Work Text:
Tremble, recognize the distance
Go try and murder every preference
I’ll keep hanging ‘round for reference
Come care about me
Come care about me
The text arrives after Matthew has put his pajamas on and finished his skincare routine, burrowing under the covers of his shared room with Gunwook, intent on playing a game until the sound of the Busan waves lulled him to sleep. The notification pauses the game, freezing his character mid attack, and he blinks at the blur of Zhang Hao’s name in the dark.
Come downstairs. Our room.
It’s paired with a cute sticker, because Hao is Hao even when he’s technically bossing people around. Matthew’s heart picks up in his chest, all traces of sleep vanishing. This hasn’t happened in awhile, not properly, and he didn’t think it would on a work trip. But the cameras are gone. They’ve all been left alone in this sprawling villa by the sea for the night.
Of course Zhang Hao would be bold enough to take advantage.
Matthew shifts to check on Gunwook, finding him already fast asleep—mouth open against the pillow, hair a mess. So it’s easy to slip from the room like a ghost. To pad down the stairs without turning on any lights, fumbling his way to the tucked-away room that Hanbin and Hao claimed immediately because it looked out at the water through a wall of windows.
Only one of the bedside lamps is on, casting the scene in a hazy glow. Hao and Hanbin are on the bed, under the covers, but Matthew’s gaze catches on the bare strip of shoulder visible, the suggestion of Hanbin’s nakedness under the white duvet. In contrast, Hao is fully dressed in a baggy t-shirt and soft shorts, glasses on his face and retainer gleaming in his mouth—all dressed down and boyish the way Matthew loves him best.
He’s looking at his phone and his other hand is in Hanbin’s hair, absently stroking through the dark strands, while Hanbin blinks sleepily. He smiles a greeting at Matthew.
“We weren’t sure if you’d already be asleep,” he murmurs.
Matthew shakes his head and totters over to the bed. Hao scoots sideways so that Matthew can collapse between him and Hanbin—hand moving to the back of Matthew’s head as Matthew noses at Hanbin’s soft, red cheek, watching the fan of Hanbin’s long, pretty eyelashes in response.
This close, he can see how flushed Hanbin is, a familiar glassy sheen over his dark eyes, and after a moment he hears it: a faint, telling buzz from somewhere under the covers.
Oh.
“We went ahead and got started,” Hao says, amused by the realization dawning on Matthew’s face.
Hanbin flushes further, red all the way to his ears, but doesn’t say anything. He’s been so stressed lately, it’s probably a quiet night. They’re rare, for someone who likes to yap as much as Hanbin does, but on occasion he winds up so tight that with the right nudge he ends up completely unspooling—words gone, mind sinking somewhere weighted and shadowed and safe. Hanbin’s described it before as drifting cocooned in a calm sea, gravity drawing him down, down, down until the whole world disappears, lost beyond the distant surface.
It sounds a little scary to Matthew, but he knows that it helps. He’s seen how much it helps.
(Besides, Hanbin murmurs, lips gentle against his neck, I feel safe with you, Matthew-yah. You and Hao, you’ll take care of me, right?
And it’s a small miracle that Hanbin was even asking that, allowing it, so Matthew just snuggles in close and says, of course, hyung, always.)
Tonight, he twists so that he’s peering up at Hao, who still looks placid and unruffled. “Can I touch him?”
“Mmm.” Hao nods. “He’s already sensitive.” That note of amusement again. “So go slow.”
Matthew arches a questioning eyebrow and Hao flashes his phone. An app to control the vibrator fills the screen. He currently has it set to low, but Matthew guesses he’s been playing for awhile, bringing Hanbin right to the edge at least once or twice before summoning Matthew. The thought of it sets a fire low in his belly and he scoots closer, worming a hand under the covers to smooth a palm over the hot skin of Hanbin’s bare stomach.
Hanbin still has boxers on, he realizes as he continues his journey south. He touches over them first, cupping a hand between Hanbin’s legs and biting back a breathless sound at the stick of the damp fabric to his skin. God, Hanbin’s so wet. He always gets so wet for them and Matthew will never stop finding it hot enough to wreck him.
“Fuck, Hao hyung,” he says, the English coming out sharp. “He’s soaked.”
Now Hao looks smug. “Had to keep his underwear on or he would have made too much of a mess.”
A shiver runs through Hanbin at this slight note of degradation and Matthew pauses to check on him. He hasn’t tensed up. It’s the good, squirmy kind of embarrassment, not the bad. Besides, Hao is always so careful when he pushes against Hanbin’s boundaries, gentle with the test of them.
Matthew pushes at the hem of Hanbin’s boxers and Hanbin obediently lifts his hips, letting Matthew tug them down over the swell of his ass, resting the band around his upper thighs. Matthew cups him again quickly, feeling the coarse brush of his pubic hair on his palm, the hard chub of his clit against the tips of Matthew’s fingers, already swollen with arousal. Reverent, Matthew slides down, dipping his pointer finger into Hanbin’s slick folds until he finds the end of the vibrator spilling from Hanbin’s stretched hole.
It’s still buzzing lightly and Hanbin makes a low sound when Matthew tugs on it, pulling it out so just the tip is inside before pushing back in, angling it so that it will nestle up against Hanbin’s g-spot.
Honestly, one of his favorite things is when they get to play with Hanbin like this—slowly, slowly, slowly work him up, make him feel good, drag pretty responses out of him like music from an instrument.
“There’s another surprise,” Zhang Hao says mildly, setting his phone in his lap. “If you explore a little more.”
Another…?
Matthew moves back to Hanbin’s ass, rubbing over the smooth skin to savor it before he brushes Hanbin’s hole. Silicone. A plug, nestled firmly inside, a little tacky at the edges from excess lube.
“Fuck,” Matthew breathes.
They do this even less because it usually leaves Hanbin too sore when so much of their time is consumed by dance practice or performances. Zhang Hao is really indulging all of them tonight and the smug satisfaction on his face makes arousal coil hot and familiar in the pit of Matthew’s stomach.
He focuses on Hanbin for now, carefully pulling on the plug. Hanbin moans, pressing his face into the pillow to muffle the sound, and Matthew finally yanks the blankets down so he can see all of it—the way Hanbin’s hole opens around the wide bulge of the plug, the taut stretch of his rim. It’s one of the bigger ones in their modest collection, bought by Zhang Hao and presented to Hanbin with a challenge in his gaze that he knew Hanbin would answer. The first time Hao used it, the fullness reduced Hanbin to tears and if Matthew were to take it all the way out now, he suspects Hanbin would stay perfectly loose, gaping for his fingers or his cock.
God, Hao must have spent so long working him open—probably started as soon as the group dispersed after room assignments.
“Surprise,” Zhang Hao says, a smirk on his face that manages to look attractive even with the retainer causing a cute lisp in his speech.
Matthew stares at him, hungry and awed. “What do you want me to do, hyung?”
“I want you to fuck him,” Zhang Hao says casually, petting Hanbin’s hair again, down to the sweaty nape of his neck. Hanbin stays pliant for them both, cheek still smushed to the pillow. “While I have his mouth. Then, he’s going to take us both.”
Matthew shivers. They’ve never tried that before, never had the time in their crazy schedules to make sure Hanbin wouldn’t experience any pain from it. Often, they don’t even manage anything past hands or mouths or a quick grind in a random closet—though Hanbin’s overwhelming sense of responsibility rarely allows that to happen, especially outside the dorms.
“And the vibrator?” Matthew asks.
“It stays,” Zhang Hao says. He looks imperious as he settles back against the headboard, like a king. “He can come as many times as he wants. He just knows that you won’t stop until you’ve come too.”
