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“Hyung?”
“In here!” Minho calls out from where he’s simmering some stew away on the stovetop.
He listens to the shuffling of Seungmin’s shoes being kicked off and then neatly placed on the shoe rack, before he walks into the kitchen with that dopey grin on his face he always sports when he’s exhausted but content after a long shift at work.
Minho met Seungmin in college, the youngster and him sharing a course in biochemistry, but whereas Minho was trying to get his bachelor in surgery, Seungmin was trying to get it in medicine, and yet they both needed the biochemistry class in order to succeed their similar yet different dreams.
Now Seungmin’s fresh out of college and pursing pathology with his degree in medicine, Minho is a Junior surgeon working under the best of the best. Both in the same hospital, miles away from the college they attended and funnily enough the pair learned that the closer you are to the hospital and city, the more expensive the rent. Hence now why they share a two bed apartment, on the first floor of a modern building, they even have their own garden due to the first floor benefits, where Minho is growing various plants and vegetables as his side hobby just so that he has something else to take care of, trading the scalpel and tools of the job for a watering can at home.
Something to take the edge off from the daunting, stress heavy but very rewarding life he chose.
“Did you see that we got new neighbours?” Seungmin asks, already digging into the stew and burning his tongue on the first bite like he does every meal the two of them share (which is mainly dinner considering they live together and Minho always cooks enough for the younger too, not being able to bare the thought of him going hungry.)
Breakfasts were usually a quick grab and go, lunch was whatever free time they had in between work schedules but Minho always made sure to eat three times a day no matter what and always made sure he made a warm home cooked dinner for the pair of them at the end of the day, he once again trading the knives he uses to cut out tumours for the ones he chops up vegetables with, (the ones grown in his very own garden no less.)
“No?” Minho honestly doesn’t pay attention to anything surrounding him as soon as he’s home from work, he just simply cooks, tends to his plants, showers under scorching water, annoys Seungmin and sleeps.
“I heard them moving in, and I heard a dog barking! They have a dog hyung!”
Minho frowns at this. “They can’t. The landlord doesn’t accept pets or we would have three hundred and seventeen cats roaming this place by now.”
“Oddly specific number,” Seungmin snorts through his stew. “They definitely have a dog though. I heard it barking.”
“You sure that wasn’t just your inner puppy?”
“Mong.” Seungmin deadpans. “We should introduce ourselves! Give them some of this stew as a ‘welcome to the building’ gift!”
“Yah!” Minho protests. “This is our stew!”
“Then why are you dishing it up in your fancy Tupperware?” Seungmin asks back with a shit eating grin.
The ‘fancy’ Tupperware in question being one with cats wearing bowtie’s on. It’s microwaveable too, for convenience.
“Because I don’t want to come across as an asshole neighbour.” Minho finally sighs. “You’ll look like the empty handed asshole instead, not me!”
“Hyung!” Seungmin whines like a toddler.
“Fine, come on then. This was your idea anyway. I was going to eat the leftovers for lunch tomorrow-“
“No you weren’t. You never take leftovers because you ‘never have time’ and then you always go to the vending machine on the third floor for the granola bar with chocolate chips in and-“
“Yah! Kim Seungmin, are you coming or not?”
Seungmin laughs and follows Minho out towards the adjacent door to theirs.
______________
“Careful Chan!” The clanking of a box that quite literally has ‘fragile’ written across it echos through the apartment that is stacked with box after box after box of your belongings, absolutely everything you and your dog ‘Lucky’ owned.
“Oops?” Chan offers you a cheeky smile and you swat at his chest half heartedly.
Lucky bounds over, wagging her tail.
“I’m alright girl, it’s Chan’s fault.”
Chan pouts, reaching down to pet your Golden Labrador. “What are we unpacking first?”
“I’m not even going to think about unpacking today. We’ve got out Lucky’s food and water bowl and her bed’s set up. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight and I’ll assemble my bed tomorrow.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll assemble the bed now, you’re not sleeping on the couch.”
“There’s nothing wrong with the couch!”
“Just order us dinner on my card and I’ll get started yeah?”
“I’ll order dinner on my card, it’s the least I can do.”
“Don’t argue with me,” Chan says with a light smile but a firmness in his tone.
“Arguing? Weren’t we negotiating? I’m just paying for your labour, if you’d let me just sleep on the couch…”
“You’ll get a bad back,”
“I’m twenty four, not fifty.”
“Almost halfway!” Chan sing-songs as he heads towards your bedroom.
“Rude! And you’re older than me!” You call out after him but his laugh pools throughout your apartment and you sigh, giving up and searching for the best place to get some food from around here.
“Do you know what’s good to eat around here?”
“Nope!” Chan calls back from your bedroom “Just get meat, you can’t go wrong with meat!”
“That’s what she said!”
“That’s what HE said!” Chan corrects. “Did you forget that I’m gay?”
“How could I possibly forget? I lived with you for my final year of college and caught you bending Lee Felix over our old kitchen counter-“
“How many times do I have to apologise for that? Lix even made you brownies to compensate!”
“Nothing could ever compensate for that. It’s engraved into my memory.”
You order the food and flop down on the settee.
Fuck unpacking on the first day of moving in.
…..
The front door knocking startles you completely, throwing you off guard and making your heart beat tenfold. Lucky comes straight to you, pulling a soft whine from the poor dog’s throat as she paws at your legs, jumping up in an attempt to bring you down to the floor.
“Y/N? It’s just the front door. It’s probably the food yeah? I’ll get it. You just- good girl Lucky.” Chan praises your dog for recognising when you need her and then once he see’s your trembling hands find purchase in her long soft fur, your eyes shutting and your breathing starting to steady, he knows he can open the door.
“Hello-“
“Hi?” Chan looks at the man and then at the container in his hands. “Uhhh- I don’t think that’s the dinner we ordered?”
“What?” The man blinks back.
“I ummm- I think you might have the wrong apartment?”
“I’m Kim Seungmin, I live next door, right there- I saw you moving in earlier and just wanted to welcome you to the building?”
Oh. “Oh!” Chan’s an idiot. “I’m an idiot, sorry! I thought you were our dinner delivery and then I saw the container with the cats on and… I’m sorry.” He nervously laughs. “I’m Chan.”
“Minho, he’s my hyung, we live together, he made this stew but he didn’t think you were in because you took so long to answer the door but-“
“Ah, right. Sorry.”
“Don’t be, Minho’s impatient and had plants to water. Anyway, welcome to the building! I heard your dog earlier and-“
“It’s not my dog. Actually, this isn’t even my apartment or my building. I’m just helping Y/N move. It’s her and her dog Lucky that’s moving in, but she’s a bit umm… pre occupied right now, so am I okay to take this into her and tell her to thank you another time?”
“Sure?” Seungmin hands over the Tupperware and really tries not to look past Chan and into the apartment but Chan shuffles a little to the right, obscuring Seungmin’s view as if he’s been caught red handed.
“Thank-you for dropping by, and for the stew, Seungmin.”
“Right. Yeah, no problem. Nice to meet you, Chan.”
…..
“That was weird,”
“I told you to just leave the container outside with a note-“
“No, no hyung someone answered, but it wasn’t our new neighbour? And he was like… a little awkward, but… almost secretive? I don’t know I can’t place it, but something was just… I don’t know.”
“Great explanation Kim Seungmin. A weirdo explaining something weird. Brilliant.”
“If anyone is a weirdo it’s you, hyung.”
“No, I’m aloof, there’s a difference.”
“You’re a pain.” Seungmin mumbles back.
“What was that?” The syrupy sweet voice of Minho makes Seungmin visibly shudder. “Nothing Hyung.”
“That’s what I thought!” Minho takes the victory. “It’s not like we’re going to end up best friends with our ‘weirdo’ neighbour anyway! As long as I get my Tupperware back-“
“I’m sure you will, hyung.”
“I give it forty eight hours before I knock and ask for it back.”
“Hyung-“
“It’s my fancy Tupperware Kim Seungmin. The bow ties on the cats show that!”
Seungmin doesn’t even know HOW to reply to that, so he doesn’t.
Minho takes it as another victory.
…….
It’s not even twelve hours later when Minho opens his front door for his morning shift to find the Tupperware outside his front door, washed and with a note attached saying “Thank-you so much!” Simple, yet not necessary, clearly thoughtful and very satisfying knowing Minho won’t have to go hunting his new neighbour down for his fancy Tupperware back.
_____________
“Oh! Hello?” Seungmin greets the man leaving his new neighbours apartment, it’s not the same man as the other day, this guy is blonde, tanned skin and a littering of freckles across his face.
Attached to his hand is a lead and attached to the lead is a golden retriever, tail wagging and eyes looking straight at Seungmin, tongue panting and clearly enthusiastic. “And hello to you too,” Eeungmin laughs, taking a step towards the dog. “Can I pet him?”
“Her,” Felix corrects. “And Yeah, yeah she’s not working right now so it’s fine.”
“Working?” Seungmin’s already on his knees, covered in the long shedding of the caramel coloured dog hair, saliva on his cheek as the dog licks him right smack dab in the face, making Seungmin splutter and laugh. “I’m Seungmin, by the way.”
