Chapter Text
Sung Hanbin is a romantic.
Some might call him delusional and naive, might tell him he needs to grow up and live in reality. He wanted his meet-cute, his fairytale. He wanted to bump into a beautiful stranger while grocery shopping and fall in love. Fate. Destined-to-be.
Which is lovely, until you’re 23 and have never been kissed.
Hanbin groans, face scrunched up and head in his hands as Matthew tries to gently tell him that he’s a loser. It was early summer in South Korea, the July air growing sticky and thick. The air conditioner was a steady hum throughout Matthew’s apartment.
“Hyung, don’t you think it’s time you really put yourself out there? What’s the worst that can happen?” Matthew was giving him a tired look. He had said it all before, off-handedly and teasingly, but he was emphatic today. It was easy enough for him to say, because Matthew did have that lovely romance. He had Taerae writing love songs about him, for God’s sake.
Hanbin huffs in a sense of defeat.
He had done this to himself really, because now he was a grown man with no experience, so desperately behind all of his peers and anyone he could possibly be interested in. He had spent his years hopelessly pining after others from a distance, never making a first move and too clueless when others moved on him. Now what does he have to offer?
He says as much aloud and Matthew glares at him.
“Are you kidding me, hyung? First of all, you’re hot. I don’t care what you say. And you’re like, the kindest person I think I could ever meet. You’re a total catch, Hanbin. Don’t be stupid.” Matthew actually sounds annoyed.
Hanbin feels his cheeks burn.
“Thank you, Matthew-yah.” He says softly, smiling at his best friend.
Hanbin had found himself in a sort of limbo. His inexperience held him back from ever really putting himself out there, but the longer he went, the more it weighed on him. Like a sick, pathetic cycle. Even if he were to meet someone he really liked, he doubts that they would want to stick around to deal with someone in their first relationship. Not at this age.
“Come on then, let’s make a dating profile.” Matthew grabs a hold of Hanbin’s phone, putting it up to Hanbin’s face to scan the Face ID. It clicks open, even with Hanbin’s disgruntled look.
“What, like right now?” He cries.
“Yes.” Matthew says it with no room for argument, finality in his firm tone. Hanbin watches the little progress wheel fill as the dating app downloads onto his phone. As much as Hanbin wants to whine and complain that the other boy is being harsh, he knows that he needs this push. Inside, he's grateful, even if he won’t admit it aloud.
Hanbin sinks into the couch, trying to mentally prepare himself for the embarrassing and uncomfortable experience that is creating a dating profile with your best friend.
The closest thing Sung Hanbin has felt to love is Zhang Hao, he thinks.
Their friendship was probably coming up on a year in a few months, since Gyuvin told him that a friend of his was looking for somewhere to rent and Hao ended up on Hanbin’s doorstep, an exorbitant amount of suitcases with all of his belongings behind him. Hao slotted into his life like he had always been there, like there was a missing spot waiting to be filled. It was easy with him. Hanbin supposes that’s what love is.
Like now, as they scrolled through Tik Tok, shoulders pressed together, Hao’s foot hooked under Hanbin’s ankle. Easy.
Hanbin feels Hao’s breath tickle his ear as he giggles, “This is so stupid.” Hanbin tries not to squirm at the sensation, just smiles at the lilting sound of Hao’s quiet laugh.
“I know.” Hanbin bookmarks the Tik Tok, files it mentally into the folder ‘Hao Finds This Funny’.
It’s sudden and minute, but Hanbin feels Hao stiffen against him, pull his foot away and tuck it under himself. Hanbin frowns. He follows Hao’s line of sight to the top of his phone screen. Oh.
“Hinge?” Hao asks. His face is blank, schooled into a disinterested line. Hanbin didn’t really want Hao to know about this. From embarrassment or insecurity or some other third reason he didn’t quite understand. Probably nothing would come of the stint, anyway. Not with his track record.
“Yeah,” Hanbin sighs. “Matthew made me. He thinks I need to get out there, or whatever.” He says, frowning at Hao pressing on the notification and reading through Hanbin’s lame attempts at flirting from the week.
“He’s probably right, if this is anything to go by. God, you sound like a blushing virgin in these texts. ‘You really think I’m handsome? Wow, you too, hyung.’ Pleading emoji. Heart emoji. I know you can do better than that, Hanbin-ah.”
