight anyway, and a small part of him, the part that still craved normalcy, couldn’t help but be swayed by Ni-ki’s awkward, misplaced stubbornness. Maybe it will be okay. Mentally, he reasoned that there was nothing abnormal about two coworkers hanging out every once in a while even if it did little to satiate even his own mental image of Heeseung.
The diner was a quaint, retro affair with checkered floors and red vinyl booths, clearly designed to be reminiscent of America in its 50s and smelled like grease and coffee and maple syrup, a sensory overload that was somehow still kind of comforting. Ni-ki led Jake to a table by the window, dropping into the seat across from him with a grin that was just a touch too bright, giving away the irritation mixed with triumph that the kid felt at succeeding at his mission of getting his hyung to acknowledge his existence.
“You’re going to love this place,” Ni-ki promised, flagging down a waitress and ordering for both of them before Jake could as much as open his mouth.
Jake raised an eyebrow at the audacity. “You sure you don’t want to check my dietary restrictions first?”
Ni-ki shrugged, smirking. “You look like a burger and fries kind of guy. Besides, I’ve seen you demolish like three ramens during lunch break last week all by yourself so I doubt those exist at all.”
Jake huffed a quiet laugh at that, leaning back in the booth as he watched Ni-ki with a mixture of exasperation and reluctant fondness that he had been trying to suppress. The kid had a way of getting under his skin, but there was something disarming about his confidence, his refusal to let Jake wallow in his own misery. It was kinda touching.
When the food arrived, Jake found himself relaxing at last. The fries were crispy, the burger perfectly greasy, and the milkshake Ni-ki had insisted on ordering for him was surprisingly good despite clearly fitting the other man’s taste better. For the first time in what felt like weeks, Jake allowed himself to enjoy the moment, laughing at Ni-ki’s exaggerated impressions of their coworkers and tossing a fry at him when he got too carried away, catching himself on the thought that he missed his company.
“See?” Ni-ki said triumphantly, intercepting the fry and popping it into his mouth in a manner that was more attractive than necessary. “You’re human after all, hyung.”
Jake rolled his eyes, but the smile hadn’t left his face once in the past twenty minutes. “Don’t let it go to your head.”
“I think it already did.”
They were in the middle of a particularly absurd story about one of Ni-ki’s academy instructors when his partner suddenly cut himself off, eyes locking onto something behind Jake in confusion before Jake felt hands cover his eyes from behind, the suddenness of the gesture sending a jolt of adrenaline through his system.
“Guess who,” a familiar voice murmured, light and smooth.
Jake’s stomach dropped, the dread coiling in his gut like a live wire. He didn’t need to guess that, but he did question his mind if he went insane and got stuck in some particularly realistic nightmare.
“Hyung,” Jake said, his voice breathy and strained.
The hands moved away, and when Jake turned, Heeseung was standing there, all smiles and easy confidence, looking extremely out of place with his polished work appearance starkly contrasting the casual atmosphere. He didn’t seem to care. The diner’s once-warm atmosphere suddenly felt oppressive, and Jake’s pulse thundered in his ears as he cast a quick glance at Ni-ki, silently pleading for him to tread carefully.
“Jaeyunie,” Heeseung said warmly, sliding into the seat beside Jake as if he belonged there. His gaze flicked to Ni-ki, his kind smile never wavering and only growing wider. “And you must be the rookie detective I’ve heard so much about. Nishimura-ssi, was it? Jake’s been telling me all about his new partner.”
Ni-ki blinked, clearly taken aback by Heeseung’s sudden familiarity. He glanced at Jake briefly, his dark eyes narrowing in fleeting suspicion, but Jake couldn’t bring himself to say a word.
“That’s me,” Ni-ki said after a moment, his tone polite but cautious. “And you are...?”
Heeseung’s beamed, his eyes crinkling at the corners in a way that was perfect and intimately familiar. There he goes. “Just a friend,” he chuckled smoothly, the sound melodic and unassuming as he placed a hand on Jake’s shoulder and extended the other one to the man. “Jake and I go way back. My name is Heeseung but feel free to just call me hyung.”
Ni-ki nodded slowly, his gaze flicking between Heeseung and Jake with a subtle intensity, calculating. Heeseung’s hand squeezed his shoulder once and Jake straightened his back. “Right. Nice to meet you.”
He shook Heeseung’s hand.
It finally snapped Jake out of his daze as he pulled a practiced smile of his own onto his face, looking at Ni-ki apologetically as he forced a chuckle. “I didn’t expect to see you today, hyung,” he said cheerfully, directing his body language to look natural as he gave Heeseung a short half-hug. Ni-ki looked at them a moment longer before he seemed to make some sort of conclusion for himself, some of the tension leaving his frame and Jake sighed in relief, focusing back on Heeseung’s face. They knew each other well enough to have this conversation without words. “What brings you here?”