“Ah, you’re the guy Channie met last time! I’m Felix, his boyfriend!” Felix graces Seungmin with a blinding smile but Seungmin struggles to keep up with looking at the guy when Lucky clearly wants his attention right now. “Lucky here is a service dog, I’m just going to take her on a quick walk while it’s cool outside before taking her back to Y/N and… Lucky!” Felix laughs at the dogs antics. “Get off him girl.”
“She’s fine,” Seungmin tells Felix as he stands to his feet, his black trousers fluffy and completely covered in hair. “Service dog, that makes sense though. My hyung has wanted cats since we first started renting this place but the landlord said we weren’t allowed, I guess that’s how you’re allowed here hmmm?” Seungmin asks Lucky who pants happily in response. “We’ve yet to meet Y/N though…”
“Ah,” Seungmin notices the stark contrast in how Felix’s smile doesn’t reach his face fully and how his eyes shift around. “Yeah well that’s… yeah. Anyway! It was nice meeting you Seungmin but Lucky has a tonne of energy so…”
“Yeah, yeah of course.” Seungmin gives the dog another pat to the head. “It was nice meeting you, you too Felix.”
Felix laughs at that, knowing Seungmin addressed the dog first. “You too Seungmin.”
……
“I met the dog, Hyung!”
“Have you been looking at yourself in the mirror again?” Minho says dryly before tucking into his dinner.
“Hyung!” Seungmin whines. “The neighbours dog. Big ball of fluffy fur-“
“Is that why when I did your laundry I had fur on my hands?”
“You did my laundry? You love me Hyung-“
“I tolerate you.”
“Same thing!” Seungmin chirps happily. “Anyway, Lucky’s a service dog. That’s how she can have them in the apartment!”
Minho nods, he supposes that makes sense. “Whats wrong with her?”
“What?”
“Our neighbour. Why does she need a service dog?”
“I don’t know! I didn’t ask!”
“We’re doctors, aren’t you curious?”
“I’m a pathologist,”
“A curious one,” Minho reminds him.
“She wasn’t walking the dog, someone else was. Felix, apparently he’s with the guy I originally met when I brought her the food the day she moved in, Chan I think-“
“So she doesn’t leave the apartment?”
“Hyung there’s a famous phrase that curiosity killed the cat-“
“We aren’t allowed cats so your threat is pointless.”
“You’re a cat, Hyung.”
“You’re a pain in the ass, Seungminnie.”
“You bottom, hyung?”
Minho grabs some of his bread roll and throws it at Seungmin.
“I’m literally straight.”
“Some straight guys are into that-“
“Can we eat dinner without talking about ass play, Kim Seungmin?”
“Didn’t you say you were curious?”
Minho throws more bread at Seungmin.
Seungmin laughs happily, though he does have some curiosity surrounding you in his mind. Minho is… right. God he hates when that happens. Do you leave the apartment? Why do you have a service dog?
“Hyung?”
“Oh no,”
“I haven’t even asked the question yet!”
“And yet I’m already anticipating it,”
“Maybe we should invite her over? Welcome her to the building?”
“She moved in a couple weeks ago, we fed her, remember?”
Obviously Seungmin remembers. “Come on Minho, we could do with making new friends-“
Seungmin tries not to push Minho too much, but Seungmin is the only person Minho ‘tolerates’ and Seungmin adores Minho, he could be considered his best friend, though he’d never admit that to the older.
It would do them good.
Dammit.
Minho hates when Seungmin’s right.
Curiosity really does kill the fucking cat.
“Fine,” Minho agrees. “But I’m not cooking, so if you invite her for food you better pay and order in, and do it when we both have a weekend free, you know I can only handle so much social interaction a day after cutting out organs for a day.”
Seungmin agree’s easily.
_____________
“Shhhh, shhhh it’s okay.” You tell Lucky as you make your way to your front door, your dog already yapping at you as your heart thuds in anticipation. “It’s just Channie, he forgot his key, you know what he’s like and-“ you swing your front door open.
It isn’t Chan.
It’s a tall guy, young looking, fresh faced, bright smile, wide eyes.
Lucky yaps happily in greeting but instantly goes back to you, glued at your side, watching you intently.
“Hey Lucky-“
“Please don’t pet her!” You blurt, the man’s hand frozen right before he can get to your dog. “She’s-“ fuck you need to calm down, Lucky’s ready started whining at you, head butting your leg. “She’s working right now.”
“Oh,” Oh? “Oh fuck I’m so sorry-“ the guy stammers out. “I’m sorry.” He continues. “I forgot I- shit this- God I promise I’m not inconsiderate or anything! I didn’t mean-“
“You’re fine.” You’re quick to interrupt. Hands clenched on the front door frame, hoping you can close it on him soon. “Can I help you?”
“You’re Y/N, right?”
You freeze. Instantly inhaling a sharp breath.
Oh no.
Lucky barks loudly, a warning.
Your hand absentmindedly falls from the door frame as does your energy. Lucky licks at your palm to bring you back into the moment.
“I’m Seungmin!” Seungmin rushes out to say. “I’m your neighbour. I brought you food when you first moved in! In a box with cats wearing-“
“Bow ties.” You exhale. He doesn’t KNOW you, just your name. Your neighbour. Okay. Okay you can feel your lungs starting to work again. “Sorry, yes. Hi. The food was delicious, I left a note-“
“My hyung made it. He uhh, he didn’t mention a note but he’s like that. Anyway, I’m here to invite you over, for dinner? On umm, Saturday? If you’re free? You’re probably not right? Saturday nights are for- Saturday night stuff…”
“Saturday night stuff?” You repeat.
“Like… clubbing or drinking or…”
“I can barely speak to you without having a heart attack. Do you see me going clubbing anytime soon?”
“Lucky would probably love the attention.”
Seungmin finally gets you to laugh. He smiles even wider. You’re clearly troubled, hurt? All he can see in your eyes is… lost? Lonely? He isn’t sure but that doesn’t deter him, he’s not going to give up.
Seungmin is stubborn through and through. “And you’re talking to me just fine, you can do the same Saturday too, while we stuff our faces.”
“We?”
“Me, you and my Hyung, since he lives there with me, he’s harmless.”
“The fact you had to warn me with the fact that he’s harmless doesn’t make him seem harmless.”
Seungmin chuckles himself, head thrown back and hair flopping up and down like Lucky’s own ears. “He’s all bark and no bite.”
“I uhhh-“
“You can bring Lucky?” Seungmin offers. “I mean, you probably have too, right? Incase you were worried about that.”
You were, worried about that, amongst other things.
“So?” Seungmin asks with a hopeful smile now adorning his face. “Will you come?”
……
“So what did you tell him?” Felix tries to sound nonchalant but his voice may aswell be vibrating in excitement and the prospect of you physically leaving this apartment.
“I said I’d think about it?” You wince as you repeat your answer back. “But-“
“Y/N.” Chan takes both your hands in his from across the dining table and you pretend not to notice Felix sneaking Lucky a piece of steak from under it. “Please go.”
“Do you think they’d let me invite you two? My emotional support humans.”
Chan snorts, Felix barks out a laugh.
“You can do it yeah? And if you need us-“
You squeeze Chan’s hands in an attempt to get him to stop. “You know I hate having to rely on you so much but I just…”
“I like being relied on.” Chan says without hesitation.
“I like being an emotional support human!” Felix says so enthusiastically that your heart melts a little.
“Seungmin did seem… nice?”
“He really did,” Felix agrees. “Lucky liked him too!”
“Lucky likes everyone and- Lix stop giving her steak!”
Felix pouts, hand below the table, lucky eating out of his palm. “Fine…”
“I haven’t met the other guy that lives there though…”
“Want me to go over there? Get an impression on him?”
“Go all ‘dad’ on him.” Felix teases Chan. “You know I love when you go all daddy-“
“Okay!” You stop their antics immediately. “Don’t you two think that I have enough trauma by now?”
The three of you dissolve into a fit of giggles, you almost feel like you can do it, go over to your neighbours house for dinner.
Almost.
It’s possible…
Maybe.
_____________
“Seungmin. Kim Seungmin… YAH!”
“What?” Seungmin looks at Minho, finally taking his eyes away from the front door that he’s been staring at for the last hour.
“I don’t think she’s coming, Seungminnie.” Minho uses the nickname to try and soften the blow. “You said seven, it’s nearly eight…”
“I just…” Seungmin sighs. “I just wanted to make her feel comfortable.”
Minho sighs. It’s always the ‘innocent’ ones that get hurt. Minho tries not to let a certain round of memories flood his mind as he can feel the bile rise up his throat. No. He’s over that. He’s over what happened back then. He has to be.
“I’m sorry.” Minho tries to apologise for the whole thing instead. “You can always try aga-“
A knock at the door startles Minho out of his sentence. Seungmin’s face perks up instantly.
“Oh,” Minho gathers himself, genuinely surprised.
“I knew it!” Seungmin’s smile is wide and unashamed,’his mouthful of metal replaced with pearly straight whites.
He’s come a long way since he was that insecure guy being picked on in college until Minho came to his rescue.
Minho will never admit that to him though, he is a Scorpio, after all. “I’ll reheat the dinner you bought, let her in Seungmin.”
“The dogs coming to Hyung!”
And before Minho can even register that sentence, Seungmin is flinging the front door open.
“You came!” And he may as-well be beaming.
