Chapter Text
Chapter 1: So We Meet Again?
Alhaitham stared down at the blond man sleeping on the library table in a mixture of shock and irritation. Kaveh.
He had known when he decided to take the work study opportunity at the university library he would run into all sorts of students. He saw Tighnari there regularly for instance. So he suspected he would eventually run into Kaveh. He had tried to prepare himself for it to that end; tried to sort out his complicated feelings about where they had left their friendship some 4 years ago. Of course, now looking down at the man himself he didn’t feel anymore calm or collected for all his efforts.
Faced with the worst case scenario and too exhausted to deal with the more multifaceted feelings that reared their ugly head when he saw Kaveh, he settled on tapping into the annoyance and gave Kaveh’s chair a swift kick.
Kaveh startled awake and shot up in his seat, “What the hell!” He yelled as he turned to face Alhaitham. His eyes widened and it was clear whatever thoughts had been forming in his head of an argument had abandoned him when he saw Alhaitham’s face staring back blankly.
“Get up and go home. The library is closing.” Alhaitham stated matter of factly.
“A pleasant disposition as always, I see,” Kaveh rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to be so cross about it. I’ll go now.” Kaveh started collecting his papers and laptop from the desk he had sprawled out on.
Alhaitham was content to leave it there. He started shutting down the computers and tidying up. By the time he was done, Kaveh had left the library some time ago so it was a shock when he left the building to see Kaveh still sitting on a bench outside. “What are you still doing here? Stalking me now?” Alhaitham raised an eyebrow.
“Ha! You wish. Though even your snide mug is more pleasant than the thought of going home right now,” Kaveh muttered the last bit, but naturally it didn’t go unnoticed.
“An issue at home?” Alhaitham prompted. He hated that he still cared at all. If it were anyone else he would have left them long ago without a single care if they slept right there on the bench or made it home.
“A fight with my roommate…..I’d rather not go home.” Kaveh spoke into his hand as if embarrassed to be revealing this to Alhaitham.
“Go to Tighnari’s.” It was a command and not a suggestion. Much as he hated to admit it he couldn’t stand the idea of Kaveh staying out somewhere unsafe.
Kaveh shook his head. “Tighnari is in the freshman dorms. They’re too cramped for me to trouble him. He wouldn’t have any space.”
A typical Kaveh answer, Alhaitham reasoned. He would rather put himself at great discomfort than inconvenience anyone else. All the same the question remained. “So what is your plan? Where will you go?”
Kaveh visibly winced at the question and remained silent.
Alhaitham was too tired to have an argument with Kaveh about having more regard for his safety than to stay out all night in a college town full of drunken idiots. So instead he sighed and relented, “Come on. You’ll sleep on my couch.” Alhaitham was already walking towards the parking garage his car was parked in.
Kaveh balked at the thought, but still followed Alhaitham even as he argued. “You can’t be serious. We haven’t even spoken in years and you expect me to just follow you to your house and crash on your couch.”
“You’re making this a bigger thing than it is. I live off campus in an apartment by myself. You won’t be inconveniencing anyone else and I get to sleep well knowing Tighnari won’t chew me out for leaving you out in the cold.” The excuse was flimsy even to his own ear. Tighnari knew about the fight between the two of them well and had never pressured either of them to try and reconcile. He would have been more upset with Kaveh than Alhaitham for putting himself at unnecessary risk.
However flimsy the reasoning, it worked to shut Kaveh up, “Fine. Just until the morning.”
The walk back to the car was awkward, but luckily for him, Kaveh fell back asleep in the car. Alhaitham only barely managed to poke him awake to get out of his passenger seat and walk groggily into his apartment. Kaveh collapsed onto the couch while Alhaitam was still taking his shoes off at the door. He had to wonder if Kaveh hadn’t been sleeping well for some time as he kneeled down and removed Kaveh’s shoes for him. He draped a spare blanket over him before sitting on the side of the couch for a moment to look down at him.