“I was just passing by, really, and then I saw a familiar face in the window,” he answered good-naturedly as if it wasn’t a load of shit. “It’s been a while so I thought I should drop by to say hi. Anyways,” Heeseung said, his tone light as he suddenly turned his attention to Ni-ki, taking both of them aback. “How’s Jake treating you? He can be a bit grumpy, can’t he? Hope he doesn’t bore you too much.”
Ni-ki blinked, clearly caught off guard by the sudden attention. “Uh, yeah, I guess. But he’s pretty fun if you stick around him long enough.”
Heeseung giggled genuinely, drawing the first real chuckle out of Ni-ki, his hand dropping to rest on Jake’s knee under the table instead. “That sounds about right. He’s always been like that, this guy, so serious on the outside but secretly a softie.”
Jake’s jaw tightened, his gaze fixed firmly on the table. Ni-ki was smiling, clearly more relaxed by Heeseung’s easy banter but Jake could still feel his eyes on him, a flicker of confusion and wondering curiosity in his expression as if he was trying to piece together the dynamic between them. The conversation at the table was easy and friendly with Heeseung quickly finding his way around Ni-ki’s wariness like he always did, and Jake did his best to laugh along and pop in with small comments, even as he wished that they would just drop the act and have a talk without the involvement of clearly clueless, innocent kids.
“By the way,” Heeseung said suddenly, his eyes crinkling at the corners and his tone taking on a teasing lilt. His eyes darted to Ni-ki’s hair, and his smile took on a barely noticeable edge. “I like your hair, Riki-ya. It’s so dark and shiny, reminds me so much of Jake’s. I wish mine was this healthy, you guys really lucked out.”
Jake’s heart stopped. The compliment was delivered with an air of innocence, but Jake’s vision did a complete three-sixty, his breath hitching as he caught the veiled threat buried in Heeseung’s praise. He forced himself to breathe, his fingers tightening around his empty milkshake cup as he prayed Ni-ki wouldn’t read into it.
Ni-ki, for his part, seemed taken aback but not alarmed. He offered a small, polite smile as he tilted his head, looking a little puzzled. “Thanks, I guess? I don’t think it’s that good, though,” he seemed to think for a second. “But even then, mine’s clearly better,” he said finally, shooting Jake a sidelong glance that was both wondering and quietly amused like he was gauging his senior’s reaction.
Jake faked a snort, the effort almost painful. “Not really,” he muttered weakly, his voice strained and the retort coming a tone too flat.
Heeseung’s gaze lingered on Jake’s tense frame for a moment longer before he reached into the bag he’d brought with him and before Jake could think of a way to steer the conversation elsewhere, he pulled out a small, neatly packaged dessert. Jake’s stomach twisted with worried confusion as he recognized the dessert. It was a slice of his favorite cake.
“I was going to have this later,” Heeseung said easily, placing the cake on the table. His smile turned almost pristinely boyish as he slid it toward Ni-ki. “But since we’re all here anyway, why don’t you try it, Riki-ya? It’s Jake’s favorite, so I’m curious if you’ll like it too.”
Jake’s throat went dry, panic flaring in his chest. Heeseung’s eyes glinted with something heavy and expectant as he looked at Ni-ki, the pleasant facade slipping just enough for Jake to see the predator lurking beneath. Was Heeseung..?
Oh no.
“Would be so funny if you took after your hyung even here.”
Ni-ki hesitated, his gaze flicking between the offered treat, Heeseung, and back to Jake as if searching for some kind of cue. Jake couldn’t do much of anything except hold his breath, willing Ni-ki to refuse, paralyzed by the sudden onslaught of pure, unfiltered horror that he wasn’t sure hid itself well on his face.
Fortunately, Ni-ki seemed pretty good at reading him.
“Uh, thank you so much, hyung, but I’m not really into chocolate that much,” Ni-ki said finally, offering a sheepish smile. “I don’t stomach it well.”
Thank fucking god.
Jake exhaled shakily, not caring about how obvious it seemed, his relief so overwhelming it left him lightheaded. Heeseung’s smile didn’t waver, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes — annoyance, maybe even frustration — before he shrugged lightly, the shadow of disappointment gone as fast as it appeared, drowning in his regular warmth.
“Suit yourself,” he said ultimately, his voice still pleasant as he leaned back after Jake refused the offer as well. He picked up a fork, took a bite of the cake himself, and nibbled on the cutlery contentedly. “More for me, then.”
Jake tugged at his collar nervously, his mind racing as he tried to regain his composure enough to hide how his hands shook slightly. Heeseung’s attention then shifted back to him, his expression unreadable as he reached out to brush a crumb from Jake’s cheek, the act was intimate, almost tender and so, so familiar, but it felt progressively more like a noose tightening around Jake’s neck than anything sweet or lovely. He leaned into the touch anyway.