“Sorry I’m late,” you try to steady your voice. “I… I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Seungmin smiles softly at you. “Hi Lucky.” He doesn’t pet her, he can clearly see the ‘service dog’ vest that she’s sporting, instead he just opens the door wider and gestures for you both to come inside, Seungmin watching carefully as you toe off your slip on shoes before detaching Lucky’s leash to hang that up too. “She won’t leave my side, unless you want me to put the leash back on…”
“No, no she’s fine. She’s a good doggy.”
Lucky wags her tail at the praise but doesn’t get over excited, remaining alert. She’s sensed your rapid heart beats already, that’s what took so long for you to come over in the first place, unable to calm yourself down enough to make it out the door.
But you did.
You did and now you’re here.
“Hyung! Come meet Lucky and-“
There’s the sound of something smashing, and it makes you flinch, jumping in your spot and lifting your head enough to make eyes with Seungmin’s housemate.
“Y/N.” Minho falters, his hands thankfully not cut by the plate he’s smashed, but shards of it are scattered around his feet.
“Hyung?” Seungmin looks between the pair of you, Minho’s eyes haven’t moved from you, but yours have, a whimper leaving your lips and heavy panting, Lucky instantly whining, jumping up to put her paws on your shoulders until you get down onto the floor, then Lucky continuing to try and get your attention, to no avail.
“Minho!” Seungmin shouts, trying to snap whatever the fuck is going on out of him. “I need your help, we need to help her-“
Minho almost laughs. You needed his help back in high school too, and what did Minho do? Nothing. Thats the whole point.
You saved Minho’s life countless times and he watched on as you nearly lost yours.
You’re the sole reason Minho decided to become a surgeon. To save people.
You’re the sole reason Minho tends to a garden full of vegetables. To care for something.
You’re the sole reason Minho eats three meals a day even if one is a shoddy granola bar. To never go hungry again.
You’re the sole reason Minho is alive.
“Minho!”
Minho finally looks up at Seungmin, panicked and unsure, before his eyes go back to you on the floor, the dog hovering over you, licking at your face and butting your chest with his nose.
“Okay,” Minho gathers himself, stepping over he broken porcelain plate pieces in hopes none of them go through his bunny ear slippers. “Okay fuck okay- okay what’s the dogs name?”
“Lucky,”
“Lucky, can we help? What can we do girl? Can we help her somehow?”
Lucky finally turns away from you and towards the bag you’d dropped at the entrance, pawing at it frantically.
“Seungmin!”
“On it,” seungmin rushes for the bag, opening it. Without being able to do shouting more than that before Lucky’s head is inside, retrieving a giant red button and pressing on it with her paw before going right back to your side.
“What do we do now?” Seungmin wonders, voice trembling. This is why he’s in the lab of the hospital and not with the patients.
Their front door bursts open before Minho can even collect his next rational thought. A man comes in and looks around frantically at the scene. “Y/N? It’s okay, it’s okay. LIX!”
Another guy comes through the door, Minho sees a mop of platinum blonde hair and wide scared eyes. “Hey, hey Y/N. Good girl Lucky.” Lucky whines high pitched, her head in your lap as both men settle either side of you. Felix holds your head gently and tilts it, so that you can comfortably put your weight against him as you whimper.
“What happened?” Chan asks Seungmin.
Minho feels like as stranger in his own him.
Seungmin doesn’t answer.
Minho does. “I did.” The man looks Minho dead in the eyes, searching for an answer, so Minho continues. “I… we… I was in high school with Y/N.”
He was more than just in high school with you, but that’s the only words he’s managed to get past his worried lips.
That’s all Chan needs to know. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck okay, shit fuck okay- Y/N, let’s get you out of here yeah?”
And for the second time that night you look past Chan to the one and only Lee Minho. “P-please.” You wheeze out, chest constricting like it’s trying to squeeze your heart out of your throat.
“Come on,” Felix carefully gestures for you to sit yourself up better and Chan scoops you into his arms so you don’t have to walk while your heart is overworking.
Lucky barks and Felix finally gives her the good girl pets. “You did well girl, you did so well.” Felix leashes up Lucky and grabs your bag, Chan already getting you back into your apartment.
“Do you uhhh-“ Felix looks at the mess surrounding the two men. “Do you want me to come back and help you clean that up?”
“No, no that was my fault.” Minho’s surprised his mouth knows how to move again. “I’ll clean it.”
“Will she be okay?” Seungmin’s voice wavers. Lucky goes over to him and headbutt’s Seungmin’s hand until Seungmin relaxes while stroking the dog. “Good girl.” He reminds himself to praise the dog out loud.
“She’ll be okay once she comes around she…”
“Panic attack right?” Minho’s voice is a whisper but Felix and Seungmin both look at him.
“Yes.” Felix answers honestly. “You said you knew her in high school?”
“Not well…” liar. “But I.. yeah.”
“So you know what hap-“ happened to her.
“Yes.” And Minho’s voice strains, hands trembling as he tries to bat the memory out of his head. “Yeah. Yes I know.” He was there.
But he doesn’t say that.
He doesn’t dare to say that.
“Okay that probably explains it. I uhh, I better go.”
“Can you ummm, can you let us know if she’s okay?” Seungmin asks worriedly.
Felix smiles softly. “Yeah. Come on Lucky,”
The dog goes easily, the front door closes behind her long tail.
“Hyung-“ seungmin tries.
“Can you just-“ Minho’s own breaths are unsteady. “Can you just help me clean up the mess please Seungminnie?”
Seungmin doesn’t say anything further. No matter how much he wants to.
He’s never seen Minho look so… petrified.
He gives it until the smashed plate is void of the floor and the dinner gets reheated for the second time, sitting heavily in his stomach until he finally asks. “Do you think she’ll be okay?”
“Yeah.” Minho says like it’s an instinct. Because that’s what he had to tell himself back then too. “She’s with people who clearly know how to handle her attacks right? She’ll be okay.” Minho isn’t sure if he’s telling himself that or Seungmin anymore.
“Hyung-“
“I can’t a minute Seungmin please just-“
“Okay.” Seungmin doesn’t push further than that. “Okay Hyung, sorry I-“
“No, no I’m sorry Seungmin.” I’m sorry Y/N.
____________
“It wasn’t him, right? He wasn’t- he wasn’t one of them?”
It’s a hard question for Chan to ask.
It’s a harder one for you to answer.
“You know that everyone involved is behind bars.”
“Because that’s what they deserve.” Felix reminds you, his hand having been clasped to yours for the last few hours while your heart managed to calm itself down. Lucky asleep with her head on your lap as your free hand runs through her fur.
“Because that’s what they deserve.” You repeat, giving Felix a tired smile to know that you agree.
Minho doesn’t deserve it though.
“You remember him though, yeah? I mean you must have for it to have triggered-“
“Chan,” Felix warns.
“It’s okay Lix,” you tell him softly, trying not to yawn from how tired you were from the panic attack. “I remember Minho, yeah. It was- it was a shock for sure.” You choose your words carefully.
How could you forget Minho? You couldn’t. Not ever. Not at all. Not even for a minute.
‘Shock’ isn’t exactly how you want to describe it, seeing him again.
More like you’ve just fallen into a sinking hole, and he’s at the top watching as you try and claw your way out, with no way to help because if he tries he’ll fall into the hole himself, and then you’ll both be ruined.
“Were you friends?”
You scoff a little at that. “You know I didn’t have friends in high school.”
What you and Minho had wasn’t friendship, was it?
You’ve never had anything with anyone what you and Minho had, have? Had.
“I just- it was a really big reaction Y/N. I hadn’t seen you panic that bad since-“
You took those fuckers to court and got them sent away for their crimes.
“I know, I just- I wasn’t expecting to see him. Or anyone, from back then, you know? I moved away for a reason. I thought South Korea was a bigger place…” you try to joke.
“Me too! And then I met another Aussie.” Felix teases.
“And it was love at first sight.” Chan looks at his boyfriend with a warm smile, you slump back in relief knowing the pressure is off you for now, and off Minho in tandem.
“Let’s get you into bed and get you some rest huh?”
“I have legs,” you protest but Chan has already called Lucky down and Felix is pulling you to your feet.
“And they’re working!” He tells you but refuses to let you go until you’re tucked into bed like a toddler. “Sleep well okay?”
You sleep, but you’re not sure if you call it ‘well.’
Does a ‘dream’ count as a ‘dream’ if it’s just a recollection of memories?
Dream is the wrong word to begin with.
It’s a fucking nightmare.
You’re sixteen again, and you can see their faces clear as day, each and every one of them, their gleeful laughs as they push you down the stairs in the back building of the high school, their eyes watching as you attempt to scramble to your feet just to be kicked and shoved down again. The way their saliva warmed your face as they spat on you like you were nothing but the floor beneath you. The way they managed to scare you so much that you backed yourself into a room, not realising that it only opened from the outside. The way their laughter drowned out your terrified screams to be let out, the only light being a slither from under the door, three inches wide. The way their voices got more and more distant, joking about how long they think you’ll survive, how long it’ll take for them to forget you’re even there in the first place…
The one thing that haunts you though, is the way you can hear Minho’s voice the other side of the door. The sliding of a plate barely making it under the door with some banana on a plate and a couple slices of bread put on for you to eat.
“I’m sorry,” his voice whispered to you, too scared to speak any louder. “I’m sorry-“
You don’t even know how long you’d been in there when he appeared.
He could have let you out. He could have unlocked the door, set you free, he could have- he could have told somebody, anybody.
But he didn’t.