Matthew bites his lip, nods a little frantically. Hanbin also gets so sensitive for them and Zhang Hao especially loves to work him to tears, reducing him to a shivery mess. Matthew is always gentler with it, anxious about doing too much, pushing too far, overstepping one of the boundaries between them. He feels a bit inept sometimes, lacking Zhang Hao’s innate understanding of Hanbin’s inner workings, just the right places to pull to unravel him without damage or upset.
(Mattchu, you know me, Hanbin says to him when he voices those fears once, pulling Matthew into his lap, squishing his cheeks. Stop being so nervous.
But that’s easier said than done, especially when Hanbin is his hyung. When there are certain roles they’ve played for so long. The bedroom doesn’t always melt them away.)
He pulls Hanbin’s hips up, getting his boxers off the rest of the way. Zhang Hao wiggles out of his own, kicking them carelessly aside. He’s wet too, Matthew notes, glistening in the hazy, golden lamplight, and he spreads his legs wide without any self-consciousness—cunt pink and pretty beneath the dark tangle of his pubic hair. Matthew’s throat goes dry as Hao rubs two fingers over the large swell of his clit, pulling the hood back to expose the twitching head. Sometimes, Hao can appear so composed and aloof in bed, Matthew likes this evidence that he’s turned on, too, that he’s enjoying this just as much.
_ _
Letting go is harder for me, Hao confesses to Matthew on one of their dates, side by side in the booth of a diner Matthew wanted to try, holding Matthew’s hand under the table. Being vulnerable. I envy you and Hanbin. You, especially. You’re so unselfconscious.
Matthew shrugs, flattered. I don’t see the point in getting embarrassed, hyung. Especially with people I love.
And I’m one of those people? Zhang Hao asks because for all his confidence in bed, he still needs reassurance from them both, Matthew has learned. That this is more than sex, that no one is going anywhere even if their time as a group has a limit on it.
Of course, Matthew says, pressing their cheeks together in soft affection, feeling the puff of Zhang Hao’s smile. Of course you are.
_ _
“Hanbin-ah,” Zhang Hao says, addressing Hanbin directly for the first time since Matthew entered the room. His voice is firm but tender, his fingers drag along Hanbin’s cheek. “You with us, baby?”
Hanbin blinks. Nods.
“Yes,” he rasps. He twists to smile at Matthew, a little more present. He looks so cute, all flushed and rumpled like this. “Hi, Seokmae-yah, ‘ve missed you.”
“Silly hyung,” Matthew kisses his back, right between his shoulders. “You see me all the time.”
“Not like this,” Hanbin murmurs, voice still a bit slurred.
He fumbles for Matthew’s hand and squeezes. Matthew squeezes back tightly, chest full as usual. Hanbin has that effect on him—has ever since they crashed together as Cube trainees and were curling around each other in bed within a week of meeting, Hanbin’s fingers in his hair, Hanbin battling through English just to communicate with him, Matthew half in love already even though he couldn’t see the shape of it then.
Hanbin shifts again, tilting his head back to peer up at Hao. “Gege,” he says. “Y’want my mouth?”
“Yeah,” Hao nods. Laughs softly. “You good with that?”
Hanbin looks offended at the suggestion that he wouldn’t be. “Of course.”
Matthew giggles against his skin, holds his waist to help him up onto his hands and knees so he can crawl between Hao’s legs. He pauses there to let Hao draw him in for a kiss, opening his mouth easily for Hao’s tongue as Hao drags a hand down his body, rubbing between his legs to make him gasp. Matthew can’t see from this angle, but it’s easy to imagine Hao’s fingers catching on his slick clit, nudging at the vibrator still buzzing lowly in him.
“Matthew-yah, you too,” Hao says when he pulls away from Hanbin for air, swollen lips pressed into one of his adorable, lethal pouts. “You’re neglecting me.”
“Can’t have that, hyung,” Matthew agrees easily and squishes his chest against Hanbin’s shuddering back so he can seal his mouth over Hao’s—Hanbin caught between them as they kiss, eager and a little messy. Hao’s always assertive with his kisses, all pressure and heat, and it’s easy to get lost in them. In contrast, Hanbin is more deliberate, calculated in the curl of his tongue, the angle of his head. Matthew loves them both.
Hanbin makes a slightly pathetic sound when the kiss goes on too long—now the one feeling neglected. So Matthew shifts to kiss him next, tilting Hanbin’s chin up to take a bit of control. Hanbin tastes like the cherry balm he always applies religiously in the winter, all tart and sweet and with a bit of Hao’s vanilla mixed in. Matthew wraps a steadying arm around Hanbin’s waist, aware of the press of Hao’s fingers to his nape. They squeeze when it’s time to stop and Matthew listens to the nonverbal command, reluctantly disconnecting his lips from Hanbin’s.
“Sorry,” Hao says with an arched eyebrow. “We don’t actually have all night since you have to get up and film breakfast tomorrow.”
“It’s not my fault I didn’t understand the rules,” Matthew grumbles.
“Hmm, no you’re just bad at it,” Hao teases and Hanbin huffs a faint, amused sound.
Matthew pinches him in retaliation and gets big, puppy eyes leveled at him that immediately make him feel bad. But Hao tugs on Hanbin’s hair before Matthew can say anything, dragging him down towards the mattress as Hao leans against the headboard. Hanbin groans softly at the manhandling, the bracket of Hao’s thighs on either side of his head.
“C’mon, Hanbin-ah,” Hao says. “Enough stalling.”
Even though Hao was the one who wanted to kiss first. Matthew shakes his head but Hanbin doesn’t argue, sinking back into that fuzzy place as he licks the first stripe up the wet seam of Hao’s cunt. Hao blows out a sharp breath of pleasure through his nose, tilting his head back to thunk on the headboard as his fingers stay tight in Hanbin’s hair. Matthew is tempted to just sit and watch because god, what a show. Hanbin’s so good with his tongue and it’s so hot watching him like this—how eager he gets, the slick that spreads across his cheeks and chin, the way he sucks Hao’s clit into his mouth before moving down to fuck into Hao’s dripping hole. And Hao—so flushed and pretty, low moans spilling from his parted lips as he holds Hanbin in place, pressing Hanbin’s face in so close even Hanbin’s nose is buried in his folds, practically suffocating him.
Matthew could watch them together for hours, but he’s been given a task tonight. And of course Zhang Hao still has enough presence of mind to arch an eyebrow at him and ask, “do you want to fuck him, Matthew-yah, or are you just going to sit there gawking?”
“You like it,” Matthew mutters a little petulantly because there have been plenty of times where Hao just wanted him to watch—ordered him into a chair or to the foot of the bed or even to the floor and told him how to touch himself, how to get off to him and Hanbin together, and he’d lose himself easily in the slick grind of their bodies, in the noises Hao made when Hanbin fucked him.
“Not tonight,” Hao insists, then hitches through another helpless sound of pleasure when Hanbin returns to his clit, flicking his tongue over the head before closing his mouth over it again. “Mmm, stay just like that, baby,” he says. “Slow down for me.”
Hanbin hums in acknowledgement and obeys, settling against the mattress while managing to keep Hao’s clit cradled in his mouth. It’s hot, so fucking hot, and Matthew finally slams fully back into his own body—suddenly aware of the aching hardness between his legs as he gets Hanbin’s hips up and closes his fingers around the plug.
“Don’t worry about going slow,” Zhang Hao tells him, gaze glittering and sharp. “He’s already nice and loose.”
Matthew curses and pulls the plug out in one motion, discarding it on the bed as Hanbin whimpers around his mouthful. He still sinks his fingers into Hanbin’s lube-slick hole to be sure and just as Hao promised, the slide is easy, almost no resistance as Matthew fits two, then three inside of him. Hanbin whines again, hips rocking down to try to get Matthew deeper, hole clenching as the vibrator keeps working his cunt.