Alhaitham knew Kaveh was objectively beautiful. He knew that the years had chipped away at the strong resentment he had initially felt when they fought in highschool. Looking at him now, more beautiful than he had been then and still so much exactly as Alhaitham remembered him, Alhaitham could feel his unresolved feelings bubbling back up. They threatened to make their way back to the surface as Alhaitham removed some of the barretts from Kaveh’s hair and put them on the coffee table. His fingers lingered on Kaveh’s face when he brushed the hair out of it. It was dangerous for him to let Kaveh in tonight, but he knew all too well that Kaveh would have tried to stay awake all night outside rather than make his roommate uncomfortable after whatever fight they had.
“Idiot,” he said more to himself than the one sleeping on his couch. He made his way back to his own bed, shutting the door tight so Kaveh wouldn’t stir when he fell backwards into his bed and muttered, “What am I doing?” Alhaitam pressed the palms of his hands over his eyes as he tried to stuff his feeling back down into the hollow chasm Kaveh made in him when he left.
***
Kaveh and Alhaitham enjoyed a quiet silence as they often did. They sat on Alhaitham’s couch, Alhaitam on one side leaning against the arm and reading a book while Kaveh typed into his laptop his legs stretched on the couch and rested in Alhaitham’s lap. Alhaitham didn’t remotely mind the touch of Kaveh in his lap, rather what he was annoyed about was that Kaveh wasn’t closer. Generally when Kaveh was there, Alhaitham would pick some classic literature book. Jane Austen for example. It wasn’t Alhaitham’s usual preference, he would pick nonfiction if by himself. But often Kaveh would rest his head on Alhaitham’s shoulder, his chest pressed into Alhaitam’s side and read over his shoulder. The way he would gasp or sigh at an event in the book would be felt on Alhaitham’s skin and draw a smile from him. So it was odd that Kaveh decided to keep so much distance and busy himself with other work.
Alhaitham put a bookmark into the novel and closed it with a clap of the covers together, drawing Kaveh’s attention over the screen of his laptop. “What are you working on?” Alhaitham asked. Even he recognised the edge of annoyance in his voice.
“Just a project.” Kaveh answered nonchalantly as he turned full attention back to his laptop.
Alhaitham raised an eyebrow. That didn’t track. He regularly asked Kaveh about his school workload and kept tabs on it. Kaveh’s home life was far from perfect. No one was going to keep tabs on him to make sure he was still properly eating and resting if Alhaitham didn’t. Besides, Alhaitham often asked for Kaveh’s help researching various things for their science or debate club and he would hate himself if something he asked Kaveh for tipped his workload into being too unbearable. He had to know when it was and wasn’t safe to ask. “I wasn’t aware of a project you had outstanding work on.”
“Uhh….well, that is….” Kaveh faltered and stopped typing as he tried to think up something to say or some way to say it that would not make Alhaitham more upset. “I suppose you could say it’s new outstanding work. My group members are a bit behind in some of their other subjects. You know, studying for AP exams and all that. They asked me to pick up the slack on this.”
“They’re taking advantage of you,” Alhaitham closed Kaveh’s laptop and put it on the table being met with Kaveh’s full scowl in return. “You also have AP exams and other subjects to study for. You can’t let them walk all over you like this.”
“Haitham, it’s fine. You know I can handle it; you’re looking at the valedictorian.” Kaveh tried to reach for the laptop but Alhaitham caught his hand.
“Kaveh, you promised me you wouldn’t do this anymore after I caught you falling asleep at lunch when you stayed up to finish an entire French project by yourself.”
“Work pops up; I can’t help that. You’ll understand when you’re a senior.” Kaveh was starting to talk quicker and louder. He was getting defensive.
“No, I won’t understand because I won’t do other people’s work. I’m not that desperate for them to like me.” Alhaitham shot back. Kaveh pulled his hand out of Alhaitham’s grip and glared at him.
“I am not desperate! People need help sometimes! When you’re smart enough to keep people’s emotions in your mind with all your cold logic, you know that.”