He fed you stale bread and a browning banana and attempted to get water to you as best he could, having to empty most of the water bottle to crinkle it enough to squeeze it through the crack under the door.
The water that inevitably saved you from dying.
“I’m sorry,” Minho repeated again.
You didn’t have the energy to reply.
You didn’t have the ability to respond.
You knew that even if Minho could have done all that back then, let you out… he would have gotten caught. They would have known.
Minho was a ‘part’ of their group but he wasn’t a ‘part’ of it. You know? Just kind of there but never involved in the incident you endured, not really.
He was just… there. Surviving like you, too scared to say anything, to scared to be the one behind the locked door.
Minho was powerless enough in his own home, school was his only sanctuary, he couldn’t be powerless there too.
You shoot up from your bed to Lucky already at your feet, pawing frantically until your hands manage to find purchase in the bed sheets and you can feel them.
Your bedroom door is open, no lock. The only lock being on your front door and door to your small back garden, accessible both ways with a key you, Chan and Felix all have a copy of.
Safe.
You were safe.
You could get out if you needed too.
The only noise you can hear besides Lucky’s pants as you soothe her back down, is the whisper of a scared young Minho apologising to you over and over again.
The same boy that lives across from you once again. The same terror in his eyes when he saw you at his apartment as when you were finally free’d from the building at the back of the high school.
Five days later.
He never had that fear in his eyes when his dead would beat him to a pulp.
He never had that fear in his eyes when you used to patch his bruises and clean his wounds.
He only had that fear for you.
_____________
“Oh, hi Seungmin.”
“Hi Felix. Is uhh, is Y/N here? Is she okay? I just wanted to… apologise?”
“You have nothing to apologise for.” Felix tells him as he stands in the doorframe. “Y/N thought you might stop by and told me to tell you that.”
“Can she… can she tell me herself? Or can I… can I talk to her?”
Felix sucks in a breath. “Actually I don’t think-“
“You can come in, Seungmin.”
Felix whips his head around to look at you, mouth wide open.
“Really?” Seungmin queries and Felix pushes the door open a little more to see you snuggled up on your settee like you’re in a burrito, Lucky’s tail already wagging at the sight of the human version of herself.
“Come in then!” Felix is pleasantly surprised.
Seungmin gratefully steps in through the threshold. “Wow.”
“I haven’t finished unpacking yet, I know I’ve been here a few weeks now but-“
“No! No it’s really nice. It’s literally the same layout as mine and Hyung’s but it’s somehow more spacious?”
“Ah, I’m claustrophobic so I try and keep clutter to a minimum.”
“Are you calling my Day6 Posters and baseball trinkets clutter?”
“If the shoe fits.”
Seungmin laughs. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” He finally allows himself to sit down on the chair, and lights up even more when Lucky trots over to him. “Can I-“
“Yeah.” You say easily and Seungmin’s arms stretch out at the chance to pet the Labrador who responds happily to snatch up the attention.
“You’re a genius, you know that?” Seungmin tells your dog and you wholeheartedly believe him because well, Lucky is a genius. “Such a good girl.”
“I was actually just going to go grab lunch,” Felix now explains. “But I’ll order something if it’s easier. Seungmin, want to join us?”
“Oh!” Seungmin says surprised. “I don’t want to impose-“
“I think I owe you a meal.” You say a little softer. “Have lunch with us, Lix you don’t have to order, I know you’re desperate to take Lucky out.”
Felix laughs at the fact he’s been caught. “You can’t blame me! She’s so good and she tires me out!”
“I thought that was Chan’s job?”
Felix grabs a cushion and throws it at your head. Even Seungmin laughs. It’s nice seeing you like this, relaxed. At ease. It’s such a stark contrast to how he last saw you.
It’s baffling how you’re the same person, if he’s honest.
“Will uhh-“ Felix clears his throat. “Will you be okay here if I take Lucky?”
“I’ll be okay.” You reassure Felix.
“Y/N-“
“I’m safe here.” And it’s taken you a while to admit that, that this apartment you now call home is ‘safe’ for you.
But it is.
You’re safe here.
Felix immediately tenders, coming over to you to give you a hug. “Yes you are.”
Felix and Lucky leave, and although you feel slightly tense being left alone, it’s manageable, non threatening.
“Y/N I’m really sorry about-“
“It’s not your fault Seungmin, it’s mine. I was really foolish to think I could just go to a completely new environment and be fine. I haven’t- it was dangerous of me to do so. I never should have allowed myself to go when I wasn’t ready. I thought I was, Chan and Felix thought I was and I just… I wasn’t ready.”
“But you’re okay with me being here?”
“In my own home, yeah. Yeah I’m okay here.”
You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.
“Minho was pretty shook up.”
You gulp audibly. “Yeah, yeah me too.”
“Sorry- that was probably really insensitive of me,”
“No it wasn’t. Just because I show my feelings through the irregular beating of my heart doesn’t mean other people can’t feel things too… is Minho… is he okay?”
“He uh, he wouldn’t talk about it? He’s not exactly great at talking in general.”
You almost snort at that, but you must make some sort of noise because Seungmin quirks an eyebrow. “Were you guys…”
“No.”
“I didn’t even finish my sentence,”
“Whatever word you were going to use, the answer is no.”
Friends? No.
Lovers? No.
Arch enemies? No.
Anything? …
It’s not like Seungmin is going to say “Were you guys the kind of people that shouldn’t have got on and yet somehow did? Bonded over silent conversations and pleading eyes? You used to steal food for yourself and for Minho too, though you had to leave it by the old apple tree at the back of high school so nobody would see the two of you interact, Because Minho would be treated worse than you if they knew? Because Minho would be yet another lamb for slaughter? He was a lamb in his own home growing up, but he was a wolf back in high school and you wouldn’t dare take that away from him.” Highly unlikely.
“You can ask, Seungmin. I’m surprised you haven’t already.”
“It’s not my place,”
“Why else would you come here?”
Seungmin blinks at the. “Can I not be genuinely concerned?”
“Why would you be? You don’t know me.”
“I want too. Why do you think I invited you over for dinner in the first place?”
You have nothing to say to that. “Sorry.”
So you apologise instead. “My therapist last year told me that I sometimes struggle to accept proper who aren’t… Well I only have Chan and Felix so-“
“And Lucky.”
“Of course.” You say. “That goes without saying.”
“And now me too,”
You don’t fully agree with that yet, so you opt for a smile, you can brave a smile instead of verbally answering.
…..
“Where have you been?”
“I had lunch with Y/N.”
Minho’s hands visibly grip tighter onto the television remote, making him accidentally turn over the channel. “What?”
“Yeah, I went to see if she was okay after the other night and-“
“And was she? Okay I mean.”
“I think so? She seemed- she definitely seemed more comfortable in her place. Which is like, sterilised clean by the way. Not one thing out of sight other than some stuffed toys that were Lucky’s. I didn’t realise she was claustrophobic.”
“She told you that?”
“Yeah?” Seungmin suss visibly confused. “She didn’t make it a big thing? Just mentioned it in conversation.”
Conversation.
Because that’s something Seungmin can do with you, have conversations.
He doesn’t have to hide that he’s had them, doesn’t have to worry about the repercussions of talking to you.
…. Wait a minute.
Minho shoots up from where he’s been sat, dropping the remote in the process which is still switched over to something that Minho has never seen before in his life and has no interest in, and is shooting past Seungmin before Seungmin can question his Hyung.
Minho shrugs it off. He’s always being called ‘weird’ by the youngster anyway so he may aswell use it to advantage.
Minho’s raising his first and knocking your door before he chickens out, before he can run away, before he can stop himself.
There’s the signature sound of Lucky barking and Minho reminds himself that the dog is barking on the other side of the door because Minho’s just knocked the door and not because you’re having a heart attack or something.
Unless his knocking is causing you to… oh God what has he done?!
What the fuck have you don’t Minho-
“Minho?”
And before Minho can berate himself further and hate himself that bit extra, you’re there. Right in front of him.
There and alive and breathing and talking and.
“Y/N.” And Minho’s talking back to you.
Minho’s talking back to you and he doesn’t have to worry about being caught talking to you because he can do it. Right here in the hallway of his apartment complex without worrying about being kicked to the curb by his ‘friends’ or kicked BY them and it feels so good, it feel so good to be able to look at your face without looking away incase he’s caught looking.
He doesn’t even have to do it in the apartment complex. He can do it from wherever life takes him. He could talk to you wherever he wanted and he would be safe.
He would be safe because you put those ‘friends’ of Minho’s behind bars and Minho’s never even thanked you for doing that.
Not even just for putting them behind bars but for not putting Minho behind them alongside them.
Because you could have.
He and you both know damn well you could have, even if Minho wasn’t exactly an ‘accomplice’ to what happened to you.
He was there.
He could have saved you.
He could have and he didn’t.
He’s not sure if that’s worse than locking you in that shed in the first place.
It might be worse.
Knowing you were in there and doing absolutely nothing to get you out.
It’s worse.
Fuck it’s so much worse.
“Minho?”
Minho blinks, he doesn’t even realise that he’s trembling, or inside your apartment. When did he get inside your apartment? There something soft in his hands and oh, there’s a dog. Your dog. Golden fur running past Minho’s fingertips and big puppy eyes staring back up at him.
“What the fuck?”