It wasn’t the gesture itself that unnerved him — Heeseung had always been skilled at blurring the lines between affection and whatever the hell this was — but it was the silent challenge in his eyes and the taunting subtext to his words, as though daring Jake to defy him. He couldn’t let this drag on any further, every second Heeseung stayed here, every smile he directed at the kid, every subtle comment felt like another step toward an inevitable disaster. Jake’s pulse thundered in his ears, his chest tight with a suffocating blend of unease and paranoia. He had to get Heeseung away from Ni-ki.
Without thinking, Jake stood abruptly, the legs of his chair scraping harshly against the floor, eliciting a wince from all three of them. The sudden movement drew both Heeseung’s and Ni-ki’s attention, the latter blinking in surprise while Heeseung’s expression shifted to one of mild curiosity, one eyebrow quirked up.
Jake grabbed Heeseung’s wrist impatiently, his grip firm but not rough, and met his gaze with an intensity that felt dangerously close to desperation. “Hyung, I just remembered,” he said suddenly, his voice light but insistent, the tremor in his tone barely masked with all the emotions crashing over him all at once. He leaned in slightly, their faces close enough that anyone watching might mistake the gesture for something else.
Heeseung’s eyes widened slightly, surprised, a flustered blush rapidly making its way to his ears. He really made no fucking sense sometimes. “Uh?” he said, the corners of his mouth curving into a shy, falsely clueless smile. “What’s this about, Jaeyunie?”
Jake forced a smile, doing his best to project confidence he didn’t feel into sudden faux enthusiasm. “It’s been so hard to catch you lately, but I have something I really need to discuss with you,” he said, laying it thick and looking at Heeseung intently. “Privately. Can’t think straight here. Let’s just go.”
Heeseung’s gaze flickered then like he knew, his smile widening into something almost giddy. “I mean if you insist,” he murmured, his tone soft but dripping with satisfaction. He picked up his bag, letting Jake keep hold on him as though he was a parent indulging a kid’s impulsive whim.
Ni-ki cleared his throat then, drawing both their attention back to him as if reminding them he was still here. “Hyung?” he said, his tone uncertain. His dark eyes darted between Jake and Heeseung, confusion and a flicker of something harder — hurt, maybe — clouding his expression. “What’s going on?”
Jake released Heeseung’s wrist and turned to Ni-ki, his stomach twisting at the look on the younger detective’s face. He knew he should offer an explanation, something that wouldn’t leave Ni-ki feeling discarded, but he couldn’t afford to linger. The harder he put Ni-ki down now, the better it was for him as every second Heeseung stayed in this diner felt like playing with fire, and Jake wasn’t willing to risk getting burned.
“Sorry, Ni-ki-ya,” Jake said hastily, his words tumbling out in a hushed rush. “Something came up. I’ll... I’ll explain later. Thank you for the dinner, I’ll pay you back tomorrow.”
Ni-ki’s frown deepened, his brows knitting together as he watched Jake with a mix of disappointment and concern. “Jake-hyung—”
“Later,” Jake interrupted, his voice cracking slightly under the weight of the moment. He winced internally at the flash of irritation that crossed Ni-ki’s face, but he couldn’t let himself dwell on it. He turned back to Heeseung, who was watching the exchange with thinly veiled amusement, and finally allowed himself the first frustrated frown. “We should get going.”
Heeseung gave Ni-ki a friendly goodbye wave and a small bow.
“It was very nice meeting you, Nishimura Riki-ya.”
The bell above the door chimed softly as they stepped into the cool night air, the noise sending a jolt of finality through Jake’s chest. He didn’t look back at Ni-ki.
They stumbled into Heeseung’s flat glued in a messy, heated kiss and bumping into every possible piece of furniture on their way to Heeseung’s bedroom. The hold Heeseung had on Jake’s waist was rough and insistent, the kind of grip that was strong enough to leave a splutter or dark bruises in a few hours, but Heeseung never really cared, and neither did Jake, pulling at Heeseung’s fancy dress tie just to keep him close, keep him breathless as he bit into his bottom lip meanly like he meant it.
Jake was gasping for air by the time his back met the soft silk of Heeseung’s bedsheets, ticklishly cool against his hot skin, the hands traveling up from his waist to undo the buttons of his shirt with an urgency of a starved man, all while Heeseung’s mouth left a soft trail of kisses on Jake’s jaw and further down his neck. Jake bit down on a breathy sigh as he felt lips brush against his pulse point, pausing to suck on the skin right above it until it was red and bruised, sending a spike of heat straight to his lower stomach. He supposed, bitterly, that Heeseung had plenty of time to study Jake’s body.
Brushing the thought off, he pulled Heeseung’s tie loose, tilting his head up by his chin to meet him in another harsh, greedy kiss, feeling a quiet snicker against his lips.