“Cold logic is what keeps you from overexerting yourself. I know my limits, unlike some people. Do you even think about your own mental state, Kaveh? Maybe if you spent more time thinking about yourself instead of everyone else, you would realize that not everyone is going to leave the way your dad did if you don’t do everything for them.” It was the only off limits topic and he stepped right in it.
“Don’t bring that up.” Kaveh curled his knees into his chest, fully removing himself from Alhaitham’s space.
Alhaitham held his hand out as if trying to calm a reactive dog. “I know you don’t want to talk about it. But don’t you think if we did apply some logic to it, we could fix your self d–”
Alhaitham was cut off by Kaveh standing up. “No, you know what, I don't think I need your logic applied to every facet of my life and I don’t need you trying to fix me.” Kaveh started gathering all his materials into his bag.
“‘Fix’ has a bad connotation. Maybe you should consider the definition more in line with resolve. Mend. Repair. I am trying to help you.” Alhaithem stood up following Kaveh as he went around the room shoving his books and etc into his bag. His face was feeling hot. Part of him knew he should back down, but he was also right, wasn’t he? Why should he back down? He was trying to help. If Kaveh would just let him help…. “Can you calm down and think about this rationally? If you crawled out of your self pity long enough, we could improve your situation.”
“I bet I was just an experiment to you all along. Can you ‘fix’ the kid no one wants? Ha, you even had me fooled. I thought–,” Kaveh stopped mid sentence and shook the thought from his head. “Forget it. I graduate in a couple months anyway and then you won’t have to see my pity party anymore.” Kaveh had marched from the door and left Alhaitham standing there alone. For the first time in his life, Alhaitham felt stupid.
***
Kaveh woke up in the morning to the smell of breakfast being made. He roused, brushing his fingers through his hair. When he sat up he could see Alhaitham over the counter making breakfast but he didn’t acknowledge him right away. When he had followed Alhaitham, he thought it was the lesser of two evils, but now that the awkwardness of the situation was starting to fully hit him, he wasn’t as sure.
Alhaitham seemed to notice him waking up and approached him with a cup of hot coffee. It didn’t escape Kaveh that Alhaitham only seemed to sleep in loose fitting lounge pants and didn’t bother wearing a bit more to cook his breakfast. He’d gotten more muscular, more toned in their years apart and the way Alhaitham smirked at him smugly as he set the mug on the coffee table made him aware he had been staring too blatantly. But Kaveh couldn’t possibly blame himself. A near 6 foot, muscled, half naked man bringing him coffee was practically a dream. It would only be better if the man wasn’t one whose smug look still irked Kaveh.
“You still look tired.” Alhaitham commented as he returned to the kitchen to finish cooking.
“Well, excuse me,” Kaveh scoffed. “To think I didn’t catch up on weeks of sleep on Ikea’s worst futon.”
“You’re welcome for letting you stay here,” Alhaitham retorted snidely. He brought two plates of food to the small dining table. “Come eat.”
Kaveh really wanted to make an excuse to go. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Part of him wanted to apologize to Alhaitham for their fight, the other wanted to smack him every time he thought about Alhaitham just taking care of him as you would an injured bird or any other broken thing. Unable to pick between those options, Kaveh joined Alhaitham at the small table, immediately met with the surprise of egg drop soup with green onion on top and bacon on the side. “You made egg drop soup.” Kaveh stated, dumbly.
“It’s easy and eggs are a good source of protein. Eat or don’t, I don’t care.” Alhaitham didn’t even meet Kaveh’s eyes as he spoke, instead opening a book.
Kaveh didn’t know if Alhaitham remembered at all that egg drop soup was one of his favorites and in fact a go to when he felt sick. He wanted to ask, but it seemed conceited to even imply that Alhaitham might remember such a small detail from their long dead friendship. At the same time, Kaveh remembered that Alhaitham hated soup because it was hard to eat and read at the same time which gave him hope he did remember. He didn’t want to crush it by asking.
