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Image that helped inspire this by Kirakanjo on X
Rafayel didn’t even know how many hours had already passed as he looked out into the water. The rocking of their small boat was rhythmical, making him relax with the waves. He was at home here, enjoying the beautiful, clear water that was right off the beaches of his studio. He looked over at Xavier, who held a fishing rod, nodding off slightly as he sat there staring at the ocean. The setting of the sun had just begun, casting the water in an almost orange glow that illuminated Xavier just right. There was almost a halo around Xavier’s head, one of the reasons Rafayel often found himself calling him an angel was because of this quality. It had him staring at the man longer than anticipated, admiring every inch of his face from the profile view he had.
“You know, you almost look like you came right out of a painting,” Rafayel commented as he looked over at Xavier. Xavier seemed to hum, looking over at his boyfriend. Rafayel looked almost bored on the ship, something Xavier noticed a while ago.
Rafayel had been pacing back and forth for about half an hour now before settling down to just stare at Xavier. Initially, he had been fishing with him; after all, this entire date was his idea. Sure, it was just to get Xavier over to the ocean, but he had been the one who suggested fishing. “If you’re bored, we can head back,” Xavier suggested, not caring one way or another. He was getting a bit tired anyway, and would enjoy being able to cuddle up on a couch at the studio.
Rafayel had clearly lost interest in the activity a long time ago, anyway, especially after not being able to hook anything. It was probably because, at the start of this all, he had been talking enthusiastically to Xavier, is voice scaring off any potential fish. Xavier hadn’t minded one bit, enjoying the sound of Rafayel’s voice as he talked about how Thomas had been nagging him to finish a painting, and here he was instead.
Rafayel huffed as a response, walking over to Xavier and crouching down next to his chair. He placed his head onto Xavier’s thigh, and the blonde hunter couldn’t stop himself from running his hands through Rafayel’s purple locks, “I don’t want to go back yet,” he said, almost pouting. He never got to spend days like this with Xavier, unhurried, relaxed, and just the two of them. Things had been so chaotic as of late that he had been dying to get out to the ocean. In fact, he had been craving it, feeling homesick, something he hadn’t felt in such a long time, and he had thought he had forgotten about the twisting feeling in his gut whenever he thought about Lemuria.
So he dragged Xavier here with him, wanting him to be part of his sanctuary. There were no other boats, and no other humans in sight. He had leaned into Xavier’s touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. He still felt so antsy, wanting just to toss himself overboard and relax in the soothing waves. “Wanna swim…” Rafayel muttered without thinking about it.
He watched as Xavier reeled in his line and set it to the side, now his full attention on his Lemurian boyfriend, “The boat isn’t that big. You can jump right over the edge whenever you want.” Xavier reminded him. Rafayel’s eyes glanced off to the side; it was true; if he did, he could even rest his upper body on the ship and still be okay. The option was so tempting, but he still felt so unsure about it. Lately, he realized, he was unsure about a lot of things.
“Don’t want to…” he said; his voice wasn’t serious, but it was laced with something different. Something Xavier wasn’t used to hearing on Rafayel. Hesitance, reluctance, almost insecurity. All of it came out in the way he spoke, the way his eyes looked anywhere but at Xavier. It made him feel a like his stomach was churning with how uncomfortable he was with.
“What if I jumped in with you?” Xavier offered, making Rafayel look at him with furrowed brows. While Rafayel would adore it, he still felt some sort of way. He didn’t even know why he was feeling like that. Maybe because he knew if he got into the water, he might not want to get back to shore. He might just stay there indefinitely. Under the harsh waves was serenity for Rafayel, a calming sensation that couldn’t be found on the surface. All responsibilities went away when he was under the surface of the water, and he was scared if he got a taste of that in his current state, he would say ‘fuck it’ and stay there forever.
