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Year 1
Kaveh spotted him in the House of Daena,, the junior from Haravatat with a reputation of being something of a loner yet a brilliant genius, focusing completely on the large textbook in his hand with similar texts stacked around him, acting as a barrier from the outside world. During his time at the Akademiya, the older boy had not yet encountered him. His own focus was on his studies, consisting of arts and architecture, and the group of classmates that were more of acquaintances than friends that often accompanied him. He had no interest in chasing around a younger student with a bad attitude and sharp tongue.
Looking at him now - Alhaitham, his mind supplied - Kaveh couldn’t help but wonder if the rumors were exaggerated or maybe even reaching to make the boy sound worse than he actually was, perhaps out of envy and resentment. He appeared to be soft and content, not some snotty, bratty know it all.
Surely, the entire Akadeymia would be wrong, right?
Alhaitham looked up from his book and met Kaveh's gaze, causing a shiver to run through him as he stared into those piercing teal eyes. He smiled and waved at his junior, trying to appear friendly despite being seen openly observing him.
The gray-haired boy flushed pink and puffed his cheeks out before practically diving headfirst back into his book, lifting the object to obscure himself from Kaveh's view.
Cute.
Figuring since he'd already been detected, it would be better to go and introduce himself to the younger boy. Adjusting the cap over his head firmly, Kaveh moved through the endless bookshelves and tables, crossing the large room to stand in front of Alhaitham. The boy continued to ignore him - pressing his face further into the book as if that would make Kaveh disappear.
Kaveh snickered into his hand, tilting his head in curiosity to see exactly what the junior had been so immersed in "Enumerative Combinatorics, Volume 1" He read aloud with a hum. "Interesting choice of literature for someone your age."
Alhaitham glanced at him before turning back the hardback, brows furrowing "It's a basic introduction to enumerative combinatorics that concentrates on the theory and application of generating functions. Anyone with a brain would have no issues reading through this."
Kaveh's brows rose at the comment from the boy, his lips twitching in amusement. "That may be true." He pondered his next thought for a moment before joining Alhaitham at the table, ignoring the way the boy's eyes widened at the action "I'm quite skilled at mathematics myself, would you like to tell me more about it?"
Alhiatham's grip on the book tightened, on guard and skeptical of Kaveh's intentions like no one had ever asked to join him before. Like Kaveh was the first to do so. "Why?"
"Well...why not? I'm curious and you appear to be very well knowledgeable on the subject, so tell me." Kaveh propped his chin up onto the palm of his hand, looking at Alhaitham expectantly as if to say 'Go on.'
Alhaitham's eyes never waver from him before he goes on to explain the section he was currently reading, elucidating each topic regarding sieve methods, partially ordered sets, and rational generating functions - all things Kaveh had no earthly idea about. He had been truthful when he said he was skilled at mathematics and had enough comprehension to make it through the entire oration. Still, he sat quietly and listened, enjoying the sound of the younger boy’s soft spoken voice.
Alhaitham was something else.
Year 2
It’s unbearably humid outside that day. The type that made one’s clothing stick to their skin uncomfortably from the sweat that built up due to the heat of Sumeru’s tropical temperature.
Alhaitham wondered why Kaveh chose this particular spot for the both of them to study. Both students had found a secluded hill far enough away from the Akadeymia to allow themselves to go over their school work in blissful peace while still being close enough that if there was any danger, they could easily get back into the city.
The junior admitted (to himself, he learned early on that his senior’s ego was easily inflated) that picking such a spot was a good idea. He should know better than to question Kaveh after a year of friendship; the same way he hadn’t questioned when the senior grabbed his wrist and dragged him away from the House of Daena and away from the Akadeymia only an hour ago.
“We need a change of scenery, Haitham! If I have to study in that big dreary library for another second I’ll die of boredom.”
Alhaitham had only two things running through his head at that moment “Why me?” And “So dramatic.”
Kaveh hadn’t given him room to counter with reasons why studying inside was more beneficial. There were plenty that he could think of at the top of his head - number one would be protection from the weather. But, Kaveh’s excitement and joy were infectious, the sound of his happy yappering and the sight of his smile had something delightfully strange curl inside of Alhaitham. He chalked it up to being the strange pastry he had for breakfast that morning.
So he was sitting crisscross on top of a lone grassy hill with his friend by his side. Kaveh was happily lying on his stomach, his face propped up on the palm of his hand as his pencil traced across his sketchbook. Alhaitham peeked over from his textbook from time to time, silently admiring the way the sun bounced off Kaveh’s golden hair that was slowly unraveling out of his braid. Unable to help himself, he immediately thought of how pretty his senior looked at that moment.
Silly. He chastised himself, burying his face into his book. Stop thinking such thoughts about your friend.
Kaveh’s deep, relaxed sigh broke Alhaitham from his book causing teal eyes to stray over to his senior who was stretching like a cat. “Wasn’t this a great idea, Haitham? Told you that you’d love it out here.”
“I have given no indications that I am enjoying myself, Senior Kaveh.” Alhaitham muttered, flipping through his book as if he were truly reading it.
No, you were too busy being distracted by -
“Your silence is more than enough reason to think that you’re loving this. Come on,” Kaveh sat up with a smile, reaching over to poke Alhaitham’s cheek. “Admit it.”
Alhaitham’s deadpan expression didn’t change, save for the subtle twitch of his lips. “Don't you have some sketches to finish up. We came out here to do school work if you recall.”
“Oh I remember, doesn’t mean we can’t-” Kaveh’s voice trailed off as something caught his eye across Alhaitham’s shoulder. “Oh my god.”
Alhaitham raised a brow at Kaveh’s blasphemous language, ready to scold him for using the archon’s name in such a way only for the senior to jump to his feet and run past him. Alhaitham whirled around to follow Kaveh, wondering where the other boy was off to. He tilted his head when Kaveh stopped in front of a patch of flowers growing just beyond their study spot.
Blond hair blew in the wind as Kaveh turned his head and waved Alhaitham over eagerly. “Haitham! Come here!”
He’s slow to rise to his feet, feeling his chest constrict at the pure unadulterated excitement on Kaveh’s face. He made his way over to Kaveh, standing beside him and looking down at the patch of flowers. “What is it?” He asked, his voice soft and curious.
Kaveh grinned and pointed to the center of the patch, where a cluster of crimson flowers were blooming. “It’s a mourning flower. I’ve never seen one this far from the desert before, have you?”
He hadn’t. Botany wasn’t his specialty and though he’s sure he’s read about Mourning flowers somewhere in his studies, but hadn’t paid much attention to it. Suddenly, after seeing the way Kaveh looked at the flora, he wished he had. Alhaitham shook his head, marveling at the delicate beauty of the drooping flower. “It’s beautiful.” He said, his voice barely above a whisper.
His senior took his hand and dragged them closer to the cluster. Kaveh plopped back down onto the soft grass, gesturing for Alhaitham to sit across from him. The younger dutifully obeyed and followed suit. “You know,” Kaveh began, his expression turning into one of melancholy, “The last time I saw mourning flowers was during my father’s funeral. They remind me of him, somewhat. Isn’t that silly?”
Alhaitham could feel his heart sink at the mention of Kaveh’s father. It was clear that he still missed him dearly. He wasn’t good with words, not really, but he figured in situations like this, Kaveh didn’t need to hear him say anything. Instead he tentatively reached out and took Kaveh’s hand, “Will you tell me about him?”