“My thought exactly,” you say. “Are you alright? Lucky started signalling that your heart rate was increasing.”
“Oh.” Oh. “I- that’s never- I didn’t mean-“
“Why are you here?”
That’s a bit of a loaded question. “Here on Earth or-“ Minho tries to play his aloof and weird card.
You know him better.
Even now.
“Minho,”
“I just-“ he sighs, his breathing evening out as his hands continue to pad through Lucky’s fur. “I just realised that I never thanked you.”
“Thanked me?”
“You never-“ why is this so hard? “You never said my name. You never- you never included me in that group, when you were… when you named them. When you got them incarcerated.”
“I incarcerated who I needed too.”
“But I-“
“We don’t need to talk about it.” And Minho applauds the strength in your voice. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Sorry. Yeah of course not, sorry.” Minho’s apologies seem pointless. Too little too late. He’s at least eight years late.
“Seungmin mentioned that you’re a surgeon.”
“Junior, I’m training right now, not quite there yet.”
“I thought you wanted to be a dancer.”
Minho blinks. “A dancer?”
“You always used to dance, never with music though, but you’d dance in your backyard, the wind would be your music, the rustle of the leaves would be your audience.”
Minho used to dance outside in his back garden to try and forget that his mother was being beaten by his father and the fact that his stomach was eating itself from hunger because he was surviving from whatever you could hide for him from lunch and the impending doom that it would be his fathers hands on him next.
“You used to sneak out through your bedroom window.” Minho now says.
Perks of being neighbours with bedrooms facing each other, he supposes. You pick up on those things.
“Where did you used to go? I always wondered but I-“ could never ask. Could never talk to you.
“I had to get our lunch from somewhere, didn’t I?” You say as if it was obvious.
Minho should have known better back then, why didn’t he know better?
Your own parents didn’t notice when you’d come home with shoe prints in your stomach or a bald spot on your head form where hair had been ripped from your scalp, fuck they didn’t even notice when you were missing and locked away for five days, how would they have provided enough school lunch for you and Minho?
“I used to wait for the local joints to close and then take their leftovers, things they were throwing away- do you remember when I left you three donuts as a lunch that one time?”
“My body wasn’t used to those kind of treats, I ate them all within minutes and then I was sick right afterwards.”
“That’s real trauma right there, those poor donuts.”
Minho giggles, his shoulders relax a little. He can your own small smile trying to fight through your lips.
Minho cannot believe you used to sneak out of your house to get food for him as well as you.
You’d rarely if ever said so much as a couple words to each other, and that was normally through your bedroom windows, written on paper rather than opening the windows and directly speaking to each other.
You too scared you’d wake your overdosed parents up.
Minho too scared he’d grab his father’s attention.
‘Did you understand any of the math test today?’
‘Why are you still awake?’
‘What time is our exam on Thursday?’
Simple things.
“Can you believe we’re neighbours again?” Minho asks to the quiet of your living room.
It’s not an uncomfortable silence.
It’s more relief than anything.
“No, actually.” You say through a small chuckle, straining to do so through the whole idea of it. “Can you?”
“Yeah,” Minho says simply. “I can.”
You hum at this, taking it all in when Lucky moves away from Minho to go to her own doggy bed in the corner of the room.
She’s completely at ease.
Which means by default that you’re completely at ease.
And that’s terrifying.
“Would you consider coming over for dinner again?”
“I-“ Lucky quickly raises her head and you try to calm yourself back down so that she can get some much needed rest. “I think it might be easier if I have you guys here instead?”
“Oh?”
“Yeah I- it might be easier for me to handle? I could uh, I could cook?”
“You don’t have to cook-“
“And I could invite my emotional support humans. Chan and Felix.”
“Are they the ones that-“ almost broke down my front door to help you the other day.
“Yeah. Yeah that’s them.”
“Are you sure? I was inviting you to my place, not trying to intrude myself into yours.”
You blink up at him. “You’re literally in my place right now.”
“Oh.”
And then the pair of you burst into laughter.
It’s the Laughter of two little children, who are finally able to be loud, communicate freely, be themselves in a space that won’t hurt them. Be alive in a world that won’t hurt them anymore.
“Then yes. Yeah, I’d like that, I know Seungmin would too.”
“He’s sweet.”
Minho clears his throat. “What day works for you?”
“Friday?”
“Friday.”
________________
“So what’s the plan for tonight?” Felix asks as he lets himself into your home like he lives here, which he may as well so at this point, Chan close behind him, shicking off his jacket as Felix kicks off his shoes messily and throws his arms around you but not before going to lucky with a giant jerky stick of course.
“You spoil her.”
“She deserves to be spoiled!” Felix argues back like he always does. “So what’s the plan? Oooo can we get that chicken we had last week? It was so good. It was almost as good as sex.”
“Excuse me?” Chan says as he also gives you a hug in greeting.
“I said almost!” Felix pouts.
Chan grumbles under his breath and you laugh at the two of them and their ridiculous antics. “I actually uh- iunvitedseungminandminhoovertojoinusfordinner.”
“Huh?” Felix frowns. His Korean is much better than it was but when you talk all fast like that he has no hope in hell in understanding.
You don’t have to repeat it though, because Chan gasps and shakes his boyfriend’s shoulders back and forth and if he had a tail it would be thumping against your laminate floors. “You invited Seungmin and Minho over?!”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Felix blurts in his thick Australian accent in perfect English, it’s always his go too before his Korean kicks in. “Really?! Oh well we definitely have to order the chicken then!”
“The better than sex chicken?”
“ALMOST!” Felix whines perpetually.
“As excited as I am about all of this, are you sure? I don’t want you to-“ have another attack.
“I’m sure. Really, it’s in my own space and not only do I have Lucky but I have you two and-“
“Agh!” Felix lets his cute aggression out by squeezing you as if you’re a stress toy. “You know I love being an emotional support human!”
The door knocks and Lucky barks, Felix may aswell bark too with the way he pounces towards the front door to let Seungmin and Minho in. “Hi!”
“Hi Felix,” Seungmin greets. “Hey Lucky!” Seungmin greets happily. “Can I?”
“Yeah,” you automatically answer knowing what Seungmin’s going to ask. “Hi by the way,”
Minho laughs from behind Seungmin as he closes the door and takes off his shoes repsectfully. “Two dogs in the same room?”
“Puppies!” Seungmin corrects, happily being slobbered all over by a very happy retriever.
“Hey, I don’t think we met properly last time, I’m Chan.”
“Minho.”
“Now that we’re all acquainted can you PLEASE order the chicken?”
“Chicken?” Seungmin perks up and both him and Lucky look around the room comically.
“Which one’s the actual dog?” Minho teases.
“Puppy!” Seungmin defends.
Chan smiles at you and you smile back, showing him you’re okay.
“I’ll order the better than sex chicken Lix,”
Minho chokes on his own spit. “The what?”
“I said ALMOST!”
…..
Chan groans as he takes a bite of the chicken, steaming sticky orange sauce coating his lips as the drumstick wraps around his lips.
“Told you!” Felix says just to get the upper hand on his lover before turning to Seungmin and Minho. “Almost better than sex, right?” And then before either Seungmin or Minho can answer, he’s turning to you. “Oh! Speaking of sex-“
“Why are you looking at me?!” You splutter, face already heating up.
“Why ARE you looking at her?” Chan asks his Felix with a raised, unamused eyebrow.
“Okay, so hear me out-“ Felix begins.
“Absolutely not.”
“Please-“
“No.” You turn to Minho and Seungmin and continue eating your chicken. “Do not be fooled by his face. He is the devil incarnate.”
“Dressed like an angel, good disguise!” Minho joins in.
“You! You get it.” You tell Minho who laughs and nods his head.
He’s always ‘got’ you.
Always understood you.
You’ve always ‘got’ him.
Always understood him.
“When me and Lucky stroll through the dog park…” Felix ignores you in favour of telling you whatever it is he plans on telling you. “I met this guy Hyunjin, he has a black and white fluffy thing called Kkami, I can’t remember the breed but anyway! He’s single, and he looks like a prince, and-“
“And I’m an introvert who doesn’t leave her house without having a mental breakdown?”
“And I think you should start seeing someone.”
“Lix,” Chan wavers. “I know we both want Y/N to get out but we saw how she reacted at Seungmin and minho’s-“
“So I’ll just invite Hyunjin here!”
“You are not inviting a random guy into my house!” You exasperate.
“Seungmin and Minho were random guys!” Felix pouts. “No offence,” he then adds.
Seungmin laughs. “None taken. Though I hope we’re more than random guys now?”
“Of course,” Felix laughs.
“I was never random.” Minho says a little quieter, not realising that everyone is listening to him.
“You met through school, right?” Chan glances at you just as you drop your drumstick onto the table to take a breath.
“We were neighbours actually,” you tell Chan and Felix. “Before we were neighbours here, I mean. We were neighbours back-“ home. “In gimpo.”
“No way?!” Seungmin says, eyes wide and bouncing back and forth between you and Minho like he’s watching a tennis match.
“What are the odds of that?!” Felix says loud enough hoping he’ll distract you from lucky being fed a drumstick under the table.
“We didn’t know each other in school.” You state this to Chan in hopes it eases his thoughts and calms Minho’s too. “Not really.”
‘Not really’ yet you shared almost every class together.
‘Not really’ but you took the same path to and from school and sometimes ended up walking side by side once Minho was far enough away from his real ‘friends.’