Rafayel had been quiet for a moment, and then he felt Xavier taking his hand into his own. Xavier squeezed it and then brought it up to his lips, kissing the back of Rafayel’s hand while giving him a reassuring smile. “Whatever you choose, I’ll be right here for you.” Xavier couldn’t say he understood what Rafayel was currently going through, but at least he could be there to support him in whatever way he could. It’s what you did for the person you loved, after all, and Xavier could say without a doubt in his mind he had fallen hard for Rafayel a long time ago.
A few moments passed once more before Rafayel returned the squeeze of Xavier’s hand, showing him a smile of his own, “Alright, I think I’ll get in then. Promise you’ll be right here, though?” Rafayel asked an easygoing smile now showing on his face to hide the inner turmoil in his heart. It was a bit wobbly and not the most convincing thing, but it was the thought that counted.
“I’ll always be here for you,” Xavier assured him. Rafayel felt himself flush at his words, hoping that it were true. So far Xavier hadn’t lied to him, if he didn’t want to tell him something he would look off to the side and change the subject. It was a quality he liked a lot about the man. At least he knew, if anything he could trust his words.
With that, Rafayel was standing up; he took a few layers of his clothes off until he was just in his white button-down shirt and some briefs. Xavier watched with interest as his boyfriend walked over to the edge, dipping a single foot inside and shivering. The water felt fantastic today despite how chilly the air was. Then he jumped in, some of the water spraying over Xavier as he watched Rafayel disappear into the water. Xavier had used his arm, raising it to his face to avoid the salty spray as he let out a small laugh.
The blonde then got closer to the edge, looking over into the crystal-like water. He could see Rafayel’s smiling face under the surface, his eyes shining with amusement as he swam up to the surface. He broke through it and hauled the upper half of his body up. Xavier was sitting right at the edge now, and Rafayel took that as an opportunity to place his wet arms onto Xavier’s lap, once again resting his head there. The water seeped into Xavier’s pants, sending a slight shiver down his spine at how cool it felt in the autumn breeze. Even at the ocean, things were starting to cool down, and the water was no exception.
Xavier chuckled, his hands going through Rafayel’s hair again, brushing the wet strands out of his face so he could get a clear view of him. He always knew Rafayel was beautiful, something he couldn’t put into words sometimes. It was otherworldly, and it had him wanting to stare at him all the time. His finger went over Rafayel’s cheekbone, slowly trailing it over until it was pressing against his plush lips.
Rafayel looked up at Xavier curiously, then sat up some more. He leaned up to Xavier, his intentions evident if you knew anything about the man. Xavier couldn’t stop how he smiled and leaned down to meet Rafayel halfway. Their lips collided in a gentle, languid kiss. The gentle brush against one another, the light panting, and the heat from one another had Rafayel’s heart pounding in his chest. His arm reaches up to cup the back of Xavier’s neck and holds him in place against his mouth. He played with the strands at the nape of his neck, sending yet another shiver wracking down Xavier’s spine at the sensitivity of the area.
He hummed into the kiss, savoring every second he could. Xavier seemed to be lost in it as well; his eyes closed as their lips melded together until finally, they came up to breathe. Their breath fanned over one another, and Rafayel leaned up quickly to peck his cheek before getting back to his previous position. Xavier’s eyes barely fluttered open, cerulean meeting the blue and pink of Rafayel’s in a tender gaze that seemed to lock onto one another’s.
“I love you,” Rafayel murmured, his hand going to play with Xavier’s. He was no longer looking up at those blue eyes that always drew him in. Instead, he just focused on Xavier’s hand, the way his fingers were long and slender, the slight callouses on them, and the strength that they held. It was enough to keep his grounded at the moment, flustered over his own admittance despite it not being the first time he’s told him. If he had bothered to look up, he would’ve seen the stunned look Xavier had, the way his mouth hung open, and the dusting of pink on his cheeks. Sure, the words had been said often between the two of them, but it was still nice to hear them from time to time, especially when Rafayel was being so docile like this.