Matthew pulls out with an apologetic kiss to Hanbin’s back and rushes to shove his sweatpants and underwear down his legs, freeing his erection.
“Hao hyung, um, do we have…?”
Hao tosses him a half-empty bottle of lube before he can finish the question, reaching for his phone, as well. Matthew slicks up his cock, then pauses again, hovering in awkward uncertainty.
“And, uh, a condom?”
“Not necessary,” Zhang Hao says mildly, as though that declaration doesn’t just about cave Matthew’s head in.
He swallows—a pathetic gulp that Hao grins at—and settles against the curve of Hanbin’s ass, parting his cheeks to guide himself into position. Hao turns the vibrator up just as Matthew sinks past Hanbin’s stretched rim and Hanbin cries out, half-sobbing through a sudden, wrenching orgasm. Matthew groans, dizzy at the spasm of Hanbin’s walls around his cock, at the buzz of the vibrator he can feel through the fragile, thin barrier of skin.
Zhang Hao remains calm, tapping Hanbin’s cheek as Hanbin pants open-mouthed against his cunt. “Hanbin-ah,” he chides. “Did I say you could stop?”
“Sorry,” Hanbin manages to hiccup, still dazed as the vibrator rapidly pushes him towards a second orgasm. “Sorry, gege.”
He gets back to work as Matthew finishes sinking in to the hilt—hips flush, hands gripping Hanbin’s waist hard enough that there will probably be marks in the morning, lost in the hot clutch of Hanbin’s body.
“Fuck,” he gasps, “fuck, hyung, he’s so tight.”
He’s only done this with Hanbin twice before: once back when they were in their fumbling hookup stage and Hanbin stopped them halfway through, in too much pain to continue; and once after Hao, after debut, when they took a short trip to Jeju just the three of them and Hao spread Hanbin out on a bed much like this one, showing Matthew how to methodically take him apart.
It’s a little more intense than Hanbin’s cunt and that makes Matthew nervous, still remembering the way Hanbin’s face twisted up in a grimace, the hiss that punched out from clenched teeth, the hitch in his voice as he said stop, wait, stop in English. So he starts slow even though he knows that Hanbin can take him now, that the sounds leaking from Hanbin’s mouth are ones of pleasure. He pulls back until just the head of his cock is still inside, teasing at Hanbin’s rim, then sinks in deep again.
“Ah,” Hanbin mewls, fingers scraping against Hao’s thighs, lips still pressed to Hao’s folds. “Ah, gege, Matthew-yah, ‘m gonna—”
He comes again with a hitching moan, a few tears dripping down his cheeks, and Matthew pauses to let him shiver through the orgasm. Hao still hasn’t lowered the setting on the vibrator and Matthew reaches between Hanbin’s legs, feeling wet streaked all down the insides of his thighs.
“How does he feel?” Hao asks, petting Hanbin’s hair and shifting his hips so Hanbin’s mouth is sealed over his opening again. His chest hitches visibly when Hanbin’s tongue must sink inside, but he doesn’t move his gaze away from Matthew.
“So good,” Matthew breathes, keeping the languid pace because any faster and he knows he’ll come far too quickly. “He keeps clenching around me and it’s—hah, f-fuck—it’s intense. I can feel it in his cunt, too, when he’s coming.”
“Mmm,” Hao says, a little wistful. Matthew knows from experience that Hao wishes he could feel it the same way—that he had an actual cock to fuck Hanbin with—but he doesn’t say anything tonight, turning his attention to Hanbin, who is still curling his tongue into Hao’s wet hole, teary and glassy-eyed.
“And you, baby? How do you feel?”
“Full,” Hanbin slurs. “‘M so full and ‘m—oh—” He comes for a third time, openly crying now as his body shakes. “Gege,” he hiccups, pressing his forehead to Hao’s stomach. “‘S too much, gege, please….”
Matthew stills immediately, panting and so close he can feel the tight, coiled burn of it in his gut, but willing to stop if Hanbin needs him to.
“Hanbinie, color?” Zhang Hao asks, brushing Hanbin’s sweaty bangs out of his eyes.
“Green,” Hanbin says after a moment. “‘S s-so—mmmm—intense, but ‘m okay.”
“Good,” Zhang Hao murmurs. “You’re doing so good, baby. Make me come now, hmm? And let Matthew come in you. Fill you up.”
God. God.
Matthew groans, forehead pressed to Hanbin’s shoulder as he picks up speed, chasing his own orgasm. He can hear the slick sounds of Hanbin sucking Hao’s clit back into his mouth, messy and eager, and they pair so prettily with the soft, repeated ah, ah, ah noises spilling from Hao’s lips as Hanbin pushes him towards the edge.
Matthew comes first, shoving into Hanbin’s pliant body as deep as he can and spilling in hot, jerking pulses. Hanbin whines softly against Hao’s cunt at the feel of it, clenching tight around Matthew’s cock to milk him through the orgasm. Hao grips Hanbin’s head, dragging his cunt over Hanbin’s mouth and chin, all the way up to his nose, as he takes his own pleasure, tips himself over with Hanbin’s tongue flicking frantically over the pink, swollen head of his clit. He’s gorgeous when it happens—the long line of his throat and legs, the heave of his stomach, the tremble of his soft thighs.
As soon as he’s come down, he murmurs, “Matthew-yah, stay in him—” and dials the vibrator to the highest setting. Hanbin is forced to muffle a scream into the mattress as a fourth orgasm is wrenched from him.
This time, Matthew pushes his fingers in alongside the vibrator to feel the flutter of his cunt, the hot gush of come and fluid that spills out, trickling down the inside of his legs. His hole clenches again, squeezing Matthew’s softening cock so tightly that he has to scrape his teeth over the back of Hanbin’s shoulder to quell his own shout.
Hanbin’s crying fully now, face messy and blotchy—streaked with tears and Hao’s slick—and even though Matthew knows he’s okay, he still hasn’t been able to fully quell his alarm when this happens.
“Hyung-ah,” he soothes, draping over Hanbin’s back to kiss his neck, the trembling line of jaw, tasting Hao on his skin. “I’ve got you.”
Hao shuts off the vibrator, sensing that Hanbin needs a break, and reaches down to ease it out of him. Matthew has to suppress a whine at the come that coats it, especially when Hao reaches up to smear it across his lips and says, “Clean it up for us, Matthew-yah.”
Matthew dutifully sucks it into his mouth, moaning at the bitter tang of Hanbin’s spend as he licks it from the silicone, aware of the combined heat of Hao and Hanbin’s gazes on him. They love putting things in his mouth—it would be annoying if Matthew didn’t also love it so much. He doesn’t even complain when Hao pushes it in deeper, makes him choke on it before he drags it free with a slick pop.
“Good boy,” he says and Matthew tries not to flush too obviously. He likes that, too, and Hao always weaponizes it. “Did it taste good?”
“Yeah,” Matthew rasps for Hanbin’s benefit, as well as Hao’s, feeling Hanbin shudder in his arms. “You know I love it—how both of you taste.”
He ate them both out the same time once, taking turns between them while Hao pulled at his hair and breathed which one of us tastes, sweeter, Matthew-yah like it was a question Matthew could answer when he’d been stripped down to the ache of his jaw, to the feel and smell of them everywhere.
Hao hums an agreement and sets the vibrator on the side table, then wiggles down so he can plaster himself to Hanbin’s front, long arms stretching to encompass Matthew too.
“You did amazing, baby,” he murmurs against the shell of Hanbin’s ear. “So good for us. How are you feeling?”
“Mmm,” Hanbin hiccups, but manages a nod. “‘M okay. Just … just need a moment, sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Matthew insists, squeezing Hanbin’s waist.
Hanbin’s always so hard on himself, even in bed, and it drives Matthew mad. In all the years they’ve known each other, he’s never been able to fix it, not completely.