Kaveh smiled sadly at the gesture, squeezing Alhaitham’s hand in return. “He was a great man,” he began, his voice tinged with nostalgia. “Kind and wise, always ready with a joke or a funny story. He was a great listener, always there for me, no matter what.”
Kaveh paused, his gaze lingering on the flowers. “No one was more passionate about the things he believed in, and he encouraged me to be the same. He was the kind of person who always looked out for others, always willing to lend a helping hand. He was…the best person in the world, and I miss him every day.”
Alhaitham nodded slowly, feeling a bit out of his depth. He wanted to say something comforting, but the right words just wouldn’t come. Instead, he tightened his grip on Kaveh’s hand, hoping the gesture would speak for him. “I... I’m sorry,” he finally managed, his voice quiet and sincere. “He sounds…incredible.”
Just like you.
“Thanks.” Kaveh bit back the clump of emotion that caught in his throat. “He and my mother loved each other so much and weren’t afraid to show it either.”
Alhaitham sat there listening as Kaveh delved into a story about his childhood and the love he was surrounded by. “I caught them dancing in the kitchen one night, I should have been sleeping but I’d been restless.” Kaveh chuckled, “Even as a kid I had a knack for getting into trouble, but Haitham, I wish you could have seen the way they looked at each other. I’ve never…I’ve never seen love in its most raw form. It was something straight out of a story book.”
Now there was a foreign concept to Alhaitham. Love wasn’t something he had experience in - at least not romantic love. His parents had passed long before he was old enough to witness what their marriage was like and his grandmother had only offered him familial love.
Alhaitham was quiet for a moment, taking in what Kaveh had said. He couldn’t help but feel envy towards the other boy, for having experienced something so sacred, so intimate. He cleared his throat, “I’m sorry, I’ve never seen love like that before.” He said softly, “but it sounds beautiful.” He paused, “Have…have you ever been in love?”
A bubbling laugh escaped Kaveh’s lips and for a moment Alhaitham felt foolish for even asking such a question. “Love? No. Sure I’ve kissed people before but it’s never led to anything. I’m too young to be in love, Haitham.”
Kissed people?
The twinge of envy in him grew a hair more at the mention of Kaveh kissing other people. It was a painful reminder of the age difference between them. Two years shouldn’t feel like a lifetime but it does and Alhaitham hated it. Kaveh had experience with these things while he…
Why did it matter in the first place? It wasn’t like he needed skills in these matters like Kaveh did.
But.
But.
What if he wanted to learn? Would that be a ludacris notion? To simply learn something as mundane as kissing in case there was a minuscule chance that he ever…fell in love?
“I see.” He said, a little too quickly. He tried to cover it up by continuing, “I mean, it’s understandable. I’m sure you’ll find someone you love one day.”
Kaveh pursed his lips in thought then shrugged “Maybe.” He then turned to Alhaitham inquisitively. “And you? Have you ever been in love? It’s only fair that you answer since you asked me.”
Alhaitham could feel his ears burn in embarrassment; surely Kaveh knew he’d never been in love. He didn’t exactly have the best reputation around the Akedeymia. There weren’t girls or boys for that matter who approached him confessing their affections for him. He shook his head. “No. Never. I’ve…never been with anyone like that. I haven’t…” He averted his gaze “I haven’t even had my first kiss.”
“Really?”
“Don’t sound so surprised. You…you know me.”
He chuckled lightly, trying to lighten the mood. “Well, that’s not a bad thing. You’re still young, and there’s plenty of time to experience all the firsts.” He gave Alhaitham a reassuring smile. “It’ll happen when you least expect it.”
“What is it like?” Alhaitham blurted before he could stop himself. “Kissing, I mean.”
The junior felt his cheeks heat up as he asked the question, but he was curious. He had never kissed someone before and was…eager to learn more.
"It depends on who you're kissing," Kaveh replied with a shrug of his shoulders, "It can be gentle and sweet, or passionate and intense. A quick peck or a long, lingering embrace. But whatever it is, it's usually a pretty special moment."
To his own humiliation, Alhaitham was able to picture it clearly; his hands cupping Kaveh’s face as their lips met for the first time. What would it feel like to let Kaveh so, so close like that? To breathe in the same air as him and get the chance to taste him. His imagination left him feeling completely tilted on his axis. "Ah, okay," Alhaitham said, nodding slowly. He was still blushing, but he was determined to push through it. "So, what do you do, then? How do you make it special?" He asked, trying to focus on the conversation and not on the image that was still floating around in his head.
Kaveh smiled knowingly, leaning closer, a blush high on his own cheeks. “Well, it probably helps sharing a kiss with someone you like.” Carmine eyes met teal curiously “Yeah. It’s gotta be someone you like…a lot.”
Alhaitham felt his breath hitch, “What else?”
The senior laughed softly, “Why is my junior asking me to show him how to kiss?”
“And if I am?” Alhaitham responded simply. “You’re my friend aren’t you? There’s no one else I’d trust with this. I’m not fond of people but you…” His hard expression settled into something soft. “You’re always the exception, Kaveh. Show me how to kiss.”
Kaveh smiled at Alhaitham's words, his heart warming at the sentiment. He reached out to brush a stray hair from Alhaitham's face, his fingers lingering on the younger boy's skin. "If you want me to show you, then I will," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. He leaned in closer, his lips ghosting over Alhaitham's as he spoke. "It's all about the feeling," he murmured, his breath tickling the younger boy's lips. "It's not just about the physical act, but how you feel when you're doing it. It should be special, something that you both enjoy and savor." He paused for a moment, his lips still close to Alhaitham's. "Do you understand?" he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper.
Alhaitham's throat constricted as he fought against the thick silence that had descended between them. He could only bring himself to whisper a meek, "Yes."
Kaveh smiled, his heart swelling with emotion as he felt Alhaitham's response. He leaned in, pressing his lips to the younger boy's in a gentle kiss. His hand moved to cup Alhaitham's face, his thumb brushing over the other boy's cheek as he deepened the kiss.
It’s nothing and everything Alhaitham expects. Kissing Kaveh is like being enveloped in a warm embrace, the sensation of his lips on Alhaitham's was unlike anything he’s ever experienced. He closed his eyes, savoring the moment as their lips moved together in perfect harmony.
When the kiss finally ended, Alhaitham opened his eyes to find Kaveh mouth pulled into a grin, cheeks a lovely shade of pink. He felt his own face flush in embarrassment, but couldn't help the small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. He had never felt so alive and he was sure that no matter what happened from here on out, he would never forget the feeling of Kaveh's lips on his own and their moment on the lone hill.
Year 3
The change in their relationship was palpable after that day on the hill, and it was obvious to both of them that something had shifted. It was subtle - unseen by anyone who didn’t know what their friendship was like. Neither boy brought up the kiss, choosing to keep it a beloved secret between them.
Kaveh continued to join him for study sessions, the two finding solace at a lone table at the back of the House of Daena. The senior wasn’t afraid of touching Alhaitham now, his fingers lingering on his wrist or shoulder for a second longer than necessary. He found himself looking forward to these moments, craving Kaveh’s presence more than ever.
Alhaitham thought it all to be strange, these foreign feelings that threatened to overcome him. He’d never experienced anything like this before and was unsure of how to handle it. Romance wasn’t his forte and now that he was another year older, more in tune with himself, Alhaitham wondered what it all meant. Was it merely puppy love for his senior or had it turned into something more?
