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Bad idea after bad idea, stupid thought after stupid thought, crazy dream after crazy dream. This is what brought him there, drowned in his tears, his body lying prostrate on the cold floor of the bathroom he shares with his son. His mind tortured by the words that dared to come out when they had no right to.
How long had he been hurting himself like this? Waiting for Tommy's gaze to finally fall on him, hoping to be loved as his best friend is loved. Feelings that he knows are forbidden and that haunt him.
That have just ruined his life.
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“We're going for a drink with Tommy, do you want to come with us?”
They're alone in the locker room when Buck makes the suggestion, smiling lightly as he pulls on his sweater, ready to leave the firehouse after a relatively quiet twelve-hour shift. His bag sits on the bench between the two men. He knows, Eddie, that inside is everything he needs to spend the night with Tommy. His two friends have been seeing each other for more than eight months, and he knows that Buck has his own drawers at Tommy's. But every shift the blond leaves with a new bag, as if he's planning to move his entire wardrobe to his boyfriend's place. A migration Eddie envies as much as he admires.
“Tonight? I thought he was coming out of a 72-hour shift. Wouldn't you rather spend your evening together doing something that's absolutely none of my business?” The insinuation elicits an amused laugh from the blond as his fingers come to play with his wild curls. A new look inspired by Tommy's entry into their lives, a look that suits Buck particularly well. “We're not always jumping each other! Besides, it's been a long time since the three of us went out.” His gaze falls on Eddie, who is closing his locker, also ready to hit the road. “Come on, it'll be good for him to see you.”
You'd think Buck knew what he was doing when he touched that painfully sensitive nerve. The idea that Tommy might be happy to see him warms his insides and Eddie sighs, a sound he hopes is more exasperated than longing. He must be a good actor, because Buck doesn't ask any questions, just taps him cheerfully on the shoulder to encourage him to follow, only too happy to have convinced him so quickly. “If I feel I'm holding the candle for even a second, I'm out of there”. A threat that only served to amuse Buck even more, as he laughed out loud while retrieving the keys to his Jeep. “I promise we'll behave. How about the Italian place near Tommy's? That way, if we end up drunk, we can always walk home. And you can even crash on the couch if you're a good boy.”
His friend's wink coupled with his teasing causes Eddie a nervousness that should be enough for him to know that this evening is a bad idea, to understand that he's not ready to play this game again. The man in the middle, the man who's too much.
It's as if they don't realize what they're doing to him, the two lovers. That they have no idea what the sight of their happiness is doing to him. Eddie is sick with a jealousy that rots his insides. A dark cloud that damages his friendship with Buck a little more every time he watches them lean in to whisper sweet nothings before laughing and kissing as if the world no longer existed. He comes to hate him, the man who has always been there for him since his return to Los Angeles. He comes to curse him for having managed to catch Tommy's eye without Eddie having time to understand his own attraction for the pilot. And the more Eddie hates Buck, the more he hates himself.
Memories of their last evening together haunt him all the way to the bar, and more than once Eddie hesitates to turn back, to claim an emergency with Christopher. But Christopher is still in Texas, and nothing awaits the man but the silence of his home, and the solitude of his loving heart.
The image of Tommy comfortably seated on his sofa, one beer in hand and the other playing with Buck's curls, his voice suave as he recounts his day, his boyfriend caressing his thigh without realizing the intimacy of the gesture. That of Buck, shirtless in the older man's kitchen, his body still wet from an intense workout, devouring an equally sweaty and sexy Tommy with his eyes, unbothered by the presence of the third man. And then that time when Eddie left them both for a moment in his own living room to pick up a few things lent to a neighbor, before returning to catch them kissing passionately on his couch, hands roaming and moaning indecently. Moans that haunted his nights for days on end, provoking reactions in him that he'd never imagined he'd feel.
But Eddie doesn't turn back. He convinces himself that it'll be different this time, that they'll be in a public place and that his two friends would never dare make a spectacle of themselves in front of strangers.
That Tommy wants to see him, that he wants to spend time with him. The three of them have lived in the same universe for eight months, and there's no reason why the status quo shouldn't be disrupted.
Eventually, the feelings will disappear, and he'll just have to laugh about it with his two best friends.
“Eddie! It feels like it's been forever. Have you put on muscle or am I dreaming?”