(I think we just love him, Hao tells him, head pillowed on Matthew’s stomach as they nap together in between music show takes. And that’s the best we can do.)
“Sorry,” Hanbin mutters in English, instinctively apologizing for apologizing and Matthew snorts at him.
“Gonna pull out, okay?”
At Hanbin’s nod, Matthew carefully eases out of him, swallowing through a fresh rush of heat at the sight of his loose hole, the thin trail of semen dripping out. He spreads Hanbin’s cheeks, making him gape a little more, and wants to taste him, sink his tongue all the way in, but he won’t without Hao’s permission.
“Put the plug back in,” Hao instructs him, still cradling Hanbin against his chest, and Matthew retrieves it from where he cast it aside on the mattress. Just to be safe, he slicks it with fresh lube, but Hanbin’s so relaxed that it goes in easy and Hanbin sighs at the stretch.
“Good?” Zhang Hao asks him, tender and amused.
“Good,” Hanbin murmurs, gaze a little foggy.
“Good,” Zhang Hao says and they all giggle.
Zhang Hao holds out an arm. “Come here, Mashu-yah. Let’s breathe a minute.”
Matthew comes eagerly, helping Hao lay Hanbin down between them and tucking himself against Hanbin’s front while Hao hugs him from behind, pulling the blanket over the three of them. From this position, Matthew can nuzzle Hanbin’s cheek affectionately, touching their foreheads together, and then lean up to brush his lips over Hao’s. It’s perfect, all safe, cloying warmth, and he sighs in contentment when Hao pets his hair and Hanbin kisses the corner of his mouth.
“I wasn’t too hard on you, right, hyung?” Matthew can’t help asking.
Hanbin shakes his head against the pillow. “That was all Hao.”
Hao pinches his hip, kisses his shoulder. “Ya, you like it, Sung Hanbin. Don’t complain.”
“‘M not,” Hanbin says, still too floaty to tease back to the extent he normally would. “I love it. ‘M just pointing out facts.”
“Hmm,” Hao says dubiously and when Hanbin twists to look up at him with big, innocent eyes, he folds like paper, bending down to seal his mouth over Hanbin’s.
They’re disgusting.
Matthew loves them.
_ _
Ironically, hilariously, he was first. Both times.
Years before Boys Planet, he met Hanbin as a fellow hopeful, wide-eyed trainee. Hanbin, perhaps sensing Matthew’s homesickness, fear, and loneliness that he was projecting like a beacon, took care of him from day one. He was the perfect hyung, providing a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear, making sure Matthew slept and ate and always knew someone was in his corner.
Of course, Matthew fell in love, though he had no clue what kind of love it was at the beginning. He just knew that he adored Hanbin, looked up to him, and when Hanbin said I’m trans one night in the dark—a whispered confession full of uncharacteristic fear, Matthew held it gently in his palms and said, that’s okay, hyung. That doesn’t change anything.
Then one night spent getting tipsy on convenience store beer, trying to escape the pressures of Cube, the loom of Matthew’s potential departure. They’re walking back to the dorms, arm in arm, when Hanbin tugs him into an alley off the main road and kisses him there in the shadows—hands on his face, mouth eager and messy, drawing him to nearly his tiptoes from their height difference—and something clicks suddenly and violently into place.
Oh, Matthew thinks, dazed. I love this.
That Hanbin is a man. That Hanbin is bigger and taller and can tilt his face up to find a better angle to lick into his open, panting mouth. That when Hanbin gets a muscular thigh between his legs, he almost lifts Matthew straight off the ground.
They kiss for ages, until their mouths go numb and the cold autumn chill sneaks beneath their layers. When Hanbin finally pulls back, he looks terrified, stunned.
“Oh, god, I—”
“Nope,” Matthew says, clinging to Hanbin’s shoulders. “Nope it’s fine, I’m bi.”
Hanbin blinks. “You are?”
“As of like five minutes ago, definitely.”
“Oh,” Hanbin whispers, stunned.
“And I’m absolutely going to have a crisis about it,” Matthew continues because he can feel it looming, already pushing at this safe bubble they’ve created. “But if you’re here, I think I’ll be fine.”
Hanbin’s expression goes so soft and loving that it floors him.
Has he always looked at me like that?
“I’m here,” Hanbin says, stroking his cheek. “I’ll always be here.”
The crisis was intense, but mercifully brief. Matthew decided he already had enough to worry about besides his sexuality and if being bi meant also being with Hanbin that was absolutely a net positive. Still, they eased into the rest. Sex was fraught for a while between the crisis and Hanbin’s dysphoria, but they managed in starts and stops, trial and error—two fumbling virgins letting their mutual adoration guide them.
(I like this, Hanbin breathes against his neck—knees pressed to Matthew’s twin mattress on either side of Matthew’s hips; Matthew’s cock buried in his cunt; Matthew’s arms around him. It feels like I shouldn’t, like it’s bad that I do.
No, hyung, Matthew gasps, out of his depth, aching, aching, aching. No, it isn’t. It isn’t.)
They never defined what they were, though. Never used labels, never declared themselves boyfriends. There was too much uncertainty in their future, especially after Hanbin left the company and broke Matthew’s heart a little in the process.
And then there was Boys Planet. And Zhang Hao. Cool, shining, brilliant Zhang Hao.
Matthew was enamored from the minute they ended up on the same team for Kill This Love, a crush at the level he hadn’t experienced since Hanbin. It was a little embarrassing, especially since Zhang Hao seemed so aloof, so calm. But it didn’t take him long to realize that Zhang Hao was mostly just shy, that Zhang Hao liked him too, and that Zhang Hao didn’t do hookups, even though it was definitely happening amongst other boys. But he was willing to make out with Matthew in the laundry room, laughing about how he hadn’t picked up a boy this fast since leaving Fujian and cooing at the riotous blush on Matthew’s cheeks.
I’m trans, he whispered to Matthew as their performance day loomed around the corner. Don’t tell anyone.
I won’t, he said to Zhang Hao, awed by Zhang Hao’s trust in him. Thank you for telling me, hyung, it’s safe with me. Zhang Hao held him tightly—older but so cute, in need of reassurance after offering up such a vulnerable piece of himself.
Matthew held him back and thought about odds, about orchestrations of the universe, and he needs to talk to Hanbin.
So it was Matthew who formally introduced them to each other, then watched as they collided like fated stars. A red string kind of love. A fairytale kind of love. One that comes in like the ocean, roaring and sweeping, ready to drown you. It took weeks, days, and they were wrapped up in each other’s gravitational orbits, spinning around and around, all heart-eyed, all luminous.
He’s like me, Hanbin breathed to Matthew, wondrous. I can’t believe it, Matthew-yah, he’s just like me. Already, love was bleeding out of him, coating his voice, softening his face whenever he even glanced in Zhang Hao’s direction, dripping into every touch to Zhang Hao’s body, every late night creeping out of the dorm together, hand in hand.
Well, Matthew thought and tried not to be bitter. Exit stage left.
He focused on the competition. Fought and scraped and bled his way to third. First, second, third—almost funny if his heart didn’t still feel cracked. Elation warred with devastation. He’d made it; he was losing them both.
(Though wasn’t that presumptuous of him? When he’d never really had either of them in the first place?)
He told himself that he would be okay eventually, that he was happy for them, truly. Really. One hundred percent. Just let him casually flirt with some of the other members and nurse the ache inside of him until he couldn’t feel it anymore and he would be fine. Right as fucking rain.
Then, during the whirlwind that is Camp Zerobaseone—amidst clear attempts by the company to shove him in and Hanbin together because that was preferable to Hanbin and Hao, and Matthew wondered what would happen if he pointed out that he has absolutely fucked Hanbin too—Zhang Hao pulls him out of the camper in the middle of the night.