He wasn’t sure and he found himself growing more and more confused each day. He was scared to ask Kaveh about it, scared of what the answer might be, so instead he kept it all bottled up inside, letting it fester and grow. To his own surprise he caught himself looking at Kaveh differently, noticing the small things about him that he hadn’t before. His laugh, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the way his lips moved when he spoke. All of it made Alhaitham’s heart flutter and his stomach clench uncomfortably.
It was all so perplexing and overwhelming, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he was drawn to Kaveh like a moth to a flame. He wanted to get closer to him, to understand him better, but he was afraid of what might happen if he did. Kaveh had been his first real friend, and he was determined not to let his emotions get in the way of their friendship.
For now, he was content with how things were and would savor the feeling of Kaveh’s touch and the way his eyes lit up when they were together.
It was all he needed.
The day had been long and filled with classes. Alhaitham found himself in his dorm room, book in hand to help decompress from the taxing afternoon he had. Another day of sitting through courses that aided him in no way. Surely, his professors were aware that he hardly paid attention to what was being taught. That material they’d gone through had long been engraved in Alhaitham’s mind. And yet, he had been forced to fight tooth and nail to make them understand that their classes were a waste of everyone's time.
He was so absorbed in his book, eagerly taking in the new information, that he was startled by a knock at his door that broke his concentration. He hardly had a chance to set his book down when the door swung open revealing a beaming Kaveh.
“Haitham!” Kaveh practically skipped towards the bed, jumping onto the mattress and sitting closely to Alhaitham. “Guess what!”
Alhaitham glanced at him from the corner of his eye, biting back the blush that threatened to cover his cheeks due to their close proximity. “What is it?” He asked, trying to sound nonchalant.
Kaveh huffed and leaned in closer, looking at him from over the pages of his book. “Why do I bother asking you to guess things when you always are quick to ask for the answer?”
The junior’s lips twitched. “You still haven’t learned, Senior. You ask the same question and get the same response. Now do you have news to share or can I return to my book?”
Kaveh snatched the book from his hand with a grin, his excitement evident. “Of course I have news to share with you!” The blond was practically vibrating in place, “Yours truly, was asked to join an architectural expedition to the desert for the next week. Can you believe it?”
Alhaitham's gaze was fixed on Kaveh, his mind filled with a mix of emotions. While it was thrilling that Kaveh was now being offered such an opportunity, Alhaitham couldn't help but feel a sense of trepidation. He was aware of Kaveh's fear of the desert and the tragedy that had befallen his father years ago. So why had he made the decision to accept the offer?
“Kaveh…” Alhaitham said cautiously, “Are you-”
Kaveh waved a hand to stop him from speaking, “I know what you’re going to say and I get it,” he said, “But I think this is something I need to do. I need to face my fears and prove to myself that I can do this.” He paused, then added, “Plus, I’m sure I’ll learn a lot from this experience. How can I be Sumeru’s greatest architect if I hold myself back?”
He supposed there was no arguing that logic. Aside from that, Alhaitham hadn’t wanted to ruin Kaveh’s mood. It was an exciting thing to happen and he was happy for this friend.
“Well then…this is certainly not an opportunity I expected to be offered to you any time soon, so, congratulations.” He said, moving to take his book back and flipped back to the page he’d left off on.
It was quiet, too quiet for being in the same room as Kaveh. Looking back up he immediately noticed that something was wrong. Kaveh had his lip between his teeth, eyes cast downwards and expression twisted into something akin to hurt. He seemed so lost in his own thoughts, it was almost as if he was in a different world altogether.
Alhaitham’s brows furrowed together in concern. “What’s wrong?” He asked.
Kaveh snapped out of his thoughts and plastered on a too tight smile. “Nothing, sorry. Just got lost in thought.” He shuffled to sit closer by Alhaitham’s side, laying his head on his shoulder. “You better not miss me while I’m gone.”
Alhaitham snorted, turning his head to look at him with a small smirk on his face. “Miss you? In your dreams, Senior.”
Kaveh had been on his expedition for three days before Alhaitham began to recognize the void that his absence had left in his life. There seemed to be a Kaveh sized hole in his daily endeavors, he felt as if the sun had suddenly disappeared and left him with only darkness. While the senior was gone, there was no one to study with, no one pestering him to put his book down ‘please eat something with substance Haitham!”, no blond sneaking into his dorm while his roommate is away to eat candied peaches while they delve deep into their school work. All of this left Alhaitham with a single question:
When had Kaveh engraved himself so deeply into Alhaitham’s life?
It only furthered his confusion on just what was happening between them and his questions would soon need to be answered.
What was Kaveh to Alhaitham?
Kaveh was due to return from his expedition in two days and Alhaitham, to his own chagrin, was anxious with each minute having to wait to see the senior again. This off putting feeling was beginning to annoy him and he couldn't help but be frustrated by its lingering presence. How much longer would he have to endure this unwelcome emotion? It was just Kaveh.
But that was the problem wasn’t it?
He’d been walking through the hallways of the Akedeymia, soundproof headphones on, and an indifferent expression on his face when he noticed many students all gathering towards the front doors of the school, soon growing into a decently sized crowd. Normally, he wouldn’t pay much attention to such things but a small voice in his head whispered that he needed to stay, to watch. So he turned off his headphones, curiously listening in to what fellow students were whispering amongst one another. With each conversation he eavesdropped into, a pit of dread began to build within him.
“I heard it was a scorpion attack”
“Poor kid didn’t stand a chance.”
‘Isn’t that the student from Kshahrewar?”
“What was his name again?”
“Kaveh?”
Alhaitham doesn’t feel his feet move nor does he realize that he’s pushing through the crowd until he’s in the middle of it watching as several older students come in carrying Kaveh’s unconscious body.
His heart nearly gave out as he took in Kaveh’s pale face and the blood that blossomed across his chest. Never before had he seen Kaveh, his Kaveh, look so weak, so fragile. The sight nearly made him sick. The older students order the crowd to back away, to give them room so Kaveh could be escorted to the Akedeymia’s infirmary.
Alhaitham stared, frozen in place until the small speck of gold disappeared around the corner.
It takes a while for the disturbance to settle, many students stood outside the door to the infirmary wanting to catch a glimpse of their fellow classmate. They were soon run off by the healers and eventually gave up.
Alhaitham visits during the night, long after the rest of the Akedeymia’s students and healers had gone to bed. Kaveh is alone in his temporary room, sleeping peacefully, chest rising and falling with each breath, sending relief through Alhaitham’s chest. He was alive at least. Good. That was good.
"You idiot," he murmured. "I know you only got hurt because you played hero.” Alhaitham shook his head in disbelief as he took a seat next to Kaveh's bed, taking in the sight of his bandaged body and still pale face. Despite the circumstances, Kaveh still looked absolutely beautiful. He sighed and reached for Kaveh’s hand, bringing it up to his lips, “What am I going to do with you?”
He gets no response but that’s okay.
Tenderly, he placed a kiss onto Kaveh’s knuckles and Alhaitham reconsiders all his questions on whether or not what he feels for his senior was just a crush.
Year 4
Another year passed and their friendship flourished and grew stronger.
After the accident, Kaveh doesn’t return to the desert for a long while and takes up lessons on how to wield a claymore. “I never want to feel useless like that again.” He said to Alhaitham one day long after he healed from his wounds. “I need to defend myself if I plan on going on more expeditions even if the claymore is a bitch to use.”
Alhaitham couldn’t fight or argue with Kaveh, in fact, he mastered the art of using a sword himself after the accident. He never said it out loud, but seeing Kaveh bloodied and unconscious set off a surge of protectiveness inside of him. Kaveh would never get hurt in such a way again, not if he could help it.