Tommy's voice is warm, his eyes laughing as he grabs Eddie's arm as if to check the size of his biceps. A gesture that makes Eddie laugh in turn, and he pushes him away playfully, dropping onto the seat opposite his friend as Buck slides in beside him, not without placing a quick kiss on his boyfriend's lips in greeting.
“Fuck off, we saw each other last week. Is it tiredness that's got you delirious?” It's like that between them. They tease each other, play with each other before inevitably picking on Buck together, the perfect team for the blond who's so easy to mess with. A blond who rolls his eyes at their foolishness but can't hide the tenderness in his gaze, sweeping over them both. It could be such a beautiful moment if Eddie's heart stopped beating for the wrong person, if he didn't come to betray his most precious friendship.
“You bet, my shift was q-word.” Eddie couldn't hold back his disabused laugh at his friend's superstition. “I've only flown once in three days, which is a good thing for the people of Los Angeles but deeply pisses me off.” His smile beams at the admission, and Eddie feels something catch fire deep inside him.
The waiter comes and leans over them and places three glasses on their tables, taking the man by surprise as Buck thanks him, obviously having had the opportunity to order a first round without Eddie noticing. Tommy also thanks the man before grabbing his pint with his broad hand, raising the glass between them. “To the shifts going smooth?” Eddie smiles, grabs his glass in turn, sets his eyes on Buck and then Tommy. “And to the q-word.”
A first drink. The story of the day at the 118, laughter at the absurdity of the last call of the day. Second drink, news of Christopher, a few apologetic looks, an abrupt change of subject initiated by Eddie and focusing on his car and the strange noise its engine makes. Third drink, several jokes about Buck and his latest obsession with East Coast lighthouses, a debate between New York and LA.
Fourth drink. “No kidding, why don't you two move in together? And don't tell me it's because it's too soon between you, or some other bullshit. You're constantly together, and Buck doesn't have a sweater left in his loft. Don't you think this is a good time?”
Fifth drink. “What do you mean, you haven't slept with anyone since Marisol left? Shit, buddy, now I really feel sorry for you. This couldn't happen to me-” ”Evan leave him alone! Not everyone is a jackrabbit like you.” “I'm not a jackrabbit!” “ ‘Tell me about it!’
Sixth drink. “This is the last Evan, then we're going home. You're never going to make it home on foot if you're dead drunk and there's no way I'm carrying you all the way home again, my neighbors are going to start asking questions.”
The seventh drink is a mistake, a step too far towards the abyss. But it's so nice in the bar, and the music is festive, and the lights are dimmed, and the smell of Italian food is delicious. And then there's this moment he doesn't want to see end, this complicity he's missed this week. This trio that makes him happy.
His shot of Tommy he doesn't want to let go of.
The three men have spent the evening moving from the bar to their table, from their table to the bathroom, and from the bathroom to the bar again. He doesn't know exactly when he left his seat, Eddie, but here he is next to Tommy, their shoulders bumping into each other with each new movement of the pair, while across the table Buck is telling the story of the last call of the day for the third time this evening.
Of course the two men are amused, and Tommy gives Eddie a knowing look as Buck's words come and go. Eddie smiling perhaps a little too brightly. Eddie who's much too close now, who doesn't realize it until it's too late, when he can't pull back. His eyes rest on Tommy's lips, his senses focus on the pilot's breath, and he doesn't hear Buck, who stops in mid-speech. Doesn't realize how much attention his best friend is paying to him. All he knows is that one moment he's looking at Tommy, and the next second their mouths are meeting.
He can't tell who's made the move that was too much. Doesn't really know where he is anymore, except in paradise. No longer aware of where he stops and the other begins. All he knows is that Tommy's lips taste of beer, pear and infinity.
It's the feel of a hand on his thigh that brings him back to his senses. A big, warm, pressing hand. A hand that shouldn't be there. That's all it takes for Eddie to jump back, the cold replacing Tommy's touch on his lips. His gaze is unable to stay on the man in front of him as reality crashes back into his face. He turns to Buck, ready to apologize, to beg for this horrible betrayal. His mouth even opens to make room for words, but he stops himself. There's no anger in Buck's eyes, no surprise either. “Fuck, I'm so sorry. I don't know- I-”
His best friend's irises seem to have doubled in size, and it's impossible for him to ignore what he sees deep inside, from the one he's so afraid of losing. A vision that stops him again, that takes his breath away. Desire mixed with fascination, heat burning deep inside him. Tommy also looks at Buck, but Eddie is unable to decipher the expression on his face. The dark-haired man is petrified, breathless with guilt and shame. Some of his sobriety is returning, the alcohol leaving his heart, bruised by the mistake. The other part of him has taken hold of his brain and is showing him a new world, a world he would never have dared to imagine. A world where Buck wants him, and Tommy wants him just as much.