“Wha—” He mumbles, still mostly asleep and barefoot as Hao half leads, half drags him down to the banks of the river, out of earshot of the other members and the staff. “Is this … an attempted murder?”
“No,” Hao says. He looks nervous, even in this thick country darkness, and he holds Matthew’s hands like he’s afraid Matthew is going to run away. “No, I’m sorry, I just really needed to talk to you and they won’t put us on the same team and there are fucking cameras everywhere so I thought now would be best.”
“Oh,” Matthew says, trying to get the rest of his brain online. “What about?”
“Hanbin.”
Matthew stiffens, awareness sweeping in with a vengeance. Suddenly, he can feel the cold seeping through his t-shirt, the soles of his feet. He wants to go back to bed. He doesn’t want to talk about Hanbin with Hao, or at all.
“It’s okay, hyung,” he says. “I won’t get in the way.” He’s been so good, he’d like to point out, at giving them space.
Hao’s face contorts in frustration. “That’s not it.”
“Then … what?”
“You know he loves you, right?” Hao blurts.
This whole conversation is so confusing. “Of course he loves me. He’s a good hyung.”
“No, not like that.”
“I don’t … what are you trying to say?” Matthew asks. “He doesn’t love me like he loves you and that’s fine, hyung. I’ve seen the two of you.” He waves vaguely at Hao. “Straight out of a drama.”
“Okay, yes, it’s been a bit intense,” Hao concedes.
“A bit?”
“A lot,” Hao amends. “But I ….” Another pause. “If I hadn’t met Hanbin, I would have gone on a date with you, you know? If you’d asked me after Boys Planet. I liked you a lot. Right from the beginning.”
Now Matthew decides to operate under the new theory that he’s dreaming. “Okay?” He says, blinking in confusion. “I’m not really following any of this, hyung.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Hao says with another grimace. “I’m bad at this. I’m bad at Korean too, so that isn’t helping.”
“Your Korean is great,” Matthew insists on knee-jerk defense. “Better than mine sometimes.”
Hao squeezes his hands. Takes a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is that Hanbin is still in love with you. And I like you too. And I know you’ve been sad since the end of the show, even though you’re really good at hiding it when you want to be. So I was thinking maybe … it could be the three of us.”
Matthew’s jaw drops open. Okay, yep. Definitely a dream.
He barks out a disbelieving laugh. Hao flinches. “Ha, good one, hyung. Oh my god, I’m gonna tell the real you about this in the morning, you’re not going to believe it—”
“Matthew-yah, you’re not dreaming,” Hao says in exasperation. “And I’m being serious. Really serious.”
Matthew stills in shock. It’s so hard to make out the details of Hao’s features and Matthew wishes he could. But Hao is stiff, wrists tense in Matthew’s grip, and his gaze keeps sliding away the way it always does when he gets anxious or shy.
“Oh my god,” Matthew breathes again in English. “You are? You’d be okay with sharing Hanbin?”
He’s seen firsthand how possessive Hao can get, even with their members. Sometimes, Matthew secretly pictures Hao as a territorial fox curled across Hanbin’s shoulders, snapping mine to anyone who gets too close.
A shrug. “I think so? I’m not really viewing this as you and me sharing Hanbin. I’m thinking it’s more of a three-way relationship. We’d be involved too.” He shuffles his feet awkwardly. “If you’d still be interested in that. With me.”
“Yes,” Matthew says immediately and earns a small, hesitant smile from Hao. “So … this is more than just a sex thing?”
Hao nods. “Definitely.”
“And Hanbin knows?”
A wince. “Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first. See where we stand.”
Matthew glances around. “And now was really the best time, hyung?”
Another wince. “I’m sorry, I was so anxious thinking about it that I couldn’t sleep. I decided to just get it over with.”
“Right.” Matthew isn’t sure where to go from here. “Um … I’m not in love with you, though. Yet.”
What Matthew can see of Hao’s expression is soft and amused. “I know, Matthew-yah. I don’t expect you to be. I’m not, either. I figure we have time to figure it out. Especially with Hanbin as common ground.”
Matthew nods dumbly. “Also I, um, don’t have a lot of experience dating? So I have no idea how a relationship is supposed to work with more than two people.”
“Me neither,” Hao confesses. “I think we’ll also figure that out as we go along. I just wanted to know if you were interested.”
“Very.”
It’s a lot to wrap his head around, especially in the middle of the night, shivering in his pajamas. But he knows that he wants this. That much is a given. Presuming this isn’t an elaborate dream, in spite of what Hao said.
“That’s good,” Hao replies, still a little halting and awkward. “I’m glad.” He rubs his thumbs over the backs of Matthew’s hands in warm sweeps. “We should go back to bed.”
“Yah, at least give me a goodnight kiss since you dragged me out here,” Matthew whines, just to push, to experiment, and Hao’s expression lights up adorably.
“I guess that can be arranged,” he mumbles and draws Matthew in.
Matthew rocks up on his tiptoes and it’s just as good as the laundry room in Planet Camp. Hao kisses with the same deliberate thoroughness—controlling hand at Matthew’s nape, the other digging into Matthew’s hip, tongue in Matthew’s mouth.
When he finally pulls back they’re both flushed.
“We’ll talk to Hanbin,” Hao declares. “When we’re back in Seoul.”
“Okay,” Matthew says and practically floats back to bed, settling down next to a still-sleeping Hanbin.
He lifts his head when Matthew crawls in next to him, eyes squinting. “Mattchu?”
“Just went to the bathroom, hyung,” Matthew soothes, pushing Hanbin gently back to the mattress. “Get some more sleep.”
“Oh,” Hanbin says and cuddles into his side, tucking his face into the side of Matthew’s neck.
Matthew holds him tightly and hopes once again that he isn’t dreaming.
_ _
“Hanbin-ah,” Hao murmurs, all of them a little sleepy now. “You still up for round two?”
“Yes,” Hanbin rasps, shifting onto his back between them. “I’ve been thinking about it all day.”
Which means Hao must have planned this earlier, maybe whispered in his ear before they went for their separate activities, riling him up.
Hao grins, sliding a hand beneath the covers. Matthew feels a brush against his thigh before Hao finds Hanbin’s cunt, sinks fingers inside with a lewd squelch that shouldn’t be as hot as it is. Hanbin’s lips part immediately, forming a surprised O as Hao expertly locates his G-spot. The heat returns quickly, licking down Matthew’s spine as he watches the pleasure break across Hanbin’s face.
“Can I?” he asks Hao, waggling his own fingers, and Hao nods.
Matthew mouths at Hanbin’s neck as he rubs over his mound, combing his fingers through the coarse strands of pubic hair before he slides a finger in alongside Hao’s, stretching Hanbin to three inside of him. He’s still so wet for them—all steam hot and open from the vibrator earlier, a little sloppy. It’s easy to fit another in, making him take four as he whimpers at the graze of Matthew’s knuckles against his swollen clit.
“Four orgasms and you’re still so greedy for it,” Hao teases. He pushes at Hanbin’s slick walls, stretching him further, and Matthew mirrors him. Hanbin gasps at the ceiling, thighs quivering, though he manages to keep his restless hips still.
“Hah,” he hiccups, unable to mount a defense. Matthew mouths at the curve of his shoulder, the shell of his ear, and strokes roughly over the swell of his clit with his thumb.
Hanbin keens, turning to press his nose to Zhang Hao’s cheek. “Too much,” he sobs out. “‘Want it with you in me, please.”
“Okay,” Hao agrees softly. “Matthew-yah, will you get my harness? It’s in my suitcase.”
“I can’t believe you packed that,” Matthew mumbles, reluctantly pulling away with a final kiss to Hanbin’s sweaty temple.