Seasons changed and both Kaveh and Alhaitham grew and soon a new school year began. It’s been nearly a month since Alhaitham had heard from his friend; the weekly letters he received at the beginning of their break suddenly ceased. He had no time to seek Kaveh out and find out if anything happened to him, not with his Grandmother ill and courses starting up so soon.
So he waits patiently to hear from Kaveh again.
It doesn’t happen until the end of the first week of school. Alhaitham had searched for Kaveh all throughout the Akadeymia, going to all of their spots even trekking up to the lone hill where they shared their first kiss. Kaveh was nowhere to be found.
When Kaveh eventually does appear, all those days later outside one of Alhaitham’s classrooms, there’s something different about him; an aura of sadness formed around him like a stormy cloud.
“Kaveh,” he greeted, parting away from the sea of classmates to stand in front of his senior.
“Haitham.” Kaveh’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes and Alhaitham feels his chest ache. “I’ve missed you.”
Alhaitham eyed him carefully and nodded his head, “I did as well.” He tilted his head in question, “Where have you been?”
Kaveh shrugged before wrapping his hand around Alhaitham’s arm, deliberately ignoring his question, “Come on, I want to hear all about what you did during break. Your letters were so dry.”
Alhaitham knew Kaveh was hiding something, he could see from the way that his senior’s shoulders hunched in, the furrow in his brow and the strained smile on his face but refrained from questioning him. He’d wait for Kaveh to be ready to explain, whenever that would be. “I thought you liked my letters?”
He was met with a very unflattering snort, “You know I do but would it kill you to be a little more passionate!”
It was Alhaitham’s turn to snort derisively, “Passionate? Sometimes I wonder if you truly know me at all.”
Kaveh's ruby red eyes glinted as he gave the other man a knowing smile, "Oh, I think I know you well enough, Haitham."
There are good days and there are bad days for Kaveh, Alhaitham noticed. Sometimes he’s on a high, happier than ever and full of joy, other times, he’s sullen, lost in thought and requires Alhaitham to lean on (figuratively and literally) when hit with those sudden spells.
Alhaitham takes it all in stride, pretending to be oblivious to it all but offers his shoulder regardless without a single word.
One night, after one of Kaveh’s bad days, Alhaitham lay in bed feeling restless. He hated seeing his senior like this, so unlike himself. He wanted to help, wanted to make Kaveh return to normal but really, he had no idea how to. Never before had he felt so useless.
A soft knock on his dorm door has him sitting up in bed. The hour was late and with his roommate out for the night, he hadn’t been expecting anyone. Except, he’s able to recognize the familiar rasp of knuckles against wood. Soon, a pajama-clad Kaveh is stepping into his room, eyes cast down and hand squeezing the door handle.
Alhaitham waited - ever the patient friend knowing that Kaveh wasn’t just showing up for no reason. It takes a moment, a belated breath, then Kaveh is looking at him again, face unsure and eyes glimmering with sadness, “Is this…is this okay?” He asked quietly.
Can I stay? Please. Was left unsaid.
The junior says nothing, merely scooting closer against the wall and lifting the covers in silent invitation. Kaveh quickly shut the bedroom door, padding across the wooden floor and slid underneath the blankets, curling up against Alhaitham’s side.
Alhaitham tentatively wrapped his arms around his senior, holding him close while a charged silence grew between them. He remained silent, knowing it was only a matter of time before the other boy was speaking. Fingertips ran up and down Kaveh’s arm gently, reassuring him that Alhaitham was there.
Kaveh inhaled shakily, his fingers twisted into Alhaitham’s sleep shirt, “My mother remarried over break.”
Alhaitham’s fingers froze and his eyes fell down on Kaveh who had his head ducked into his chest. “Oh.” He murmured.
“She-she didn’t even tell me until the day before, we’d traveled to Fontaine but I thought it was for a vacation! In reality, it was for her wedding.” Kaveh sneered angrily, his voice coming out wet, “How could she not tell me? Her son. I wasn’t even aware she’d met someone.” He sniffled, “To make matters worse, I wasn’t welcome to stay, she and her new husband had paid for a caravan to return me to Sumeru as soon as the wedding was over. I hardly got to say goodbye.”
Alhaitham laid there, unable to muster up the words to comfort Kaveh. What could he say? ‘Sorry your mother abandoned you for a new family?’ He may be awful with words but Alhaitham knew that was the worst thing he could say, even if it was the truth.
Alhaitham was sorry Kaveh’s mother had done that to him. It tore at his heart seeing how distressed and upset his senior was due to the whole thing.
“Now…I’m living in a home that feels much too big without anyone who cares for me. I know I’m eighteen but she just…left.” Kaveh continued, “Why? Why does everyone leave me? Was I that horrible of a son that it was so easy for her to….” He trailed off before sitting up and wiping his eyes hotly.
Alhaitham stared at him with wide eyes watching as Kaveh steeled himself, determination settling over his face, “It doesn’t matter anyway.” He exhaled deeply, carmine eyes looking so, so fierce, “I’ll do better - I will. I’ll achieve great things, accomplish my dreams and let those who left me behind know that regardless of their presence or not - my life had meaning.”
The junior sat up as well, carefully lifting a hand up to wipe the lingering tears in Kaveh’s cheeks, “Kaveh.” He muttered gently, “Why waste your time trying to prove something to people whose validity doesn't matter?”
Kaveh stared and stared and stared, eyes still glistening with tears. Knowing it was his only window, Alhaitham continued, “A mother who abandons her child has no validity in her words. You will be great - that is wholefully true - but you owe her nothing. She deserves not a thing from you. That right was lost to her the moment she put you on that caravan”
Alhaitham is so sure of his words, they were the absolute truth. Kaveh is going to do amazing things but if Alhaitham has anything to do with it, it won’t be at the expense of proving anything to anyone - there is no need to please those who don’t matter at all.
Kaveh didn’t say a word to that, his gaze held an unreadable emotion on it before he was slumping back down into Alhaitham’s chest with a quiet, “Let’s just go to sleep.”
Confused and a little shocked, Alhaitham followed suit. Had he said something wrong? He was simply offering Kaveh advice, he didn’t mean to intentionally hurt his feelings in any way. There’s no chance for him to ask questions because Kaveh had already shut his eyes, hiding his face into Alhaitham’s neck.
A sickening feeling bubbled up inside of Alhaitham that night. It was as if his relationship with Kaveh, a once strong string held together on years of friendship, was beginning to strain.
That night, Alhaitham held Kaveh closer than ever before, fearing that it might be the last time he’d be able to.
Year 5
Alhaitham's quill scribbled against the parchment he was writing notes on, breaking the silence that filled the House of Daena. He had been there for hours already, preparing for the upcoming exams as the end of his fifth year of schooling was close to coming to an end. Not that he necessarily needed to study, but it was fun to test himself.
Somehow, five years had gone by quickly and soon Alhaitham would be preparing his grand thesis to present and be reviewed, hopefully leading to his graduation.
First and foremost, he needed to pass...
A hand slammed down onto his table, causing him to glance up from his work and meet familiar carmine eyes. Alhaitham schooled his face, hoping the surprise wasn't evident to the other boy. Of all people to approach him here, Kaveh was the last person he expected.
Things had been...strange between the two friends. Since the night Kaveh slept in Alhaitham's bed, there had been a distance that began to grow exponentially, leaving Alhaitham on what felt like one side of the world while Kaveh was on the other. Their study sessions were near non-existent now; Kaveh approached him much less often during their free time, and Alhaitham's sheets no longer smelled of zaytun peaches.