“I love you as well, Rafayel,” Xavier said, forgoing using their usual nicknames. It had red spreading to Rafayel’s ears and cheeks as he looked up at Xavier finally. It was far too apparent in the way Xavier looked at him that he meant his words; he looked so in love that it sent an almost painful pang in Rafayel’s chest. Rafayel felt himself sinking into the water more, unable to handle that look at the moment. He was hoping maybe the water would be able to cool him down and ease the fast beating of his heart since it currently felt like it could burst out of his chest at any moment.
“Rafayel?” Xavier called out, wondering if he had done something wrong. Rafayel hummed, glancing at him as he relaxed into the water some more, letting the small waves lap at his neck and cheeks, “Why don’t you ever…I know you have another form.” Xavier settled on, and now Rafayel felt his body tense up. Xavier could see it as well, the way his shoulders seemed to straighten out, and his body becoming more rigid than it had been before.
“Do you think I sprout a tail?” Rafayel asked, now deflecting, “You know, not every rumor of Lemurians is real,” he tried to remind Xavier with a slight pout on his lips. Maybe if he just tried making Xavier feel bad about assuming things, he could get out of answering questions…something he doubted would work. It never worked when it came to Xavier.
“I happen to know this one is a fact, though,” Xavier said, and he could see Rafayel biting the inside of his cheek. Xavier had been witness to him on ebb day, had seen the scales on his cheeks and neck, along with how the peppered his chest. He knew what the scales looked like, and Rafayel had a small slip of the tongue that day and mentioned how the scales of his tail shone more under the moonlight. Still, if did want to give Rafayel an out if need be, “But if you’re uncomfortable with the topic, we can change it.” He settled on saying, not wanting Rafayel to shut down at the moment.
Rafayel took in a deep breath as he looked back over at Xavier, “It’s…” he began, the paused, “When you think of Lemurians, what do you think we look like?” Rafayel finally asked, surprising Xavier as he thought about it.
“I always heard they have tails that glistened in the sunlight, and beauty beyond compare.” Xavier said, “I happen to know your scales look very pretty, just like you, so I thought it was pretty accurate.” The last part had Rafayel feeling flustered all over again, but he kept the serious edge of the conversation.
Instead of reacting, he huffed, running his hands through his bangs, “They never talk about all the other qualities…” Rafayel grumbled under his breath, then looked back at Xavier, “It’s just…Lemurians look…it’s different. It’s not like some mermaid from a storybook, you know?” Rafayel explained, garnering Xavier’s attention for a moment.
“Then, why don’t you show me what you look like?” Xavier suggested, “Nothing can ever change my feelings for you, so if you wanted to…” Xavier didn’t seem nervous in the slightest, just curious. He was always so interested when it came to Rafayel. The man knew how to guard every secret, and unless Xavier asked the correct questions, he felt like there was no proper way to learn about him. Rafayel was an enigma at the end of the day, what his past was like was a mystery to Xavier still. Not that Xavier could complain, he had yet to tell Rafayel about Philos.
Rafayel took a moment to process the words he had said, unsure what direction he wanted to go in. Sure, he could show him, and sure, he could say nothing could change his opinion…but a Lemurian’s true form could be seen as monstrous to some. Sea creatures were often beautiful, but they were also like strange creatures to humans. From their eyes to their body, everything was different. He knew Xavier wasn’t exactly human himself, but he was pretty damn close to one. Humans were good at saying kind words, and then stabbing someone in the back the moment they didn’t conform. He didn’t want to think Xavier would ever do that to him, but he couldn’t stop the uncertainty.
“I…” Rafayel said, but he didn’t have the words. He wanted to show Xavier he trusted him enough, but he just felt so worried that he would go back on his words. He’d take the boat to shore and never look back, never bother seeing him again. If he lost Xavier, he’d be losing a piece of himself, one he wasn’t prepared to part with just yet. He made him feel things he didn’t think were possible. “Do you swear…” his voice was so quiet right now as he looked at Xavier with some reluctance.