“You’re always so needy, Jaeyunie, slow down.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
Heeseung laughed, the sound full and deep and so unlike the soft chuckles he let out in front of other people just earlier this evening. It pissed Jake off and he was sure to let Heeseung know with the harsh drag of his fingers between the edges of his probably expensive shirt, sending a couple of buttons flying off and ruining it completely. The smile Jake gave him was bitter and petty and Heeseung welcomed it, shaking his head in mock exasperation as he tugged the now useless piece of fabric off his shoulders, Jake mirroring the motion after undoing the last few buttons of his own. He shuddered. Heeseung’s gaze tracked the flutter of his hands with an intensity that Jake could never get quite used to.
“Would you be a darling and stop staring? Get to work.”
Heeseung looked at him with both eyebrows raised at his snarky tone but said nothing, seemingly only intrigued by the change in attitude. Jake didn’t really know what got into him suddenly, his mood so sour after the events of the week that it clearly made him finally reach his boiling point, but he supposed that as long as it didn’t get him on Heeseung’s bad side, today it was okay.
He rose on his elbows slightly, looking up at the man daringly as the latter moved closer in between Jake’s parted legs, Heeseung’s touch feather-light on his ribs as his fingers slowly trailed down, leaving a sea of shivers in their wake, slow and deliberate. Heeseung’s free hand landed by the side of Jake’s head as he leaned down, caging him in completely. Jake’s eyes fluttered shut. He focused on the sensation of Heeseung’s touch, exhaling shakily as he felt him pull at the waistband of his pants.
Every nerve in Jake’s body was alight with tension, anticipation clashing with pure hate as the air between them grew progressively hotter. Jake’s dick twitched in his boxers when Heeseung cupped it with his palm through the fabric, pressing lightly until Jake was shivering and biting his lip. Teasing. Jake whined in a mix of need and frustration, knocking his knee against Heeseung’s ribs as the man pulled off his underwear, the cold air hitting the sensitive skin and eliciting a content sigh.
“Lube,” he commanded curtly.
Heeseung just giggled.
Carefully, almost tenderly, he brushed his fingers along Jake’s inner thigh, forcing his legs further apart, the other hand wrapping around the shaft and stroking lightly, feeling a subtle tremor all over Jake’s pliant body beneath his touch. “Bossy much,” he said eventually, his voice a low murmur as he leaned in closer. Jake could feel the heat radiating from Heeseung’s skin, his rich perfume enveloping the room in a secure, intoxicating cocoon as he let his mouth fall open in a soft moan, his head tilting back and exposing the vulnerable column of his neck. Heeseung’s bites hurt like hell and would definitely leave quite a sight for Jake and the rest of the world to witness tomorrow, but right now, every pang of pain seemed to go straight to his dick.
At a particularly mean scratch of teeth against his skin though, Jake let out a gasp, his hand snaking its way around Heeseung’s shoulders, gripping his hair harshly and forcing him back up just so he could crash their lips together once more, tasting iron on Heeseung’s tongue. The bottle clicked open. Heeseung was smiling.
Jake felt a hand squeeze the flesh of his ass before something tapped against his rim and he breathed heavily into the kiss, sensing Heeseung circle two fingers around his entrance, the lube cold against his scorching skin before he slowly, agonizingly pushed in.
Jake broke the kiss with a soft whimper, pulling Heeseung’s head to the side by his hair despite the man’s pained hiss, feeling two fingers move further in him, pushing at the walls and feeling around with careful, lazy precision. Right as Jake was about to complain about the lack of stimulation, Heeseung smirked, his gaze sweet and innocent as he curled his fingers, pressing right against the spot that made Jake’s back rigid as he let out a choked-up, broken moan and released the soft locks from his fist to grip at Heeseung’s shoulders instead.
“A-asshole,” he gritted out even as his dick gave a very obvious, traitorous twitch.
The thrust of Heeseung’s fingers was deliberate and methodical, purposely avoiding hitting Jake’s prostate except for a couple of times just to keep him on edge, keep him bothered. Jake missed the moment when he added a third, but his mind was already spinning, his cock hard and leaking against his stomach and he really wasn’t sure if all the pent-up stress of the week will let him last today.
“Go,” he breathed out, rolling his hips, eyelids fluttering at the wave of pleasure that coursed through his gut. “That’s enough.”
“You’re pushy today,” Heeseung remarked simply, pulling his fingers out obediently and leaning down to press a short kiss to the corner of Jake’s mouth before standing up. Jake wasted no time sitting up after him, fingers fiddling with the zipper of Heeseung’s dress pants, scraping his teeth briefly over the exposed hipbone. He felt fingers tangle in his hair encouragingly, almost patronizingly as Heeseung ruffled it, petting his head softly. The absurdity of it made Jake want to laugh. “Something on your mind?”
Jake resisted rolling his eyes while he pulled Heeseung’s pants and underwear down in one go, his cock springing free, fully erect. He was face first with his dick and Heeseung wanted to do couple counseling?