Alhaitham never figured out what he said or did to push Kaveh away, but he never brought it up; never demanded that Kaveh tell him how to fix things, to make everything go back to the way they were.
He simply let things die.
His chest ached with the knowledge that he had given up so easily.
Now, Alhaitham met Kaveh's gaze with a cocked brow and an impassive expression. "Kaveh," he said.
"Haitham," Kaveh greeted, with that all too familiar nickname.
He refrained from flinching after hearing it.
"How can I help you, Senior?" He asked before going back to studying, which suddenly felt a little harder to do. Unable to help himself, he glanced back up at Kaveh and saw the glint in his senior's eyes that made dread fill Alhaitham. He wasn't going to like what Kaveh was about to say.
Seeing the grimace on the junior's face, Kaveh laughed, beautiful and lovely, filling Alhaitham with warmth that he hadn't felt in a while. "Don't look so terrified, Haitham. Relax," Kaveh grinned and folded his arms on the table and leaned forward. "I have a proposal for you."
Alhaitham raised a brow, interest peaked, “What kind of proposal?”
“Welllll.” Kaveh dragged the word out, his finger tapping nervously on top of the table, “I know you’re planning on starting your thesis pretty soon and I know you haven’t picked a topic yet, so how would you like to work on one with me? And a few others of course.” He quickly added in with a smile. “Our research will be conducted regarding ancient structures, ancient runes, and linguistics. It’s right up your alley!”
“No.” Alhaitham flatly stated then returned to his work.
He didn’t have to look at Kaveh to know he was pouting in the way that always made Alhaitham cave in so, so quickly. “Come on, Haitham! It’ll be fun! We can research together, go on expeditions, the whole nine yards!”
That all did sound appealing, especially with Kaveh, but it wouldn’t be just them - there were others a part of this thesis; people Alhaitham would hate to work with. He would save everyone the trouble by declining.
“The answer is still no, senior.”
Kaveh huffed and grew, terrifyingly, silent. Alhaitham tried to focus on the paper in front of him, but with Kaveh’s intense stare on him, it was nearly impossible. “Fine.” Kaveh said, “What if I let you pick the topic? It can be anything you want.”
“You must really want me to say yes.” Alhaitham droned out, peeking up from beneath his lashes, “Why?”
Kaveh hesitated, his cheeks heating up timidly, “I -” He sighed in defeat, “Besides the fact that we’d write something incredible and possibly revolutionary…I miss you.” He averted his gaze. “There, I said it. And you better not tease me for admitting that!”
Alhaitham sat there shocked by his senior for the second time that day. “Kaveh…”
“I know it’s my fault and that I haven’t been a good friend, but I -” He groaned and ran a hand down his face, “Just…think about it, okay? I’d love it if we got to work together on this, Haitham.”
Alhaitham felt his resolve falter at the sight of the annoyingly beautiful pleading look on Kaveh’s face. Normally he wasn’t swayed by such things; his senior could be so frustrating.
With a deep sigh, Alhaitham set his quill down and crossed his arms, he’ll pretend he didn’t see the way Kaveh’s gaze flickered down to his arms, “Fine.”
Kaveh's eyes lit up with excitement as he exclaimed, "Wait, really?" He leaned forward eagerly, barely able to contain his enthusiasm, "You're actually agreeing?!"
Alhaitham nodded once, “Yes.”
Kaveh was up and out of his seat faster than Alhaitham could comprehend and was soon wrapping his arms around his neck, bringing him into a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
“I’m still choosing the topic.” Alhaitham wound his arms around Kaveh’s waist, holding him closer.
“Yes, yes, of course.” Kaveh said into his neck, the pins in his hair brushing against Alhaitham’s cheek.
“And I’m not picking up anyone’s slack - we carry our own weight with this thesis.”
Kaveh pulled back slightly to roll his eyes at him, “I got it, Haitham. We’ll all do our part.” He swore, smiling in a way that made Alhaitham feel like he was just punched in the gut.
Sighing once more, Alhaitham reluctantly removed his hands from Kaveh, ignoring the slight pout of his lips, “Good.”
He hoped that his decision wouldn't become something he would regret.
Alhaitham does choose the topic for their thesis: Decoding the Runes and Architectural Philosophy of the Ruins of King Deshret's Civilization.
He couldn't help the sense of satisfaction when Kaveh heaved an eye roll and reluctantly agreed to his suggestion. It was his idea to let Alhaitham make such a decision after all, he’d have to live with the choices he’s made.
Their group was a lively bunch that consisted of 5 other students, all from different Darshans with names that Alhaitham didn’t bother learning. They were loud, enthusiastic about their projects, and talked nonstop.
Alhaitham was already regretting this.
But, they all got along with Kaveh, their eyes shining with admiration every time the Light of Kshahrewar spoke. While on the other hand, his peers regarded him warily, as if he were a rabid animal ready to strike when provoked. Their strange speculations of him hardly made Alhaitham bat an eye; the opinions of others rarely mattered to him.
Tasks were separated between the 7 of them and an expedition into the Sumeru Desert was set to happen in just a few short days where they’d study and analyze the ruins around King Deshret’s Mausoleum.
“Oh.” Kaveh had said quietly when the news was given, looking much paler than usual.
Alhaitham’s fingers twitched to reach out and touch Kaveh - wanting to provide comfort instead, he kept his hands firmly by his side. For both of their sakes, it would be best if they didn’t touch.
It takes some coaxing or in Alhaitham’s case, challenging his senior with a quirk of his brow that made the older boy bristle, to get Kaveh out into the desert but eventually, their entire group was trekking through the unforgiving sun and endless hills of sand.
Kaveh remained close by his side through their journey, whether it was out of fear or simply wanting to be closer to Alhaitham, he wasn’t entirely sure. Regardless, Alhaitham made sure their shoulders brushed with each step, reminding the blond that he was there.
Unfortunately, that would be the last peaceful moment between them for the remainder of that trip.
Alhaitham’s hand tightened around the quill in hand as he attempted to study the rune in front of him. Instead, he was entirely too focused on his project partners that were scattered throughout the temple.
One was simply slumped back against a pillar, mindless scribbling across his parchment pretending to take notes, another appeared to be annoyingly confused, huffing and puffing with each text she was unable to decipher, there was one at the far end of the temple mindlessly poking at a scarab idling across the broken floor.
It was easy to overlook those things for Alhaitham, not everyone was like him; they couldn’t simply look at an ancient text and have it all figured out right away but nothing grated his nerves more than what he was currently watching.
“Kaveh, I tried making out this text but I can’t seem to read it,” One of the mousey brown haired girls said with a slightly nervous laugh as she held a tablet out to Kaveh.
Alhaitham’s eyes narrowed seeing the problem immediately. The senior smiled reassuringly and swiped his hand across the tablet, removing the dust covering the surface, “There! That should help!” He said brightly and moved to hand back the item only for the girl to hold a hand out,
“Um.” She fiddled with her fingers, “Do you think you could translate it for me? I’m not that great at deciphering things like this.” The admission has Alhaitham’s jaw clenching near painfully as he bit his tongue to keep from demanding,
Why are you even here?
He watched angrily as Kaveh heartily agreed - not once seeing the problem he was creating. It continues on and on and on, each one of their project ‘partners’ coming to Kaveh to solve a mediocre problem that he ends up completing himself. It began to drive Alhaitham mad especially when Kaveh himself was getting behind on his own work.
“Thank you Kaveh! You’re a lifesaver!”
