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The yellow spring road is full of people. Ivan could see both humans and non-humans walking slowly through the narrow bridge. He walks behind a young girl, shorter than his torso, maybe hasn't passed her double-digit birthday yet.
Ivan knows that outfit like the back of his hand. A white gown, shy of even a speck of dirt. Because there’s no dirt in there. The dirt is as fake as the sky so nothing could contaminate the cloth. Like their parent's wanted.
He smiled out of habit. Showing his signature fangs. He chuckles to himself thinking of the past he once had.
The girl probably heard him as she glances back to him. She cautiously eyed him from the side of her eyes. Ivan did nothing but stare at her, earning an even more guarded eye.
The queue is advancing slowly but surely. They slowly passed the middle section of the bridge. At the end an old woman is handing a cup of liquid.
Ivan knows what it is. Meng Po soup. He got a speedy lecture from the man in black who brought him here through some kind of a gate. Apparently, they would forget everything once they drink the liquid.
As they advance, the girl in front of him could not hold her curiosity at all. She glances quickly at him and then back at the long queue in front of her and voiced her concerns, "So why did you die?"
Ivan glanced curiously at her. The girl wearing Anakt Garden outfit isn't looking at him at all but at the dark water below them. She appeared to be wary of him but unable to hold her curious inquiry. She's probably here because of that exact personality of hers. Knowledge is one kind of danger after all. Having a meddlesome personality isn't the most popular among the beings after all.
"I try to save the person I like." Ivan replied. The girl shifted slightly. Turning her head 90 degrees to see him but still unwilling to face him completely.
"Oh- I did the same!" She smiled. Her face flushed slightly. Probably remembering the person she gave her life for.
"Did you succeed?" Ivan asks. He walks forward with her while the queue shortens a bit more.
"I think so, I helped her run away but we were found midway so I ask her to run first while I distract them." She recounts her experience animatedly. Her hands flying all around the place trying to show how brave she is.
"What about you mister?"
Ivan smile didn't falter a bit. It grows even bigger with his eyes turning into crescents. "He survived because of me so I think I did great as well."
"That's great!"
The girl didn't even manage to finish her sentence when the creature with tentacles in front of her frees her view and she came face to face with the old lady handing the bowl of soup.
"Another one with a huge attachment I see, so dear, once you drink you would be free, but if you do, your feelings would disappear." Meng Po handed a bowl to the little girl. She held her bowl with a pained expression.
"If I don't drink what's going to happened?" The girl asked.
"Nothing, you cannot walk in the afterlife with attachment to the mortal world. You have to wait from the back of the line if you don't drink now." Meng Po shoo her with a hand gesture when she hesitates.
"If you don't want to drink then don't, we're busy so you have to be quick." The old lady takes the bowl from the girl’s hand and make the motion of throwing the liquid away.
"Ah- I want to drink!" The girl tries to snatch her bowl back.
"Oh? You don't want to wait for your loved ones?"
The girl looks at the long and never-ending line behind her. She thinks back on her friend and decisively shook her head.
"I hope I won't meet her here in a short period of time. I hope when I meet her again, it would be in the next life with her becoming a grandma for the both of us."
Grandma Meng smiled kindly and handed the bowl back to her. The bowl is tightly clasped in her little finger, she closed her eyes and chug the liquid inside without thinking twice.
"Then what about you young man?" Meng Po look up and see Ivan smiling.
"Sigh- these days the people coming here is getting younger and younger." She stirs the ladle inside the massive crackpot and scoop a ladleful of unknown liquid into a bowl.
"The lingering attachment is there, but you seemed to be letting it go already as well. Holding to a single string so tightly, what is it that you're holding onto?"
Meng Po handed the bowl to Ivan.
"I'm not sure. Maybe just a fleeting hope that he remembers me now?" Ivan looks at his reflection inside the dark liquid.
He was smiling. Painfully. Something akin to a grater was rubbed directly against his tender heart. Maybe it's his guts. Who knows if his monster like entity has a heart.
He handed his heart a long time ago and it never eventually come back to his cradle.
"So your decision? It's getting late." Meng Po brought another bowl, ready to scoop for another person.
Ivan is contemplating. He thought, if he drinks this now, his suffering would be over. He would be free from both his fate and his pain.
He should be able to drink now. Till has looked at him once. Like he wanted. What else is he holding onto?
The line visibly getting longer. The writhing creature with horns behind him grunted in annoyance as Ivan stand there in silence.
Meng Po hook the ladle into the side of the pot and reach out to take back the bowl in Ivan hands. She tugged once, and then another.
Ivan did not let go of the bowl.
"Look here young man, you have to decide now or never, holding the line is a crime punishable to be thrown down the river." Meng Po pointed to the dark river below. The heavy current splashes against the side of the narrow river. Sometimes a limb or two pokes out from inside. Still moving, struggling to grab onto the slippery river bank.
Ivan wavers. His eyes shook between his reflection in the bowl and the strong current below.
The whole world feels very big and overwhelming. Meng Po pestering, the worm like creature from behind, loud shouts from the line, and the guards coming in his direction—everything feels loud.
Bang!
Ivan snaps out of his trance. The loud surrounding quieten down together with the loud gunshot from somewhere.
He looks back with glittering eyes. He could feel sharp heartbeat from his hollow chest. The quiet heart that didn’t make a peep before once again felt alive. It’s his imagination of course, as it has since died together with the end of the music. His eyes that didn't have any light before now shining in the deep darkness, highlighting his wide smile.
A genuine smile from the bottom of his missing heart.
"Ma'am, my dearest is here. I must accompany him so he won't be lonely!" Ivan hurriedly shoves his bowl back to Meng Po's hand. He ran to the back of the line with a big smile on his face. Leaving Meng Po sighing with a melancholic smile on her face.
"Young people," She sighs while handing the bowl to the worm creature next in line. The creature grunt with a harsh sound. It sounded very much like an acquiescence.
-
"You're here."
Ivan leans against the side of the gate. His position’s precise, making sure he could see every person walking out of the gate, but the people walking out wouldn't be able to notice him right away.
"Did that mean I fail?" With a toothy grin he smiles. His hand reaching against the person in green.
"I'm sorry." Till rest his forehead against Ivan's broad shoulder. Letting Ivan hugs him close.
"I see Mizi," Till could feel Ivan's shoulder grew taught, "I'm sorry." He repeats.
Ivan stays quiet. His hand gently cradles Till in his embrace. Not warm anymore.
The lacking warmth spook Till a bit. The touches feel very close and intimate but he doesn't have the heart to walk away. Nor did he want to.
They embraced each other in the darkness of the underworld.
The underworld is still as dark as it is when Ivan first arrived but at this exact moment, the underworld feels brighter and warmer than the bright light from the fake sun in Anakt Garden and the bright spotlight shining on his very body.
Finally, he thought, everything is worth it.
He felt peaceful and free.
Extra:
“Did you cry when I died?” Ivan lets out a good-natured laugh. His voice echoing through the quiet surroundings.
“Of course I didn’t!” Till wipes his eyes discreetly while Ivan led him to the end of the long queue by hand.
“I can’t, I’m sorry.” His voice quiet. Only to be heard by two people. Ivan smile falters slightly but remains on his bright face.
“You can stop saying sorry now, you’re here to accompany me now, aren’t you?” Ivan let Till stand in front of him in the queue. Till looks back at Ivan with a regretful smile.
“Yeah,” his voice is drowned by the loud current but Ivan’s smile grew brighter than ever.