“Work,” he bit out bluntly, fisting the long shaft with a little more force than comfortable and giving it two half-dry strokes, softened only by the beads of precum and hearing Heeseung’s breath hitch above him. The hand in his hair tightened and he winced at the burn.
Heeseung looked at him for a moment, pondering, and then his smile widened, slow, knowing, and uncharacteristically mean. “Work, huh?” his thumb brushed over Jake’s cheek, a mockery of comfort. “Is that what you call him now?”
Jake froze, looking up at Heeseung, a deep frown finding itself on his face. He wasn’t sure what kind of grimace he was making, but it was clearly enough to break Heeseung’s sharp focus as his chuckle sounded light and genuine when he released his hair, patting him just once more like Jake was a dog. “You’re honestly so cute.”
The words finally snapped him out of it as he stood abruptly, glaring at Heeseung venomously and ignoring the few obvious inches the older man had on him, his hands settling on his hips firmly, maneuvering them around until he was pushing Heeseung into the mattress, the latter letting out a surprised oof at the suddenness but not resisting. Jake was terrified and tense but beneath that, he was pissed, his brain chemistry messed up enough to let the wild anger turn into an all-consuming need. He straddled Heeseung’s hips unceremoniously, legs on either side of his waist, pushing him further into the sheets by his shoulders. Jake could feel his hard-on press against him and he shifted his hips experimentally.
“Leave him out of this,” he hissed, feeling Heeseung’s warm palms caress his sides and lower back. He suppressed a full-body shiver. “Didn’t I tell you to shut up?”
Jake reached behind him, fingers wrapping around Heeseung’s dick as he rose slightly to align himself over the tip. Heeseung’s eyes were hazy with arousal, laser-focused on the scene before him, his hands anchoring themselves on Jake’s hips and his pink tongue escaping his mouth to wet his lips every few seconds, letting Jake play around and throw a tantrum as he pleased.
It made his head spin. Jake bit his bottom lip as he slowly lowered himself, feeling Heeseung’s cock press against his hole, sweet and fever hot. Toxic. He held eye contact, the air between them loaded, pouring every bit of want and hatred he felt into the silent exchange, legs shaking from the tension.
Heeseung rolled his hips slightly and that finally, finally pushed the head in. They both groaned.
And then Heeseung’s grip tightened and he snapped his hips up while simultaneously pulling Jake down, sheathing himself fully in one rough, sharp thrust with a smile that finally looked a little less fake and a little more anrgy. Jake was no virgin but the cry he let out was loud and vile .
“I think you’re confused, Jakey,” Heeseung rasped out, voice thick with restraint and arousal as he laughed shakily. “You don’t give commands here.”
Jake’s eyes widened.
Heeseung’s pace was brutal off the bat, giving Jake no time to adjust as he started bouncing him on his cock like a ragdoll, as if his weight was nothing, punching out loud, broken moans that were steadily rising in pitch as he made his insides burn with every thrust. Jake’s hands frantically scrambled to wrap around Heeseung’s wrists to get him to stop.
“W-wait— ah! ” Jake gasped out, his vision swimming at the sudden onslaught of sensations. “Heeseung-hyung, slow down, ugh— ”
Heeseung’s eyes were glued to the sight above him, zeroed in on the glistening trails of sweat on smooth, soft skin, red splotches of exhaustion on Jake’s neck and cheeks, and the elegant arch of his back, his waist tiny in his hold. The moans that spilled from his lips were desperate, honey-sweet and so pretty, Heeseung couldn’t resist the urge to drink them up, pulling the man down by his nape and kissing him sloppily, thrusting his tongue in between Jake’s parted lips, fucking him with the fervor of a wild animal.
His arm muscles eventually started to ache from the effort of manhandling Jake’s weight, even as he could feel Jake’s thighs tense as he met his every thrust in tandem with Heeseung’s ruthless tempo. Jake was gone. When the burn became too much, Heeseung eventually rolled them around, switching positions and hovering over Jake, who was blinking at him dazedly, disoriented from the sudden movement and adorably whiny. Heeseung grinned in sudden endearment when he felt ankles lock behind his lower back subconsciously, fingers brushing against his chest in a directionless daze, the younger man’s face a blend of fucked-out bliss and pent-up frustration. He really was all snark no bite.
When Heeseung pressed his hips against his ass again the first time, Jake thought he might cry as the change in the angle made Heeseung’s dick press directly against the sensitive bundle of nerves inside him and Jake did actually cry on the fifth thrust, tears spilling freely before he could blink them away as Heeseung nailed his prostate with every harsh snap of his hips.