Hao shrugs. “I knew we’d have a night to ourselves. It was easy to hide under clothes and we didn’t have to deal with cameras while we’re packing.” He arches an eyebrow, chin on Hanbin’s shoulder. “Do you really want to complain?”
“No, sir,” Matthew says in English and locates the harness and a dildo tucked away near the bottom of Hao’s suitcase. It’s one of his bigger ones, around seven inches probably, and a pretty shade of pale pink because Hao is Hao.
He sets them both on the bed and Hao gives him a kiss in thanks.
“Who’s going where?” He asks as he settles next to Hanbin again and Hanbin snorts at his phrasing, but doesn’t offer up an opinion. They both know it’s going to be Hao’s call.
“Mmm, I want his cunt,” Hao decides. “You can have his ass again. Get him even messier.”
Matthew’s teeth sink into his lower lip as another rush of heat pulses in his abdomen. Honestly, if someone told little trainee Matthew that in a couple years he’d be having regular sex with not one, but two of the prettiest, hottest men on the planet, he would have thought they were playing a cruel joke. It feels absurd to be here, sometimes, to be included.
“Okay,” he manages, voice a squeak, and Hao smirks at him.
Hanbin laughs softly, though he still looks breathless. “‘M glad I affect you that much, Seokmae.”
“Oh please, hyung,” Matthew says without shame, “do you remember how fast I came the first time we fucked? Do you think anything’s changed?”
“No,” Hanbin says, pleased.
“I’m still sorry I wasn’t there to witness that,” Hao says as he wiggles into the harness, fastening it around his narrow, gorgeous waist. He finally pulls his baggy shirt off—a little more self-conscious about his chest than Hanbin tends to be—and Matthew has to stamp down the sudden urge to sink his teeth into the soft skin of his belly, lick along the scars under his pectorals. Maybe later Hao’ll let him.
“Don’t be,” he says. “It was soo awkward.”
Hanbin nods. “We had no idea what we were doing.”
“It was not hot.”
Hanbin shifts to smile up at him. “It was a little. You were very cute.”
“I came, like, as soon as I got inside you, hyung.”
“And that was cute!”
Hao laughs affectionately at them. “Glad I showed up, then.”
“Mmm,” Hanbin agrees, pressing a kiss to Hao’s skin above the line of the harness. “So glad you’re here, jagi.” He laughs. “Though Matthew came just as fast fucking you the first time too, remember?”
Matthew stares at the ceiling, cheeks flushed. “You’re both very sexy,” he mutters. “What do you expect?”
Hao pinches his red face affectionately. “Hanbin is right, it was very cute.”
(Hao laughed at him, when it happened, but it wasn’t a mean laugh. I’m flattered, he said as Matthew whined in pathetic embarrassment and eased Matthew’s cock out of his ass. Lie down, he said, shuffling on his knees until he was straddling Matthew’s face, and give me your mouth instead.
It was so hot that Matthew almost died, but that’s also a common occurrence.)
Hanbin squeezes his hip now, kisses his side. “Seriously, though, Matthew-yah, you’ve made me feel so good about my body. I love you for that.”
“Mmm,” Hao agrees with a nod.
“Shut up,” Matthew says because they cannot make him cry in the middle of a threesome. “I love you, it isn’t a hardship.”
Hanbin kisses his skin again, eyes a little shiny too.
“Okay, enough sap,” Hao declares, though he’s smiling his tender, loving smile that makes him look so cute that Matthew regularly wants to squish him. “Hanbin-ah, you’re going to ride me and Matthew, you can take him from behind. Just let me get inside first.”
God, they’re really doing this. Matthew nods, watching Hao settle comfortably against the pillows. He slicks up the silicone cock with lube, stroking it slowly before he beckons Hanbin closer. Hanbin crawls over him, replacing Hao’s hand with his own as he carefully guides the dildo inside of him. Matthew swallows a groan at the sight of it disappearing into Hanbin’s cunt, stretching him open. A low whine spills past Hanbin’s teeth as he takes it all the way in, only stopping when his hips are flush with the harness.
“Oh, baby,” Hao breathes, reverent. “You’re still so tight. How does it feel?”
“Good,” Hanbin manages. “Big.”
“Look at you.” Hao brushes lightly over Hanbin’s clit and his cunt clenches around the cock. “Already so close.” He glances over. “Better get in him, Matthew-yah.”
Matthew scrambles into position, settling at Hanbin’s back as he strokes his cock to full hardness again, thanking the universe for the gift of his short refractory period. It helps that when he pulls the plug out, it’s stained with come that spills down the back of Hanbin’s thigh, and that might be one of the hottest things he’s ever seen. God, Hanbin is going to be so messy by the time they’re done with him.
“Okay, hyung,” he says. “Stay relaxed for me.” He eases in for the second time that night, marveling at how well Hanbin takes him, even though his rim is puffy and swollen from the earlier fucking. He’s still hot and wet inside from lube and come, and Matthew can feel the weight of Hao’s cock in his cunt, the pressure of it against his own.
Fuck.
Hanbin sobs as Matthew bottoms out, shuddering between them. “Oh,” he whimpers. “Oh ‘m so full.”
“Color?” Hao asks him, cupping his face to catch his tears. “You okay, baby?”
Hanbin nods vigorously. “Green, green, ‘s good, it’s so good, gege, oh my god.”
“Matthew-yah?” Hao checks too.
“I think I’m gonna die,” Matthew declares, dizzy, and Hanbin giggles.
“Right, so all good,” Hao says, laughing quietly too. He drops his head back against the pillows, squeezes Hanbin’s hips. “Then, Matthew-yah, you set the pace.”
Oh. That’s more control than Matthew expected to be given.
“Right,” he says. “Okay.” He sets his hands just above Zhang Hao’s, fanning over Hanbin’s ribs. “Here we go.”
And he moves.
_ _
It’s messy, at first. Matthew isn’t surprised. This is their first time doing anything like this and they’re idols on top of it, speedrunning a career so fast that sometimes it’s hard to even breathe. The days and weeks blur together into a collage of schedules, practices, and performances. Sleep winnows down to the hours they can steal in green rooms or studios or the back of vans.
It’s overwhelming. They learn as they go.
First is that Hao doesn’t really like anything in his cunt, except maybe the occasional toy.
“My ass is fine,” he says. “I like that. But I don’t want to be fucked in the front.” He gestures to his crotch with a grimace and Hanbin flushes.
“Oh,” he says softly, with something dangerously close to shame. “I like that. A lot.”
Hao threads their fingers together, expression open and earnest. “And that’s fine, Hanbinie. Everyone’s different. There’s nothing wrong with wanting that.”
“I am happy to provide either way,” Matthew says solemnly, hand to his chest, and that successfully diffuses the tension in the room.
Second is that Hao likes being in charge, but he’s gentle with it. Says shyly that he likes being bossy but he doesn’t want to be mean. Not really.
“It’s okay,” Hanbin assures. “If you were too mean, Seokmae would cry.”
“Yah!” Matthew declares, smacking him. “So would you!”
Hanbin nods. “I would. And I think it, um,” he worries at his lip. Drops his voice to a whisper as he confesses, “I think it would be very bad for my brain.”
A brain that is already so hard on him—mean enough on its own that Matthew aches sometimes.
“You can tease me and stuff, though.” He smiles for them, eyes sparkling. “I like that.”
“No shit,” Matthew says, thinking how much Hanbin likes to poke at him, just to get him to whine indignantly because Hanbin says it’s cute.
But it’s not all easy. They try, at first, going off in pairs—Hao and Hanbin, Hanbin and Matthew, occasionally Hao and Matthew. Matthew is fine with it, doesn’t mind when Hao and Hanbin want time to themselves, but he can see it’s not the same for the two of them. They’re still possessive, easily jealous—Hao most of all. It boils under the surface, hotter and hotter, until it spills scalding across the three of them. A fight that gets nasty, plenty of tears, and finally a compromise: if they’re together without the third person, they’ll always send at least one picture to help them feel included. A snapshot of the date or if it’s just sex, something from that too.