“We should go home. All together.”
He's not quite sure what to do Eddie so he stands still, unable to tear his gaze away from Buck who stands up, smiling at him, hand outstretched toward him, tongue running over his lips. Were his lips always so full? So pink? Is it the alcohol talking, or the sudden desire he feels for his best friend? Is he going crazy?
Tommy's hand comes to rest on his shoulder, the grip firm but gentle, and Eddie breathes again. His eyes dart from Buck's hand to Tommy's grinning face. It's a double invitation, and Eddie decides to take it. He stands up and his legs shake. He opens his mouth to speak again, and his heart races. The sound of his heartbeat almost makes him miss Tommy's sigh in his ear, a sigh that sends the most delicious shiver down his spine. “Please, come.”
So Eddie comes. Eddie grabs Buck's hand and exits the bar by his side. The rest of the way is spent in silence, the man navigating a fog he doesn't quite understand. It all seems like a dream he doesn't want to wake up from. Buck's hand is warm and strong, but it can't bring him down to earth. Nor does Tommy's, which settles in the hollow of his back, accompanying him all the way. He'd like to talk, to ask if they're sure, if they know what they're doing. He'd like to apologize to Tommy, promise not to do it again. He'd like to swear to Buck that he means him no harm, that he's not here to steal the love of his life. But he says nothing. Nobody says anything. All that's left in the air is the smell of alcohol, the silence of the night and the desire of these three men.
Entering Tommy's house is a mistake, but a beautiful one. The man knows that walking through the door means agreeing to change the rules of the game forever. That it will be impossible for the three of them to go back to the way they were before. So, before taking the last steps to Tommy's living room, he looks up and, for the first time, manages to concentrate on the moment, on what's in front of him.
There's Tommy, staring at him with that look he normally reserves for Buck, dying to touch him. There's Buck beside him, his body against his boyfriend's, with the same warmth in his eyes as Tommy. And Eddie, feeling his last barriers weaken. Only to fall when the pilot's voice breaks the silence. “Eddie, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to.” He's sincere, Tommy, and he's attentive, and he looks at him as if Eddie were the most important person in the world. The same look he gives Buck, before leaning in to kiss his boyfriend languorously, even lovingly. A kiss that Eddie scrutinizes, that he craves, that finally convinces him. Because the two men kiss as if the world was beautiful, and he too would like to see that place.
“I want you. Both of you.” The man's voice is a whisper, but it's heartfelt, and that seems to be enough for Buck. Buck whose lips leave Tommy's but who doesn't let go of his hand, Buck who also grabs his friend's, and pulls them both in.
Suddenly everything changes. As the door closes, as the three men find themselves in the darkness of a house they all know by heart, the cards are reshuffled. He senses Buck approaching, feels his hands grab his face and his lips crush against his, drawing a startled moan from him. The kiss is much more intense than the one with Tommy, but it's just as pleasant. It takes Eddie a moment to fully realize what's going on. And then it's right, his lips part to let the blond's tongue pass and his hands rest on the back of his neck as Tommy's larger ones grab him by the waist and hold him in place. Soon their bodies are pressing together and soon their feet are moving.
How many hours did he spend imagining himself there, between the two bodies, the center of all their attention? Entire nights dreaming of their warmth, their mouths, their muscles beneath his fingers. Buck is the perfect silhouette of lust. Tommy is the ideal form of love. And there they are, both of them, running their hands down his shirt, hoping to send the piece of fabric waltzing as fast as possible.
And it waltzes, the fabric, disappears into a corner of the living room, or is it the hallway? He's baffled, Eddie, and he doesn't care. Wants nothing more than to be the sun star around which the couple rotates, at least for tonight, at least for a moment. Surely they'll regret it tomorrow, and nothing will ever happen between them again. They'll move on, drowning together in their happiness. At least she'll still have the memory of tonight.