Hanbin thinks this is maybe the worst moment of his life. He’s going to die, right here and now, and Hao is going to be the cause. He opens another chat log, further digging the hole for Hanbin to lie in.
“Hyung,” he whines, reaching desperately for the phone, fingers scrambling around Hao’s wrist as he wriggles away from Hanbin. He pouts up at Hao.
“It’s fine, Hanbin.” Hao soothes, and then he pauses, “Well, it is pretty bad.”
“Oh my god.” Hanbin groans. Kill him now.
“What if they want to kiss me?”
Hao raises a brow. He leans forward a bit, smoothing out the corners of Hanbin’s dress shirt. He had pulled together a first date with someone off of the site, along with Hao’s help. It hadn’t taken much, a little bit of small talk and maybe a bit of flirting here and there. And then they were organising a date.
(He had been on a few dates before, he wasn’t completely hopeless. And maybe some were without his knowledge until the other person was expectantly looking at his lips while Hanbin said goodbye. How was he supposed to know the friendly girl in his dance class that invited him for lunch had ulterior motives? He let her down easy. Read: he made up a stuttering excuse to leave. Matthew scolded him the next day.)
“Are you not one to kiss on the first date, Hanbin?” Hao tilts his head to the side, considering.
Hanbin chews on his cheek, “Are you?” He deflects.
Hao shrugs, “Why not?”
The vision of Zhang Hao licking his full lips before he leans into someone he just met flashes across his mind. Something stirs in his chest at that. He guesses he’s jealous of how easy it must be for him. Hao, with his perfect face and perfect personality. Ugh. Of course.
“If I tell you something, can you promise not to laugh at me?”
“I can try.” The corner of Hao’s mouth was pulling into a smirk but it quickly dropped when he took in the hard line of Hanbin’s mouth. ”Oh. You’re serious.” Hao steps forward, laces their fingers together and softly squeezes, just once. You can tell me anything, it said. Hanbin knows that, but it doesn’t make it feel any less embarrassing.
Hanbin takes a breath, rushing through his words before he changes his mind, “I’ve never been kissed before. Not a real one anyway. Just some quick pecks when I was a kid. Never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend, or, you know…”
He stops himself there. He can feel his cheeks burning pink again, and that’s enough to imply what else he means. He looks up from the pattern in the floorboards he was staring at.
Hao’s mouth was slightly agape, thick eyebrows high. “Seriously?” Is all he says, and Hanbin cringes.
“I know, it’s so embarrassing.”
Hao scoffs, “It’s not embarrassing, Hanbin. I just find it hard to believe.”
“Why?” Hanbin frowns. He feels a bit hurt.
“Are you really going to make me say it?” Hao was chewing on his lower lip, something between confusion or frustration painted on his face. Hanbin tries to urge him on with a look.
Hao inhales, reaches out again and plays with the hair at the nape of his neck. “A face like yours deserves to be kissed, don’t you think?”
Hanbin sucks in a shaky breath.
“You can’t just say that, Hao.” His voice comes out a little strangled, because what the fuck does that mean? His stomach is tying itself into a knot and his ears are burning and Hao is just looking at him with a soft smile. Like it’s nothing. It certainly didn’t feel like nothing to Hanbin.
“Hm, maybe I shouldn’t.” He looks a little wistful as he says it. Thoughtful and maybe a little sheepish, “It’s true though, surely you must have been batting people away.”
Hanbin shakes his head, finding that same spot on the ground again. It looks a bit like a star. “No, not really.”
Hao makes a ‘tsk’ sound and his hands find their way under Hanbin’s chin. He taps his fingers and Hanbin lifts his head. No words, just a simple command. And Hanbin listens. Hao looks right at him. He finds an intensity in Hao’s gaze that he has never seen before. It makes his fingers twitch, his cheeks heat. He swallows.
“Hao hyung?” He asks, because he’s not sure what to do with himself when Hao is looking at him like that.
And that was it. Hao pulls back with a jerk, his face clears and his shoulders drop. He smiles kindly, twists his pinky finger in his other hand. It was a nervous twitch of sorts Hanbin had picked up on quickly into their relationship.
“Good luck, Hanbinnie. Just don’t do anything you don’t want to do. You’ll be fine.” He nods like he’s sure of it. Hanbin lets himself believe him, warmth gathering in his chest at the other’s confidence in him.
“I can do this,” Hanbin confirms, because when had he ever failed at something he put his mind to?
