Chapter Text
1995
It was a vision he had when he was seven. He was on his tire swing in the backyard, going so high he was sure he was going to fly into the sun. The wind on his face and the lightness in his body were so gentle and loving that he found himself letting go. Flying away from the tire, away from the tree, he never felt so free until he smashed onto the hard-packed ground. A burst of pain, his lungs refused to hold air, and he stared into the blue, blue sky. He felt so tired, the screaming of his mother so far away, and white spots began blooming over his vision. Soon everything was white, and a gray shape grew from the center. It stood in front of him for a few moments, regarding him.
"I am GOD," it said, answering his question though Tyler had asked nothing.
His mother had told him about God. He was your spiritual father who loved and cared for you and you always had to capitalize when you called Him 'He'. And he had a Son (whose name you also had to capitalize).
"Everything happens for a reason. This is the most fortunate moment of your life," he continued.
Tyler was confused. He had fallen off his swing and his mother was screaming and he could still hear her at the back of his mind, his father shouting something. It didn't seem to lucky to him.
"Excuse me, but I want to go back now. My family is worried about me."
"But you are alive, are you not?" He asked.
"Yeah."
"Do not worry. You'll come back. I must to talk with you first."
"Um. Okay."
The gray shape slowly became more defined after Tyler spoke. He still could not make out any precise details, but he could point out a head, arms, and legs. Lightning sparked from his eyes.
"I have chosen you to serve me. Do you know why?" He asked.
Tyler's mind raced for an answer. His bible study teacher had mentioned that being good would get you closer to God. Was he good? He didn't argue with his parents or rob banks or anything that he'd been told was bad.
"Was I good?" he asked.
"No."
"What?!"
"No person on earth is good. Evil is the natural state of humanity. Only the love and compassion from GOD can save someone. Otherwise, they only feel death."
Tyler felt cold.
"Everyone? Even babies?"
"You would be surprised, TYLER. That is why you must learn to forgive and depend on me. Otherwise, you will fail."
His voice was like thunder when he spoke those last words. A chill ran through him.
"What do I need to do?" he whispered.
"All you need to do is listen to me. I will always be with you."
He wasn't sure if he wanted God following him around all the time if He would always be this frightening. But he shrugged. Maybe He wouldn't talk to him too much.
"Okay."
"Good. Now I will send you back to your family. Don't be too alarmed."
The brilliant white quickly faded to black, God still standing in the center of his vision as colors began to flash over the black and dazzled him, red on blue on green on purple and a few colors that he's never seen before. And all of a sudden he was in a bed beneath fluorescent lights, and his insides jolted like he was on a train slamming to a stop. He groaned in pain, because all of a sudden his head started hurting like someone was whacking his skull with a mallet. Someone stirred beside him.
"Tyler?"
"Mom?"
She rose from his bedside and hovered over him. Her face was blurry, but he knew it was her. Her voice, her perfume, he shut his eyes as he took that in and she hugged him, a bit looser than she normally would. He was grateful, because he was pretty sure his head would pop with the pressure if she held him any tighter.
"You're awake," she whispered into his bandaged forehead.
"What happened?"
She pulled back to look at him.
"You fell off your swing and hit your head. You're in the hospital now. No no, don't move too much, let me get that for you," she said as Tyler reached for a glass of water on the side table.
She held it up to his mouth as he drank desperately, breathing hard as he felt the cool water settle into his stomach.
"Where's Dad? And Maddie and Jay and-"
"They're at home. It's late at night."
"Oh. How long was I sleeping?"
"For a few hours. The doctors were worried that you might not wake up, but they don't know you, how tough you are. You get that from your father, y'know," she said as she stroked his hair.
"So can we go home?"
"Not yet, dear. You need to stay for a few days so they can make sure everything is okay."
"M'kay."
He turned his thoughts to other things. For example, the fact that he could hardly see a thing. He thought it was the brightness of the lights that had impaired his vision, but it's been nearly five minutes and his eyes definitely should have adjusted by now.
"Mom? Everything's blurry."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I can't see anything."
Tyler heard his mother press the 'Call Nurse' button on the side of the bed.
Blind. That's what they declared him after a blurry doctor came in and pointed at a blurry chart at the other side of the room and asked him to read the blurry letters. He couldn't read any of them. The doctor scratchscratchscratched something onto a clipboard, rrrrrripped out a sheet, and handed it to a nurse, who patterpatterpattered away as fast as they could while the doctor took his mother into another room and closed the door so he couldn't hear what they were talking about. He put his hands to his ears to try and hear better.
"Uncommon, but not unheard-"
"Back of the head-"
"Brain tissue swelling-"
"Permanent?"
"Only time will tell."
The grinding of a chair being pulled out, and then the heavy creak of someone collapsing into it. Soft weeping.
He stared blankly at the wall. The red second hand of the clock on the other side of the room was a fat, blurry worm swinging over the white face of the clock. A boulder of worry rested inside him.
>GOD, why can't i see clearly? i don't want to be like this forever.
>Don't worry, tyler. It will not always be this bad. You do not need two working eyes in order to get to heaven. In fact, you will see more than the average person. Your curse is a blessing.
>Are you sure?
>Yes. You will live by faith, not by sight, son.
>Son?
>Yes. You are my beloved child.
>Okay.
>...
>...
>I will show you many things, secrets, the past, present, and future, if you follow me. I will take care of you. And one day you will see the biggest secret of them all.
>What's that?
>My true form.
>Can you show me now?
>No. You would be destroyed.
>Why?
>I cannot physically exist with SIN. You must become even holier than Moses to see my face.
>Is that hard?
>Yes. But we will work together.
>That sounds okay.
>Indeed.