“Damn, Tommy, don't you think he's beautiful?” Buck's voice rises in the dark room, a beacon amidst the moans and groans. The compliment is pleasing, as are Tommy's lips attacking the skin of his neck, the shape of his shoulders. His eyes land on Buck in the half-light and he smiles at the man. Moving at last, he grabs the belt of the guy he's known for so long and pulls him to his side before planting an obscene kiss on his lips. A mixture of lips and tongues and teeth and the drunkenness returns as quickly as it disappeared. Tommy's hands on his hips are burning, caressing and squeezing as he takes his time marking the tender flesh of his neck with a hickey he'd like to see, Eddie. But he's too busy undoing Buck's belt buckle, unzipping his pants and dropping them to the floor. A move that makes Buck laugh against his mouth, backing away a little, just enough to catch his breath as well as speak. “You're so pretty darling.”
“So so pretty.” Tommy's voice is full of desire and rumbles right into his hard-on, making his whole body tingle. He turns his head, Eddie, looks at Tommy. He'd like to turn on the light, to see the lust in his lover's eyes, but he doesn't dare. Afraid that the moment will disappear, that the shadows will take away the magic of the moment. As if their embrace must remain a secret. So he simply kisses him, turning between his arms to place his lips more gently on his own. Behind him, Buck moans, clearly aroused by what he has before him. The man moves closer, pressing his body against Eddie's, his own cock straining his underwear. “Please” is all Eddie manages to whisper between kisses, but it's enough.
“Come on.” Tommy's hand catches his as Buck stays glued to his body, and the three men take the last few steps to the older man's room. Tommy is the first to drop onto the bed, removing his shirt in one motion without taking the time to unbutton it. Then he grabs Eddie's waist and pulls him towards him, hurrying to finish undressing him. Behind them, Buck does the same, keeping only the underwear, which hides nothing. He leans against the wall, his eyes fixed on the two men, and his hand comes to pull his cock out of its fabric jail. Tommy sits on the edge of the bed, his face so close to Eddie, to his groin, to the object of his desires. Finally, Eddie finds himself naked, his body unable to stop pulsing, his mind spinning at a thousand miles an hour. He must be dead, and now he's arrived in the great beyond. There's no other explanation for what's happened to him tonight.
Tommy smiles at him and comes to kiss his hip, one then two then three kisses, closing in on his hard-on slowly, too slowly, and Eddie feels like he's losing his mind. Behind him Buck began to stroke his own length, a soft movement, just enough to arouse the first feelings. Eddie senses his best friend's gaze on his skin, his want, his appetite. The other man is enjoying the show. A spectacle that becomes more spectacular when Tommy's hand grabs the base of Eddie's cock, bringing it to his mouth. First he flicks his tongue along its length, his gaze locked with his, and Eddie can't hold back the whimper that escapes his mouth. His hands tremble as they grab the other man's shoulders to steady themselves, and Buck chuckles as his fist clenches on his own cock, caresses becoming more pressing. “You'll see. Tommy's a wonder of nature, blowing like a god. He'll take good care of you.” It makes him shiver, Buck's voice.
Tommy's lips settle on his shaft, kissing the flushed skin, stroking and exploring greedily, then finally parting, catching the tip of the hard-on and never letting go. Eddie feels the wonderful tongue on his slit, discovering his head, travel the rest of the way as he takes it in his mouth. Slowly at first, then more confidently, each thrust drawing a new pleasured sigh from both men. And then Tommy's gaze finally leaves him and settles on Buck, who looks at them with desire, with amazement. They stare at each other, the couple, and Eddie knows how they feel. Sees the love they share, the mutual trust. The thrill they take in playing together, and Eddie would almost be offended by the lost attention if Tommy didn't blow him so well.
He's right Buck, Tommy's perfect. Eddie's fingers dig into the flesh of his shoulders, but Tommy doesn't complain; on the contrary, he takes the gesture as an invitation to speed up. “Oh fuck- Tommy-”
Suddenly he can't form a coherent thought, Eddie, as Buck's free hand settles on his ass. It caresses, it explores. And Eddie can do nothing but whine, close his eyes and let his head fall back. Buck makes the most of it, his mouth devouring Eddie's tender skin, kissing and biting and licking as Tommy sets an ever-increasing pace, clearly getting off on the effect he's having on the youngest of the three, working even harder to give him as much pleasure as possible. And it's working. He can hardly hold back Eddie, feels his hips moving of their own volition. He'd like to fuck that wonderful mouth but he doesn't dare, the last traces of his common sense worried about hurting the man.