Alhaitham finally spoke as Kaveh finished his last bite of breakfast, still not looking up from his book. “What argument did you have with your roommate?”
Kaveh sighed, putting his head in his hand and leaning his elbow onto the table, “We haven’t seen eye to eye since the school year started honestly.” Kaveh confessed. “The big issue last night was that he can’t sleep without playing music and he plays it too loud for me to tune out. I guess I finally snapped a bit when I ended up falling asleep during a lecture. I do pay good money to be at this school and I want to get my money’s worth. I tried to turn it off after I thought he was asleep and we argued. I was too wired to go to sleep after and didn’t want to be there anymore so I left to go study at the library - it’s not far from my dorm you know - but I guess I ended up just falling asleep there.”
Alhaitham stood up wordlessly, walked into his room and returned moments later with a pair of large over ear headphones. He placed them in front of Kaveh on the table. “I would break his speaker, but since I know you won’t use these. I used to use them when I lived in the freshman dorm to drown out noise while I studied. They’re noise canceling headphones.”
“I am not a charity case.” Kaveh looked up defiantly.
Alhaitham merely shrugged. “I was going to throw them out anyway. I don’t need them now that I have my own space. Giving them to you is just as convenient for me as it worked out. Don’t take them if you don’t want them.” Alhaitham sat back down in his original seat. He reopened his book, looking to all the world completely disinterested in Kaveh’s choice. Truth be told, he was planning to give them to Tighnari since having sensitive ears and roommates had to be rough, but he left that out.
“You might as well not waste them. Honestly, you have so little appreciation for anything that isn’t a book.” Kaveh picked up the headphones and began inspecting them.
Alhaitham considered that a success and started to push his luck. “You can stay here one more night if you want. I don’t know how bad the fight was, but it might be better to give him a little more time to cool off. I don’t know how comfortable those things are to sleep in anyway and you look like you desperately still need the rest.”
“Are you saying I look that haggard?” Kaveh huffed. “I will have you know my looks are very popular.” Kaveh chewed his bottom lip for a moment and considered his options. Alhaitam was a curt smartass, no one would argue that, but he also kept to himself and was easy to ignore. This being Saturday though, his roommate would have invited his friends over to their room and that was worse even than the music. Kaveh was desperate for peace and more sleep even if he did argue with Alhaitham when they spoke. “Fine. I’ll grace you with my presence a little longer.”
Alhaitham snorted derisively, but didn’t argue.
***
Kaveh had taken up on the couch typing away on this laptop while Alhaitham sat next to him reading. Alhaitham could see Kaveh started to nod and droop out of the corner of his eyes after a couple hours and knew it was only a matter of time before he was completely out. It wasn’t until Kaveh’s head landed in Alhaitham’s lap that Alhaitham realized he was asleep. “Idiot,” Alhaitham muttered. He put his book down and pulled out his phone. He searched through his contacts before landing on Tighnari’s number.
It rang only a couple times before an answer came. “Alhaitham.” Tighnari said in acknowledgement.
“I need a favor.” Alhaitham and Tighnari were not overly verbose with each other. Very to the point. They respected each other’s intellect too much to consider wasting the other’s time with unnecessary pleasantries especially as Tighnari knew Alhaitham didn’t care for them.
“That’s unusual,” Tighnari hummed. “But of course. A book to borrow? An errand about campus perhaps?”
“An errand of sorts,” Alhaitham agreed. “Kaveh is here and he should be staying at least one more night. Can you grab some of his items from his room and deliver them here? He is asleep.”
“Excuse me?” Alhaitham was tempted to smirk at the disbelief. Tighnari expected so much it was hard to catch him off guard. “Did you say Kaveh was there? As in at your apartment? When did you two even start speaking again?”
“Last night.”
“And he is staying the night? You two work fast.”