Xavier looked up at hearing this, leaning over the edge of the boat for a moment to get closer to Rafayel, “I swear to you, I’ll always love you,” Xavier said, wanting him to know that no matter what, nothing between then would change his feelings. He held out a pinky to Rafayel, something that Rafayel himself though was childish. Still, he wrapped his own around Xavier’s in the small promise they made together.
Rafayel then nodded his head, once again unable to meet the tender gaze of his boyfriend, “A-alright, then look away.” Rafayel said, his hands going to cover Xavier’s eyes. Xavier chuckled, closing his eyes as he felt Rafayel’s hands leaving his face. He could hear more splashing in the water around him, could listen to something that sounded like a tail, but he kept his eyes closed, not wanting to upset Rafayel in a moment like this. Excitement was building up in him though, the sheer curiosity that he had over what Rafayel truly looked like couldn’t be satiated until he could look with how own eyes.
Finally, Rafayel’s voice broke through the noises of waves and splashes, “Alright, you can open them,” Rafayel said, his voice almost shaking. Xavier’s eyes opened, looking into the water. He didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t this. What he saw was better than he ever expected, and the slow beating of his heart suddenly picked up as he took in Rafayel’s Lemurian form.
Rafayel certainly looked far larger than usual, his upper half growing in size while his giant tail that was probably three times his body length swayed behind him in the setting sun. His blue to-lavender scales shone in the sunlight, the tips a cherry red tone; the long dorsal fine held a transparent shimmer to it that made it look out of his world, catching the light like a rainbow kaleidescope. Then you had the other qualities of Rafayel, the changes that nobody truly spoke about when it came to Lemurians.
His ears were now replaced with two giant fins on the side of his head, matching the dorsal fins with the iridescent shimmer. Scales line his cheeks and neck, going down his body in an abstract pattern, and there were far more in this form than there had been on Ebb day. The scales on his cheeks reminded Xavier of freckles, but these ones shined brilliantly and caught his eyes just right. Large, webbed hands held onto the edge of the boat, the baby blue tone covering them as it faded down to his elbows into his natural skin tone. The whites of his eyes were now completely black, and his eyes now seemed to shine a brighter blue than they usually did, the pinks in them completely gone.
He looked uncertain, his tail swaying behind him, and when he opened his mouth, Xavier could see rows of sharp teeth and a blue tongue inside, “So…” Rafayel was about to say something, but Xavier beat him to it.
“You’re…breathtaking…” Xavier said, his eyes now softening the longer he looked at his boyfriend. Rafayel blushed, his cheeks now glowing as he looked at Xavier, finally wanting to meet his gaze to make sure he was telling the truth. The glow from his cheeks threw Xavier off guard, but he couldn’t stop from thinking how adorable it made him look, almost like a firefly in the ocean.
“It’s…monstrous, isn’t it? At least that’s what I’ve heard from others.” Rafayel said; to him, this is how Lemurians looked. It was expected; it was part of their life. It wasn’t until he went to the surface and saw in storybooks about sirens or other monster-like sea creatures that he found out that this form would be revolting to most. Still, the way Xavier looked at him told him otherwise; there was nothing but pure admiration that had his fins flickering on the sides of his head. The sinking feeling he had in his gut was slowly starting to go away, knowing that he wasn’t being discarded just like that.
“How could something so beautiful be monstrous?” Xavier said, reaching a hand out to Rafayel. With some reluctance, Rafayel took his hand and wrapped his clawed fingers around Xavier’s. His hand was larger now as well, encapsulating Xavier’s completely, but Xavier didn’t seem to care as he brought it to his mouth. He pressed a kiss on the sensitive webbing of Rafayel’s hands and looked at him with a smile.
“You know, I say I always love you, but…” Xavier began, “I can’t help it,” Xavier admitted, “I really can’t help falling in love with you,” Rafayel felt tears coming to the corner of his eyes as his mouth opened. He fought them back, not wanting to cry in front of Xavier right after revealing what he truly looked like.