Of course, the movement doesn't slip Buck's mind. Buck smiles against his skin, letting go of his own length to grab Eddie's waist, coming to press his body against his. His cock presses between Eddie's butt cheeks and a cry of pleasure escapes him as he thrusts into the third man's mouth. A man who moans, opens his mouth a little wider and relaxes his throat as much as he can, taking everything he can into his mouth without worrying about the drool dripping from his lips or the obscene noises he's making. Wonderful noises, as wonderful as Buck's body against his. Buck whispering again. Buck with his lips against his ear, against his skin, whose breath smells of alcohol and devotion. “Eddie, let it go. Let go darling, you deserve it. Take what you want.”
And he obeys Eddie, far too excited by the tender demand, discovering himself far more submissive than he'd imagined. Now he's no longer holding back, helped by Buck's hands guiding him back and forth, urging him to fuck Tommy's mouth without restraint. And Tommy moans, and Buck moans, and Eddie moans. Eddie thinks he's going crazy with all this pleasure. It seems to him that nothing has ever been as good as what's happening tonight. That nothing will ever erase this memory.
“Fuck, Buck I- Buck...” His best friend's nickname tastes different tonight, it seems inappropriate. Tonight he discovers another man, a powerful man, a man who knows what he needs, who's there to give it to him. “Evan.” And Evan smiles against his skin, rubs his hard-on against his ass, tightens his fingers on his skin, which will remain scarred for a while, no doubt. “Eddie...” The name is pronounced with such eagerness, such wonder. Eddie would never have imagined hearing his name whispered like that by his best friend, but already knows he'll want to hear it again. And Tommy watching them, and Tommy unable to restrain himself from touching himself, seeking his own pleasure while securing the other man's.
“Eddie, come on sweetheart.” The shudder caused by the pet name is too much, and he feels his body burning. Feels it's coming, the deliverance. “Fuck, i'm.. I'm so close I- Fuck Evan, Evan... Tommy... Ev... Fuck Tommy! Tommy!” There's a moment when Eddie loses control. A moment when the only word he's able to utter is the name of the man he's secretly loved for too long. A moment when Evan is there without really being there. A moment when he loses himself. He orgasms, Eddie, discharges all his come into Tommy's lovely mouth, and then.
“Tommy... Fuck, I love you, fuck!”
The words slip out without him realizing it at first, too focused on his release, on this orgasm that directly earns the title of best orgasm of his existence. It's Buck's silence, his sudden imobility, that alerts him as he continues to thrust back and forth, chasing the end of his climax into Tommy's mouth, which responds enthusiastically to his every gesture, devouring him, reveling in his come.
Has Tommy heard the forbidden declaration? He doesn't know, Eddie. Doesn't really care. Because now Buck knows. Buck is now aware of the betrayal, of the horrible truth. And this sudden realization is like a slap in the face for the younger man, who suddenly pulls away from the couple, earning himself a surprised look from Tommy. Buck's is impossible to read.
“Shit, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. Shit, shit I- I'm sorry Buck, I- “ What can he says? The words are lost as Tommy stands up, reaches out to take his hand, to reassure him, to calm him. But he won't let him get any closer, Eddie, and steps back, panic rising little by little. His eyes refuse to leave Buck's, begging. And Buck just stands there, immobile. And Eddie gets scared.
“I'm sorry.” The man's voice is a whisper. “What's happening?” Tommy asks, clearly worried. Tommy whose eyes dart from one man to the next, Tommy made clumsy by alcohol, Tommy who doesn't understand. “Evan, are you alright?”
He opens his mouth to answer, but Eddie doesn't give him time. “Buck, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have I... Fuck, I gotta go.” He grabbed the first clothes that came to hand, put them on without listening to Tommy's protests, and then left.
It was when he lay sobbing on the bathroom floor that he realized his mistake. Buck's T-shirt on his shoulders, and the smell of the two of them on his skin forever.
The coolness of the floor is pleasant, keeping him focused on the surrounding world. It almost lulls him, reminding him that he's human. It's as reassuring as it is painful. Freshness makes everything more real, right down to his mistake. Right down to those words he shouldn't have uttered. Buck's silence is more suffocating than that of his empty house. It haunts him. It stays with him for what seems like hours.
How long has he been there, on the floor, wallowing in regret?
Is the knock he now hears on the front door the first of the night? Has it been a long time since someone stood in front of his house? He's not even sure he heard right, and he doesn't want to hear. Ignores his curiosity, ignores the possibility of an unexpected guest. He has no desire to see anyone, not even his son, whom he misses so much.