‘Not really’ but you were desk mates in Science and he once turned the Bunsen burner up rather than down and set your eyebrows on fire.
‘Not really’ but you hid in the back of drama class due to your shyness and so you could watch Minho in all his glory front and centre act out a scene from a script like he was the main lead of the movie himself.
‘Not really’ but you both started leaving home at the ass crack of dawn for both of your own safety, and meeting up on a bench at the end of your street, letting him copy your homework answers because he was too busy being beaten to a pulp to do it himself.
‘Not really’ but Minho’s eyes were always on yours whenever you were in a vicinity close enough to that your beauty was in his view.
‘Not really’ but you used to steal gauze and bandaids from the nurses office and tuck them away in Minho’s tatted backpack for him as extras even after you’d patched him up without so much as a word shared between the two of you.
Not really, but really.
“So how do you guys know each other?” Felix now asks Minho and Seungmin.
“College,” Seungmin’s happy to answer. “Minho-hyung stopped some guys from breaking my glasses in the library when I was studying. Bunch of assholes, I thought bullying would stop in college but- it’s safe to say I was left alone after that day.”
“But not be me.”Minho says.
“But not by hyung!” Seungmin agrees. “He’s like the gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe!”
“You’re the shit on mine.”
Felix barks out a laugh and even Chan seems amused by the pair.
The meal finishes quickly with more small talk, and while Chan and Felix offer to clean up the takeaway leftovers and rubbish, Seungmin asks if he can use your bathroom and heads there to wash his hands and freshen up.
Leaving you and Minho.
“You helped him?”
“Huh?” Minho blinks, caught off guard.
“Seungmin. You helped him. He was being bullied and you helped him.”
“Yeah.” Minho admits. “I learnt from my past mistakes.”
“Minho-“
“I refused to be the person to watch it unfold after…”
After you nearly died.
“Hey Y/N?” Seungmin appears before either of you get to unfold Minho’s true meaning behind all of that. “You have no lock on your bathroom. I just, I thought I’d let you know incase you need to tell the landlord.”
“I uhh, I don’t have locks on any of my rooms. Just the front and back door. Thanks though.”
“Is that because you’re claustrophobic?” Seungmin genuinely wonders.
It’s because I was trapped for five days in a shed when I was sixteen. “Yeah.”
“Y/N-“ Minho’s voice sounds strained.
“Besides, it’s just me and Lucky here. And more often than not Felix and Chan, and even if I did have a lock on the door, I’ve caught them out in some very compromising positions so privacy is the least of my worries really-“ you try to joke.
“We said sorry!” Chan hollers from the kitchen.
“Tell that to my irises!” You holler back.
“Did you three meet in college too?” Seungmin wonders. “You never said-“
“We were in the same dorm block,” Chan explains. “And then when I graduated I offered Y/N to live with me for her final year of college because the dorms… well they were college dorms.” And not a day went by when you didn’t think you were going to die from heart palpitations. You did all of your work online, had a scholarship and everything, but you still had to live ‘on campus’ for your first three years of college. Chan managed to convince the board to let you stay with him once they saw that you had turned you dorm into a bunker of anxiety and could barely breathe tidily surrounded by so many people and feeling so unsafe.
“And then I met Felix by watching Chan bend him over on our kitchen counter.”
“You got to see my ass for free! Be grateful!” Felix tells you.
“So grateful,” you say dryly. “Made me celibate.”
Felix rolls his eyes. He’s desperate for you to find a love like he and Chan has, now you’re comfortable and set up here with Lucky. “Come to the dog park with me. You’ll be safe, Lucky will be in her element without having to worry about you since I’ll be there and you’ll get to meet Hyunjin.”
“Felix-“
“Well I’m glad you guys met.” Minho doesn’t know why he wants the conversation to change from Hyuniin and his damn black and white dog. “I’m glad that… yeah. I’m just glad.”
“Me too.” Felix agrees easily. “Oh! Do you have any embarrassing stories about Y/N? You’ve got to have something considering you were neighbours right?”
What about the hilarious time you had to perform CPR on your father after his heroin overdose and when he woke up he smacked you into next week because you yanked the needle from his arm and you basically wasted the drugs because it ejected into the floor?
What about the time your mother fed you Xanax for a meal so that you would sleep and not bother her by trying to gain an ounce of affection or love or even a hot meal from her?
What about the time that you had to ask Minho to help you get your mother into the recovery position because she was too heavy to move on your own and your father told you to leave her choke on her own vomit if she was stupid enough to not lay sideways before passing out?
What about the time you were caught using hot water to shower knowing your parents would be charged for doing so and so they locked the bathroom door and refused to let you shower or use the toilet for over a week and then lost the key to the bathroom altogether?
What about the time you wanted to see what all the fuss was about, what was so good about drugs that your parents chose that over being actual humans with any love to give to their own child, and then you begged Minho through scribbled words panicked onto paper to sneak and climb over and sit with you on your bed afterwards because you thought you were going to die alone in your room. You had taken paracetamol thinking it was some class A drug and Minho made you stick your fingers down your throat instead and bring it up, neither of you knowing what a pain reliever was because all you felt all day everyday was pain and seeing a little white pill was enough to have you both stressing.
“I’ll have a think and let you know.” Minho lies, forcing a smile.
“Great!” Felix says blissfully unaware of Minho’s inner turmoil.
Minho and Seungmin take their leave and you survived, and it only took a chip in your heart and memories you’d repressed and an ache in your chest. “I’m picking you up on Thursday and we’re going to the dog park.” Felix says the minute the door shuts behind them. “It’s not up for discussion. You survived that, you’ll survive this too. You can survive anything!”
Chan knows. He knows about the incident. He was the one that finally convinced you to take those fuckers down once and for all. He’s only told Felix bits and pieces, and as much as you trust Felix and would allow him to know, it would actually break the sunshine into half and destroy him of the innocence and purity he exhumes, and you don’t want that. Not everybody has to know about a tragic past, he can just know you as you without the need for the rest of it to be brought up.
He’s still supportive.
He’s still understanding.
Chan doesn’t know about your home life. You’ve never once mentioned your family and chan hasn’t brought it up since the first few times he tries way back when you first met.
You’re grateful for that.
The only person that knows is the one that bared witness to it.
Just like you’re the only person that knows about his own life back there too.
Something the two of you are too afraid to unpack, too afraid to start talking about because once you start you won’t stop and then you’ll feel like you’re back there, in that room, in that house. In that neighbourhood…
Lucky barks, you pull yourself out of your thoughts and let the top of her head. “I’m okay girl.”
You’ve gone from being a girl trapped in her own home to a girl being trapped in a shed to a girl being trapped in her dorm to a girl being trapped in her fresh start apartment.
You had to break the cycle somehow, somewhere, sometime.
“Thursday.” You tell Felix. “But do not have any expectations about me and this Hyunjin guy, and if it’s too busy I’m leaving, and if I start having palpitations on you then you’re paying for my medical bills, and-“
You don’t get to finish your sentence because your forehead is being kissed and there’s arms wrapped around your neck and you wince as Felix suppresses a sniffle.
“Proud of you.” He mumbles into your hair and you try not to let your own emotions show.
“Stop feeding my dog and thinking I don’t see it.” You say back, just to get Felix to smile again.
____________
“Thanks Hyung!” Seungmin smiles as about a food is placed infront of him. “I’m starving.”
“So stop talking and eat.” Minho muses, digging into a portion himself.
“I just passed Felix, Y/N and Lucky.” Seungmin makes conversation, “they’re headed to the dog park, she’s actually going! I feel proud. Is that weird? I would hardly call us close and yet-“
Minho’s spoon clacks against the porcelain of his dish and his dinner goes down in a nasty lump that has him struggling to breathe. “The dog park?”
Seungmin nods and spoons more food into his mouth. “Great right?”
“Yeah,” and it was, it really was. It was great that you were getting out, it was great that you felt comfortable enough to go willingly…
And yet something is simmering on the surface of Minho’s entire being and he can’t figure out what it is.
……
Hyunjin is nice, he’s kind, he’s sweet. His dog Kkami is an adorable ball of fluff who refuses any and all attempts of affection that Hyunjin tries to give them, but Lucky laps up the attention as per usual and Hyunjin seems thrilled to be covered in fur and to babble to your dog as Lucky’s tail waggles so furiously that she knocks Hyunjin’s iced coffee everywhere.
“I’m so sorry-“
“No need to apologise, just means we’ll have to go get a coffee together sometime to make up for it, hmm?”
He’s a smooth talker, but you don’t feel like he’s putting on an act to charm you, his laugh is contagious and his conversation is never dull.
You come away from the dog park with his number in your phone, a worn out Lucky and a Felix who cannot stop gushing about how proud he is of you and about how cute yours and Hyunjin’s babies would be.
You ignore that remark by giving Felix a shove and listening to his deep laugh as he walks you back to your apartment to make sure you’re settled and okay before heading off himself.
“Lix?”
“Hmmm?” He hovers in the doorway. “Everything okay?”
“Thank-you, for getting me out of the house. I- I really appreciate you. I had fun.”
Felix leaves before he cries like a baby in your arms and you smile to yourself as your phone vibrates with a flounder of heart emojis from the freckled man barely three seconds later.
_____________
“Minho?”