“Xavier, you’re getting…too sappy now…” Rafayel said, his voice now shaking as he cleared his throat and turned to look away from him. The torrent of emotions were washing over him, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take of this gentle side of his boyfriend.
“You can have it, you know,” Xavier said, making Rafayel look back at him, “My whole life, it’s yours if you want it.”
Now Rafayel was truly and utterly speechless, his words crashing onto him harder than any wave could. He blinked at Xavier, trying to think of a proper response, “Is this a proposal?” he finally asked, trying to laugh it off, but he couldn’t help it. He was at a loss for words, a loss for what to do. What did he ever do to deserve someone like Xavier in his life? Sure, half the time, things were chaotic. Jokes and laughter were a regular thing, egging one another on and challenging each other. Then there were moments like these that were so tooth-rotting sweet that Rafayel felt like he didn’t deserve even a fraction of Xavier’s affection.
“It could be; I wouldn’t mind getting married,” Xavier said, “But I am serious. I think…this was meant to be. I can’t explain why, but it feels right being here with you. Seeing you like this just solidifies it all.” The thought of one day being bound to Rafayel in marriage was appealing. He had always wanted to be a family, and Rafayel seemed to be the best partner for that. He was patient with Xavier, and they never truly fought. He could see himself spending the rest of his life with him, waking up together every morning in the same bed, and just enjoying the basic domestic moments together.
“Xavier…” Rafayel said breathlessly, “Could you…get into the water with me?” he said; his voice cracked slightly as he spoke. Once again he found himself fighting back tears; he swore Xavier would be the death of him. Nobody should be allowed to say such tender things to another living being and get away with it.
Xavier looked up at Rafayel after he said that and nodded. He stood up for the first time in a while, taking his coat off and tossing it to the side, along with his boots. Just like Rafayel, he got into his shirt and underwear, and as he approached the edge, Rafayel held his hand out, “Take my hand,” he said, his voice gentler than it usually was. His eyes were shining now with utter adoration for Xavier, the man being the only thing he could focus on right now. How he managed to make all his insecurities fly out the door was a miracle in itself, for the first time since coming to the surface, he felt completely comfortable being in this form.
Xavier took it without hesitation, allowing Rafayel to pull him into the water and into his embrace. Xavier let out a small gasp, his arms wrapping around his much larger boyfriend as he looked up at his eyes. He was then brought into a searing kiss, Rafayel meeting his mouth with his own as their lips once more melded together. It felt right; the way they slotted against one another had Xavier shivering. It truly was meant to be like this; he knew he was right. His hand went into Rafayel’s hair, not even flinching as they went under the surface of the water, the water blanketing their bodies and shielding them from the world.
It wasn’t the first time Rafayel had given him the ability to breathe under the water, but now it was different. Even with the ability, he felt like he was drowning into him. His eyes opened as he looked up at Rafayel above him, the streams of sunlight casting over him as he cupped Rafayel’s cheek once they broke free of the kiss. He didn’t see how anyone could ever say this form was scary, it wasn’t even close to being monstrous. It was perfect in every way, he was perfect in every way.
“Xavier…can we stay here for a while?” Rafayel asked, flipping them over and having Xavier resting on his chest. Xavier let out a slight, startled noise as he was quickly moved onto Rafayel’s chest, his head resting right between the valley of his chest. Rafayel’s clawed hand were running through his hair, gently scrapping against his scalp. Xavier felt almost like a content cat, curling up into his large boyfriend and rubbing his chin onto him, his eyes blinking slower than usual.
He could feel them moving as Rafayel lazily swam, “Ya, I think I’d like that, Raf,” Xavier said, feeling a certain serenity that came with being here. Under the water, it indeed was just the two of them. Xavier could only hear Rafayel’s heartbeat at the moment, and he could feel his warmth radiating off of him. It was the perfect moment for them, and he basked in it. Knowing that he was secure, Rafayel knew that no matter what, no matter how bad the surface seemed, at least he’d always have Xavier to come back to.