Alhaitham scoffed, “It’s not like that. He’s just sleeping here. The idiot was going to stay out all night to avoid his roommate. He looked like a lost puppy; I couldn’t well ignore him.”
“Ah,” Tighnari seemed to have a realization. “The asshole is still being a problem. I have told him repeatedly to come to my room or report the incidents to his RA but he always seems to refuse.”
“So this is an ongoing conflict?” Alhaitham raised an eyebrow.
“More than you know,” Tighnari sighed. “Not all the issues are mine to discuss so I’ll let Kaveh tell you, but I wish he would request a transfer.” Alhaitham kicked himself for not realizing sooner that Kaveh would be withholding the full extent of the problems. He made a mental note to try to bring it up again later to get more information. “Anyway,” Tighnari continued bringing Alhaitham’s attention back, “I’m happy to get some items for him. I know you two aren’t close anymore, but I appreciate you taking care of him.” There was a slight pause before Tighnari continued, “If it’s too much for you, bring him back to my dorm.”
“Why would it be too much? I am not even taking care of him; just giving him a place to sleep.”
“Right,” there was a definite sarcastic tone in Tighnari’s voice. “I know you two butt heads….and I know you didn’t take that fight so well either.”
Alhaitham’s eyebrow twitched in irritation that Tighnari saw right through him. “Goodbye; I will see you shortly.” Alhaitham ended the call.
***
Kaveh woke up when a knock came at the door. When he lifted his head he was embarrassed to find himself raising it out of Alhaitam’s lap. He snapped up quickly and Alhaitham stood and walked to the door, seemingly completely unphased.
“Thank you for coming,” Alhaitam said as he opened the door. Kaveh peaked over the couch to see Tighnari walking in with a satchel and a book in hand. Kaveh immediately squished himself down into the couch. He did not intend for anyone to find out that he stayed with Alhaitham let alone their only mutual friend.
“I had been meaning to return this anyway.” Tighnari gave the book to Alhaitham. “It was an excellent recommendation.”
Alhaitham nodded as Tighnari made his way further into the apartment before dropping the satchel on top of Kaveh from the back of the couch. “You,” he glared at Kaveh who for his part still tried to look invisible, camouflaged into the sofa. “What is this I hear that you were going to just stay out all night to avoid Lev?” Alhaitham made a note of the name. It must have been Kaveh’s roommate. “Do you have no regard for your own safety? You could have caught your death with how cold it’s been getting at night. You could have been attacked. How do you think I would have felt if you let something like that happen instead of coming to me.”
“You’re right,” Kaveh held his hands up in mock surrender as he finally sat up right, pushing the satchel to the other cushion. “I realize now that it was irresponsible.”
“Good. Act your age and be more careful,” Alhaitham chimed in.
“You stay out of it.” Kaveh glared at Alhaitham before turning his attention back to Tighnari. “What are you doing here?”
“I came at Alhaitam’s request. That bag is an overnight bag from your room. Lev was at least nice enough to let me in to gather it. I guess he is not a complete waste of space. Barely,” Tighnari crossed his arms as if hating to admit it. “He did have Ezra there. Probably best you weren’t there.”
Alhaitham raised his eyebrow in curiosity and Kaveh seemed to notice his curiosity. He hushed Tighnari, “Tighnari, let’s not discuss this right now.”
Tighnari shrugged. “Fine, suit yourself. Alhaitham’s direct problem method might be the right approach here though.”
Kaveh and Alhaitham locked eyes for a moment, before Kaveh pointedly looked down at his fists. He thought of what happened the last time Alhaitham attempted to give him advice on his personal relationships. They weren’t exactly repairing their friendship right now, but they had still fallen back into a banter that worked for them. The surface level barbs they traded back and forth didn’t hurt. Not the way it had hurt when Alhaitham had found the shattered bits inside him and ripped them out for examination anyway. Besides, they had just started talking again. This new dynamic between them was too fragile to test. He thought a change of topic was easier. “Let’s play a card game, shall we?”