“Beautiful,” Heeseung’s voice reached him amidst the array of obscene moans and heavy pants, skin slapping against skin. “So pretty when you cry. So perfect. Mine. ”
Jake hated how much his body reacted to the words, his hole clenching around the girth as he reached up to sink his teeth into Heeseung’s collarbone if only to stop the embarrassing symphony of pathetic, needy sounds that got punched out of him and burned his ears with shame. He hoped it broke skin. Jake was so close, the pressure building up in his belly with every second, blazing hot and intoxicating as he reached for his cock, desperate for release that was almost, almost—
Heeseung stilted his movement suddenly, intercepting his hand, grabbing both of his wrists with a hand of his own, and pinning them above his head. Jake was ready to scream as Heeseung’s frantic, bruising pace dissipated into torturously slow, unhurried thrusts that felt like too much and nothing at all at the same time.
“Fuck— Why did you—” Jake stuttered, his brain too much of a mush to form coherent sentences or even be embarrassed. “Move.”
Heeseung gave him an unreadable stare.
“You know, when I first saw you I would’ve never imagined you’d be such a whore.”
He punctuated the sentence with a harsh push of his hips that had Jake slide up the bed slightly and his teeth break his own lip as he sucked in a deep breath. Oh god.
“Does he get to see you like that too?” snap. “He’s pretty cute, should we invite him over?”
Jake was going to fucking die.
“You’ve got— ngh— you’ve got it all wrong.”
“Did I? It certainly didn’t look like I did.”
His leg kicked at the soft bedding in agitation, eyes shut hard enough for colorful spots to start swimming behind his eyelids. He was so painfully hard it was getting unbearable.
“Does he treat you well?”
Heeseung was the worst.
“Does he fuck you good?”
“Stop,” Jake pleaded at last, finally meeting his big, dark eyes, hoping Heeseung would be able to pick up on the desperate sincerity in his own, tears making his vision uncomfortably hazy. “You know damn well that it has always only been…”
Jake shut his mouth. Heeseung halted completely, sweat soaking his fringe and making it stick to his forehead, heavy pants heating up the air between them until it felt almost too hot. They’ve been tangled in this mess for months but each time felt like the first and Jake internally laughed at the speculation that the only thing changing seemingly was Heeseung’s hair color. It always looked equally stunning anyway. Heeseung’s chest was heaving, his lean, toned arms tense and his mouth slightly open from his labored breath, the dull lighting of the room bouncing off his sharp angles and glowy honey skin, yet drowning in his black, endlessly deep irises like he was a saint — Jake’s very own god and executioner in mortal flesh.
His heart cracked a little with the unfairness of the thought.
“Only been what?” Heeseung asked after a pause, his gaze heavy and expression somewhat vulnerable yet blank, devoid of its usual faux sweetness. He looked a little broken. The real Heeseung.
So, so unfair.
Jake looked away.
“It has always only been you,” he finished quietly, the words reluctant and bitter in his mouth.
Jake didn’t see Heeseung’s face when his admission broke the tension, but the pressure around his wrists disappeared and he was pulled into another kiss, this one less rushed, less hungry, and so much more tender, yet it stabbed into his heart and bled it dry with tenfold cruelty, dangerously close to shattering it into a thousand uneven fragments. Heeseung picked the pace back up, his fingers a firm presence on his hips as Jake arched his back into him, gasping and moaning Heeseung’s name, crying, cursing, begging like a sinner until he was coming with a shout, feeling Heeseung spill in him just moments later, tainting and ruining him inside out. Dirty. Wrong. Humiliatingly good.
In the hazy aftermath of his orgasm, Jake felt lips press into his temple, a hand pulling his back flush against a sturdy chest so gently, carefully like he was world’s most cherished treasure and it made him want to cry a little more. Tired, he leaned into the familiar, thorny warmth of Heeseung, pretending not to see how it killed him slowly.
After all, Jake had no one to blame for this but himself.
***
The rain drummed softly against the roof of the car, a rhythmic hum that was constant this season and seemed almost synchronized with Jake's uneven breathing. Ni-ki was looking at the road ahead, his reflection blurred and ghostly against the dark glass, displaying a tiredness that Jake didn’t recall seeing there the first week of their partnership. It’s been a few days after the whole diner incident and Jake would say they were partially back to normal, but the talk they never had and the things they never addressed hung heavy in the air between them, pressing down on both and it showed. Things were hard and even if he didn’t ask, Jake was well aware of the painful confusion Ni-ki felt. Nevertheless, when he turned briefly to shoot Jake a glance, his lips quirked into a faint smirk, eyes shining like they always did even if Jake caught slight, uncharacteristic tightness in it, the way his fingers played absently with a simple, silver ring he wore betraying his unease.
“You’re quiet these days,” Ni-ki prompted to say, his voice light but testing, glancing Jake's way evenly.
“I’ve been quiet every day, Ni-ki-san,” Jake replied, huffing a short chuckle and shooting his partner a questioning look despite having his suspicions about where he was going with this.
Ni-ki smiled softly anyway, even if it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He started pulling over and Jake cursed mentally at the sense of familiar dread.