Alhaitham glared at their fellow project partner who scurried away with the notebook full of Kaveh’s writing in it. Kaveh smiled “Of course! Hope I helped!”
The junior studied the older boy taking in the bags under his eyes and slumped shoulders. Kaveh was over exerting himself. All for the sake of these useless, lazy….
That was it.
“You’re coddling them.” He said once the student was out of earshot.
Kaveh turned to him and tilted his head in confusion, “Hmm? What do you mean?”
“Do you not realize that they’re using you? You’re doing all of their work as well as your own.”
Kaveh rolled his eyes and placed his hand on his hips, “That’s not what this is. I’m being a good project partner, not that you’d know anything about that.” He quipped back.
“Oh? How should I be a good project partner then? Should I do all their work? Maybe let them take all the credit while I’m at it?”
Kaveh huffed, annoyance evident on his face, “No. You should be supportive and help each other out. That’s what a good project partner does.”
Alhaitham crossed his arms and looked away, “I’m not supporting them if I’m doing all their work. And neither are you for that matter.
“I’m just trying to help!” Kaveh protested, lips curling into a scowl, “Everyone deserves help, deserves a chance to uncover knowledge at their own pace - not everyone is a renowned genius.” He spat the word out genius. Suddenly it feels like they were arguing around and around each other. The thinly lined temper that Alhaitham usually tried to maintain was quickly deplenishing. From the corner of his eye he could see the rest of their project partners watching them warily.
“The Akedeymia isn’t some charity.” Alhaitham met Kaveh’s gaze with a harsh glare, “work must be put in to get the desired result, if someone cannot handle that, then they shouldn’t be apart.”
“How can you be so heartless?” Kaveh demanded.
“Being realistic is not associated with heartlessness.” Alhaitham replied simply, finally, finally returning his gaze to his work, “You should look at life more realistically, sooner or later, that idealistic mindset will rear its ugly head and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”
There are no other words from Kaveh and Alhaitham doesn’t bring his head up to see the look of hurt on the other’s face. Instead, the senior’s footsteps grew more distant leaving him alone in his own solitude.
The thread between them, it seemed, was one yank away from tearing.
Kaveh refused to speak with Alhaitham for the rest of the expedition and Alhaitham returned the favor. There was a strong tension between them once they returned to the Akedeymia that grew tenfold once their project partners began to drop from their group one by one. It didn’t help that each person that left brought up another argument between the two students.
With their fighting, never ending arguments, and animosity between them, Alhaitham should have known that the end was coming sooner than later.
He just hated that it happened where everything started.
Inside the House Daena, Alhaitham was situated at one of the more public tables, books and papers stacked around him for yet another study session with their…group. Though their numbers dwindling down to three is hardly a group anymore.
Alhaitham heard Kaveh's heavy footsteps before he saw him. The older boy stomped through the library, shattering the peaceful morning atmosphere and making it clear that he was anything but pleased.
“Well I hope you’re happy.” Kaveh spits out, slamming a paper onto the table in front of him, “Teyya has dropped from our thesis. You’ve officially made everyone quit our project.”
“I fail to see how it was my fault.” Alhaitham replied calmly.
Kaveh's eyes widened in disbelief as he heard Alhaitham's words, his voice rising as he exclaimed, "You're kidding right?" Startled, nearby students turned their heads to the two, watching the scene unfold. Alhaitham sighed and shut his book, shifting his attention to the now-irate boy in front of him. "You were hardly friendly towards anyone! You didn't bother helping when they needed it, scolded them for not knowing the answer to something, or just flat out ignored them!"
“I warned you that I don’t work well with others. You can hardly fault me for being myself.” Alhaitahm shrugged, completely unbothered by the entire argument. Crossing his arms he raised a single brow, “Is that all?”
Kaveh's face was now red with anger, his fists clenched tightly as he fought to keep his composure. "No, that's not all! I'm tired of you always being so callous and dismissive to everyone, like you're better than them. You think you're so smart, ‘oh renowned genius’ and that everyone else around you is stupid, but you're wrong!”
Alhaitham studied him silently, eyes narrowed ever so slightly, “Is that what you truly think of me?”
“Didn’t you prove that during our trip to the desert?” Kaveh rubbed his forehead tiredly, “I mean, you even belittled me for helping our project partners!”
“You mean the ones who were using you?” Alhaitham stated, annoyance growing the longer this conversation dragged on.
“Here we go again!” Kaveh threw his hands up angrily, “They weren’t using me and you can fault me for wanting to help! I’m not like you, if someone needs me I’ll be there for them, no questions asked. Because I care.”
“You think I don’t care?” Alhaitham asked in disbelief.
Did these past few years mean nothing to Kaveh? He cared. Eminently. He cared so much that it scared him. Left him awake at night, thoughts filled with what if’s and when’s.
The senior swallowed harshly, refusing to meet his gaze. “I don’t know what I think anymore.”
“You can’t fault me for believing that everyone should be able to carry their own weight, to work for what they want. Those people - our peers - didn’t give a damn about actually working but piggybacking off two of the smartest students in the Akadeymia.” Alhaitham stated, “It’s realistic. Not ideal.”
“Well maybe I don’t believe that!” Kaveh shouted startling the nearby students. “You speak so much on realistic beliefs and seeing things logically. I don’t - I can’t see things that way. I’m not like you. Yet you continue to ridicule me for it.”
“Those beliefs will only hurt you in the end.” Alhaitham lifted his book, hoping to finally end their meaningless discussion.
Kaveh was silent, his eyes fixed on the floor. His breathing was shallow and slow, as if he was trying to contain the emotions that were bubbling beneath the surface. “Sometimes…” He said quietly. Full of devastation. “I regret making friends with someone like you, Alhaitham.”
Alhaitham stared harder at his book. Never looking up at Kaveh. Never allowing him to see how deeply those words affected him.
There’s a sniffle and a shuddering breath before Kaveh spoke again, “We’re done here. Goodbye Alhaitham.”
When he finally heard the fading footsteps of his senior, Alhaitham glanced up to get one final look at Kaveh. The ache in his chest grew tenfold. He wanted to call out, to fix things. He couldn’t apologize - not for his beliefs and he knew Kaveh would do the same, but he wanted to do something. To salvage things.
But the words never came.
Instead he watched Kaveh turn and corner and disappear from sight.
It takes awhile for things to settle in Alhaitham’s mind - for the true realization to set in. Numbly, he stands to his feet, abandoning his books and work on his table in favor of getting some air. The House of Daena, a place he felt most at home, suddenly felt claustrophobic, too much.
He walks and walks and walks. Until he found himself at the lone hill where he and Kaveh shared their first kiss all those years ago. And there, at the very peak, the once blossoming mourning flours lay wilted, near dead.
Oh. Alhaitham thinks helplessly, a hand clutching his chest. This is what heartbreak feels like.
Year 11
Life, Kaveh has discovered, has a funny way of putting you down when you’re already at your lowest. Living in severe debt, no job, and essentially homeless, the architect wonders how things could possibly get worse.
“I need you to move out.” Tighnari said one night during dinner.
The wooden spoon in his hand clattered against the ceramic bowl, “Wait what?”
Tighnari settled him with a serious yet empathetic look, “I think it’s time for you to move out. You’re depressed Kaveh and too comfortable here. Don’t think I don’t see when you mope around the village? When was the last time you had a project to work on or draw?”