Hanbin, in fact, could not do this. Kim Jiwoong was really handsome, ridiculously so, and he found himself blushing profusely whenever he so much as made eye contact with Hanbin. Which was often. His gaze was intense and constant from across the table and Hanbin felt a bit lightheaded.
“So, what do you do for work?” Jiwoong asks. It breaks through the trance Hanbin had gotten into. Okay. He could talk about this. This was easy.
“I’m a dance instructor for elementary kids.” Hanbin swells with pride at the thought of his students.
“Ah, really? You must love them a lot. I can tell.” Jiwoong smiles at him, cutting into his steak. It’s pink inside. Hanbin regrets getting his pasta.
“Of course. They’re my joy,” he says easily. “What about you?”
“I’m an actor, though I haven’t worked in a while.” There’s something weary to Jiwoong’s words and Hanbin gets the sense there is something else behind them. He doesn’t ask, of course, but it sticks in the back of his brain.
“Ah, you’re really cool, Jiwoong-ssi.” He says honestly. He cringes a bit at his own words once they’ve left his mouth.
Jiwoong grins. He puts his hand lightly on top of Hanbin’s on the table. “You don’t have to be so nervous.”
Hanbin deflates a little, “Was it that obvious?”
Jiwoong’s thumb swipes over Hanbin’s knuckle before he pulls away. “A bit, yeah.”
He bites his lip, unsure for a moment before he settles on, “It’s been a while.” Which isn’t exactly a lie, right?
“For me too.” Jiwoong says, “I think it’s cute though, how easily your ears get red.”
Jiwoong was going to be the death of him. It was like flirting was a second language to him, with his fleeting touches and compliments throughout the night. It left his heart stuttering and his mouth dry.
The date goes well, though, or at least Hanbin thinks it does. The nerves don’t ever really go away, buzzing underneath his skin. But Jiwoong is easy to talk to. He’s not exactly what Hanbin expected, softer than his hard exterior and dark eyes let on. He likes that. He likes Jiwoong, he decides.
“I liked getting to know you today,” Hanbin says. They’re standing outside of the restaurant. Jiwoong insisted on walking Hanbin to his car, and he didn’t miss the light touch on his back as they made their way down, either.
“So did I.” Jiwoong turns to face him. “I would like to see you again, if that’s okay with you.”
Hanbin nods. Jiwoong steps closer at that. His touch is feather light when his fingertips brush the side of his face. The gears move slowly in Hanbin’s head as Jiwoong’s gaze flicks down to Hanbin’s lips. He’s leaning in when it all snaps into place and Hanbin pulls away. He immediately feels a sense of guilt when something flashes in Jiwoong’s eyes, if only for a second.
“Next time,” He rushes out.
Jiwoong has a gentle smirk at that, “Next time, then.”
u have to tell me everything
was he hot
…maybe
omfg
he was really nice though
oh i'm sure
he wants to see me again!!
LETS GOOOOO
cant believe u actually rizzed him up
please don’t ever say that to me again matthew
u cant tell that to the rizzmaster5000
goodnight.
The fan spun lazy circles above Hanbin’s bed. He stared up at it, lids still heavy with sleep as the blades blurred into one. He was slipping back into the clutches of sleep when his bedroom burst open. He absently thinks that he really should get a lock on that.
Zhang Hao was standing in his doorway, arms crossed against his chest and his lower lip in a pout. “It’s too hot. Come take me to get ice cream, Hanbin.”
Hanbin whines as he pulls himself up onto his elbows, “I just woke up.”
Hao stares at him blankly, “It’s noon.”
He supposes he can’t argue with that. He isn’t someone who would typically spend all day in bed. He was the opposite really, much more inclined to be thrumming with energy, wanting to accomplish his ambitions. But there was something about the heat that had his head swimming today (and maybe part of it was the thought of: someone tried to kiss me yesterday).
“Okay, just let me wash up.” Hanbin tells him. Hao huffs, still not satisfied for whatever reason. Hanbin just giggles at him, promising he won’t be too long. Hao must really want that ice cream.
“Well?” Hao says. Hanbin’s eyes flicker up to him from behind the cone. They were walking back to the car – the icecream parlour was much too busy to stay, neither of them wanting to be caught in the throng of sweaty people.
“What?”
“Are we just going to act like you didn’t go on a date last night?”