“I think you know what I mean, Jake-hyung.”
Jake's jaw tightened. He really was too tired for this today. “I’m fine.”
A beat passed. Ni-ki didn’t look at him for a while, the silence of his car a little too pressing as he held his hands on the wheel, knuckles white. It took a minute but his shoulders relaxed at last, voice not accusatory but tired as he said, “You don’t have to pretend, you know.”
Jake swallowed hard, the words hitting him like a sucker punch. He turned his gaze to the windshield, watching the rivulets of water streaking down the glass, merging and splitting in chaotic patterns that matched his racing thoughts. It would be so easy, a voice urged in the back of his mind. Jake’s eyes flickered back to Ni-ki, drawn time and time again to the expectant warmth there, but it wasn’t just the way Ni-ki looked at him, it was the way his body angled slightly toward him, the way his hands had eventually dropped the wheel and stilled in his lap as if he were bracing for something that made Jake’s mind spin with a dilemma. The moment felt fragile, too charged with something he wasn’t ready to confront.
Jake knew what Ni-ki was waiting for. He saw the way Ni-ki’s teasing words softened around the edges when they were alone, how his playful jabs carried a tentative undercurrent as if testing waters to see if Jake would let him get close, let him ask. At this moment, Ni-ki’s wide, honest eyes seemed to simply beg him to just say something real for once.
Jake couldn’t.
Instead, he reached over and tugged at Ni-ki’s hair, deliberately tangling the carefully styled strands and ruining the effortless vibe his partner was going for, opting for the easiest escape he saw. It was enough to deflect the attention and draw an indignant yelp from the younger man, a puff of noise so ridiculous Jake almost laughed. Almost.
Ni-ki squawked in protest, swatting at Jake’s hand as his face turned into a scowl, momentarily distracted. “Yah, hyung! Do you know how long it takes to get my hair to look this good? What the fuck,” but his tone had no bite to it, a blush dusting his skin way too obviously, and Jake finally chuckled softly in response, breaking the tension. It was cute and sweet and innocent, sending a pang of guilt through him as he wondered if all those months ago, he looked the same to Heeseung — painfully, obliviously naive — if Heeseung felt nostalgic meeting Ni-ki, but brushed the idea off fairly quickly.
The thought that lingered, however, was the humorless speculation of how if not that, one thing they definitely did have in common was a horrible taste in men. Jake was nothing if not a fucking coward.
“You know,” he began, his tone easy, casual, masking the impending heartbreak brewing in his chest. The words tasted like gasoline on his tongue as he said, “I think you should go blond.”
It was awkwardly blunt. He wondered if Ni-ki was sharp enough to pay attention to Heeseung’s words back in that damned diner.
But Ni-ki blinked at him, momentarily thrown off course, confusion painting itself clear on his face. That worked too. “Huh? I should?” he echoed, his voice pitched with doubt and disbelief.
“Yeah,” Jake said, leaning back in his seat and flashing a grin that he knew looked charming but felt too wide, too tasteless with a flirtatious wiggle of eyebrows that made him hate himself. “I think it’d suit you. Give you that edgy, hot look, you know? Totally my type.”
The words left his mouth too easily, sliding out with a teasing suggestiveness that felt deliberate but detached, like an actor reading from a script as he squeezed Ni-ki’s shoulder a couple of times to accentuate his point. Despite the guilty artificiality of it all, Jake didn’t miss the way Ni-ki’s expression shifted, the faint widening of his eyes, the comical drop of his jaw, the way his ears flushed an unmistakable, vibrant red as he ducked his head quickly, his gaze darting out the window, unaware of how the matching red of the back of his neck left nothing hidden anyway.
“Geez, hyung,” Ni-ki mumbled, his voice stiff but carrying an edge of incredulity and nervousness. He reached up to rub the back of his head, a mechanical, comforting gesture Jake had seen countless times, his fingers brushing through his now-disheveled hair with a new kind of wonder. “You’re so confusing.”
Ni-ki fidgeted in his seat, his usual bravado dimmed in the low glow of the car’s interior. Jake didn’t know what else to say, but a part of him was soothed and kind of touched by the sliver of hope shining through the upturned corners of Ni-ki’s lips and he supposed for now it was enough. Ni-ki resumed their drive. The rain had eased to a misty drizzle, casting hazy reflections of neon signs on the wet pavement ahead, blurring their vision along with Jake’s endless worries.
He reached for the volume knob on the radio and turned it up, letting the faint strains of an old jazz song fill the space, humming along subconsciously, recognizing it as one of the songs that played in Heeseung’s car often.
“So blond, huh?” Ni-ki asked after a long, peaceful pause, his voice tentative but laced with an interest that Jake immediately saw through. He forced down a fond snicker even as his heart ached.
“Yeah. It’s a good look.”