You opened the door fully expecting it to be Chan, Felix had plans with some friends of his tonight and Chan was never a big party person, so he called you up saying he was on his way with dinner and to be prepared for company.
You were not prepared for Minho.
“Hey,” Minho stands the other side of your front door, hands in his pockets and the tips of his ears bright red. “Seungmin wanted to see how you got on at the dog park.”
“Seungmin did?”
Minho clears his throat. “Yeah, but- but he’s sleeping ready to work the night shift, so I said I’d pop over and check at some point and well… it’s some point.”
“Right, well tell him it went well.”
“It did?”
“It did. I can’t remember the last time I even went on a walk. That’s kind of pathetic isn’t it?”
“No.” Minho says instantly. “Not pathetic.”
“Considering I used to walk everywhere, climb out my bedroom window… walk until my shoes fell apart-“
They fell apart because they were three sizes too small and you were trying to squeeze into them for four years, but semantics.
“And today I had to brace myself to dog my own dog to the park-“
“But you did it, and you said it went well, so-“
“Yeah. Yeah I went with Lix, we met up with that Hyunjin guy.”
“And he was nice?”
“He was nice.”
“Ah good. Seungmin was really worried about that.”
You can’t help but smile, but Minho notices the sadness in your eyes, the way the smile doesn’t reach the peaks of your cheeks. “Minho?”
He gulps. “Yeah?”
“I thought you’d be brave enough to talk to me properly now.”
And if that isn’t a knife into Minho’s fucking heart I don’t know what is. “I-“
“I get it. It’s fine. Tell Seungmin he doesn’t have to worry and that it all went well, okay?”
Minho closes his eyes and swallows hard. “Seungmin did really want to know, you know?”
“Yeah, but that’s not the reason you’re here, is it?”
Minho shakes his head. “No,” he admits. He finally admits. “No it isn’t.”
“You’ve changed so much and yet you haven’t changed at all.” You say carefully. “I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
Minho inhales your words like it’s oxygen, except it’s been poisoned and he’s suffocating. “I’m sorry.”
“I know you are.” You say back earnestly, because you know he is. “It’s you that won’t forgive yourself, I forgave you a long time ago.”
“How can you-“ Minho hiccups, when did he start crying? “How can you say that? How can you forgive me after- after-“
“You saved my life?”
“Saved your-“ Minho scoffs, but it’s all snotty and ugly and he really fucking hates himself right now. “Saved your life?! I ruined it! I burdened it- I did nothing to save you. I did nothing Y/N. I just- I watched while they- I mean what they did to you- I watched and I-“
Before Minho can get another word in, he’s being tugged forcefully and then his back is being pressed against a wall and there’s hands roughly grabbing at his collar. “You what?!” Chan is seething. Dinner long forgotten on the floor outside once he heard what Minho was saying.
“Chan!” You shriek.
Minho doesn’t struggle, doesn’t fight back. His fight or flight long past the point of being able to work. He just takes it, like he always did, like he always does.
“Chan please!” You scream, tears already running down your face and Lucky whining in the background trying to get you to pay attention to her.
Chan’s replaced in your mind with the vivid image of Minho’s father choking him out as you watch from your bedroom window, unable to do anything to help him.
“CHAN!” You heave, not sure when your knees hit the floor or when your chest started tightening. Vision going blurry as you struggle to consume oxygen.
Minho’s eyes widen. “Y/N?!” And then he gathers the courage to push back, fight back, making Chan stumble enough to shock him and let Minho swoop down to hold you into arms.
“Y/N,” Minho calls you gently. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry-“
But you’re not locked in a shed anymore as he apologises, he’s not a coward on the other side of the wall.
He’s there. He’s right there.
He’s there as you give in to your irregular heart beat, going completely limp into his warmth.
He’s there.
His apologises being drowned out by the blood rushing in your ears.
Chan’s cries and pleas also long gone to your brain.
Lucky’s licking your hand and crying out for you nowhere to be heard as you succumb to darkness.
But Minho’s there, and you know he’s there.
That’s all that matters.
He’s finally there.
No longer afraid to reach out, to hold you, to care for you openly.
To love you as he always has done.
He’s there, even if your mind isn’t.
_______________
Minho watches you, still asleep on the hospital bed, not woken up yet. Lucky at your bedside, curled up and snorting softly, Chan rigid next to Minho, Felix apparently on his way, Seungmin down in the lab making sure your blood results come sooner rather than later.
Minho had all but demanded whoever was on shift get their sorry asses to see to you immediately. Not that there was much they could do, they took blood samples and did an echocardiogram, it’s still beeping now so Minho can monitor your hearts rhythm.
“How long does she normally sleep for after an attack?”
“Depends on how hard the attack is.” Chan says back dazed, his hands shaking.
Minho’s shirt ripped from where Chan had him by the collar right before you collapsed.
“They say it’s like a heart attack. A panic attack.” Chan can’t believe he’s even talking to Minho but Felix isn’t here yet and if he stays in silence any longer he’s going to lose his mind.
“It’s very similar pain wise, apparently.” Minho says carefully and quietly.
Chan lets the silence fester for a minute more before he speaks again. “She wasn’t just your neighbour growing up, was she?”
Minho almost laughs at that. “No,” he finally admits it out-loud. “She wasn’t.”
“So why- what- how could you-“
Minho’s eyes haven’t blinked yet, they burn and they’re dry but he cannot take his eyes off you, not even for a second. “I mean, we were neighbours. And we hardly spoke through words. We communicated in a way that didn’t need them.”
“What are you fucking telepathic?” Chan wasn’t one for misunderstandings and coy answers. He wanted the truth, not bullshit metaphors or whatever game Minho was playing at.
“Might as well had been,” Minho says genuinely. “Nobody understood me like Y/N. Even now.”
“And yet you let her remain locked up in a shed for five days? Bullied constantly? Abused mentally and physically?” Chan scoffs. “Unbelievable, you’re fucking unbelievable! You should be rotting away in a cell with them. You know that?!”
Chan takes another deep breath. Trying to get his anger under control.
“She- when she first told me about it, about how it still haunted her, I didn’t understand how the monsters who did that to her could just be galavanting and living their daily lives knowing what they’d done, do you know what she told me?”
Minho doesn’t speak, he figures chan will continue talking anyway.
“She told me the tree remembers but the axe forgets.”
Minho whimpers.
“He’s a tree too, Channie.”
Both Minho and Chan jolt at the sound of your groggy voice.
Minho blinked once, once and now you’re awake.
“Y/N,” Chan exhales.
“He’s a tree too.” You repeat. “It’s not his fault.”
“Y/N he knew what was happening-“
“It would have ended in us both being locked in there and then we’d both never having made it out! Me and Minho did what we had to do to survive Chan. You don’t need to understand it, but we’re both trees. Both dented by axes, but still standing tall.”
Tears well in Minho’s eyes.
Chan takes a deep breath from your words, trying to dissect them.
Lucky pounces on the bed, licking at your face as you laugh, your throat dry and eyes heavy, but nothing stops you from revelling in the love from your puppy. “Good girl.” You whisper and she yaps happily. Tail thumping against the bedsheets.
“Y/N?! Oh my God!” Felix comes into the room like a bull In a china shop, throwing his arms over you and letting you be hit with the waves of hard liquor.
“You smell like a brewery.” You whine. “Get off!”
Chan pulls Felix back before reaching over to press a kiss to your forehead and then his boyfriend’s.
Minho takes a small step closer and you turn your head as best you can to meet his gaze. “Hey,”
“Hi,” he chuckles, eyes watery and lip wobbling.
“Fancy climbing out the hospital window and going to get me some donuts?”
And Minho laughs, tears streak his face and Chan and Felix have no idea what’s going on but Felix holds Chan back by clinging to him and swaying side by side so you and Minho can have your moment.
“I’ll tell the nurses you’re away and then I’ll go get you the best donuts in Seoul.”
Your eyes close from your tiredness, your heart still pumping faster than it should be.
“Get some rest.” Are the last words you hear from Minho before you let sleep take over.
“I could definitely eat a donut right about now.” Felix whisper’s except it’s not actually whispering because he’s slightly tipsy and so Chan shushes him softly and pets at his head to try and calm him down.
“Sure.” Minho agrees easy. “Chan? Donut?”
Chan can hear your voice. ‘He’s a tree too.’
“…Sure.”
______________
“Can one of you please help me out here?!” Felix pouts, jutting out his bottom lip in the best way possible and flashing his wide doe eyes.
“Gah-“ Chan closes his eyes immediately. “Don’t give me that look!”
“Yeah don’t give him that look, I don’t need you defiling my apartment thanks.”
Felix huffs. “I just want you to text Hyunjin! What’s the big deal?!”
“What am I supposed to text him? ‘Sorry I haven’t reached out since you gave me your number, I had a panic attack and thought I was dying, fancy getting that coffee you suggested now I’m out of the hospital?’ Come on Lix, be rational!”
Minho wince’s at the reminder of your latest attack, that he caused.
Chan also flinches from it, still not over the fact that his attack and lashing out on Minho resulted in your hospitalisation. He caused that.
“I don’t see anything wrong with that!” Felix protests. “Seungmin? Minho? Thoughts?”
“I try not to think.” Seungmin jokes to bring some ease back into the room, but when that fails he sighs. “I say go for it?”
Minho reminds himself to use all the hot water tonight so that Seungmin’s shower is ice fucking cold the betraying bastard.