“Oh.” Hanbin blinks. “Right.”
Hao just looks at him, waiting for him to say more.
“He tried to kiss me.” Hanbin provides. Hao stops walking. “I didn’t let him though, just like you said I could!” He says quickly.
“But you wanted to? Kiss him, I mean.”
Hanbin pauses too, thinking for a moment. Did he?
“I’m not sure.” He answers honestly.
Hao hums. “You’re driving us back.”
He spins on his heel as he marches to the car. Hanbin groans like he didn’t drive them there. Like he didn’t drive them everywhere. (Maybe he likes it too.)
“You know, I didn’t tell you to not kiss him.” Hao says above the chatter of the TV.
Hanbin’s head lolls to the side, amused. Hao
“You’re still thinking about this?”
“Well, you said it like you didn’t just because of me.” Hao points an accusatory finger at him, “I don’t think that’s why though. There has to be some other reason you, of everyone, has never been kissed before.”
Hanbin sits up properly and pulls his knees to his chest. He suddenly feels embarrassed, the conversation moving into something much too real. He huffs.
“I don’t know. I guess when I was younger I always wanted my first kiss to be with someone special. Someone I really trusted. Like something out of a fairytale. I’ve kind of gotten over that now, but now it just feels awkward. Like, I’m going to mess it up or something.” Hanbin sighs and tips his head back, staring up at the ceiling.
“You worry too much.” Hao says simply.
Hanbin tilts his head to the side, cheek against the backrest of the couch. He looks at Hao and all his certainty. It was something Hanbin has always loved about him. Everything he said, he said it with conviction. He doesn’t falter. Hanbin wishes that he could be more like that.
“Yeah, I know. I’ve worked it up so much in my head. I wish I could just have a practice run or something.” Hanbin laughs a little at the thought.
“You can practice with me.”
“What?”
“Why not? You trust me, don’t you?” Hao almost seems hurt.
“Of course I do, hyung. More than anyone.”
It was true. And really, who better than Hao? The older boy liked to tease, poke and prod and embarrass his friends with his sly words. He knew, though, that that was Hao’s own love language of sorts. He also knew that he would never make light of something important to him. Hao treated everything around him with such gentle care, like what he had with Hanbin was something fragile. And in a way it was, but it was strong and sure too.
When he looks at Hao now, his cheeks are dusted pink. He’s playing with his fingers and Hanbin realises that he is the one seemingly embarrassed right now.
“Okay.” Hanbin says, finding confidence in Hao’s shy look.
Hao raises one thick brow, but then he’s scooting forward on their couch. Their knees touch. Hao cups his cheek. His hands are cold, even in this heat. Hanbin’s eyes flutter closed, heart thrumming against his ribs.
The first kiss is a quick, tentative thing. A barely there press of lips before they’re gone again. Hanbin’s eyes open. Hao doesn’t pull away, but he gives him a look that says ‘is this okay?’ and Hanbin nods. Hao’s lips are on his again and Hanbin falters when he feels them begin to move. A hand finds its way to the back of Hanbin’s neck, a steady, grounding weight as Hanbin melts into the touch. Hao detaches his lips, but his hand stays in its spot.
He just kissed Hao. His Hao. And the most confusing part was that he found himself wanting more.
“Again?” The word falls out of his mouth before he can stop himself. He’s about to stammer out an apology, but Hao is already leaning forward again, taking Hanbin’s lips between his.
Hao’s tongue swipes against Hanbin’s lower lip. He gasps in surprise and Hao takes the opening to lick gently, timidly into his mouth. Hanbin’s hands fly up to Hao’s arms, clinging and squeezing into the soft flesh. He feels Hao smile against his lips.
It’s clumsy and messy and a little bit too eager on Hanbin’s part, but he just wants this to be good for Hao too — wants him to feel the same feeling in his gut that leaves Hanbin breathless. He sucks Hao’s lower lip into his mouth, teeth sliding against the plush skin.
If this is what it felt like to kiss, Hanbin wonders how he waited this long. He also wonders how he could deprive himself of this again.
“Hanbin.” It’s said against his cheek, and he’s never heard his name said like that before. Disjointed and a little broken.
“Yes, hyung? Did I do okay?” Their foreheads are resting together now.
Hao places a quick, chaste kiss to the side of his mouth before he untangles himself from the other. Hanbin stares at the slick shine on Hao’s lips he had left with his spit. He feels that tug in his stomach again.