Ignoring the noises doesn't help. The sound of keys in the lock of his door reaches his ears and he closes his eyes, pressing his eyelids together as if it might make him disappear. He should have expected this. Of course Buck didn't let it go, of course he couldn't escape the sheer embarrassment. The confrontation. His best friend's voice comes to him from the living room, and with it the sound of footsteps. Two pairs of legs, which startles him enough to stop the sobs.
“Eddie?” Tommy's voice freezes him, prevents him from breathing. The other man is at his side in no time, kneeling beside his helpless body, a hand coming to rest on his shoulder. The contact is burning, but it's gentle. “Eddie, please, look at me.”
The man hesitates, then turns his head. Looks at Tommy and his worried gaze, and at Buck behind him, who looks just as worried. Buck with no anger in his face. Buck with his hand on Tommy's shoulder, caressing his boyfriend's solid form, before leaning over an Eddie who still hasn't caught his breath. “Eddie, baby, it's gonna be okay.”
Buck's voice is reassuring, removing a painful thorn from his heart. Then Eddie catches his breath, a noisy inhale as he straightens and throws himself into the two men's arms, tears returning. “Fuck, I'm so sorry. I should have kept my mouth shut. Guys... I never meant to hurt you, I swear.” The words come out without being able to stop, guilt so heavy to bear that finally runs out. Frank once told him he'd locked himself up with his emotions. Today, the cage is opening. Thanks to alcohol, thanks to fatigue, thanks to the pleasure offered by the couple? He doesn't know, he doesn't care, he continues his laius. “I didn't want to fall in love, I did everything I could to forget.” Buck's hand comes to caress the back of the man on the ground, reassuring, relaxing contact. The warmth of his palm encourages him to let go, to chain the words together. “I won't do anything to come between you two, I promise! And if you'd rather I walked away, I'll- I'll walk away. I never meant to hurt you.”
Tommy begins to rock him as Buck shushes him, stroking his back, then his hairs. “It's okay Eddie, you didn't do anything. Just breathe, it's all right.” It's all right. It's all right. It's all right. Buck's words draw a mirthless laugh from him as his face comes to nestle against Tommy's chest as if to hide. “No, I ruined it.”
He doesn't see the look Tommy and Buck share. He's not aware of the words they exchange with their eyes. All he perceives is Tommy's heart against his forehead and Buck's fingers on his skull. Try to concentrate on these two sensations to regain some of his composure. So focused on his own senses, he almost misses Tommy's words: “You didn't ruin anything, Eddie, on the contrary. I need to tell you something...” Tommy's fingers come to grip his chin and he lifts the younger man's face, plunges two blue pearls into the brown irises. “I love you too. I've been for a while now. Evan knows, and he's okay with it.” Buck hums as if to confirm, and Eddie frowns. Because it doesn't make sense. Because Tommy is Buck's true love, not his.
“No, you love Buck, you can't- I won't make you two break-up.” He'd hate himself for stealing his best friend's happiness out of selfishness. But Buck just laughs before leaning in a little closer and placing a kiss on his temple. Tommy's fingers, meanwhile, don't move, keeping Eddie steady. “You're not going to break us up Eddie, nothing can keep Tommy and me apart. He's the love of my life, and I'm his. But you know love is more complicated than that.”
“What do you mean?”
“Tommy loves me, and he loves you. And you love him. And you're my best friend, even more than that. You're my soul mate Eddie. And maybe I don't love you like I love Tommy, but you're important to me.” Buck's voice is now a whisper, as if the bathroom has turned into a holy place and he must respect the sanctity of the moment.
There, on the floor in the middle of the night, it seems to Eddie that he's never been more sober. That the universe has never been clearer. “Buck- Evan...” His body finally moves. His hand catches the man's cheek, and he gives in to the contact. Tommy moves too. His fingers disappear for a moment to find themselves on Eddie's hips, bringing him a little closer, on top of himself. A gesture that catches the eye of the younger man, who doesn't know who to look at, who to listen to, who to concentrate on. There's suddenly too much information, too much data to process. But he processes as best he can, and ends up smiling a wet, surprised smile. “What the fuck? Did we just... ? ” He's unable to finish his sentence. Because he has no idea what they've just done, the three men. But that seems to be enough for the couple. They laugh, Evan and Tommy, as emotional as he is. And then Tommy brings his face close and places a chaste kiss on his lips, followed closely by Evan.
Two mouths that are now his. Two mouths he never wants to leave.