“I just want your heart to race for the right reasons and not because-“ Felix gestures to you. “You know?”
“My heart races for ‘the right reasons’ like when delivery is free on our dinner orders.”
Minho snorts, and then you both turn to each other and smile.
Your heart races from that.
Is that what Felix means?
“Just text him!” Felix continues on, but it doesn’t break you and Minho out of your bubble. “He’s a good guy! You know he is. He’d be good for you.”
You’re still in the bubble but it’s burst around Minho, popping him right back into reality.
He’s not good for you.
Never has been.
Never will be.
“Me and Chan could even join you! Double date!”
“Absolutely not!” You shut that down immediately. “God I’ll go for the coffee! Don’t threaten me with a double date!”
“We aren’t that bad!” But Felix quickly grumbles after he’s shot looks from you, Seungmin and Minho completely unimpressed with his lie.
“You want us to be bad? Fine! Channie! Take me right here right now! Let’s give them a show!”
Chan splutters, face bursting red as Felix looks him in the eyes dead serious.
“I’m taking back your rights of being my emotional support human, you’re traumatising me.” You proclaim, making everyone laugh.
_____________
“You didn’t have to walk me back…”
“I wanted too.” Hyunjin smiles at you kindly, his eyes crinkling and his dimples showing. “I really am glad you decided to text me.”
“You should be more glad that I saved us the horror of double dating with Felix and Chan.”
Hyunjin’s laugh is loud, his voice ringing through the hall between apartments. “Maybe one day.”
“Once Felix is neutered, sure.”
Hyunjin continues to laugh and you find yourself smiling.
“Do you think you’d want to do this again sometime?” Hyunjin wonders.
“I- yeah, yeah actually I would. And thank-you, for being so understanding about me bringing Lucky-“
“Don’t be silly,” Hyunjin waves it off like it’s nothing. “I think she enjoyed her pupaccino just as much as you enjoyed your caramel latte.”
You agree with that wholeheartedly.
“Right, well-“
“Right yeah. Uhh-“ Hyunjin hesitates. “God I’m bad at this.”
“You’re fine, I don’t think there’s a book on how to handle this kind of thing-“
“Dating for dummies.”
“Are you calling me a dummy?”
“No!” Hyunjin falters.
“I’m joking.”
“Oh,”
“Oh,” you echo, a smile dancing across your lips.
“Well that’s- you’re funny. Yes. Not a dummy! That’s me, me I’m the dummy and- fuck can I kiss you?”
You blink, once, twice. “Me?”
“Who else?” Hyunjin tilts his head.
“Right. Maybe I am the dummy.”
Hyunjin laughs sweetly, takes a step closer to you. “Can I?”
And he leans in, and he’s so pretty, beautiful actually. And you close your eyes and wait and anticipate what’s to come and then…
And then there’s a door opening down the hallway, the next door actually, the one opposite you.
“Oh- sorry to… interrupt.”
Hyunjin takes a step back and your eyes spring wide open. “Minho?”
“I was just…” Minho struggles. “I was just going to the supermarket, I really didn’t know you were out here with uhhh-“
“Hyunjin.” You introduce him, “And this is my neighbour, Minho.”
“Nice to meet you!” Hyunjin bounds over and offers his hand, slightly wincing when Minho puts a little too much pressure into the handshake.
“Yeah, you too.” But Minho doesn’t exactly sound thrilled. “Did you need anything from the store Y/N?” He’s looking straight past Hyunjin and to you, walking over to give Lucky some attention since she’s been squirming for his attention since he opened his door now that Lucky’s used to Minho’s presence being around, she’s the same with Seungmin too though Minho thinks they come from the same mother, and compares the two regularly just to annoy his favourite pathologist.
“I’m good, thanks Minho.”
“Right. Well I’ll see you later yeah?”
“Yeah. Yeah okay.”
Minho lingers a little longer than normal, and you gasp when he puts a fallen strand from your face behind your ear before finally tearing his gaze away from you and walking away, walking straight past Hyunjin.
“Well…” Hyunjin clears his throat. “That was-“
“My neighbour, yeah. One of them, anyway.”
“Right,” Hyunjin acknowledges. “You realise that he’s in love with you, right?”
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Lucky doesn’t know whether to bark or not, you can see her trying to figure it out as your brain processes what Hyunjin just said.
“W-what?”
“Like, painfully in love with you,” Hyunjin continues. “I like you Y/N, but I can’t get in between something like that. I’m a dummy but I’m not that dumb, you know?”
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Is this the food kind of racing Felix was talking about? What is happening right now.
“Hyunjin I-“
“Oooo am I being your awakening for realising you love him too?!” And Hyunjin sounds excited about it.
He’s such a sweetheart. It almost hurts.
“I really hope you find love, Hwang Hyunjin.”
He kisses you on the apple of your cheek.
Your heart doesn’t race from his lips against your cheeks, but it does for the tingle behind your ear, where Minho’s fingers just lay.
“I will,” He says. “But for now I’ve found a friend, and I’m grateful for that. Don’t be a stranger okay? Text me anytime. I want all the details and a thank-you coffee for when the inevitable happens thanks to me!”
Hyunjin leaves and you’re already unlocking the door to your apartment while dialing the phone.
“Hello? Y/N?”
“I need my emotional support humans right now.”
And that’s all you need to say.
…..
“So let me get this straight-“ Felix sucks in a breath. “You guys used to be all Taylor Swift in the You Belong With Me Music Video with the signs in the window thing, you used to sneak out of your house for him, share lunch with him, let him copy your homeowner answers, walk too and from school together and now you’ve found each other all over again and you just happen to have panic attacks whenever you’re around him, the first time just from the fire shock of seeing him and the second before my boyfriend has to go all Macho Chan on him and you were so scared he was going to get hurt that your heart physically couldn’t take it, and now you’re having a crisis because you didn’t realise you were in love with him this entire time?!“
“You didn’t realise it either!” You blurt. “You set me up with Hyunjin and-“
“And he noticed because Minho got all jealous and had to pull the hair behind ear move like a cheesy 2000’s Amanda Bynes romcom-“
“Don’t hate on 2000’s Amanda Bynes Romcoms!”
“Bitch as if I would ever!” Felix gasps as your sheer audacity. “I’m just saying… sounds like love to me.”
“You’ve never just been neighbours.” Chan now speaks up. “That’s what Minho said to me that day in the hospital. That you’ve never just been a neighbour to him. He’s never just been that to you either, has he?”
And Chan still doesn’t have Minho’s backstory, because it isn’t yours to tell and it never will be, and although you can see Chan doesn’t completely understand, he’s trying too, because he respects you and he wants what’s best for you. Him and Felix do. They always have.
“No.” You admit. “He’s never just been a neighbour to me.”
Because you’re trees together. Roots intertwined. Leaves brushing against one another. Bark thicker than what the axes could cut through.
___________
There’s barking outside Minho’s front door.
Continuous barking, and at first Minho’s brain isn’t understanding what’s happening, too late in the day for his mind to work, so he closes his eyes and allows the dog to bark.
Until he realises that the only dog around his entire apartment block is Lucky.
And then his door may as well just not have hinges anymore with the way he rips it open.
“Lucky?” And the dog yaps again, before sprinting towards your front door.
And Minho follows.
God fuck does he follow.
“Y/N?!” And he sounds frantic, and you’re right there as he swings your own front door open. his hands grab at your arms and he looks at you with so much fear. “Are you okay? What happened? What-“
And then he malfunctions. Because your lips are pressed against his and it’s clumsy and raw and his heart is beating out of his ribcage.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
“So that’s what it feels like,” you say when you pull apart.
“What?” Minho’s mind is swirling and he’s really struggling to function as a human right now.
“For your heart to race for the right reasons.” You giggle.
Minho’s hooked on the sound. “Y/N what-“
“Do you think I snuck out of my bedroom window, sprained my ankle and walked three miles to get stale donuts with heaps of frosting, strawberry might I add because it’s your favourite for just anyone, Minho?”
And for the first time since he was a kid, he can look back on his past and laugh about it. He can laugh about it because you were right there with him.
You survived together.
You grew together.
You loved together.
Neighbours then and neighbours now.
Two trees woven and bonded by roots and dents and axe marks and now there’s a family of squirrels nesting in one of your branches and a woodpecker in his.
Life blooms.
Love blossoms.
Minho has a feeling you won’t be neighbours in the future, but homeowners together.
He pulls you back in, resting your forehead against his.
“This is what it feels like.” Minho says your words back to you. Your hands pressed against his shirt, his heart rabbiting underneath.
__________
“Does that mean we can finally double date?!”
“No.”
“No.”
“Come to think of it,” Minho starts. “Does this not count as a double date?”
“And what am I? Chopped liver?” Seungmin wonders around the dinner table where you’re all gathered for another ‘almost better than sex’ chicken night.
“You’re like Lucky, another pet for us to feed.” Minho teases, his arm going around your shoulder as you laugh into him at his remark.
Happy.
Content.
So in love.
“Yah! Felix! Stop feeding Lucky the chicken!”
“If Lucky gets extra then I get extra too! Pet privileges and all!” And Seungmin seems way too happy about that.
You feel Minho’s fingers caress up and down your arm and you turn to find him already watching you.
You’ve never needed words when it comes to the two of you.
You already know.
“I love you too.”
Fin ❤️