Soon, Matthew has a secret folder on his phone that is full of pictures of food and Seoul streets mixed with pretty much softcore porn. It’s ridiculous, but he loves it when he gets a new one: a dish they insist he has to come try or Hao on his knees with his tongue in Hanbin’s cunt—they both feel equally important, even though he knows that sounds insane.
They’re just all part of a mosaic, right? One being laid tile by tile, and isn’t it all beautiful?
(He tries to convey this to Gunwook once and all he gets for his trouble is retching noises.)
Six months in, Matthew thinks they’ve gained a decent equilibrium. Of course, that’s when Hanbin throws them a curveball. He takes them out to dinner first and Hao and Matthew exchange knowing looks over the table as he fidgets the whole time, clearly building up to something.
“I was thinking,” he finally says once they’ve paid the bill and are walking back to the dorm down a quiet side street. “Maybe sometimes the two of you could just use me? And I, um, I wouldn’t have a say in it? Like when it happens?”
Matthew nearly collides with a lamppost while Hao chokes on an inhale. Because, look, they’re technically a polycule and that’s unconventional in and of itself, but they haven’t really been kinky. It’s been great, fantastic, but pretty vanilla sex up until this point. This? This sounds like something out of porn.
“Hyung, what?”
Hanbin stops walking—so red, he’s practically glowing under the streetlamps. “I just…” He stares at the ground. “When you take control, you and Hao, it really gets me out of my head. And that’s so nice when there’s so much in there all the time, you know? And I have to be in charge of so much, that I think it’s driving me crazy and so it would be nice to give up something. To let someone else dictate a part of my life and I thought that sex would be the easiest part because I trust the two of you and I know you’d never hurt me, but I totally understand if it’s too weird or too much or—”
“Baby,” Zhang Hao shuffles forward and puts a gentle hand over Hanbin’s mouth to stop the anxious torrent. “Baby, it’s okay. You just surprised us.”
Matthew nods. “Yeah,” he croaks. Then tries to figure out how he feels about it.
Objectively it’s hot—being able to have Hanbin whenever he wants. Isn’t that like every dude’s fantasy? But once he looks past that, uncertainty squirms in his stomach. He doesn’t want to treat Hanbin like an object. That feels bad. Gross, even.
“Seokmae?” Hanbin asks, still anxious.
“You’re not a thing, though,” Matthew blurts. “I don’t—I can’t treat you like some thing, hyung.”
“I know,” Hanbin says earnestly. “You wouldn’t be. I’d like it. I’d want it and if I really didn’t, I’d tell you no.”
“You swear?” Matthew says and Hanbin nods.
“Cross my heart.” He shifts his attention. “Gege?”
Zhang Hao shrugs. “You already know how I feel about owning you,” he mutters, a little embarrassed himself. “But like Matthew you said, you’re precious to me. I don’t want to … abuse anything. But as long as you’re consenting and you communicate with us, I’d like it.” He noses at Hanbin’s cheek, kisses him there as he murmurs in Hanbin’s ear, “you know how much I’d like it.”
“That is part of why I asked, yes,” Hanbin says.
Wow. Okay, so they’re doing this.
They do lay out some ground rules because they’re (mostly) responsible adults: nothing in public, ever; be conscientious of schedules, work always needs to come first; Hanbin can always say no and will be immediately listened to; be conscientious of their dorm-mates, as well (“I don’t want to be murdered, and Taerae is fully capable of that.”).
And then they’re off to the races, or something. Bad metaphor because in truth, Matthew is hesitant. Hao literally bends Hanbin over the bathroom sink the next morning—hand over Hanbin’s mouth to muffle his sounds as Hao fingers him to orgasm. But that’s Hao and Matthew has long accepted that Hao is special, that red string love.
“Why are you so nervous?” Hanbin asks him a week later when Matthew still hasn’t made a single move, plopping into his lap to squish his face and making Matthew instantly die to Lizalfos in Tears of the Kingdom.
Matthew sighs and dumps his Switch on the bed, winding his arms around Hanbin’s waist.
“I just … you’re my hyung,” Matthew says, forehead to Hanbin’s shoulder. “It feels weird.”
“Mattchu, you’re only a year younger than me,” Hanbin points out.
“Logically, I know that, but come on, you know what our usual dynamic is. It’s hard to just cast that aside and, like, be in control of you.”
“We don’t have to,” Hanbin says, though he sounds a bit disappointed. “It can just be something Hao and I do, if you’re not comfortable with it.”
“No, but I want to,” Matthew says petulantly. “Really. I just have to get out of my own way.”
Hanbin glances at the closed door, tilted his head to listen. The dorm is mostly quiet. Taerae is out visiting Evnne, Hao went shopping with a friend, Yujin is at school, Jiwoong has probably snuck away to see Seobin, and Gunwook, Ricky, and Gyuvin all blew out like a tornado a few hours ago, declaring they were going to a movie.
It’s actually no surprise Hanbin chose to talk to him now.
“Okay,” Hanbin says. “Tell me what to do. Anything you want, I’ll listen.”
Matthew swallows, mouth dry. “Get on your knees?”
It doesn’t sound very authoritative, but they all know Matthew isn’t built to be some assertive dom. Hanbin still sinks to his knees on the floor anyway, blinking up at him expectantly.
“Wait, shit.” Matthew snatches a pillow off the bed for Hanbin to rest on and Hanbin’s smile turns tender.
“I really love you, Matthew-yah,” he murmurs, kissing Matthew’s knee. Matthew’s chest aches.
“I love you too, hyung.”
“Now come on,” Hanbin coaxes. “Use me.”
So Matthew does. First Hanbin’s mouth and then his cunt, and Hanbin takes it all beautifully, panting into Matthew’s neck as Matthew fucks him on the bed, reduced to a string of noises punched out of his mouth with each rough thrust. Matthew pulls out to come on his stomach, then gets fingers around his clit to make him come too. He shoves the hem of his shirt into his mouth to muffle his loud cry at the orgasm that tears through him, gaze glassy in a way that Matthew has only seen Hao achieve before.
It makes him feel weirdly proud.
He remembers to take a picture for Hao of Hanbin’s messy stomach and glistening inner thighs before he finds a towel to clean them up.
When Hao comes home a few hours later, he drapes dramatically over them both. “Wah, you had so much fun without me.” But there’s a pleased glint in his eye, directed at Matthew.
“Hao,” Hanbin says in exasperation. “You can literally have me anytime you want, including now.”
“Mmm,” Hao says and elbows them apart so he can squeeze between them, ignoring Matthew’s quiet oof as he’s hit in the stomach. “You’re all sleepy, though. I don’t want to wear you out too much. It’s okay.” Another grin at Matthew. “I enjoyed the evidence.”
He pecks the corner of Matthew’s mouth and then Hanbin’s before he pulls the covers over the three of them, seemingly content to nap crammed together on Matthew’s bed.
We’re going to be okay, Matthew thinks. Something in him settles, that he didn’t realize has been out of place. We’re going to be good.
_ _
Hanbin is crying again, silent tears running down his cheeks as they guide him forward onto Hao’s cock and then back onto Matthew’s. Matthew can’t imagine how overwhelming it must feel, how stretched and full and overstimulated Hanbin must be, especially four orgasms in already. His walls keep spasming, tightening around Matthew’s cock and each thrust lets Matthew also feel Hao buried in his cunt—all solid weight and pressure.
“F-fuck,” Hanbin sobs as Hao adjusts his angle, managing to drag right over his g-spot.
