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They don’t get back until late, but it’s still earlier than Kai and Ben do.
Martin offered Leo a ride home from Manchester, and after the card and everything went down, Mikel didn’t mind letting him go.
The bus was obviously slower, even though Martin refused to go over the speed limit the entire way back.
Leandro and Martin lay next to each other in bed, hair wet from their shower. Leo’s curled up in a ball, and Martin has to stop himself from commenting on how cute he looks, if only because of the blank stare on his face.
“I’m so.. pissed” Leo murmurs. There’s no heat behind it, although Martin knows that it’s true.
They were falling apart, Martin thought. First his ankle, putting him out for at least a month. Then Ben woke up sick this morning, and didn’t start despite his protests that he’s fine. Now Leo is upset, out for two games. Kai is the last one standing, which is not a good thing- He’s a nervous wreck on the best of days.
Martin reaches over to grab Leo’s hand, and Leo lets him, which is an improvement from Leo’s catatonic state the entire four hours it took to get home. He wouldn’t even eat the animal crackers that Martin bought for him at a gas station.
He’s not glad that this happened, but, if anything, he’s glad it happened now. Last year- a couple months ago even- Leo would’ve never said anything at all.
He squeezes his hand. Hopes it conveys how proud he is.
The other two wander in an hour or two after they get home, loudly discussing something as they stomp up the stairs. Ben stops in the doorway, Kai disappears into the bathroom.
“Hey.” He says, looking at the two on the bed. Martin smiles. “Sorry we took so long. Stopped at the store.” He holds up a bag of chocolate chips, for some reason.
“You’re feeling better?” Martin asks, ever the captain. Ben shrugs, and so Martin beckons him closer.
“I need to shower.” He mutters, leaning to kiss Martin’s forehead. Martin doesn’t very much care, just pulls at where his oversized sweatshirt bunches around his waist.
Kai comes out as he goes in, a fresh set of pajamas on. He lays down behind Leo, wrapping his lanky body around the little ball.
“You know we love you right?” He whispers, tracing patterns on the older man’s hip, “And the card was bullshit.”
“Kai.” Martin warns, eyes locked on Leo’s face.
Leo just makes a small noncommittal noise and flutters his eyes shut. Martin wants to take a picture of the moment, but, again, not the time. He squeezes his hand instead.
When Ben comes out, maybe thirty minutes later, Martin scoots closer to Leo so they’re face to face and Ben can fit behind him on the bed.
The cuddle piles are their typical nightly routine. To be honest, none of them are very good at communicating their emotions right, too many languages and years in between them, so usually it’s just this, when they're tired and loose limbed, being together, holding each other.
Ben falls asleep quick, the fever taking its toll on him. Kai steals the bag of chocolate, places it in the middle and they all eat a handful or two from it, even Martin, who usually would warn them all against the excess sugar (Kai never listens anyway).
Martin uses his other hand to brush back Leo’s hair. It’s messy and still a bit damp, but Leo hums as Martin plays with it. He can see he’s close to falling asleep.
“I’m sorry, guys.” He whispers, barely audible, probably because he knows the outrage it will cause.
Even Ben seems to wake up when he hears this.
“You don’t need to apologize.” His voice is hoarse, “It happens, Leo”
“We could’ve won,” He argues, “I ruined it.”
“That’s the sport, Leo.” Martin assures, “If I was on the pitch we might have won. If Ben was fully fit or we covered Stones at the end there. But there’s no point in what ifs. It’s over now, and you’re not any less of a player for what happened today.”
“But-”
“Leo.” Kai adds, “We’re here okay? And we care, and we will never ever love you less because of a stupid game, yes?”
“Don’t want to hear you talk bad about yourself.” Martin declares.
Leo just sighs, though his eyes are a bit clearer than before, and he nuzzles into Martin’s neck.
“Yeah, but it’s not just today, is it?” Ben asks, after a moment, “You’ve been off all season, Leo.”
Martin turns and looks at him, confused, but Ben’s eyes are locked on Leo. The man in question is staring at the ceiling.
“What are you talking about?” Kai seems just as confused as Martin.
Leo doesn’t meet their eyes, “He’s just- I’m fine.”
“Leo.” Martin warns.
“Bad game, I’m upset.” He shrugs, “I’ll be alright tomorrow.”
“You forget that I know you.” Ben grumbles, sitting up now, “You can talk to us, Leo.”
“But I do not- I don’t know what is wrong.” He mumbles. Martin shifts closer now, grabbing the side of his face and pulling him tighter into a hug, silently pleading for him to share.
“We lost. Last season.” Tears are leaking from Leo’s eyes, and it’s a strange sight, “And I- I think I am running out of time.”
They all freeze at that. Objectively, that’s what football is. It can’t be forever. But the four of them know it better than most.
Martin, the failed wonder kid.
Kai, the disappointment to Chelsea.
Ben, the disgrace to England.
And Leo, never quite enough.
It makes sense to Martin now, how behind they all feel. Getting closer and closer each season, but their luck can’t last forever. Either they win, or they don’t. And today they didn’t.
It sits heavily on him. Always one step forward and three steps back. A goal, a red card. Winning the match, losing the championship.
“Oh, Leo.” Kai sighs, holding him extra tight. Leo wiggles in his hold.
“We can’t-” Ben pauses,”think like that. We can’t”
Martin grabs his hand. Because they can’t- shouldn’t- but they all do. He knows they all do.
“Go to sleep. All of you.” Kai groans, “We’re not doing this tonight. It’ll be better in the morning, no?”
“Probably not.”
Kai flips Leo over, poking and tickling him until the younger man is squirming and flipping them both off the bed. Martin rolls his eyes. Leo probably does too, once Kai finally takes mercy and lets him go.
“Go to bed.” Ben croaks, “I’m sick and dying and you have to listen to me.”
Shockingly, they do.
And it is better in the morning.