“I think we might have gotten a bit carried away.” Hao takes Hanbin’s arms in his hands, lowering them into his lap. He didn’t realise he was still clinging to him. His cheeks burn.
“But… it was alright?” Hanbin insists, because he needs to know.
“Yes, Hanbin-ah. You did well for me.”
The tension that had built up in his shoulders releases at that. He did well. For him. “Thank you, hyung.”
Hao lets out a little noise like he’s in pain. Hanbin frowns, eyebrows drawing together. Hao reaches out– always reaching out– and smooths over the kink with his fingertips.
“It’s late. You did good.” Hao sighs, “I’m sure that guy won’t be disappointed.”
Oh. Right. Jiwoong. Amongst it all, Hanbin had forgotten why this had even happened in the first place. A wayward thought flickers through his mind: I’ve just had my first kiss. On the couch, at 11pm on a Thursday night, with one of my closest friends. Something like regret, or disappointment at the setting lights up in him, but he looks at Hao and feels that flame falter.
Maybe it didn’t feel like the grand romantic moment he had always wanted. But really, wasn’t sharing yourself with someone you trusted wholeheartedly, enough?
Hanbin thanks him again, Hao wishes him goodnight, and he’s alone again. He sinks into the cushions, presses his fingers to his lips.
Hanbin burns.
It’s Friday and Hanbin is exhausted. He absently wonders if he should have cancelled today’s dance lesson in this heat, but the kids grinning faces and bouncing feet make up for it.
He had meant it when he told Jiwoong that these kids were his joy. Seeing them grow and learn was everything to him, and usually his Friday’s with them were a highlight of his week. Today though, he is off kilter. He tries not to let it show, to be his typical smiling and supportive self, but if his mind strays to plush lips and warm skin, well, that’s neither here nor there.
He’s waving his students goodbye, telling them how well they did today when his phone buzzes in his pocket. The message is from Matthew, letting him know that he’s waiting outside. They were meeting for lunch at the cafe by the dance studio. For a debrief, Matthew had told him.
Matthew’s smile is just as blinding as always. Hanbin pulls him in for a hug and Matthew’s arms wrap around his waist in a squeeze.
“So, how is my favourite chronically single hyung?” Matthew teases as they take their seats at the table.
“Oh!” Hanbin is hit with the realisation that he hadn’t even told Matthew yet.
“What happened?” Matthew is suddenly sitting up straighter, almost vibrating in his seat.
“I had my first kiss last night.” Hanbin smiles smugly.
“What? With the hot actor guy? Oh my god. Tell me everything.” He squeals.
“No. With um…” He pauses. He hadn’t thought this far. Matthew quirks an eyebrow. “Well, with Hao.”
“Holy shit.” Matthew’s eyes are wide and Hanbin is half expecting him to say something like ‘that’s so weird’, or ‘why would you do that?’
Instead, he just levels him with: “Finally.”
“Huh?”
“I’m happy for you guys.” Matthew’s smile is so genuine, so gentle that Hanbin just stares at him blankly before it hits him.
“Oh, no! It’s not like that! Hao hyung was just helping me practice for my date.”
“Helping you. Practice.” The words punch out of Matthew’s mouth, stiff and awkward.
“Yeah.” Hanbin picks at the skin around his fingernail. “Is that weird or something?”
“Yes, Hanbin. It’s weird.”
“But we’re friends.”
“Hanbin, would you ever kiss me?”
“Ew.” Hanbin’s face scrunches up at the thought. “No.”
“Exactly.”
“It’s different!”
“How is it different?” Matthew presses, leaning over the table. He looks Hanbin right in the eye and he could feel Matthew’s frustration just from that look alone.
Hanbin falters, “It just is.”
“Okay.” Matthew sighs, “How was the kiss, then?”
That was the question that had been plaguing Hanbin’s mind. How was it, kissing Zhang Hao?
Confusing. Warm. Vulnerable. Right.
His mind supplies all of these in quick succession. He doesn’t want to think too hard about what any of that means right now, so he doesn’t.
“I don’t know,” Hanbin settles on.
Matthew deflates. “Really?”
“Really.” Hanbin says.
Matthew frowns at that, “You mean it. Okay. Well, be careful, alright?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Hao wouldn’t want to hurt me.”