It’s enough to tip Hanbin into his fifth orgasm of the night and he shakes from the force of it, fluid spilling in a wet, messy gush onto Hao’s thighs.
“Oh, baby,” Hao groans. The blunt end of the dildo is rubbing against his clit with the helpless rock of Hanbin’s hips and he’s clearly wet too, thighs shiny. “You’re doing so well. You can take it, just a little more.”
“Gege,” Hanbin hiccups, scratching lines into Hao’s shoulders as Matthew keeps going, chasing his own climax.
“‘M close,” he promises Hanbin, gripping Hanbin’s waist tightly. “‘M so close, hyung, you’re amazing. You feel so good. Can’t believe you’re taking us both like this.”
“Matthew,” Hanbin rasps. “Matthew, please.”
“Come on, Matthew,” Hao says, peering up at him with a challenge in his gaze. “Take him apart. We both know how much he wants it.”
So Matthew rests his forehead between Hanbin’s shoulder blades and picks up the pace, slamming in deep and making Hanbin yelp softly at the rough treatment. Heat winds tighter and tighter in his belly, like a tensing spring. He fucks Hanbin messy, frantic, until Hanbin goes limp in his grip, simply taking it.
With another sharp punch of his hips, Matthew finally comes, stilling to spill inside Hanbin, gasping against his spine. Hao gets fingers around Hanbin’s clit, stroking him at a brutal pace, and claps a firm hand over Hanbin’s mouth to quiet his scream as he shivers through his sixth orgasm. Matthew moans at the feel of it, then carefully pulls his softening cock free of the clutch of Hanbin’s hole.
“Easy, hyung,” he says as Hanbin chokes on a fresh sob. “We’ve got you, we’ve got you.”
He helps Hao lift Hanbin gently off Hao’s cock, laying him down on his side so Hao can cuddle him once he’s freed himself of the harness.
“You were amazing,” Hao coos. “I love you.”
“Love you,” Hanbin manages to mumble back, looking mostly out of it.
Matthew brushes a hand over Hao’s hip. “Hyung, did you come?”
Hao shakes his head and Matthew scoots closer, palm on Hao’s stomach. “Can I help you?”
After a moment of deliberation Hao nods and turns onto his back. Hanbin tucks into his side, chin on his shoulder to watch as Matthew touches his clit, circling over the head before stroking it between his fore and middle fingers.
Hao groans, tipping his head back as his hips twitch and his cunt drips fresh slick. He’s so pretty, Matthew thinks, and bends down to kiss gently over Hao’s sternum. Hao doesn’t really like his chest played with, either, saying he doesn’t get much sensation there, but Matthew knows that he enjoys gestures like this: the closeness of it, being cared for in turn.
“Come on, hyung, let us see you,” Matthew murmurs against Hao’s sweaty skin. “You took such good care of us.”
“Mmm,” Hanbin rasps, mouthing at Hao’s neck. “Always looking after us. Love it, love you.”
Hao comes after a few more strokes, swallowing through a loud moan, gripping Hanbin’s hair and Matthew’s wrist as his hips buck and his thighs tremble through the aftershocks.
“That’s it,” Hanbin breathes. “So gorgeous, Hao.”
Hao drags Matthew up for a messy, uncoordinated kiss, then gives Hanbin the same treatment. Matthew collapses half on Hao’s chest, panting quietly.
“I think….” he says once he’s gotten a little of his wits back. “We should try out the jacuzzi.”
Hao huffs a laugh.
“‘M not sure I can stand up,” Hanbin mumbles. “You broke me.”
“It’s okay,” Hao says, petting his head. “Matthew will carry you.”
“Yah,” Matthew protests and Hao pokes his shoulder.
“What else are all these muscles for?”
So Matthew gets up with a groan and locates a pair of underwear that is probably Hanbin’s, retrieving pairs for Hao and Hanbin too.
“I’ll be right back,” Hao promises to Hanbin, rubbing a hand down his back. Hanbin always gets clingy after going to that fuzzy, underwater place, so Matthew quickly takes up cuddling duty, letting Hanbin glomp him like a teddy bear while Hao rinses off the toys in the adjacent bathroom and puts them away.
“Right,” he says when he returns. “Jacuzzi.”
Matthew does end up carrying Hanbin on his back as they creep up the stairs, trying not to make too much noise even though they can still hear a murmur of voices from Ricky’s and Gyuvin’s room, and the sound of a game from Taerae’s and Yujin’s.
It takes some fiddling and trial and error before they get the jacuzzi working properly, but they let out a chorus of pleased groans when they sink into the warm water.
“Oh,” Hanbin murmurs, mostly submerged—all pink and floaty and sleepy. “This is perfect.”
“Told you it was a good idea,” Matthew says as Hao rests his head on Hanbin’s shoulder with another contented sigh.
“It was,” he admits. “I want one of these in the dorm.”
“I’m sure the company would provide one,” Hanbin says sarcastically and Hao puts a hand over his mouth again.
“Shh, don’t mention the evil here.”
Matthew laughs and cups water to pour gently over Hanbin’s nape. “You doing okay, hyung?”
“M sore, but good,” Hanbin promises. He smiles at them both. “Really good.”
“You’ve been so stressed lately,” Hao says, lifting Hanbin’s hand out of the water to kiss the back of it. “Knew we needed to dismantle you a bit.”
“You were right,” Hanbin says. “And you fucked my head empty, congratulations.”
“You’re welcome,” Hao says smugly, squeezing Hanbin’s waist.
They bask in the water until they’re all wrinkled and nearly dozing off. Once they reluctantly leave the jacuzzi, they take turns toweling each other dry and putting on the fluffy, provided robes. At the top of the stairs, Matthew turns in the direction of his and Gunwook’s room and Hanbin snags his hand.
“What are you doing?”
“Um, going to bed?” Matthew says hesitantly, pointing in that direction.
Hanbin has a silent conversation with Hao. “Sleep in with us? The bed’s big enough.”
“Really?” Matthew asks, surprised.
“Of course,” Hao says, taking his other hand. “We want you there.”
Matthew doesn’t know why this feels so unexpected—they’ve shown him over and over that this is a three-way thing, not “Haobin + Matthew” or “Haobin and occasionally Matthew.” Still, they’re so … them. They fit together so well that Matthew still doesn’t always think there is room for him and that’s usually fine, he doesn’t need a star-crossed love. He likes their dynamic.
But it’s nice to be asked, to have a spot in their bed, to be cherished by them. It feels a little like bathing in sunlight and his chest goes all warm and tight as he nods.
“Okay, then I will grace your bed with my presence.”
They both kiss his hands in silent thanks. When they get back to the room and change the sheets, they stubbornly put him in the middle.
“It’s been too long,” Hanbin explains at Matthew’s questioning look. “I told you I missed you.”
“And I did too,” Hao says from Matthew’s other side.
So Matthew happily burrows into the pillows, enjoying the twin weight of their hands on him.
“I love you both,” he murmurs, half-asleep already.
“We love you too,” Hanbin answers for both of them while Hao strokes his hair.
He falls asleep cocooned between them. Contented. Safe.
_ _
The next morning, he wakes to Hao already gone, ready to meet them to film breakfast for the show, but he’s left a sticker on Matthew’s cheek of a little smiling face that Matthew has no idea how he got. Hanbin’s in the middle of the room, getting dressed with a series of winces.
“Oh, hyung,” Matthew tuts, scrambling out of bed to grasp his arm when he wobbles trying to get his pants on. Hanbin shakes his head firmly.
“It’s fine,” he rasps, all croaky morning voice. “I’m really sore, but I’m happy.”
He does look brighter this morning, less tense, and he smiles against Matthew’s lips when Matthew kisses him.
Once they leave the villa, Matthew holds his hand right up until he has to turn on the camera.