Kaveh blew air from his nose and pouted, “I’m just in a slump. I’ll get better. Listen, if this is really about me walking in on you and Cyno the other day, I really didn’t think he’d still-”
“That’s not what this is about.” Tighnari waved his hands in front of him with reddened cheeks, “This will be good for you. Maybe help you spread your wings and fly, so to speak.”
“Tighnari…”
“It’s for your own good, Kaveh.” Tighnari said with finality, “We both know you don’t belong in Gandharva.”
His final days living with Tighnari go by in a blur, full of quiet dinners and sad looks from his friend when he thought Kaveh wasn’t looking. Soon. A little too soon for his taste - he’s packing up his things and standing at the center of Treasure Street, back in Sumeru. The market is bustling and the sun shines on his back, the heat of it reminding him that this was all real. He’s on his own once again.
He takes a deep breath and looks around feeling a way of nostalgia wash over him. He’s not sure where to go, or what to do. He’s not even sure if he’s ready to be on his own again. But he knows he can’t stay here forever. He takes another deep breath, and begins to walk.
It shouldn’t be surprising that Kaveh ends up at Lambads. The tavern had been a place he used to sneak into with his friends after long nights of studying and grueling days of exams. He steps into the tavern and is met with the warm embrace of familiarity. The smell of ale and the sound of laughter fills the air, and he can’t help but smile. He takes a seat at the bar and orders a drink, allowing himself a moment of respite before he tries to figure out what step would be next for him.
One drink turned into two, then three, and then the night began to blur into a haze.
“Am I going to have to cut you off Kaveh?” Lambad asked with a raised brow.
Kaveh hiccuped and smiled brightly, “Noooo.” He drawled out with a giggle, “I’m perfectly sober. Right as rain. Tip Top. In-” He tilted his head back and downed his drink before he could finish his sentence.
He was fine.
Perfectly fine.
Why wouldn’t he be fine?
“Cutting him off might be a good idea, Lambad.” A baritone voice said from Kaveh’s side.
He whirled around, irritation etched into his face, ready to tear into the person who had the audacity to intrude on their conversation. However, the words died on his lips when he locked eyes with the familiar teal irises of someone he knew all too well.
“Haitham.” Kaveh breathed out.
Archons, he looked…different. His once junior looked strong and tall, unfairly built, and just as handsome as the day they ceased to be friends.
Kaveh, too intoxicated to realize that he’s blatantly staring at his ex friend before he shook his head and turned his attention back to his goblet of wine, “What are you doing here?” He hoped the words came out more venomous than he wanted.
“Having a drink, just like you.” He held up his cup of wine, something that Kaveh had easily missed. “Though it looks like you’ve more than just one drink. Still a lightweight, Senior?”
Hearing the title come from Alhaitham’s annoyingly pretty lips had Kaveh bristling and blushing all at the same time. “That’s none of your business.”
Alhaitham chuckled, amused by the reaction he got from Kaveh. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” He asked, taking a seat beside the other man. He set his goblet of wine on the table and leaned back, his eyes trained on Kaveh. “But I’m sure you’re still the same Kaveh.” He said, his voice low and husky. Kaveh’s face heated up even more and he looked away, not wanting to look at Alhaitham’s face.
“What do you want?” He asked, his voice a bit more hostile than before.
Alhaitham smiled, a bit of mischief in his eyes. “Can’t two friends have a simple conversation?”
“We’re not friends.” Kaveh vehemently denied, though the way Alhaitham was currently looking at him had heart surging through his veins. Obviously it was the alcohol. Obviously.
The tick of Alhaitham’s lips annoyed him to no end, “Pity. I’ve come to make you an offer.”
That has Kaveh choking on his wine, the architect sputtering out, “Oh my god. What the hell?”
Alhaitham raised a brow and passed him a napkin, “Not that kind of offer. Get your head out of the gutter, Senior Kaveh.” He said with a smirk.
Archons. Forget about thinking this guy was hot. He was so infuriating.
“Fine. What kind of offer is it?”
“Move in with me.”
Kaveh's mouth dropped open in shock. "Are you serious? You want me to move in with you? Why? It’s been years since we’ve even spoken to each other.”
“Tighnari wrote to me.” The younger man shrugged.
That traitor. Kaveh thought heatedly.
“He told me you’d be moving back to the city and that I’d find you here.” Alhaitham leaned forward resting his chin on the palm of his hand, “Look, you need a place to stay and I have a vacant room. It’s yours if you want it.”
Kaveh narrowed his eyes in his direction, “What game are you playing at?”
“No games.” Was the truthful answer he received before Alhaitham is gracing him with another amused smirk, “Weren’t you the one saying I should be more helpful to those around me all those years ago? This is me extending some assistance.”
Kaveh thought it over, going through each pro and con of living with Alhaitham of all people. He was a know it all, egotistical, and drove Kaveh up the wall. Not to mention the history between them.
But.
But.
It wasn’t like he had anywhere else to go. Besides, Alhaitham wasn’t a stranger - or maybe he was now but Kaveh knew him. As much of an ass the man could be, he’d be a good roommate.
Kaveh bit at his lip, his mind still spinning from the many drinks he had. Clearly not thinking straight, he met Alhaitham’s gaze and sighed deeply. “Fine.”
Alhaitham’s smirk widened, the corner of his lips twitching slightly as he was obviously holding back a laugh. “Well then, it’s settled.” He said, pushing off the stool and standing to his full height. He gestured for Kaveh to follow him, and the two of them began to make their way back to Alhaitham’s home.
The walk was mostly silent and Alhaitham didn’t make an effort to fill the space with small talk. Kaveh mostly just stumbled along, he wouldn’t have been able to pay attention to what was being said if he wanted to. When they finally arrived at the house, Alhaitham opened the door and gestured for Kaveh to enter.
Kaveh stepped inside, taking in the neat and tidy living space. He was surprised to see how well kept it was, considering Alhaitham’s reputation as a bit of a slob - at least back at their Akadeymia days. He looked around, taking in the various knick-knacks and pieces of furniture.
“So, this is it.” Alhaitham said, gesturing around the room before leading him to what would be his bedroom “Feel free to make yourself at home. I’ll just be in my room if you need anything.” Kaveh nodded, and Alhaitham disappeared down the hallway.
Kaveh took a deep breath, looking around the room once more before settling down on the plush bed. He had no idea how this was going to work out, but he was determined to make it work. He just had to make sure he kept his distance from Alhaitham, and everything would be fine.
It had to be.
Year 12
Living with Alhaitham at first was hell on earth.
Once Kaveh was sober and properly rested, the reality of his decisions had settled in quickly. What in Archon’s name had he been thinking? Saying yes to moving in with Alhaitham?
Kaveh was sure he finally lost his mind.
They fought which was no surprise to anyone - probably more than anyone normal roommates should. Unnecessary bickering about chores or sleeping habits that would sure keep neighbors awake if they had any.
However.
That changed not long after Kaveh landed another architectural project six months after moving in that resulted in him leaving home for several weeks. It was a strange goodbye that happened between himself and Alhaitham, a thick tension that could only be torn by a blade. It was the first time Kaveh had been away from home for so long since he moved in and he was surprised to find himself missing Alhaitham in a way he hadn't anticipated.
He really shouldn’t miss him.
Not when things are so difficult between them.
He should have been happy, delighted to be away from Alhaitham’s presence for even a small amount of time. Instead he found himself thinking of the other man often, wondering how he was doing, if he was alright. All of it was unexpected and terrifying.
Kaveh chose to bury it all inside and focus on his work.
When Kaveh returned home, he was surprised to find that Alhaitham had missed him as well.