“I know that. Just don’t forget to protect your heart.” Matthew reaches out and squeezes his hand, makes sure Hanbin is really looking at him.
Hanbin thinks about his words all night.
It’s their second date. It’s nice. Hanbin does like Jiwoong and he thinks he likes him too. He’s trying to get out of his head. Everything passes in a bit of a blur and they’re outside the venue saying goodbye.
Hanbin fills his lungs with air and stands up straighter. He plasters on a smile, because he can be charming.
“I promised a kiss next time, didn’t I?”
“You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to,” Jiwoong says. “But yes, I do remember that.”
“No, I want to.” Hanbin nods.
Jiwoong’s hand slots behind his head and they’re kissing, mouths sliding against each other. Hanbin toys with the zipper of his jacket, tries to remember what Hao taught him. He moves his tongue against Jiwoong’s lip, just like Hao did to him. What was next, again?
Hanbin is the one to pull away this time. He’s left with a strange feeling. He’s disappointed. Underwhelmed. Something he didn’t think he would feel when it came to kissing Kim Jiwoong. Or anyone, for that matter. Maybe nothing would beat the very first time. That makes sense.
They just kind of stare at each other, arms hanging by their sides. It’s awkward. So awkward, that Hanbin suddenly wants to run.
“Well. Goodnight.”
Jiwoong looks amused, “Goodnight, Hanbin.”
Hanbin scurries home with his tail between his legs.
Hao is still up when Hanbin gets back.
As soon as he sees him sitting on their couch he deflates. “Hao,” he whines.
Hao looks up from his phone, stopping his scrolling.
“How did it go?”
“Terrible.” Hanbin groans and flings himself forward, collapsing on the plush sofa. He rests his head on Hao’s lap, looking up at him behind his thick lashes.
“Tell me,” Hao says and Hanbin buries his face in his thighs, cheeks burning. Hao pinches at the back of his neck at his silence and Hanbin squeaks, batting his hand away. He flips around.
“We kissed.” Hanbin closes his eyes, “And I sucked.”
“Aww, Hanbinie.” Hao coos. He pinches his cheeks, giggling at his embarrassment. “It’s okay.”
“I think…” Hanbin pauses, tries to consider his next words because he’s not sure where they’ll lead. “I think I need more practice.”
He feels Hao stiffen underneath him and Hanbin’s stomach drops, but then he says, “Okay.”
“Really?” Hanbin sits up, sure his eyebrows have shot up to his hairline in his surprise.
Hao just hums in response. Always so nonchalant, so sure. Hanbin doesn’t know how he does it. For a moment, he wonders what it would look like for Hao to come undone.
“Can you teach me?”
“What do you want to know?”
Hanbin considers for a moment.
“I want to know how to make someone feel good. To feel how you make me feel.”
“And how do I make you feel, Hanbin?” Hao asks, careful.
“Alight. Like I’m burning from the inside.”
“Jesus christ.” Hao croaks. “Okay. Come here.”
Hanbin wriggles forward on his knees.
“I don’t know what to do with my hands.” Hanbin admits.
“You can hold me if you’d like,” Hao takes Hanbin’s hands in his. “Like this,” he attaches one to the back of his neck, “or like this,” the other is placed on his waist. “It’s okay to let your hands move too. Just relax.”
Hanbin nods, “Alright. Can I kiss you now?”
“Someone’s eager.” Hao smiles, lopsided and loose. At Hanbin’s hesitation, he tells him, “Yes.”
Hanbin captures Hao’s lips in his. He doesn’t kiss tentatively, with reservation or nerves. Any he had felt before melts away and he’s left with a sudden hunger. A need. He kisses Hao like he’s been starved. He wants more, more, more.
They pull away, giddy and breathless.
“You don’t usually start with tongue.” Hao chides, “But I guess we’re making an exception.”
And then Hao’s mouth is on Hanbin’s neck. He gasps, hands squeezing at Hao’s waist, his head, soft hair curling around his thin fingers.
“Learn how your partner tastes.” Hao says, leaving open mouth kisses across the expanse of skin.
“How do I taste?”
Hao smiles against his neck, “Like sweat.”
“Gross.” Hanbin laughs.
“Find where they’re sensitive.” Hao’s face inches up, lips brushing against his jawline, “I think I already have my suspicions.”
Hanbin’s heart picks up at that. The feeling of anticipation, the burn of being known. Hao’s breath is hot against his ear and he mewls when he nibbles softly at his earlobe.