***
The three had enjoyed the card game. Or at least, Tighnari had enjoyed the card game. Kaveh simply continually accused Alhaithem for cheating because he was doing well while reading a book and Alhaitham ignored Kaveh or pointed out that he must lack the aptitude for the simple game to have to devote so much attention to it.
After losing, Kaveh huffed out of the room, grabbing the bag from the couch and announcing he was going to take a shower.
Alhaitham was quick to put his book down. “What is happening with this Ezra?”
Tighnari rolled his eyes. “I told you on the phone; they’re not my problems to divulge. Maybe you could try actually talking to him instead of having a shield up the whole time.” Tighnari gestured to the book.
Alhaitham lightly shook his head, “It’s not that easy anymore. We’re…not close the way we were.”
“It didn’t say it would be easy,” Tighnari sighed, leaning back. “It’s work to repair a relationship. It’s probably better to decide now if you think the relationship you could have with Kaveh is worth that or not.” Tighnari grabbed his phone out, scrolling a bit before presenting an image to Alhaitham of a brunette man with an overconfident grin looking away as if he didn’t know he was being photographed. “All I will say as a concerned friend of Kaveh’s is that if you see this man approaching him or talking to him, get him away. I don’t trust him near Kaveh a bit.”
Alhaitham nodded and committed the image to memory.
***
Alhaitham was amazed at how quickly the day had passed. Tighnari had excused himself after pizza, being pre-med was a heavy school load and he had to study. Kaveh and Alhaitham had done school work together before Kaveh fell back asleep. Alhaitham couldn’t really explain his whole feelings about the experience if anyone asked. Tighnari, Kaveh, and him playing games, eating pizza, talking about their respective studies (pre-med, Architecture and Interior Design, and Literature and Linguistics respectively): that all felt correct. It was like that was the piece of the college experience he had been missing his Freshman year and having it now that it was present, the experience felt whole.
At the same time, there was a barb there under the surface that pricked at it, threatening to pop it like a balloon: Kaveh was still distant and there was still a lingering resentment at everything they could have had - time, experiences, something more than friendship? - if Kaveh had calmed down enough to talk it over with him 3 years ago instead of running away.
He didn’t have a real answer to Tighnari’s question. Was the relationship he could have with Kaveh worth confronting everything, but after thinking it over he wanted some relationship with Kaveh. Enough that the other wouldn’t avoid him or run in the opposite direction.
So when Kaveh woke up and got dressed the next morning, Alhaithem offered him a ride back to the dorms, but made a stop on the way at the cafe. He had Kaveh keep a table for them and ordered them drinks, he came back and put the drink he ordered Kaveh in front of him. Kaveh stared down in disbelief. “Vanilla latte…..I used to order this in high school.”
“I remember,” Alhaitham stated matter of factly, sipping his own black coffee.
“It’s…not really what I drink anymore.” Kaveh looked to the side avoiding the drink. Alhaithem motioned to take it away, but Kaveh cupped it protectively, “No, I’ll drink it. Thank you.”
“I remember a lot of what happened back then.” Alhaithem sipped his drink, stared at the table, did anything but let Kaveh look him in the eyes and realize how much of his armor he was setting aside. “I don’t know that we’ll ever be as close; time changes everyone. I am not an enemy though. Let me put my number in your phone. Call me when you need me.” It was all said in the same factual tone he said everything in. He was doing well to keep the emotion out of his voice. He hoped Kaveh didn’t notice the faint shake in his hand as he reached to ask for Kaveh’s phone.
Kaveh’s eyes were the size of dinner plates. It wasn’t quite an apology…but then Kaveh wasn’t ready to apologize either. Part of him knew they considered themselves too smart to put aside their pride and readily admit their mistakes. But it was a start wasn’t it? After the moment of shock passed, he chuckled into his hand and said, “Well, if you’re going to beg,” as he handed his phone off to Alhaithem unlocked, ready for the new contact to be added.
“Hn,” Alhaithem smirked, “as if I would beg you for anything.”