The two of them talked more, and even though they still fought resiliently, it was different now. Kaveh found himself opening up to Alhaitham more, trusting him with his thoughts and feelings. It reminded him of back when they were kids. When things were easier.
Then there was the touching.
He tried to remember if Alhaitham had ever been this touchy before but always came up short. Instead all of his thoughts are consumed with the way Alhaitham’s large palm encases his waist when he reaches for something inside their top cabinet or when he leans his shoulder against Kaveh’s own when they’re lounging on the couch.
His touch burned and filled him with a sense of longing.
Dangerous.
Potentially devastating.
But Archons.
Did he want it. Want Alhaitham.
It scared him more than anything.
Things come to a head when Kaveh, exhausted from a day of work, had fallen asleep on their couch. His art book and pencil had fallen from his grip and his head was snuggled into the throw pillow, lightly snoring.
He heard the soft thudded footsteps of his roommate approach him and strong arms lift him from the couch, holding him in a princess carry. “Wha-”
“Shh.” Alhaitham shushed him, his lips brushing against Kaveh’s forehead, “Sleep Kaveh.”
Confusion and bleariness settled over him as he fought against his sleep. He didn’t want to fall into slumber, not yet. Not when Alhaitham is holding him like this. When Kaveh has a million questions to ask.
He’s placed on his bed gently, Kaveh sunk into the mattress with a soft sigh. A hand pushes back a stray piece of his hair and a gentle kiss is pressed to his temple. The contentment shifted to panic when Alhaitham began to pull away.
Before he could move from the bed, Kaveh gripped his wrist with a pleading expression, “Stay.” He whispered.
There’s a flash of confliction on Alhaitahm’s face before fondness took over, “Okay,” He said quietly.
Kaveh smiled tiredly and scooted backwards to make room for the other man in his bed. Alhaitham removed his clothing and accessories, leaving himself shirtless. Too tired to actually make a comment but admiring the sight all the same, Kaveh watched as his roommate joined him in bed.
Alhaitham snuggled up close to Kaveh, draping an arm over his waist and burying his face in the crook of his neck. He shudders when a lingering kiss is pressed onto his neck, traveling up his jawline, before landing on his lips. Kaveh’s eyes widened in surprise before his eyes slipped shut and began to kiss back gently.
Their movements are languid, careful, filled with exhaustion but sent Kaveh’s mind spinning endlessly. It brought him back to when they had their first kiss on their hill; the butterflies, the taste of Alhaitham’s mouth on his own, the love.
Love.
He loved him.
The revelation is startling, mind altering and Kaveh is unable to stop the gasp that left his mouth. Taking it as an invitation, Alhaitham’s tongue dipped between his lips, tasting and taking, claiming Kaveh in his own way. The heat of Alhaitham’s hands are excruciating when they make their way under his blouse, touching and tracing across his body, holding onto Kaveh as if he didn’t want to let go.
Not that Kaveh wanted him to.
But breathing became difficult, especially when Alhaitham was determined to swallow every breath that left Kaveh’s lungs. He pulled away, breathing heavily and panting against Alhaitham’s lips. When their gazes locked and silence came over them.
Alhaitham brought a tentative hand up to brush blond hair away from Kaveh’s face, “Is this okay?” He asked, quietly, unsure.
Kaveh cupped his cheek as he sat up to hover over the younger man, “It’s more than okay.”
When their lips locked once more, Kaveh couldn’t find himself to be filled with any regrets.
The next morning, Kaveh woke to the sun shining through his curtains and a cool breeze across his bare torso.
Wait.
Bare?
Sitting up quickly, Kaveh looked down at his chest to see that it was indeed bare and absolutely covered in reddish bruises and deep bites.
Oh god. Oh god.
Pulling his sheet up he saw that he was completely naked and the marks continued downwards. There’s a soreness to his body and an ache in his ass that definitely provided more than enough answers to what happened.
Glancing over beside him, he took in the breathtaking sight of Alhaitham still sleeping soundly. His rosey lips parted with each gentle breath he took. Like Kaveh, his chest was bare and littered with scratch marks.
Serves him right. Kaveh thought with a scowl.
Then the sudden realization of “Holy shit, I slept with Alhaitham” kicked in.
Running a hand through his hair in slight panic, Kaveh wondered what it all meant to the other man. Alhaitham wasn’t the most expressive person when it came to feelings. Kaveh was pretty sure the guy was emotionally constipated 99% of the time.
So was this all a way to release some tension? Use Kaveh as an easy way to get off?
It didn’t sound like Alhaitham at all but Kaveh is too full of pestering thoughts and “what ifs” to make sense of everything.
Deciding that he needed to know an answer and quick before he spirals into a pool of anxiety, Kaveh rolls up to plop himself on Alhaitham’s lap.
He bit his lip feeling the younger man’s cock underneath him, wedged between his ass. Flashes of the previous night and just what that perfect cock could do had him biting back a whimper.
Focus, Kaveh.
“Well this is a sudden surprise.” Alhaitham’s sleep riddled voice pulled him from his thoughts. The scribe was looking up at him with a mischievous gleam, “But definitely not unwelcomed.”
His hands traveled up Kaveh’s thighs, finding their place on his hips, squeezing them tightly.
Just say it. Say what you're feeling. Don’t hold back. Kaveh told himself as he looked down at the man who rocked his world just a few hours ago.
“When you asked me to move in with you, you said no games. Is…” Kaveh swallowed harshly, “Is this a game to you? What happened between us?”
Alhaitham is infuriatingly stoic as he continued to stare up at Kaveh.
Say something! Kaveh wanted to shout. To scream. To beg.
He’s startled when Alhaitham sat up, keeping him firmly on his lap while a hand came up to cup his cheek, his expression eerily serious. “Do you honestly think I’d waste my time playing games like this? Especially with you?” When Kaveh parted his lips to answer, Alhaitham continued, “The answer is no. Not with you. Never you. Dammit, Kaveh. You still don’t understand, do you?”
“Understand what?” Kaveh asked, quietly.
Alhaitham steeled his gaze and brought Kaveh’s face closer, the distance between them nearly nonexistent. “It’s always been you, Kaveh. Since that day we met at the House of Daena.” Then that hard look was replaced by something softer; so much more tender than Kaveh had ever seen come across Alhaitham’s face, “I have loved you for years and after losing you once, I knew I couldn’t let you go again. There’s no one else for me. Just you.”
Kaveh’s mouth parted in shock, “You-you love me?”
Alhaitham’s lips ticked up in a smirk, “Who else could I possibly love if not you?”
That sentence. That one measly sentence shatters Kaveh into a million pieces. He’s flying and falling, breaking open like a locked box, bared for Alhaitham to see.
With a tear streaming down his face, Kaveh pulled Alhaitham into a heated, desperate kiss. Their mouths moved in sync, taking and giving, wanting nothing more than to feel each other more and more.
“I love you too.” Kaveh whispered, “All this time I have. It’s been miserable being without you. Don’t let me go again.”
“Never.” Alhaitham swore, trailing his lips across Kaveh’s jawline, biting and sucking. He was hard underneath Kaveh and it’s easy, too easy to slip inside the architect’s stretched hole. “You’re mine, always.”
Kaveh gasped and began to roll his hips, desperately wanting to feel more of Alhaitham. To let the man steal every inch of him away, to keep him deep within his ribcage, hidden from the rest of the world.
The years apart and the year together; all the turmoil and pain, the affection and the heartbreak was all worth it if it meant they would end up in this moment. Together.
“Yours.”