Work Text:
[the page is covered in tears]
[the date is crossed out in yellow ink]
Dear diary,
I’ve been visiting the island to see Isla recently, it feels like an undeserved reward. She looks gorgeous, like Aphrodite blessed her with beauty.
My dear orchid keeps talking about Fable. I am willing to listen, I am willing to stay calm, but it is struggling. How dare he dress Isla up in the golds of the overworld and treat her as a mere mortal when she is a lot more than that. Fable truly disgusts me, how could he neglect such a beauty as if she were a puppet to mistreat and throw around? Even though I’m pissed off, I must stay calm as Isla wants me to.
I hate how mistreated Isla is. She should be with me in a dress of purples and blacks NO, she should be in the colours and clothes she wants to wear. She should be able to choose what she wants to do, even if that’s without me.
I always let her do what she wants. I’ll give her anything, even if it kills me. I want her to be happy; she deserves to be happy.
I don’t deserve to be happy, I don’t deserve her, I don’t deserve my followers, I don’t deserve the End, I don’t deserve anything but pain.
How and why does she love me? What have I done to get someone as amazing as her? Why was I blessed with someone I didn’t deserve?
My orchid is perfect… I am not. No god or goddess deserves someone as amazing as her… but I want her.
She smells like flowers and perfume, she looks like a goddess, her voice is so beautiful and heavenly to listen to, she is so talented and has reached me to do so many things whilst I’ve done nothing good for her.
why? Why is she still with me? Why does she love me? Why can’t I love me?
-Enderian