“Fuck.” Hanbin can’t breathe.
“Hm, I thought so. I like to watch you itch.”
“Hao.” He whines, embarrassed and aching. Hao is so smug when he looks at him, lips curled up and eyes dark. Hanbin has the urge to kiss the stupid look off of his face. He realises, with giddiness, that he can.
He doesn’t think when he swings his leg over, knee settling in between Hao’s thighs. Hao’s arms immediately wrap around his waist and he tugs him forward as Hanbin takes his mouth in his. It’s spit-slick and messy, sweet noises spilling from Hanbin’s mouth.
“You sound so pretty like this,” Hao says, fingers digging into Hanbin’s waist. “Did Jiwoong make you sound like this too?”
“No hyung, only you.” Hanbin presses closer, head hanging on Hao’s shoulder.
“Good.”
Hanbin feels crazed. Desperate, like he’s never been before. How can he not be, when Hao says these things to him? When he touches him like this, somehow soft and insistent at the same time. It’s dizzying.
Through the haze, Hanbin chases relief. He doesn’t know when he got hard, but he’s straining against his pants and he needs the friction. So when he starts rocking his hips against Hao, he lets out a breathy moan, high in his throat.
Hao’s hands are at his waist, holding him down against his thigh, “Keep going, baby.” His words tickle the shell of his ear.
Hanbin preens at the pet name, panting against Hao’s neck. He feels that familiar tug in his gut, the same one as when he’s underneath his bedsheets with his cock in his fist. It builds and builds, movements growing more frantic with each slide of their bodies.
“I can’t,” Hanbin whines.
“Doing so well, think you can come just like this?” Hao whispers it, as if it’s not just them in the room, grinding against each other like they’re in heat.
Hanbin nods frantically, “Kiss me please.”
It’s filthy. Hao’s tongue pushes into Hanbin’s mouth with intent and Hanbin moans around it. His clothed cock drags against Hao’s stomach and he can feel his precome pooling in his underwear. Hao’s hands are holding him so tight he thinks there must be red indents forming on his soft flesh. Hanbin feels the tips of his fingers prickle, his toes curl.
“Come for me then, baby.” Hao’s words are the final straw. Hanbin comes, the flame in his stomach sputtering out with a cry. He all but collapses, falling onto Hao’s chest. Hao rubs a soothing hand down his back.
Hanbin is still out of breath when he shakily lifts his head up. Hao is smiling at him, eyelids heavy and hair mussed.
“You okay?” Hao asks softly.
“Sleepy,” Hanbin admits. “But okay.”
“You should clean up.” Hao says, eyes casting down to Hanbin’s crotch. His cheeks flush when he takes in the wet spot on the front of his pants. The sight flips a switch in Hanbin and he’s suddenly clambering off of Hao’s lap.
He had just rut against his best friend until he came in his pants. Shame and embarrassment crushes down on him.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I just— I got off on you. What’s wrong with me? Oh my god.”
“And I didn’t stop you.”
“I didn’t even ask you if you were into it.”
“Hanbin. You have no idea what it is you do to me, do you?”
“What?”
Hao’s fingers circle around Hanbin’s wrist. He pulls his hand forward and places his hand on his crotch. Hanbin can feel Hao’s cock, half hard, under the thin material of his sweatpants. His eyes grow wide, head swimming.
“Oh.” He says dumbly.
“Yes. Oh.” Hao doesn’t let go of his wrist.
Hanbin presses down experimentally. Hao’s breath hitches and Hanbin watches his pupils dilate with a thrill. This was his doing. If he hadn’t just come, the thought would have gone straight to his dick. But here he was, sticky and admittedly, uncomfortable. A shower sounds really good right about now, but he’s scared. Scared that if he doesn’t touch Hao now, he won’t get another chance.
“Want to return the favour, Hao.” He pouts. When did he get so bold? He doesn’t even know.
“Not right now, Hanbin-ah.” Hao says, gently, like he’s trying to coax a stray cat. “For our next lesson, okay?”
“But—”
“I’ll take care of myself.” Hao says, and Hanbin has a vision of Hao, fucking into his own fist. Or maybe he would use his fingers, slipping into his heat— “Go and get in the shower.” Hao breaks him from his reverie. Hanbin nods, a bit dazed.
Yeah, he really needs a cold shower.