Ni-ki scoffed lightly, his lips quirking into a shy, reluctant smile. “You’re full of it, hyung.”
The car slowed to a stop outside Jake’s building. For a long moment, neither of them moved, the soft hum of the engine filling the silence and Ni-ki’s fingers tapped absently against the wheel, the look in his eyes far away as if he was lost deep in conflicting thoughts. Jake didn’t rush him.
“Jake?” Ni-ki’s voice broke through his reverie, soft and hesitant.
He turned to him, eyes scanning the vulnerable tilt of Ni-ki’s head, the way his brows furrowed ever so slightly before he spoke. “Yeah?”
Ni-ki stalled, a painful kind of hesitation painting itself in his entire body language, as if he was trying to convince himself that the conclusions he was coming to weren’t real, desperate for reassurance. “You… You’d tell me, right? If there was something... I don’t know, something I should know?”
Ni–ki was a smart kid.
Jake smiled.
“Of course, Riki-ya. Promise.”
They both knew he was lying.
Ni-ki’s gaze lingered on him for a beat too long, as if waiting for Jake to continue, before he nodded, his lips pressing into a thin line and shoulders slumping in defeat. His eyes were sad. “Okay,” he said softly, finally unlocking the doors. “Goodnight, Jake-hyung.”
It almost broke his heart to see time and time again just how foolishly soft Ni-ki was.
Jake’s legs felt like lead as he climbed the stairs to his apartment, his mind full of cottony nothing and heart empty. The key turned in the lock with a faint click, and he pushed the door open, stepping into the blank, familiar warmth of his apartment trying not to think at all, if only for a minute.
His breath was even as his eyes landed on the couch, well aware of what sight would meet him. Heeseung’s tall frame sprawled carelessly over the soft cushions, his long limbs folding awkwardly to accommodate for the furniture’s smaller size, his face tilted to the side, mouth slightly parted in the vulnerability of sleep as his lashes cast soft shadows on his round cheeks, his hair a messy halo that framed his delicate features. He was well aware of what sight would meet him, but it still was so heartbreakingly tender it stopped Jake in his tracks anyway.
The rich, savory aroma of kimchi rice drifted from the kitchen. Jake’s eyes flitted to the stove, where a steaming pot of freshly cooked dinner sat waiting, two plates set neatly on the small table, a pair of chopsticks rested beside each, the picture completed by a pair of old, mismatched, tea-stained mugs. The papers scattered across the coffee table back in the living room — Heeseung’s work documents mixed with his own case reports — contrasted starkly against each other, a neat, chaotic handwriting peeking through the hurdles of Jake’s pristinely organized files. Somewhere in the bathroom cabinet, there was a familiar red toothbrush that wasn’t his.
Heeseung shifted slightly on the couch, his brow furrowing for the briefest moment before his face smoothed into serene stillness once more, soft cheek squished against the pillow childishly. Pretty, so, so pretty. Jake’s heart twisted painfully, he couldn’t look away. How could someone so horrible look so soft? So real? Heeseung was beautiful.
His fingers trembled as he shut the door behind him, the quiet click reverberating through the room in a deafening echo. It was all so domestic, so perfect in its simplicity, so suffocatingly cruel. He should be angry, should feel disgusted, but all Jake could do was feel the ache that stabbed into his heart, a bittersweet longing for the kind of normalcy that was forever out of reach and resentment for Heeseung that masked his hatred for himself.
He moved on autopilot, his legs carrying him to the couch before his mind caught up where he carefully, as if afraid to wake the man, pulled the blanket from the armrest and draped it over Heeseung’s lean frame. He paused, his hand hovering above Heeseung’s hair, his throat tightening, muscles burning with resistance but Jake was weak.
He kneeled. Jake leaned down, pressing a kiss to Heeseung’s forehead, his lips trembling against soft, warm skin, staying still for a moment, closing his eyelids to pretend that it was okay. His eyes stung.
“I wish you were gone,” he whispered, the words barely audible, laced with a truth that he begged his heart to accept, too.
Jake felt pitifully miserable. Ni-ki’s childish sincerity shouldn’t have hit him as hard as it did — he had made peace with the lies he told to the world and himself long ago, but the raw uncertainty in Ni-ki’s voice, the blind devotion, the clear trust he had in Jake's good which he didn't fucking deserve made it a little more unbearable and opened the old wounds he desperately tried to ignore. Jake pulled away, his chest heaving with the effort of holding back the frustrated tears that pricked at the corners of his eyes for the first time in a long while.
He took a step back, his gaze lingering on Heeseung’s sleeping face for a moment longer before turning toward the kitchen. Maybe if he had met Ni-ki sooner, if he had let himself have someone good for him, if he had been less hopeless when it came to Heeseung things would have been different. Maybe if he had been just a bit stronger and let it go he would be happy. But right now, as he quietly plated the rice for two people, he told himself what he had was fine, too.